Afro/Latino Issue 167

Issue #167 4/1/2011

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FEATURED FEATURED Inside Inside

This Weeks IssueThis Weeks Issue

Afro/Latino

Parade &

Festival

June 11th

Eddie Moran

running for

School Board

Director

Chris Brown:

Losing

Health News

Living With

AIDS

.Jokes

From the Publisher… The Longest Running Minority MagazineFrom the Publisher… The Longest Running Minority Magazine

WW elcome to the 166th Issue

of Afro/Latino Bi-Weekly

Magazine. Here you will find your

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3/18/20113/18/20113/18/2011 Issue 166Issue 166Issue 166

Jillian Sinead-

Algarin Youth Outreach

Lynn Travillion

Reyes Internet

Researcher

Wanda Jackson

Harrisburg

Coordinator

“To see what’s in

front of ones face requires a constant

struggle”

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Mason Jamal writes about men, women and popular culture

Since we started the Curvy Girl's Guide series, there has been quite a

bit of controversy over the term "curvy" and what the word really means.

Is "curvy" just a polite, politically correct way of saying "fat"?

Does it refer only to black women?

Does being anything over an 8 mean that a woman is sitting on

her couch all day, stuffing her face with fast food while letting her

treadmill collect dust?

Simply: no, no and no.

"Curvy" certainly includes those ladies who are plus-sized - actress

Mo'Nique is a great example. However, it can also apply to a woman who may be widely considered to be of

average size, or even small, but who has a very womanly shape (think: Beyonce, Alicia Keys) and goes beyond

the current Hollywood ideal that anything over a size 4 is "questionable." In fact, the term "curvy" can even be

used to describe women who are otherwise thin but wear a little extra weight in particular areas of the body, i.e.

Kim Kardashian.

When we use "curvy", know that it is meant to encompass a number of different body types and shapes, not sim-

ply the all-around ample. Even when your waist is a 0, it takes many hours of shopping, tailoring and finagling to

fit a shirt or dress over a DDD chest. Some women can wear bikini tops with ease, but find themselves visiting

specialty shops for bottoms that will fully cover their ample derrieres!

And while hours of exercise and dieting will give you toned arms, legs and six-pack abs, genetics

are a killer and, without the help of surgery, those breasts and booty just won't go away. So why not

praise the woman blessed with abundant assets with an article series focused on the best fabric cuts for her spe-

cial areas?

The word "curvy" is not reserved only for black women, either. We've already used the example of Kim Kar-

dashian, but there are several other non-black women who can be considered "curvy," including actresses

Scarlett Johansson, Salma Hayek and actress, former Miss World and Indian beauty Aishwarya Rai.

To settle the dispute once and for all, here's a gallery of a variety of bodacious beauties - both black and non-

black - and what earns them the "curvy" title.

Hot Debate: 'Curvy' Vs. 'Fat' What's the Big Difference


http://www.bvonstyle.com/category/Curvy%20Girls%20Guide/


It seems as though Chris Brown insists on challenging Charlie Sheen for the

'bad boy' award of 2011, although his antics portray a guy who is, nonetheless,

losing it.

Appearing on 'Good Morning America' Tuesday morning for an interview

with co-anchor Robin Roberts to promote his new album, F.A.M.E, Brown

went into a rage after his first performance. Trashing his dressing room and

smashing a window with a chair, he tore off his shirt, threatened a GMA pro-

ducer and stormed out of ABC Studios without completing a second scheduled

performance.

Having lost his good-guy image after he beat his ex-girlfriend Rihanna in 2009, Brown now seems intent on show-

ing the world just how bad he can be. With bleached hair, a slew of tattoos and the quintessential jean jacket with

the sleeves torn off, his image screams more teenage rebellious angst than true 'bad boy,' and throwing a tantrum is

a surefire way to let mommy Robin know "I'm mad!"

Is this just a case of "I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore" or are we seeing the

pattern of a young man who never learned how to communicate, instead reverting to anger and vio-

lence?

Brown was witness to domestic violence as a child, and spoke out about his harrowing experience living with an

abusive father. Although unfortunate, it doesn't mean his behavior as an adult is excusable. Many people struggle

with anger, especially in relationships, and without the proper tools to communicate, one is unable

to channel or release the anger, and they end up catching the crazy over and over again.

I'm currently working with a client whose anger issues are driving a wedge into his relationship. He has been using

anger as a shield to block anything that makes him uncomfortable in life, and as a weapon to get his way. The misuse

of this emotion has not only created a wall to protect himself from those he perceives to be his enemies, but has

alienated and hurt those who seek to love him. This has left him depressed, lonely and unable to open himself up

completely to let love in.

On the other side of the coin, dating men who have bad tempers is a recipe for disaster. Anger and vio-

lence are commonly used in relationships to control and exert power over a partner. These are some of the most

dangerous relationships, because no matter what you do to avoid or tiptoe around the angry partner, they

will find any excuse as a reason to abuse and dominate, justifying their actions by blaming the victim.

If you find yourself in a relationship with a "yeller," or someone who uses

physical dominance to intimidate others, find the nearest exit and bolt. Rebecca Brody i

Chris Brown: Losing

The LEGION HALL 237 N.3rd St. 610-375-9202


Who was the idiot who said, "If you really love someone, you never let them go, no matter how hard it is?"

What?!? What's sad is this statement is not only untrue but, to many people, operate as if it's law. Granted, everyone makes a mistake or two in relationships, but successful relationships are structured for learn-ing from the mistakes, not continually making them.

When you really love someone and it gets to be more than you can bear, sometimes you have to let it go, so you don't begin to lose love for self. Nothing is worse than loving someone to the point where you begin to deal and accept things you never thought you would, or the things you don't really want

to. Yes, there's something to be said about two people working through problems in a relationship. However,

you have to be keen to when the relationship, in general, is the problem and/or you're the only one trying to work it out. Here are 8 signs that it is probably the best time to break it off and exit stage left. 1. You told a lie, or a secret is kept that puts you at risk.

Did she not tell you about that time in college when she contracted HIV, and now your health is faltering? Did he not tell you that he

makes his extra money hustling drugs, and you both go to jail when the cops pull you over? Any lie or secret that puts your health or well

being in harm's way is enough to send someone packing.

2. Everyone says they are no good for you. Every person in your life, including your dog, doesn't like them. Your family has disowned you, your friends have shunned you, all after get-ting to know them and having valid reasons, and you may be letting love blind you.

Everyone isn't going to always like your choices, but anyone who loves you should respect them. These are the same people in your life

who have known you long enough to know the good and bad, and have an idea when something may not be the best for you.

3. Your only focus in life has become your terrible relationship. If people ask how you're doing and your first response is, "I can't stand my girl," then you're not in a good place. When a bad relationship consumes your thoughts to the point you realize it's really all you think about, and you aren't really productive elsewhere in life, you need

to consider ending the relationship. You have one life to live, and if you can't cultivate your dreams and goals because you're trying to maintain a relationship that does nothing

but destroy them, it's time to move on.

4. Other relationships make you angry. You just found out your best friend is getting married, and the first thing you do is tell them it isn't going to work. Being part of an unhappy

relationship usually makes it hard for you to be happy for others in love. If you find yourself giving friends bad advice, teaching young people to be jaded by love or always feeling anger/resentment when you see

healthy relationships, you may want to end what you have going on.

5. Communication is nonexistent. Do you think the best times with your partner are when you don't talk at all? Have all types of communication, including sex, ceased in the

relationship? If two people can function in the relationship without even speaking or acknowledging each other in any way, you may want to

talk about breaking it off.

6. Fights begin to hit below the belt.

We all know it's not uncommon for couples to fight. However, if those fights become increasingly more frequent or your partner begins to always say things that do irreversible damage, it may be time to throw in the gloves. People who love each other don't hit below the belt and say things like, "You would never make a good mother; that's why you can't have kids" or "You can be such a b**** a** negro some-

times." Whoa, strike out. 7. You're involved with a repeat offender. Everyone cheats and everyone lies, and most times relationships can reconcile after one incident. However, when you make it a part of

who you are and consistently behave so that you become a full-blown cheater and a liar, there is no room for these types in relationship. They make it their job to remember their lying ways, keep lying so they don't get caught and disregard how the lies will affect you. In the

long run, you are better living your life without them. 8. The only reason you're still together is because of time.

It's so sad when you ask someone why they are still involved in a toxic relationship, and the only excuse they give is all the time you have invested. If you're always saying, "We've been together for 12 years," stop counting. If 10 years out of the 12 you were unhappy because she cheated on you eight times, or he doesn't touch you anymore but to hit you, you may really want to consider other options. It's better

to think about all the more positive tomorrows you may have single than all the terrible yesterdays you had coupled up. Let it go. By Shirea L. Carroll

8 Signs the Relationship Is Over



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Afro/Latino Magazine as a part of the community we are obligated to inform, encourage, motivate, Afro/Latino Magazine as a part of the community we are obligated to inform, encourage, motivate, Afro/Latino Magazine as a part of the community we are obligated to inform, encourage, motivate, empower and educate our citizens on the facts and deempower and educate our citizens on the facts and deempower and educate our citizens on the facts and de---myth any and all misleading, negative, untrue myth any and all misleading, negative, untrue myth any and all misleading, negative, untrue

and fraudulent information floating in our neighborhoods that are meant to disenfranchise our and fraudulent information floating in our neighborhoods that are meant to disenfranchise our and fraudulent information floating in our neighborhoods that are meant to disenfranchise our people.. people.. people..

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Afro/Latino Issue 167