After Guns Stopped

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After the Guns Have Stopped:Searching for Reconciliation in Burundi

By Theoneste Bizimana and Anna Sandidge

A report from

the African Great Lakes Initiativ

of the Friends Peace Teams


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Acknowledgements

We would like to extend our gratitude to all who took

the time to be with us and to share their amazing stories.Special thanks to Adrien Niyongabo for making special

arrangements for this work in Burundi, and to Elie

Nahimana and the Burundi Yearly Meeting. Special thanks

also to all the facilitators and to those who made local

arrangements. We are grateful to Dawn Rubbert for her

diligent and thoughtful editing and to Laura Shipler Chico

for her insightful comments and corrections. Thanks to

you, the readers of this report, and, to all who have made

this report possible.

Editor, David Zarembka

Copy Editor, Dawn Rubbert

Layout, Tommy Zarembka

Printing, Peace Institute Printing

Friends Peace Teams

AFRICANGREATLAKESINITIATIVE

1001 Park Avenue

St. Louis MO 63104

www.aglionline.org

[email protected]


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Here is an opportunity. An opportunity to hear the lives of eighteen individuals and their response to the

violence that has affected them in remote, rural areas of Burundi. An opportunity not to hear the cries of those

in the midst of conflict, but the mature thoughts of people who, more than a decade after the violence began,

are healing. An opportunity to hear from very disparate peopleyounger, older; men, women; Hutu, Tutsi;

brave and just like most of us; educated and illiterate. An opportunity to listen to unheard voices of Africans

indicating how the peaceable community may be restored. An opportunity to hear what they have to say to

those of us in the international community. An opportunity to contemplate what their experiences and healing

say to our own condition at a time of dometic and international violence. What happens after the guns have

stopped?

When I visiting Burundi in October 2005, Adrien Niyongabo, the Coordinator of the Healing and Rebuilding

Our Community (HROC ) program, and I met with Mamerthe Sibomana and I was overwhelmed by the

stories she told us. Listening to Mamerthe I realized that there were probably many stories that needed to betold and heard. I was fortunate to discover that Anna Sandidge, who had spent July to September in Burundi

with our workcamp and then afterwards with our other programs, was willing to go back and interview average

Burundians living in the areas where HROC workshops had been conducted. Theoneste Bizimana, the HROC

coordinator in Rwanda, was able to come to Burundi to partner with Anna and interview forty-one people with

Anna. Theoneste speaks Kinyawandan (the language of Rwanda) which is very similar to Kirundi (the language

of Burundi) and he previously spent a month studying peacemaking in Burundi. While I had high expectations

that this interviewing process would be successful, the report exceeds even my high expectations.

As one listens to these stories, one realizes that the situation in Burundi is complex. There is not a good side

and a bad side/good people and bad people, not even a Tutsi side and a Hutu side. Life is more complicated

than our poor powers to add or detract.

The essence of finding that of God in other people is to try to empathize with themto try to put yourself in

their shoes (although I suspect that many who were interviewed do not have shoes, perhaps only flip-flops or

bare feet). As you read, try to imagine what you would have done if you had to live the life-stories described

in this report. How would you have survived, not only physically, but emotionally and psychologically?

The interviews are followed by an evaluation conducted by Peter Yeomans on the effectiveness of the Healing

and Rebuilding Our Community workshops. We have placed the table of traumatic events revealed in the

study on the back cover. There are nineteen of them. In my whole life, I have never experienced or witnessed

even one of these events. Some I cant even imagineForced to hide among the dead or forced to harm orkill a family member or friend. Participants in the HROC workshops each experienced an average of 9 of

these traumatic events..

I recommend that you read this report carefully, listening well to the lessons of the stories and the wisdom of

those who are healing from traumatic events.

David Zarembka

PREFACE


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TABLEOFCONTENTS

Introduction...............................................................6

Coming Home...........................................................11

Changing Lives.........................................................20

Creating Hope..........................................................29

Conclusion..................................................................39

Reflections..................................................................41

AFTERTHEGUNSHAVESTOPPED

RECOVERINGFROMVIOLENTCONFLICT.......................43


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HOWDOWESTANDFORTHEVOICESOFTHOUSANDS

OF

SURVIVORS

WHO

LONGFORABETTERWAY? HOWDOWETELLTHEIR STORIES OF HORROR,HEALINGANDHOPE? HOWDOWEHONORTHEIR COURAGE WITHOUT EXPLOITINGTHEIRSUFFERING? ANDTHENWHEREDO

THESTORIESBEGIN? ISIT1993 WHENTHE

CRISIS

BEGAN

OR

IS

IT

BEFORE

THAT

,WHENINDEPENDENCEWASGAINEDFROMCOLONIALPOWERS? WASITWHENTHEYWERECOLONIZED? OR, DOTHESTORIESBEGINAFTERTHEGUNSHAVESTOPPED?

For three weeks we met in shadowed roomsof churches, community centers and meetinghalls gathering stories, collecting snapshotsof tragedy and trauma. Together we steppedcautiously into the Light, seeking healing andhope. We met cultivators, pastors, teachers,healers, artists, sisters, fathers, brothers, andmothers. We met community leaders, politicalactivists, refugees, former soldiers andpolicemen. We met peacemakers,

Pentecostals, Friends, Catholics; we met Tutsi,Hutu, Twa. These are their stories, their words,their dreams, and their discoveries. With theirlessons for us to learn and grow from, theyare here to join the world community. Inreturn, they ask us for prayers of support, tounderstand the pain and poverty of war, toshare their stories with others and to standwith them, never forgetting to practice peace.

The genocide in Rwanda and the Crisis (asthe Burundians call it) in Burundi did not justhappen in April 1994 and October 1993. Thecurrent violent conflict began in 1959, threeyears before independence, with theencouragement of the Belgian colonial power.Politicians used the ethnic divide as a methodto consolidate power and to control the entirepopulation. When a government began to losepower and support, a new round of violence

INTRODUCTION

would occur to keep the ruling ethnic groupin powerin Burundi this was the Tutsi whilein Rwanda it was the Hutu (Niyongabo,Zarembka, 2004).

As the years passed Burundi has experiencedwaves of violence and a series of bloodypolitical coups. Each year brought uncertaintyas new political movements surged for powerand grasped for it by violent means. The Crisis

of October 1993 was another round in theseemingly endless cycle of violence. But in1993 political conflict fueled mass murders ofschool children in Kibimba and sparked revengekillings that perpetuated a mass movementof neighbor killing neighbor. Systematically,community and family were destroyed.

A recent study conducted by Peter Yeomansexamines the frequency of traumatic eventsexperienced by Burundians beginning in 1993during the Crisis and the impact of HROC onPosttraumatic Stress Disorder symptoms(2005), (see summary of the report on page). One hundred percent of those he interviewedhad experienced an active combat situation,78.2 percent reported narrowly escapingdeath, and 91 percent had lost personalproperty through banditry or fire. 11.5 percentreported being raped while over 20 percent

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of the participants reported having had towitness a rape. All of those interviewed wereforced to hide at one point in the forest toescape fighting or death and of those, 12.8percent were forced to hide among the dead.Over 16 percent were forced to harm or kill astranger while over 11 percent were forced toharm or kill a family member (Yeomans,2005).

Given such widespread exposure to andparticipation in the violence that worked todestroy any semblance of family andcommunity how do we work to bring peopleback together? What can rebuild the trust?Healing and Rebuilding Our Community(HROC) works through encounter workshops

to rebuild the lives, families and communitiesthat have been destroyed. Each three-dayHROC (pronounced He-rock) workshopbrings ten Hutu and ten Tutsi participants fromBurundi together, usually for the first time inyears.

The first day of each workshop is intentionallystructured to develop a secure environmentwhere everyone can feel free to talk. Thisenvironment is created through a series of

group exercises that begin to build trust. Thereis an introduction to psycho-social trauma (anew concept to most of the participants), apresentation on the causes and symptoms oftrauma, followed by small-group discussionson the effects of trauma on the participants,and, a closing relaxation exercise. On thesecond day, participants learn a variety oflistening skills, and talk about grief and loss,how to recover from trauma, and destructive

and constructive ways of dealing with anger.The third day brings introductions a tree of

mistrust and a tree of trust, which leads toa trust walk where each Hutu participant isblindfolded and led around by a Tutsiparticipant, and then vice versa. Eachworkshop ends with individual testimonialsand evaluation (Niyongabo, Zarembka, 2004).

In order to discover how HROC helpscommunities heal we began with a simplequestion: how is the Healing and RebuildingOur Communities (HROC) program impactingcommunities in Burundi? We soon discoveredthere are no simple answers. With a series ofcarefully worded questions in hand, tidy paperforms to be completed and the mindset ofresearchers ready to begin, we sat with ourfirst interviewee eager for the answer. We were

not prepared for the quiet eloquence of thenatural storyteller, the conviction of someonewho has witnessed a powerful transformationnor the deep insight that only reflection andpersistent questioning can bring. We came withthe intention to report on a programs impactbut we left with the simple gifts of love,forgiveness and wisdom. It is these gifts webring to you.

Let us acquaint you with those who have

shared their courage, pain and hope with us.We are grateful to them for their willingnessand their candor. All have agreed to sharetheir names, stories and photographs withyou. We regret that in these pages we cannotshare all 41 stories or the endless stories thatwe have yet to gather. We have chosen toshare complete narratives instead ofcomposites of multiple characters. These aretheir stories as told to us; these are their

words.

Let us acquaint you with those who have shared their courage,pain and hope with us. We are grateful to them for their willingnessand their candor.

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CIZACONSILE

When facilitators were making arrangementsfor us to interview community members,Consile agreed to speak with us even thoughshe had not yet attended a HROC workshop.

Like so many of her fellow Burundians,Consiles is a story of the horror of war whichillustrates why the workshops are so necessaryfor those who have endured traumaticexperiences. After meeting Consile we werehonored to have been given the offering ofher presence and her story. She walked overthree hours one way to speak with us.

Consile is 45 years old. She lives near Cagura,alone. Six of her eight children are living; one

was killed during the war and another hasdied since from malaria. Her oldest is 24 yearsold and her youngest is 11. Consile told usthat her children have chosen to live on thestreets, begging, as opposed to remaininghome with her. She bowed her head and toldus she felt much shame that her children wouldleave her. Her husband was killed during thewar and she is unable to raise enough food

for herself. During the war she was forced toflee into the bush many times with herchildren, hoping to avoid more attacks.

First, when the war began, I went to mymothers home. It was difficult to return toher home because there were many peoplewho were angry and killing others. I spentthree days in the forest so I decided to gohome to my husband. Later, I heard that thepeople (Tutsis) from the Internally DisplacedPersons camp, came and killed my motherand then they burned her body. I loved hervery much.

When I returned back home during the war,people from the camp (Tutsis) took myhusband and my oldest son and began to beatthem before my very eyes. When they carriedthem away in the crowd I did not know ifthey still lived. After two days, I heard thatthey had been killed. It was very difficult forme to realize their death. I couldnt understandwhy they had been killed. Some people had

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said they were first taken to Ngozi, to the

prison. So I tried to take food to them. Butbefore I could go, someone came to me andsaid, dont go, they are dead. This was in1995. That was the second horrible thing thathappened to me.

After that, I went to stay with my mother-in-law. We were trying to find food for mychildren. Then more people from the campscame and they killed her before my eyes. Iescaped but I lost four people in one year.

The people came after me and wanted to killme, others came wanting to replace myhusband.

One day I was alone at home and a big manfrom the camp came. He beat me and he rapedme. It was very bad. He told me, If you tellanyone I will kill you. From that day I havetold no one what happened to me. You arethe first people I have told of the rape. Fromthat day, I asked myself, Why has thishappened to me? I dont understand whythis happened. Sometimes I think I shouldsee a doctor. I dont want to go to a clinicbecause I am afraid people will talk and shameme. I am afraid though that I am very sick,maybe AIDS. The rape was ten years ago andI am not well.

Consile told us repeatedly that she wasashamed of being raped. We sat with her

assuring her that she did nothing wrong andthat it took much strength for her to surviveand continue to live. She told us she hassuffered severe health problems since the rapeand has been unable to receive good medicaltreatment. I have told no one of the rapeuntil today. But when I visited the nurse forphysical problems I am having I bleed a lot- she tells me I should get a husband and that

would fix my problems. Since the rape I do

not want another husband. There are noindividual counseling services and very fewmedical services available to Consile in herrural village.

After the rape, I fled into the bush. I wasafraid to be at home. Until the rape, mychildren were with me and I tried to take careof them. My oldest was in the ninth grade buthe got sick and could not continue. I hopedafter finishing his studies he would be able to

help me and his brothers and sisters. But hegot sick and now he cannot see; he is blind. Ihave no money to help him.

After returning from the bush, I discoveredmy home was destroyed. I try to rebuild itmyself but as a woman it is very difficult.Because of the poverty I have no food and nomoney to rebuild. I am tired and have muchstress. My children have left me to becomestreet children. They say they prefer the streetsto living with me. I am sad because I knowmy neighbors laugh at me.

As she retold her life events she was soft-spoken, her head bowed seeminglyembarrassed, but she never faltered in thetelling, and never cried. When Consile finishedsharing her story we sat holding hands insilence. We mourned with her all the loss shehas experienced and in the end it felt like it

was not enough. Yet she thanked us with deepsincerity for the opportunity to speak with us,to share her story with others. We told Consilethat with her permission we would like toshare her story with friends in America andEurope. We asked her if there was a specialmessage that she would like us to pass on toyou. Here is what she said:

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Our country has experienced many badthings. And now we dont hear the guns, butwe have no trust. It is difficult to live in peacewith someone who killed your husband, who

raped you. Today we face poverty and all ofthe consequences of war. Pray for us so thatour country may become a good countryagain. Remember us. Continue to help us andbe near us, care about us.

I tell you my stories for the first time. I have

not told the truth to my neighbors or anyoneas it is because I do not trust them. We needpeople to be near us who we can trust to shareour experiences so we can heal as a country.Please continue to pray for me. I dont wantanother husband. I want to live in peace andI want my children home.

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ANNASANDIDGE

I sat in the small guest house in the center ofBujumbura, the capital of Burundi waiting formy visa to be approved before I could headback up-country to Kibimba where I had beenliving and working for the past month. Thepower was out again and the main room waswashed in candle-light. A man entered andpolitely asked to join me. We exchangedpleasantries and he sat across the table fromme, his English impeccable. I was relieved at

the hope of not having to stumble throughmy awkward French.

He was a small man, near five foot five,approaching his mid fifties. His face was notcreased with age but with the burdens andmemories of a life no one should have toimagine. His wire-rimmed spectacles satpinched low on his nose and his curly grayinghair rose in powdery tufts around his crown.Gentleness poured from him yet his shoulders

were noticeably stooped from a burden longcarried.

Samuel was a teacher at the secondary schoolin Kibimba before the crisis. In 1993, 79 youngTutsi students were taken to a local gas stationby Hutu rebels. The young children werelocked inside and burned to death theinfamous holocaust of Kibimba. In 1993, afterthe killings of the students, the soldiers cameto kill him, his wife and his children. They allfled into the bush; their house was destroyed

and soldiers were systematically hunting forSamuel and his family. He paused in his tellingand took a deep breath. And so his flightbegan. His family chose to seek shelter withother family members and begged Samuel toseek safety in Nairobi, Kenya. He told me he

was arrested repeatedly during his exodus butsomehow, God freed him each time.

Once during his flight Samuel was arrestedby soldiers on the road, marched at gun-point,and ordered to dig a mass grave where heand other prisoners were forced to bury over100 bodies of women and children who hadbeen lying there for over two weeks. At onepoint a soldier gleefully shot a mother through

her breast to kill the baby at her back. Shehad been lying there for two weeks and was

COMING HOME

The tears never fell as he talked; they remained restrained, heldback by pride, shame, and sadness so deep I will never be able tounderstand its depths. He repeatedly thanked God for sparing himand in the same breath exclaimed he should be dead.

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not yet dead but he killed her and the baby.

The tears never fell as he talked; they remainedrestrained, held back by pride, shame, andsadness so deep I will never be able tounderstand its depths. He repeatedly thankedGod for sparing him and in the same breathexclaimed he should be dead. But throughthe kindness of strangers, a soldier turninghis head in time for Samuel to flee down theroad to Bujumbura, another stranger helpedhim make it on one of the last buses to Nairobiwhere he finally arrived to find a small tasteof freedom, Samuel is saved. In Nairobi, helived for the next two years wondering if hiswife and children had lived. Miraculously theysurvived. In the following two years they made

it to Nairobi where they have been living forthe past ten years.

Samuel tells me has returned home; he wantsto rebuild his life in Burundi. Weeks later wemeet on a dusty road in Kibimba as he surveysthe remains of his family home. He saw me,smiled, and greeted me with a hug and ablessing. Turning back to his home he said,

It is time to come home. He grasped my

hand and unashamedly, this time, the tearsfell and together we stood in silence, handsclasped, looking at his home.

My work that trip took me away from Kibimba,back to Bujumbura and later on an excursionto Rwanda. In mid August, when I was at theRwanda-Burundi border waiting forpermission to cross back into Burundi I wasspeaking with a Rwandan physician. As ourconversation turned to security threats andrecent rebel attacks, I spied a familiar faceout of the corner of my eye. I begged mycompanion to forgive me as I went to meetSamuel.

We greeted one another warmly and marveled

at Gods timing of placing us at the bordercrossing at the same time. After havingtraveled on little money and a lot of faithSamuel had seen his old home-place, visitedfamily long missed and was returning toNairobi where his wife and children lived. Hewas leaving Burundi, returning to Nairobi tobring his family home. My heart is ready forpeace, ready to forgive, he said. I want tocome home.

NAHINKUYENESTOR

Nestor is 45 and lives in the communityaround Kibimba. He and his family fled toTanzania in 1996 during the second majoroutbreak of violence. The father of fivechildren, his oldest is thirteen and his youngestis three years, he has worked as a subsistence

farmer or cultivator all his life. On the 7

th

ofSeptember, 2005 he had just returned fromliving in a refugee camp in Tanzania with hiswife and children.

Before the war, and before we left for Tanzania,I saw my relatives being killed. So I decidedto flee to Tanzania. I had two very smallchildren. I carried one on my back and mywife carried our other child on her back. The

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trip took us two weeks walking. We walkedmostly at night and hid in the bush duringthe day to sleep, hiding from soldiers whowanted to kill us.

When we reached Tanzania I had muchsadness and saw bad things. There was acamp for us but it was like a prison. When wetried to leave to find food or work we werebeaten by Tanzanian policemen. When I sawthese things I knew it would be very difficultfor us to stay. I wanted my family to leavebut then if you go you find home is no longersafe either. At the camps there were many

guns and there were thieves who could comeand kill you in the night. We run from guns ofhome only to find more guns.

When we finally decided the camps were toodangerous we registered with UNHCR (UnitedNations High Commission for Refugees) tocome home to Burundi. It took us two yearsbefore they would release us to go home.Now that we are finally back in Burundi it isdifficult. We live with my mother-in-law. My

proper house has been destroyed. I feel like Iam living in the middle.

Nestor had not attended the HROC workshopbut had heard about it from communitymembers. I have not seen changes in mycommunity but then I have been home for avery short time. I have experienced many badthings. I come home to find the house of myfather destroyed. I want to go back toTanzania; I dont feel safe here. But thenTanzania is not safe either. I want to feel safe.

Nestor, sits silently for a moment his headbowed, hands clasped tightly in his lap. Heraise his eyes and looks questioningly at us.

This HROC sounds like a good thing. I would

very much like to attend, meet other peoplewho have experienced bad things. I think itcould help. We smiled encouragingly andassured him we would try to makearrangements for him to attend the nextavailable workshop, and, as we wrapped upthe interview, parting with thanks and hand-shakes he turned at the door and asked, Is itpossible, he paused, shook his head andcontinued, is it possible to heal, to have hopeagain with this HROC? Theoneste, follows

him out the door and with heads bent togetherTheo shares his own stories of hope.

BIZIMANA THEONESTE

My name is Theoneste BIZIMANA. I was bornin 1981 in the western province. I am not yetmarried but if God blesses me I can do that in2008. In our family I am the second child intwo. My father died when my brother and Iwere two young babies. I dont even knowhis image, which makes me sometimes feelbadly! After the death of my father, as shewas still young, my mammy decided to leaveus and find another husband. She took me toher parents and my brother stayed with ourfathers mother. I was 6 months old and mybrother was one and a half.

I come home to find the house of my father destroyed. I want togo back to Tanzania; I dont feel safe here. But then Tanzania isnot safe either. I want to feel safe.

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By the will of God we grew from thereseparately. When I was 8 years old I was forcedto return back to my fathers family. That isour culture: a child is for his fathers family. Istayed with my grandmother. She helped withmy primary studies, and for my secondarystudies I found another person to help mebecause she was not able. In 2002 I had

finished the secondary school. Today I am atUniversity and this is my third year. I amstudying sociology. Since 2003 I have beenworking with HROC Rwanda and I like thiswork because it has helped in my healing fromtrauma.

Before attending the HROC workshop I wastoo sad. I could not trust any person becauseI had heard that my father died of poisonand from that time I hated people. When Iremembered my difficult childhood, I feltangry! I was asking myself how I could justfind the person who killed my father or hisrelatives for revenge! I had many badthoughts and no person could know that! Butafter attending the workshop, it was like thekey of healing and hope to me!! During theworkshop we shared our histories and for meit was hard just to open up and talk! Iremember one day we were in the gathering

time and Adrien Niyongabo was the facilitator.He asked us to share a good thing weremember that our mother had done for us. Iremembered that we had been separated fromher when I was a very young baby!! I startedto cry and after 10 minutes I spoke out. Fromthat day I felt rested and happy. By hearingothers stories I saw that others suffered more

than me, and I felt my pain decrease!

After that, I decided to become a facilitatorto help others during the workshops and evenafter. I listen to them. In order to help myself,I find another person like Laura Shipler Chicoand others to listen to me. And Anna hasbeen an important person to me during thework in Burundi too. In 2004 I also becamean AVP facilitator. Now I am the coordinatorof HROC in Rwanda.

Through HROC I see some changes in thecommunity. For example you can see asurvivor of genocide and a released prisoneras close friends, after just attending theworkshop but before, they couldnt even greetone another. Because of that I wish to seeHROC moving wherever in the world it canhelp. Especially in our Great Lakes region, Isee it can help in peace and in our healing

process.

By hearing others stories I saw that others suffered... I felt mypain decrease!

UKWIGIZEANOTOLIEAnotolie is a 60 year old woman living in the

Mutaho Internally Displaced Persons (IDP)camp. She has been living in the camp forover ten years now with her nine children.Her youngest is 15 years old and her oldestis 40 and lives with his children in the campas well. Anotolie is a cultivator. She told us itwas very difficult to feed her family duringthe war because her plot was so far from thecamp and many community members wouldharvest her food before she could tend to it.

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Anotolie has attended the HROC workshop inMutaho.

The life we have is difficult. Where we cultivate,it takes two and half hours walk to reach ourplots; the harvest is not enough to feed ourchildren. Sometimes I leave the house at 6:30in the morning and work until 2:00 in theafternoon and dont make it home until earlyevening. I am tired but there is still more workto do at home.

During the war certain people came to myhome and took my husband to the river. Theycut him in two bodies with machetes - Huturebels. The children left home and fled to theIDP camp. My brother was a priest so I decided

to stay with him. Later my brother was shotby Hutu rebels and I was forced to flee to thecamp as well.

We asked Anotolie to share with us herexperiences and feelings of HROC and howshe is able to use what she has learned in theworkshop in her life at the camp and in copingwith witnessing the death of her husband andbrother.

As the war began I became a Christian. A fewdays later they (Hutu rebels) took my husbandand kil led him. I asked God why thishappened. I got no answer but I asked Godto protect my children and he did. The relativesof those who killed my husband came andprotected me. And even though I lost myhusband, the hand of God protected me and

my children. Since my childhood, I have neverseen a person killed until that day.

I was very happy to receive an invitation toattend the workshop. I remember the treesof mistrust and trust from our lessons. I havefound the tree of mistrust only gives badfruits. But the tree of trust gives good fruits.The bad tree symbolizes the bad that peopledo and you have to find them and help themplant the good tree in their hearts. I realizethe teachings are powerful. The people wholearn this are wise because it is the healing ofa traumatized people.

Its hard to build the full trust. We see peoplein the community now and they give us water

but still our harvests are sometimes stolen.There are thieves so there is still a deep lackof trust. It is difficult because we live so farfrom our plots. If we ask someone to guardour plots they ask for all of our food seethere is not enough trust.

Just after I returned from the workshop Ireturned to the camp. I tried to talk to peopleat the camp, to get my relatives to forgivethose who have hurt us. I always talk of

reconciliation to people. I tell them thatseparation does not come from God. In theworkshop, we were from different ethnicgroups. I appreciate the way the facilitatorsmixed the groups. You have a person fromthe camp sitting with a community memberand now when we pass on the road we meetand greet one another.

I was very happy to receive an invitation to attend the workshop. Iremember the trees of mistrust and trust from our lessons. I have foundthe tree of mistrust only gives bad fruits. But the tree of trust gives goodfruits. The bad tree symbolizes the bad that people do and you have to findthem and help them plant the good tree in their hearts. I realize theteachings are powerful. The people who learn this are wise because it isthe healing of a traumatized people.

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If it is possible, we need these teachings inthe whole community. There are people whoare broken, lost and truly traumatized. Somepeople see the people who killed their relatives,this is very hard. Those who killed cannottrust enough to ask for forgiveness, just asthose who have attended HROC now havethe spirit to forgive.

Some of us went to Gitega prison to visitpeople who killed our families. We collected

money and things [for the prisoners]. Wegathered food to share. There was singingand dancing, it was good. But some peopleare not ready for that. The people at the prisonappreciated our meeting them and many havebeen released to the communities. I see thereis a good tree and a bad tree in us. For somethey are so broken they can only grow a badtree. They need this training.

People in the camps, they hear thegovernment wants to close the camps. Weknow it is too soon to return to the community.There are too many people who cannot trust.I think HROC can help them trust so we cango home.

Anotolie spoke of a desire to have onecommunity with no distinctions betweenpeople who lived in the community and thosewho lived in the camps. She told us that while

she sees progress, people willing to speak toothers and a coming together of HROCparticipants in the Mutaho area, there is still alot of work to do. She emphasized many timesthat she felt when more people learned abouttrust, trauma, and healing then the dividedcommunities could become one.

Some of us went to Gitega prison to visit people who killed our families.We collected money and things [for the prisoners]. We gathered food toshare. There was singing and dancing, it was good. But some people are

not ready for that. The people at the prison appreciated our meetingthem and many have been released to the communities. I see there is agood tree and a bad tree in us. For some they are so broken they canonly grow a bad tree. They need this training.

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SINZOTUMACHRISTOPHE

Christophe is 46 years old, the father of sevenchildren. His oldest is 26 and his youngestdied at 6 from malaria in the refugee camp inTanzania where he and his family lived forover eight years. They have been in Mutaho

for the last six months where he is supportinghis family as a cultivator. Before the warChristophe worked as a building contractor.He has been unable to find work since hisreturn. He had never attended HROC but wasinterested in attending the next availableworkshop in his community.

I remember 93 when the president was killedand the war began. People began to kill eachother. We were hiding in the forest for threeyears. It was difficult; my father was killed.Burundi was no longer a country for my familyto live in. So we went to Tanzania to live. Igot sick in the camp and my youngest boydied in the camps. We had no food and nomedicine. I heard in 2005 that the peace hadstarted again in Burundi, so we came home.We have been here for nine months.

Christophe asked us many questions about

HROC and the purpose of the workshops.Theoneste explained the purpose and processof each workshop.

I think this can help. We are living together incommunity. Some people left our homes togo to the camps. If HROC brings peopletogether and helps them move home thenthat can rebuild the trust. If the people stay inthe camps we wont have a sustainable peace.I think it better for them to show unity that

will build a peace.

We asked Christophe if there was a specific

message to people in Europe and Americathat he would like us to pass along. Here ishis response:

First of all I thank God because he protectedme and truly we as people from the communityare beginning to live together. We see division

comes from high authorities. If they dontdivide us we can live in community with noproblems. I was afraid when I saw my fatherkilled, so I fled. I didnt do anything wrong Iwas just afraid.

I hope with our new president we will cometogether. Our country has experienced manybad things but I believe with God we can livewithout guns and killing. Through yourprayers remember us in our poverty and

illness. After the war God can help bring uspeace, bring us development. Remember usin your prayers.

We as people from the community are beginning to live together. Wesee division comes from high authorities. If they dont divide us, wecan live in community with no problems.

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MPAWENAYODENNIS

Dennis is 25 years old. He is married withtwo children, a 3 year old and a 3 month old,both girls. He and his wife met and marriedin the refugee camp in Tanzania. They haveadopted Dennis 16 year old nephew who was

orphaned by the war. No other familymembers were able to take him in. Dennishas lived in refugee camps twice, first in 1996.In 2000, he went home only to find heavyfighting and retreated again to Tanzania.Dennis returned to Burundi in 2003 with hiswife. He works as a cultivator but would liketo find other work. Dennis has participated inthe HROC workshop in Ruyigi.

I remember when the war began this was theprovince of rebel fighters. This area was verydangerous. After going to Tanzania we foundlife very difficult. When we returned the firsttime we heard things were safer but then itbecame more dangerous than before whenwe fled. We heard bigger guns, more bombsand more fighting. So we fled back to Tanzaniaand remained until the peace agreement hadbegun.

Life in a camp is difficult. You are not free.They have sharp wired fences so you cannotleave. They dont give you enough food. Youcannot find clothes. You eat one meal a day.Sometimes the food they would give us wouldbe bad and it would make us very sick. Eventhough we were not allowed to leave the campsometimes we could sneak out into the forestto try to find food for our families.

We asked Dennis to share with us his

experiences and impressions of the HROCworkshop he had attended in March of 2005.We also asked him if HROC had been helpfulto him or anyone in the community. Weinquired how HROC was similar to Burundianculture and how that helped him practice whathe had learned in the workshops. He smiledat us, shifted in his seat and didnt pause totake a breath.

When I got the invitation to attend I didntunderstand what I was going to attend. Butafterward when I got there I was really happybecause I understood that I had experiencedmuch trauma. I have experienced bad things.

As a young boy I was preparing to get marriedbut my house was burned and I saw manypeople dying and being killed.

But in HROC we began talking about the causesof trauma. I saw I had symptoms from thetrauma I had seen and experienced. Seeingthe causes of trauma in the workshop I sawmany of my symptoms were the same as thosecaused by trauma. Now that I know mysymptoms I also try to help others see themin their selves. To help a person who has beentraumatized, we must show them the lovebecause they have lost their identity and otherpeople may see him or her as mad or crazy.But if you show them love then they can sharethe bad things they have experienced withyou. You share in that, you just listen to himand maybe you can tell him how even thoughbad things happen there is hope to heal.

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Before attending I just lived with others. It washard and if someone did something to make meangry or upset I would fight with them. But after

discovering the reasons for my anger I discoveredhow to deal with my behavior. I know the reasonsfor my anger and I can do things differently.

In Burundi culture, when someone has a problemyou help him physically. If you have some food youshare, if you have extra clothes you give them tosomeone. But it is difficult to help people who aresuffering from the consequences of war who needmore than physical things. Sharing the love andbeing a listener is helpful and difficult but then that

doesnt meet all their needs. They are still hungryand isnt that trauma? Sometimes it is difficult toheal from the consequences of war when yourtrauma from the war continues in your daily life.

The ears which are hungry cannot hear.

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What is my vision for HROC? In this provincewe have been greatly affected by the war. Iwish to have HROC teachings in all the villagesand in the countryside. There are some whostill have the spirit of revenge because theydont know the causes of their anger and hate.HROC can help them see their hidden self.

My message to the USA and to Europe: First,

me, I personally thank you for supportingHROC. Through HROC I have discoveredmyself and have decided to continue with life.By supporting HROC, these teachings do notstay in one place but go to other places. Ifthese teachings reach others I think, as acountry that has been at war, it will help bringreconciliation and peace.


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BUFIRIKA DEOGRATIAS

Deo is 56 years old and lives in the MutahoInternally Displaced Persons camp with hiswife and younger children. He is the father often children though one has died due to illness.His oldest is 35 and lives in the capital city,Bujumbura. His youngest is 13 years old. Deosupports his family as a subsistence farmer.He has not attended the HROC workshop butwas able to attend the Alternatives to Violencetraining in his community. He is very familiar

with HROC and knows several HROCparticipants. He told us he hopes to attendthe next available HROC workshop.

We asked him to share his experiences of livingin the IDP camp and his life during the Crisis.Deo explained his impressions of how theconflict began. He was very candid in hisobservations. He also broke the stereotypethat only Tutsis were living in the IDP camps.He is Hutu and belonged to the UPRONA party

which was a minority political party andpredominantly Tutsi. We share his greatinsights into community and HROCsparticipation in bringing people together toillustrate the complexity of Burundis conflict.

The good thing about living in the camp isthere is no fear. However, it is far to cultivate.[People who live in the IDP camps walk hoursto their gardesn which are their only sourcesof food.]To find food is difficult. The life inthe camp is difficult. You stay in a small placeand you dont feel free. In the camp, we allcome from different places. We dont knowone another. It is sad; there is no life in thecamp.

When the war began, it was a conflict betweenpolitical parties. I was a member of theUPRONA party and the president belonged to

CHANGINGLIVES

FRODEBU. After his death, they accused myparty of killing him. From that day they couldnot separate a persons ethnic group from thepolitical parties. I am Hutu and I live in thecamp. It is not only for Tutsis. Many people

from the minority party live in the camps.Many times they (Hutu rebels) tried to kill mebecause I belong to UPRONA party. Myrelatives say to me, You are no longer Hutu.You are Tutsi because you joined that party.My wife is also a Tutsi.

Now the war is not yet over. Maybe the gunshave stopped but the bad thoughts and angryfeelings are still here among us. Even thoughI havent attended HROC I would like to. Ihave attended a conflict resolution workshop,

AVP (Alternatives to Violence Project). I thinkeven those people can still have bad thoughts.Those bad things started with political parties.Some people say they have the political powertoday. That means that your party has nopower so it makes you feel bad. This is notgood, it divides us. HROC teachings bringpeople together slowly, slowly.

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Now HROC can only invite a few people ineach place. They can only invite a few peoplefrom the community, the camps and returningfrom Tanzania. But if you are only a few amongmany how do you change them? It wouldhelp if we had many who were trained. If wehad more HROC, people would begin torealize that our bad experiences are not our

whole lives. We can have peace.

We asked Deo if he would like to send apersonal message to friends in America andEurope. Here is his message:

You Americans continue to think about us.Maybe you can influence our leaders and

government who imposed on us these badthings. If you start by teaching them peaceand reconciliation then it will come down tothe communities and we will not see war again.

Also, we need help to rebuild ourcommunities and to rebuild the trust so ourchildren can have a good future. We live in

small places so when we get angry where canwe go? We must all learn to deal with ouranger. Now we dont trust each other, so weneed to rebuild the trust. We need good leaderswho can help us rebuild the trust. Rememberus; remember our country is trying to get outof war.

NDAYIZEYEAGNES

Agnes is 25 years old and lives in the Mutahoarea with her mother and six siblings. She isthe oldest of the family. She has studied

agriculture in secondary school and would liketo study at university. Agnes was very youngwhen the crisis began in 1993 but rememberssubsequent years of war and a constantmilitary presence in her home community. Sheshared with us fond memories of her fatherand his great work as a peacemaker. Hermother has attended HROC workshops andlater became a HROC facilitator for the Mutaho

area. We asked Agnes to share some of herexperiences of the war.

We were here on the road and during the warwe had seen many soldiers. It was five yearsago. We were near them laughing, playing.But then within a few hours they (communitymembers) came with machetes and guns andthey were coming to fight the soldiers. They(the community members) began to burntrees and our fence to our home. The soldierswere not coming to do anything bad.

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We decided to get away but it was difficultbecause the trees were on fire. We tried to godown the road but it was full of soldiers. Whenwe finally got home my family took us intothe bush, we took refuge for two months.When we returned we found all of our thingsstolen and our house burned. The church gaveus a house to live in.

Once, when we were home during the warmy sister and I were accompanying a friend.We met two people on the road. They wererebel (Hutus) who had taken much drugs.They wanted to greet us. I was afraid becauseI thought they would rape and kill us. So weran and they chased us. My sister ran awayfrom me and one of the men ran behind me.I lost my shoes and I was afraid Id be raped.

He grabbed me and I cried out. He said hewould let me go but that he would come backfor me. My sister got away and we finally metat home. Neither of us could understand whythat happened. Later, when we would seethese men in the community we would bescared and they would look shamed.

We asked Agnes to share her memories ofher mothers involvement in HROC and if shehad seen any differences in her mother. Agnes

lost her father, whom she loved very much,to illness. She spoke often of how difficultthis was for her. She said her mother wasreally able to help her and her siblings throughthe grieving of their father because of hertraining in HROC.

My mom has helped much. HROC has helpedmy mother and me with the death of my

father. I was at school when I heard he haddied. I loved him very much. It was so veryfar for me to walk. But when I got home mymother stayed near me and comforted me.She encouraged me to go back to school. Shehas used the teachings of HROC to help uswith his death.

I have seen a change in her from the day sheattended the workshop. She shared with uswhat she has learned. She talks to us aboutour fathers death. She has a big photo of himin her room and she talks to us of the gooddays with him. Some days we go to where heis buried and we cry together and we feelbetter. I know some of the people whoattended HROC came to comfort us when welost my dear father. I see a difference in her.

She is able to go to others who are mourningand comfort them as well.

When the war began, my father hid people inour home. People were trying to kill himbecause of his tribe and because he washelping people from the other tribe. I dontunderstand the differences. At school we alllive together. I dont see a difference. I dontunderstand why there was a difference.

She, like so many other young men andwomen, has lived her childhood in war withall the memories and fears that are buried init. Like so many others we interviewed, sheexpressed disbelief that such tragedy couldhappen. Agnes wants to see Burundi moveforward but she also wants to understand howneighbor could kill neighbor.

When the war began, my father hid people in our home. People weretrying to kill him because of his tribe and because he was helpingpeople form the other tribe. I dont understand the differences. Atschool we all live together. I dont see a difference.

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GAKOBWASARA

Sara is 55 years old and lives in the Mutahocommunity. She is the mother of Agnes andsix other children and also has adopted twochildren. She is a widow, having lost herhusband to a sudden illness. A teacher at thecommune primary school and a pastor forthe Friends church, Sara is a trained HROCfacilitator and organizes local widows formonthly meetings and support groups. Saraalso helped organize a visit to Gitega prisonwhere HROC participants met with thoseaccused of participating in the violence to sharefood and to talk of healing and forgiveness.

While working in Mutaho, Sara opened herhome to host us for lunch sharing deliciousmeals with us. Our conversations were lightand playful. She has a beautiful smile andholds herself with great confidence andsecurity. As she began to tell her story therewas a dramatic and extreme contrast. Her voicedropped to a whisper and we sat in hunchedconversation as her life unfolded before us,highlighting her fear of bringing some thingsinto light.

Before the war, my family was Hutu but wehad neighbors who were Tutsi. My husbandwas a pastor and there was a clerk who wasTutsi in the same church. When the war startedwe heard all the Tutsi were being killed. Somy husband went to the clerk and offered tohide him. The clerk said, No let me die. Theymay come to kill me but I didnt do anythingwrong. My husband became very angry and

took the clerk by force to the missionaryshouse and we kept him in the house to besafe.

Those who were coming to kill him reachedour home and demanded my husband showthem the Tutsi man. Then my husband yelledto them, If you want to kill him start withus! Truly God did work there because theyleft us. Because the clerks Tutsi wife and

children were afraid and it was dangerous forthem, we brought the clerk food and water. Iremember that period was very dangerousand people were coming again to find theTutsi man. We had to take him to a safer place.So we got the man and together we left withmany others who were fleeing to safety.

After two months we returned to here whileother community members were fleeing. Thesoldiers asked everyone, Why do you flee?See the pastor is staying with his family. It issafe here. Slowly, slowly the peace hadstarted.

We asked Sara what had become of the manthat they had risked their lives to hide. She

shook her head and said, Finally, he was killedat Burasira with many others. His wife andchildren are still alive and live in thiscommunity. We are friends to this day. Weasked Sara to describe both her firstexperiences of HROC and how her work as aHROC facilitator impacts her work and life.We asked her how she coped with hearingothers trauma and what she did to care forherself and in turn care for others.

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Before the war I was with my wife and it was

a time when God was blessing us, the lifewas not difficult or expensive. As we had morechildren it became more difficult but it wasnot bad. In October of 1993, when the Crisisbegan, I was working at another church awayfrom my home, helping them build. I heardthe president had been killed. I left there togo home. On the way to my home I was metby many problems. I met people who werecutting down trees to close the road to stoppeople from fleeing. They wanted me to help

them. I told them I had walked many milesand was too tired, that I was going to myfamily.

When I finally reached my home, my manyneighbors who were Tutsi were there andthere were people from the community thereto kill them too. They said they were going tokill them because they were Tutsis and theywere the ones who killed the president. All ofus left my home and we ran. Even at the placeswe fled, the people wanted to kill them becausethey were Tutsi. I told the people who wantedto kill them that the Bible says do not kill oryou will die. This made them so angry thatthey tried to kill me too. They beat me but Igot away. I made it back home.

There were only women and children left inthe community because they took all the men.Later I heard that all the men had been killed.

There were over fourteen families that lostmen, they were never the same. They stayedin my home for over two months. After thetwo months I learned there were camps forthem. So I prepared to take them to the camps.We could not all go at once so I took the firstfamilies. We passed with no problems so Iand one other of them returned to my hometo get the rest of them.

Before the last group left my home, Hutus

came back to kill them. We locked up myhouse as they came to us. I told them to killme first and only then could they kill the otherpeople inside. They told me today was mylast day, that they would kill me. I prayed forGod to help me. There were three little boyshiding under the bed in my room. And Iopened the door to meet the crowd. Theysearched my home and found the three boyshiding under the bed. They demanded that Ikill the boys with my own hands. I raised my

hands and said, In the name of God I wouldnot kill and if you raise your hands against usthen you too will be killed.

This made them very angry and theydemanded me pay them 6000 Burundianfrancs [$6]so that they would not kill any ofus. The men in the house went back to thecrowd outside and said that I was not hidinganyone and that they should go to the nexthouse. But after this crowd left another groupcame for us. We were able to flee into thebush and I hid the boys in the bush near myhome. When this group searched my homeand found it empty they became angry andburned all the trees and bush around myhome. They came back to burn my house butby the grace of God they did not.

I found the Tutsi boys who were hiding andgot them to another province during the night.

When we finally heard they had relativesnearby we heard people beating on drumsand chanting, Here are Tutsicome and killthem. We found the first group of familieswho had left my home for the camps by theriver. They had all been killed. So we ran againback to my home.

They demanded that I kill the boys with my own hands. I raisedmy hands and said, In the name of God, I would not kill and if

you raise your hands against us then you too will be killed.

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In my sector, the commune leader attendedthe same church as I. I asked him to help meprotect these people I was hiding. He wrote aletter stating that anyone who killed anotherperson would be tried as a murderer andwould go to prison. When the next groupcame to my home I showed them the lettersigned by the coordinator of the district andthey left without harming us. So the Tutsisstayed with me until I could safely walk themto the camps for protection. These people alllived.

After the crisis, because many people heardabout what I had done, I was invited to speakon the radio in Bujumbura. This is how I helped by telling their stories. But after that, on

my side, it was difficult. People from my tribe(Hutu) hated me because I had helped Tutsis.

After the first dangerous time in 1993, theHutu youth made a group of rebels. Five timesthey came to kill me because I protected theTutsi.

One day I was at the hospital visiting mybrother who was dying. I heard that the day Iwas with him Hutu rebels came to my hometo kill me. Later they sent a small group to

demand I give them 200,000 francs [$200]in order not to kill me. I didnt have that muchmoney so I fled to the IDP camps. But at thecamps I was afraid I would be killed in mysleep because I am Hutu. So I would sleep inthe forest at night and return to the campduring the day. The Tutsi soldiers at the camptook my things and didnt like me or protectme because I am Hutu.

The rebels found me near the camp anddemanded I pay them more money for themnot to kill me. My wife had our one monthold baby with her. They said they would cutmy baby into two bodies with their machetesif I didnt pay. I only had 8,000 francs [$8]with me, so they beat me until I was almostdead. My wife and baby were safe.

A Tutsi neighbor took me to the hospital andpaid for my care. After returning home fromthe hospital I needed to feed my family buthe helped with that too. Slowly, I foundenough food and could grow a few things.We moved back to our home in the communitybut at night the rebels would come and wewould flee into the forest. They would stealour food and our things. One night we wereso tired of sleeping in the forest we decidedto stay home. The rebels came but we hadnothing for them to steal. They beat my wifeand I could not stop them. It was so difficult Iwanted to kill them.

My life and my familys life have not beeneasy. Even after all of this there was a Tutsi

man who accused me of killing a Tutsi. Hewanted my property. But I was innocent andthey took me to prison anyway. It was verydangerous in prison. I asked God, why did Irisk my life and that of my family to helpthem and now they plan to kill me in saying Ikilled them. All the people whom I saved wentto the judge and asked him to let me go andthe judge set me free based on theirtestimonies.

Because of all of this I have changed. Untilnow I still cannot sleep in my house. I keepthinking people will come in the night to myhouse and rob or kill me. I cannot sleepinside. I cry much. Sometimes I sit withpeople but I cannot say anything. I have notyet heard the HROC teachings. We have askedwhy there is no HROC in our community?We need to heal from this trauma. There aremany people who have experienced bad thingsbecause of the war. They want to share theirstories. Many people heard me speak on theradio; they say that hearing my story hashelped them. I have not had HROC training Ithink it would help. People want to tell theirstories and hear of others. I hear that HROCteaches of trauma and healing. This isimportant we need this in our community too.

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NIYONZIMACONSOLATTE

Consolatte is 40 year old woman living in theIDP camp near Kibimba. Her husband waskilled during the war and she is caring for her

four children, her sisters four children as wellas her father-in-laws five children. Of thethirteen children the oldest is eighteen yearsand the youngest is seven years old. She hasno income and supports them as a subsistencefarmer. Consolatte told us it was very difficultto care for the children as all the people whocould help her were killed in the war. She alsotold us that there has not been enough rain inBurundi these past three years and she cannotgrow enough food to feed all the children.

Consolatte has attended the HROC workshopin Kibimba.

Before the war my husband was a driver andmy father-in-law was a rich man here. Duringthe war all those things passed away whenmy husband and father-in-law were killed. Noone has experienced this Crisis like me. I ama Hutu and I was married to a Tutsi man.

Both sides were out to kill me. The Hutu say,Why you married to a Tutsi? That makes youa Tutsi. And the Tutsi say, Youre not Tutsiby blood, you are Hutu! Both sides wantedme dead.

Because of that I hated all people from bothsides. I couldnt meet a woman who still hadher husband. I was jealous because myhusband had been killed and hers lived. Butafter HROC I have seen a change in me. Iremember someone came to my house andgave me an invitation. I was asking myselfwhat is this trauma and what is the medicine

for trauma? The facilitators said they had nomedicine for trauma but together we couldfind healing.

Initially there was no trust between us (Hutusand Tutsis attending the workshop). When Iwas in HROC that first day I saw my image.How I felt was described exactly in theworkshop and I recognized it. It was like I

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was broken in my heart and after the workshopI began to feel well.

Before HROC it was difficult because it washard to manage all those children. I wasstressed and angry. But now I can tell them Iam upset; I can talk to them. I remembersharing our experiences and I realized that Iam not alone. There are others who haveexperienced more than me. I learned that Iam not alone; we are together in this.

I have seen that it is difficult to talk aboutreconciliation, forgiveness and truth with thosewho have not attended HROC. Sometimesbefore HROC I would refuse to talk to people.Some people are still like that. Sometimes it

is difficult to listen. Even judges cannot listenwell if they havent been trained. So now Iteach people how to listen. Now I can listento my children. I have seen the healing oftrauma doesnt demand medicine. Whensomeone is angry or sad you take time to bewith them. They begin to heal from listening.

Before attending HROC I was always sick. Icouldnt eat or talk to anyone. I was living in

the tree of mistrust. Today I am in the tree oftrust and my heart is open to others. I wouldlike to have HROC for everyone. There aremany who are like I was before. Today, I cometo both sides of the community. When theysee me they see I am happier but some dontknow why. I want them to experience HROCfor themselves.

We asked Consolatte to share with us hermessage to friends in America and Europe:

I want them to know it is difficult to take careof children in the IDP camps. I have nothingto give them. My heart is broken for all therelatives I lost. I was angry because my peoplefrom my group accused me of wrong because

I was married to a Tutsi man. It was the samefrom my Tutsi brothers. Before my husbanddied he was a good man who loved me muchand tried to hide me away when the killingsbegan. I survived. And even though it isdifficult at times I will live. The teachings ofHROC are important to me. So please tellthose who first began the program in Burundi,thank you. We need more HROC so thatBurundi may become one again.

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NKEZABAHIZIL LOUIS

Louis is 33 years old and is living with hiswife and three children in the Mutaho area.He was in college when the war began. Louiswas working as a policeman for the previousgovernment and stated he is one of the fewwho were reintegrated into the new police

force. He was very shy and reserved when hespoke with us about his own personalexperiences.

When the war began I was in Mutaho goingto school. I heard people came to our homein the Karuzi district, stole our things and thenburned my family home. I am Tutsi. From1993 until 1997 I couldnt go back home. Soafter school I went to Bujumbura and livedfor two years. Eventually, I made friends with

people who helped me and comforted me andI was able to come back to Mutaho. Heresomeone helped me build a house. SometimesI can go and cultivate a plot but it is difficultto find a place to grow food because ourneighbors have all the land. Also, I have noother family. My brothers, sisters and parentswere all killed in the war. Now it is only meand my youngest brother left. He lives withus in our home.

We asked Louis to share with us hisexperiences with the HROC workshop. He hadattended the workshop in December of 2005which was just a few weeks before ourinterview with him. While he was very cautiousin disclosing his personal history andinformation with us he was quite open withhis impressions and the impact HROC had onhim.

CREATINGHOPE

I received an invitation for the HROCworkshop. Before the invitation I did not knowof HROC and I did not know why I was invited.They told me it was a workshop to learn abouttrauma and healing. I was happy to be invited.

In the beginning of the workshop there is alesson called Joharis window. It has helpedme very much. That window has shown memany things. Ive learned the different waysto look at myself and I discovered sometimesyou dont know things about yourself. Youcannot see it because of your own trauma butothers see it in you.

I have also learned many other things fromthe tree of trust and mistrust. It was like mymirror. I couldnt trust anyone. There is trulya change; I see the change in myself and nowothers can trust me too. For me the trust lesson

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is most important. There were some peoplein the community that I couldnt meet or speakto. When I saw them I would get fear. Butnow we meet and share with each otherwithout fear.

I think these teachings have helped. With thisnew government people have lost their jobs.I was able to remain. I try to talk with themand help them with their loss. In generalpeople are open to talking with me but someare still angry because they have no jobs. Theyare jealous because I still have mine.

At the end of the HROC workshop we allrequested to have these teachings given tothe whole community. It is a good vision. Weneed to have meetings with people who havethe same problems, to share our experiencestogether. We need to meet with people outsideof Mutaho and visit other communities andshare with them. I think it would be a goodidea for us to meet with our neighbors inRwanda to see how they are healing and toshare ideas on how we can all heal together.

NDARURUHIREZACHARIE

Zacharie is 41 years old and lives in Cagura

with his wife and four sons, the oldest 10years old and the youngest 4 months old.Zacharie is a subsistence farmer. He has notattended HROC but his wife has attended theworkshop conducted in Cagura. When wespoke Zacharie told little of his own story butpreferred to share with us the changes he hasseen in his wife and in the community.

When the war began, about one year aftermy wedding, we needed to leave our place

for another province. We had nothing and itwas difficult. Then the soldiers came and theshooting began. After a while we heard therewas no more fighting near our home. Untilthen we were living with my mother and itwas difficult. It was hard to find food.

My wife attended the HROC workshop and Iasked her about her experiences. I heard about

We need to meet with people outside of Mutaho and visit other

communities and share with them. I think it would be a good idea forus to meet with our neighbors in Rwanda to see how they are healingand to share ideas on how we can all heal together.

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HROC when she was invited to attend. I dontknow why she was invited but I have seenthe changes in her. I think HROC is veryimportant. She is my wife and she cannot hideanything from me. She told me what she hasseen on that first day of HROC. I knew it was

not political teachings but helpful teachings.

I know others who have been in HROC. I seethe changes in them. Before my wife attendedHROC she couldnt let the children be free.Sometimes the children would question herand she would yell at them or respond badly.But after attending I see the change. Now sheknows how to speak with them.

I have seen it in others in our community. We

have a neighbor who had a boutique. Onenight thieves came to steal his things. Whenhe saw the thieves he fled but his wife couldnot get away. The thieves cut his wife with aknife. When he returned home he found hiswife had been injured, after seeing that hefelt very bad. Those neighbors who haveattended HROC took his wife to the hospital.The man was traumatized and they went tohim and comforted him. Now they are all

friends. That is the fruit of this program.

Because I have seen the changes I would liketo see HROC reach the whole community. Thisis the first thing that begins reconciliation. Iwould also like to see us use HROC withdevelopment activities. This would allow usto practice reconciliation and conflict resolutionin a community project.

What I would like to tell people in USA, HROC

is helping people after the Crisis with theseteachings. I wish to see them developed forthe whole community. I wish to attend andbecome a facilitator because many goodchanges come from this; it brings us backtogether. Continue to think about us. We arefacing poverty and destruction because of thewar. We need you to think about us, care aboutus and pray for us.

HAKIZIMANAANNEMARIE

Anne Marie is 53 years old, widowed, andcurrently living in the IDP camp near Kibimba.Before the Crisis she lived in a village nearKibimba. She has always worked as a cultivator

to support her seven children. Her experiencesduring those initial months of the Crisis in1993 have led Anne Marie both to attend aHROC workshop and to become a facilitator.She is also a coordinator for the KibimbaPeace Committee and works with local womenin a sewing cooperative.

Anne Maries strength is evident in herbeautiful smile and caring heart. She and Annahad met on an earlier visit to Burundi. She

greeted Anna with open arms and the warmthof sincere friendship. We settled into easyconversation as she shared her difficult past.

Anne Marie has told her story in the manyworkshops she has facilitated and in her workwith community members. In contrast to thevery stoic Burundian culture, Anne Marieembraces her grief and invites us to cry withher as she shares her loss as well as her joyfulhope.

In 1993 when the war began, the Hutu cameand killed all the Tutsi they could find. Theycame and burned them down. I was near thegas station where they burned the children.

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We could hear them cry out but we could donothing. After that day the soldiers (Tutsi)came and took us to Kibimba. When we

arrived there were so many bodies layingeverywhere. You couldnt tell if they werepeople or pigs. During the nights I hadnightmares; I saw many bodies and I heardthe screams.

It was at Burasira that I met HROC with Adrienand Solange [HROC facilitators]. We werethere for two weeks. Those teachings touchedme. I saw my image and I cried much duringthat time. It was like a pouring out slowly,my pain, and from there I felt hope in myheart.

From that day, I went back to where I livedbefore the war and I greeted people. I talkedto my older children. Then I could tell themabout HROC. HROC invites those who are mostbroken. Now in the camp we see positivechanges. Those who have not attended theHROC ask, Please bring us these teachings.

It has helped me so much. I couldnt see Godwithout HROC. There are many hearts stillbroken. People are surprised to see meconducting workshops with both Hutu andTutsi. Praise God, I would not be as I amtoday without HROC. There are many peoplewho lost children and cannot forgive Hutu orTutsi without help

We asked Anne Marie to share some of herpersonal experiences with HROC. What did

she feel was most helpful for her healing?How does she cope with hearing the tragicstories of others trauma and what are herhopes for the future of HROC and Burundi?

Today the two trees of trust and mistrust growin Burundi. Truly, it has been a long-time withus growing the tree of mistrust. So now wewant to grow the tree of trust. The tree ofmistrust symbolizes a culture of violence.

Through Joharis window [an exercise in theHROC workshop] we have seen that peoplecan only see the bad things in other people.

But this window also helps us see the goodthings in others. We learn about trauma. Mostpeople do not know that trauma and the effectsof trauma can happen to anyone. They thinkit is witchcraft.

I hear many stories and I see how I can helppeople. I tell them to think about the scripture,Forgive us our sins as we forgive those whohave sinned against us. We have to forgivethem. I cope with my work in many ways. Onthe days that I cannot sleep, I remember allthose bad things that happened to me or tothe people I know. But then I try to remembermy training and I use techniques I havelearned to help me. I also visit with otherHROC facilitators if I need to share with themmy stress or grief.

When I am conducting a workshop I alwaysbegin with my experiences. I start with me

and you see, when I give my example, thisopens people up and they can talk and beginto heal. One day there was a man who tookdrugs and beat his wife. One day his wife waspregnant and he beat her. He came here andheard HROC. From that day he vowed neverto beat his wife. There was another orphanwho said, I couldnt talk to anyone who hadparents. But after HROC I understand why Icannot talk to them. I can change. See HROCchanges people and helps them.

If we had two years of intensive workshopswe could reach all of the need of Burundi andbe healed. It is difficult to share and giveyourself to others so that others may behelped, sometimes in doing so you can re-experience things you have been through.HROC teaches us that this is normal. So youfind someone to talk with through your ownpain. You must have love.

It was at Burasira that I met HROC with Adrien and Solange [HROCfacilitators]. We were there for two weeks. Those teachings touchedme. I saw my image and I cried much during that time. It was like apouring out slowly, my pain, and from there I felt hope in my heart.

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KAJANDIJEAN

Jean is 47 years old and has been living inRuhororo for the past three years. He and hisfamily had been refugees in Tanzania for overeight years. He has six living children, hisyoungest is 7 and the oldest 18. He has lostfour children; three to illness, and one

disappeared during the war. He has workedas a builder but he and his family has beenforced into subsistence farming due to lack ofwork.

We asked Jean to talk about his life duringthe war and his experiences of living inTanzania with his family. Having participatedin the HROC workshop he shared his thoughtsand impressions of that experience as well.

Before the war I was a builder. I had a boutiquethat sold food and things. When the war beganall those things were stolen; all my cowsgone, I had nothing. So, I took my family toTanzania. We walked. It took us over twoweeks to reach the border. This was in 1996.

I found many Burundians there. It was difficultto adapt to the food they gave us. It made usvery sick. In the camp we lived in there were

over 40,000 people, all from Burundi. Life inthe camps is very difficult. Many people acceptthat they will die. Sometimes you onlyreceived food two times a month but it wasonly enough for one week. Many decided theydont want to die in a foreign country so they

go back home even though it isnt safe. Theyknow they will die one way or another andthey want to die at home; so they go.

I was so happy to attend HROC because itwas difficult for me to find other people toshare and talk with. When we fled, peoplecame and killed my child. Even me, they cutme with machetes. That is a difficult thing toshare with others. But in the workshop wecould share our bad experiences with each

other. We have experienced bad things, butdifferently. We have to continue to live, wehave to survive.

Before the workshop I couldnt think or doactivities. My heart told me I wanted tocultivate but then I believed I wouldnt live toeat the harvest. I had no trust in my own life.Now I have a vision for my life and my family.There are others in the community like I was

Before the workshop I couldnt think or do activities. Myheart told me I wanted to cultivate but then I believed Iwouldnt live to eat the harvest. I had no trust in my own life.Now I have a vision for my life and my family. There areothers in the community like I was before HROC.

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before HROC. When I see them I go be withthem, counsel them, and comfort them. Ilisten to their problems.

HROC teachings have been preparedspecifically for the experiences of Burundians.I have seen a challenge in this community. Itis still not united. Some still live in the campswhile others live in the community. It is noteasy to trust one another when they are alwayssegregated.

People see a difference in me. I am thecoordinator of this sector [a local governmentofficial].When we are in meetings I try to usethese teachings. Sometimes when people donot understand why I use this in my work

they come to my home and I explain it tothem. Then they want to know more.

If possible I would like to see HROC at everycommunity level. Maybe find a group of peoplein each sector who are trained with resourcesto help at the local community level. It helps,

talking with someone. You compare your lifebefore and after and you see how it can helpothers. I think we should have communitycelebrations about HROC and drummingcelebrations. We need to bring peopletogether. Maybe if we had community projectsthat allowed us to practice reconciliation whilewe made things for the community this wouldhelp.

To the USA and Europe:

We Burundians are suffering the consequencesof conflict. Pray for us so that we may notknow war again. Help us with the trauma wehave experienced. We need these teachingsto heal and not to return to conflict. We need

projects to practice reconciliation but also tohelp us develop and grow together as onBurundi. When you have the same activity itstrengthens your relationship. I want to seeHROC developed for all Burundians. Ourfriends are suffering from the war, please prayfor us.

SIBOMANAMAMERTHE

Mamerthe is 46 years old and has been livingin Ruhuroro IDP camp since 1994. She firstfled with her family to Ngozi during thebeginning of the war but later moved to thecamp when the heavy fighting began again.Her husband was killed during the initialstages of the Crisis in 1993. She has four livingchildren ranging from ages 24 to 13 yearsold. She lost her first born son to malaria.Mamerthe supports her family as a cultivatorand became a HROC facilitator in 2005. Weasked her to share her personal experiencesduring the Crisis and how her work with HROChas affected her and her community.

I remember in 1993, I was cultivating. I heardthey were arresting people who were not of

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the same ethnic group. I came home to findmy husband there. He was with the children.

At first he told me things had changed in thecommunity. I told him I too had heard thatthey were arresting people. After a fewminutes they (Hutus) came to our home andtook him away. They wanted him, so at nightthey waited for him. When they took him theysaid they were only arresting him and takinghim to the prison.

In the morning, I was going to take him foodand water at the prison. I remember hearingthis voice in my head. It told me to take timefor prayer and to stay home. During my prayerI saw white things floating around our houseand I was afraid. I tried to open my eyes.

When I stepped outside of my house therewere many people with machetes surroundingour home. They left and went to kill my father-in-law. I heard as they called out to him, Didyou hear what happened? The president isdead. Then they said it was his fault and theywould kill him in revenge. They took him alonebut said they would come back for the womenand children. We knew they were killing ourhusbands and our people so we ran to theother hills and found people hiding like us.

We passed there a whole day. During the nightpeople told us to go home, so we did. After avery long trip we made it to my birthplace,but even after one day the rebels found usand we fled on to Ngozi. In that morning,someone came and confirmed that myhusband and brother had been killed. Thepeople who killed my husband were our Hutu

neighbors. They said that we Tutsi killed thepresident. Even though I have experiencedmany bad things God protected me and mychildren.

Before HROC I was invited to a THARSworkshop (Trauma Healing and ReconciliationServices) in Ngozi. But my firstborn son wastoo sick for me to go. It was in that sicknessthat he died. Afterward, I received anotherinvitation to attend the basic HROC workshopbeing held in Cagura. After I completed thatworkshop I was invited to HROC training forfacilitators workshop. I have facilitated oneworkshop in Cagura.

From those workshops I realized that no

person can live or grow with trauma. Throughthese teachings I saw myself, how I wastraumatized. I saw that I was not alone inthese problems. One girl had many problems.She had stopped her studies because of thewar and had a big scar on her head wherethey cut her with a machete. She couldnt talk.During the basic workshop we saw that weare traumatized. They told us if we knowothers who are traumatized we can worktogether to find a counselor. Now I help the

girl from the workshop. When I lost myfirstborn my trauma grew and it was too muchto bear. But I realized that talking about lossand grief is helpful.

Before HROC I used to be very angry and Icouldnt trust anyone. Sometimes I hadproblems with my children. I talked badly tothem. In HROC we have an exercise, Joharis

From those workshops I realized that no person can live or growwith trauma. Through these teachings I saw myself, how I wastraumatized. I saw that I was not alone in these problems. One girlhad many problems. She had stopped her studies because of the warand had a big scar on her head where they cut her with a machete.She couldnt talk....Now I help the girl from the workshop.

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Window. It helped me to see myselfdifferently. Mostly with the death of myfirstborn I couldnt talk to anyone about that.But I have seen the healing in sharing yourloss and pain with others.

I have also seen changes in other participants.My neighbor who had many problems lost allof her children in the war and adopted anorphan. Her family would not accept her orher adopted child and from that day they hatedher. I went to her to counsel and comfort her.She went to the HROC workshop. Slowly, sheand her family have begun to speak to oneanother. She is still caring for the child. Thingsare better for them.

There is another widow who lost all herchildren during the war. She said all the peoplehated her. She would avoid people on thestreet if she saw them. She said that all peoplewanted to poison her. We, from the HROCworkshop, tried to help her, show her loveand that she is not alone. We tell her we haveexperienced similar problems. Today she willmeet with people and sometimes she evenlaughs.

As a facilitator I continue to learn from thepeople we are sharing with. This is very goodfor me. We see the changes from those whohave attended HROC. In the camps there areboys who were young soldiers. After attendingHROC they share and help their families moreand are now even working in the community.

Sometimes it is hard and heavy for me tohear other peoples trauma. I can hear many

bad stories. Sometimes the stories touch medeeply but sometimes what I hear strengthensme because I know others are being helpedby this too. Right now, I dont have anotherperson I can speak too when I have difficultywith others stories. So I cope as I can. WhereI live in the camp we have many women,orphans and girls who need help. It would benice to have counselors to help.

NIYONGABOADRIEN

Adrien is 34 years old, married with threechildren and is the director of the Healing andRebuilding Our Communities program in

Burundi. He first became interested in traumahealing through his involvement with TraumaHealing and Reconciliation Services (THARS).

Adrien stated that while it was important forindividual healing to take place it was alsocrucial to understand the importance of thecommunity role in the healing process.

Adrien is a member of Kamenge FriendsChurch. He shared his personal experience of

the Crisis. Adrien explained that he wasmotivated to develop HROC because, whileaddressing his own need to understand thetrauma of the Crisis, he learned that healingis facilitated by understanding.

In 1993, just two months after the death ofthe President, Tutsi soldiers were out patrollingto move Tutsi into safe areas. As they were

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helping Tutsi to safety, they were alsotargeting Hutus as they were helping the Tutsito safety. Many of us (Hutus) were running tothe mountains, trying to escape the killing.There were some Hutus with guns as wellhelping us.

There were two men with guns who stoppedme. They said, You are Tutsi, why are yourunning? You are not one of us. I was shockedand I said, What? They said, You are Tutsiand you are here to investigate us, to seehow we are set up so you can go back a tellthem how things are and then your generalswill come and kill us. I could not believe this.I thought they were joking because I am Hutu.

The men with the guns said no more wordsand pointed the guns at me. I was waiting forthe last second before I died. Then suddenlyanother man appeared beside me and he askedthe soldiers why they were pointing their gunsat me. The soldiers told him, Its because heis a Tutsi spy. The man said, No, I knowhim. His father is a Hutu; he is a Hutu. Thenthey released me and I was allowed to go.

That really has stayed in my memory. I was

caught in the confusion. I was caught in thestereotypes they used to recognize Hutu fromTutsi. There have been so many mixedmarriages of Hutus marrying Tutsis and Tutsismarrying Hutus so the kids look like bothgroups! You can be Tutsi but you look likeyour momma Hutu and vice versa.

I think many people have died because ofthis confusion. They say Tutsi are tall guys,

not very strong, thin with long face and longnose. Hutus are short with a large face and alarge nose too. But me, I was young and talland very thin. I was 21 and people though Ilooked like a Tutsi.

That night I slept in the bush. I had no otherchoice. I was afraid that someone else wouldmistake me for a Tutsi and try to kill me so I

hid in the bush so no one would see me. So Imade this prayer, If I get an opportunity tolive I would work toward reconciliation. I wasa Catholic; I didnt know Friends at this time.I did escape.

Another night, in 1995, I went to visit a friendof mine and I stayed away from the campuswhere I was a student. So I wasnt on campusthe night it began. I returned the next morningand I saw many of my friends carrying theirluggage and I asked them, Where are yougoing? They told me that students, Tutsistudents killed Hutu students on campus. Tutsisoldiers who were in Bujumbura organizedthese students. I dont know why theyorganized these horrible things.

Although my mother is Tutsi, I am Hutubecause my father is Hutu. I would have beenkilled if I had been on campus that night. Myfriends told me to leave with them becausethe campus was no longer safe for Hutus.Because I thought I may have to travel for awhile and would need my things, I decided Iwould go back to my room and get a fewthings, some clothes, some soap, mytoothbrush..

My family situation had not been very goodas my father left us when I was eight and mymother didnt have a lot of money. When itwas time for me to flee the campus I had noplace to go. Finally a friend who lived in themountains said I could go and stay with hisfamily. I lived there for four months. Theyloved me, they supported me. They were verykind because I didnt have any money or way

to help them.

It wa

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After Guns Stopped