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How To Be Irresistible To Women – Mastery Series

Destroying Self-Doubt, Building Massive Confidence – Interview with Dr. Alex Benzer

James: Welcome back to the How to be Irresistible to Women Mastery Course. Today I’m joined by a very special guest. You might have heard his excellent interview on David DeAngelo’s “Interviews with Dating Gurus.” He is the author of The Tao of Dating: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Dating Women and an NLP master practitioner. He’s consulted many Fortune 100 companies and even manages a hypnotherapy and personal coaching practice in Los Angeles. His TaoofDating.com website helps thousands of men and women alike worldwide discover unstoppable self belief and attraction. He is Dr. Alex Benzer, and he is here with us today. So, welcome to the program, Dr. Alex. How’s it going in L.A.?

Alex: Los Angeles says hi to you as well. Great to be here.

James: Great to have you on the show. You’ve got a lot of great stuff that I’m sure my listeners will be really excited to hear about, so let’s first talk about what your Tao of Dating system is.

Alex: Well, thank you very much, and I’m glad you’ve enjoyed the material so far. I’m happy to elaborate on the stuff. Well, first of all it’s the whole idea of the Tao, what is the Tao, and “Tao” loosely translates from the Chinese “the Way.” When we talk about “the way,” we mean the way that the world works. So the Tao of Dating, like Tao of Philosophy itself, is about observing the way the world is and then working with it, not trying to struggle against it. Just kind of saying, “Hey, this is the way it is, and this is how I can drive the maximum amount of


fulfillment from the world the way it is.”

Actually, recently I was at a seminar with this spiritual teacher. Her name is Bryan Katy – very nice lady – and one of her things is, she says that when you struggle against reality, reality wins only 100% of the time. Which I think is kind of funny! But that’s what the Tao is all about. She’s like, “Okay, let’s deal with reality and let’s figure out what that is, as opposed to trying to impose our own model of the world upon the world as it already is.” We’re trying to see how the world works and then use it that way.

So it’s about using the path of least resistance, and the example that I can use of that is water. Water flows downhill. That’s the natural way it goes. If it hits an obstacle, it doesn’t try to topple it, it doesn’t try to go through it, it doesn’t get mad; it just kind of goes around it. It keeps on flowing. And the idea is: how can you, too, become like water, so that when you encounter a situation, you flow and you find a path to actually get to where you want to get, without having to struggle?

The three principles that I talk about, which are the underpinning of the Tao of Dating, are, first of all, wealth consciousness. And that’s the idea of abundance, the idea that there is so much stuff in the world, there’s enough to go around for everybody, whether this is wealth or whether this is dates. Whatever it is, there’s more than enough for everybody. The simple math is that there’s six and half billion people on the planet; half of those are going to be of the opposite sex. Even if one tenth of one percent of those people are single enough and good looking enough and your type enough to be someone you want to date, that’s three million some people, and that’s a lot.

James: Yes.

Alex: Indeed, so there’s a lot of opportunity out there, and most people are thinking, “Oh no, I lost him or her,” and that’s it. “It’s all over,” or “I’ll never find somebody like her again,” or, “There are no good men or women


out there.” The fact is there isn’t just one; there are multitudes. There are thousands. There are hundreds of thousands.

So be aware of that wealth consciousness, because when you do that, it changes your whole attitude and makes that wealth come towards you.

The second principle is the principle of enlightened self-interest. The idea behind that is that, generally speaking, in the long term, the action that will result in the greatest long-term benefit for you ends up being the one that’s best for everybody around you anyway. So if you’re thinking short-term, if you’re trying to take the short cuts, there are no short cuts in life. The short cuts, as one of my yoga teachers once said…. He said that, “Easy tasks lead to the hard life. The hard path leads to the easy life.”

So the idea is that there’s a lot of dating systems out there, and there’s like, “Hey, you know, say these three things, and this is what’s going to happen,” or, you know, “Play this little game and you’ll be fine.” But really what that ends up being is – even if it works long-term – lack of fulfillment and certain emptiness, whereas if you’re thinking long-term, then everything just tends to go a lot better for you and everybody around you.

And then the third principle is the “Be-Do-Have” principle.

James: Cool, can you explain what the “Be–Do-Have” principle is all about?

Alex: Absolutely. The “Be–Do–Have” principle is the way the book The Tao of Dating is structured. This comes from hypnotherapy and neuro-linguistic programming, and the idea is that…

Let’s take the example of becoming wealthy. Lots of


people think, “Well, if I want to be wealthy, I need to have money.” What they forget is that the “having money” is the end result of the whole process. You can’t just have money. The first step is to be that wealthy person, so really think that, “Hey, even though right now I don’t have a penny to my name, I am still that wealthy person,” just like Andrew Carnegie. Andrew Carnegie once went on a date; he didn’t have a penny to his name, but he still was Andrew Carnegie and later on became one of the first billionaires.

The idea is that you start with the belief, and you absolutely believe: “Hey, that’s who I am, right?” And then once you have the belief, from the belief will flow the right attitude. From the right attitudes will flow the right action, and that’s the “do” part. It’s like, you start doing the things that will give you that wealth. You start to start a business. You start to make the right decisions at the right time, and once you “do,” after a while, you’ll notice almost accidentally suddenly you have all those things that are the hallmarks of being a wealthy person. Now you also “have.” But the “have” is almost accidental, because first you were able to “be” and from that flow the “do” and the “have.”

James: Right. Absolutely. You can see how that would work for attraction. Perhaps you want to be an attractive guy who gets lots of women. First, you have to “be” the part.

Alex: Right.

James: You have to fake it till you make it, as I know you say in your book. You have to “be” the characteristics that a successful, attractive man is, then you “do” those behaviors at work, then eventually you “have” the gorgeous woman that you’re after. It’s quite an original and just amazing perspective of just how this all works.

Alex: If you look at the people who are truly successful at anything, this is the way. It’s the only way that ever


worked, and sometimes there are flukes. Somebody wins the lottery, or somebody gets a great girlfriend, but the fact is, unless you are that individual, the fluke will not last. Studies have shown that people who win lotteries, generally speaking, within two years end up having less money then they started, just because they weren’t that person. They weren’t able to accommodate that kind of success, and so, in dating, are you able to accommodate creating success? Is your mind ready for it? Can you expand to the point of having that outrageously amazing beautiful girlfriend who had a villa in the Swiss Alps? I mean, can you do that?

James: Yes.

Alex: James, if she comes along right now and says, “Take me, big boy,” are you ready? And the thing is, most guys are not. They want it, but then when it comes around, they’re like, “Oh no, now what?” So the point is, are you ready?Be that guy, know that you deserve that, know that you’re that guy, and eventually you will start to do the things that will bring that person into your life. The next thing you know, that person is in your life.

James: It’s an excellent framework for success. As you said, this is just the way it is. This is what actual successful and attractive people actually follow. It’s just the only way or the only Tao of doing things.

Alex: It’s true, and it’s why I find there’s a great overlap between Tao philosophy and neuro-linguistic programming, because neuro-linguistic programming is the study of human excellence. The idea is that if somebody can do something, then that can be learned and anybody else can do it, too, if you just model that right behavior. So Tao philosophy talks about the way the world is and watching it the way it works and then imitating that. So that’s why these two philosophies work so well together. They’re very synergistic.


James: I know a big part of the Tao is about beliefs, because your book and your seminars work to teach men to dispel their negative beliefs and adopt affirmative, positive ones. In your book, what are some of the essential beliefs that a man must assume for success? What are some of the beliefs that you talk about?

Alex: That’s an excellent, excellent question. So I have a bunch of beliefs. I have nine, because psychologists figure out that the conscious mind can hold seven plus or minus two items at any point, so nine is about the limit of things you can actually remember at any given time.

And the first few beliefs are about the way the world works. The first three are about the world and the very first one is, I believe in the abundance of the universe. It’s just like we said, the whole wealth consciousness: the idea that there is so much to go around. For example, just a weekend ago I was in this bar in Nashville, Tennessee. And frankly, in this particular place, it was just completely inundated with absolutely beautiful, beautiful women. What happens when you have hundreds of them all in one place is that you just complexly relax and realize, “Wow, look, there’s so much opportunity.” There’s so much to go around for everybody, and you stop being hungry – and if there’s one thing that will get in the way of your successful, it’s being innately hungry.

So, just know that they’re out there, and don’t worry about it. Believe in the abundance of the universe and really believe in it.

The second one is that the universe is a reflection of me. And what do I mean by that? It sounds a little cryptic and mystical. To a certain extent, it is. The idea is that if you approach the world with the attitude, “Gimme, gimme, gimme,” then the universe, the “collective unconscious” as Jung called it, responds, “Gimme, gimme, gimme,” whereas if you come with,


“Hey, how can I serve? What can I contribute?” Then the universe comes to you and says, “How can I serve? How can I contribute?”

So people are out there, generally speaking in the dating arena, thinking, “Oh, why me? Why should I be so miserable? Give me this, give me that.” But that’s exactly the opposite attitude to have for success, and the most powerful attitude to have is that of giving, that of adding to the world, that of bringing love and affection. People say, “Oh, nobody calls me up. Nobody is giving love and affection.” So how many people are you calling up? How many soup kitchens are you going to and contributing your time? Because the universe will return to you in that same measure.

That’s very empowering concept, because instead of thinking that you’re some sort of victim of circumstance and chance, it suddenly gives you the power to make things the way you want your world to be.

James: Yes.

Alex: That’s why I like that one. And the third one about the… I’m sorry, was I interrupting?

James: No, I was just going to say that’s really good. It’s like you get what you give. If you’re willing to give something back to the world, you’re going to get something back. But I think a lot of guys fall into victimhood and self-pity, so that’s what they’re going to get back. They’re not going to get a lot in return, because what do they really add to the world?

Alex: Absolutely. Who would want a guy who’s caught in the whole cycle of victimhood and self-pity? As soon as a woman speaks to him, she’ll sense that. And the universe comes through and, “Guys do this, girls do this, everybody does this every once in a while.” Just snap out of it. Just decide once and for all, “I’m not going to do that, because it also doesn’t feel good.”


It feels kind of crappy to be in that mode. Just decide that, “Hey, I have this power and I can snap out of it any time I want to.” And be the things. As Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

And the third principal about the beliefs about the world is the world is complete exactly as it is and I’m grateful for it. And this is a very Taoist concept and the idea is – it says in the Tao Te Ching – the world is complete as it is don’t try to mess with it. Okay? The second you try to mess with it, that’s when you start to buy your own unhappiness.

The idea is that the world is a bit like a broken cup, and it’s only a problem that the cup is broken… As a broken cup, it’s perfect! It is exactly what it is. And so is the world. The world is exactly what it is. And my definition of pain is wishing the world to be different than it is.

So the moment you make your peace with the world – however this world is, whether you’re single, whether there are no eligible people around you, whether you seem like you’re getting hammered and people are not returning your phone calls or not showing up or you’re just not having the right luck – the moment you make your peace with that is the moment that the world starts to cooperate with you.

James: I think a lot of guys go out there with the belief that they have to change things, and that, “If only this, if only people nicer to me, if only, if only, if only.” And this is more empowering.

Alex: Right.

James: It’s just easier for me, at least. I’d say this is an easier way of thinking instead of going in with this feeling of pity and victimhood. You see the world is a lot better place. It’s a lot more positive.


Alex: Right. And the idea is that wherever you are, whatever your position is, you have a hell of a lot more to be grateful for than to complain about, because if you’re listening to this interview right now, for example, chances are you have a roof over your head and it’s not raining on you, which, if it were, the whole thing would short and it wouldn’t work anyway. Chances are you are well fed, you are clothed, and you probably have two working kidneys, a working liver, legs, arms, I mean, all this stuff. And there are people out there who don’t have this stuff. You’re actually in a pretty good situation. There are trillions of things, all these cells all working at the same time to enable you to listen to this for enjoyment and your betterment. That’s an extraordinary opportunity, and just having that and being grateful for that is a very empowering thing.

Now is the time that I want to make the decision and hope and gratitude, because a lot of people, what they have is this thing called “hope.” It’s like, “Oh, I wish this would happen, Prince Charming would come along or this perfect woman and she would save me, redeem me,” and all that stuff. Hope is actually this empowering thing. Hope is kind of leaning out with your energy and reaching out and kind of expecting things to happen in a certain way. And when they don’t happen, you’re back where you started, not worse, as opposed to gratitude.

Gratitude is empowering: gratitude for what already is. Gratitude brings more of the good stuff in your life. As one of my spiritual teachers said, “Gratitude is the kingdom of manifestation.” When you are grateful for something already being in your life, because that perfect guy or girl – she’s out there, obviously! Also “perfect” is a dangerous word. But that person with whom you could have a very fulfilling relationship is obviously out there. They’re not going to just appear onto the face of the earth from nothing. They’re out there. That person exists, so why don’t you just express your gratitude for that person right now?


Because that is exactly the kind of energy that will bring that person into your life right now, as long as you feel good.

James: I suppose this can actually work not just towards finding the woman, but through the date and into the relationship just being grateful that you have this woman instead of hoping that she’ll change and hoping that she’ll be different.

Alex: That, too. And you know what? When you’re in the zone of gratitude, you’re able to see things more clearly, and if somebody isn’t right for you then, you’re able to be grateful for that person and still let them go and follow their lives the way it’s better for both of you. It’s all about empowerment and staying within your own energy solidly and being able to take the right action. And hope is always the wrong energy.


A Powerful Realization... There is More Than One Path to Mastery and Success With

Women.

Let’s face it, if you ask someone what the secret is to getting the perfect woman, you are going to get a number of different replies. In fact, there is a good chance that you won’t get two answers the same.

That’s because each of us have different ideas and priorities when it comes to getting the woman of our dreams, and those ideas and priorities are often a reflection of who we are.

We celebrate our uniqueness as individuals, yet it seems ironic that we search for one game plan that is supposed to suit all men, and overcome the affections of all women.

It’s just not like that, and anyone who tells you that doesn’t understand the complexities that make us human. There’s no single technique or action that is going to guarantee success with women, more a combination of techniques, actions, and philosophies.

Now I’m not trying to sell you on one man’s view of the world. Any smart guy will tell you that there is more than one truth, and I don’t want you to take my word as the only source of truth. In fact, I happily share and exchange ideas with other seduction experts and members of the pickup community, in order to garner further meaning from what it takes to go from Average Joe to Dating Master, and I encourage you to do so as well.

But collecting all that quality information is a huge task, both physically and financially. Some of these courses cost several hundred dollars each, so unless you have thousands of dollars at your disposal, many of the dating masters’ courses are out of reach.


What you need is a one-stop, step-by-step course that takes you through a series of levels, platforms of evolution, on your way to understanding how to be irresistible to women. Imagine having the advice, theory, and secrets of all the dating masters, all assembled into one course. Having that knowledge would enable you to:

Discover and develop self-confidence and charisma, and •understand why it’s well within your reach

Become immune to rejection by reframing any interaction •with a woman

Maintain quality conversation with women, without ever •running out of things to say

Read her body language and decipher any sexual signals you •might have been missing

How to become the kind of guy that gets approached by •women, and notice when she wants you to approach her

It may come as no surprise to you then, that I have created just that. A course that combines the wisdom of 12 leading dating experts in one must-have collection of interviews, including accompanying handbook and study guide. This course is called How to Be Irresistible To Women Mastery Course.

If you are sick of being single, spending weekends going home alone, or sick of attracting the wrong kind of women, this course is going to change forever the way you view your approach to dating and attraction. What I outlined in this special report is going to give you some great ideas and some good points to consider, but to be honest, there’s much more to becoming a Dating Master than just that. What was in that special report was a snapshot of one man’s point of view. Sure it contained some interesting thoughts, and the whole interview was even better than the slice you got, but on its own it won’t be enough to change lives.


That’s why if you are a smart guy, and I suspect you are, you will know that getting the Mastery Course and the secrets of all the 12 Masters is going to have a dramatic impact on your life. Some of these people have had years of experience in dating and pickup, either through research or personal experience, and what they have to share with you is pretty special.

Dating Masters who share their secrets in my Mastery Course include:

Joseph Matthews, aka Thundercat•Zan Perrion, from “Enlightened Seduction”•Carlos Xuma, from Dating Dynamics•Dr Alex Benzer, “The Tao of Dating”•Scot McKay, X and Y Communications•Marie Forleo, founder of The Good Life•Leil Lowndes, acclaimed dating author•Marni Kinrys, owner and founder of Wing Girls•And many more…•

Once you implemented some of the dating masters’ secrets in your dating life you are going to notice some big changes. I really want you to achieve success with women, so its important you check out what this course can offer you. Best of all, your newly acquired dating and attraction skills are going to draw women to you because:

You know how to market yourself as an incredibly desirable - manYour interaction comes across as charismatic, natural, and - effortlessYou know how to deal with any little tests she sends your way- You know what kind of first date puts you in the top 1% of all - men


Become your own dating master by visiting:

http://www.000relationships.com/mastery/

Plus, once you get started, there is so much to learn and implement.

To your success,

James B.000Relationships.com

P.S. Again, please give this some serious consideration. Do you want to stay stuck as Joe Average, or do you want to catapult yourself to Dating Master status?




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All Rights Reserved © 2007 ...Tao philosophy and neuro-linguistic programming, because neuro-linguistic programming is the study of human excellence. The idea is that if somebody