AM I TOO OLD TO GROW? Does time really ripens everything?

I was really young when I got saved and baptized. But all these years as a Christian, I

begin to evaluate myself if I had grown to be someone as I was expected to be.

I remember the fire I had in the ministry, inspired by the love of Christ in my midst. I

remember how I felt the need to be in every services and activities, how I cried when I

cant join any of it. Who am I now?

I used to go on visitation during Saturdays and used to support Bible studies. I used to go

on gospel classes even if I am alone, no matter where it is held, no matter what the

weather is, no matter how many children attend it. I used to be active in every camps and

fellowship I can attend to, trusting God to provide the resources I will need. I used to

trust God in everything I am and in all that I have.

Thats it, I am not what I used to be now. I got so distracted by the world, so enticed by

its vain promises of success and empty laughter. Ive let my focus be diverted and be stuck

in this lowly situation where I am right now, a nobody.

I thought that these long years as a Christian would give me security that I cant be

deceived by the devils guise. But I was completely wrong. The strength I thought I had

made me reluctant from my brethrens help. The little knowledge I learned from all those

preaching and teachings made me resistant from the true wisdom they were willing to

impart on me. I thought my experiences made me brave enough, but it just made my heart

hard enough, bulletproof from what everyone would have to say.

Vanity of vanities! I got so hooked up with my ambitions and desires in life. My growth as a

Christian was stunted by my selfish goals and unstable Christian life. Ive let myself be

swayed by winds of expectancy and be tossed by the waves of this worlds deceit.

Now, Ive proven that these long years as a Christian is not a surety of spiritual growth

and strength. Its only by Gods mercies that I was not consumed, and by His love that I

should grow. Ill never let myself be still in this lowly life I have today when all I need to

do is obey and be back in lifes race again. I dont want to be a used-to-be-Christian

because I still have time to make things right.

They say time ripens everything, I say in Gods time sets everything right. I am not too old

to grow, for as long as God lets me breath, I must increase.

-frile