Upload
tom-uglow
View
222
Download
4
Tags:
Embed Size (px)
DESCRIPTION
Ant & flea vol 1
Citation preview
an experimental place
an experimental place
Ant & Flea and the Castle of Prose
tom made this ©2010
Ant &
Flea and the C
astle of Prose
There was once a child named Flea
Who climbed to the top of the tallest tree
To see if he could see the sea.
He climbed and climbed for an hour or such
Before meeting an ant who offered him lunch
And told him a story or three.
The first tale that the ant told Flea
Was about an owl who lived in the tree
He'd lived there for a hundred years
Since an acorn watered by the tears
Of a beautiful princess grew
As high as a huge great tree can do.
Now those tears are a tale, said the tiny warrior
But that is not this and a narrative spoiler
So, four magic tears and a forest grew
But four magic more made a river flood through
It covered the land and turned the earth blue
So Owl flew to the source of the dreadful dew.
The owl swooped down with Flea on his wing
And circled the princess who did woefully sing
"My Love lies below in a watery grave
Sent there to rot by a silvery knave
And until my ring lies along with my king
My tears count the time of the sad song I sing".
The animals sat up high on the hill
As the water below continued to fill
Their homes on the ground (and up in the trees).
The water lapped gently on sad royal knees
And Owl flew higher still carrying Flea
Before diving groundward at perilous speed…
This is it I shall die, thought Flea as they fell
The earth rushing up in a sickening grey swell
And then through & beyond, oh wise Owl's feathers!
Kept him warm in the water, "such terrible weather
They have below sea" noted Flea "By the way,
Owls can't swim underwater can they?"
"It's called 'willing suspense' came the learned reply
Either that or I'm afraid you have already died
From a terrible fall high up in a tree
Now are you shopping for coffins or coming with me?"
So they glode through the water and twiddled their toes
Until they arrived at the Castle of Prose.
Down swooped Owl over hyphens aglow
Where syntactical errors filled row upon row
Exclamatory shadows the symbols did throw
On semantic mysteries below
Truisms made towers and grammatical flowers
Bloomed large midst the golden fresco.
‘T'was a forest of visual rhyme
Built high on the seabed abandoned by time
Glittering wordplay and dead poetry
Pillars and statues of the literati.
There were goldfish surrounding an alphabet moat thing
And they bowed to their silver fish king.
He arrived with a carriage of foam
And a fanfare of cod on trombone
The minnows sang odes
While the drawbridge arose
And armed frogs stood atop all the castle's full stops
As seaweed sang shanties below.
"What are we to do?" cried Flea
Feeling the burden of Responsibility
"Well I see a query, regarding high-tea
And the prince we must free" Owl decreed
"If we cunningly flee before the King sees
Then we will be heroes dear Flea."
"What?" said Flea as they floated or swam
He knew not what they were
Nor what where they am.
He was very confused, but before that he knew
They had crawled through a "Q"
And were hidden in "Zoo"
As they crawled between "secret" and "passage"
Flea saw in the shadow of a "SHADOW" was wedged
A tiny small girl of an uncertain age
Who squealed when she saw them, and flew in a rage
"Awful Big Brother!” she cried in distress
"What am I doing here? Why am I in such bother?"
The two were aghast at Flea's golden-haired sister
But her eyes told the pair there was no need to kiss her
She glared at a them both and said "What's going on?"
"I've been chased by a police-fish with a long pointy tongue!"
Suddenly a frog with a pike turned the corner
And all three leapt through some handy "fauna"
As they slid down the "u" Flea puzzled away
This really was quite a remarkable day
What bothered him most was not so much her pique
But that only this morning she spoke baby speak
Da da, ma mee and gurgledy goo
No conjugations, no hullabaloo!
Flea forgot all about it as he met with a bump
And the three hit the floor with a terrible thump
On their rump, in pitch black, just the light of their eyes
Let them know that the words in the walls were all sighs
A dark gloomy prison, "I'm terribly sorry"
Said Flea, feeling horrid, "I hope no-one's worried."
Flea's sister was crying. "I want my dummy
I'm just a wee baby, I'm scared without mummy."
Owl lit up the room, with enormous big eyes
"Don't be frightened, I'm Owl, stay right by my side."
"Snuggle up in my feathers, they're terribly good
"At scaring off baddies and blokes with big hoods."
She managed "I'm Jewel…" before screaming the scream
Which made them all notice the skeletal scene
That hung from the wall, and they all shut their eyes
The dark being darker, and dreading surprise
They kept them shut tight 'till a small voice enquired
"Now this can't be right, are you all feeling tired?"
"Have you all gone to bed? It's too early to!
"There are baddies to fight and a prince to rescue"
With eyes still clamped shut, Flea started to shout
"Who's that? Are you armed? Have you come to help out?"
"It's me," said Ant, creeping in through the lock.
He flicked on the light switch to give them a shock.
"You're miles off course..." Ant pointed out
"I just want to go home!" said Jewel with a pout.
"You're not having fun, and your brother's the culprit
"How often that happens in the family outfit"
Sighed Ant smiling wryly, "OK then son
"You're in charge really so what's to be done?"
"I'm in charge?" squeaked Flea, quite disbelieving
"It's all up to you" said Ant, "you are sleeping,
All of this here is simply you dreaming
Inside your head is out here thus seeming."
And suddenly Flea was as big as a house
Then equally quick he was small as a mouse.
Even owl was confused and scratched his head
And suggested to Jewel it was time for bed.
Flea dreamt Jewel home with a bowl of ice-cream
"It's all even stranger if I just have to dream."
Then in order to make himself feel a bit braver
He wore silver armour and the pose of a saviour
Off they all marched up a flight made of "Snowing"
Each thinking the other knew where they were going
They climbed up a blizzard going higher and higher
Until they ended up lost at the tip of a spire
With words that went all of the way round the wall
Which Flea, though he tried, could not read at all.
Panic arrived and ran round up and down
Turning each letter the other way round.
"I wish I could read letters better" wailed Flea
"But I've only learnt half, from A through to T
These curious 'X's with their E's and IT's
What are they about? Where do they lead?"
Ant shrugged all six shoulders, "I'm only an ant
What do I know, I'm no literary savant."
Then as Owl rotated came a sound at the door
As it flew off its hinges and fell to the floor
To reveal in their glory the royal fish guard
And a bespectacled chub with a calling card.
"His highness would like you to join him for tea
Either that or we kill you, please follow me?"
Owl whispered to Flea "I was going to say 'damn!'
But I've just realized this is part of your plan."
"What plan of mine? They are threatening to kill us"
Squeaked Flea in a terror, "It's an horrible mess."
"oh!" said Owl in a monotone
For the dream seemed over as the party were flown
Up to the tallest meanest tower
Dragged all the way by dark duck power
"That is to say, um, …er, oh"
Owl looked away and stubbed his toe
They were pushed inside a dark stateroom
Where a silver glow lit up the gloom.
"Welcome Flea, my nemesis
A cup of tea, some choccie bics?"
The evil knave enquired of them
So Flea, to be polite, took ten.
And between nibbles on his digestive
He made his sword all aggressive
And sat back picking crumbs from armour
Whilst the sword was causing some palaver
As snickety snack the fish guard fell
He took one more and prompted "Well?"
"Hmmn" said the king, who looked incensed
"Your sword is good at disembowelment
Could I borrow it one day do you think?"
But before Flea could think to blink
The silver knave was on his brink,
And both fell rolling in the drink
The tea today was Earl Grey (hooray)
So Flea took the initiative straight away
Grinding tea-leaves in his fishy eyes
He called for help but got odd replies
Squawks and clucks from down the hall
Just three fat chickens chained up the wall
Flea ran to help his poultry friends
Who were chained with letters end to end
Their wings were clipped with "final calls"
And around their feet were "IRON" balls,
Each neck was noosed with a golden "choker"
The walls were thick with the rules of poker!
Silverfish appeared cackling "Be afraid!"
But Flea knew this was evil stock and trade
He shouted back "Smelly Socks!"
And hit him with a healthy "Thwock"
The baddy crumpled to the ground
And Flea put the handy "Thwock" back down.
There were no locks, there were no keys
And what with Silverfish on his knees
Being "thwock"'ed a lot it took an hour
To find the book that held the power.
It was a small thick square affair
Called "Dictionary" from the "LIB/r/ary"
Out the book flew wonderful words
Words like "Neurotic", "Machismo" and "Nerds"
Flea also found some words that he knew
"Honey" was funny but the best was "Undo"
Quick as a flash it was all right as rain
But Ant said he'd rather be a Chicken again.
"It was nice being large" Ant said with a frown
But Owl and Flea weren't taking it down
They were staring instead at a man with a crown
And platform shoes and a princely manner
Feet apart and a bit of a swagger
But suave and good looking with plenty of glamour
He stayed for five minutes of thank you's and tea,
With a quick round of "thwock" before taking his leave.
Then alone in a pond was a single wet male
No one around to believe his tale
They would call it nonsense and him “airy fairy”
And they'd laugh at his miniscule dictionary.
Yet high up above at the top of a tree
An owl looked down on a child named Flea
"… That was the first tale that Ant knew,
But whatever became of the other two?"
"It's time for sleep so just wait and see."
Said a small voice also looking down at Flea.