ARC Tahoe/Truckee Memory Book

7/30/2019 ARC Tahoe/Truckee Memory Book

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Christina Sit

Jocelyn GuzmanJune LiuMaria Sanchez

Nga VuSabrina Johnson

Sarah GamaStephany Fonseca

Yilin WangYvonne Guzman

Instructors:Melissa HoffmanLaurie Brown

Owen CassidyEvelina Rutdal

adventure risk challengea leadership and literacy program

2012 University of California, Berkeley | Sagehen Creek Field Station

Writings of Team Ohana

www.arcprogram.org


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2 ARC Summer 2012

I am a little Quaking Aspen tree.My parents have spent a lot of time and money to raise me,Now, I hide in my parents shadow,Stay under their protection.With light: my parents love,With water: language challenges,With clean air: new experiences and braveryAnd with rich soil: my deep curiosity,I will grow stronger and stronger,So that I can take care of my little brother and sister in the future.

I am a little Aspen.I arrived in the USA one year ago, by myself.This is a strange and cold country for a little treeWho used to live in a hot and wet region of China.Although I dont have parents by my side,I know they support me every day.

I am a little Aspen.In winter, heavy snow sits on my branchesThe snow of learning English,The snow of nding new kind hearted friendsAnd the snow of adapting to a new life.

Although the cold and stiff wind hurts my bark badly,I wait silently for spring,I wait strongly for the sun to melt away the snowand free my branches,I wait patiently for my green leaves to grow againI wait to see my real home, my parents, and my happiness.I wait for myself to adapt to this cold and lonely country.

I am a little Aspen.I will reach the sky, I will never give up.I will stand on the top of the mountain,Thrive in this strange and cold country.I will grow taller and taller and see more and moreViews like Lake Tahoe. I will appreciate nature.

I will meet other trees, to know more stories and news.And listen to the hikers,to learn about determination and expression.When my branches become longer and longer,I will be strong enough to support all the winter snow.

I am a little Aspen,My roots assimilate all of the nutrients of the rich soil,feeding my deep curiosityCuriosity makes me ask and learn.Curiosity shortens the distance between the sky and me.

I will become the tallest tree of the forestTo protect my mom from the rainTo be a support for my siblingsTo tell my peers what I see.I will lead the other trees to change their leaves color.Our roots connect and I know I am not alone.I know I have a lot of buddies standing behind me.They support me so I am not afraid of loss.I have condence that I can lead the other treesto pass the harsh winter.

I am a little Aspen.I will create a way to solve the problems I face.Maybe someday people will cut my trunk,But I will become paper, a house,or a boat that is useful for people.I may change my shape and appearance.But I will never die or disappear.Nothing can stop an innocent tree from growing straight and tall.

christina sit Lonely Aspens Wish


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ARC Summer 2012 3

Why did I want to join ARC? Before I joined ARC, Ijust wanted to learn English. I didnt believe a summerprogram could change my life, or even change me. Ithought it was too hard to learn English in San Fran-cisco where a lot of Chinese people live, so I wantedto have a chance to learn English. Everything in mymind was English and school, and I didnt care aboutother things around me. However, after joining ARC,I tried a lot of things. For example, cooking, helpingand making American friends. All of these things were

new for me. I went through a lot of things with myOhana. We cleaned dishes together, cooked together,and slept together. We did everything together. Ibecame outgoing and different. Now, I always wantto try new things and I dont want to miss any chanceto change my boring life again when I go back to SanFrancisco. I dont want to be the girl who always worea mask and ignored everything that was around her. I

want to dance and try new things with other people.Also, I know how to express my feelings, make otherpeople love my personality and show thoughts forothers. I have realized that English isnt the mostimportant thing that I learned from ARC. The mostimportant thing that I learned was interaction andteamwork.

ARC changed me from a person who was alwaysscared to talk to other people, to a person who always

wants to show her personality. I used to think express-

ing my feelings was a nuisance to me and other people.It wouldnt help me. Also, if I said something wrongor against other people, people would hate me or argue

with me; so I thought the best way was to agree withall of their opinions and simply smile. I thought smil-ing would make people love me and not argue with me.

When I was in San Francisco, I used to use my smileto hide all of my feelings even if I really disagreed

with something. At home, my cousins and my auntalways talked bad to me about my father and Macau todisplease me. At school, I always thought my Englishteachers wanted to send me to the lower level class.I thought English was a chain around me; it lockedme into a small world which separated me and otherpeople. It blocked all the ways that I could expressmy feelings to other people. Although I felt tired andstressed, I still kept smiling and hiding all of my feel-ings in my heart. I couldnt disagree with or refuse mycousins and aunt, because I needed them to take care

of me. I couldnt talk to my English teachers, becauseI thought my English wasnt good enough to talk tothem. I thought if I said something wrong or dis-pleased them, it would become an excuse to send meto the non-credit class. When I came to ARC, I didnt

want to talk to other people and I wished I didnt needto answer other peoples questions. I still consideredthat my poor English couldnt make me became theirfriend. Then, I started to realize that I should valuethis chance to learn more English. My English teachersdont live here, so I dont need to worry about sayingsomething wrong. I knew these girls were very niceand they wouldnt blame me for my poor English, so Icould say whatever I wanted. I knew I would live withthese people for for ty days, and I couldnt just be quietuntil the end of the course. Thats when I started to trymy best to join their conversations. Now, these girls aremy Ohana. We went through a lot of challenges to-gether like hiking, rock climbing, kayaking. Now, I feel

more comfortable to share my opinions. Sometimes,I shared my ideas and everybody liked it. I feel veryhappy and proud of myself. It is not the mountain

we conquer but ourselves. (Author Unknown) I real-ized that if I always hide my feelings, other people willmisunderstand me and keep doing what I dont wantthem to do. I used to think not knowing English wasthe only one reason for me to hide my feelings. Now, Ican talk to other people in English, so I think I shouldprove my teachers or other people how smart I am byimproving my English a lot. I have no reason to be thequiet girl that I used to be again.

My mom has always told me, The best way to learnis asking. When I was in Macau, my father hired

a housekeeper to do all of the housework. After Imoved to San Francisco, I had my relatives take care ofme, so I never did housework before I came to ARC.

When I just arrived in ARC, I didnt know how towash the dishes and cook. I was afraid to ask and I feltI was useless. For example, when I was an iron chief,everybody knew what they are going to do next afterthey looked at the menu; I just stood there and waitedfor somebody to tell me what to do. I felt scared whenI was waiting because I was afraid others would think

I wasnt doing my job, but I still didnt want to ask andkept waiting. I thought cooking was very dangerous,and maybe I would hurt myself, so I didnt want tolearn how to cook. Sometimes, other people just gaveme some easy tasks like going to the refrigerator toget some stuff for the meal, but I still couldnt nishmy job because I didnt know the English words. Theyhad to spend more time to repeat again and again toexplain what they wanted me to get. When I was thegreat eye, I wanted to help the house mice to cleanthe dishes, but I was the last one to nish my meal. Ididnt have time to help them; they even had to waitfor my dish. I felt inferiorand I thought I didnt havethe time and ability to helppeople. I envied other girlsbecoming more and moreindependent. They talkedand laughed when they are

working. I wanted to jointhem and be a part of them,so I started to try my bestto help. I asked more andmore, and then I learnedmore and more. Now Iknow how to make fruitsalad and wash dishes; Ibecame more independent.Everyone taught me a lotof things. I realized that Iused to always blame otherpeople and I never wantedto ask. I thought I couldntspeak English very well justbecause I didnt have chanceto practice it because all ofmy friends speak Chinese.I didnt know how to do

housework just because myfamily did everything for mebefore I wanted to do it. I considered a lot of thingson my solo day. I understood that if I try to ask, mylife would become better. If I asked other people whospeaks English to be my friends and ask them aboutEnglish, my English would become better. If I triedto ask my family how to do housework, I might knowhow to do some ease housework. I missed so manychances to ask and learn, and I will not make thatmistake again. I will keep being a curious girl in therest of my life.

I am a leader in my own unique way. I used to havestereotype for leader. I thought leader was smart,mean, perfect and always keep everyone on time. Ithought I couldnt be a leader because my personalitydidnt t to be a leader. I always need help and I am aslow person. I am not mean and I always am the last

one to nish everything. I thought I only could be thefollower. I remember that when I was the leader forthe rst time, I always needed other people to remindme the time and my tasks. I thought I wasnt a leaderthat day and I was very scared to give myself feedback.I said a lot of things that I could work on, but I onlycould nd one thing that I did well. Everyone helpedme and encouraged me a lot that day. Then, I sawother people show how to be a leader. I learned their

virtue is a leadership skill. I listened to other peoplesfeedback carefully and thought about what is a leader.My leadership style became better and better. I wasso glad when everyone told me that my leadershipimproved a lot in the evening meeting. They said thatthey thought my leadership had made a lot of progress

every time. I knew the hardest thing was gettingeverybodys attention, so I used some funny ways oracts to make everyone do what I wanted them to do.Everyone loved my leadership and I am so proud ofit. They made me understand that I dont need to bea mean boss, I can be a funny and kind leader. I lovemy leadership and I will make everybody love myleadership.

I learned to not think that other peoples burden is

lighter than yours. I remember on day one, we needto separate the food into ten piles before we hiked.Everyone should carry one food bag. I got a veryheavy food bag and I thought maybe other peoplesfood bag is lighter than mine. I thought that it was

very unfair to me but I just didnt want to say it.When Mel said we should change our food bag, I feltreleased and lucky. After we changed our food bag,I discovered that the second one I got was heavierthan the rst one. I was very regretful. I thought thefood bag was a burden. You should know somebodyelses burden is heavier than yours and you are not the

only one carrying a burden in thisworld. If you always think you areunlucky or your burden is heavierthan others, you will just get angrierand your thoughts will become anew burden for you. I believe thatif you think youre lucky, then the

luck will follow you. Everything justdepends on what you think. Also,when we were at base camp, we hadto run every morning. The road tha

we ran has two sides. I always chosethe fewer rocks side because I didn

want to hurt my feet again. WhenI saw other people ran faster thanme, I thought that because theirside had fewer rocks, but after I ranto their side, I discovered that mythought was wrong, so I ran back tomy side. When everyone did betterjob than me, I thought that justbecause their job was easier thanme. Now, I understand that when Iam not trying my best, I shouldntignore other peoples endeavor. Youshould see and care about other

peoples endeavors not just yourown. Compassion exists betweenpeople everywhere. Sometimes, you just need to thinkabout your daily life or experience, and then you willsee compassions trace.

I used to think I was perfect. I thought that every-thing I did was right. I thought I was very smart and I

wouldnt have any challenge in my life. I thought thatI could do everything by myself. In ARC, I learnedthat teamwork is very important. If I hadnt had myOhana always standing behind me and supportingme, I couldnt have nished this forty days course. Iunderstand that no one is perfect, but everyone is verystrong. I think life is like hiking and rock climbing. Ifyou take a lot of breaks or want to give up, you willjust become more and more tired. Sometimes, whenyou are crossing country on a deep and slippery mountain, if you just sit down and stop, it is very hard to

stand up again and it is more dangerous. In your life,if you dont face your challenge or push your limit, youwill just become more and more fearful to face yourchallenge and always want to avoid new challenges. Inrock climbing, it is very hard to nd a correct routeto the top. Sometimes, you can see the rock that youshould grab or step on, but you cant reach it. Thattime, you shouldnt forget your buddy is standingunder you and supporting you. Dont be afraid to ask;he will tell you the right way that you should go. If youalways think about your experiences, we will learn alot from them. Some people think that challenge is abad thing, but I think challenge is my teacher. I needto work hard to pass his class, but I also can learn a lotof things from him.

My Teacher Mr. Challenge


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4 ARC Summer 2012

I am a resilient stream with an invincible currentSlowly turning into aMarvelous and beautiful river

And gradually making its way to the twinkling blue ocean

I was a new tributaryDirected through a tough life

That I did not know I would soon approachI was happyEnergetic

And shyI was a child who had no worriesNo problems and so many exciting moments in my life

After many yearsI found out that my life would not always be so easy;

I turned into an outraged brook of ooding waterI destroyed everything that got in my path,

And did not care about what went on around meI had nowhere to turn toNo one to talk toMy father left us at such a young ageMy mother always busy doing something else

And my sister too young and nave to understand my strugglesThe only way I thought to solve my emotional problemsWas to hold them inAnd so I did

Life put me through many obstaclesJust like a stream trying to nd its waythrough piles of sturdy rocks

I got trapped and held inUntil nally I made my way through the small cracksI had no father,But I did have a mother,

A mother who was not always there for meShe paid more attention to my step-father

And my newborn sisterI was mad because my mother did not love me

As I grew older I became a thundering streamI lacked control for my emotionsI ercely crashing onto the rocks that were too tall for meI was always irritated when I was at homeI never wanted to talk

And for a while my water was not taken care ofAnd was at risk of drying outAnd giving upNot being able to make it

To the vast and beautiful seaMy mother and I would argue

To the point that I felt I had to run away from homeMy step-father made my mother think I was lazy, stupid

And under the inuence of alcohol and drugsHe made my mom and I ght even more

When I ran away he acted like he cared,However, I saw that he wanted to stop meFrom owing into the ocean,

He made me think that my mom did not love me

My mother was blind to the distance he put between usOne day while sluggishly guiding my wayI encountered a wonderful lake,

A lake that was well taken care of,This lagoon of clearBlue greenSparkly

And twinkly waterTook care of meAnd showed me a new way of thinkingShe showed me that talking to my mother

Would be a way to get closer to herAnd so I did

My mother and I started to bond more

Now we talk more than we did beforeAllowing me to safely travel downstream with calmer currents,Like I did before, as a child

My future as a mellow, powerful and independent streamFlows towards the ocean of extended freedom

While having a goal

A goalTo get there without being preventedBy rocks taller than me or a steep waterfall

That will jolt me aroundAnd when that day comesI WILL BEINDEPEDENT

A ROLE-MODELA LAWYERA LAWYER THAT USES ALL HER RESOUCESIN THE WIDE SEAPROTECTING AND PRESERVING

ALL LIFE AROUND HERIN THIS COLD, HARD BUT YET BEAUTIFUL WORLD

AND SO I WILL!!!

So I Did and So I Willjocelyn guzman


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ARC Summer 2012 5

Have you ever spent 40 days with a groupof female strangers and not recognize theperson who you were before? Well I have.

I never thought that my life would changein 40 days. I transformed from a hardenedand uncaring person, into someone whowants to make a change and feel trustwor-thy to those around her. ARC made animpact on me that forever changed my life.

People who struggled never mattered tome. I always would say to myself; Whyshould I encourage and help them, whentheyre not going to try to push them-selves? Before ARC I saw people struggleand always give up. I did not want to helpthem and didnt know why. Now I see thatif I would have given them a little push,

all the giving up might not of happened.ARC made me real ize this in a varietyof ways. For instance, throughout thesummer our team, Ohana, had plenty ofpeople with fears. There were people withfears of heights, dogs, ducks, and evenwater. At the beginning of the 40 days, Ifelt like they were holding down the team.I would be frustrated and get angry, likeShrek showing passive anger. I saw thatmy teammates wouldencourage the peoplewho were scared andthat I wouldnt. At rstI did not feel bad at all,

but then I noticed thatthey were pulling awayfrom me. I decidedto change this at rockclimbing, and I knew itwould not be so easy.I had already plannedto be more encourag-ing during our rockclimbing adventure, butI didnt exactly knowhow. We were in frontof a 90-foot wall, I hadjust had my turn a fewminutes ago, and Christina was making her

way down. June was waiting uncondentlyfor her turn. I had known from earlierin our expedition that she had a fear ofheights. When we were walking fromDicks Lake there was a very steep slope,which felt like if you took one wrong stepyou would fall and die. During this partof the trail, June could not look aroundher, or even look down at her feet to lookwhere she was going to step. She almostcried. Back at the granite 90 ft. wall, I didnot know how I should help her. I knew

that if she did not take her chance to goup she might later regret the decision. Ihad to encourage her to go up, and when

she did go up, she went up with con-dence. From there on I knew that its riskyfor people to face challenges, especiallywhen they are fearful . June showed methat encouragement is a great way forpeople to face their fears. She might nothave been so happy when she was backon the ground, but she had such greatcondence because of the encourage-ment that the other girls and I gave her.Now I see that encouragement can helppeople with different things. I plan to keepencouraging people, because if I encour-age people, people will want to encourageme. Also people would be happier making

me happy.

I always thought I could do everythingby myself. I would never ask for help, butARC made me realize that I cant alwaysdo everything on my own. We had ourroles while hiking, and if one personstayed behind, we would never reach ourdestination. We all had to work together,like we did during the hike from Needle

Lake to Tinkers Knob.During that hike we hadto travel cross-country.The team had never re-ally experienced that type

of terrain before, makingit difcult. There wasno trail to follow, treesalways blocked the pos-sible ways, and brokentrunks and rocks weretoo high to go over. Ittook us 12 hours to hiketo Tinkers Knob, but wemade it! The only way wewere capable of doingthis was by helping oneanother. Sometimes wewould not know which

way was the easiest way to get through a

difcult section. I thought that if I ledmaybe we would get out of there faster,but no. We all had to explore trying tond the easiest way out of the jungle wewere in. There were par ts in the for-est that were too high, or too far awayto reach. It took time for me to want toask for help but if I didnt I could ofhurt myself. I saw that I was just makingeverything so difcult by working on myown. Now when I go home, I will not letmyself try to do everything on my own.

If I did, I could end up hurt, or make aproblem bigger and not nd the solution.I have found that if I ask for help I will

get a different perspective and answersthat can help me.

Before ARC, I used to listen to the rstthing I thought of, and never doubtor change my mind. I lost opportuni-ties that I could have changed my life,because my mind always stopped me fromreaching my goals. However, during theropes course I saw that my mind was anobstacle, but my body was what made thedecisions. Yilin and I were on top of a logthat was held by two other trees. The logwas only about 1 foot wide, 4 1/2 storieshigh and 20 feet away from a platform,

and I had to walk across on it. I wasfrozen and so was Yilin. Inside my headI would chant to myself; No, you cantdo it! But everyone else was yelling thatI could do it. I started to walk forwardwithout even thinking. My feet movedforward like a model of some sort. Butthen, I suddenly stopped. My mind hadonce again taken over my bodys strength.But I did not let my mind get in front ofme for long, and I started moving again.I was surprised that I did not give up halfway through the catwalk. My mind kepttrying to stop me; however, my legs didnot let me stop. Being in ARC made me

realize that my mind will not always makethe decisions. I now know that I havethe ability to overcome the power of mymind. When I go back home I will not letmy mind stop me from doing the thingsthat I want to do.

All the expeditions and t imes at basecamp made me become a better person.The not encouraging, none believer andnot able to ask questions girl is gonethanks to all the great things that ARCoffered my teammates and me. Theobstacles the program put between meand success made me push myself to

try new things, and overcome my men-tal strength that used to put me down,making me give up. Now when someonetells me, You cant do that, just give up.My response will be, I can. When I seepeople who are being discouraged andscared, I will take the initiative to be theperson to help them back up. Outside ofARC I will keep challenging myself, andmake myself discover new things aboutme. Thanks to ARC I am a new personthat can do anything she wants.

A New Life in Forty Days


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6 ARC Summer 2012

I am a Silvery eld antTiny and inconspicuousI dont speak English very wellSo I used to hide all my feelingsAll the time

I want to be a psychologistWriting an essay in English is difcultMy brain always goes blankWhen I am writingAs the ant can see the skyBut cant touch itMy dream is untouchable and far away

The wind can easily blow me

Far awayFrom the locationThat I want to goBut Ill be strongStrong enough to nd my way backAs the antsStrong enough to nd their way backBy only remembering the smell

When I moved to the United StatesThe culture and language were all newI didnt know howTo express my feelings In EnglishSo I could only hide my feelings

I caredWhat other people thoughtAt school I was afraidTo make mistakesBecause the Chinese Americans alwayslaugh at the newcomers.I remember one time they said,ONLY the ELD studentsCannot pass the CASHEE test.Even though they were meanIll be strong and prove them wrong

The ant can hearEven the quietest soundsBut the sounds wont distract themThey still keep focusing on their jobThey let me make sure that one dayIll be strongI always care aboutWhat people think about meI cant focus on my responsibilitiesI didnt cook at homeI typically woke up at lunch timeTherefore, I was a lazy and inactive ant.I want be a self-sacricing antThey always focusOn all their responsibilities

I cannot even focus on one thing

Sometimes I think people dont like meThey tell me this through their eyesAnd their actionsWhen people dont like meI feel aloneI feel like I cannot be friends with themWhen I am in ARCI feel safeEveryone is approachable and kindI only choose friendsWho are approachable and kindI dont want myself to get hurtI cannot let myself to get hurtThis makes me sure that one dayIll be strong

Most of the timeThe people dont believeThat an ant can travel around the worldMy relatives sayI need help from themBut I denitely dontJust like the ant believe they can travelaround the world

My relatives are anteaters with sharp teethThat cut us downThey dont care about my familyAs the anteaters always

Show their sharp, pointy teethto the tiny antsWe only get help from themWhen they got paidSometimesEven though we said we can pay themThey still unwilling to give help

When the re blocks the wayThe ant familiesMake concentric circles

Quick as lighteningRolling through the reWhat gives the worker ants the courageTo voluntarily stand on the outer circle?Unity!Self-sacrice!Why does my family protect me?Because they love meEven though Im a lazy and inactive antThis makes me sure that one dayIll be strongStrong enough to protect my familyAs the worker antsProtect the queen and baby ants

I want to be a worker ant at ARCWork as hard as I canIm always wondering if I am doing my bestOn our rst expeditionWe had to hike for 6 milesWith heavy backpacksI felt the most tired and exhaustedI have ever feltI desperately wanted to give upWith clenched stsI stabbed the hiking poleI felt like someone take my brain outAnd only my body was left to hikeBut I forced myself to keep going.And I made itThis experience makes me sure that one dayIll be strong

I want to be the self-sacricing antWho will go to college for 8 yearsJust to become a psychiatristI will help children who have been abusedProtect them and mitigate their hurtMy dream will let me make surethat one dayIll be strongOne day,Ill be strongStrong enough to overcome EnglishIll be strongStrong enough to accomplish my dreams

Ill be strongStrong enough to protect myselfand my familyIll be strongStrong enough to leave my relativesAnd let them realizeThe things they did were all wrong.I believe that one day,If I walk steadily,step by stepI can reach my success

Ill Be Strongjune liu


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ARC Summer 2012 7

A failure is not always a mistake The realmistake is to stop trying. B. F. SkinnerBefore I came to ARC, when I felt chal-lenged the rst thing I thought was to stop.

I really wanted to accomplish my goals, butI didnt have the bravery to do them. Everytime I worked on my essays for English, Ialways got stuck on the brainstorming part. Igot frustrated, and I would stop. My essayswould be like a draft to a kids drawing. Iwanted to work on it more, but had no ideahow to continue, so I would tell myself,Thats it! You cannot do this. This is yourlevel, and you cannot do better than this.But now, I dont discourage myself when Iam writing and I dont hate writing essays.At ARC, I always pushed myself as hard asI could. While we were backpacking, mostof the time I felt exhausted, but I always

tried to keep going. I told myself, You willbe ne. When you get there you can relaxas much as you want. When I didnt knowsomething, I would ask instead of hiding.My encouragement made me progress a lot.When I found that I had something to im-prove on, I would actively work on it insteadof waiting for help. I worked on my posi-tive attitude and faced my fears. This mademe grow a lot and I feel like I can leave myparents and be independent.

You always look serious! Why dont yousmile? my mom always asked me since Iwas 13 years old in China. I used to have apoker face before I came to ARC. I never

noticed that a smile could change everything.On day 27 of the 40 day course, we hikedout from Tinkers Knob and I was the leaderof the day. That night was was the brightestnight that I had ever seen, because I learnedthe value of a positive attitude. At about8o clock, it was time to start the eveningmeeting, which meant it was time for me toget feedback from the group about my roleas leader of the day. I didnt notice that myface was turning into stone; I just kept look-ing at the sky and wondering why the skydidnt turn dark when it was supposed to.The sky was like a child who didnt want togo home when it was the time, but wanted

to spend the last moments with her friends.It was a sign it that I would receive the bestpresent that night, which is good advice.The group told me that I need to improvemy tone of voice and smile more. At rst,the feedback made me feel frustrated, butI really listened and I understood that itwould be useful for me. I nally knew whatI needed to do to improve. I am a personwho always strives to become perfect. Ev-ery time I hear people explain how I can bebetter, I feel pleased. I used to think smiling

was stupid, I didnt smile so I could protectmyself from getting hurt; I thought it mademe stronger to be serious. I didnt want toshow people what I was feeling. Since thatnight, I started to smile a lot, and the more I

smiled the more respect and condence I re-ceived. I learned that my smile brings moresmiles towards me. When you are in a goodmood, the things you do will be much easier.For example, when I was hiking, the longdistance made me feel exhausted. However,when I was talking to people about thingswe are interested in and more, I felt better.You will always see the bright side of thingswhen you are in a good mood. When Iface a challenge, I will try to smile rst, andI wont care how hard it is. I will smile rst,and I wont let myself be depressed.

I used to be a scaredy-cat. When I waslittle, I was afraid of darkness, heights,dogs, and getting hurt. I dont know whyGod brought so many fears for me to face.I knew I would have to face my fear ofheights by coming to ARC, and it made me

question if I should come. At the ropescourse I faced a lot of these fears. I knew itwould be scary, and there was no place forme to hide. In my memory, it was a sunnyday but in my eyes it was cloudy. The onlyfear I knew I would have to face was myfear of heights, but I didnt know therewere other fears waiting for me. When wegot out of the cars, two dogs came towardsme. The dogs reminded me that I have toface my fear and not hide. I couldnt evenput my feet on the ground because the dogs

were around me. As the dogs came towardme, my fears grew to the highest point. Myfears were broken down when we beganto play a game. After lunch, the scariestmoments nally came towards me. I put

on a harness, and it reminded me of whenwe went rock climbing. When I went rockclimbing, I had to climb a wall that was al-most straight up. The higher I climbed themore scared I felt. Finally, when I wantedto go down I realized it was the biggestchallenge I had ever faced. I couldnt letgo of the rock. I had to let go of the rockif I wanted to get down safely, but I wasscared. My body needed to lean back fromthe wall, but this action reminded me ofwhen I almost fell out of a building whenI was a kid. At the ropes course, Mike, thefacilitator, asked us to line up by how muchwe were afraid. When Mike said I would

go rst, I felt frustrated because I was themost afraid. Usually people will put thepeople who are most scared at the end,but I was rst. I was the rst one to go upthe Flying squirrel, which was an elementwhere you are raised straight up in the airas high as you can go. My tears startedto fall down; I really didnt want to cry infront of a bunch of people, especially a 12year old kid who was Mikes son. At thatpoint, I wasnt in charge of my tears, andI felt weak. I took a couple deep breathsbefore the rope was attached to my harnessI closed my eyes, and I started to go up.The higher I went, the more I cried. But Iforced myself to not give the thumbs down

which meant go down. I ended up go-ing 30 feet high before I stopped. I nallyrealized that I was brave. Even though Iwas scared, I still tried. If you dont try,you will be regretful later, I always remindmyself. This experience led me to the topof my challenges. I will use this experienceto remind me to always keep going and atleast try.

Finally, I have found my unique way toreach success. I need to actively pushmyself and not just wait for help. I need tostop discouraging myself and be positive. Ineed to always keep trying. I believe I can

do anything if I work really hard. I used tolike seeing the hard working people work intheir jobs because they were inspiring. NowI have learned to be a hard worker as well,and I can inspire others. I will show mybravery by trying new things, and facing myfears. I will take the initiative to choose tokeep my positive attitude. When I go homeI will bring the keys to success with me. Iwill not let anything bring me down. I willkeep trying. I will not stop. I believe I cankeep progressing until the end of my life.

Keep Progressing


8/24

8 ARC Summer 2012

I am a sh traveling through waterIts a long difcult journeyThrough the river to get from the lake to the ocean

I swim with a school of shEven though they are there for meI am the uncommon sh

I need to escape butI feel terribly alone

As I travel I come across bumpy rapidsManaging school, friends, home, and expectationsThe force of the current pressures me to do right thingTo be responsible and independentBut I just want to be left alone to make my own choices

Rushing waterI am swimming against the currentTrying to leave my past, but it keeps pulling me backI know that I need to push past my limitsBy working hard to get to the ocean

I swim through torrentsOf worry, sadness, pressure, mistakes and my burdensI worry about my sisterAnd try to help her be strong to forget by being a good role model

I cry because I cant do anything to helpIm trapped in one placeMy pastI made the mistake of blaming myselfI couldnt keep up with the current

I eased my wounds and eventually I came to calmer waterI tasted salt and I realized that I was near the ocean

I learned to carry all my problems since I was a childBy letting go of the load and going with the owEven if the currents were strongI could swim through them

I left the lake to get to the oceanEven though my memories still swirl around me

I realize Im also swimming through waves

Of happiness, freedom, joy and dreamsI am overjoyed to be with my mother thats constantly there for meSupportive even though shes ghting her own currents of disabilityShe doesnt complain because it makes her strongerMy sister also wont let her disability or age stop herfrom having a powerful life

Life is a long river rushing byBy ghting the currentIt made me strongerTo be where I wanted to beWhen I reach the oceanI will have the satisfaction of achieving my goalsOf successfully nish high school to gain my diploma,

Reaching the college I desire and become a strong adult like mymother

I will get to that clear beautiful oceanI will feel strong and independentI will have the strength to overcome all my obstaclesI will have a wonderful home and a beautiful life

My Life is Like a Fish Traveling through Water

maria sanchez


9/24

ARC Summer 2012 9

One of the greatest tragedies of ourmodern civilization is that you and I canlive a trivial life and get away with it. Oneof the greatest advantages of pain and suf-fering is that it forces us to break throughour supercial crusts to discover life on adeeper and more meaningful level-TimeHansel.

Joining ARC was one of the best choicesthat I ever made. It changed my life andthe way that I see things. I now see lifefrom a different perspective by payingattention and listening, and trusting othersand myself. By becoming more condent,I can make a change.

I became a leader instead of a follower bylistening to all of the feedback people gaveme. Every time that I was leader of theday I would dread ABC news at the end ofthe day. I was afraid that people would tellme that I did a horrible job. On the rstexpedition, I felt that I did a horrible job. Iwas the rst leader of the day and I had noidea of what needed to happen. I felt lostand hopeless like a bird trapped in a cageunable to spread its wings. I kept tellingmyself that I could do it and my instruc-

tors told me that they picked me becausethey felt that I could do it. Everything wasgoing well until my ankle began to hurt.The trail got more and more rocky mak-ing it painful to walk. I didnt want to letthe group down on the rst day so I keptwalking. As we got closer and closer to ourcamping site, I began to falter to the pointthat the pain was getting in the way of meleading. The pain kept getting worse. I wasbeginning to cry and I couldnt stop. Wehad to stop and nd a new place to campfor the night. Finally, it was time for theevening meeting and I was scared to knowwhat they had to say because I felt that

I had let them down. During the leaderof the day feedback, I wanted to cry allover again by just thinking of what hadhappened. They kept on telling me whatI did wrong and only mentioning one ortwo things that I did well. At that point Ididnt want to listen. I wanted to ignoreeverything that they told me and just gohome. I knew that I did the best I could,but they didnt know. I soon realized thatthey were telling me this to help me andnot to make me feel bad. Later I realized

that I was using what they had told me todo, because they said that I was improving.I now know how to lead the group betterthan I did before, because I learned fromwhat they had to tell me. I talk louderthan I did before, and learned that I ama person that my team can follow since Iam compassionate, condent, and I makegood choices.

Before ARC, I didnt trust anyone becauseI didnt think that they would understandmy feelings. I felt that I couldnt truststrangers and feared that they would makesituations worse. I also didnt have the con-dence to makefriends and talkto people. Iwas quiet andinsecure, fearingeverything I did.During ARC wewent white wa-ter rafting andI fell out of theraft into ragingrapids severaltimes. Everysingle time that

I fell out myteam was alwaysthere to pull meback in. Whenwe went to theropes course, Iclimbed 40 feetoff the ground.I felt scared andinsecure to goany higher, but my team kept cheering andsupporting me to go on. I reached the top,and felt shaky. I did not want to leave thetree. But I still had challenges to overcome.I had to walk across a log 40 feet up in the

air and swing down the Giant Swing to getdown to the ground. These activities wereoverwhelming and I felt terried. The onlyreason I managed to get down was becausemy team kept cheering me on and mademe feel like I could trust the equipment,them, and myself. Through these experi-ences, I am now condent to talk aboutwhat is hard for me to say. I also havecondence in myself and have the courageto take the rst step towards challenge.Getting to know strangers and learning

more about them can show me that theycan become friends and even my family. Byletting the people in my Ohana share theirfeelings too and supporting me to do thesame I feel like I am about to overcomemy fear of trusting others.

When I was younger, I would never askfor help because I didnt want to feel weakI had to grow up fast and be responsibleand independent to take care of my sister.I would pressure myself to do everything,thinking that no one would understand,and be able to help me. I would pressuremyself to do everything by myself because

no one could do it for me. Mycommunity in ARC is a goodrole model. They have showedme that they are here for mefor support and also to givegood advice. Through beingasked to give help, I haverealized that I also can ask forhelp from others. I was able toask them for help when I washaving a hard time. I wantedto leave the course because Ifelt that I couldnt make it tothe end. They said that they

would do everything they canto help me nish the course,and I did. Other exampleswere when I was the leaderof the day and I was askedto help keep the group stayon task, when I was the aquabear I was asked to keep thegroup hydrated, when I was ahouse mouse I was asked to

help clean up, as an iron chef I was askedto make sure that everyone was fed, as thegreat eye I made sure that we didnt getlost, and as the journalist I was asked topoint out our accomplishments. Know-

ing that there are people that I can sharethe load with at home, school and in mycommunity and it makes me feel safer andcondent. This helped me let go of mycontrol and be less independent.

By joining the ARC program I was ableto learn that I can be condent. I can askfor help when I need it because I can trustother and myself. I can now make my owndecisions with condence. ARC was a lifechanging experience.

I Was, I Am


10/24

10 ARC Summer 2012

nga vu

I am an independent creekI start from the top of the high mountainI have my own way to goI make my own decisions for lifeTo reach my goalThat all other creeks wantTo reach the vast ocean

I used to be a lazy creekI just laid on the ground and owed slowlyThe same routine everydayNot nding a new way to liveUntil I realized that my life was boringWhile the others made their lives more interesting day by dayI felt lonely and lost in my life

I was a selsh creekI didnt want to share the water I hadWith any trees around meEven when the water was overowingI thought that it belonged to meI didnt have to share with anyoneUntil I saw and perceived thatThose trees were dying day by dayThey lacked waterLike some people who have to collect trash for foodThose people really need things that I had thrown awayEspecially back in Vietnam, my country

I was a thoughtless creekI just copied everything people didWithout thinking if it was right or notAnd then I learned thatNot all of the things those people did was rightThey just did what they thought was benecial for themAnd didnt think about others

Sometimes I felt that I was inconsiderateI didnt think about the others feelingsEven my parents when they were tired after workingI didnt help them with anythingBut I kept making the house a messAnd they would have to clean up after meUntil I saw they got more white hairsAnd more wrinkles on their facesBecause of taking care of usThey gave us everything they had

Now I want to be myself,Be more thoughtfulBe a grown, condent, and bold creekStrong enough to become an independent riverTo reach the ocean, my goalNothing can stop me from reaching my goalI set aside the wrong things people want me to do

One day, Ill rise back to the mountainWhere am I fromTo share water with the trees,Who needs the support to keep growing healthyThey dont have to collect trash for food anymore

Ill choose my own way for my river ow to the oceanIll be more than a daughter for my parentsA generous sister for my siblingsIll try my best to be a successful student in high schoolGo to my dream collegeGet a great career to earn enough money

Ill come to my parents and ask them to restAfter working hard for us many years

My river has reached the ocean successfullyI have changed myselfFrom a lazy, selsh, thoughtless and inconsiderate creekTo be an independent, condent and strong riverNo one can stop me from reaching my dream!

A Thoughtless Creek Becomes a Grown River


11/24

ARC Summer 2012 11

Twenty years from now you will be moredisappointed by the things that you didntdo than by the ones you did do MarkTwain

Before I decided to go to ARC, some ofmy friends told me that I should not go.

They heard from previous ARC studentsthat ARC would not allow me to use anyelectronic devices, I would have to do alot of things that are dangerous, I couldnttalk to my family, and I might waste mysummer for nothing. They made meconfused about what I should choose, butI thought that if I joined, I would have achance to learn more things. If ARC waslike what my friends told me, I might stillregret my decision. But, if I did not joinARC and have this summer with nothingto do, then it would be too late for me totake a chance to try new things and meetnew people. Im

glad that I did notlisten to them. IfI had, I will regretit like I did whenI was a little kid. Iused to be a lazy,passive person.I always waitedfor the things tocome to me, andnever found thenew ways to makemy life better. Ifollowed every-thing people toldme to do withoutasking or beingconcerned why.Sometimes, I feltI was a puppeton their hand,they used me foramusement. WhenI had enoughknowledge to real-ize what happenedto me, I refused tobe a fool in frontof those people. That made me hesitate totry new things because I thought peoplewould laugh at me if I made a mistake. I

would rather do the same things everydaythan try the new things that made me feelshameful in front of others. I wasted a lotof time staying home, being on the com-puter, Internet, and doing nothing. Now, Ifeel disappointed about the time I wastedbefore. I decided to join ARC, and I knowthat I will never regret this decision.

Before this course, being away from familyfor forty days was something that I did

not think was an option. I was dependenton my family. I thought that without myfamily I could not do anything. I neededto be reminded of small things, like eatingon time. When I came here, I learned tobe independent. I did not ask for help if Icould do it by myself. I also learned how

to be a responsible leader of my peersbecause of being independent. I triedto help them to be on time by setting agood example. I woke up earlier and didmy cleaning before I woke them up soI could make sure that they had enoughspace and time to do their work and getto the stretch circle on time. From being aleader, I learned to be more condent tospeak up. I felt that my English improveda lot when I came here. At the beginningof the forty days, I was thinking a lot ofwhat I would say or ask others. I usedto think that they might think that I was

stupid if they could

not understand me.That made me qui-eter. Later, my teamhelped me be moreopen by sharingtheir life stories andencouraging eachother. They mademe trust othersand myself more.They let me knowthat what I thoughtbefore was wrong;I am not dependenton my family, and Iam condent to dowhat I want.

Compassion issomething I didntthink that I haduntil I came toARC. I learned toput myself intoothers shoes, tocomprehend whatthey were sharing,and think more

about their feelings. Compassion helpedme to be more patient. When we were hik-ing, we could not stay together all the time

because some of us were scared of heightsand some were tired. So we had to waitfor them and come back to support themsometimes. That made me angry becauseI thought that they were holding back thegroup and did not try their best. Later,ARC helped me understand what a teamis. In a team, we should work together andhelp everyone reach the goal together, notas individuals. In the last expedition, wesaw that some of us had not improved

enough. This made us realize that wehelped them too much, and made thembecome dependent. So, we decided to letthem try rst to see if they really neededhelp. We saw that they became moreproud of themselves and improved more.Therefore, I learned that if you want

to help others, you should think aboutencouraging them to try rst. That meansyou are not taking away their chance to bebetter, and they will not regret what theydid not try.

Being responsible has a big effect on thegroup. Working in a team, you are not onlyresponsible for yourself, but for every-body. Your actions might hurt yourselfand affect the team. This could be positiveor negative to your team. At the ropescourse, we showed a lot of teamwork andresponsibility. We helped and supportedeach other to reach the goal together.

When we walked on the rope, the peoplewho crossed the rope rst helped andshowed how to pass the rope easily to theothers. We supported each other. Whenwe played the ghost rider, we had to becareful with what we did because if oneperson failed, then the whole group hadto start over again. It made you be moreresponsible. We climbed a tree and walkedon a log which was 40-feet above theground, called the catwalk. When I was onthe catwalk, my legs were shaking. I kepttelling myself that, My friends have meon belay down there, and Im going to beOK. I looked down to my belay team,and they yelled my name and encouragedme. It gave me more bravery to keep go-ing. I stopped for a second, took a deepbreath, and tried to push myself forward. Ilearned to trust my team and myself more.This can help me overcome my fearsbecause I know that my team is out therefor me. They can catch me whenever I fallThey made me trust myself that I can doit. When I wanted to give everything up,they were there and told me to not give upbut keep moving. I really appreciated thetime we had together.

I can see how much I changed if I com-pare who I am now with who I was before

these 40 days. Before, I was lazy and pas-sive. If I had stayed home this summer,I would have kept sleeping until noon,staying late up at night, and spending timeon my computer every day. ARC helpedme learn a lot of lessons. These lessons Ibelieve will help me now and in my future.I have changed to a more active andcompassionate person because of thirteenstrangers, who called me Ohana, or family,after a few days later.

Try New Things to Prevent Regret Later


12/24

12 ARC Summer 2012

sabrina johnsonI am a sparkling cloud

But most do not reach out to meInstead, guessing, judging and imagining what I amSome take the time to guess with their friends.Sometimes their guesses put me high.Most times their guesses put me low.

I wish they werent so blinded by my personalitySo bright, loud, and seemingly condentOften, my dark shadow leads people awayI wish my shadow would bring them inI offer shade, a shoulder, an ear and advice

The more comfortable I feelThe higher I riseThe more I laugh, joke and smile

Ive been through more than people think.Im just an expert at hiding thingsThings that Im ashamed of.Bottling everything insideLike rainTrying to keep it in.

My facade is always light and happyBut inside is a thunderstormA thunderstorm full of fear, anger and confusionFear for my mother, her health, her safety, her boyfriendAnger for my brothers addiction, his so called friendsI fear my sisters left valve might give outAnd confusion that my own dad wont ght for meI built a barrier of vapor, thick and impenetrableTrying to nd way to avoid realityAnd ght emotionsIf I let my emotions out naturallyI will rain long as if I will never endPowerful like Im on steroidsNice because I still want to helpA gentle hurricaneAfter the longest drought.

I always want to helpIf youre hot, Ill shade youIf youre lost, Ill nd youIf youre hopeless, Ill help youIf youre hurt, Ill heal youIf youre blissful, Im blissfulPeoples happiness makes me rise like clouds

I love being joyfulAnd Im not going to let any obstacle in life take away my happinessOr discourage me

Because I am an ambitious cloud

Higher than expectation

And I have the right to beThe right to be free of worriesThe right to love life as I wantThe right to y and go to an extraordinary collegeBecome a veterinarian, make a differenceAnd stand up for what I believe in

Im no longer a dingy cloudNoIm a determined cloudI know where Im goingIm going to make a changeI know how to get thereBy doing whats right ,right now

Now Im a glistening cloudShinning brightOn the right pathPursuing happinessAchieving my hopes and dreams

ARC has helped me gain insightAbout independence, strengthLetting out emotionsMaking good choicesIn life, I probably wouldnt have made it much furtherI cant change my pastBut I can assure my future

Changes to Free Myself


13/24

ARC Summer 2012 13

I was 4 stories high on a tree log that

was not even a foot thick. Why did I putmyself into this position? I said quietlyunder my breath, while looking down in ter-ror. For some reason I couldnt stop lookingdown. Even though people were encour-aging me, my mind played tricks. Theirencouraging words turned into discouragingwords. In my mind, Youre not going tofall turned into Youre going to fall. Itried calming my nerves by telling myselfI was only 5 feet off the ground. I got thecourage to take my rst step across the tree;however, after only 3 steps my legs startedquivering. I looked down and asked mybelay team if they had me. Jocelyn, Steph-any and Nga all nodded and answered yes.That eased my mind, but only for a secondbecause I couldnt stop thinking abouteverything that could go wrong. I frozewith fear until I heard, Look this way! I amcoming to get you. Maria was only about7 feet away from me with her hand out,scooting her feet to come get me. WhenI nally grabbed her hand I felt at ease. Iwasnt as scared and my legs stopped quiver-ing; we made it to the other side. I smiled,took a deep breath and relaxed because itwas over. All I needed was friend there withme to overcome my challenges. In ARC Ihad to push myself in many different ways.I learned its okay to push yourself out ofyour comfort zone.

I learned to face my fears, because if youdo, you will feel accomplished, and youlllearn that theyre not that scary. I am ter-ried of water. The rst time we kayakedI was silently crying during the rst hourbecause I was so scared. I was going totell Mel that I couldnt handle it and I justcouldnt get back in the kayak. However, I

started to think about all of the views andsights Id miss out on. I didnt want to haveany regrets. I sucked it up, took some deepbreaths and I told Mel that I would give itone more chance if she was right by myside. It took a lot to get back in, but I toldmyself that we were only kayaking in theshallow parts. With Mel right beside me,I felt safe. As we were kayaking I startedthinking to myself, If I wouldnt havegotten in, I would have missed out on thebeautiful views and all this fun. Now I

wont think twice about facing my fears. I

wont choose to just walk away. After ARC Iwill continue to face my fears because theyhelp me grow as a person.As I reect on my time with ARC, Ive Irealized that I learned that when I think Ican only take 2 more steps I can take 10.Whether its emotional, physical or mental,I can always go farther. Hiking was a bigchallenge for me. The uphill parts were so

tiring. I would take 3 steps then stop, takeanother 3 steps then stop, and so on. Istarted thinking about the team, and how Ifelt that I was holding them back. I wanted

to show them that Im strong and a ghter.I grabbed the hiking pole and stabbed theground repeatedly, like I was furious withthe trail. I increased my speed, encouragedmyself and I accomplished my goal ofreaching the summit. We run every day atbasecamp, and while running, every step feltlike it was going to be the last one I couldtake. I started singing the song titanium byDavid Guetta. It inspired me and encour-aged me to keep running. Not only haveI pushed myself physically, but I pushed

myself emotionally. I shared my feelings,

even when I thought I would be judged.My Ohana didnt judge at all. Some of thegirls had gone through the same experienceI had gone through. They made me realizethat half of things that I was beating myselfup for werent even really my fault. I real-ized I should stop beating myself up aboutsomething that was in the past. Now I knowthat not everyone is going to judge me. Forthe rest of my life I will push myself. I willnot look at giving up as an option, becauseto me it no longer is. Lastly Im taking theword cant out of my vocabulary, becauseI can and I will.

With my ARC family, I gained condence Inever previously had. Before I meet any ofmy Ohanna, I thought you had to be superskinny and tall to be beautiful. I quicklylearned that you dont have to be. You donthave to t the statues quo. You just got todo what you want. If you dress how youwant and be who you are people will thinkyoure uniquely beautiful. Most importantlyyou will know that youre uniquely beautifulThe whole time I was here I wasnt wor-ried about my body or weight. I was mostlycare free, and just having a good time. HereI was never worried about meeting thestatue quo, or what people thought of me.I also learned there is such a thing as bigand beautiful. And I am big and beautiful.Now I have so much self-esteem that I amconceited. Within these little 40 days I havegained condence that will help me in life.When I go to an interview to get a job, Iwill walk in there like I own the building.I wont be as shy about talking to people Idont know. My appearance wont hold meback.

In the end, I learned a lot and found outwho I want to be. I learned that a friend canbe your family, your Ohanna. Friends canhelp you overcome fears and challenges.When you push yourself you feel power-ful and like you can take on the world. Itwill get you to where you want to be. Iverealized that opening up and being vulner-able is actually helpful, and it makes you feelunderstood. Now because of ARC I feel bigand beautiful. Im so glad I came because Igrew as a person.

Changes to Free Myself


14/24

14 ARC Summer 2012

I am a delicateBut Powerful

Juniper TreeThat wants to grow highAnd extend my roots

Ive been through the toughestWeather and stormsStorms that tried to bring me downCaused me to lose my branches

Ive even been struck by lightning at birthLightning that killed me

And brought me backFor a purpose in life

A luminous lifeI once lived as a child

An innocentCareless and free little girlI smiled all the time

Laughed and played with my siblingI believed my parents had a never ending loveBelieved my family was perfect

And nothing could ever bring us down

Yet as the years progressedThe seasons changedA fearful drought came one yearIt soaked up all the water

Within my momAnd my familys soil

My mothers depression hit us allShe never spoke to usShe would lock herself up in her roomSurround herself with darknessRefuse help

All she wanted to do was be alone

But again such lonesomeDrove her to madness

Almost taking her away from meOne day as I waked into her room

And saw the bottle of pills lie next to herShe wanted to take her life away

No longer was my family

The unbreakable family I believe we wereI would no longer laugh

Talk or even spend time with my siblingThe soil became dryThin and created crackswhich began to separate us allOur house felt empty

Yet it was full

The drought pushed me much too farI let the cracks become bigger

And drove myself to a dry placeA place no tree could ever growI lived under the burning sun

That dried up my hopesHopes i had for ever going backto my perfect family

Hopes I had for growing up with a present momHopes I had for ever being my condent selfHopes, Hopes, Hopes

All gone

The drought dried up my happinessMy berries dried blue

And sorrowfulI became lifeless

And my innocent greenAnd condent scale-like needled I hadWere gone

All around me I had nothingBut rage, resentment, and disappointment

With my mom,My familyAnd especially within myself

My rage was powerful like a Juniper Trees BarkI was able to start a reCause problems

Throw tantrums out of spiteScream and talk back to everyoneFight with my siblingsBe unappreciativePush away all who tried to help meOnly to get things my wayNo

My momThe one personWho I always wanted to understand meThe one personWho I blamed for all my awsThe one personWho I believed never noticed meFinally changed

It took 5 years5 yearsFor the never ending drought

To be over5 years

For rain to fall back into my life

Rain that brought my familyBack to lifeIt gave my family our laughter backOur faith

And above allIt gave us all strength

Rain gave me strength to changeAnd let my branches sproutIt gave me the faith

To believe in myselfAnd learn from my hardshipsIt taught me to stand in the toughest weathers

And it gave me an understanding of my mom

My mom,Who taught me the greatest lessons in lifeShe taught me that there is more to life

Than getting the things I wantShe taught me that no matter how hard the fallOr how bad the weather isI must learn to stand up on my ownShe taught me to beResilientDetermined

And a ghter

I was blessed

With a life that although it wasnt essayIt challenged meIf it wasnt for the drought

And rain whichThat tested me and gave meThe skills I needed to be strongI would have been frail and unwise

I am a twistedYet beautiful Juniper TreeI will raise up highInto the deep blue skyI will let my rootsExtend deeperInto the smooth rich soilI will follow my dreams

And accomplish all my goalsI have set in lifeI will go to college

And thrive to successI will see the world from different

And higher perspectivesI will appreciate

All the little thingsLife gives can only give outBut above allI will be me

Above All I Will Be Me!sarah gama


15/24

ARC Summer 2012 15

Joe Procino once said, Live each day as youwould climb a mountain. An occasional glancetowards the summit puts the goal in mind.

Many beautiful scenes can be observed fromeach new vantage point. Climb steadily, slowly,enjoy each passing moment; and the view fromthe summit will serve as a tting climax to thejourney. Throughout these 40 days in ARC, Iclimbed many mountains, saw many differentand higher perspectives from which I learned alot. Each and every climb was a challenge thatpushed me past my limits towards a stronger,more responsible, and, above, all braver me.

During these 40 days, ARC has taught me thatlife can be a climb and the best thing I can dois keep moving forward. On our rst expedi-tion, we hiked up to Mt. Tallac, one of the

highest peaks in Lake Tahoe. That morning aswe began our hike, I was thinking a lot aboutmy family and the time I was going to be awayfrom home. As I hiked higher and higher upthe mountain, my legs began to shake andfeel weak. My muscles burned and my bodyached. I felt as if my knees would shatter intoseparate pieces leaving my muscles and tendonsexposed. There was a tight knot in my chestthat did not let me breathe. I tried to catch mybreath by stopping but it only made the hikeharder. As the elevation increased my handsand ngers began to swell. I hardly recognizedthe difference between my thumbs and mypinkies. As the peak of Mount Tallac got closer,I felt as if I could no longer hike. I wanted togive up. Keep moving forward! I told myself.You cant stop, I repeated. Higher and higherI began to see that I was getting closer to theclear blue sky above me. I saw people passby smiling as they hiked down the mountain.Beautiful view, they would say, somethingthat motivated me to make it to the top. WhenI reached the top of Mt. Tallac my heart beganto pound harder. I felt like crying. Wow, Isaid to myself. I had never seen such a beautifulsight before. That was the rst time I saw Lake

Tahoe in person. I felt as if I was standing onthe top of the world as I saw the lake. The viewof Lake Tahoe was so impactful that it mademy climb worth it. I learned that no matter how

hard the climb, I must keep hiking forward. Ilearned I must never give up on my goals likegraduating high school, going to college andmaking my parents proud. ARC is an experi-ence I will remember for the rest of my life.

To have courage is not to be without fear, butto act in response to ones own true being.-Brother Ramos. I learned that I have thecourage to choose the right moments when tobring out bravery. On our third expedition, weencountered one of the hardest hikes down

Needle Pass. Never, had I been as afraid ofheights as I was that day. We needed to getto our campsite and the only way to get there

was to hike down the pass. As I looked downI could see the steep gravel downhill and the

white snow piled to my left. Why not justroll down the hill? Youll get there faster. Itold myself, trying to be humorous in orderto forget my fears. As we began to hike downNeedle Pass, every stepI took I remained steadyand silent. It was rainingand I didnt want to rushmyself or try to rushChristina, the person infront of me. I felt thatif I rushed, I wouldcause us to fall down.

I was frightened anddidnt want to hike muchfurther. My fear becamegreater as I heard Mariacry out for help and sawOwen and Evelina leaveChristina in the front ofthe line. My heart sank tomy stomach because weall became immobile fora while. I noticed it wasbecoming more difcultto stand still because myfeet were beginning to slide. I noticed Christinaneeded help, and the only way to help her wasif someone moved past her and helped herdown. I couldnt stand being behind any longerseeing her hands and legs shake as she began toslide. I looked down at the pass once more andthen I stabbed my hiking pole in the groundand work my way past her. With every step Itook on the slippery gravel, my heart poundedfaster and faster. All of a sudden, Oh Sarah!I heard Stephany yell out. I had slipped but Imanaged to stop myself from going downhill.

As I stood up, I worked my way in front Chris-tina and held her hand. I walked her down thepass and did not let her go until we were bothsafe. My fall made me realize that no matterhow scared or how frightening a fall could be, Imust stand up on my own and be brave enough

to risk my own safety and help someone. Thisis a lesson I want to remember for the rest ofmy life in order to help people.

Before ARC, I was very dependent on myparents and siblings to do things for me. I waslazy and didnt help much around at home. Ihad hardly any sense of responsibility and I

would always blame my sibling or my momif I did something wrong. I was ungratefuland a grumpy teen who needed to grow upand be responsible. Throughout the 40 days

course I have learned to become much moreresponsible. On our very last expedition, myjob was leader of the day. We were to travel

cross country over 5 different peaks. I wasnervous and scared because it was my rst timebeing a leader on an expedition but my last timebeing leader of the day in the entire course. I

wanted my last time to be my best time and toshow improvement. I wanted to show I had

responsibility for myOhana. The beginningof the hike was difcultbecause we went upto the wrong peaks. It

was difcult to nd outwhere we were becausewe were still learninghow to travel cross-

country. My patienceto nd safe routes andkeep myself focusedbecame a challenge. Ireally wanted to makesure my Ohana weresafe and we were alltogether. One peak afterthe next, we hiked alongthe ridgeline. We madeit down steep and rockyareas, through bushes

with dry branches andthorns that would stick to our clothes and pokeus badly. It took 12 hours for my Ohana and Ito make it to Mr. Pond, our destination. Being aleader wasnt easy. It took a lot of responsibilityfor me to take care of my Ohana and myself. Ihad to nd ways to motivate the team and ndsafe ways to get them through difcult areas. Ilearned a lot from the nal expedition as leaderof the day. I learned to take care of others andbe responsible in nding safe routes throughthe wilderness. I will take home the responsibil-ity I learned and use it to choose the right pathsI need for school.

My life is like a mountain that I will keep onclimbing. Ill struggle to get to the top, feel likeI wont make it, and run out of air, but whenI reach the top and look down at what I just

came over, Ill see the view and have a differentperspective on life than I had before. I needto be brave and move forward. I need to beresponsible with the steps I take as I hike tomake it safely to the top. I know that no matterthe struggles in life, Mother Nature is beautifuland she never gives up on me. She puts chal-lenges in front of me so that I can grow muchstronger than we could ever have imagined.My life is a climb and I must keep climbing. Imust keep growing, and no matter what I mustalways keep moving forward.

My Climb


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16 ARC Summer 2012

I am an innocent baby eagle

Barely hatched out of my delicate, bruised shellI am fragile and defenseless,Nave and unknown to my surroundings.

I am a baby eagleUncertain on whether I am everGoing to get out of the privileged nestMy mother has worked all her lifeTo assemble for me and my brothers.

I am an eagletIm too vulnerable and cowardlyTo hastily explore the indenite risks out thereTo get easily hurt and defeatedWhat if Im not strong enough to survive?

My own close ones damaged meEven when they claimed to love and care for meWithout a doubt, I am weakTo anyone that comes into my life.

Those who have disappointingly hurt meHave such power over me,All their opinions and doubtsHurt me and discourage meBreak my wings one by one, little by littleShattering them into dust and tears.

I have no motivation left,I feel less as a personAs a daughter, as a sisterAs a friend, as my selfLeaving me with no hopeNothing to y towards.

My nest has silently fallen apart many timesMy father destroyed the dream I once hadMy dream to have my distant family together.

Nights consisting of screams,insults and escapesHe destroyed me, my home and my familyBut my mother effectively managed to build itOver and over again,Like the strong eagle she is.

I can still feel the hollow gaps in my nestThey still trouble me at timesI dont believe I can ever beAs incredibly strong as my mother is.

My mother dreams to see me yInto the highest skiesAnd be the admirable eagleI was meant to be.

She believes I am going to beSomeone worthy in life

Since I am someone in hers.

She reminds where I come from.

She reminds meTo not let anyone that wontUnconditionally support meDestroy my goals and dreams.

She reminds meTo not let anyone stop meFrom swiftly ying higherThan she ever could.

She reminds meTo be stronger and more successfulThan she ever was.

I am an eagleI will y above allTowards my independenceTowards my happiness with myselfNot let anyone bring me downMake my mother and brothers proud.

I am going to beThe strong, perseverant eagleMy mother always wished to see in meI will y.

My astonishing wingsWill help me y highAcross the blue endless skiesPushing past my limits

Emerging victoriously.

My hunt will provideOpportunities that willEnhance my virtues.My compassion, determination,And understanding natureWill show the worldWhat I can give.

My outstanding eyesightWill allow me to see lifeAs clearly and openlyAs the most distinguished eagles do.

I am an Eagle

I will not let anyone tell me any differentNo one can hurt meNot my father, not my friendsNot even those who wish to see meGradually fall.

I will not let anyone weaken my enduranceI will not let anyone blind my sightI will not let anyoneDestroy my widely-spreadand powerful wingsOnce again.

I am an EagleI dare you to say that I cantAs I extend my dazzling wingsAnd ercely y towards my bright future.

I Will Fly Above Allstephany fonseca


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ARC Summer 2012 17

Fighting against your own self to trans-form sounds crazy, yet its something that Ihave experienced this summer. I even haveevidence to prove it. I have bruises, insectbites, bee stings, scratches, and dirt all overmy body. Ive lost sweat, tears, blood andpounds on the long expeditions we expe-rienced. In spite of all this, I would never

trade this experience for anything. All theloss and gains are worth it for the changeI feel in myself. My transformation hasenriched my self-condence through eachchallenge I have overcome.

Before this period of transformation, Ididnt believe I could ever complete chal-lenges and found it easy to give up, ornot try at all. Many times I would backdown from what I wanted to do or try. Ithappened many times.I turned down manyopportunities like beingin honors English, play-

ing sports, working andeven interacting withothers. I was alwaystimid when it came toimproving myself in anyaspect. I even startedgetting discouragedby others when I saidI wanted to try some-thing. Since I believedI couldnt do it, othersstarted to believe thesame about me. How-ever, my rst step onstarting to overcome this

was just taking a chanceon the ARC course. Iwanted to go since threeyears ago, yet I nevertook the initiative andjust made up excuses tonot come. I was afraid and nervous to failat all the challenges that were involved, likebeing active, leaving my family behind, andmeeting new people. I even doubted andhesitated to experience this course a weekbefore it started. I reected on all the prosand cons, what Id be getting and losing outof it. Leaving my mother in such a busyworking season was a big thing. But thatwas just another big excuse to not try at all.I nally came to my senses and thought,I will never know if I dont try. I tookthe courage to push myself to be here andactually try. Ive really given it my all here tochange, and because of this small rst stepI can easily push myself to strive in otherthings as well, like hiking, leading, runningand writing my assignments. Ive found thedetermination within me. Thanks to thatone small step of just taking the courage toactually try to be here, I am more respon-sible, and I can push past my limits.

Another flaw similar to my fear of tryingwas my fear of speaking. I would makesure my ideas where ignored just by notspeaking up. I would always just listen toeveryones suggestions and forget aboutmy own. I didnt want anyone to knowwhat I was thinking because Id feel l ikea failure if any of my ideas were turned

down. However, I started noticing that itwas worse if I kept everything to myself,not only because of the frustration I hadwithin me but because I wasnt participat-ing much in the group. Every time I heardsomeone say an idea I had before, I feltashamed that I didnt have the couragenor the confidence to get that idea acrossusing my own words. Day by day, I real-ized that I needed to speak more, and Idid, but every time I tried, Id be really

quiet and let everythingI said be ignored. Itwasnt unti l I was lead-er of the day for my

last time that I realizedthat my ideas wouldalways be at least con-sidered if I consideredthem myself. It wasmy first time beingleader of the day on anexpedition, and I hadthe whole day plannedout, but the plans hadchanged after arrivingat our break spot. Wewere going to take aday to relax, practiceour poems and stay at

that lake. After gettingthis change of plans, Iimmediately threw outa plan for the day thatwould be great for thewhole group. Everyone

loved and enjoyed the plan that was given,and it was the main point of my leader ofthe day feedback. I realized that everyonewanted to hear more from me, and that Ishouldnt ever be scared to speak out anyideas or suggestions that I have.

Trying to see anything worthy in myselfand thinking I was never good enough foranything was something I had a problemwith before these 40 days. I came herewith very low self-esteem, and with noconfidence within myself at all. I didntthink Id be able to survive here. I alwaysthought on the negative side of things. Iwas very quiet, shy and afraid. I was usu-ally put down for the tiny flaws I have,to the point where I started believing it.I didnt feel happy with who I was. Butas the days went by and insightful experi-ences occurred, I felt a change come overme. My Ohana helped me by being sup-

portive and encouraging. They unleashedmy true self from its chains by being rolemodels and close friends. Now, I feelmore accomplished, more determined,happier, and stronger within myself. I cannow start setting goals for myself withoutdoubting them. I feel happier, and becauseof this I can face life with a big smile on

my face. I know that I can be so strong ifI set my mind to it and I am going to. Ihave discovered who I really am. I am car-ing, cheerful and deliberate. I have foundthe virtues that I had all along and I valuemy self-worth.

I never realized the beautiful and amazingthings I am blessed with. I am now moreappreciative. Not only am I appreciativeof what Ive found within myself this pasfew days, but also of all the things lifehas blessed me with this past few years.All the challenges I ve slowly confrontedthese 40 days. Hiking for hours in wide

forests, meeting new people that you startappreciating, kayaking miles on the lakeand being away from my home and myfamily have made me see my life from anew perspective. As I hiked for long tiringhours, I always thought about how manythings I have at home. Many of the mate-rial things I have, shoes, clothes, phone,ipod, computer and more are things thatothers wish they had. Ive always beenknown as being spoiled or rich. Butall those things dont make me feel happynor better. I started realizing the greatthing about that me having all these thingsis that I worked as hard as my mom does

to get those little things I have. But I havealso realized that I have more in me thanall those materials things. I have a greatfamily. I have a great mother that worksreally hard to bring everything to our fam-ily. As I kayaked through the beautiful emerald waters of Lake Tahoe, I recognizedevery blessing I had, especially where Ilive. Not only did I realize that I live in adivine, clear lake but that I have a beauti-ful home. I live with an amazing familythat was given to me after I thought I hadlost it. My eyes have been opened to thegreat blessings I have. I see life in a newperspective; A perspective that I have en-joyed looking through to help me see thegreat treasures in life.

Robert Taylor once said, Within everyman is a creature against whom he muststruggle in order to rise up, to improvehimself. I strug gled within my own selfthis summer. But after every challenge Iwent through, I was able to gain strengthI needed to transform. The one armorI needed grew within me, my self-confi-dence. I transformed not only physically,but mentally and emotionally.

I Know Who I Found This Summer


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18 ARC Summer 2012

I was an innocent eaglet hiding in the nest.I desired to yas an eaglet dreams to touch the skyI was scared to leave the protectionto face the new, unfamiliar world alone.My wings were tiny and softlike an eagletI struggled to nd a way outwith every part of my body.

I was a lonely eaglet,living in China without my parents.I could not forget the tears

on their faces and minebefore they went to Australia and America.I lived in the dormwith students who were older than mefrom kindergartenthrough elementary school.

I was a frustrated eagletIn a big city with only a small spacethat was my own.I lived with my aunt,whose husband sold my books for beer.Many timesI was woken up at night

With tears in my eyesBy their ghting and screaming

I could not nd a person who I trustedTo express my feelingsNone of my friends in schoolknew about my pastI was ashamedthat my wings were brokenin the stiff storm.

My family broke apartI could not nd a place where I belonged.I could not nd a wayto approach my dreams.Like a lost eaglet

That accidently lost its directionin the woods.I wanted to leaveTo leave the pain, the violence,And peoples judgementsI suddenly realizedthat I was not strong enoughto live without parents love.

I was a cowardly eagle learning how to y.My mother brought me to America,with the belief for a better life.We created a new family.We live with my new father

and a 4-year-old sister.In a beautiful house with my own bedroom,My mom give me everything I want.

In school,I was challenged to learn a new language,Meet new friends, andAdapt to a new culture.They put me in ELD Level 1The challenge didnt weight me downBut made me strongerAfter 2 years,I was able to study in honor and AP classesI graduatedNow, I am going to collegeI step closer to my dream.

I am a teenage eaglewandering around the river of life.I mended my broken wingspiece by piece, carefully.I see love, faith, challenge, and responsibility.They lead me to look inside.

I have to give loveif I want to receive it from others.I have to challenge myselfin order to grow up.

I am a growing eagle,Building a stable foundationfor a bright future.I found myself in silenceI am strong enoughto nd my own way to surviveI catch every opportunity in my lifeI push myself to over my limits

I believe and seek the harbor of hope

I hope to y independently,As a powerful eagleacross the mountains and ocean.I am challenging myselfto discover my strength.I am developing a stronger heart and mind.I hope to be successful in my careerand to contribute to society.To give my generosity, enthusiasmand grace to those who need helpI hope to make my parents proud ofeverything I do.

My dear mom,Thanks for giving me everything I wanted,but what I need is your understanding.My beloved family,If my immature action hurts you,Please forgive me.I will create my own life in the future.Please encourage mewhen I am falling.Please motivate mewhen I lose my faith

One day I will be an adult eagleying across the river of life.I will leave my parents arms.and face the challenges independently.I will nd a path to successfor myself and future generations.I will freely wave my wingsto show my strength condently.I will open my heart and soul,to kiss the sky.

An Eagle Flying Along the River of Life

yilin wang


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ARC Summer 2012 19

Twenty years from now you will be more disap-pointed by the things that you didnt do than by theones you did do. - Mark Twain.I was a cowardly girl who traveled in material cit-ies. I depended on my parents to make decisionsfor me and never appreciated anything they did. Ithought that my life was colorful because I lived inthe middle of the city with shopping centers, movietheaters, and fancy restaurants. I am glad that I

was not sat isfied with my life. I chose to leave myfamilys protection to see another side of the world.

When I stood on Mount Tallac with my dir ty andsweaty body, I realized how small and short-sightedI was. I never knew the world could be such anamazingly beautiful place. I have just experiencedthe most meaningful and valuable forty-days that Ihave ever had in my entire life. I am proud of howmuch I learned, grew from challenges and howmuch I have changed and improved myself.

I was standing on the edge of the Needle Passtrying to walk down. It was steep and dangerous. Ifelt paralyzed and found it impossible to move evenone small step. I was in the middle of the line, andI could not go back. I encouraged myself and myfriends, even though I had never been scared likethat before. The line was moving very slowly, andI heard a few people screaming which made memore nervous. Standing in the same position withmy heavy backpack made me tired and I wantedto get out of there. I looked at the view so I couldforget the danger and my hunger. I felt that NeedleLake was close to me, but it was still too far awayto reach. After a few minutes, the weather startedthundering and raining. I almost cried. I reallyhoped that we could move faster, but we had to

wait for everyone, since we are Ohana. Hones tly, Iwas mad , and I compla ined to the person behindme. I had to keep moving, because the longer ittook the more dangerous it was. There were twoinstructors helping one person who was afraid ofheights. I did not want to give them more trouble,so I had to deal with my fears on my own. Finally,

we moved with small steps to the trail . Th is pit i-ful excuse for a path was createdonly moments ago by an instruc-tors kick steps. I took a deepbreath. The whole group hugged.I tried to hide my anger and emo-tions, because we still had thingsthat were more important to do.

When I look back this exper iencenow, I still cannot believe thatI did this. Sometimes in life, wehave to push ourselves to face ourfears and find a way out, because

we have no chance to g o back tomake a change. If we do not pushour limits, we will never discoverour strength and know how pow-erful we are.On my solo day, I woke up atnight and my eyes were caught bythe thousands of stars above me. I could not fallback to sleep again because I was accompanied bythe cold and some fear. A lot of things came to mymind. I appreciated that ARC gave me an opportu-nity to reflect about myself and my life at home. MyOhana, my family, made me discover more aboutmyself. All of u s had our own responsibilities, and

we have to work tog ether to f inish things perfect ly.

I never knew that I could be so important and help-ful. I thought that I was a great daughter in my realfamily, because I respected my parents and got goodgrades in school. In reality, I did not care about any-thing at home but myself. After leaving them for amonth without being able to call them, I cherish myfamily more. In ARC, I cook, clean up after meals,and take care of my friends. At home, I did noteven wash dishes or look after my 4-year-old sister.I can hike 12 hours a day with the heaviest backpackthat I have ever carried. At home, I called my fatherto pick me up at bus stop, even though it was only afive minute walk to my house. I get up at six oclockevery day to exercise and finish all the assignmentsthat I need do in a day. At home, I woke up at noonand spent more than 8 hours a day on the computerduring vacations. I feel extremely remorseful abouthow my actions affected my parents and myself.

When I go to college, I will have less and less t imeto spend with my family. After going home, I wantto use every moment to show them how much Itreasure them and do as well as possible.

Peoples trust and understanding changed me froma follower to a leader. On our third expedition, Iexperienced my hardest day of the course. We hiked12 hours to Tinkers Knob. I was the leader of theday, and it was my most challenging leadershipexperience. In the morning, we went two milesdownhill and traveled cross-country. Nga and I hadto find the easiest way for the group. I also neededto take care of a few people who were scared ofheights. I tried to pick up the pace, but the groupcould not stay together. Jocelyn helped me tocheck the way so I could pay more attention to thegroup. It took 6 hours before getting to the trail. Icould not find a place to have lunch while we weretraveling cross-country. We were all hungry andexhausted. Some people complained about those

who wa lked slowly. I did not want anyone of themto get

Documents

ARC Tahoe/Truckee Memory Book