Workshop on assertiveness.

NOTHING IS SO STRONG AS GENTLENESS NOTHING IS SO GENTLE AS REAL STRENGTH. Ralph Stockman. If I do not take care of myself, who else will do it for me? But if I think only of myself, what kind of person am I? Hillel.MOL TRAINING CENTRE (INDIA)

Objectives Understand Assertiveness and it importance in the workplace. Distinguish Assertiveness from Aggressiveness and Non Assertiveness. Learn about the barriers to Assertiveness. Master the three components of Assertiveness.MOL TRAINING CENTRE (INDIA)

Assertiveness

Standing up to rights. Expressing Feelings

* Honestly * Directly

Stating opinions/preferences. * Appropriately

Asking for what you want

* Respecting others rights

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Signals of Assertiveness. Steady pleasant voice. Good eye contact.

Relaxed Body language.Ability to listen. Facing up to issues.MOL TRAINING CENTRE (INDIA)

Characteristics of an Assertive Person. He feels free to reveal himself.

He can communicate with people on all levels. (Direct, Honest, Open communication) He has an active orientation to life. He acts in a way he himself respects.

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Types of Behavior.

Non Assertive MOL TRAINING CENTRE (INDIA)

Aggressive Passive Aggressive Assertive.

Advantages of being Assertive. Increases chances of attaining our goals. Improves / Maintains our relationship.

Improves self esteem.Improves psychological health / self confidence. Improves physiological health. Obviates Stress.MOL TRAINING CENTRE (INDIA)

Signs of Aggressiveness.

Refusal to listen. Shouting Using intimidating body language. Interrupting. Using obvious put-downs. Swearing

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Receiving End of Aggressiveness. Threatened Angry / Hostile Resentful Scared Secretive Vengeful Uncooperative.MOL TRAINING CENTRE (INDIA)

Receiving end of Indirect Aggression.

Confused Frustrated. Resentful. Hurt Outraged Resistant

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Signals of Indirect Aggression. Moodiness Sarcasm Manipulative behavior Unexplained sighing / door slamming. Etc Creation of uneasy atmosphere. Back biting Tantrum Throwing. Emotional Blackmail.MOL TRAINING CENTRE (INDIA)

Signals of Non Assertiveness.Martyrdom Self Pity Low energy Lack of ideas. Whining. Special pleading. Depressive body language. Stress.MOL TRAINING CENTRE (INDIA)

AGGRESSIVE

Power over

NON ASSERTIVE

Overpowered

ASSERTIVE

Power within.

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Causes of Non Assertiveness.

Fear of displeasing others. Fear of rejection. Fear of retaliation. Mistaken sense of responsibility. Hurt feeling guilt issue. Misinformation about basic human rights. Catastrophizing thoughts. Hidden payoffs.MOL TRAINING CENTRE (INDIA)

Basic Assertive rights. Right to be treated with respect. The right to be listened to and taken seriously. The right to refuse a request / right to say NO. The right to ask for what you want. The right to express opinions. The right to express beliefs and feelings. The right to make mistakes. The right to be successful. The right to be assertive.MOL TRAINING CENTRE (INDIA)

Basic Assertive Rights Contd.The right to set my own goals in life and strive to attain them. The right to change my mind. The right to say I do not know / understand The right to get what you pay for. The right to take time to think before agreeing / deciding. The right to privacyMOL TRAINING CENTRE (INDIA)

Basic Assertive Rights contd.

Right to hold my own values. The right to change. The right to ask for more information. The right to be the ultimate judge of ones thoughts, feelings and behavior. The right to be oneself. the right to be ME.MOL TRAINING CENTRE (INDIA)

Personal Rights in Workplace. The right to make occasional mistakes. The right to ask for assistance or guidance. The right to training and opportunity to develop existing skills and learn new ones. The right to receive credit and acknowledgement for achievements. The right to give constructive criticism to staff about performance and behavior The right to know how my manager sees my performance.MOL TRAINING CENTRE (INDIA)

Personal Rights at workplace contd. Right to be treated with respect irrespective of position or status. Right to say NO to unreasonable requests. Right to be clear on what is expected of me. Right to ask for extra time to complete a task. Right to ask for time before deciding. Right to be consulted on decisions that affect me or my staff. Right to be heard by the manager, colleagues and staff.MOL TRAINING CENTRE (INDIA)

Responsibilities versus Rights.

Assertiveness Fulcrum Rights and Responsibilities. I recognize I have rights as well as Responsibilities. I have no right to infringe on the rights of others. I give the same rights to others that I give myself. I assert my rights in a reasonable and responsible way.

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Assertive Script components ..(DESC) Describe : When you. When I When Express: I feel, Explain : Then.. Empathize : I understand that you.. Specify: I would prefer want I would like.. Choose : If you do If you do not .

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Assertive communication principles. Mutual Respect. Focusing on issues, not person. Descriptive language. Maintaining the self-esteem of others. Taking initiative to make things better. Leading by example. Rapport (find mutual wavelength) Verbal and non verbal congruence.MOL TRAINING CENTRE (INDIA)