ASSERTIVENESS

WHAT IS ASSERTIVENESS?Assertiveness is about self confidence which means having a positive attitude towards yourself and others.

Ten Points about Assertive Behaviours 1-It depends on expressing yourself2-Showing respects to others rights3-Being honest4-Indirect and certain 5-Mutual equilibrim and benefit is important in a relationship6-It is expressing emotions, rights, realities, thoughts and boundaries by words7-Using non-verbal comminication for sending the message8-It is not universal, it depends on the position and the individual9-It is getting social responsibility10-It is not the nature of the hunamkind, it can be learned

Being Assertive 1-Being assertive is focusing on your goal2-Being assertive is being self-aware3-Being assertive is being true to yourself4-Being assertive is building self esteem5-Being assertive is nurturing yourself.

TYPES OF ASSERTIVENESSNon-assertive behaviour

I am not ok,you are ok Assertive behaviour

I am ok,you are ok Aggresive behaviour

I am ok,you are not ok Manipulative behaviour

I am not ok,you are not ok

Agressive ---Agressive

Aggresive---Passive

Assertive---Passive

Positive attitude and assertive behaviourSelf confidence and high self esteemRespect for self and towards othersTake responsibility for selfMotivated to do a good jobnterested in others feelings and thoughtsAsk questionsHonest and directListen to othersAsk others for feedback

ASSERTIVENESS BY VERBAL AND NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION

It aint what you say, it is the way that you say it

Tonation

I will phone you It will be me not any other personI will phone you I will not forget!I will phone you I will not write or visit.I will phone you It will be you,not any other person.

Faces and the looksEye signalBody imagePersonal spaceThe gesture

SAYING YES OR NO

Why is it difficult to say no? If I say no,they may feel hurt or injectedIf I say no this time, they may not like me anymoreIf I say no this time,they may never ask againThey wont take any notice if I say noThey would say yes to me (and so I will feel guilty if I refuse them)I cant say no, because I feel sorry for them

How to say no assertively?

Start your reply with a clear,firm,audible noDo not justify or make excuses.Giving a reason is different from over-appologizingFeel that you have a right to say noOnce you have said no , do not stay around waiting to be persuaded to change your mind.Make a definite closure by changing the subject,walking away, continiuing with what you are doing-whatever is appropriate

How to say no assertively?Remember you are saying no to that particular request,not rejecting the personIf the request takes you unawares or you have not sufficent time to think when asked,you can always say, I will let you know in order to give yourself time to think about what you want to sayTake responsibility for saying no-do not blame the other person for asking youAsk for more information if you need it in order to decide whether you want to say yes or no

Why is it difficult to say yes?

I dont deserve itThey might not really mean itI am not really sure that is what I wantI dont have enough information

How to say yes assertively

Say yes clearly and definitelyIdentify why you would find it difficultExamine thoughts realistically and ask yourselfHaving calarified thughts for yourself then reaffirm your desire to say yes

Combining yes and no

yes and no may be combined assertively to define what we want or what our limits are in a particular situation.

THE IMPORTANCE OF ASSERTIVENESS IN ORGANISATIONSAssertivenessPersonal identityWages or salarySatisfaction from exercising skillsSatisfaction from helping peopleSocial environment

Need to dealing withTheirselvesThe manager to whom they reportTheir colleaguesTheir subordinatesClients or customers