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128 F
LA
SH
BA
CK
S
Am
bu
sh
ed
by
the
Ha
rva
rd S
qu
are
s
129
bw:o.c.ziA.tvawor.
"That's o
ur sp
ecia
lty here
. Would
you like
to te
ll me w
hat yo
u h
ave
in m
ind
?"
I ha
ve
this
frien
d w
ho
's a
ve
ry im
po
rtan
t ma
n. H
e's
imp
resse
d b
y
what I've
told
him
about m
y ow
n L
SD
exp
erie
nce
s and w
hat o
ther p
eople
ha
ve
told
him
. lie w
an
ts to
try it h
imse
lf. So
I'm h
ere
to le
arn
ho
w
to d
o it. I m
ea
n, I d
on
't wa
nt to
go
of u
p o
r som
eth
ing
." "W
hy d
on't y
ou h
ave y
our im
porta
nt frie
nd c
om
e h
ere
with
you to
look o
ver o
ur p
roje
ct fo
r a c
ouple
of d
ays. T
hen if it m
akes s
ense to
all co
nce
rned, w
e'll ru
n a
sessio
n fo
r him
." "O
ut o
f the
qu
estio
n. M
y frien
d is a
pu
blic fig
ure
. It's just n
ot p
ossib
le."
"Pe
op
le in
volve
d in
po
we
r usu
ally d
on't m
ake
the b
est su
bje
cts."
"Lo
ok," sa
id M
ary P
inch
ot, "I've
he
ard
Alle
n G
insb
erg
on
rad
io a
nd
TV
show
s sayin
g th
at if K
hru
shch
ev a
nd K
ennedy w
ould
take
LS
D to
-
ge
the
r the
y'd
en
d w
orld
co
nflic
t. Isn
't tha
t the
ide
a—
to g
et p
ow
erfu
l
men to
turn
on?"
"Alle
n sa
ys tha
t, bu
t I've n
eve
r ag
ree
d. P
rem
ier K
hru
shch
ev sh
ou
ld
turn
on
with
his w
ife in
the
com
fort a
nd
secu
rity of h
is Kre
mlin
be
dro
om
.
Sam
e fo
r Kennedy."
"Don't y
ou th
ink th
at if a
pow
erfu
l pers
on w
ere
to tu
rn o
n w
ith h
is
wife
or g
irlfrien
d it w
ou
ld b
e g
oo
d fo
r the
wo
rld?
"
.• "N
oth
ing th
at in
volve
s bra
in-ch
ange is ce
rtain
. But in
genera
l we b
e-
lieve
that fo
r anyo
ne w
ho's re
aso
nably h
ealth
y and h
appy, th
e in
tellig
ent
thin
g to
do is
to ta
ke a
dvanta
ge o
f the m
ultip
le re
alitie
s a
vaila
ble
to
the h
um
an b
rain
." "D
o yo
u th
ink th
at th
e w
orld
wo
uld
be
a b
ette
r pla
ce if m
en
in p
ow
er
had L
SD
exp
erie
nce
s?"
"Lo
ok a
t the
wo
rld," I sa
id. "N
ucle
ar b
om
bs p
rolife
ratin
g. M
ore
arid
more
countrie
s run b
y milita
ry dicta
tors. N
o p
olitica
l creativity. It's tim
e
to try so
meth
ing, a
nyth
ing n
ew
and p
rom
ising."
offe
red
he
r som
e C
alifo
rnia
she
rry from
a h
alf g
allo
n ju
g, b
ut sh
e
ma
de
a cu
te little
face
an
d in
vited
me
ou
t for ch
am
pa
gn
e. S
he
con
tinu
ed
askin
g m
e q
uestio
ns a
s we sa
t in th
e co
cktail lo
unge. W
hen I ro
se t
go
ba
ck to m
y office
, she
invite
d m
e to
ha
ve d
inn
er. I su
gg
este
d th
at
she co
me a
long to
New
ton C
ente
r to e
at a
t my h
ouse
, where
the kid
s
were
waitin
g. W
hen w
e w
alke
d in
, Mala
ca fla
shed a
hostile
gla
nce
at
Mary, th
en re
cove
red a
nd g
reete
d h
er w
ith F
rench
-acce
nte
d ch
arm
. W
e n
ever g
ot to
eat. M
ichael H
oliin
gshead m
ixed d
rinks, g
ot a
bit
psy, a
nd sta
rted le
cturin
g a
bout b
rain
dru
gs. M
ary h
elp
ed M
ala
ca a
nd
e p
rep
are
din
ne
r for th
e k
ids, a
nd
late
r we
fou
r too
k a
low
do
of
Mushro
om
s a
nd s
at a
round th
e fire
. Mic
hael w
as in
top fo
rm,
clin
g
out h
igh-sp
ots o
f form
er se
ssions. B
ehin
d h
is wild
com
edy h
e w
as te
ach
ing
Ma
ty a
bo
ut th
e p
rob
lem
s o
f inn
er n
avig
atio
n: h
ow
to d
ea
l with
the
m,
”ianwir..1-o011:atA
LT..tiraildAlilunt.W
AIK
KA
IRA
RR
IMIC
KV
INE
MIN
AN
IVIN
SIM
OR
IMO
SO
MM
EM
Anad
O'C
onnell sh
ot m
e th
at p
are
nta
l look—
patie
nt, p
atro
nizin
g, p
rote
ctive.
"Tim
oth
y, I don't kn
ow
what w
e're
goin
g to
do w
ith yo
u. M
ayb
e yo
u've
be
en
smo
king
too
mu
ch o
f tha
t fun
ny stu
ff. Yo
u're
living
in a
dre
am
."
"Wh
at d
o yo
u m
ean
?"
"Le
t me
give
you
som
e fa
cts ab
ou
t wh
at's h
ap
pe
nin
g in
the
rea
l wo
rld.
Suppose
I told
you th
at th
ere
are
som
e p
eople
in th
e g
ove
rnm
ent w
ho've
spent $
25 m
illion to
researc
h th
ese d
rugs o
f yours
. Secre
tly. A
lot o
f
it right h
ere
in th
e H
arva
rd m
edica
l school."'
O'C
onnell b
rushed a
way m
y o
bje
ctio
ns. "N
ow
this
is b
etw
een y
ou
and m
e a
nd th
e P
ope, yo
u u
ndersta
nd, b
ut so
me ve
ry pow
erfu
l people
in W
ash
ingto
n h
ave
sponso
red a
ll this d
rug re
search
, and th
ey a
re b
ehin
d
you
r rece
nt tro
ub
les h
ere
. Th
ey w
an
t to sto
p yo
u."
"Wh
y?"
"Well, fo
r starte
rs this fe
llow
Pro
fesso
r Kelm
an w
ho b
rought th
e p
ress
do
wn
on
yo
u is
no
t just je
alo
us o
f yo
u p
ers
on
ally
. He
's fu
nd
ed
by a
CIA
front ca
lled th
e E
colo
gy F
und."
I rem
em
bere
d K
elm
an's in
tern
atio
nal ju
nke
ts and fe
dera
l support.'
"That's
the w
ay it is
," replie
d O
'Connell s
oberly
. "These g
uys in
Wash
ingto
n a
re g
ood p
atrio
tic Am
erica
ns, a
nd th
ey h
ave
to d
o th
ings
un
de
r the
tab
le n
ow
an
d th
en
, like a
nyo
ne
else
. Th
ey're
ou
r tea
m a
ga
inst
the
Ru
sskies, T
imm
y, and
they p
lay fo
r keeps in
that le
ague. T
here
's
noth
ing w
rong w
ith s
endin
g s
mart fe
llow
s lik
e th
is K
elm
an to
fore
ign
univ
ers
ities to
pro
tect o
ur in
tere
sts
. So I h
ope a
word
to th
e w
ise is
su
fficie
nt. W
hy d
on
't yo
u g
ive
up
this
dru
g w
ork
? L
et th
e C
IA p
lay
with
dru
gs. Y
ou
've g
ot a
fine
care
er g
oin
g fo
r you
he
re a
t Ha
rvard
. Yo
u
cou
ld b
eco
me
state
sup
erin
ten
de
nt o
f me
nta
l he
alth
—a
s lon
g a
s you
do
n't
step o
n to
es th
at yo
u sh
ould
n't b
e ste
ppin
g o
n. If yo
u se
e w
hat I m
ean."
I tha
nke
d O
'Co
nn
ell a
nd
rea
ssure
d h
im.
"Good lu
ck, T
imm
y," s
aid
O'C
onnell. "K
eep y
our n
ose c
lean. A
nd
don't fo
rget w
hat I'm
tellin
g yo
u. T
here
are
som
e. im
porta
nt p
eople
in
Wa
shin
gto
n ve
ry inte
reste
d in
wh
at yo
u're
do
ing
. An
d th
ey'll b
e w
atch
ing
your n
ext m
ove
s."
Hardly a w
eek had passed before the complications suggested by Inspec-
tor O
'Co
nn
ell to
ok o
n a
curio
us tw
ist. Wh
ile sittin
g a
t my d
esk I lo
oke
d
up
to se
e a
wo
ma
n le
an
ing
ag
ain
st the
do
or p
ost, h
ip tilte
d p
rovo
cative
ly,
studyin
g m
e w
ith a
bold
stare
. She a
ppeare
d to
he in
her la
te th
irties.
Good lo
okin
g. F
lam
boya
nt e
yebro
ws, p
iercin
g g
reen-b
lue e
yes, fin
e-b
oned
face
. Am
use
d, a
rrog
an
t, aristo
cratic. "D
r. Le
ary," sh
e sa
id co
ollyy. I've
got to
talk to
you."
She to
ok a
few
steps fo
rward
and h
eld
out h
er h
and. "I'm
Mary P
inch
ot.
I've co
me fro
m W
ash
ingto
n to
discu
ss som
eth
ing ve
ry importa
nt. I w
ant
to le
arn
how
to ru
n a
n L
SD
sessio
n."
154 F
LA
SH
BA
CK
S
Fare
well to
Harv
ard
155
askin
g in
tellig
ent q
uestio
ns a
bout th
e re
latio
nsh
ip o
f dru
g sta
tes to
hyp
- nosis. O
ne fa
ll afte
rnoon I re
ceiv
ed a
phone c
all fro
m M
ary
Pin
chot, m
y
myste
rious visito
r from
Wash
ingto
n. "C
an yo
u m
eet m
e rig
ht a
way in
R
oo
m 7
17
, Ritz H
ote
l?"
At th
e d
oor I p
ause
d to
smooth
my sh
irt in m
y trouse
rs and h
and-b
rush
m
y hair. E
nch
antin
g a
s befo
re, sh
e m
otio
ned to
a silve
r ice b
ucke
t with
a b
ottle
of D
om
Perig
non tiltin
g o
ut. "I'n
s here
to ce
lebra
te," sh
e sa
id.
I twis
ted
the
bo
ttle to
ma
ke
the
co
rk p
op
ge
ntly
. "Yo
ur h
ush
-hu
sh
lo
ve a
ffair is g
oin
g w
ell?
" "O
h ye
s. Eve
rythin
g is g
oin
g b
eautifu
lly. On a
ll fronts in
fact. I ca
n't
give
deta
ils, of co
urse
. But to
p people
in W
ash
ingto
n a
re tu
rnin
g o
n.
You'd
be a
maze
d a
t the so
phistica
tion o
f sonic o
f our le
aders. A
nd th
eir
wive
s. We
're g
ettin
g a
little g
rou
p to
ge
the
r, pe
op
le w
ho
are
inte
reste
d
in le
arn
ing h
ow
to tu
rn o
n."
"Really. I th
ought p
oliticia
ns w
ere
too p
ow
er-o
riente
d."
"You m
ust re
alize
, impla
usib
le a
s it may se
em
, there
are
a lo
t of ve
ry sm
art p
eople
in W
ash
ingto
n. E
specia
lly now
with
this a
dm
inistra
tion.
Po
we
r is im
porta
nt to
them
. And
these
dru
gs d
o g
ive a
certa
in p
ow
er.
That's w
hat it's a
ll about. F
reein
g th
e m
ind."
She h
eld
out h
er g
lass fo
r more
cham
pagne. "U
ntil ve
ry rece
ntly co
ntro
l o
f Am
erica
n co
nscio
usn
ess w
as a
simp
le m
atte
r for th
e g
uys in
cha
rge
. T
he s
chools
instille
d d
ocility
. The ra
dio
and T
V n
etw
ork
s p
oure
d o
ut
confo
rmity
." "N
o d
oubt a
bout it," I a
gre
ed.
"You m
ay n
ot kn
ow
that d
issident o
rganiza
tions in
aca
dem
ia a
re a
lso
contro
lled. T
he C
IA cre
ate
s the ra
dica
l journ
als a
nd stu
dent o
rganiza
tions
an
d ru
ns th
em
with
de
ep
-cove
r ag
en
ts." "O
h co
me o
n, M
ary," I sa
id. "T
hat so
unds p
retty p
ara
noid
to m
e."
Mary sip
ped a
t her g
lass a
nd sh
ook h
er h
ead. "I h
ate
to b
e th
e o
ne
to b
reak th
e n
ew
s to yo
u. D
o yo
u re
mem
ber th
e A
merica
n V
ete
rans
Co
mm
ittee
, tha
t libe
ral G
I gro
up
you
be
lon
ge
d to
afte
r the
wa
r? T
he
C
IA sta
rted th
at. Ju
st like T
eddy R
oose
velt sta
rted th
e A
merica
n L
egio
n
afte
r the
first Wo
rld W
ar. R
em
em
be
r you
r libe
ral frie
nd
Gilb
ert H
arriso
n?
H
e ra
n th
e ra
dica
ls out o
f AV
C. A
nd
late
r he
bo
ug
ht th
e N
ew R
epublic—th
at so
-calle
d p
rogre
ssive m
agazin
e—
from
Mich
ael S
traig
ht, yo
ur h
ero
. D
o yo
u kn
ow
wh
y Mich
ae
l Stra
igh
t ba
cked
He
nry W
alla
ce fo
r pre
side
nt
in 1
948? T
o sip
hon lib
era
l vote
s aw
ay fro
m T
rum
an?"
"How
do y
ou k
now
all th
is? H
ow
did
you k
now
I knew
M
ichael
Stra
ight?
" "I kn
ocke
d yo
u w
ith th
ose
facts to
get yo
ur a
ttentio
n. It's a
standard
in
tellig
ence
trick. I could
tell yo
u h
undre
ds o
f little sto
ries like
that."
Sh
e h
eld
ou
t he
r gla
ss ag
ain
. I filled
it, dra
ine
d a
nd
refille
d m
y 0""
My h
ead w
as sp
innin
g.
"And guess w
hat these guys are most interested in right now
?" "D
rugs, I su
ppose
." "Y
ou g
ot it. A
few
years a
go th
ey b
eca
me a
bso
lute
ly obse
ssed w
ith
the n
otio
n th
at th
e S
ovie
ts and th
e C
hin
ese
were
persu
adin
g o
ur P
OW
s in
Kore
a to
defe
ct by b
rain
wash
ing th
em
with
LS
D a
nd m
esca
line."
"That's ce
rtain
ly possib
le. W
ith w
hat w
e've
disco
vere
d a
bout se
t and
settin
g, w
e kn
ow
that a
lmost a
nyo
ne's m
ind ca
n b
e ch
anged in
any d
irec-
tion."
"Any d
irectio
n?"
"With
a m
inim
um
of in
form
atio
n a
bo
ut th
e su
bje
ct's pe
rson
al life
an
d
two o
r thre
e L
SD
sessio
ns, yo
u co
uld
get th
e m
ost co
nve
ntio
nal p
erso
n
to d
o o
utra
ge
ou
s thin
gs."
"Su
pp
ose
the
pe
rson
wa
nte
d to
be
bra
inw
ash
ed
in a
certa
in d
irec-
tion . . w
ante
d to
change h
imse
lf?"
"Easie
r yet. O
ur re
search
is conclu
sive o
n th
is. Changin
g yo
ur m
ind,
.".deve
lopin
g a
new
reality-fix, is a
simple
and stra
ightfo
rward
pro
positio
n.
Of co
urse
, alte
ring yo
ur m
ind is o
ne th
ing. C
hangin
g th
e o
utsid
e w
orld
''to
confo
rm to
your n
ew
vision re
main
s the d
ifficult p
roble
m fo
r us . . ."
I stru;r: le
d fo
r a w
ord
. "Uto
pia
tes."
,1„.. M
ary cla
pped h
er h
ands to
geth
er like
a b
irthday g
irl. "Uto
pia
test B
eauti-
ful. T
hat's
what it's
all a
bout, is
n't it?
Make it a
bette
r world
." She
• sat do
wn
ne
xt to m
e a
nd
he
ld m
y ha
nd
. "L
et's m
ake
a d
eal, a
s one u
topia
te to
anoth
er. I'll te
ll you so
me th
ings
sibo
ut yo
urse
lf tha
t are
very im
po
rtan
t an
d th
en
you
'll tell m
e th
e sa
me
." . "W
ha
t do
you
wa
nt to
kno
w?
" S
he
lau
gh
ed
. "Le
t me
start o
ff. Sin
ce d
rug
rese
arch
is of vita
l imp
or-
_la
nce
to th
e in
tellig
ence
agencie
s of th
is country, yo
u'll b
e a
llow
ed to
,:g
o o
n w
ith yo
ur e
xperim
ents a
s long a
s you ke
ep it q
uie
t. You a
re d
oin
g
exploratory work th
e C
IA trie
d to
do in
the 1
950s. S
o th
ey're
more
than
tpopuyt toof hhaanvde
..you do th
eir re
searc
h fo
r them
. As lo
ng a
s it doesn't
"What d
o yo
u m
ean, 'o
ut o
f hand'?
" .A
,'"Tim
oth
y, thin
k. You're
invo
lved in
the B
ig G
am
e h
ere
. Min
d-ch
ange
is the ke
y to p
ow
er. T
hey'll d
eal w
ith yo
u a
bout th
e sa
me w
ay th
e S
ovie
ts/ 4
7,1
srou
ld h
an
dle
a n
ucle
ar p
hysicist w
ith lib
era
l, libe
rtaria
n id
ea
ls. Th
ey'l/
.i-iridulg
e yo
ur u
topia
n fa
nta
sies. T
hey kn
ow
that cre
ative
scientists te
nd
ast° b:
froent e"thstiir u
p
free-thinkers.
mT
he
eayss 'lles ru
n yo
u w
ith a
loose
silken co
rd a
s long
you don't
Oka
y, I'll try not to
stir up th
e m
asse
s. And w
hat ca
n I d
o fo
r you?"
I to
ld yo
u th
e first tim
e w
e m
et. w
ant to
learn
how
to b
rain
wash
." "T
hat d
oesn
't sound ve
ry ladylike
." A
t this
she b
urs
t into
laughte
r. "If I can te
ach th
e u
se o
f uto
pia
tes
the w
ives a
nd m
istresse
s of im
porta
nt p
eople
in o
ur g
ove
rnm
ent, th
en
can . . . w
ell sh
it, Tim
oth
y, don't yo
u see w
hat we can do?"
1.444Q11610A-AVAii ,
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157
FLA
SH
B4
"What?
" "W
e ca
n d
o a
n a
big
ger sca
le w
hat yo
u a
re a
lready d
oin
g w
ith
students—
use
these
dru
gs to
free p
eople
. For p
eace
, not w
ar. W
e
turn
on th
e C
abin
et. T
urn
on th
e S
enate
. The S
upre
me C
out
I have
to e
xpla
in fu
rther?
" H
er p
roposa
l was sca
ry. But co
me to
thin
k of it, it w
as clo
se to
w
e I la
rvard
ites in
our se
ssion ro
om
s, lazily a
rchite
cturin
g h
opefu
l fu
had spelled out as the goal of psychedelic research. I lo
oke
d a
t myse
lf in th
e re
flectio
n o
f the w
indow
: a fo
rty-two-ye
a
man, b
ein
g lu
red in
to a
fem
inist p
lot to
turn
on th
e le
aders o
f the U
nl
Sta
tes g
ove
rnm
ent to
the id
ea o
f world
peace
. She la
y on th
e b
ed, p
lease
d
with
herse
lf, aw
aitin
g m
y reactio
n, kn
ow
ing I w
as g
oin
g to
agre
e.
"Oka
y. What d
o yo
u w
ant fro
m m
e? T
he d
rugs?
" "J
ust a
little b
it to g
et s
tarte
d. W
ith o
ur c
onnectio
ns w
e'll b
e a
b
to g
et a
ll the s
upplie
s w
e w
ant. A
nd a
ll you n
eed to
o. M
ain
ly I w
a
advic
e a
bout h
ow
to ru
n s
essio
ns. A
nd h
ow
to h
andle
any p
robt
that co
me u
p."
We sp
ent th
e n
ext fo
ur h
ours in
a cra
m co
urse
on p
sychedelic se
ssions,
Set a
nd se
tting. C
ente
ring. R
oom
service
bro
ught m
ore
cham
pagne
then d
inner. I d
rove
her to
Logan to
get a
nig
ht p
lane b
ack to
Wash
ingto
ii, T
he n
ext d
ay I m
aile
d o
ff a sta
ck of se
ssion re
ports. S
ince
she h
ad sw
orn
m
e to
secre
cy, I told
no o
ne e
xcept M
ichael H
ollin
gsh
ead.
That w
inte
r the m
ajo
r rese
arch
tasks w
ere
analyzin
g th
e re
ports fro
nt
our su
mm
er stu
die
s, contin
uin
g th
e p
rison p
roje
ct, train
ing n
ew
gra
dua
students to
run se
ssions, a
nd b
ringin
g in
to fu
ll opera
tion th
e E
xperie
nti
Typ
ew
riter. T
he p
urp
ose
of th
e E
.T. w
as to
deal w
ith th
e "w
ord
s cannot
exp
ress" a
spects o
f acce
lera
ted-b
rain
exp
erie
nce
. Subje
cts could
indica
te
any o
f vario
us le
vels o
f conscio
usn
ess th
at th
ey w
ere
unable
to d
escn
at th
e m
om
ent b
y pre
ssing th
e a
ppro
pria
te b
utto
ns o
n th
e typ
ew
riter.
This sig
nal w
as re
cord
ed o
n a
revo
lving d
rum
, much
the w
ay te
mpera
ture
s are
gra
phed in
mete
oro
logica
l statio
ns. A
fter th
e se
ssion, w
hen co
nscio
uv;„
ness w
as o
pera
ting a
t slow
er
speed
s, th
e su
bje
ct would
have
leisu
re te
z exa
min
e th
e re
cord
ed d
ata
and d
escrib
e th
e se
quence
of e
vents fu
lly and
pre
cisely.
To id
entify th
e le
vels o
f conscio
usn
ess (i.e
. deve
lop th
e n
ew
softw
are
) w
e h
ad to
addre
ss a n
um
ber o
f questio
ns a
bout th
e b
rain
as a
bio
com
putcr
how
is it pro
gra
mm
ed? w
hat a
re th
e circu
its that ca
n b
e a
ccesse
d? h
ow
do th
ese
circuits co
nfig
ure
the re
alitie
s we in
habit?
Sin
ce m
y first mush
- ro
om
exp
erie
nce
, answ
erin
g th
ese
questio
ns h
as b
een m
y persiste
nt p
hilo
-sophic task.
We id
entifie
d e
ight le
vels o
f conscio
usn
ess: stu
poro
us, e
motio
nal, sym
-bolic, so
matic, se
nso
ry, cellu
lar, m
ole
cula
r, and o
ut-o
f-body. E
ach
leve
l needed a
voca
bula
ry. For th
e e
motio
nal a
nd sym
bolic le
vels, w
hich
lent
■ 717414KIS
ICZK
IEV
AN
UM
F 171g.:6
4 trena lltr.10311
u.e
l. c w
inte
s, firecra
ckers, fo
otb
all scrim
mages, h
igh tid
es, w
hale
whistle
s. We
,,,T e p
roducin
g, h
ow
eve
r crudely, a
language fo
r exte
rnalizin
g th
e a
ura
l panoram
as that are experienced during mom
ents of transcendence. th
ese
new
linguistic d
evice
s had a
n in
tense
effe
ct on visito
rs. Alm
ost
nrrv
one g
ot a
bit h
igh in
one w
ay o
r anoth
er w
hen e
xposed to
the
feedback o
f bodily im
ages. M
any so
ber typ
es co
nfro
nte
d w
ith u
nfa
milia
r ,rt se
ry perso
nal se
nso
ry and n
eura
l data
had to
be h
elp
ed sta
ggerin
g
and retching from the room
.
We d
evo
ted m
uch
of o
ur e
nerg
y to cre
atin
g e
nviro
nm
ents th
at w
ould
guid
e co
nscio
usn
ess a
way fro
m th
e m
undane-lo
cal in
to n
ew
dim
ensio
ns.
With
this in
min
d w
e co
nstru
cted th
e T
ime C
ham
ber.
Adja
cent to
one o
f our livin
g ro
om
s was a
mediu
m-size
d stu
dy. W
e
seale
d o
ff the d
oor a
nd re
papere
d th
e w
all o
n th
e livin
g ro
om
side so
th
at th
e e
xistence
of th
e ro
om
was h
idden. I clim
bed th
rough a
win
dow
in
to th
e h
idden stu
dy a
nd u
sed a
pow
er sa
w to
slice o
ut a
yard
-square
openin
g in
the h
ard
wood flo
or. In
the ce
llar w
e co
nstru
cted a
dark tu
nnel
that le
d u
p a
ladder a
nd in
to th
e e
nclo
sed ro
om
, now
cove
red, w
alls
and ce
iling, w
ith H
indu p
aisle
y prin
ts of ce
llula
r desig
n. R
ed ve
lvet cu
sh-
ions co
vere
d th
e flo
or. A
t the fa
r end, illu
min
ate
d b
y candle
s in o
rnate
hold
ers, sa
t a sm
iling b
ronze
Buddha, w
hich
Peggy M
ello
n H
itchco
ck genero
usly p
rovid
ed. In
this se
cret ch
am
ber, a
modem
versio
n o
f Tom
S
aw
yer's clu
bhouse
, it was e
asy to
forg
et, o
n d
rugs o
r straig
ht, w
here
yo
u w
ere
in th
e h
ouse
or in
deed o
n th
e p
lanet. It w
as a
n e
arly iso
latio
n
tank. T
he T
ime C
ham
ber e
xperim
ents d
id n
ot w
ork fo
r eve
ryone. C
harlie
N
lingus fre
quently b
oom
ed u
p to
our fro
nt d
oor, lu
ggin
g h
is bass a
nd
full o
f delig
htfu
l para
noia
s. P
oundin
g o
ut ja
zz im
pro
vis
atio
ns o
n th
e
pia
no, h
e w
ould
want to
time tra
vel. B
ut h
eave
and p
ush
as w
e m
ight,
his p
ondero
us fo
rm w
ould
not fit th
rough th
e e
ntra
nce
of th
e C
ham
ber.
A m
ore
lithe visito
r was Je
an H
ousto
n. F
resh
from
win
nin
g o
ff-Bro
ad-
way d
ram
atic p
rizes a
nd a
Ph.D
. in a
nth
ropolo
gy sh
e w
as e
ager to
share
MR
.%)13110aTA
RN
NW
.,Y
ZN
VZ
.V.M
7141141Mrlier .
Harv
ord
ko
to ve
rbal d
escrip
tion, w
e w
ere
able
to u
se th
e va
riable
s de-
gu
n
dur in
g m
y re
searc
h in
Berk
ele
y. T
he s
ensory
, cellu
lar, a
nd
vns re
quire
d a
non-ye
rbal la
nguage. S
o w
e co
llecte
d b
iolo
gy
eye
, arld
film
-strips a
nd o
verla
id th
em
to cre
ate
multip
le im
ages. W
e
uoio
ned p
hoto
gra
phers to
make
enla
rgem
ents o
f cellu
lar a
ctivity. a ils
of o
ur o
ffices a
nd o
ur liv
ing ro
om
oozed a
nd d
ripped w
ith
k.oiC01011:01 bacterial pulsations a
nd p
roto
zoan e
nco
unte
rs. Itsr
, ,
: - T
he a
udito
ry voca
bula
ries w
ere
the m
ost n
ove
l. We a
ssem
ble
d a
tape
sbra
n o
f heartb
eat, so
und-a
mplifie
d b
rain
wave
s, ele
ctronic to
nes, ca
pil-
w, b
ow
s, ava
lanch
es, h
eavy b
reath
ing, e
rotic m
oans, ch
eerin
g (su
ppor-
hecrin
g (a
rouse
d), m
ob h
ostility (in
twenty-fo
ur la
nguages), ca
sh
a temporary hegira. )anzig and his wife Litwin, were eager h Mexican psychia-cal support. There the payroll as con-
Brunel], an organic ving researched the he was anxious for Boston straighww-e Harvard Businco . mescaline in Coll-ithesizing other c,_̀'
laboratory and I"-
e the legal. niediaL top Mexican Pt.
to work. IFIF or research and'iir.,
iistration of the large'
itemational Foun-ronym IFIF. The induct psychedelic
psychologi-}lore their internal or meaning would eatment would be publish a scholar-
tzner), help locals ner workshops in I, mescaline, and
utlining our plans. went out on the
on-Wide Chain of response. Within
Bars each to join, 3 we received over of these aspiring
FLASHBACKS Farewell to Harvard 161
'manufacturers in the world. Since IFIF was non-profit, all the revenues would be ploughed back into research and education.
We knew that, our program to teach the intelligent use of drugs was 4.as threatening in 1963 as the notion of sex education had been a genera-,:tion before. We were convinced that society would eventually come to =terms with this responsibility, just as it had, out of common sense, with
'4:Sex education. It was only logical that people would ultimately demand instruction in how to use drugs intelligently. In the next decade billions
.`would be spent in futile enforcement and anti-drug disinformation pro-. grams. We knew even then that training in responsible use is the only s̀way to prevent abuse.
„As the time for my departure from Harvard approached, it seemed only t to leave a farewell note in the Harvard Review, a classy journal
led by undergraduates. The editors had decided to publish a school-end devoted to Drugs and the Mind. The co-editor was Andrew Weil,
later was to become a world authority on consciousness-altering plants. ..ntitled "The Politics of Consciousness Expansion," our article in- ded these section headlines: "Expansion and Contraction is the Rhythm
%the Universe," "The Ancient Game: Visionary vs Cop," "The Hippy 37.4 Square Argument is a Bore," "The Next Lunge Forward: Internal Free-
,". "Cortical Vitamins: Turn On or Bail Out," "The Visionary Auto- pile," "Who Controls the Instruments of Freedom?" and "The Fifth
'Freed — am: To Change Your own Consciousness." I have often wondered ii*Many of the sponsors of the Harvard Review read this article. It
'dell the following paragraph:
di ̀you imagine a language without such words as convertible, accelerator, ission, General Motors, U.A.W., Standard Oil, super-highway, parking
•traffic court? These commonplace terms in our present culture were images three generations. it
possible that in 20 years our psychological and experiential language By small in English) will have multiplied to cover realms of experience
fisrms of thinking now unknown. In 20 years every social institution tia,e been transformed by new insights provided by consciousness expand-
„Fsperiences. Many new social institutions will have developed to handle .̀:.ion of the potentiated nervous system.
Adays before my departure for Mexico a phone call came from nehot. I hadn't talked to her in several weeks. Could I meet 11P1Aat the Ritz? She sounded tense.
•
162 FLASHoike
She was. When I walked in the room there was no bubbling pagne, no happy smiles. "I had to see you. Things are getting
/ complicated. I got exposed publicly."
"The drug experiment?" I asked, in mild alarm. ' "No. Everything there is going fine. It's my love affair.
,. ,
to the phone. "Let's order something. Are you hungry?" " She "No, just coffee. Tell me what happened."
"Oh Cod, where to begin. Well, there's a tremendous power going on in Washington. A friend of mine was losing the battle,
a r bloody one. He got drunk and told a room full of reporters abouC and my boyfriend."
..:v ....&i "Your boyfriend's married, I gather." ,
Hollow laugh. "lb say the least." Was there much publicity? I didn't read anything about
a :, Washington scandal." 0.. 1 ', "No, here's the scary part, Not a word printed about it."
`That's scary," I said "It's really scary. You wouldn't believe how well-connected sorb
' these people are, and nobody picked it up." There came a sharp knock on the door. We both jumped, then lo6
at each other and laughed. After the room service waiter left, Mary '
../ over and hugged me.
"Don't let me get you alarmed. There's nothing really new in w I've been telling you. I've seen it a hundred times in media politi' , The manipulation of news, cover ups, misinformation, dirty tricks. Eq cause of the drugs I can now step back and see what's going on an
the horror of it. Now I see that it doesn't have to be that way. Arneri - doesn't have to be run by these cold-war guys. They're crazy, they real' ',;., are. They don't listen. They don't learn. They're completely caught up in planning World War III. They can't enjoy anything except power and '
,7'. -.:
control."
"But that's where you're supposed to come in," I said. "You're goini to loosen them up." Mary stopped pacing. "You're so right. Thank you. You restore my hope. ... I guess that's wh
.,yi't I came to see you."
if' t. "Why don't you come to Mexico this summer and get some intensive:
training. You'll become the best brainwasher since Cleopatra." . "Don't get carried away," she said dryly. "I'm too exposed already. f.
And you should be careful too. Things are getting edgy in Washington. !..4 As we start loosening things up, there's bound to be a reaction. Keep
doing what you're doing, but try to keep it low key. If you stir up too
• • GI /14;
due to
booze
. Most o
f my fra
cture
d frie
ndsh
ips h
ave
unra
vele
d'
the in
fluence
of liq
uor. N
inety p
erce
nt o
f the e
ruptio
ns o
f vulg
arity."'
sitivity, or a
ggre
ssion in
my h
istory h
ave
been trig
gere
d b
y mild-to- ate
dose
s of b
ooze
. (The re
main
ing te
n p
erce
nt h
ave
been p
e sober.)
In th
e la
st tw
enty
years
1 h
ave in
geste
d e
norm
ous q
uanliti
psych
edelic d
rugs (m
ain
ly cannabis a
nd L
SD
). I find th
at th
ese
ch
stimula
te q
uie
t, sere
ne, h
um
oro
us, se
nsu
al, re
flective
resp
onse
s, m
ake
me a
bette
r perso
n. I h
ave
neve
r done a
nyth
ing I re
gre
t under the influence of these substances.
I have
spent lo
ng h
ours so
rrow
fully co
nte
mpla
ting h
ow
diffe
rent
would
have b
een if p
sychedelic
dru
gs h
ad b
een a
vaila
ble
sooneit
Maria
nne a
nd I co
uld
have
sat in
front o
f the fire
discu
ssing o
ur m
aritit
pro
ble
ms w
hile
smokin
g g
iggly m
ariju
ana in
stead o
f dow
nin
g p
itcherst:'
stu
pefy
ing m
artin
is . . . If o
nly
my fa
ther h
ad h
ad L
SD
to fu
el h
is'
Irish restlessness . . .
fuN
E 1
963
NE
WI Y
IN C
EN
TE
R, M
ASSA
CH
USE
TT
S T
he p
hone ca
ll from
Mary P
inch
ot ca
me a
week a
fter o
ur re
turn
. w
as a
t the B
osto
n a
irport. S
he co
uld
spend o
nly th
e a
ftern
oon. W
e
at a seafood restaurant downtow
n. "O
h, y
ou re
ckle
ss Iris
hm
an. Y
ou g
ot y
ours
elf in
trouble
again
:. m
agnifice
nt, th
ese
headlo
ng ca
valry ch
arg
es o
f yours. M
ars
ce
&est'
le gu
erre
." "W
hat'd
I do w
rong?"
"Public
ity. I to
ld y
ou th
ey'd
let y
ou d
o a
nyth
ing y
ou w
ant a
s
as yo
u ke
pt it q
uie
t. The IF
IF p
lan w
as in
genio
us fro
m a
ll sides.
would
have
infiltra
ted e
very ch
apte
r to g
et so
me o
f their p
eople
train
B
ut th
ey're
not g
oin
g to
let C
BS
film y
ou d
ruggin
g p
eople
on a
lov
Mexica
n b
each
. You co
uld
destro
y both
capita
lism a
nd so
cialism
in o
m
onth
with
that so
rt of th
ing."
I was stru
ck again
by th
e b
rittleness th
is aristo
cratic w
om
an h
ad p
ick up fro
m th
ose
stem
-eye
d b
usin
ess-su
ited W
AS
Ps w
ho sh
uttle
from
hom
e
to o
ffice in
limousin
es—
the in
form
atio
n b
roke
rs, edito
rs, board
mem
bers;'
exe
cutive
bra
nch
officia
ls—yo
ungish
men w
ith o
ldish
eye
s (face
s you u
sed
to se
e a
round H
arva
rd S
quare
or in
the Y
ale
quad), in
itiate
d e
arly in
to,
the C
alvin
ist consp
iracy, sw
orn
to b
e fo
reve
r relia
ble
, workin
g fo
r Wild
B
ill Donova
n in
Zurich
, for A
llen D
ulle
s in W
ash
ingto
n, fo
r Henry L
uce
as b
ure
au ch
iefs a
nd th
en sh
ufflin
g fro
m N
ewsw
eek to
the
Po
st, m
an-
ipula
tors o
f secre
t docu
ments, fa
cts, rum
ors, e
stimate
s, arm
s inve
nto
ries,
stock m
arg
ins, vo
ting b
locs, in
dustria
l secre
ts, gossip
about th
e se
xual,
and d
rug p
refe
rence
s of e
very m
em
ber o
f Congre
ss, train
ed to
gra
b a
nd t'
179
0,-1 , psych
edelic ce
ll on th
e P
oto
mac, d
on't yo
u th
ink?
"
r1:1 1.-------;
:wc ir ir,ksmu:indsuan ll th
at," sa
id M
ary.
.0041. n
w h
at th
ey ca
n, a
ll loya
l to th
e P
rote
stant b
elie
f that th
e P
lanet
"While
you've
been g
oofin
g a
round,
workin
g h
ard
. My frie
nds a
nd I h
ave
been tu
rnin
g o
n so
me
0.4 m
ost im
porta
nt p
eople
in W
ash
ingto
n. It's a
bout tim
e w
e h
ad
7-so yo
u n
eed m
ore
dru
gs?
That's g
oin
g to
be a
pro
ble
m. M
y pla
ns
lis cih
rm
so iacUighpe ladn.t5"O inhMtehxaitc'so got w
iped p ro
ble
m. c
an g
ive y
ou a
conta
ct in
p,41,3 o
d. T
hey'll s
ell y
ou e
very
thin
g y
ou n
eed. A
nd if th
ings g
o th
e
.r I h
ope," sh
e sa
id e
mphatica
lly, "we'll b
e se
ein
g lo
ts of g
ood d
rugs
educed here at hom
e." I piessed her, but she declined to say m
ore.
°OM
ER
21, 1
955
BIER
AE
LE
came
ho
me o
ne
nig
ht to
find M
aria
nne fille
d w
ith n
ew
en-
thusiasm. H
er eyes, so long sorrowful, w
ere sparkling. She had a plan.
I mixe
d a
pitch
er o
f martin
is and w
e sa
t at th
e b
ar, fu
ll of h
igh sp
irits, like
in th
e o
ld d
ays. M
aria
nne re
alize
d th
at sh
e h
ad b
eco
me to
o d
epen-
dent, to
o w
ithdra
wn, to
o g
loom
y. She kn
ew
she n
eeded a
jolt, so
meth
ing
to sh
ake
her lo
ose
from
intro
verte
d h
abits. S
ia sh
e a
nd th
e kid
s would
go a
way fo
r a w
hile
. She h
ad to
tal co
nfid
ence
that o
ur lo
ve w
ould
blo
ssom
once again.
Her clo
sest frie
nd fro
m co
llege, m
arrie
d to
a d
iplo
mat sta
tioned in
S
witze
rland, in
spire
d M
aria
nne w
ith le
tters a
bout th
e so
cial life
there
, the skiing, the good schools.
So M
aria
nne w
ould
take o
ff for a
few
month
s. G
et a
house in
the
Alp
s, le
arn
to s
ki, p
ut th
e k
ids in
school, s
tand o
n h
er o
wn fe
et fo
r a w
hile. I would com
e over and visit. B
ut w
e w
ould
need so
me fin
ancia
l help
from
her p
are
nts.
She d
iale
d O
regon C
ity a
nd o
utlin
ed h
er p
lan. T
hen s
he lis
tened.
filer fa
ce fe
ll. She h
eld
the p
hone, sta
ring b
lankly a
t the w
all. I co
uld
hear the dial tone.
Her fa
ther h
ad sp
oke
n o
nly o
ne se
nte
nce
. "You m
ust b
e o
ut o
f your
min
d to
leave
your h
om
e a
nd h
usb
and to
traip
se a
round E
uro
pe."
1 put m
y arm
s aro
und h
er a
nd h
eld
her clo
se.
"We'll d
o it a
nyw
ay," I sa
id. "W
e ca
n d
o a
nyth
ing w
e w
ant."
"Yes, w
e ca
n," sh
e sa
id. "L
et's ce
lebra
te. H
ow
about a
drin
k." I mixe
d
more
martin
is. Maria
nne d
idn't e
at m
uch
but ke
pt o
n d
rinkin
g.
We w
ent to
a sm
all d
inner p
arty th
at n
ight. D
else
y phoned. S
he w
as
goin
g a
way to
Tahoe th
e n
ext d
ay. I th
oughtle
ssly suggeste
d th
at sh
e
and R
ollo
dro
p b
y our h
ouse
late
r in th
e e
venin
g.
s...avacis6.1;,alovaairNQ
uaisciaaiuswaVektiagiN
alMM
TW.
FL
AS
HB
AC
KS
190
sciousn
ess. Once a w
eek w
e engag
ed in
a pro
gram
med
LS
D sessio
n.
Typically one crew
mem
ber would be responsible for arranging the envi-
ron
men
t and
the stim
uli. T
he g
uid
e wo
uld
read fro
m p
hilo
sop
hic o
r poetic w
ork
s and select th
e music, all-im
portan
t in d
irecting th
ought.
Often the guide w
ould prepare special tapes to take us on specific ontologi-cal adventures. T
rip leaders would thus share their philosophic preoccupa-
tions and esthetic preferences. S
ince p
assive im
prin
ted learn
ing
is tremen
do
usly
accelerated d
urin
g
acid sessio
ns, w
e were ab
le to ab
sorb
a wid
e variety
of w
isdo
ms an
d
pleasu
res from
all ages. F
or sev
eral week
s we fo
cused
on th
e writin
gs
of George 1. G
urdjieff, the wondrous R
ussian-Arm
enian mystic, and tried
to replicate his profound drug-inspired experiments.
Peggy, w
ho sp
ent h
alf of h
er time in
Man
hattan
, would
roar u
p in
a car lo
aded
with
cases of ch
ampag
ne an
d ex
otic fo
ods an
d d
rinks.
'Week
end
s Billy
and
To
mm
y w
ou
ld co
me to
"the b
un
galo
w," b
ring
ing
w
ith th
em jet-setters, celeb
rities, curio
us aristo
crats. A w
eeken
d at
Millb
rook w
as the ch
ic thin
g fo
r the h
ip y
oung rich
of N
ew Y
ork
. At
the same tim
e we entertained biologists from
Yale, O
xford psychologists. H
indu h
oly
men
. All w
eeken
d th
e gro
ups w
ould
move fro
m o
ne h
ouse
to the other in courtly exchange. T
he m
ajor d
om
o an
d m
aster of cerem
onies fo
r these w
eeken
ds w
as V
an Wolfe, a part-tim
e theatrical producer and man-about-tow
n who ap-
poin
ted h
imself am
bassad
or fro
m C
astalia to th
e world
of P
ark A
ven
ue
and Broadw
ay. Van often stayed on after w
eekends, wandering dow
n from
the bungalow to the B
ig House to join our program
med sessions. D
uring th
ese trips p
eop
le wou
ld o
ften u
nfo
ld "essen
ce" perso
nalities, o
r, as D
uring
were
wont to
say, "m
anifest th
eir div
inities." V
an ap
peared
as a wise
crafty L
evan
tine, a v
izier at the su
ltan's co
urt, p
lottin
g an
d p
lannin
g
for th
e cause, w
hich
for V
an, as fo
r so m
any o
f us, w
as to lean
t ho
to u
se psy
ched
elic dru
gs to
create a heav
en o
n earth
. Beh
ind
the facad
e of cu
nnin
g sch
emer, sh
ow
-biz h
ustler, b
ridge sh
ark, an
d salo
n m
an fo
nagrr
Van
was a clo
set psy
cho
log
ist, believ
ing
that th
e way
to free p
eop
le rt fear and guilt w
as to teach them how
to use drugs intelligently. W
e saw o
urselv
es as an
thropologists from the tw
enty-first centurt; h
abitin
g a tim
e mo
du
le set som
ewh
ere in th
e dark
ages o
f the 1
9O
kb
; O
n th
is space co
lony w
e were attem
ptin
g to
create a new
pag
anism
;t1'
a new
ded
ication to
life as art. It felt right an
d w
as, com
e to 0
' 5' 4
of it, my boyhood dream
come true,
The w
orld
of co
nflict an
d p
olitical stru
ggle seem
ed far rem
oved
. t'" 4
trouble was lurking outside, grim
, unrelenting.
First cam
e a phone call late o
ne aftern
oon fro
m M
ary P
inch
ut- rij
b'6 .
voice tightroping the wire of hysteria. S
he had rented a car at LI G
t."
r L
ife on a G
roun
ded
S
pace C
olo
ny
191
and w
as now
som
ewhere in
Millb
rook. S
he d
idn't w
ant to
com
e to th
e ,
estate. Could I m
eet her in the village? 'A
'. D
rivin
g o
ut th
e gate I saw
a green
Fo
rd p
arked
do
wn
Ro
ute 4
4. It
followed m
e. I slowed dow
n. It pulled up behind rne. M
ary. She clim
bed in
beside me, m
otioning me to drive on.
I Fu
med
do
wn
a side ro
ad th
rou
gh
an u
nfo
rgettab
le autu
mn
scene—
go
lden
fields, h
erds o
f fat let-black
cow
s, trees turn
ing
techn
icolo
r, sky
glaring indigo—
with the bluest girl in the w
orld next to me.
"It was all g
oin
g so
well," sh
e said. "W
e had
eigh
t intellig
ent w
om
en
turn
ing o
n th
e most
pow
erful m
en in
W
ashin
gto
n. A
nd
then
we g
ot
e found o
ut. I w
as such
a fool. I m
ade a m
istake in
recruitm
ent. A
wife
snitched on us. I'm scared." S
he burst into tears.
1 reach
ed o
ver an
d stro
ked
her h
air. "Is this a resu
lt of .. . I m
ean,
did you have a bad drug experience?"
"No
. Th
at's all been
perfect. T
hat's w
hy
it's so sad
. I may
be in
real cbnuble. I really shouldn't be here."
''7Are you on drugs right now
?"
;Ifs no
t me, it's th
e situatio
n th
at's fuck
ed u
p. Y
ou
mu
st be v
ery carefu
l now
, Tim
oth
y. D
on't m
ake an
y w
aves. N
o p
ublicity
. I'm afraid
for y
ou.
1'm afraid for all of us."
'Mary
," I said so
oth
ing
ly, "let's g
o b
ack to
the B
ig H
ou
se and
relax
tinduihdadveo...som
e win
e and m
aybe a h
ot b
ath an
d fig
ure o
ut w
hat y
ou
0.14 know
what y
ou're th
inkin
g. T
his is n
ot p
aranoia. I'v
e gotten
mix
ed
4
in so
me d
ang
erou
s matters. It's real. Y
ou
've g
ot to
believ
e me." S
he
at me. "D
o y
ou?"
res I do." Her alarm
was convincing m
e. w
hki,lei?f, I ever sh
ow
ed u
p h
ere sudden
ly, co
uld
you h
ide m
e out
. .,
." She handed m
e a pill bottle from her purse. "T
his is supposed .'1: ID , b
e th
e best L
SD
in th
e wo
rld. F
rom
the N
ation
al Institu
te of M
ental
-.21ii,liealth. Isn't it funny that fend up giving it to you." w1 hwaatteuticendbiheecroudirdivseheawbeayin?I
wondered
. She w
asn't b
reakin
g an
y
.,,.., .
,
.'illrhat n
igh
t I received
a ph
on
e call from
Lau
ra Hu
xley
. Sh
e said th
at '''`v
itPu
s was d
yin
g an
d th
at he p
articularly
wan
ted to
see me ab
ou
t the
de-
r T
he n
ext d
ay 1
flew to
Lo
s An
geles. S
ince th
eir ho
use h
ad b
een d
e-
nireidoaidDlyarwpivoodtien.gL
afrom th
e Tibetan
Book of th
e Dead
firuer,aAtloodokusmaendasiLadeura w
ere living with a friend
wi
_, ..-,-- –
Pp
Bin
g to
face th
e certainty
of h
is death
. Jun th
at afternoon
pressing my hand. A
ldous
1.'
arad.a141e4Waiti0a.aidr....4:441;A
vitgaile.74siAliK
riii4A,6'4,7W
yZattitiveWitvitirrantilL,-...T.N
,WA
W.N
.
194 FLASH BA
drove me crazy playing records of droning whining atonalmusic; eventually I absorbed and learned to like. Thus I was introduc:ed early Bob Dylan. The Fergusons with their five children added show-biz excitement, wit, and bouncing kid-energy. We all play and uncle, sharing the responsibilities and fun of child-care.'
Ever since the Kennedy assassination I had been expecting a call from Mary. It came around December 1.
I could hardly understand her. She was either drunk or d overwhelmed with grief. Or all three. "They couldn't control him more. He was changing too fast."
Long pause. Hysterical crying. I spoke reassurance. She so •• "They've covered everything up. I gotta come see you. I'm afraid." careful."
The line went dead. Worried, I could do nothing. .
The phone rang again, and the next voice had a Scottish burr,: was R.D. Laing, Allen Ginsberg had given him the number. Coul come up to visit?
Ronnie Laing and I had much in common. His books on beh'im change harmonized with my work in interpersonal behavior. He had' ceived grants from the exclusive Yale-based foundation that funded: California research. He too was experimenting with psychedelic drugs.ry
Ronnie was a canny dour Scotsman, distinguished in tweeds. We sandwiches and drank wine in the kitchen. To my dismay he turn; out to be fascinated with pathological psychosis, convinced that insaiu was a creative resolution of emotional conflicts. He had founded a cen called Kingsley Hall, where he intended to live with psychotics.
I tried to tell him about the contagious nature of optimistic interaciio It seemed to me the height of folly to inhabit a place where penpl are gloomy. I meant not just a mental hospital but Britain itself. I invi him to join us. No, he was hell-bent on living with schizophrenics.
I groaned. "Surely, Ronnie, you've done your share of healing in trenches. We need you out on the frontier, creating the future. Yti'' can spend the rest of your life tending casualties, but you'll never dral,r their ocean of anguish. You'll only become like them. Evolution depend,, on finding and training the intelligent ones who will guide the sped forward. Nurture excellence. Come join us here."
No. Great Britain is my home." f
tecin f brown earth
FI of th.
Aod rubbish
1 . r. the ray
being
out
the
bushes an i'llinghb'sh from the 4,,cnhedstairtcwith low c shed
h 21, the
Eck
arie by
om:: while Alamn uWmabt
Ins past and Eastern I
sick' to drip, drip al
ration t o>< the
the stone terrace. The
1 .3 t I Zt hti ee:lf:: i our
tennis
hnihtfinorgeups
the
Zic mshed out o
1 ---"Allib11c that had fume
This
rra, oe
on House. Meals
hcs °
was myfirst
unegathering
gigantic i
the con
night totallyebeyesyo
the
i o past, time-traveling i
I walked outside a' dom to the sounds c lights in bedrooms wi
I watched the sun brooks babbling sprir hidden lake shimme breathtaking meetint green. I spent a loi coat, watching the trees, insects, and ar gence that expresses I
Everything was all text this perception Nightmare! But in n
I was beginning of vocabularies user this timeless enviror banks and my chatte
"Sooner or later we'll send a signal to rescue you." He laughed. We embraced, and he was gone.
r')
Before we knew it, we were safely past the frosty days of winter, emerg;., ing from our white cocoons. Warmed by the March sun the four-foot.
El 00 Ft A PfT lions who later became atop-level a g Tehn et tc.4 1
eyers were divorced ;ig% As a resident of Georgetown ILi Pinchot Meyer moved in the
circles of power in the nation's Her sister Toni married
andlater dikei vorced Benjamin C. Bradlee, wt 6,4 came editor of the Washington Fog. :11,1 Mary Pinchot Meyers close frierbilivi included President and Mrs. John Kennedy.
27. Dissipative Structures
JuNE 1965 MILLBROOK, NEW YORK
The earth-orbiting spaceship Honeymoon limped back to Millbrook no flags flying. My relations with Nanette were just barely friendly.
My jangled nerves were not soothed by the six months of cha that had converted Millbrook from a community of scholars and scientists to a playground for rowdy omnisexuals. In my absence Dick had fallen in love with Arnie, a flamboyant photographer from Brooklyn who liked to project color slides on walls during acid sessions, leading the vulnerable4: brains of his audience through a Coney Island funhouse of hallucinatosik. pranks.
Always the enthusiastic lieutenant Dick had promoted Arnie to the pcs tion of Adored Guru. It was Arnie who now set the tone and di the scenarios.
Arnie had assembled a mountebank crew: Allen Eager, a legendarf jazz saxophonist and notorious junky. Milt, a bearded photographer4v slithered around with a perpetual hard-on. Then there was Micky, it, glib graduate student from NYU and his pretty yoga-student wife Laura; both promiscuous as bunny rabbits. Not to mention Annie's wife, h two kids, his ex-girlfriend, and his new girlfriend, Clara Hoover, the intelligent sophisticated heiress to the vacuum cleaner fortune and a tower,
ya
wisdom in
“j1"1
Scot
le
,
t isu d •
and c
the brain. frc.
v„,rew s sessions—a net
the floor,
:al:int:all records I
For two week
cz themselves with
■eedless to say t I litchcock.s and
ceirual base. Ever -1m rd. "To clean u
from India, load as hopelessly humor
I was in no shal because of the mph:
When I tried to t tic had shrewdly c down the home fr around the world? to summer in Fran Then he would vi for the infamous scem pretty conven
Dick listened to that we three take kiliy—we were thre
Dick appointed I'unksters had taug Ile used a long gla us!
lie panicked fin
:11:Otrthil flee s s si watching m uch th the
Nanette was thir I was trapped in
Here was a cla us was as vulnera first one to take a
Dick made the
MART ENO PINCHOT MEYER (1921-1964), painter, socialite,
and feminist martyr, was descended from a family of American dissidents. Her uncle Gifford Pinchot, among the first conservation activists, helped found the Bull Moose political party and later served as governor of Pennsylvania.
Mary Pinchot graduated from Vas-sar College in 1942 and three years later married Cord Meyer, Jr., an anti-communist leader in liberal organize-
224
226
227 F
LA
SH
BA
CK
m
e o
f bein
g a
disa
ppro
ving m
ora
list, a p
rude w
ho co
ndem
ned h
i, m
ose
xuality.
rp H
ow
I reacte
d to
this first m
ove
would
be cru
cial. R
esp
onse
A: I
arid
genia
lly p
oin
t out th
at th
e lo
ve a
nd h
um
or a
mong u
s th
ree
fa conquer a
ll. Outc
om
e: fu
sio
n. W
e u
nite
as a
trium
phant m
erry
trio
divin
ities. I d
on't sp
end fo
ur ye
ars a
lone in
jail, w
hile
Dick d
oesn
't pain
t him
self in
to th
e lo
nely
l-loly
Man c
orn
er, a
nd N
anette
main
tain
s !,,Q
w
ise friends for her blossoming career.
But I co
uld
do n
o b
ette
r than R
esp
onse
B: g
uilty sile
nce
. Outco
fissio
n. D
ick and N
anette
exch
anged a
consp
irato
rial g
lance
of su
perio
rity' w
hich
with
X-ra
y sensitivity I ca
ught.
I drifte
d o
ff leakin
g sp
inal flu
' le
avin
g N
anette
and D
ick bonded to
geth
er in
a su
rprise
d u
neasy a
lliance
, If D
ick or I h
ad b
een m
ore
secu
re, e
ither o
ne o
f us co
uld
have
stro
the o
ther o
ut o
f low
spirits
with
a b
last o
f lovin
g h
um
or. B
ut n
o. T
h
acid
sessio
n w
as a
bout se
verin
g co
nnectio
ns. T
he lin
es w
ent d
ow
n,
we n
eve
r got th
e cu
rrent g
oin
g a
gain
. It was th
e la
st time w
e to
ok a
together.
For th
e n
ext fe
w c
lays I c
ircle
d th
e fie
ld a
imle
ssly
, tryin
g to
figuie
out w
here
to la
nd w
ith th
e re
st of m
y life. I re
treate
d to
a sm
all b
cdr
in th
e se
rvant's w
ing, d
evo
ting m
y time to
the T
aoist p
oem
s. Eve
rythin
changes. T
his
too w
ill pass. L
ay lo
w, w
alk
slo
w. I p
lante
d a
gard
elt
behin
d th
e M
edita
tion H
ouse w
ith s
eeds a
nd c
uttin
gs fro
m a
nea
Rudolp
h S
tein
er fa
rm.
Dic
k c
am
e o
ut o
f the s
essio
n g
low
ing w
ith c
onfid
ence, e
njo
yin
g
glo
rious b
rief m
om
ent o
f leaders
hip
. Then h
e le
ft. Then B
ye-B
ye;
Nanette
, drive
n b
y my p
eevish
ness to
an a
partm
ent in
Manhatta
n. O
ne',:
by o
ne th
e P
unkste
rs beca
me d
iscoura
ged b
y the m
onastic a
tmosp
here
and d
rifted a
way. S
oon th
ere
rem
ain
ed o
nly a
small ca
dre
of e
x-Harva
lo
yalists: R
alp
h M
etzn
er, M
ichael H
ollin
gsh
ead, a
nd h
is love
ly bookish
m
istress.
In m
y yearn
ing fo
r an a
lly, a frie
nd, a
wom
an, I fo
und m
yself th
inkin
g
a lo
t about M
ary P
inch
ot. I a
sked e
veryo
ne a
t Millb
rook if sh
e h
ad p
honed
durin
g th
e ro
und-th
e-w
orld
trip, b
ut n
o o
ne re
mem
bere
d h
earin
g fro
m
her.
Dire
ctory a
ssistance
in W
ash
ingto
n, D
.C. h
ad n
um
bers fo
r seve
ral P
in-
chats
but n
one fo
r Mary
. Then I re
mem
bere
d th
at s
he w
as a
Vassar-
gra
duate
and p
honed th
e a
lum
ni o
ffice in
Poughke
epsie
. The ch
eery vo
ice
of th
e se
creta
ry beca
me g
uard
ed w
hen I a
sked fo
r the a
ddre
ss of M
ary
Pin
chot.
"Mary P
inch
ot?
" A lo
ng p
ause
. "The p
erso
n a
bout w
hom
you w
ere
askin
g . . a
h, h
er m
arrie
d n
am
e is
Meyer. B
ut I'm
sorry
to s
ay th
at
she is, a
h, d
ece
ase
d, S
om
etim
e la
st fall, I b
elie
ve."
"I've b
een o
ut o
f the co
untry. I d
idn't kn
ow
."
.---- suo
ctures
insecelorwetaa rY nd u
p th
e ste
ep co
pper
bawni ck again
st a ch
imney a
nd trie
d
7:Idit il,1;:s-i ?:knti;e k it ik. yh :o rti ti ligeg fsl oinot roo cib ai lrsd le.in .oN gTi
o, ,it" ilcseala iraeitdeklittthdlice-laoita nioludin m tgsh
ead,
who se
nse
d m
y mala
ise,
gra
mble
d u
p to
loin
me, c
arry
ing tw
o b
eers
, When to
ld h
im a
bout
he brushed away a tear. 1,0 5ark id:
:I N wonde
re %
i i_ tie what happened,"
p tpoe nNed," 1
e w
let's se
e w
hat w
e ca
n fin
d o
ut," sa
id
Sliclia
el. B
ala
ncin
g g
race
fully o
n b
are
feet h
e w
alke
d to
the w
est le
dge
the ro
of to
conte
mpla
te th
e se
tting su
n. A
flock o
f swallo
ws sw
ept
/cross the lawn and collected in the branches of the tw
in birches.
-Look 'o
ld m
an," M
ichael s
aid
. "No p
oin
t in liv
ing in
the p
ast.
You h
ave
at yo
ur d
isposa
l right h
ere
and n
ow
all th
e fa
ctors n
eeded
to do something splendid. W
hy not start a new gam
e?" - W
hat new gam
e?" - N
euro
logica
l Art. A
new
creative
exp
ressio
n b
ase
d o
n o
ur kn
ow
ledge
of th
e n
ervo
us syste
m. T
he e
ight circu
its of th
e b
rain
defin
e th
e E
ight
Fin
e A
rts. Orch
estra
te th
em
togeth
er, a
nd yo
u g
et a
Psych
edelic T
heatre
of th
e M
ind."
Desp
ite m
y with
ere
d liza
rd to
rpor, I re
sponded to
what M
ichael w
as
sayin
g. T
he fu
nctio
n o
f any a
rt is to a
ctivate
, in th
e b
rain
of th
e b
ehold
er,
the d
esire
d re
ality. S
ocia
list art a
ctivate
s the w
ork-h
ard
serve
-the-sta
te
Marxist re
ality. C
ath
olic a
rt turn
s on th
e su
bm
ission re
alitie
s. Ero
tic art
acce
sses th
e se
x circuits. G
urd
jieff o
nce
describ
ed h
ow
Sufi m
onastics
in th
e M
iddle
East m
aste
red th
e u
se o
f sound to
a p
oin
t where
they
could
evo
ke a
ny e
motio
n Iro
ns a
n a
udie
nce
. I
specu
late
d. "W
e co
uld
arra
nge a
sound-a
nd-lig
ht sh
ow
that w
ould
dem
onstra
te w
hat a
n L
SD
se
ssion is like
. We co
uld
activa
te d
iffere
nt b
rain
circuits w
ithout d
rugs."
"You g
ot it," sa
id M
ichael, w
ho w
as n
ow
reckle
ssly stridin
g b
ack a
nd
forth on the slanted roof.
So o
ff we w
ent, M
ichael a
nd I, d
ow
n th
e H
udson to
New
York
to
meet th
e lig
ht-a
rtists and so
und w
izard
s who w
ere
poppin
g u
p o
n th
e
Low
er E
ast S
ide. A
nd to
find o
ut w
hat h
appened to
Mary P
inch
ot M
eye
r. I ca
bbed o
ver to
Van W
olfe
's apartm
ent, d
rank a b
eer, a
nd a
sked h
im
if he co
uld
get a
ny m
ate
rial o
n M
ary P
inch
ot M
eye
r. He m
ade a
phone
call to
a frie
nd w
ho w
ork
ed o
n th
e T
imes.
An h
our la
ter a
messe
nger
was a
t the d
oor w
ith a
manila
enve
lope fu
ll of clip
pin
gs, a
nd W
HA
M—
there
was M
ary's p
icture
, the p
ert ch
in a
nd n
ose
, the d
eep in
tense
eye
s. A
bove, the headline read:
WO
MA
N P
AIN
TE
R SH
OT
AN
n KIL
LE
D O
N C
AN
AL
TO
WP
AT
H IN
CA
PT
VIL
Mrs. M
ary P
inch
ot M
eye
r Was a
Frie
nd o
f M
rs. Ke
nn
ed
y S
uspect is arraigned
Ma
ry h
ad
be
en
sh
ot tw
ice
in th
e le
ft tem
ple
an
d o
nce
in th
e
at 1
2:4
5 in
the
afte
rno
on
of O
ctob
er 1
3, 1
96
4 a
s she
wa
lked
alo
ng
O
ld C
he
sap
ea
ke a
nd
Oh
io C
an
al to
wp
ath
in C
eo
rge
tow
n. A
frien
d tc
qu
elin
e K
en
ne
dy.
rep
orte
rs tha
t Ma
ry som
etim
es w
alke
d th
ere
with
he
r close
frien
d
Mary's b
roth
er-in
-law
, Benja
min
C. B
radle
e,
Ne
wsw
ee
k's W
ashin- bure
au ch
ief, id
entifie
d h
er b
ody. B
en B
radle
e w
as d
escrib
ed a
s havi
be
en
an
intim
ate
of th
e la
te P
resid
en
t Ke
nn
ed
y. Th
e a
rticle a
lso rum
; h
on
ed
Ma
ry's ex-h
usb
an
d, C
ord
Me
yer, Jr., fo
rme
r lea
de
r of th
e A
me
ig
can V
ete
rans C
om
mitte
e a
nd th
e W
orld
Federa
lists, now
a g
ove
rn
em
plo
yee, p
ositio
n a
nd a
gency n
ot sp
ecifie
d.'
I was s
obbin
g. I w
alk
ed to
the b
ath
room
and th
rew
cold
wate
r ail,
my fa
ce. M
y hands w
ere
shakin
g. I w
as stu
nned to
learn
that M
ary ha
be
en
ma
rried to
Co
rd M
eye
r, my n
em
esis
from
gra
du
ate
sch
oo
l di
wh
o n
ow
turn
ed
ou
t to b
e a
top
sp
oo
k. M
y h
ea
d w
as s
pin
nin
g w
ith
om
inous th
oughts. A
close
friend o
f the K
ennedy fa
mily h
ad b
een m
ut' .̀
"H
de
red
in b
roa
d d
aylig
ht w
ith n
o a
pp
are
nt m
otive
. An
d th
ere
ha
d b
ee
rt;s; .e.-
so little
public
ity. N
o o
utc
ry. N
o c
all fo
r furth
er in
vestig
atio
n. I fe
lt that'`
same vague fear that cam
e when w
e heard about JFK
's assassination. "C
an
you
ge
t me
mo
re in
form
atio
n?
" I aske
d V
an
. V
an
said
he
'd co
nta
ct som
e o
f his frie
nd
s in th
e p
olice
an
d o
rga
nize
d4
' crim
e to get more facts.
Va
n c
am
e u
p to
Millb
roo
k th
e n
ext w
ee
ke
nd
. I too
k h
im o
n a
wa
lk
to L
un
acy H
ill. We
sat sm
okin
g g
rass, w
atch
ing
the
Hu
dso
n V
alle
y tint
purple as the sun set.
"My frie
nd in
polic
e in
tellig
ence k
new
all a
bout th
e M
ary
Pin
chot
Me
yer ca
se. A
pp
are
ntly a
lot o
f pe
op
le a
re co
nvin
ced
it wa
s an
assa
ssina
h
on
. Tw
o s
lug
s in
the
bra
in a
nd
on
e in
the
bo
dy. T
ha
t's n
ot th
e M
O
of a
rap
ist. An
d a
mu
gg
er isn
't go
ing
to sh
oo
t a w
om
an
with
no
pu
rse
in h
er h
and."
Van p
ulle
d o
ut a
Lucky S
trike a
nd lit it. H
is tre
mor w
as m
ore
pro
- . nounced th
an u
sual. "It's
gotta
be o
ne o
f the b
iggest c
over-u
ps in
W
ash
ingto
n h
istory. It's
too
ho
t to h
an
dle
. Eve
ryon
e co
me
s ou
t loo
king
b
ad
. So
me
pe
op
le sa
y do
pe
wa
s invo
lved
. So
the
truth
cou
ld h
urt e
very-
one, a
ll those
pow
erfu
l people
. No o
ne w
ants th
e fa
cts know
n."
Police
said
that th
e m
otive
was a
ppare
ntly ro
bbery o
r assa
ult. H
er id
iiiet w
as fo
und b
y B
en B
radle
e in
her h
om
e. T
he s
uspect, a
bla
ck
= w
as b
ein
g h
eld
with
ou
t ba
il. He
de
nie
d th
e crim
e. H
e h
ad
be
en
at tliP
ca
nal fish
ing.
tibca..-1--------S
-1,,i,lq. cant':ugct eu tr aevi day with a cover-up like this," I protested.
-Th e s. h
ave
. An
d yo
u kn
ow
wh
at w
e're
go
ing
to d
o?
We
're g
oin
g to
the a dve
ntu
re th
riller o
f ou
r lives. W
e're
go
ing
to u
nco
ver th
e fa
cts,
"' le
goin
g to
write
a b
ook a
bout it. Ill ra
ise s
om
e m
oney fo
r w
ola
gsh
ea
d to
rese
arch
it in W
ash
ing
ton
—in
tervie
w e
veryo
ne
, po
ke
brib
e m
aid
s and p
recin
ct cops. H
ire p
rivate
dete
ctives. T
here
hoo wm
wigh hatt talk."
happened."
his w
ho
le b
od
y sha
king
. "We
'll dig
up
the
facts.
:: I I:d.n ts. e j u lolcsifat people nagreat
a b
ig p
ub
lishe
r be
hin
d u
s to e
xpo
se a
cove
r-up
l'kct ibh
e
lo ovnee l." o
il
rn su
mm
er o
f 19
65
crep
t alo
ng
on
pa
infu
lly. My p
als w
ere
th
e tw
o m
ansio
n d
ogs, sh
ort-h
aire
d se
tters n
am
ed F
ang a
nd O
'Brie
n.
q tr ga
rde
n, w
ee
de
d a
nd
wa
tere
d te
nd
erly, w
as a
sola
ce. i fe
rtilized
it w
ith a
solu
tion o
f LS
D to
see w
hat w
ould
happen. T
he p
lants re
sponded
with enthusiasm
, producing juicy, sweet, vegetables.
I rem
em
be
r so
de
arly
tha
t su
mm
er m
oo
ring
wh
en
I wa
lke
d o
ut to
the portico terrace, and there she w
as! The next seven years of m
y life! A
cloud o
f phero
mones flo
atin
g fro
m h
er b
ody a
wake
ned m
y lazy o
ff-duty h
orm
ones. M
y knees w
obble
d. H
er n
am
e w
as R
ose
mary W
oodru
ff, a
ge
thirty. In
he
r ha
nd
wa
s a b
oo
k by W
ittge
nste
in. S
he
ha
d co
me
up
for the w
eekend with som
e friends. R
ose
mary n
eeded h
elp
. She h
ad b
rought a
bottle
of F
rench
win
e b
ut
no corkscrew. M
y ears were ro
ug
e, m
y mouth
see, I led h
er to
the kitch
en,
popped the cork, and poured her a glass. "Y
ou a
re th
e kin
dest m
an in
the w
orld
," she sa
id, H
er m
ove
s were
flu
id, g
race
ful. S
he w
as w
earin
g tig
ht je
ans b
ound b
y a silve
r chain
. H
er b
oy's sh
irt wa
s tied
ab
ove
the
na
vel, re
vea
ling
a strip
of cre
am
y sm
oo
th b
elly. I p
ou
red
som
e w
ine
in m
y gla
ss, an
d w
e to
aste
d o
ur m
ee
t-in
g. S
he
wo
re te
nn
is sho
es! T
ha
t wa
s the
ge
ne
tic sign
al. A
nd
she
rea
d
Wittg
en
stein
. I wo
nd
ere
d id
ly if she
wa
s an
inte
llige
nce
ag
en
t assig
ne
d
to my case. If so, the psych-tech boys sure had m
y number.
Th
at a
ftern
oo
n I to
ok h
er fo
r a w
alk. I fe
lt pa
infu
lly shy.
"I'd like
to co
me b
ack," sh
e sa
id.
"Any tim
e," 1
replie
d.
• T
he w
eek a
fter R
ose
mary's visit M
ichael a
nd I w
ent to
New
York to
try
out o
ur firs
t bra
in-a
ctiv
atin
g lig
ht s
how
. Billy
Hitc
hcock lo
aned u
s
the N
ew
Theate
r, a 2
99-sca
t house
in th
e E
ast F
ifties, fo
r a M
onday
nig
ht. T
he
afte
rno
on
be
fore
the
sho
w w
e sa
t in th
e fro
nt ro
w to
wa
tch
the w
izard
ry of th
e lig
ht-a
rtists. To e
xtern
alize
their visio
ns th
ese
artists
sho
t ele
ctric ligh
t thro
ug
h o
ptica
l de
vices, th
rou
gh
vials o
f colo
red
ge
latin
,
• atitit4L041iiitiiia`isg:iiir;%
;sattasiksisikf.,Siii.Srilise....4ttriktgiskrickSZkiiiii.itirilfitsrfriktOdidarIkiiiissikaK
eit'i.' •
tti
4.1
260 FLASHBACT-C11
"Turn on, tune in, take over," he shouted. I was pulled up to the stage by the promoters and squeezed between two surly bikers defending their precious space. People grabbed for the mike. I was pushed to the podium. I bellowed out my six words: -rums on, tune in, drop out." Then jumped offstage.
Back at Millbrook we pondered our next move. To continue the tour:. of celebrations seemed futile. Although we drew large crowds, the size' of the operation prevented us from showing a profit. And I had no desire. to spend more time as a show-biz trouper. I started lecturing at collegm By then I had become a nationally recognized symbol of change, and my campus visits stirred considerable drama. Sometimes fearful officials would attempt to ban my appearance, a tactic that unfailingly generated even more demand.
In between these sorties I finished the manuscript about our Harvard experiments and sent it off to the publisher. Entitled High Priest it was the best written and most favorably reviewed of my books to date.
In the spring of 1967 I solemnized a marriage between Bob Ross, our budding ecological-organic farming genius, and Carol, our long-time resi-dent.
Film and television crews went crazy over the photographic glories.-
of the wedding and made Millbrook an emblem of lyrical pastoral I signed the marriage certificate as presiding minister. Filed in Albany it served as testimony to the legality of our religion. Our lawyers were.; preparing briefs to defend the use of our sacraments in designated shrines. I wrote a small book, Start Your Own Religion, which outlined the legal, psychological, and spiritual steps involved in sacramentalizing one's life. We all sensed that the summer of 1967 was going to blossom into a nationwide festival of unprepared drug-taking, so I hoped that this manual on how to use drugs intelligently would serve as a guide to those who would soon be experimenting with new realities. As usual we had troubles in distribution; most bookstores and chains wouldn't handle it.
Outside the Gates of Eden civil war was raging. President Johnson re-vealed that close to 400,000 young Americans had been sent to fight in Vietnam. Demonstrations protesting the war erupted in New York and other cities. Evidence of federal trickery surfaced in articles exposing covert CIA financing and infiltration of thirty liberal, religious, and educa-tional groups, including the National Students Association. The CIA later cited presidential directives ordering these activities.
During my various encounters with law enforcement agencies I often thought of Mary Pinchot's warnings. Van and I continued to discuss our plans to investigate her murder but there was never time.
Ergence of the Drug Cultu
Igassment from C. Cord( ..,,inient escalated to a full-
op regularly around the - 'Inds was rousted. Polic t ouelikcepsie we received con
From a tactical viewpoint kept the premises free
tectirsions of arms
■Tuttiped-up charges. So we *ild forest on the northern a
on the rolling plain by Rosemary and I pitched o
I mile away from the main i Kc set up domestic life as it hi
eater, cooking meals over a and outer. During this perioc relationship between humans absolutely necessary to our set of C. Cordon Liddy never cat
One hot sunny day Rosem at I found the entire commt cord player. We joined them Lonely Hearts Club Band, a so-called Summer of Love. statement about multiple re. classic. Demographer Landor ties' Sergeant Pepper album v, it the closest Western Civiliz of Vienna in 1815.'
At this point who should r lion about LSD for a movie, the effects of LSD, and I qu I dropped by Otto's luxuriou' director persuaded me to ru one of those life-changers fo Arcadia to Otto's plastic-fang room, which bristled with d paraphernalia.
There was no fireplace. No As soon as the acid kicks
turned on the TV—sacrilege? sour cerebral aqueduct, pad.
Freedom? 365
where? You know any Brunos from Buffalo, Joey?' The two toughest mafiosos in the country wetting their pants. Then you walked in with those shades looking like the snakiest hit-man ever left Sicily. Did you learn that at Harvard? While you were in your cell reading, Joey's on the phone long-distance, calling all over the East Coast. Even called his mother to find out who you were."
After a month the fiction of my identity dissolved into farce. The San Diego press was hassling the warden to confirm rumors that the Famous Escapee was being held in the hometown slammer. Many cities are proud of their prisons and the notorious inmates.'
A cunning plot was devised to take the warden off the PR hot-seat. I was flown to Sacramento to spend the night in my old cell in the Yolo County jail; the next morning I was flown back to San Diego and registered under my own name. A press release then truthfully announced that I had just checked into the Federal Hilton.
Joey told me he phoned his mother with great pride to tell her the true identity of his new friend. "Know what she said? She said, `Stay away from that man, Joey, he'll get you in trouble.' "
WINTER 1975-1976
that the surface of a planet was the most unwieldy, expensive, and danger- ,.i.'- ous place to conduct a technological civilization. We were no longer ,,, "■:at . '
doomed to cling like barnacles to the slimy surface of this heavy planet. ., We could now migrate into space. O'Neill was not talking Star Trek fan- ',as- tasy or Sagan-stuff about colonizing other planets; he was pointing out
that the next easy step was migration to the orbital frontier. In the initial log-cabin era we would send up Space Lab platforms, bringing up tools and
materials to build industrial parks and solar stations. Eventually we would go on to fabricate mini-worlds, territories that the restless wave of Pioneers would then inhabit. All this would be done with less expense '' than building new cities on the home planet.'
As a lifelong escape artist, I was thrilled to learn that there was a Way out of here.
' One evening in February a headline in the San Francisco Chronicle -caught my eyel NEW JFK STORY—SEX, POT WITH ARTIST. James
FLASHBACKS
carton containing
iuietly.
to do• that to the
,orik, Tim,. it's or-:lf fired yesterday k." ier?"
That's G-I-O-R-D-
g to is heavy-duty ids. if it looks too
lobby, wall-to-wall i easy chairs, color
sat eyeing me. I narrow 'room with room in a brand-
ald look down on
other guests. Two fifty, and loeY, a ably killers. There 'whites, both crinu-merican Indian. a completed I wan-
d some books and ate. xl working on tltr
motioned me traa
except you sh(niki en a fan Of}nn:'
know what a :la: in. When 0,c L.,
r yone got acrm.
narcs are trying, v Orleans, to of us. But t"
By now I was really cooking with the reception and transmission of words. Twelve hours a day reading and writing. Lots of science. Thus it happened that I stumbled onto the great space colony revelation: that the next step in human evolution was up. Up into high orbit. Professor Gerard O'Neill of Princeton, in Stewart Brand's magazine, Co-Evolution Quarterly, over-turned our billion-year-old commitment to planetary gravity. He showed
366 F LA SHB AC S Freedom?
Truitt, the source for this sensational story, was identified as a forrioef
assistant to Philip Graham, publisher of the Washington Post. In inter-
views with the National Enquirer, Associated Press, and Washington Past
Truitt revealed that a woman named Mary Pinchot Meyer had conducted
a two-year love affair with President John Kennedy and had smoked
marijuana with him in a White House bedroom. A confidante of Mary
Meyer, Truitt told a Post correspondent that she and Kennedy met about
thirty times between January 1962 and November 1963, when Kennedy
was assassinated. Mary Meyer told Truitt that JFK had remarked: "This
isn't like cocaine. I'll get you some of that."
Truitt claimed that Mary Meyer kept a diary of her affair with the
president, which was found after her death by her sister Toni Bradlee
and turned over to James Angleton, who took the diary to CIA headquar-
ters and destroyed it. According to the Post "another source" confirmed
that Mary Meyer's diary was destroyed: "This source said the
diary . . . contained a few hundred words of vague reference to an un-
named friend." Kenneth P. O'Donnell, former White House appointments secretary,
confirmed that Mary Meyer made visits to the White House but denied
allegations of a love affair.
Toni Bradlee was quoted by the Associated Press as saying, "1 knew
nothing about it when Mary was alive."
According to the Post,
Angleton, who resigned as chief of CIA counterintelligence in 1975 following
disclosure of some illegal activities by his department, said that Meyer had
been a "cherished friend" of his and his wife's. He said that he had assisted
the family after Meyer's death in a "purely private capacity," also making
the funeral arrangements. He refused to say whether there had been a diary.
I lit a Camel, walked to the window, and looked through the bars
on San Diego Bay. So it was JFK that Mary had been turning on with.
Once again I sensed that Mary Pinchot Meyer's life and death were an
important part of modern history. More than we are ever likely to know.
After Jerry Brown became governor I was discharged from California
custody, having served thirty-two months for two roaches plus the es-
cape—twenty months longer than the maximum set in judicial guidelines
for such offenses. I had served almost two years on the Laredo case, The maximum
guideline-sentence for this crime was one year. Still the federal parole
board wouldn't let me go. In turning me down they cited my previous
criminal record—a $35 traffic offense dating back to 1938. It looked as
though I'd be i
November 1976.
In 1970, befoi
it was NO to of New Orleans
was getting a
get him to set a was now a mid
mellowed a bit.
was still a nefarit His zeal coul
a stroke a week 1 Judge Canna
with an Irish m
me on appeal Ix
John Milano house across tl-run down the moment when
who deserved tc A swarm of
Lots of local fr I flashed the 1
over the silver I
But was I? , getting into tht wants you to rt
I turned to J "Tell him w. Joanna and
hotel on the dining room
federal marshy "We have
is in danger. 1 al. Or you'll E
winked at that involve?"
"We give y be paid $800
I didn't b(
