B’nai Mitzvah Manual 5780 (2019-2020) · 2019. 9. 3. · B’nai Mitzvah Manual 5780 (2019-2020) Last updated: August 26, 2019 7 1.3 th7-grade Hebrew Class We are committed to the

B’naiMitzvahManual5780(2019-2020)

Lastupdated:August26,2019 2

INTRODUCTION.......................................................................................................................................................3WHATISBARORBATMITZVAH?......................................................................................................................4RELIGIOUSSCHOOLATTENDANCE...................................................................................................................5ELIGIBILITYFORB’NAIMITZVAH.....................................................................................................................51.1 SHABBATPARTICIPATION..........................................................................................................................................5

PREPARATIONFORBARANDBATMITZVAH................................................................................................51.2 RELIGIOUSSCHOOLANDMID-WEEKHEBREW......................................................................................................51.3 7TH-GRADEHEBREWCLASS.......................................................................................................................................71.4 CLERGYAPPOINTMENTS............................................................................................................................................7

WHATDOESABAR/BATMITZVAHDO?.........................................................................................................8SHABBATFRIDAYEVENINGBLESSINGS..........................................................................................................91.5 INSTRUCTIONSFORTHEHONOROFLEADINGTHEFRIDAYNIGHTCANDLEBLESSINGS...............................101.6 INSTRUCTIONSFORTHEHONOROFLEADINGTHEFRIDAYNIGHTKIDDUSH..................................................11

WHATDOTHEPARENTSOFTHEBAR/BATMITZVAHDO?..................................................................12CHOOSINGPEOPLETOPARTICIPATEINTHESERVICE...........................................................................13CHOOSINGPEOPLETOHELPDURINGTHESERVICE................................................................................14THEPARENTSPEECHONSATURDAYMORNING.......................................................................................15FREQUENTLYASKEDQUESTIONS..................................................................................................................15SCHEDULEOFBAR/BATMITZVAHFEES(ANDWHATTHATFEEINCLUDES).................................17THEDVARTORAH–INSTRUCTIONSFORTHEBAR/BATMITZVAH...................................................18SHABBATFRIDAYEVENINGBLESSINGS.......................................................................................................191.7 INSTRUCTIONSFORTHEHONOROFLEADINGTHEFRIDAYNIGHTCANDLEBLESSINGS...............................191.8 INSTRUCTIONSFORTHEHONOROFLEADINGTHEFRIDAYNIGHTKIDDUSH..................................................20

BLESSINGSFORTHEREADINGOFTORAHANDALTERNATIVEREADINGS......................................211.9 BLESSINGBEFORETHEREADINGOFTHETORAH................................................................................................211.10 BLESSINGAFTERREADINGTORAH........................................................................................................................221.11 ENGLISHREADINGSFORAFAMILYMEMBERWHOISNOTJEWISH................................................................23

ALIYAHANDHONORSFORM............................................................................................................................24HUSHERANDUSHERFORM..............................................................................................................................26



INTRODUCTION YourchildisabouttoprepareforaveryspecialoccasionuniquetotheJewishpeople.Asparents,youplayanimportantroleinthisprocess.InthecourseofourTemple’shistory,hundredsofboysandgirlshavemadetheirwaytoourpulpitontheoccasionofbecomingBarorBatMitzvah.Eachchildisunique,bringingtotheworshipservicestrengthsheorsheneverknewexisteduntildiscovereduponrecitationofthefirsttremulousbrachah,orthelastparagraphoftheirDvarTorah(wordofTorahorspeech).EachBarorBatMitzvahexperiencehasbeenanopportunityforpersonalgrowth,familyenrichmentandcommunaljoy.Asacongregation,wehavelearnedmuchfromthesumtotalofalltheseoccasions.Wehavelearnedespeciallythat,justasachildexperiencesnervousanticipationandagreatsenseofaccomplishment,sotooeachfamilyhasquestionsconcerningpreparationandreception:"whattodo,""howtogoaboutit,"and"when."Withthesequestionsinmind,thismanualwascompiledtoserveasahelpfulguideandchecklist.Itmaynotcompletelymitigatethemomentsofpanicthatbefallusall,butifitshouldcalmasinglejanglednerve,ithasbeenworththeeffort.Yoursuggestionsandadditionsforthenexteditionaremostwelcome.Shouldyouhaveanyquestionsatall,feelfreetocalluponanymemberoftheTempleClergyorstaffforassistance.TELEPHONENUMBERSandEMAILADDRESSESTempleOfficePhone 973-539-4539TempleFaxNumber 973-539-2758RabbiMichaelSatz [email protected]

CantorGalitDadounCohen [email protected]

ExecutiveDirectorJoelKatz [email protected]

ReligiousSchoolDirectorDavidIskovitz [email protected]

ReligiousSchoolAdministrativeAssistantBarbaraSherman

[email protected]

TempleAdministrativeAssistantKimLefferts [email protected]



WHAT IS BAR or BAT MITZVAH? Asfarbackasthe6thcentury,theageofmaturitywasestablishedas13foramaleand12½forafemale.UntilthelateMiddleAges,itwaspermissible,evendesirable,forboysandgirlstobemarriedattheseearlyages.(Fortunately,timeandvaluesdochange.)Thirteenwasalsotheacceptedageatwhichaboywasfullyreadyandknowledgeableenoughtoconductaworshipserviceandtobecountedinaminyan.AsaJewishtradition,BarMitzvahissome800yearsold.ItcameintobeingaboutthetimethatreligiousupheavalandpersecutionforcedJewstomovefromcommunitytocommunity.Asaceremony,itsfunctionwastoestablishineachcommunitythoseyoungsterswhoweresufficientlytrainedtoparticipateinworship.Overthecourseofthecenturies,BarMitzvahhascometobeviewedastheoccasionofspiritualawakeningandmoralresponsibility.Untilthatage,itwastheparent,specificallythefather,whoassumedallaccountabilityforachild’sactions.ItisinterestingtonotethatinatraditionalBarMitzvahceremony,thefather,withasenseofrelief,intonesthismostunusualblessing:“BaruchShep’taraniMayOnshoShelZeh–BlessedbetheONEwhohasrelievedmefromthe(spiritual/moral)burdenofthischild.”WhileBarMitzvahhasacenturies-longhistory,BatMitzvahisamorerecentJewishobservance.ThefirstBatMitzvahissaidtohavetakenplaceintheearlyyearsofthe20thcenturyandiscreditedtohavebeenJudithKaplan,thedaughterofRabbiMordecaiKaplan,andfounderoftheReconstructionistMovement.TodayinliberalJewishsynagogues,BatMitzvahandBarMitzvahareequivalentinmeaningandobservance.SpiritualadulthoodmeansthatfromBarorBatMitzvahforward,aJewisresponsibleforkeepinghisorherpromises,fastingonYomKippur,beingcountedforJewishworshipandlivingbythevaluesandprinciplesofJudaism.AtTempleB’naiOr,theBarorBatMitzvahisnotarequirementofthereligiousschool.Itishopedthatparentswillbereadytoputtheirceremonyinaproperandpositiveperspectiveforthechildandthatthechild,inundertakingthepreparationforthisceremony,willbeintrinsicallymotivatedandwilllookforwardtotheexperience.OncethedecisiontoprepareforbecomingaBarorBatMitzvahismadebythechildandparents,theClergy,theTemple,andthestaffcanbecountedontodoeverythingpossibletohelpmakethisapositiveandmeaningfulprocess.BarorBatMitzvahisavailabletoeveryJewishchildwhohasattendedatleastfouryearsofreligiousschool,oritsequivalent.However,thisceremonyisonlyonestageofachild’songoingJewisheducationatTempleB’naiOr;itisbynomeansaconclusion.Withthisinmind,itisexpectedthatprospectiveBarorBatMitzvahcandidatesintendtocontinueattendingreligiousschoolthroughConfirmation,whichoccurswiththecompletionofthetenthgradeandthengraduationinthetwelfthgrade.



RELIGIOUS SCHOOL ATTENDANCE InordertocelebrateaBarorBatMitzvahatTempleB'naiOr,studentsmustattendandfulfilltherequirementsforgrades3through7oftheTBOReligiousSchool.ForstudentswithspecialneedsorforstudentswhohaveenrolledintheReligiousSchoolaftercomingtoTBOfromanotherschoolorfromoutofthearea,theReligiousSchoolDirector,inconsultationwiththeClergy,willdeterminetheappropriateeducationalrequirementsforcelebratingaBarorBatMitzvahatTBO.ELIGIBILITY FOR B’NAI MITZVAH TobecomeaBarorBatMitzvah,youmustbeastudentingoodstandinginourReligiousSchoolwiththefollowingrequirementsmet:

1. ChildrenandparentsmustbeTemplememberswithallB’naiMitzvahfeesandTempleobligationsmet.

2. Because the benefit of class attendance cannot be recreated, students must be enrolled in Religious School for at least four years prior to becoming a Bar or Bat Mitzvah. Exception requests must be discussed with the Religious School Director.

3. Studentsmustbeenrolledin7thgradeReligiousSchoolregardlessofwhentheBarorBatMitzvahtakesplace.

4. StudentsmustsatisfytheBarorBatMitzvot“mitzvahproject”requirementaspartofthecurriculum.

1.1 ShabbatParticipationWeencouragestudentstoattendservicesasoftenaspossible.Theyshouldsigninforustokeeptrack.AllservicesmustbeattendedatTBO:Four(4)FridayeveningShabbatservicesineachgradeandone(1)Saturdaymorningservice.PREPARATION FOR BAR AND BAT MITZVAH Ourphilosophyistoensurethatyourchildhasallthenecessarytoolstolearnandmastertheirassignedmaterial.Whilewecannotlearnthematerialforthem,ourgoalistobeyourchild’sandyourpartnerinthisprocess.Yourchild’sBarorBatMitzvahtrainingwillconsistofthefollowingcomponents:1.2 ReligiousSchoolandMid-WeekHebrewInourreligiousschool,studentsstudyHebrewfromthe3rdthroughthe6thgrades.WhiletheydolearntheHebrewalphabetandprayersassociatedwiththeShabbatworshipservice,theyarenotreadytoreadfromtheTorahwithoutadditionaltutoringforthisspecifictask.



1. BarandBatMitzvahClassesinMid-WeekHebrewSchool

BarandBatMitzvahpreparationbeginsinthe6thgrade.ThisclassisdesignedtomotivatestudentstowardtheirBarorBatMitzvahstudiesandtofacilitatethestudents'developmentoffluencyinthespecificprayersandblessingsneededfortheBarorBatMitzvahservice.EachstudentwillreceiveabindercontainingthecompleteBar/BatMitzvahservice.Inaddition,studentswillbeassignedtheirindividualTorahandHaftarahportions.

2. TorahandHaftarahPreparationwithBarandBatMitzvahCoaches:

Inadditiontotheabove-mentionedclasses,eachBarorBatMitzvahstudentwillmeetwithanassignedBarorBatMitzvahcoach,whowillguideeachBarorBatMitzvahstudentthroughthelearningprocess.Eachchildwillhavefifteen(15)½hoursessionswiththeirinstructor.Sincethetutoringscheduleisextremelytight,itisimportantthatscheduledlessonsbeattendedconsistentlyandpromptly.Exceptinthecaseofillness,make-uplessonsarenotavailable.

Note: Ifyourchild’sBarorBatMitzvahisinSeptemberorOctober,pleasebesurethattheirsummerplansincludeBarorBatMitzvahtutoring,eitheratcamporathome.

Expectations:Studentsareexpectedtohavemasteredalltheprayersandblessingsstudiedintheir6thgradeclassesPRIORtotheirfirstmeetingwiththeBarorBatMitzvahCoach.

Inordertosuccessfullymasterthismaterial,itisexpectedthataBarorBatMitzvahcandidatewillstudythismaterialforahalfhoureverydayatthecommencementoftheseclasses.Inordertoensureeachchild’ssuccess,wereservetherighttolimittheamountofachild’sparticipationintheserviceifheorsheisnotspendingsufficienttimepreparing.

AnImportantNoteonEducationalNeeds:OurcongregationtakesgreatprideinmakingeveryBarandBatMitzvahcelebrationspecial.Thereareoccasionswhenspecialeducationalcircumstancesnecessitateanadjustmentinthestudent’smaterials.Ourexpectationisthateachstudentwillworkhardenoughandthatthelevelofeffortwillbedifferentforeachstudent.PleasefeelfreetodiscussanyconcernsyoumighthavewithRabbi,Cantor,ortheReligiousSchoolDirector.



1.3 7th-gradeHebrewClassWearecommittedtothesuccessofeachofourstudents.StudentsarerequiredtoattendaspecialMondaynightclassfrom6:00pmto6:30pmforHebrewprayerreviewupuntilthetimeoftheirBarorBatMitzvah.1.4 ClergyAppointments

A. Cantorwillhavetwo(2)sessionswitheachBarandBatMitzvahstudenttoreviewprayersandblessings.

B. Rabbiwillmeetwitheachstudentatleastthree(3)timestostudytheTorahportionandwriteaDvarTorah–ateachingbasedonalessonlearnedfromtheTorahportion.

C. Cantorwillconductthefirstfullfamilyrehearsal.Parentsmustbepresent.

STUDENTSAREEXPECTEDTOHAVEALLMATERIALCOMPLETED,MASTEREDANDREADY.PleasecompleteyourALIYAHANDHONORSFORM,includingHebrewnames,priortothismeeting.Ifyouhaveanyquestionsorconcerns,pleasesetupameetingwithamemberoftheClergypriortothistime.

ThefinalrehearsalwilltakeplacetheweekoftheBarorBatMitzvah.Duringtheserehearsals,wewillreview:

A. BarorBatMitzvahparticipationintheservice,includingreadingfromtheTorahandpresentationoftheDvarTorah

B. PassingtheTorahthroughthegenerations

C. Parentspeech

D. Aliyot(namesofthosehonoredbybeingcalleduptobimahtochantablessingbeforetheTorahreadingandablessingaftertheTorahreading)

ThesefamilyrehearsalsarethetimetobringanyfinalquestionsyouhaveconcerningtheBar/BatMitzvah.Wewilldoourverybesttomakeyouandyourfamilycomfortable.ItisNOTnecessaryforsiblingstoattendtheserehearsals.



WHAT DOES A BAR/BAT MITZVAH DO? TherearebasicallythreeareasofparticipationforaBarorBatMitzvahataShabbatmorningservice:tobeash’liachtzibur(leaderofworship);tochantfromtheTorahandtheHaftarah;andtoofferaDvarTorah,orteachingontheweek’sTorahorHaftarahportion.Sh’liachTziburOneoftheoldestandmostprestigiousrolesinthesynagogueisthesh’liachtzibur.Literally,the“representativeofthecommunity,”thesh’liachtziburleadsthecongregationinprayer.EachBarorBatMitzvahstudentjoinswithRabbiandCantorinthissacredrole.ThebasicHebrewprayersexpectedofallBarandBatMitzvahcandidatesare:

TallitblessingLa-asokB’divreiTorahEiluDvarim(TheObligations)BarchuSh’ma/V’ahavtaAvot/ImahotG’vurotK’dushah/L’dorVadorKiddushforShabbatEveningKiddushforShabbatMorning(V’shamru)Hamotzi

ThestudentmustalsoknowtheTorahandHaftarahblessings.Studentswhoareassignedthe“A”partwillberesponsiblefor:

YotzeirAhavahRabah

Studentswhoareassignedthe“B”partwillberesponsiblefor:ModimSimShalom

Briefdescriptionsoftheseprayersareprovidedinoureducationoverview:https://templebnaior.org/learn/religious-school/education-overview/ TheDvarTorah(TheSermon)PriortothereadingofTorahorHaftarah,theBarorBatMitzvahstudentwilldeliverabrief(three-tofour-minute)sermonontheweek’sTorahorHaftarahportion.ThisteachingwillbepreparedinconsultationwithRabbi.PleaseseeRabbiSatz’sguidelinesonwritingTHEDVARTORAH–INSTRUCTIONSFORTHEBAR/BATMITZVAH



Advartorahisa“wordofTorah”,alessonthatonedrawsfromatexttoteachtoothers.YouwillstudytheTorahportionwithRabbitofindsomethingmeaningfultoyou,andthenyouwillwriteadvartorahtoteachthisinsighttothecongregationduringtheSaturdaymorningservice.Becomingabar/batmitzvahisaboutbecomingaJewishadult.WeshowthatweareenteringadulthoodinourcommunitybydoingmitzvotthatJewishadultsdolikeleadingprayers,chantingTorah,andteachingTorah.Bywritingandthendeliveringadvartorahfromthebima,youwillbefulfillingthisimportantmitzvahofteaching.Step1—ReadthewholeTorahportioninEnglish,notjusttheversesthatyouarechanting.Whileyouarereading,youcanlookatthecommentaryforclarificationofsomeoftheverses.Afteryouhavereadtheportion,writedownthreethingsfromtheportionthatyouwouldliketodiscusswithRabbi.Thiscanbea“bigpicture”questionlike“WhyaretheretwocreationstoriesinBereshit?”Or,itcanbemorespecificlike,“Whataretzitzit?”Youcanwritedownsomethingthatistroublingorintriguingorsomethingyoudon’tunderstand,etc.ThisistheassignmentafterthefirstmeetingwithRabbi.Step2—YouwilldiscussthesethreethingsinyoursecondmeetingwithRabbi.HewilltrytobringideasthatJewishthinkersofthepasthavesaidaboutthesetopics.Onceallthreetopicshavebeendiscussed,youwillchooseonetowriteaboutinyourdvartorah.Step3—Writethedvartorahbeforeyouthirdmeeting.ItishelpfultoemailittoRabbiSatzbeforethemeeting.rabbisatz@templebnaior.orgHereisabriefoutlineofwhatadvartorahmightlooklike.

I. Thisweek’sTorahportionis___A. Inthisweek’sportionwefindtheverse,“______”B. ThisRabbiexplainstheversethisway...

II. IthinktheTorahissayingthisA. Howthispointrelatestoyourlife(mightincludeapersonalstory)B. Whatcanwealllearnfromthis?

III. Summaryand“ShabbatShalom”

Advartorahshouldbeabouttwopagesdouble-spaced.SHABBAT FRIDAY EVENING BLESSINGS



1.5 InstructionsforthehonorofleadingtheFridayNightCandleBlessings

1. WhenyournameiscalledbyRabbi,pleasestandinfrontofthemicrophonenearthecandlesontheupperbima.Cantorwillbegintosingaprayer“OhHearOurPrayer.”

2. WhenCantorsings“Letuslighttheselights”,usethelitcandletolighttheothertwocandles.Itdoesnotmatterwhichcandleyoulightfirst.Whenyouaredonelightingthecandles,replacetheoriginalcandleintheholder.

3. ReadtheEnglishtext.CantorwilltellyouwhichEnglishtextatyourchild’sfinalrehearsal.

4. RecitetheHebrewprayerandtheEnglishtranslationthatfollowsit:

BlessedareYou,AdonaiourGod,Sovereignoftheuniverse,whohallowsuswithmitzvot,commandingustokindlethelightofShabbat.

5. ThecongregationandCantorwillsingtheHebrewtext.6. Youmayreturntoyourseatwhenthemusichasended.



1.6 InstructionsforthehonorofleadingtheFridayNightKiddushWhenyournameiscalled,pleasegowithyourchildtothepulpitontheupperbima.Youmayshareyourchild’ssiddhur(prayerbook)onpage4.Liftthecupofwineandreadthefollowing:

Andtherewaseveningandtherewasmorning,thesixthday.TheHeavenandtheEarthwerefinished,andalltheirarray.OntheseventhdayGodfinishedtheworkthatGodhadbeendoing,andGodceasedontheseventhdayfromalltheworkthatGodhaddone.AndGodblessedtheseventhdayanddeclareditholy,becauseonitGodceasedfromalltheworkofcreationthatGodhaddone.

(DONOTTAKEASIP!)HandthecuptotheBar/BatMitzvahwhowillleadthecongregationinthechantingoftheKiddush:

Asthecongregationsings“Amen”,theBar/BatMitzvahwilltakeasipofthewineandhandthecuptoyou.Pleasefinishthecup–itwillbegoinghomewithyou.



.TheK’riatHaTorah(TorahReading)EachBarorBatMitzvahstudentassumestheroleoftheba-al(at)k’riah,“Torahreader,”fortheday.Thisentailsthelearningoffourparshiyot,orselectionsfromtheweek’sTorahportion,whichamountstotentotwelveverses.Eachstudentisexpectedtolearnthetrope,ortraditionalcantillationmelody.ThisskillistaughtbyCantorandthecoachesinprivatetutoringsessions.TheBarorBatMitzvahcandidatewillchanttheTorahblessingsonlyforthefourthandfinalaliyah,whichwecalltheMaftir.Thepreviousaliyotaregiventofamilymembersandfriends.TheHaftarahFollowingthereadingofTorah,theBarorBatMitzvahstudentwillchanttheHaftarah,orsecondarybiblicalreading,alongwiththeaccompanyingHaftarahblessings.LiketheTorahreading,theHaftarahischantedaccordingtoaspecificmelodytobelearnedwithCantor.ThenumberofversestobereadwillbedeterminedbyCantor.InthecaseofadoubleB’naiMitzvah,oneofthestudentswilldeliveraDvarTorahontheHaftarahportionandtheotherwilldelivertheDvarTorahontheTorahportion.FridayNightItiscustomaryfortheBarorBatMitzvahstudenttoleadthecongregationinKiddushattheFridaynightserviceprecedingtheBarorBatMitzvahservice.InthecaseofmultipleB’naiMitzvah,allstudentswillchanttheKiddushtogether.WHAT DO THE PARENTS OF THE BAR/BAT MITZVAH DO? DuringtheFridayNightService:BothparentsoftheBarorBatMitzvahcandidatewillparticipateinthecandlelightingand/orKiddushduringtheFridayeveningservicebeforetheirchildwillbecomeaBarorBatMitzvah.Ifthereismorethanonefamilyinvolved,RabbiandCantorwillplanasharedparticipation.Fridayeveningservicesbeginpromptlyat7:15pm.TheBarorBatMitzvahstudentmustbeatTempleby6:45pminordertopracticethekiddush.DuringtheSaturdayMorningService:DuringtheserviceonSaturdaymorning,theparentswilladdresstheirchildonthemeaningoftheoccasionandtheimportanceofJudaismintheirfamilyandpasstheTorahtohimorher.ParentswhoarenotJewishareincludedinmostoftheparentalroles.RabbiwillhappilydiscusswithyoutheinvolvementofaparentwhoisnotJewish.



CHOOSING PEOPLE TO PARTICIPATE IN THE SERVICE PassingtheTorahDuringtheTorahServiceaJewishparentandaJewishgrandparent,asrepresentativesofeachgeneration,willhandtheTorahtotheBarorBatMitzvahstudent,symbolicallyhandingdownourJewishheritagetothenextgeneration.Forfamilieswhodonothavegrandparentspresent,appropriatesubstitutescanbemade.TheBarorBatMitzvahcandidatethenleadstheHakafah(Torahprocession)throughthecongregation.TheentirefamilyistheninvitedtoparticipateintheHakafah.AttheconclusionoftheHakafah,everyonereturnstohisorherseat.HonorsandAliyotHonorsareanimportantpartoftheBarorBatMitzvahceremony.AvarietyofopportunitiesforfamilyandfriendsexistwithintheShabbatmorningworshipservice,asdetailedbelow.TheALIYAH AND HONORS FORMfortheClergycanbefoundinthismanual.ThisformshouldbereturnedtoCantorwhenyourchildbeginstoworkwithher.**PleasereturncompletedformstoCantor6WEEKSPRIORtoyourdate.ALIYOT(pluralforaliyah):Analiyahmeans"ascension".WeelevateourselveswhenreadingfromtheTorah.ItincludesablessingbeforetheTorahreadingandablessingaftertheTorahreading.Therearefouraliyot.Youmaychooseupto12individualsforthreeofthefouraliyot.Generally,thefirsttwoaliyotareforfriendsandfamily,andthethirdaliyahisfortheparent(s).ThelastaliyahisreferredtoastheMaftirandcallstheBarorBatMitzvahcandidateuptochanttheblessings.Inordertobecalledforanaliyah,apersonmust1)beJewish,2)beatleast13yearsofage,and3)beabletorecitetheblessingsinHebrew.HebrewandtransliteratedblessingswillbeavailableonthebimahandcanbefoundinBLESSINGS FOR THE READING OF TORAH AND ALTERNATIVE READINGS inthismanual.WECANNOTSTRESSENOUGHTHEIMPORTANCEOFTHOSEWHOAREBEINGCALLEDTORECITETHETORAHBLESSINGSTOPRACTICEBEFOREHAND,ESPECIALLYWITHTHOSEWITHWHOMTHEYWILLBESAYINGTHEMTOGETHER!ImportantNoteforFamilyMembersWhoAreNotJewishTherecitingoftheTorahblessingsisonlyperformedbyaJewishadult;however,afamilymemberwhoisnotJewishmaybehonoredduringanyaliyahwithoneoffouralternatereadingsin BLESSINGS FOR THE READING OF TORAH AND ALTERNATIVE READINGS.AtthefamilyrehearsalwithRabbi,pleaseindicatethepassagesthatyouandyourfamilymemberswillbereading.



AdditionalHonorsTORAHDRESSERS:Youcanselect2or3peopletocometothebimahtodresstheTorah.TheseindividualsdonothavetobeJewish,canbeofanyage,anddonotsayanything.TORAHHOLDER:OneJewishadultwillsitholdingtheTorahafteritisread.ForadoubleB'naiMitzvahceremony,onlyonepersondoesthis.CHOOSING PEOPLE TO HELP DURING THE SERVICE Thefamilyisalsoresponsibleforsupplyingsomehelpersfortheservice.Thenamesofthesepeopleneedtobesuppliedsix(6)weekspriortotheservice.PleaseusetheHUSHER AND USHER FORM.Thehelpersthatareneededare:Ushers.Togreetguestsastheyenterthesanctuaryandhandeachguestasiddur(prayerbook)andaShabbatmorninghandout.(Twoushersareneededforasingle,oneusherperfamilyforadouble.)Ushersneedtoremainatthedoorsuntil10minutesintotheservice.Ifyourassignedushershavenotarrivedby10:10amforthe10:30amservice,pleaseaskotherstoactintheirplaceuntiltheyarrive.Hushers.WearepleasedtohavethepeersofourB’naiMitzvahcandidatesasourguests.Pleaseprovideoneadult“husher”perevery10to12unaccompaniedyouthwhowillbeattendingtheservice.Thehusherssitoneithersideofthesectionreservedforyouthduringtheservice.Itistheirresponsibilitytomakesurethatthereisnotexcessivewhispering,orotherbehaviorinappropriateduringareligiousservice.Thehushers,iftheyfeelitnecessary,mayseparatechildrenwhoaredisruptiveoraskthemtositwiththeusher.Weprovideaspecialsectionreservedforyouth.Unaccompaniedyouthmaynotsitinthebalcony.PresenterfromtheTempleBoard.ArepresentativefromtheTempleBoardwillmakepresentationstotheB’naiMitzvahstudents.Note:Forthosewhoarehomeboundandunabletoattendtheserviceinperson,wearepleasedtoprovideLIVEstreamingoftheBarorBatMitzvahworshipservice.AlinktolivestreamingisavailableontheTBOhomepagehttps://templebnaior.org/.



THE PARENT SPEECH on SATURDAY MORNING TheremarksthatyouaddresstoyourchildaremeanttoputameaningfulframearoundthissacredoccasionandtheexperienceofbecomingaBarorBatMitzvah.

• Whatisitthatyouwishtopassontoyourchild?• Whatisyour“torah”–theJewishvaluesyouhavethatyouwishtogiveto

himorher?Inyourremarks,pleasefollowtheseguidelines:

1. Saywhatyouwouldliketosay,keepingyourremarksbrief.Understandthateveryoneisstandingduringthisentiretime.Theaddressshouldbenolongerthantwo(2)type-writtendouble-spacedpages,notincludingtheparagraphbelow.Thisis600wordsmaximum.

2. Saynothingembarrassingaboutortoyourchild.(Nobirthstories,please.)3. Pleasedonotmentionyourchild'sgradesinschool.Jewishself-esteem,for

yourchildorforchildrenlisteninginthecongregation,shouldbebasedonthekindofpersonyouare,notwhatgradesyouget.Makingreferencetohowwellonedoesinschoolwithoutsayinganythingaboutgradesmaybeappropriate.

4. Inadditiontosayingwhatyouwouldlikeaboutyourchild,makesurethatyoumakereferencetowhatitmeanstoyouandyourfamilytobepassingdownthistorah/theJewishheritage.

5. Remember,thisisnotabragsheet.Itisnotatimetorevisitallthewonderfulandimpressivemomentsinyourchild’sthirteenyearsoflife--e.g.,“whenyouwerethree,wewereamazedthatyousaid....”or"Iwillneverforgethowyoudid_____whenyouwereonlynine.”Rather,yourspeechshouldfocusonthevaluesandcharactertraitsyourchilddemonstratesaswellasthevaluesandcharactertraitsyouwishtoencourageinhimorher.WhatdoesitmeantoyouthatyouarepassingdowntheJewishheritagetoyourchild?

Pleasenote:ifoneoftheparentsisnotJewish,itistheJewishparentwhoholdstheTorah.TheparentwhoisnotJewishmaypresentthespeech.FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS WhotakescareoftheOnegShabbatandMotzi?ThefamilyoftheBarorBatMitzvahchildwillhostanOnegShabbatonFridayevening.TheTemplewillarrangeforfoodandsetup.Ifyouhavespecialneedsorrequests,pleaseinformtheExecutiveDirector.ThecontributionfortheOnegShabbatisincludedintheBarorBatMitzvahflatfee.OnSaturdaymorningaMotzi(blessingoverthechallah)intheSanctuaryortheSocialHallconcludestheservice.Alargechallahisprovided.



ShouldmychildwearaTallit(PrayerShawl)?YourchildmayweareitherafamilyTallit,oronepurchasedormadefortheoccasion.ItishopedthattheTallitisnotaBarorBatMitzvahcostumebutsomethingtobewornonacontinuingbasis.TallitotareavailablethroughourJudaicashop.DoIneedtosupplykippot(skullcaps),andifso,whatkind?ManyfamiliesorderkippottobeofferedtotheirguestsduringtheserviceinwhichtheirchildbecomesaBarorBatMitzvah.KippotareavailableforpurchasethroughourJudaicaShop.Thesekippotareputinthesanctuarylobbyonthemorningofyourchild’sserviceforworshipperswhochoosetowearthem.Ifyouchoosenottopurchasekippot,Templeprovidesthemforyourguests.Ifyouhaveanyquestionsconcerningwhatisandisnotwithintheguidelines,pleasecontactRabbi,Cantor,ortheExecutiveDirector.Whataboutphotographyandvideotaping?Photographyorvideotapingisnotpermittedduringtheservice.OftenphotographsaretakenonthemorningoftheBarorBatMitzvahservice,oryoumaychoosetotakephotographsonadifferentday.PleasebesuretocalltheTempleOfficetoschedulephototimesinordertoavoidschedulingconflictswithongoingTempleprogramsorevents.TheClergywillbeavailableforphotosonanappointmentbasistobescheduledthroughtheOfficestaff.WhattimeshouldIlistontheinvitation?10:15AM,for10:30AMservice.CanIhaveadinneratTemplepriortoShabbatservicesonFridaynight?TheBeitMidrashmayberentedforthisdinner.CanIhavemycelebrationatTempleaftertheSaturdaymorningservice?TheArestySocialHallmayberentedforyourcelebratoryluncheon.PleaseseeSCHEDULE OF BAR/BAT MITZVAH FEES (and what that fee includes)inthismanual.PleasecontacttheExecutiveDirectorifyouareinterestedinSocialHallrental.Ifoutsidecaterersaretobeused;checkwiththeExecutiveDirectorforguidelines.MyspouseandIaredivorced.Howisthathandled?Eachsituationisuniqueandhasitsownsensitivities.PleasediscussthiswithRabbiwhohashadyearsofexperiencewiththesematters.



SCHEDULE OF BAR/BAT MITZVAH FEES (and what that fee includes) Aflatratefeeof$2,000.00*willbebilledtoyouraccountatthetimeoftheB’naiMitzvahorientationmeetingfor6th-gradefamilies.PleasecontacttheTempleOfficesowecanarrangeapaymentschedule.*Thefeeincludes,mostsignificantly,Bar/BatMitzvahtrainingandcoachingsessions,individualandfamilymeetingswithRabbiandCantor,theOnegShabbatonFridayevening(food,set-up,etc.),flowersforthebimah,afamilycoffeestationforShabbatmorning,andchallahandwineforthemotzi. Bar/BatMitzvahtrainingandcoachingwillonlybeginafterallfinancialarrangementshavebeenmade.Thebalanceofallfees,includingtuitionforthereligiousschoolyearinwhichyourchildcelebratesbecomingBarorBarMitzvah,aredueinfullthree(3)monthspriortoyourchild’sBarorBatMitzvahdate. SocialHallusage,ifavailable:A$250.00depositisrequiredtoreservetheSocialHallorcourtyard,withthebalancedueinfullthree(3)monthspriortoyourceremony.Inaddition,caterersarerequiredtopaya$250securitydeposittwo(2)weekspriortotheBarorBatMitzvahdate.

LindaGrandisBlattArtGallery……………………………………………….……….……...$250.00*UsageFeeforSocialHallincludesKitchenuse........................................................$1000.00*UsageFeeforSocialHallforSimpleKiddush(noKitchenuse).........................,$750.00*UsageFeeforSocialHallandFoyer................................................................................$900.00*UsageFeeforCourtyard.......................................................................................................$500.00*UsageFeeforBeitMidrash……………………...................................................................$250.00**PricesaresubjecttochangeInhonorofyourchild’sBarorBatMitzvah,ortorecognizeorshowappreciationfortheClergyorprofessionalstaff,contributionsmaybemadeatyourdiscretionto:

RabbiSatzDiscretionaryFundCantorDadoun-Cohen’sDiscretionaryFundRabbiZ.DavidlevyEndowmentFundRabbiDonaldB.RossoffScholarshipFundJoel&HelenJacobsReligiousSchoolEndowmentFundBuildingFundGeneralGivingFundFrancesandHerbertBrodyPre-SchoolFundLisaK.GoldbergPre-SchoolFundShabbatShiraSecurityFund

PleaserefertoTEMPO,ourTempleDirectory,fordetailedinformationregardingeachfund.



THE DVAR TORAH – INSTRUCTIONS FOR THE BAR/BAT MITZVAH Advartorahisa“wordofTorah”,alessonthatonedrawsfromatexttoteachtoothers.YouwillstudytheTorahportionwithRabbitofindsomethingmeaningfultoyou,andthenyouwillwriteadvartorahtoteachthisinsighttothecongregationduringtheSaturdaymorningservice.Becomingabar/batmitzvahisaboutbecomingaJewishadult.WeshowthatweareenteringadulthoodinourcommunitybydoingmitzvotthatJewishadultsdolikeleadingprayers,chantingTorah,andteachingTorah.Bywritingandthendeliveringadvartorahfromthebima,youwillbefulfillingthisimportantmitzvahofteaching.Step1—ReadthewholeTorahportioninEnglish,notjusttheversesthatyouarechanting.Whileyouarereading,youcanlookatthecommentaryforclarificationofsomeoftheverses.Afteryouhavereadtheportion,writedownthreethingsfromtheportionthatyouwouldliketodiscusswithRabbi.Thiscanbea“bigpicture”questionlike“WhyaretheretwocreationstoriesinBereshit?”Or,itcanbemorespecificlike,“Whataretzitzit?”Youcanwritedownsomethingthatistroublingorintriguingorsomethingyoudon’tunderstand,etc.ThisistheassignmentafterthefirstmeetingwithRabbi.Step2—YouwilldiscussthesethreethingsinyoursecondmeetingwithRabbi.HewilltrytobringideasthatJewishthinkersofthepasthavesaidaboutthesetopics.Onceallthreetopicshavebeendiscussed,youwillchooseonetowriteaboutinyourdvartorah.Step3—Writethedvartorahbeforeyouthirdmeeting.ItishelpfultoemailittoRabbiSatzbeforethemeeting.rabbisatz@templebnaior.orgHereisabriefoutlineofwhatadvartorahmightlooklike.

IV. Thisweek’sTorahportionis___C. Inthisweek’sportionwefindtheverse,“______”D. ThisRabbiexplainstheversethisway...

V. IthinktheTorahissayingthisC. Howthispointrelatestoyourlife(mightincludeapersonalstory)D. Whatcanwealllearnfromthis?

VI. Summaryand“ShabbatShalom”

Advartorahshouldbeabouttwopagesdouble-spaced.



SHABBAT FRIDAY EVENING BLESSINGS 1.7 InstructionsforthehonorofleadingtheFridayNightCandleBlessings

7. WhenyournameiscalledbyRabbi,pleasestandinfrontofthemicrophonenearthecandlesontheupperbima.Cantorwillbegintosingaprayer“OhHearOurPrayer.”

8. WhenCantorsings“Letuslighttheselights”,usethelitcandletolighttheothertwocandles.Itdoesnotmatterwhichcandleyoulightfirst.Whenyouaredonelightingthecandles,replacetheoriginalcandleintheholder.

9. ReadtheEnglishtext.CantorwilltellyouwhichEnglishtextatyourchild’sfinalrehearsal.

10. RecitetheHebrewprayerandtheEnglishtranslationthatfollowsit:

BlessedareYou,AdonaiourGod,Sovereignoftheuniverse,whohallowsuswithmitzvot,commandingustokindlethelightofShabbat.

11. ThecongregationandCantorwillsingtheHebrewtext.12. Youmayreturntoyourseatwhenthemusichasended.



1.8 InstructionsforthehonorofleadingtheFridayNightKiddushWhenyournameiscalled,pleasegowithyourchildtothepulpitontheupperbima.Youmayshareyourchild’ssiddhur(prayerbook)onpage4.Liftthecupofwineandreadthefollowing:

Andtherewaseveningandtherewasmorning,thesixthday.TheHeavenandtheEarthwerefinished,andalltheirarray.OntheseventhdayGodfinishedtheworkthatGodhadbeendoing,andGodceasedontheseventhdayfromalltheworkthatGodhaddone.AndGodblessedtheseventhdayanddeclareditholy,becauseonitGodceasedfromalltheworkofcreationthatGodhaddone.

(DONOTTAKEASIP!)HandthecuptotheBar/BatMitzvahwhowillleadthecongregationinthechantingoftheKiddush:

Asthecongregationsings“Amen”,theBar/BatMitzvahwilltakeasipofthewineandhandthecuptoyou.Pleasefinishthecup–itwillbegoinghomewithyou.



BLESSINGS FOR THE READING OF TORAH AND ALTERNATIVE READINGS TheblessingsforthereadingoftheTorahinHebrewandtransliterationarebelowandwillbeprovidedtoyouonthebimah.Topreparetochanttheseblessings,weencourageyoutolistentothisrecordingoftheblessingsbeingchantedbyacantor:https://reformjudaism.org/sites/default/files/t10r6-torah-chanted.mp31.9 BlessingbeforethereadingoftheTorahThepersonwhoiscalledtotheTorah(Oleh/Olah)says:

Bar'chuetAdonaiham’vorach.BlessAdonaiwhoisblessed.Thecongregationresponds:

BaruchAdonaiham’vorachl’olamva-ed.BlessedisAdonaiwhoisblessednowandforever.TheOleh/Olahthensays:

BaruchAdonaiham’vorachl’olamva-ed.Baruchatah,AdonaiEloheinu,Melechhaolam,asherbacharbanumikolhaamim,v’natanlanuetTorato.Baruchatah,Adonai,noteinhaTorah.BlessedisAdonaiwhoisblessednowandforever.BlessedareYou,AdonaiourGod,Sovereignoftheuniverse,whohaschosenusfromamongthepeoples,andgivenustheTorah.BlessedareYou,Adonai,whogivestheTorah.



1.10 BlessingafterreadingTorahWhenthereadingconcludes,theOleh/Olahsays:

Baruchatah,AdonaiEloheinu,Melechhaolam,ashernatanlanuToratemet,v’chayeiolamnatab’tocheinu.Baruchatah,Adonai,noteinhaTorah.BlessedareYou,AdonaiourGod,Sovereignoftheuniverse,whohasgivenusaTorahoftruth,implantingwithinuseternallife.BlessedareYou,Adonai,whogivestheTorah.



1.11 EnglishReadingsforaFamilyMemberWhoisNotJewish(PleaseChooseOneReading)

Sourceofallknowledge,teacherofallhumanity,yourevealyourselftousintheorderandbeautyofnature,inthecallofconscience,andinthegreatnessofmomentssuchasthis.Theheartsandmindsofchildrensenseyourpresence,asitiswritten:"OutofthemouthsoftheyoungYouhaveestablishedyourstrength."Wethankyoufortheblessingoflifeandgrowth;oflearningandknowledge.Maytheybringustogreaterdeedsofgoodnessintheyearstocome.Humblydowegivethanksforthisdayandfortheyearsofgrowthandlearningthathaveprecededit.Nowas______________stepsforwardtoaffirmhis/hercommitmenttotheidealsandgoodnessshe/hehasbeentaught,oursoulsarejoyfulandourmindsatpeace.Wepraythatthisday’sservicemaylongechoin_______________memory.Mayitbeengravedonthetabletofher/hishearttheunderstandingthatthisdayinitiatesalifemorefirmlydedicatedtohis/herheritage,todeedsofjusticeandkindness,andtofaithfulmembershipinthecommunityofallhumanity.OGod,makeeachofusaworthyexampletothenextgeneration.Letnothingestrangeusfromthemandfromyou,thesourceofallgoodnessandcompassion.Helpus,againandagain,torenewourattachmenttoallpeople,towalkhand-in-handwith_________________towardalifeofmeaningandrighteousness.



ALIYAH AND HONORS FORM Pleaseemail,mail,fax,ordropoffthisformtoCantoratyourfirstmeetingwithher.Keepacopyforyourself.PLEASEPRINTCLEARLY.Candidate:________________________________________Bar/BatMitzvahDate_________________Candidate’sHebrewName___________________________________________________________________Mother’sName________________________Mother’sHebrewName___________________________Father’sName_________________________Father’sHebrewName____________________________Siblings’Namesandages______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

ALIYOT:Maximumof12,nominimum.PLEASEPRINTCLEARLYTheHebrewTorahblessingsmustbedonebyJewishfamilymembersorfriends.FamilymemberswhoarenotJewishcancomeuptothebimahtochooseaspecialEnglishReadingsforaFamilyMemberWhoisNotJewish.IfyouwouldliketohaveyourfamilymemberswhoarenotJewishparticipate,pleaseindicateontheformthattheywillbereadingEnglishOnly.

ALYIAH1EnglishName HebrewName HebrewNamesofMother&Father Relationship

ALIYAH2EnglishName HebrewName HebrewNamesofMother&Father Relationship

ALIYAH3EnglishName HebrewName HebrewNamesofMother&Father RelationshipParentsofBar/BatMitzvahand,ifdesired,siblingsovertheageof13. Continuedonnextpage



AliyahandHonorsFormContinuedTorahDressers: _____________________________________,__________________________________,_____________________________________,__________________________________TorahHolder:(anyadultorpostBar/tMitzvahindividual)______________________________________________________________________WillBar/BatMitzvahcandidatebewearingaTallit?(pleasecircle)YESNOWhowillbeplacingtheTallit?__________________________________________________Whowillbegivingaspeech?(pleasecircle).MOM DADWhentakingtheouttheTorah,shallwehanditto(pleasecircle) MOM DADWillBar/BatMitzvahcandidateneedastepatthebimah?YES NO NOTSUREKaddish:PleaselistbelownamesthatyouwouldlikecommemoratedwhenreadingKaddish.________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________



HUSHER AND USHER FORM ShortlyyouwillbecelebratingyourchildbecomingaBar/BatMitzvah.Listedbelowarethepositionsandhonorsthatneedtobefilled.PLEASECALLTHEOFFICEIFYOUHAVEANYQUESTIONS973.539.4539.PLEASEEMAIL,MAILORFAX(973.539.2758)THISSHEETTOTHETEMPLEOFFICESIXWEEKSPRIORTOTHEBAR/BATMITZVAHDATE.BESURETOKEEPACOPYFORYOURSELF.PLEASEPRINTALLNAMESASYOUWANTTHEMTOAPPEARINPROGRAM.Candidate:_____________________________________Bar/BatMitzvahdate:_____________NumberofGuestsexpectedatFridayService:__________NumberofGuestsexpectedatSaturdayService.Adults:_______Children:______ USHERS: ThefollowinghaveagreedtobeUshersattheService:_____________________________________________________________________________________________(oneforadouble,twoforasingle) HUSHERS:Weexpecttohaveapproximately_____unaccompaniedyouthattheService,requiring_____“hushers”(oneper10-12youth).ThefollowinghaveagreedtobeHushersattheService:_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________KIPPOT: WillyouhavepersonalizedKippot?(Pleasecircle)YESNO

Documents

B’nai Mitzvah Manual 5780 (2019-2020) · 2019. 9. 3. · B’nai Mitzvah Manual 5780 (2019-2020) Last updated: August 26, 2019 7 1.3 th7-grade Hebrew Class We are committed to the