Banshee Sides

My first artifact is a small but thick booklet of paper from my time on the production set

of the first season of a show called Banshee, which was filmed between June and September of

2012. “Sides,” as they were referred to, were created each day to help the crew keep up with

the scenes we were working on that day. This artifact represents my entire experience on the

Banshee production set. I chose this artifact in particular because it also is an example of some

of the language that I needed to learn in that new world. The “sides” that each person on set

received at the beginning of each day contained only the pages of the complete script that we

would be filming that particular day, printed on half-sheets of paper and stapled into a packet.

They were important because they helped us keep up with what we were doing that day, what

each set member needed to prepare for based on the requirements of each scene, and how

much time we could allot to each scene in order to get through everything that day. In the

beginning, even the term “sides” required translation into a language I could understand. I had

no idea what I was doing and it was terrifying. On my first day, all I knew was that I had

received a text message the day before, from a friend I hadn’t seen in at least a year, asking if I

wanted a job. I had responded yes, expecting her to elaborate. The only “elaboration” I got,

however, was that I’d be working in “camera” on the “set” where she worked and it would be

for probably three days, with very good pay. For a planner like me, this was nowhere near

enough information. I didn’t know anything about this show she was working on or anything

about what I was expected to be doing there. But after allowing myself only a moment of

hesitation, I concluded that I really needed the extra money since I had yet to find a summer

job back in my hometown. So I took a risk and said I’d be there, saying a quick prayer in my

head that I wasn’t going to be walking onto a porn set. When I drove up to our filming location

on my first day, I honestly thought I’d be working with people who took pictures. I was

overwhelmed and panicked the entire first day. I had no idea what I needed to do or where I

needed to be at any moment. When someone handed me this packet of paper they called

“sides,” I just stared at it, wide-eyed, thinking, “What on earth am I supposed to do with this?” I

was terrified and completely out of my comfort zone. The whole world around me was fast-

paced, highly stressful, crude, and dysfunctional; but it was completely addictive. Despite all of

the mixed emotions of my first day, I couldn’t wait to do it all again the next day, and I didn’t

even really know why. In the end, my experience on Banshee was a time of immense growth

which helped me expand my horizons and adjust my expectations of the future.

This artifact is particularly significant to me because it was one of the most exciting and

incredible experiences of my college career; one that refueled my confidence in my future.

When I got the job on Banshee, I had just come back from France and was no longer sure of the

person that I was or who I had become. I had gone through so many changes while I was gone,

yet I had to come back and refill the shoes that the old me had left behind. I couldn’t even

explain how I had changed or why I felt so different; I just knew that I wasn’t the same

anymore. I wasn’t as naïve as I used to be, but part of overcoming my naivety involved

abandoning some of my innocence. I had done more, tried more, seen more, and experienced

more when I was gone, and it changed me. I guess everyone goes through lots of changes over

the course of half a year. It just seemed more prominent because no one at home had seen me

change. Now that I was back home, it was like suddenly I was seeing all of my changes because I

felt like I had to be the person I was before, and I could never be that person again. It was like

two versions of me had collided, and I had never been less sure of myself. I was questioning

everything: who I was, the path I had chosen, and the prospects of my future.

I had become very lost and was losing hope in a prosperous future. I didn’t know what

job I was going to have or if there was any particular thing or skill in which I was truly

EXCELLENT. I had always been “good” at a lot of different things, making choosing one path for

myself very difficult. I was afraid that I had spent too much time trying to dabble in a little bit of

everything, and that it would hurt me in the long run. But when I was working on Banshee, I

wasn’t just “alright;” I was great. All of my co-workers were incredibly impressed with how well

and how quickly I picked up on the whole world. It was a new experience, a new world, and a

new language; but after some practice, I learned the language, I learned the culture, and before

I knew it, the world was translated and I understood it.

When I look back at it now, I see a period of transition in my life. I was still confused

about who I was and what I wanted to do with my life when the season ended; taking the best

job I’d ever had with it. But I had still come a long way from the person I was before Banshee.

The experience helped me figure out who I did and did not want to be. I realized that I couldn’t

be the old me anymore, but I also realized that I didn’t have to be the person I became in

France or the person I was before France. I could take everything I’d learned and experienced,

all my successes and failures, and work toward a new, better me. I could never change back to

who I once was, but I could always move forward to a new and different me. It was an

important stepping stone on my path to self-acceptance. I was never going to be the same

innocent girl that I used to be, and that was okay.

I chose this artifact because I knew I wanted to have something that represented this

important aspect of my college career. But more specifically, I liked this artifact in particular

because of its link to my overall theme of translation. The sides were different every day, but

the first day I worked on set and someone handed me the sides, they might as well have been

in Chinese. I didn’t understand how to use them, what they meant, why everything on them

seemed to be out of order, why some days they were half-an-inch thick and some days they

were 3 pages long; it was all so confusing! But by the end of my time there, I understood

everything about the sides and I understood how important they were in keeping the day’s

operations running smoothly. Before I learned French, looking at a book in French meant

nothing to me; it was useless. But now, I have learned everything I need to be able to

understand a book in French and translate it into English. The sides mirror that same language-

learning relationship.