The Nine Behavioral Skills in Intrapersonal Communications

The Nine Behavioral Skills in Intrapersonal CommunicationsSrinivas Rao BhairySources: The Art of Communicating (revised ed) by Bert Decker (1988 Crisp Publications) session Objectives:Why intrapersonal communication is more an art rather than a science. Understand the nine behavioral skills of an effective intrapersonal communication.Increase the effectiveness of communicating with other people by changing one habit a day.Encourage practical feedback to ensure what is being learned is applied. Some Personal ObjectivesBe effective in communicating oneself in different situations like:

a job interview a business meeting a marriage proposal a cocktail party a project proposal a speech for large audience a sales meeting a thesis presentation a debate a stockholders meeting a class with adult learnersMANY MOREAs a result.YOUexperience moreconfidence; betterjob performance; improvedwork relationships; better social skills & exhibit stronger leadership qualities.- Part One -Some Points to Consider About Intrapersonal Communications

Why Communicating with Others is Considered an Art?Before an artist becomes a master in his craft, one has to learn the basic principles first, after which he hones what he has learned in creating masterpieces using his own style & creativity. That is also the same way with communicating with other people. After we learn the basics of the English language, we then apply them using our personality, creativity and tact. An effective communicator often has unique techniques in dealing which different kind of people. Why Apply the Art of Communication?To save on the effort & time in communicating something if we communicate with confidence & tact.We get the results or responses we want faster. People will seldom misunderstand what you really mean.We gain a great deal of respect for ourselves and from other people.We earn more if we are confident in using persuasive communication in business.

What Really Counts in Intrapersonal Communications?The key ingredient is BELIEVABILITY!Participants will believe us what we are teaching if we master the way you present lessons in class.People will buy your product if they feel you are sincere of what you saying.Investors will lend you money if they know you are credible and honest about your business.Your children will respect you if they know you mean what you say.

Three Vs of communicationVisual : Posture , Body language, Gestures, Facial expression

Vocal : Pace, Tone, Pausing, Pitch, Rhythm, Projection

Verbal : Clarity, Consistency,Words selection

Verbal? Vocal? Visual?The Consistent Message

Verbal25%Vocal35%Visual40%total 100%

The Inconsistent Message*

Verbal07%Vocal38%Visual55%total 100%

* According to Prof . Albert Merhabian, UCLA in those cases we are under pressure or nervous about what want to tell, we tend to block our content and give a very inconsistent message. Example speak in trembling voice, cold, sweaty hands. People then see what you acted like more than what you are trying to say.- Part Two -The Nine Behavioral Skills in Intrapersonal Communication

1. Eye Communication:

Intimacy, Intimidation & Involvement-it means looking at a person for 10 seconds to a minute or more.Five Seconds for More Effectiveness -when you are trying to emphasize a point.Beware of an Eye Dart (like a scared rabbit!)-we tend to look away and avoid looking at a person when we feel nervous or awkward.

Look sincerely and steadily with another personEye Communication (Cont)Beware of Slow-Blink-Our eyelids tend to close for more than 2 seconds, saying really dont want to be here!Notice How TV Hosts Interview Guests-having a role model is always the first step to take.Try to Look on the Nose Bridge Right in the Middle of the Eyes-rather than looking strait in the eye which may feel awkward on the part of the audience, try look on the forehead area. They will stiff feel the eye contact minus the strain.2. Posture & MovementLearn to stand tall body move naturally with ease.Stand Tall-Poor upper body posture reflects poor self-esteem.Watch our Lower Body-watch how your hip, legs and feet move when you are talking to somebody.Use the ready position- ready position means putting your weight forward.Posture & Movement (cont)Move-move a bit while talking like making gestures & walk around.Use your Own Style- adapt what you have learned in posture & movement in your own personal style. Practice in front of a mirror or a friend.

3. Gestures & Facial expressionsFind-out your Habits-videotape yourself while practicing a speech or lecture. Youll notice more habit you sub-consciously practicing like jerking, excessive hand movements & uttering sounds.Learn to be relaxed & natural when you speakFind-out your Nervous Gestures-list down the thing you do when you get nervous. A close friend might help you discover them. Dont emphasize on the feeling of excitement. Do you tend to arm lock at the person you talk to? Or you tend to give a stop hand sign?

Gestures & Facial expressions (cont )You Cant Over-Exaggerate !-Try to exaggerate your gesture, they surprisingly look natural than limiting yourself.Smile!-A smile give ease & acceptance to the person you are talking with. It also relieves intimidation & sincerity. Remember your Personality Factor -People will buy your ideas if they like you.4. Dress & Appearance

to dress, to groom and appear appropriate to the environment as well as to yourself.Be Appropriate-You dont need to buy any expensive suit. Any professional and decent clothing you own will do. Dress at Conscious Level -Be conscious on what you wear. Look hard in the mirror if it works for you. Walk around to see if it is comfortable to wear.Clothes Mean a Lot to your Audience-what you wear communicates extensively on how you feel about yourself. Dress & Appearance (Cont)Pick Five People -Choose five people you know well and analyze the way they dress & groom. Pick every detail (jewelry, glasses, make-up etc). As you gain consciousness to other people, so you do to yourself. Do some research.Nobody will Tell You-Very few people will tell you what they think about your appearance out of politeness. So plan your clothing ahead of time.Pick a New Outfit, try a New Look-youll never know how you will look unless you try a new one. Consult a image/beauty expert on before trying a new haircut. Department store have free trials on Make-up so take advantage!5. Voice & Vocal VarietyEmphasize the Right WordNow is the time to change-emphasis is critically important depending on the word you need to emphasize. Call Companies-Call five companies and analyze how each project a welcoming tone for business. Try to model from them.Record Yourself-The best exercise to improve vocal skills is to record your own voice. Learn breathing, pacing & enunciating while speaking.use your voice as an effective tool, not a barrier in communication .6. Languge, Pauses & Non-wordsuse appropriate and clear language for your listeners, with planned pauses and no non-words.Use Direct Language- State want you ask & mean. Replace the phrases Ill try with I will or We cant with You can .Example BIndirect:Im sorry, but we cant give you a discount right now. Direct: Discounts are currently unavailable but Ill let you know the moment we have one.Example AIndirect:Ill try to submit the sales report this afternoon, OK?Direct: I will submit the report on your desk before 4PM, is that alright with you?Languge, Pauses & Non-wordsVocabulary Increases with Use-our effectiveness in communication is graded by our choice of word. Increase vocabulary through incorporation of new words.Beware of Jargon-Share jargon only with people who understand the same language.The PauseA Important Tool-Pause naturally for 3-4 seconds. It allows you to breathe and think about your next moves. Replace you non-words with pauses instead.7. Listener involvementEngage in Interaction-Ask questions and their opinion. Limit the I & me in the conversation. Be interested in other people.Enhance Your Style-Include a dramatic opening and visual aids. Maintain eye contact & move around more.Plan Content Ahead-Always think of the benefits your conversation your audience get from your listeners. Add a little humor.maintain an active interest and involvement of each person with whom you are communicating, whether a single person or a thousand.8. HumorDo Tell Stories and Anecdotes -use personal stories and funny situations to connect with your audience.Dont Tell Jokes-Unless your really an effective teller, do not tell jokes in formal situations.Be aware of Feedback-Feedback is a good guide on making yourself improve on humor.Create a bond with your listeners, enabling them to enjoy listening to you more.9. The Natural SelfCommunicating is a Lifelong Process-Language is an ever-evolving tool just like fashion. So does communication always get ahead with the changes. Learn Like a Juggler-Learn one skill at a time & add them once they become a habit.GOOD LUCK!be authentic. To be yourself in all circumstances, understanding your streangths & converting weaknesses into assets.