BECOMING A GUN

7/30/2019 BECOMING A GUN

1/23

BECOMING A GUN

[email protected]

PROLOGUE

Manduzama is a coastal country

Situated between the southern borders of Nigeria and Cameroon.

This little rainforest has also felt the scourge of colonialism;

The confusion of sudden westernisation.

But there are a few who were left untouched

1


2/23

Deep in the heart of the gloomy wild.

They had never known the immense heights

Of great structures that can carry a thousand men,

The sight of dazzling night lights,

The magic of electricity.This is the story of war.

The story of a young boy of the wild,To whom large war tanks seem like logs of iron.

Trucks and automobiles look like

Large metal horses that carry people.

This is the story of his fate;

The same which befell his people

CHAPTER ONE

My home lies in the lands that lie beneath the hill in the distance. The grass leaves sway in sunlight at the

foot of the hill, like tall sugar canes growing in a swamp of gold. The breezes move freely through the grass

blades where the fertile lands once bore neat rows of corn beside the evening fires of a resting village. Igrew up in Ikanye; the lap of the Kind-hearted One who dwells in the dark soils of the smiling hill.

Dust makes haste for the silvery skies. The smiling hill watches me, from beyond the blades of the tall

grass leaves. We stand in the wooden back of the metal horse, carrying our guns on our backs. The many of

us are children, but there is a loud silence; no laughter, no words; not even the echo of a dying whisper.

There is no sound of life coming from the distance; only that of shrill squeaking and the sound of heavy

bumps, as the metal horse totters along the dusty path. The world is moving at slow pace, bringing to me

nothing but revelations of a familiar sight.

I can feel the eyes of a soldier, drilling into my back. He is nodding from his seat upon the railing, as if

to say, Now this is your home, isnt it? I look away from him. I do not want to see his face I move my

eyes unto the other children. I stare at their pale hard faces; their cracked dry lips. I can see in their eyes thesame fear that weakens the walls in my chest. I am of the wild and they are of the city. They speak in my

tongue, but they are not my people. They do not understand the ways ofIliahangwea, the spirits and the

ancestors. They like to talk a lot, but they seldom make sense.I can feel the foul breath of two people battering my face. The back of the metal horse is stuffy. It

stinks of long-dried sweat and putrefaction. It is sending sharp pains rushing through my head. I am trapped

between the trunks of people and the railing of the metal horse. The smelly bodies are too close; I can

hardly breathe. Where we are going to, it is very dangerous. We stand in silence, lost in our mysterious

thoughts. We are off to fight a war that is not our own. Some of us will get lost and be picked up by othersoldiers. Some of us will die. Some of us will be maimed; wounded too severely to be any good for

aLiterally meaning, the Kind-hearted One

2


3/23

fighting; the soldiers would then not need us anymore. They will get on the metal horse and ride and they

will leave us behind, screaming for mercy. But we hold our guns to our chests as if they are our only

treasure. This is not pretence with our mouths and short sticks. We fight to kill.

I take the pendant of my talisman in my palm. I slowly rub it gently, like I would my baby sisters

finger. I can see an ant running around the wrist of the boy standing next to me. I look into his face. He isstaring down at it and smiling. It makes me sad to think, that he is so different, but just like me. We are all

children, we will rather play. But we are killed if we refuse to fight. And we die, when we fight. There aretears coming into my eyes and I dont want anybody to see. A big dark girl clings unto her gun in the

corner of the horse. Her face is crumpled by a frown and she is staring at me. So I turn away from the

people and glare back into the distance.

Induwe that is the name of the smiling hill; the bosom of the mother-god who calls the rains to come

and feed us; the sanctuary from which the trees are sent to walk the endless miles of the earth. They say

there is a spirit that lurks in the mist. Every evening, he lingers in the treetops to watch the mother-godbathe in the golden stream at the bottom of the hill. They say that the dawns are silenced by his grief; the

unseen one who lurks in the mist. Every morning, he moves closer to the smell of the moist earth and

whispers to the leaves with his dew. He seeks the affection and love of the Kind-hearted One, but can never

find it, for the great love of the mother-god, is forever bound to the sky and to her children.

I turn fourteen next month. And I hope the kindness and the love of the gods and the spirits will protect

me. I look at my wrist and glance at the arm of the boy standing next to me. I am very small indeed; very

small for my age. Most of these people think I am nine.

The air is murmuring into my ears. The dried winds are leaving now. Soon, it will be time for theplanting season. The shrubs will glow with giggling flowers. The butterflies will fill Ikanye with dancing

colours I think of my Grandpa; what would he have been doing around this time? I can hear him callingin my head already: Soli, the rains will soon come. If you sleep all through the morning like your cousin,

we will have to beg for corn till the next rainy season. I can almost feel the sensation of his arm tapping

the curve of my shoulder. I lazily roll to the side, dangerously closer to my cousins strong breath. The

morning is filled with the sound of a baby crying. Through the doorway, I can see my mother Miimi, busy

with my little sister Tego. The aroma of maize porridge glides in through the gaping doorway. I can hear

Grandpa angrily tapping my cousin: Injuke, wake up!

I am also awake from the slumber of the daydream. Yes, the rains will soon come to Induwe and to

Ikanye. The skies will swell above the broadleaves with soft rain clouds that will wipe away the heat.Water will wet the clods of dust Then the gentle arm of a graceful silence will lift it and move over the

moistened earth. The birds will free their voices in songs again and the lilt in their magic will trickle down

the lush greenery of Induwe. The good rains will be sweet, but there will be none to smell it.There is a thick canopy that drapes the nakedness of Induwe. A forked path lies through it. It ascends

and comes together again on the other side of the hill. You can see that fork clearly from Ikanye. It is

beautiful. They say it was made by the early hunters. We could see it from the big compound, where we

lived. And I would like to see it again. But I fear to go back there. That place will be lonely and full of

memory; and that is why I fear the end of this war.There was a small path that led into our compound. I cannot tell if it is still there. Quite soon, the

breath of time will blow out the torch of the afternoon; who will relight the big red fire in Grandpas hut? I

miss the sound of our old forge; the games I used to play with my friends and Injuke my cousin. I miss the

heavy sound of the mens laughter seeping through the glowing forge My windpipe hurts; I can feel the

air in my breath choking my throat. My vision is getting blurry; my eyes are filling with tears but I dont

want to cry. I am afraid I to accept that I will never see Grandpa again.

I was there that evening when the wounded green soldiers came in. They were moaning. Their clothes

were muddy. I saw one of them holding his palm over his breast. Blood was trickling down the length ofhis shivering arm. Grandpa had his arm around one of them. Anothers arm was wrapped around Kundele,

Grandpas best apprentice. Three strong men from our village came in with more of them.Miimi said they were soldiers from the city. I was confused because big boys like Injuke said people

from the city dressed in nice silk and traded with colourful paper and sometimes, small pieces of shiny

metal. I wanted to know why those men were different. But I did not ask Miimi because she was always

scared to tell me the truth about serious things. She would only say: Soli, my son, you are only thirteen

years old. There are some things that just dont matter, some things that children mustnt know and some

things that children cannot understand.

3


4/23

I never understood why she wouldnt tell me who my father was or why we had to leave Tegos

fathers hut soon after Tego was born. But maybe, Miimi was right; there are things that children must not

know. It has been four months since I last saw her or my sister Tego. And I have known a lot of fear. And I

do wish I were much older so I could deal better with my pain. But, I fear to grow too, for maybe there is

only more war in the future; more painThere was a lot of wailing and moaning that night. I didnt get any sleep. I sat up all night, watching

Grandpa and the other men dressing the sores of the wounded soldiers. That night, one of the soldiers died.I saw Grandpa lift a hand to cover the dead mans eyes. Injuke suddenly appeared behind me and whisked

me off into my mothers hut. He said corpses were no sight for children. I was so annoyed I began cursing.

But when I calmed down, I was secretly glad he pulled me away. I did not like Injuke very much. The

bones that peeped out through red flesh of the soldiers and the gory sight of blood I had seen had been

getting too much for me.

Later, I began wondering where Injuke had appeared from. Grandpa had called him earlier, to comeand help carry the wounded soldiers. Injuke ran off into the fields instead, to set up more snares for the

birds

The metal horse is galloping much faster now. I am clinging onto a railing, being squeezed between

the old wood and the massive body of a brawny young man. His skin looks white and flaky; paled by the

harmattan. I am remembering that night. I am remembering Injuke; and I am smiling I am seated,

recalling the serious look on Grandpas face, the cautious and delicate attention he gave every little stroke

and the calm look of relief on one soldiers face. I remember how proud I was that he was my grandfather.

An agbelibcried that night. I am sure of it now. There had been too many moans and groans for me tobe certain. But I now know I heard an agbeli crying. It was a bad omen. A word of caution. It came from

the backyard. Injuke must have heard it too, for I remember seeing him sitting quietly in the corner of mymothers hut, staring at the wall with fearful suspicion.

The green soldiers could have warned us, but they didnt. They feared we would turn our backs on

them and leave them to die. A peril was prowling through the city and spreading like a bushfire. We, the

Tsina, the people of the wild, knew nothing about it. Then came that fateful day when the messenger from

The Edge of the World came running in.

Tsina, ika tsiliba alofio oc!Ika tsiliba alofio o! he cried. Our people were in trouble. He said we had

been labelled traitors by some form ofhakazadfrom the other side of the world the city. The soldiers we

had helped were rebels. Two people served as messengers to the people of Ikanye. The messenger said hispartner had been hacked to death and brown soldiers on big metallic horses were coming; they were

coming with guns and fire to torment us. Everybody began to scream. The women ran around the huts,

gathering the children into the compound. The men moved in and out of the huts, gathering up what theycould for a very long journey.

I did not understand. Fires could burn, but what harm could a gun do? Grandpa owned a gun the only

one in the village. He had battered for it with a passing traveller. I had seen it before; many times. Weeks

before the harvest, he would take our hands and walk us by his side me and Tego. We would walk down

the pathways to his big farm. And there, we would drive away the birds. I liked to hold Grandpas gun andwalk through the rows of corn. I liked the heavy ripples it sent down my chest when I gripped it in my arms

and shot. It made me feel like a man. I would watch the noisy birds flee from that mighty clap of thunder

and I would feel so powerful. So often, when Grandpa left us alone to watch the farm, I would clutch the

gun tightly with my arms. And when I fired, I would stand and wear a proud smile, watching the frightened

birds scatter amongst the ears of corn. I would hear the shrill sound of a baby crying. And when I turned

and looked towards our thatched canopy, I would see Tego. She did not like the thunder that the guns

made. Grandpa said her ears were too soft for the raging sound.

When she cried, I would take her in my arms and hold her tight. Her skin was so soft; her hair, so warmand silky. Dont cry, Tego, I would tell her. Miimi is not here today. She has gone with the other women

to work in the chiefs barn. A tender pat on her little back would make Tego stop crying. She wasreasonable and very wise. I knew she would grow into a strong and beautiful girl and when she had been

blessed by the spirits with growth and purity, she would know the ways of our people, and she would

understand that the gun was a helper. She would no longer fear Grandpas gun.

bAn bird with orange feathers, whose cry is considered a bad omencSentence literally means: My people, there is danger at our doorstep.dgovernment

4


5/23

The brown soldiers came, early one morning, just before the planting season and I learnt to fear the

gun. Kundele Grandpa They were standing in our compound when the soldiers came in on rolling

metal logs.

I still remember Grandpas face moments before the soldiers came. The memory is so vivid I feel I can

touch the darkness on his face. We were standing in my mothers hut. A hole had been made in the side ofthe wall opposite the doorway. Through the dome-shaped crevice, we could see the other villagers heading

for the shrubby hill. Miimi and Tego were with them.Grandpa he caressed the back of my neck and took hold of Injukes hand: Take your cousin and join

the others The spirits will be with you. That was the first time I had heard Grandpa speak kindly to

Injuke. Grandpa took off his talisman and put it around Injukes neck. I also began to cry when I saw the

tears in Injukes eyes. There were no tears in Grandpas eyes, but I could see he was struggling to speak.

He looked into my eyes and then he looked at Injuke. Now, go! he ordered and walked off into the

compound.I heard the sound too. It was frightening. It was unlike any I had ever heard. The soldiers came

tottering on their huge iron logs. There were two groups, each one on an iron log. I saw Kundele step out

from the shade of Grandpas canopy. A soldier raised his gun That was the first time I saw a gun kill a

man. Kundele fell to the ground with red riddles in his belly, his lifeless eye staring aimlessly at my

mothers hut. I tried to step out through the doorway of the hut.

No, Soli! Injuke pulled me back. I was crying, struggling to get out of his grip.

There was a long hollow stick that protruded from the iron logs like a metallic branch. We saw it spit a

missile that blew the thatched roof off my mothers hut. The thundering sound bore into my ears like amaiden spear through the neck of an ikpotoe.Grandpa stood silently still in the compound. He was not

armed.Let us go, Soli, let us go, Injuke kept screaming.

I saw a missile hit Grandpa in the shoulder. No! I chorused with Injuke. We could only watch him

crumble into the dust like lumps of earth falling from an anthill. I tried to step away from the shelter of the

unroofed wall. Injuke yanked me closer. Another heavy missile crumbled a section of the round wall. I

looked through the dome-shaped crevice into the grassy plain that led to the shrubby hill. The villagers

were running. I managed to peep around the wall and a bullet nearly scraped my head. Grandpa saw my

face and he held out his hand: Soli, why are you still here? I felt my heart fill with pity for my

grandfather.Lets go! Injuke pulled me and dragged me across the red floor. The soldiers were firing at us. My

head bumped against something hard. I gazed and saw the hills and the blue sky ahead. My head felt light; I

felt like I was floating. A sudden force jerked my left arm. Injuke went running down the slope that leadsinto the grassy plain and I went tumbling after him. Like a ripe pawpaw falling in the dry season, I rolled

down the clods of bitter earth. I slipped unto the grass and for a moment, I felt the heat of the sun and the

sting of the grass leaves in my face. I turned my head and saw the flaming roof of my mothers hut. I heard

nothing else but the loud voices of my frightened people.

Injuke gave me his hand and lifted me unto my feet. We began to run through the grass blades. Wepanted. We itched. I could hear the roaring of the iron logs growing louder behind us. Injuke was paving

the way through the grass. Something must have slashed his arm, for he screamed and jerked his hand back.

He couldnt stop to take a look. But my eye caught his swaying arm and I saw the blood of my late uncle

dripping down Injukes palm.

My foot struck a heavy root. I stumbled and my right foot landed on something soft. It moved eerily.

My sole felt slimy. I was tired; I did not want to turn back. Injuke was parting the grass leaves with his

outstretched arms. Something seemed to be following us. A deep fear ensnared my heart and everything

inside my head. I could no longer resist the urge to look back. I turned and looked on in shock.Injuke, ikeenyiaf!

My cousin must have been blinded briefly by the sight of that huge venomous beast. A cluster of slimybaby snakes wriggled in the coil of its flickering tail. But we still stood there, watching it slowly approach

us, through the rustling grass leaves. We were scared; petrified; perhaps, too scared to move, till the cobra

lunged its head at us with a huge open mouth. Injuke grabbed my arm and pulled me. And we ran with our

hearts in our mouths. I could feel fatigue gnawing at my ribs. My sight wasnt so clear. My fear grew

eA type of deerfA snake

5


6/23

mightier than my strength and I fell into the grass Injuke Injuke, my cousin. He took hold of me by the

shoulder and placed his arm under my armpit.Mualiza, itegu.Itegu ! Cousin, we can make it. We can make

it.

I have heard stories of the spider, tales of the animal kingdom and legends of warfare. Grandpa told

them to all of us. We cherished the stories of war, the brave warriors and the tunes that accompanied thewords of the war songs. We would quickly eat our meals and scramble before the fire when the tales of

war were told. Our patience could hardly endure the length of the story. We only sought to know the end who would win. So often, one of us would interrupt with a scream: Grandpa, I want to be like that

warrior.

Imitate peace, Grandpa would say. War yields no benefit. The victor saves little but memories of

anger tainted by blood. The defeated seeks his name in the dust. No matter what we gain, it can never

outrank what is lost. This morning, I saw one boy when I hopped unto the metal horse. He was blinded in

one eye. I asked myself: What had been gained for the sacrifice of his sight?It feels lonely out here. I just know I would be very happy if Injuke were here

The eyes of my people were weary and full of fear. Ikanye knew no cheer; her heart was silent. Not

even the winged insects of the earth would rise to render their praises to the sun. We hurried like the souls

feet, to the call of destiny. We were moved by the fear of death. The soldiers didnt seem to be

approaching. I could no longer hear the rattling of the iron logs. All seemed dead. All seemed quiet. But we

could not return to our home, till the trouble in the city was over. The uneasiness in our breath, was the

teardrop of a grieving spirit that felt too frail to hold together a broken pride. The children of the Kind-

hearted One had been untimely ripped from their suck; bereaved of a tender love. Our hearts could not findrelief by the hillside. We got off the shrubs, unto the dusty path that led out of Ikanye. We did not know

where we were going.I held tightly unto Injukes arm. The right half of my heart was crumbling with fatigue. Images of the

big black snake tormented my tired mind; the soft shimmering of sweat on the mens naked backs,

reminded me of its soft scaly body. I would remember the cold sensation of the muscles in its warm body

and tiny worms would creep through my feet. I breathed in the scent of Injukes manly body. I listened to

the hissing of the hoes on the shoulders of the men. I gazed in awe at the sharpened tips of the slanted

spears. I watched the women carrying their luggage on their heads. I saw a young girl carrying a baby on

her back. I thought of Miimi and Tego. I hoped we would reach them soon They had done nothing to

deserve war. Our people were peaceful. They had shown kindness to the green soldiers, just like the godsshowed their kindness to us. The Kind-hearted One never rewarded generosity with evil. Why was this

happening to us? My young mind battled to make sense of it: the metallic missile that nearly drilled my

head; the thatch of Miimis roof, burning yards away from us; Kundeles untimely death. I could feel painraging through the joints in my head. My mind grew weary of its load of thoughts. I felt my senses, losing

touch with reality. My eyes slowly shut. It felt as if a sudden night had fallen

CHAPTER TWO

Soli, lafia!g

Injuke shook me. He held unto my arm. I blinked and stared into the sky. The dusk wascoming. I could hear many voices.

Meenah, Meena! he pointed into the distance.I saw Miimi sitting on a rock among the shrubs. In herarms was a calm little child my sister Tego.

Miimi, Miimi, I jumped up, screaming. She could not hear me. She was too far away. Miimi,

Miimi, I began to run. Injuke ran past me. Miimi, I yelled again. Some of the villagers turned to look at

us. They also sat beneath the shade of the trees, talking in little groups.

g Literally means, Wake uph Literally means, Look

6


7/23

Miimi, I yelled, trying to catch up to Injuke.

Soli, a boy called my name. I turned to see who was calling. It was Nokoye, my friend. He was

sitting with his brothers. He was waving at me I did not wave back. I turned and run harder. I wanted to

be first to get to Miimi. I wanted to beat Injuke.

The horizon roared with a grumbling thunder. The shrubs on the other side of the path shudderedbefore a familiar rattle. There was dust rising from behind the shrubs. I heard female voices ahead, begin to

screech. I saw Injuke turning back. People were scrambling back unto their feet. Everyone was leaving hisluggage behind. I was too dazed to see through the scattering people.

Soli! Injuke yelled, grabbed my arm and yanked me forward. I looked to the left and saw the roaring

iron logs treading on the crumbling plants. I felt my heart raging within my chest. I was jabbed in the

temple by a swinging arm. A womans scream sliced through my ear drum. And I heard loud terrible

gunshots. The stale air was filled the rattling of heavy metal and deep echoes of shrill screaming that made

my throat itch. I saw the fear in Injukes eyes when he turned to look back. The men were scattering behindus. Their spears couldnt do much. We were being chased by five iron logs.

I saw my mother. She was running ahead of us. I called out to her. I dont think she heard my first call.

Miimi, I yelled harder the second time. This time, she turned. I saw the scratch on her temple. She saw

my face. And she turned away She did not stretch out her arm. She did not call my name. I saw the back

of her hand sheltering the crown of Tegos head. She turned around again. Run faster, she said. Run

faster.

My lungs filled with the fetid air. I stretched my hand out to my mother. She wasnt looking. I

stumbled and went diving into the dust. I felt a vicious grip pull up my being by the arm. It was Injuke. Icould feel a painful sting in my right shoulder blade; I had dislocated a bone. Injuke dragged my right arm

and I cried in pain. I couldnt go on anymore. I saw a brawny young man with a mean look on his face flinga spear at an iron log. Out came a loud cry. A brown soldier fell from the mammoth metal

My cousin glanced at my tearful eyes. He lifted me unto his back and carried me along. I could not see

my mother anymore. I could hear bitter voices yelling behind us. My breast quivered with the echo of

Injukes breathing. We were approaching the heart of the forest. There was a big woman running by our

side. She was calling on the names of the gods. I could hear her moaning. When I turned, I saw her right

hand covering one eye. There was blood trickling down her temple. A trembling hand pulled on my

loincloth. I turned and saw my friend Nokoye dragging himself across the cold carpet of dead leaves. Blood

dripped off the red flesh drooling from his mouth. Fear and pain glistened in his eyes. There was a shinypellet lying on his tongue. Nokoye was dying I could hear silent moans; women and big men sobbing.

The heat of the battle was behind us. I could hear the spears clamouring against the iron logs. My eardrums

shrunk in a flood of morbid thuds that blended with the rustling of dried leaves beneath our feet I feltsomething thaw within me, when Nokoye let go off my cloth. I stared at the blurry forest ahead. My eyelids

were swamped with bitter tears. I could not take another look at him.

We sat to rest in a clearing in the forest, high up on a bare white rock. The soldiers couldnt have

followed us that far. We were alone, deep in the forest. I sat still with tears clouding my eyes, staring up at

the clear patch of evening sky in the heart of a deep green canopy. Injuke was staring at my woundedshoulder. He wasnt saying anything. He just sat, tapping the white rock with his bare knuckle. The

growing darkness around us was making me frightened. I missed the light of the forge; the aroma of the

evenings cooking; the laughter of my friends. Medile; Mate; Nokoye; Kundele; they were all gone. The

dispersed huts; the voices of the women and children; the irksome cries of the wandering toddlers; the

crackling of the weavers palm fronds; they all seemed like a withered dream.

I took my eyes off the sky and stared down at Injuke. He was running his index finger along thin green

patterns on the surface of the rock. He looked up at me and I looked away. I did not want him to see me

crying.I am sorry I broke your shoulder, he said, raising his head. I could not believe he was talking to me. I

did not turn my face to look at him. But I could see him sitting idle, staring up, deep into my eyes. He waswaiting to hear what I would say. I turned further away, because I did not want to speak. His eyes moved

and roamed the back of my head. I pretended to stare far into the foggy distance. I sensed him moving an

arm and silently dropping his head. As the evening grew darker, the clouds came together. They formed a

fluffy crescent that sailed slowly across the sky. I turned and moved closer to Injuke. I sat by his side, with

my eyes looking in his south. He was wandering in another world, too lost in his thoughts to be aware of

me. I hiccupped and stole a quick glance at his profile. I felt lonely and afraid I was sitting with a

7


8/23

stranger, not my cousin. That was not the Injuke I knew; the bully; the lying scoundrel who found so much

pleasure in irritating us. In the evenings, he would pester me and my friends for our food. And when we

caught a hare in our snares, he would snatch it and run away. Grandpa didnt like him because he was lazy.

He seldom took him along to the farm. Miimi did not like to engage him in her affairs. Whenever she sat by

her weaving and Injuke came near, she would eye him, blink profusely and gently pull her stool away. Itwas only with the men at the forge that he found a seldom welcome. But even they did not entertain him

much, because he talked too much. Sometimes, they would call him in and tease him about his features; allof them, except Kundele. But he sat by the fire, listening to their cruel remarks. He never protested. I think

he liked the attention, because, coming to think of it, that was the only time he ever got any

I heard a noise, of something crawling at the foot of the rock. I turned to look at Injuke. But he had

fallen asleep, with his head resting on his clasped hands. I became frightened of the night in which I then

sat alone. So I also stretched myself out on the rock and placed the back of my hand beneath my head. It

was the first time I had gone to sleep at night, out in the open.The next morning, I awoke with the dew on my skin. The suns heat was teasing the corner of my eye.

The white rock suddenly felt very cold. I saw Injuke sitting before a fire in a neat space cleared up in the

clearing. His fingers flickered at his side. He tenderly licked his index finger and grabbed a stick to poke

something in the fire. I climbed off the rock and went to stand behind him. The aroma of roasted squirrel

was drifting through the air. I moved closer to take a better look. Injuke turned and he saw me. Youre

up, he said, looking up at me with a smile. He trailed the direction of my eyes and noticed I was staring at

the meat on the fire.

I caught it just this morning, he said proudly. He noticed me glance into his eye with a look ofindifference. He was not moved. It was climbing up the rock, he continued. I was awoken by the

shuffling of its feet. It was roaming close to head. It bit me; see? He showed me a gaping red wound at theside of his thumb. It was watering. I slowly looked away from it, aghast.

See? I bashed its head against the side of the rock. I hit it again and broke its spine, my cousin

proudly finished. He took the meat off the dying fire and knocked it against the palm of his hand to shake

off the ash. I looked at the meat. It was small. Squirrel meat always was. I saw Injuke raise his head to stare

at me. Come and sit down, he politely said. I had never felt so warm inside. Slowly I went and sat facing

him, taking care not to bruise my injured arm. But I still did not understand

I watched Injuke do something he had never done. He broke the meat in two and offered me the bigger

half. Take it, he said, holding it out to me. I glanced at his face and slowly took. Injuke took his half andbegan eating it merrily. It was only when I held the meat close to my mouth that I realized how hungry I

was. I had not eaten anything since the time we left the village. I did not enjoy my share of the meat, partly

because there was no salt. I was confused. Something about Injuke was not the same. I didnt knowwhether it was the effect of Grandpas talisman, but Injuke wasnt being himself and I felt very

uncomfortable. He sat, enjoying his meal like his normal self. But when he raised his head and eyed me, I

saw a soft tender gleam I had never seen in his eyes.

He reached into his belt and to my surprise, pulled out two large potatoes. They had been cooked;

roasted over a low fire. He held them out in his hands and sat staring at me. I looked up into his eyes andthen down at his still hands. I frowned and looked into his eyes again. They were becoming watery, fading

behind a cloud of tears.

You remember three days ago, when I came back late from the forest and Grandpa said he would give

me no supper? he asked. My lips parted silently. I nodded, trying to avoid his eyes. I wondered what he

was getting at. I could hear hisses in his quivering breath. He staring up into my face, and then he

continued: I went back into the bush hoping to get some food. I found these. There were five of them. One

had gone bad. I was very hungry and I planned on devouring all four. I ate two, then decided to keep these

two, so that if I was alive today, I would eat them Here.He handed me one of the tubers and as he sat quietly peeling his, I saw a lone tear fall from his eye. As

I placed the tuber in my mouth and sank my teeth into it, it brushed against the tip of my tongue. And Irealized it did not have the usual sweet taste that would wipe out the taste of ash from the back of my warm

tongue. I took the morsel between my teeth and when my jaws embraced, I felt my mouth go murky with

the fumes of a very bitter sorrow. I looked at Injuke. He had dried his eyes. He sat with his head bowed,

silently eating his roasted root. I could not hold it back anymore. My face began to cringe and I felt my

tears squirting out of my eyes. The sky between the patch of leaves, the gloomy places high up in the

branches and the vast spaces between the gigantic trees did not seem enough to contain my sadness I was

8


9/23

feeling. Where were our people gone; far into the clear haze of invisibility, where the breezes blew the

chaff from the maize harvests. Where were the women and the children; wandering through an endless

marshland of perils and fear. Where were the young men; walking through the frightening lands of the dead

spirits. Where were the old men; out on the battlefield, amongst the crumpled leaves of the shrubs, with

deep red holes in their wrinkled chests. Why did we have to wander from a solace that was our own? Whywere we lost, when home was so near?

Theres a place where the hares drunk from silent little swamps

A place that bloomed with grass as sweet as honey lumps

They say it was a carpet at the feet of the gods

On which specks of golden dust fell in soft tiny clods

But the mild rains went away and never again came

The fair little shrubs, a dreadful thirst did maimUpon dry ailing stems the song birds nest did fall

For the taste of their fruits had scorched to bitter gall

Through stiff-edged crevices, the earth began to cry

Leaving the startled roots in loneliness to die

Unto a waning stalk, leaf and bud clung for breath

The only home theyd ever known burnt like a heated hearth

Till only chaff remained to mourn the withered lot

And watch the fragrance of their bloom disappear in their rot:

Before we left our camp that morning, I took a long stare at the sun rays seeping through the densethicket behind us. I couldnt cry anymore, but I was still sad. I knew every little step I took forward would

mark the furthest distance I had ever walked from Ikanye. And there was no telling if I would ever go back

there again. We couldnt stay; the danger of the brown soldiers was still there. We had to go and leave

Grandpa behind us and Kundele too. I didnt recall the last I had seen of Miimi and Tego. I struggled to

recall Miimis face as I had seen it the day before; it had been very pale and full of fear. My heart skipped a

beat; I hoped with all my heart that she was still alive. In my mind, I said a silent prayer, hoping that the

Kind-hearted One would keep her and my little sister.

As Injuke stood behind me, putting out the little fire, I felt my soul thrown back in a surge of fear as Irecalled my mothers words: Run faster. Run faster. Before we turned to leave the rock, I looked into

Injukes eyes. And I remembered something that had happened a long time ago: We were much younger

then. Injuke was eleven years old and I was about seven. Grandpa was busy making lunch in the compoundand Injuke was helping with the peeling of the yams. I had managed to sneak up into the forge. I wanted a

lighter to set fire to a pile of hay I had placed on a lizard I had just killed. I looked at the heavy tools

implements that stood and hang on the mud walls of the forge. I walked up to a nearby corner and took

hold of Grandpas cutlass. The object must have weighed much more than my arm for it took me a

tremendous amount of effort to lift. I stood on planted little feet, holding the sharp metal high above mytrembling biceps. Injuke was the first to see me.

Soli, wole te lekitai?! Injuke dropped the yam and rushed to the forge. He grabbed my hand and

snatched the cutlass from me. The sudden impact of his pull made my small heart leap in fright. I was very

mad at him.

Give me back my cutlass! I screamed at him.

You will hurt yourself! Injuke moved it away from me. I grabbed Injukes loincloth and tried to

reach the tool.

Soli, you will hurt yourself, Grandpa called out from the compound.I still tried to reach it and Injuke yanked me away. Ah? he exclaimed with impatience. I stood there

staring at him with the bitter taste of defeat in my mouth. My heart was beating wild with anger and aboiling anger fuming through my breath.

That is why both your parents are dead and everybody thinks you are so ugly! I yelled at him. Injuke

Those were the words to a song I often heard Grandpa sing. That morning, I sang that song. The gorges

heard it. The tree trunks heard it. I could not see them, but I could hear the crawling animals in the forest

shuffling their paws closer to our clearing; they wanted to hear it too. The elders said if you were in a forest

i Fragment meaning, What do you think you are doing?

9


10/23

and you made too much noise, the treetops could be violently shaken. They would make noise and disturb

the peace of the spirits; and the spirits would rise and descend. I wanted to disturb the spirits. I wanted them

to rise and descend. I wanted them to come and help uslet go off the cutlass and flung me across the

compound.

Heeej! Grandpa dropped his ladle and sprang up. I landed against the hard ground with a heavy thud.That day, Injuke got a bad hiding from Miimi and Grandpa. He was given no food for the rest of the day. I

began feeling guilty; I actually felt sorry for him. Kundele came to our place later that day and found mestanding by the forge, watching Injuke do the dishes in the compound. I showed him the knee I had bruised

from the fall and told him a biased version of what had happened. Kundele hissed and eyed me sneeringly.

This is what he said: Injukes parents died and Grandpa gave him a place to stay. He is also Grandpas

child; just like you. He is reasonable; perhaps, more so than you are. He cannot just hate you. If you would

allow him to, you would see just how much he really likes you.

In my infant wisdom I disagreed with those words; how true they sounded then. I watched Injukeslowly take the lead with a reluctant step. I felt my heart suddenly fill with an enormous love for him that

had always been there. Yes, it had always been there, but I had covered it, in a bid to win the affection of

Grandpa. My heart felt a deep sorrow for all the times I wronged him, consciously set him up and destroyed

his bird traps. The truth was so much easier to admit then: My cousin was not a bad person, he was very

often misunderstood. I felt like walking to him, hugging him and telling him that he was my brother; that I

loved him.

I caught his moving eyes. I tried to speak, but swallowed hard. Then my lips parted. I called him and he

turned, astounded. He gazed into my eyes. I stared at him in silence, not knowing how to begin. It feltuncomfortable. I felt feverish; my breath was beginning to soar. I looked into my cousins eyes; he was

worried. I was becoming fidgety each time I tried to speak my throat wouldnt give way. I stood in tinybeams of the warm sunlight, crippled by fear. It felt as if the very heat of the morning sun was judging me.

And Injuke stood before me, just looking; gazing; staring, confused. A song bird chirped. Then, I saw my

cousins face slowly begin to glow. I tried hard to open my mouth, to speak, but Injuke smiled only harder.

Suddenly, I felt my cheeks begin to curl up in a smile; a faint smile; a shy smile. And Injuke began to

giggle. I felt a soft sweet warmth, bathe the bones and the insides of my chest. I felt a great relief that could

have made the earth ascend and bring me closer to the moving skies. My cousin understood me. Injuke

understood me. And I stood before him, a happy child, while the sight of our warm faces made us giggle.

We heard our voices hasten into the treetops. We felt it ascend the sky and bring more happiness down tous.

For a moment, it felt like nothing to be thirsty and homeless. It felt like nothing to be trapped in the

middle of a heated war. We watched the smiles on each others face slowly become faint. I stood in silence,looking at my cousin. I saw the deep white scar of a profound pain, glistening from the glowing depth of

his eye and I felt a great pity for him.

Is your arm feeling any better? he asked.

Much better, I answered with a smile. I held out my arm to Injuke and slowly approached him. He

took a few steps towards me and gently took my arm in his. Together, we made the first steps of a newjourney. We did not know where we were going. But we could hold each others arms for comfort and be

bonded in love and brotherhood. This same way, we would carry on for days to come.

CHAPTER THREE

For two days, we walked and met none of our people. For two days, our tongues boiled from a bitter thirst.On the third day, we came across a tall man lying in a creeping bush; he was dead. Two deep bloody

jUsed to express surprise

10


11/23

wounds grimaced in his back. He lay on his chest with his face staring to the side. I saw his parted eyelids;

the flakes of dust clinging to his eyelashes; the pale waters of his eyes were turning darker I cringed. I

felt my spirit draw back in shock; I knew the face of the corpse. Three nights before, it had haunted me

with a mask of anger and fear memories from the glade of the forest.

The man who lay dead had swung his spear at us, because we had tried to follow him. We had onlythought it wise not to wander away from our own people, like Grandpa had taught us.

Here now, even in the heated back of the metal horse, I clearly recall the panic in the mans eyes.Dont follow me! he had yelled at us. Not one Tsina will survive if we stay in a group!

I can never tell if he really meant to wound us with his spear; Injuke had to jump back and I was on

his back. Viciously, the earth had begun to pull me. I grabbed my cousins throat to keep me from falling

and I strained my lame shoulder. I moaned. I groaned. I felt a deep throbbing in my arm

We stood beside the silent corpse, our broken spirits grieving with sorrow and fear. That wasnt the

first dead body I had seen. The brown soldiers were still near; my heart filled with so much fear that mademe want to envy the dead. My eyes moved over the dead mans body and moved up to meet Injukes eyes.

My soul was crippled by deep helplessness. It suddenly seemed that no matter how hard we ran, we could

never choose to live. I felt my breath grow louder and my chest, feeling weak. I could feel fear cutting

through my intestines

Injuke pointed at something beside the dead mans arm. I bowed my head to take a look and my eyes

widened with hope. I stared at Injukes smiling face, wondering if it could be true. I walked over and

picked it up. It was a heavy water gourd. The soil beneath its edge was soft with moist. Most of its water

had been spilled. I walked around the corpse with the gourd in my chest. I gently gave it to Injuke. He tiltedit with one arm and poured a little water into his palm. The liquid looked clean. With my hope in his eyes,

he dipped his tongue slowly into his palm. And he nodded.What we each drank of the little water made our tongues itch with more desire. We had enough

strength to walk another mile, if we would meet no danger ahead. Injuke ripped a stem from the creeping

plant and chewed it into a string. He tied it around the neck of the gourd and hung the gourd around my

neck. Meenak, Injuke, I held his arm as we turned to leave.

In the light of the noon, something glistened in the grass. It made me think of the glade of the forest. I

thought of Nokoye, my late friend. I heard frightened women and children screaming in my memory; I

heard the roaring of the iron logs. I saw the quick arms of the brown soldiers in my mind, holding unto their

big black guns, and I thought of Grandpas gun. I stared at the two wounds in the back of the corpse thatlay before us. Guns could kill. They had always been able to. That explained why we sometimes found

dead birds in Grandpas farm during the harvest. They always had dried blood on their feathers and metal

pellets buried in their skin.In my minds eye, I saw an image of Grandpas face, as he lay in the compound, crawling on his back,

before the thundering iron logs that were approaching my mothers hut. He had known it all along. Grandpa

had known it that guns could kill. I remember how cross he once became, when one of his young

apprentices pointed at Injuke with the barrel of his gun. Grandpa had yelled and snatched his gun from the

apprentice. He smacked the confused poor boy with the wooden butt. Bikaladuyal! he yelled. Dont youknow it can make the boy deaf? Grandpa was very wise. He knew his gun was dangerous. But he did not

keep it far away from us. He made us believe it was quite safe. He knew that guns could kill; and he kept

that truth away from us. He knew I did not like Injuke. He knew some of his apprentices despised

Kundele He did not wish us to use it on ourselves

There was a shimmer nesting in the creeping shoots. We both stood beside the corpse, staring at it. I

turned my head and looked at Injuke. We may need it, I said, motioning him with my head. Injuke slowly

walked to the corpses other side. Then he stood there, just staring at me. The dead man had died with his

spear lying by his side.Ibum, I said to Injuke. Ibu. Injuke looked down at the spear. He looked down at the corpse. Then

he bent slowly and lifted the spear. He held it out in his right hand and stood there with a faint smile on hisface, waiting to hear what I would say. Injuke did look like a warrior, but he didnt know how to fight.

Before we left, we searched the greenery around, for a wiloba; a common little shrub with pale green

leaves. We found one beneath the shade of a small palm tree. We plucked one of its pinnate leaves and put

kLiterally means, LooklLiterally means, Idiotm Literally means, Take it.

11


12/23

it in the hand of the dead man. He would need its protection against all evil, on his way into the spirit

world. We said a little prayer for the spirit of the dead man. I smelt a horrible fume rise from his body,

while we stood by his side with our palms held out before us

Injuke paved the way ahead with his spear. We had to leave the corpse, to resume our journey. The

blade of the spear pointed ahead of us. I followed silently, holding unto the gourd around my neck. Somedistance away from the territory of the creeping plant, we stopped to take one last look at the face of the

dead man. We stood in silence, feeling sad in our hearts, knowing that in a way known only to us, the deathof that man had saved us. We turned again and walked and never looked back.

That same afternoon, we came upon a dusty path that ran through the gloomy forest. It was a path

made by the elephants. The dung in the dust still looked fresh in the inside the path had been used not

long ago. From where we stood, we heard an endless hissing, like that of a falling tree driving its branches

through the leaves of the forest. But it could have been the sound of rain approaching from a distant plain

or that of an elephant pulling up a disruptive tree. A light breeze blew over us and it seemed to lift ourspirits. It seemed the longer we stood there, the clearer the sound that filled our ears became. Injuke stared

at my face with a smile. But we still couldnt move; we found it hard to believe that the high-pitched roar

coming from the other side of the path was the sound of water.

We paved our way through the bushes on the lone paths other side. We could not believe what we

were staring down at. A tiny haven of loft green hills and cool smiling waters. My eye caught something

that made me point way into the distance ahead. Injuke,Meenan!

Elephants! Three of them. A large mother and two calves! They stood lazily, drinking from the little

waterfall in the green valley below. The air was fresh with the smell of comfort. What an uplifting sight itwas to rest our eyes on after all the gore that wed seen. The horizon blazed above the waterfall. Nodding

branches bowed before the hasty water that slid off the velvety rock. In the pool at the graceful foot of thefall, one of the calves lay rolling in the swaying waters. The other stood calmly on the land, flapping its

trunk beside its mother. Thats Miimi and Tego, I thought to myself. The straying calf, kicking up the

mud from the bottom of the murky waters, was me We were charmed by the delicate golden beauty that

the sun spilled on the lush vegetation around the waterfall.

I doubt I can find my way back to that fair place. Perhaps, that day, we strayed into a little land that

belonged to the gods. The comfort of the soothing sight eased our thirst. Injukes spear lay idly by his side.

I ran my hands around the hard smooth surface of the gourd around my neck. The lazing elephants were

taking their time. We sat patiently on the higher ground, waiting for them to wane out of sight, before wecould safely descend to get a drink.

It was way past the brink of dusk when the last of the calves disappeared after its mother, through a

narrow gorge in the crescent wall of the cliff. Injuke sat up and grabbed his spear. We crawled behind abush and watched them take the long curve that led into the tall trees on the north eastern side of the

waterfall. We waited in utter silence, to hear the rustling of the grass leaves in the dusty path way behind

us. Soon enough we did hear a branch rip and we carefully tip-toed and hurried to the slope that descended

into the valley below. The sound of the breeze was like the music of a flute. The roaring of the waterfall

was like a mothers call. With restless hasty feet, we approached the foot of the waterfall.We were giggling. Injuke dropped his spear and ran past me. I gathered up speed and tried to out run

him. He was too fast for me. Injuke reached the waterfall first and he dived in, shouting: No! Ive never

seen so much water! Ive never seen so much water! I came running after him, laughing so hard the

elephants must have heard me. Indeed, when last did we come across so much water? The fall was

swaying before me like the body of a dancer. My feet leapt of the sand. My arms went soaring through

the skies. I took in a few more gulps of the cool gloomy air and then everything became waterwater

water I saw a curled dark leaf, swaying beside an embedded rock. I bent my body into a coil and the

gloomy world went spinning around me. I saw Injuke kicking in the water like a fishI swam to the side,and then towards my cousin, in a little curve. My head shot up through the water. Suddenly I could hear the

waterfall raging wildly. Injukes head suddenly appeared.Cousin, you are thirsty, arent you? he shouted. Now lets see how much water you can drink!

Injukes hands went disappearing under the water and a large splash came tumbling unto my face. My eyes

were closed when I plunged my hands deep into the waves and hurled a big surge at Injukes face. At least

it seemed big to me. Admittedly, they were not as large as Injukes. But my waves managed to hold him

back for a while. We kept at it, splashing at each other with our eyes closed till Injukes waves became

n Literally means Look

12


13/23

too violent and I had to swim away and duck under the waterHa ha ha! I couldnt look at Injukes face

but through the roaring of the waterfall, I heard his victory laughter.

I saw Injukes feet kicking in an unchanging position. I glided beneath the waves like a fish; till I felt

sure I was close enough. Then just when my cousin least expected, up popped my head. I splashed him

with a flying surf that made him lose his balance. His head disappeared in the waves beneath my heartylaughter. I felt so pleased with myself. A mans hand gripped my leg under the water and I wriggled out of

its grip. I began to swim away from Injuke. I turned through the waters to look behind me and I saw mycousin chasing after me. We played like two little fishes that had no knowledge of predators and prey. I had

never had so much fun before

We slept under the stars that night, with no branches above our heads, to hide the nights little candles.

The moonlight slept with us on the pool beneath the waterfall. I had dreams of staying there forever,

away from everything I feared, away from everything I so much hated. But we could not stay. That place

belonged to the hills and noisy waters. The ground around the pool was the treasure of the elephants. Thatplace was the home of the cliffs; not ours. We came out of the pool when we got tired of the water. Injuke

crawled unto the sands first. And I came walking through the water, running my fingers through the

calming waves. Injuke sat back and edged away from the pool, with his eyes staring to his side. For a

moment, he sat staring at the water, and then suddenly turned his head again to his side. I watched his eyes

dilate there was something we first hadnt taken note of; and Injuke had then. I did not like the look on

his face.

Ikelezeo, Injuke? I asked. He did not respond. He just sat still, moving his hand over a spot and

edging away from it. His eyes were fixed on the sand. I wondered what he was staring at. Nearer to him Icame walking, to look for myself. It was a fear I had not expected My cousin raised his head to me in

surpriseIt sank deep into the grains of sand. It was a print we had seen before; not of an animals paw or of a

mans sole. It was as shallow as a puddle, carved out by the heavy sole of a soldiers footwear; most

probably that of a brown soldier. The very sands, in which we sat, had been trodden by a walking gun.

Even the graceful cliffs, the rolling hills and the quiet sands were not free of the evil of the war. We would

have left that very night, had it not been for the growing darkness.

We rose in the youth of the following dawn and saw the sticky blur in our sleepy eyes thaw before the

dark horizon. The edge of the sky was a faint purple. I staggered unto my feet and walked towards the

swaying pool. The morning could not be silent; not before the raging of the waterfall.I always heard the cooing of the night birds whenever we slept in the forest, but then, I couldnt hear it

anymore. I walked closer to the water and squatted to fill our little gourd. Injuke sat behind me, wiping off

the dust on the blade of his spear We did not know when the elephants would come back. We did notknow how many brown soldiers there were, lurking in the plateau above the cliff. How far would we go

from here, when we didnt even know where we were going? I hang the string of the gourd around my

neck. My heart felt heavy; there was no food out there, but I was sad to have to leave that little haven. We

lived not in a time of peace, when we could cherish the simple things were so dear to us: like the touch and

sound of water; the early birds rhapsody and late afternoon breezes filtering through the ears of corn.We turned to leave; in the calm of the nippy air under which we had slept. We took a sad stare at the

silent pools glittering water, and the grace of the waterfall. We slowly approached the moonlit slope, down

which we had come. That very moment, I knew that was a place to which I wished to return; that charming

little place that had found a way to keep its beauty in a time of war. I knew I would return to her, when the

green and brown soldiers walked our lands no more; someday, when I was grown enough and not so full of

fear. When our days could pass in peace and our spirits could be free again. When I didnt have to wonder

where Miimi or Tego was and we could all go to farm and happily come home with the harvest.

CHAPTER FOUR

o Meaning, What is it?

13


14/23

We were treading on soft and crispy shrubs, with the ground, wet and cold beneath our feet. The forest

came to light in the gleam of the sun and we saw a hill in the thicket ahead of us. We reached it and

climbed it, hoping to get some much needed rest. We had some oranges in our hands in bags made ofwoven palm leaves. We came across them in a bush that stood beside a little clearing.

In the broad beam of the sun, we stood upon the hill, staring at the surrounding world of broadleavesand different shades of green. I heard the chirping of the distant birds, wriggling through the heavy mist

above the canopy. I heard soft little whispers hurrying through the murmuring winds like little messages in

a language which men could never understand.

What kind of spirits protected those forests? What kind of gods ruled those places? Did they live in the

mist, or in the treetops and stones? Who were common men, to tread on their immense lands? Did the gods

of those places have the patience of the Kind-hearted One? Was their fury worse than the war? I hopedwe had not offended them. What if their anger came down upon us and made us both crumble to dust? I felt

the gale of a silent fear whisk up my soul. I turned to look at Injuke, holding unto the pendant of my

talisman. Injuke did not seem to sense my fear. He looked down at me with curiosity in his eyes. I gazed at

the line of cowries in the talisman around his neck. I saw him slowly moving behind me and my eyes

followed his trail. He drew nearer and rested his shoulder on the back of my neck. I felt the life in his

breath as his head came over my other shoulder. He was staring attentively at something in the air; while he

raised his hand to point into the distance. My eyes followed the path of his finger across the endless

greenery. Far off in the endless haze, where distance made the tall giants look like tiny leaflets, I could seethe meandering trail of a long dusty path. It looked like a straying piece of thread, spread across the broad

green carpet that the treetops made.Should we go there? I asked Injuke, as he placed a portion of his peeled orange in my palm.

Mmmm, he groaned, nodding; his mouth stuffed with segments of orange that oozed watery cells. He

longed for the clearing; the barrenness of the dry earth. And so did I. We had had enough of fear. We were

tired of being afraid almost all the time. I was tired of the trees that seemed to give so much company, but

never talked. I was tired of the moisture in the forest mud; the scratches that got our chests and arms

aching; the itches and the dew that bathed us all over and the cloud of broad leafy canopies that promised

no rain.

Most of our strength had returned by that afternoon. We got our luggage together and set out for thebottom of the hill. We descended with a new strength and a revived will to live. Not anymore would we

give in to the fangs of fatigue. For once, we knew where we were going to the dusty path.

It was a three-day journey through the damp thicket, the moist dark soil and the changing winds. Thebranches flung their dew into our mouths and the grass blades made our faces itch. The slime on dark

rotting twigs clung to our soles. We crept upon an abandoned maize farm. A ruined shelter of wood stood

in one corner. The plants still stood and they had been doing so for over a year; the brownness of their

leaves said so. Almost none of them bore a cob.

We called out loudly, hoping to hear someone calling back; hoping to find people and perhaps, refuge.There was no one. On the afternoon of the third day, only a mile separated us we and the dusty path.

It was broader and smoother than any path I had ever seen. Tiny gravels lay on it in large numbers, like

bad seeds left in the compound for birds. Not a shrub could be found in its length or breath. The bushes

rustled by the sides of the path. A butterfly would flutter out once in a long while, across the great path and

into the grasses on the other side. My cousin would smile faintly and watch them disappear within the

grasses through which we had come. In the distance we could hear a faint murmur something that

sounded like the noise of human voices. But there was no sign of men anywhere near us. The path just

glided out of a curve behind us, and crept past our feet as far as our eyes could see and beyondI saw Injuke sink his bare knee into the path. He ran his hand over something in the dust. I felt my

heart leap with a familiar fear. I hoped my cousin hadnt seen another footprint. It couldnt be; becauseInjuke moved along a section of the path, tracing a strange length with the tip of his finger, as if he was

after a bush rat.

He finally stopped, his face clouded with a look of defeat. I walked over to see what it was. I bent next

to my cousin. The sight that met my eyes shot a sharp-pointed fear through the wall of my heart. I did not

know what I was staring at. It was a never ending pattern made by a moving something I did not know.

Injuke stared down at it and then gazed into my face and shook his head.

14


15/23

Ever since my people came upon the wounded green soldiers, I had come across many strange-looking

objects things that had never existed in my world. And none of them had been pleasant. I had come

across weird-looking footwear that climbed as far up as the knees. I had come across heavy outfits made of

cloth that made ones body blend in with the vegetation, like the skin of a chameleon. I had seen vicious

guns mounted on iron logs as tall as men. I felt a great confusion wriggle through the membranes beneaththe bones of my skull. Something told me I knew those marks; that I had seen them before; but where?

When evening came, we slept under the shade of a guava tree. It was a lone tree standing on a clearedpiece of land. Strong breezes blew over us the whole night. The winds were changing. The rains were

coming. And the land upon which we slept lay bare beside the dusty path, ready to be planted on. At the

creak of dawn, the winds opened my eyes and I stared at the world around me. My mind got lost in the

mystery of thought. What sort of strange people possessed these lands, that they would harvest their maize

and leave the remains to stand, for months on end; that they would prepare their lands for the rainy season

and leave them bare? I thought of our village; it was very far away from us then. Every year, the flowersbloomed in the forests; the fields came to life with long beautiful rows of groundnuts and maize. The

hillsides buzzed with bees and the gliding canopies became greener. I couldnt imagine how the fields and

hillsides would appear then; the fields had been prepared, but no crops would be planted. There would be

broken grass blades and withered leaves in the trodden plains. The green hillside that stands behind my

mothers hut, will be laden with twigs and broken shrubs. The lands in my village would look just like the

lands around the dusty path, all because of the war. A thought of truth made my spirit flee from me. It sent

my blood raging through the side of my head. The war was like a bushfire. And the dusty path was not free

from it. It was just like Grandpa used to tell us in those tales of war:When arrows come, flying above your head and the spears go clattering, you hear the moans of dying

men and you see warm blood crawling down their boiling flesh. When you look around you for shelter, youfind none. You cry, hoping for somebody to hold, but only the hot air lies near. If fires do not burn, you lift

your head and look at your house. You see the inviting darkness that hangs in the doorway; it smiles and

calls your name. But you do not mind it, for you cannot reach it. In vain you seek friends and family and

end up fleeing alone If an arrow strikes you, you stumble. When a sword hooks you, you crumble. If you

are stabbed by a spear, you fall. But you may be of the chosen few who live to tell of their loved ones

deaths. In peace you may cross into an unknown land, which never promises refuge, but only silence from

the roar of battle. Only a fool mistakes this to be the end of his perils. For till the war is over, danger is

always near, waiting with undying patience, till it is the perfect hour to strike, like lightening that prowls onthrough the heavy storm; or the scorpions impregnated fang, waiting to squirt its poison

In the grieving eye of my mind, I saw excited specks of dust rising from the straight path of a hurrying

wind. Those markings we had seen in the dust I remembered what they were then. They were not marksleft by a passing spirit wind, as Injuke had said. They were tracks made by a moving iron log! That very

dawn I woke Injuke. I told him that we should leave; that we couldnt stay. We had to crawl back into the

shelter of the forest.

Its been ten nights since Grandpa put this talisman around my neck and left us alone in your mothers

hut, Injuke said to me. You never see it in my eyes but ever since that day, I have been a slave to aburdening fear. My head thumps with a raging pain many times a night. I have nightmares of blazing guns

and a crawling viper. My fear is that someday, those mounted guns will rattle only a stones throw away

and our strengths will do little but fail us. I saw the fear on my cousins face; the tears that budded in his

eyes, in the light of the dawn.

The man, Soli, you remember the man; the one who owned my spear? he continued. Where are

the rest of our people; the ones like us; the ones who survived? We cannot go back into the forest. Now that

we are out of the dense, we cannot trust it anymore. I could not open my lips to speak. My cousins words

had made me numb with fear. I blinked and looked into his eyes. I saw his faint smile in the thawingdarkness. His eyes gleamed with hope. He was happy that I understood him. His smile grew wider across

his parted lips to reveal neat, even teeth. I stared deep into his pupils and found something much tendererthan a babys skin. His eyes shimmered with the warmth of truth. Cousin, Im not much afraid of death,

he said. I fear losing you more.

I watched in silence as shivering tiny drops of sorrow fell from the swamps in his eyes. I felt the walls

of my heart dissolve in the rising tide of love that always swayed within my chest for my cousin. I touched

him. I held him and sheltered his head in my breast. My tears went tumbling down my cheeks. The danger

of the war felt so near. Soon, the iron logs might come from behind us and leave us with nowhere to turn.

15


16/23

The guns might scream and the air might rattle. Helpless we might stand while our bodies were shaken.

Our breath might cease and we might die. I held my cousin tightly, closer to me. I was not alone. My heart

felt warm at the sensation of his temple. I feared to lose him too.

CHAPTER FIVE

That morning, we tried to flee into the less dense forest on the other side of the dusty path. We made it

through the heavy roots and the tall grass leaves. We stood in awe and marvelled at the sight of crisp curly

leaves and endless curvy stems ofanawo; the tree of the Kind-hearted One. Their flowers called us. Their

branches welcomed us. But we had to turn back. For we heard a gunshot, some distance ahead of us.

The grass leaves bruised our faces. The twigs wounded our hasty feet. The might of our fear rustled

through the dry sharp leaves. We tumbled and fell into the dusty path. Injuke yanked me up and we ran

along the length of the path, seldom taking a look back. We ran with raging hearts. We ran with starving

tongues. We ran beneath the sun, till our sweaty feet couldnt take us anymore. Then, like small branches inthe harmattan, our feeble legs withered to a slow stop. And we began to walk. My throat boiled with a

merciless thirst. We staggered on, with our whispering breath, offering thanks to the gods. I felt a numbingpain in my ribs and a straining discomfort in the corner of my right eye. I could see the frown of fatigue on

Injukes face. He staggered, gasping, with one arm on his waist, the other, faintly grasping unto his spear.

That day, strong winds blew dust into our weary eyes. For a while, rain clouds seemed to gather, and

briefly, for the duration of a dying mans last words, few showers fell on us, in thin tiny drops, no wider

than a needles eye. But the rain clouds left and the sun took dominion over the sky. We scorched. We

burned. We could feel the long fangs of the suns heat sucking out our sweat. But that was not all.

A sharp loud cry ripped through the flesh on our backs. We turned and saw a sweaty man in the

distance; one our own. He was running; with his eyes on the sky; running, with the haste of a leopard;running, like a hounded prey. Two other men came out of the bush ahead of him. One was running. The

other man was limping. There came the sound of a blazing gun. And the running one fell We could hear

the sounds of fear; the thumping of our sore feet against the gravelled path. There was sorrowful moaningbehind us. It came in shrill squirts of queer trembling gasps. My arm lay on Injukes arm. He had his arm

around my neck. We heard the loud cocking of a gun. But we did not look back. We trotted with a faster

pace, clinging unto a faint hope, that we would not die. The winds murmured like the breath of an evil

spirit. I felt a maiming sting in the bones under m armpit. My face bumped into my cousins arm. I felt the

string of our gourd coming off my neck. I tried to grab it, but I couldnt. Suddenly, I longed for the blaze ofthe gun. I wished I could stumble and part with my breath. A loud gun released its fire and our spirits

quaked within us. In my raging mind, I was confused and angry that I was still alive. I turned to face the

loud sounds echo The limping man had fallen.

I saw the face of the other man. It was scarred; not by wounds, but by fear. My heart felt an uncertain

fear at the glimpse of the strength and the desire in his swinging arms. Somewhere quite far away, the

brown soldier stood behind him, viciously taking aim. Echoes of a loud scream ran along the length of the

grass leaves close to us. The gun cocked, and cocked again it had run out of shot. The bushes ahead

flickered like flames of a bonfire. From behind the spot where the man in brown stood, we heard thethundering sound of an approaching iron log. There came the shrill cry of a voice I had heard before. It was

so full of tears and bitterness and it made me turn. I saw a little girl spring from the grass leaves behind therunning man. She took a nervous glance to her side and fled from the brown soldier.

Liaku! Liaku! I yelled her name. She was my friend. She was our neighbour. She was my love

The merciless soldier slung his gun across his back. I saw his broad hasty feet creeping up behind her. She

was running like a lioness after its wounded cub, but the soldier was gaining on her. I felt something

thawing within me and it felt like it was soon going to crumble. Light groans rose from the lips of the

16


17/23

fleeing man. I could now see the whole trunk of the advancing iron log. Gunshots filled the fumes of dust

that ascended the muted air

I saw him grab her and drag her body off the shaking earth. My cousin grabbed me, but I shook off his

arm and stopped. I stood, but I do not know for how long. I watched her kicking and screaming in the claws

of the brawny soldier. Her wrists were trapped in his firm cold grip, like the kicking forelegs of a dyingdeer. She tried to bite him, but he yanked her face away. He was taking her to the iron log. Two brown

soldiers sat on the metallic trunk. One was staring at her. The other was pointing his gun at the fleeing man.I heard the anger in the voice of the soldier who held her. He twisted her hand and wrenched something

from her palm. I choked on fright; Injuke yanked and dragged me across the gravels. I saw the brawny

soldier hold my Liaku out towards the one seated on the iron log. There was something in the hand of the

seated brown soldier. He lifted it and pointed it at her. Then he fired four times into her chest.

I saw the way her body quivered. I felt her pain in my chest. I roared in sorrow and struggled off my

cousins arm. He tried to hold on and tripped over my body. I felt the shade of his chest on my face as hisoutstretched palms went bumping into the dust. Soli, do you want us to die? Soli, do you want us to die?!

he screamed, reaching out for his fallen spear. I saw the blood gathering in his bruised palms. I tried to get

up and he pulled me by the arm. I felt the bone in my arm pull away from the throbbing in my healing

shoulder. A deep sharp sting cut across the length of my back. I wanted to scream, but my voice wouldnt

go beyond the base of my tongue. My throat felt dry and sticky. I couldnt breathe through my nose.

I saw blood spew out of the back of the fleeing man. The iron log came rushing at us. I could see

Liakus body lying in its path, her face turned towards the burning sun. Injuke dragged me into the grass. I

felt my body get lifted and slung over the length of his shoulder. The contours of his muscular body sankinto flesh of my belly. I sniffed the pungent smell of his sweaty skin and it became harder to breathe. My

cousin looked back with relief. The soldiers were not yet on us. He squatted to grab his spear and ran withme, deeper into the forest.

We could hear the rustling of the leaves beneath their feet, while Injuke helped me take my last foot off

his shoulder, to climb higher into the branches of a mango tree. I saw the widened eyes of my cousin

beneath me and the gloom of the silent leaves hovering above me. The tough dry bark of a large branch,

pressed against the dust on my bruised thigh. I hissed in pain and I looked down.

Move! Move! Injuke signalled to me with the back of his hand. I looked away from him and

clambered into the darkened branches. When I looked down again, he was gone.

There were many colours in the outfits of the brown soldiers; yellow, cream and darkened shades ofgreen

. One of the soldiers had his gun against his thigh. He was standing away from the shade of the mango tree.

He was the one who had held Liaku up for her to be shot. I felt a thin sharp pain slice across my woundedarm. My chest heaved with fumes of a bitter anger. I wanted to pounce on him and poke out his eyes. I tried

to move further up the branch on which I clung. My left foot pressed hard and broke off a dead twig. The

brawny man under the tree raised his head. He gazed into the little holes between the leaves, trying to

penetrate their darkness, with his stiffened eyes. I peeped from my branch. I saw his face

They searched the little portion of the forest through which we had entered. All that time, I tightly heldunto the pendant of my talisman, praying that my cousin would not come to any harm. They searched

through the treetops. They wandered and poked their guns into the thicket. They searched through the

crevices in a heavy pile of clustered rocks. They searched for a tiring length of time; enough for one man to

skin a bull. Another one of them came to stand beneath my mango tree. He stared up into the high leaves

again. Then, in a slow eerie manner of much calm than the vigorous way in which they had come, they

silently fell back and slipped away through the thick long grass. I waited in patience and in fear, till I heard

the growling of the heavy iron log disappearing into the distance behind me. I carefully descended the

branches and peeped down to find my cousin I looked up to the north. I turned, on the treetop, andlooked down; sideways to the left, and then to the right. I even turned to look south. But there were only

trees to be seen, and not even a wandering birds cry or the rustling of leaves to be heard. The winds haddied down and it felt so frightening to be alone. Where was my cousin? Where was Injuke? I looked

towards the east, where the soldiers had come from. I looked to the extreme west, where the dense pile of

bronzed white rock stood. I felt a strong surge of might gather at the edge of my throat and slowly regress

down the base of my throbbing tongue. I was scared to scream out his name because I had the fear that

perhaps, a brown soldier still lurked in the greenery somewhere near. With the icy hands of fright

beginning to make me shiver, I climbed further up the length of a nearby branch. Then suddenly, I heard

17


18/23

the rustling of the leaves in the west. I turned and saw the blade of a slanted spear moving amongst the

drooping leaves of a short-stemmed willow. The shaft of the weapon rose through the parting branches, like

the stiff raised neck of an angered cobra. I saw the fingers of a man slowly rise to grip the shaft. Dried

leaves began to rustle in the rising wind. I saw the branches of the willow jerk up; and then fall back. Two

of the supple branches parted, to make way for the glow of something dark and shiny. Another handbrushed aside the pale green leaves. I saw a squatting body begin to rise. The leaves on the twirling

branches pulled away from its manly torso. I lay astounded, on my mango branch, gazing into his sweatyface. It was my cousin.

That evening I was mad at him. It hurt like a wound, to look him in his eye. My chest ached with a

sickening pain that made it even hard to cough. We walked through the shrubs of the breezy forest and

came upon a glade along the length of the path. We slowed our pace. Our journey was in the direction

down which the iron log had gone. We pressed on in silence, toward a world of battered hope and a haze of

unseen dangers. We feared what lay behind us. Several times, I did hear him call my name. But I did notrespond. I did not want to speak to him. There were darkening fumes of a growing bitterness and confusion

whirling around my mind. I thought of the vain rain clouds and the frightening thunder we had just had. I

thought of the rustling grass leaves that had swayed with strength as if they were urging us on.

Liaku The running man I shook my head in the swaying wind. I wanted my thoughts to go away. I

did not want to remember what had happened to them. I did not want to remember how much it hurt while I

was dragged through the gravels. What I longed to hold unto, was the sight of Liakus face; not as it had

been as she lay in the sun, but as it had smiled and bloomed in the sweet cool of the evening, some many

days before. She had been standing in the grass behind Grandpas forge. I remembered the sparkling whiteof her warm shy eyes; the long tufts of braided hair that dangled behind her tilted head; the unhurried

swinging of her slender body as the palms of her little hands feverishly covered her cheeks. Her brief lightchuckles sounded like music. The men had been working, beating metal in the forge. I had sneaked out of

my mothers hut. I was there too; beside the wall; in the plain where she stood. Liaku was beautiful. I

moved slowly towards her. The horizon was blazing with a deeper red. The soaring crows were heading

home, through the evening sky above us. I held out my hand and she took it. She moved closer to me. And

in the calm of the evening air, we stood, gazing into each others eyes.

Time has breath, Grandpa often said. Moments have souls; they die and never come back.

How could one have ever known that my people would one day be caught up in a war? Not even the gods

had forewarned us of this great evil that tainted our future. In our endowed different shapes and sizes, dowe tread this gift of the Kind-hearted One. When the hour is right, the able falls and in time the pauper dies.

Time is a gift meant to be lost. What matters, is how you lose it. Words of the greatest wisdom always

seem senseless. Grandpa was so right. If I had known the days of peace would suddenly be over, as youngas I was, I would have counted the times I laughed. I would have treasured in my heart, the memory of how

my loved ones smiled. The good and the simple things were lost; gone; forever

Soli, if you continue like this, someday, well both die. When the soldiers are out there, dont try to

look back. In a war, the armed fight; the helpless run. It is just like Kundele told us before we left: If you

are being chased with a threat of death, never mock it with your eyes. I know. It is true it is our peoplewho are dying out there. But we cant help them, Soli. We cannot help them, my cousin suddenly began to

speak. The sound of his voice reminded me of the nagging pain in the back of my arm. I looked at his face,

at his huge nose; but a sudden well of anger made me look down. The rustling of the dried leaves beneath

my feet sounded like too much noise. I could feel the breath in my chest becoming stronger, heavier. My

feet thumped harder on the forest soil. I stamped ahead of my cousin.

We couldnt have saved her! Injuke shouted. Why are you acting so stupid? It is not your fault! The

fault stemmed from none of us, either. There were three of them and only two of us

There was also that man who was running! I chipped in.What really is the matter with you?! Injuke yelled back. Look at how tiny you are. And even, look

at me. Do you think we could have beaten those soldiers? And tell me, what is wrong with you?! Thosesoldiers had guns; did you not see? We could never have made it to them. Maybe I was stupid for dragging

you along instead of leaving you behind to die with your Liaku. Do you think if I had left you to go, you

could have made it? The gods could have saved her; why dont you blame them?! I thought we were

brothers now. I thought that after what had happened to the both of us, you would put value on the little that

I try to do the worthless little that I always try to do and nobody ever tries to notice Indeed, I am so

18


19/23

stupid; I should have taken the spear and fled alone and left your stupid self to fend for something that was

meant to die.

You are just like Grandpa and Miimi always said. I yelled back, pointing a finger at him. You are

not human. See how you broke my arm. You are thoughtless, heartless and a cruel creature. You have no

consideration for the well-being of others. The women who sold brooms at the weekly market back homewere probably right. You are a young wizard who killed his parents for their blood. One of these days, the

gods will punish you!There was a part that of me that could not believe what I had said. Injuke silently stood there, before

my deep gasps. Why was I so frail, when I needed to be so strong? Why was there so much happening

around me and all I could do was run? My cousin stood in the hurried air, grasping firmly unto the shaft of

his spear. I felt the thumping pain raging in my shoulder, cut into the back of my head. Impulsively, I began

to urge back. My anger was weakened by the claws of a looming fear. I looked into my cousins face and

saw the same calm look of indifference that he wore whenever he had the urge to pounce on me. But Iwould not take my words back. I recalled being dragged through the biting sand; the edges of scorched

gravels eating into the surface of my flesh, and I couldnt stop it, because I was frail; helpless. I

remembered the face of a pretty little girl who had struggled and died in the grip of a mean soldier. I felt

my chest stiffen with a strangling fury. I glared into my cousins eyes

We had done nothing wrong; why did people want us dead? The soldiers back in my village, always

protected people; why did a soldier have to kill a limping man? The sky was spotted with gathering dark

clouds and very soon, the rains would come; why I could not hold hands with my friends and play? Why

did my mother have to know so much fear, that when I called her, she heard, but wouldnt turn? It didntmatter if all the hatred burned and the soldiers all dropped their guns; my life had been changed forever

and that made me angry; angry that I knew so little but had to see so much; angry that I remembered thecomfort of a home and had to live in the forest. I was too angry to have patience with what I didnt

understand; too angry to realise I was not alone in my pain; too angry to admit I was wrong. I glared into

Injukes straight face and stamped towards the thicket ahead, as if I didnt care to die.

But, I didnt want to die. My fear for the tip of the spear slowly brought me to a halt. I turned and saw

Injukes weapon raised. I saw the glitter of awaiting evil in his eye. My heart throbbed so hard that I could

feel it in my mouth. The flesh around his lips was tightened; my cousins spear was pointed at me. I felt my

nostrils and my mouth fill with the smell of death. Teardrops fell from his shut eyes as he stepped forward

and flung

Documents

BECOMING A GUN