Becoming a Totally Responsible Person

Becoming a Totally Responsible PersonYour complete guide to being a successful person!

Overview of the TRP LessonWe can learn to take personal responsibility for our emotions and attitudes.We can learn to eliminate the Victim Mentality in ourselves. We can learn to deal with the Victim Mentality in Others.

2Take this time to explain to students that they are responsible for how they decide to react to different situations and they do MAKE A CHOICE about how they react. They will react either as a Victim or as a TRP. Which Is More Important? EQ = Emotional IntelligenceIQ = Intelligence Quotient

Much evidence testifies that people that are emotionally adept are at an advantage in any domain of life whether it be in romance or in a professional organization.

3EQ is a test that measures your ability to react to emotional situations. This includes your ability to react to other individuals or situations that you may experience. How Do You React to Situations?Situation ReactionSituation Choice Reaction

4Share with the students an example of being late for work and getting stuck in a traffic jam. You could react with anger and blame the traffic jam for your bad mood, or you could accept that what happened is out of your hands, call work from your cell phone, and turn on the radio and enjoy a little down time from lifes stress. Awareness Allows Us to Make a Choice!Situation Choice Response

The key to releasing the victim mentality is Self-Awareness.

5With practice, we can become aware of those times and situations when we enter into the victim mentality. Awareness empowers us to turn a reaction into a response, to turn the negative into a positive. This determines the quality of our individual expression our character! Awareness of Our Victim Mentality 3 ComponentsThoughts and StatementsEmotionsBehaviors Body posturesFacial expressionsTone of voiceStrategies

6Thoughts and statements review 120 victim statementsNegative Emotions brainstorm a listBehaviors brainstorm Body postures, Facial expressions and Tone of voice List how we feel physically (tight or painful parts of our body) when we are in a victim frame of mind. We Hear Music From Victims Everyday! The All-American Rejects One More Sad Song Alone with you, alone with me. What can I do? I can not breath, my heart is torn, for all to see. Alone with you, alone with me.P Diddy Missing You Life ain't always what it seem to be. Words can't express what you mean to me! Even though you're gone we still a team.

7What Is a Victim? When a person is in the victim mode, he or she reacts in one or more of the following ways:

Shows anger, abrasiveness, and has outburstsExits. Leaves in a huffFeels sorry for ones self, gets depressedCriticize, blames, or judges othersBecomes offended or touchyThinks about revengeSpreads negativitySulks, pouts, mopes or acts moody

What Is a Victim? (continued)Displays foot-dragging or lack of cooperationActs cynical or pessimistic and whinesComplains and criticizes to all that listenHas attitude of self-righteousnessHas unsatisfactory work performanceComplains without offering a solutionThinks about self and not othersOffers excuses when task not completeMakes major decisions while in a negative mode that turn out badly and the consequences may last years

How Can We Change Our Victim Mentality?Become aware of the times when we are entering into the victim mode. Learn how it looks and feels. Become sensitive to the recurring thoughts, emotions, and body posture.

Avoiding the Victim MentalityWhen we have a greater awareness to our victim mode, we can choose to cease or continue as a victim. Create an environment that helps our self-awareness. Post the common victim statements and surround ourselves by positive thinking friends.

Avoiding the Victim MentalityTake the list of common victim statements and underline those that we use most often, even add new ones. Post the list in a prominent place.

Avoiding the Victim MentalitySee the humorous side to the situation. We can all learn to laugh at ourselves when we catch ourselves in the state of teeth-gnashing or feeling sorry for ourselves. Learn that we dont need to take ourselves too seriously!

Avoiding the Victim MentalityAllow the victim energy to be transmitted into a positive channel rather than blowing off steam. Learn from experiences in which we were a victim. Became aware of it, and turned ourselves into a Totally Responsible Person.

Avoiding the Victim MentalityServe othersthe best remedy of all. By serving others, we are letting go of our own problems. Such service brings out the best in the server! JDRF

Dealing With a VictimAvoid Rescuing and EnablingCertain behaviors encourage victim behavior in others.

Avoid: Rescuing a victim by doing a task for them. They end up never learning to do it themselves. Encouraging others by letting them know their victim behavior and negative emotional state are justified and acceptable.

Avoid Makes Me Language One of the most commonly used phrases in our culture is makes me. Janet really makes me angry.That makes me happy.Children make me nervous.Janet makes me angry is an example of un-self-responsible language. That choice of language helps you to see something or someone else as being in control of your responses to life. This diminishes your personal power.

People Around You Act Like You Do!People around us tend to match our attitudes.If we are pleasant to people, they tend to be pleasant to us. If we smile at people, they tend to smile back. They are unpleasant if we are unpleasant. If we are truthful with others, we are surprised if they lie to us.

Your Attitude and Feelings of PeopleA wise man was sitting at the city gate. A traveler approached and said, I am thinking of moving from my city to this one. Can you tell me what the people here are like? The wise man replied, What are the people like in the city you come from? Oh, said the traveler, they are a nasty bunch; mean, selfish, and unfair. Then the wise man said, I think you will find people to be the same in this city. The next day another traveler approached the wise man and said, I am thinking of moving from my city to this one. Can you tell me what the people here are like? The wise man replied, What are the people like in the city you come from? Oh, said the traveler, they are kind, honest, generous, and friendly. Then the wise man said, I think you will find people to be the same in this city.

What Is a TRP? When a person is not in the victim mode, he or she reacts in one or more of the following ways:

Doesnt make important decisions when stuck in negative emotional tension or victim state. Instead they take time to cool off. Takes criticism and feedback well and is not victimized by criticism.Doesnt blame others.Takes responsibility for his or her emotional state. Is able to admit ignorance and is not defensive. Stays cool under pressure.Is aware of his or her own feelings and emotions.

What Is a TRP? (continued)Can express emotions at the right time, in the right way, to achieve a good purpose. Is aware of the feelings of others. Deals well with change and changing conditions.Seeks solutions when faced with a problem instead of blaming and criticizing. Learns from experience and mistakes. Inspires others with positive demeanor and attitude.Is able to handle setbacks and errors. Takes initiative and is not resistant.Cooperates with others.Is clearheaded. Thinking is not clouded by negativity.Has a positive attitude, is optimistic, and believes that problems can be solved.

Compare and ContrastUse a Compare and Contrast chart to organize our understanding of a Victim vs. a TRP.Use posters and word strips to identify behaviors of Victims and a TRP.