Better Icebreaker Queerwerstions

7/28/2019 Better Icebreaker Queerwerstions

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better icebreaker questions

brought to you by

CoolPeopleCare.org

Sam Davidsons tips help you have bet ter meetings,gatherings and conversations. Use these questions during your

next staff meeting, neighborhood gathering or first date.


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contentsbetter icebreaker Question #1:

Fondue or Not Fondue?

better icebreaker Question #2:

What kind of Art can you stand?better icebreaker Question #3:

Who is your favorite Fringe Character?

better icebreaker Question #4:What is your High and Low?

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words from SamWelcome to my series of better icebreaker questions. Now you can lead better

groups and get to know people better.

why this series?We've all been in those awful situations where we have to go around the room and

introduce ourselves and answer some stupid question. No one likes to do thosethings, especially given the questions we're forced to answer.

I've spent many years facilitating large group activities for adults who have just met,and engaged in story circles with teenagers who have been together for nearly a year.

And no matter the set ting, I vehemently refuse to make people say their name and

their favorite movie, what kind of candy they like, or an adjective that starts with thesame letter that begins your first name. This is why I am here to offer you an

alternative for discussion starters, silence fillers, and introduction topics.



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You either love or hate The Melting Pot

(or any other fondue restaurant that takes too long to eat at).

If you love it, it's because you like cooking your own food, or because it'ssupposedly romantic or simply because it's an alternative to the typical food offeringsserved up by a Chili's, Applebee's or OCharley's (or anywhere else that ends with -'sand serves up a margarita where they use the restaurant's name and add -arita on

the end).

why this question?



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If you're like me, you think it's overpriced and all you get is some undercookedchicken, some chocolate covered strawberries and clothes that smell like cooking oi

for your more-than-$100 meal.

Regardless of how you feel about The Melting Pot, how often you go there, or howbadly you (think) you want to go there, The Melting Pot question leads to an opinion

and then to a story, which helps me know someone a lot better than the fact that they

said their name was Boisterous Brian who is going to the beach with a bunny in abobsled.

just a thought



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I went to The Melting Pot with the in-laws while visiting them in Texas. It was a goodplace to catch up after arriving for the Christmas holidays, but two-and-a-half hours of

dipping sticks in meat didn't excite me. I would have rather us gather at the coffeeshop and sipped java while giving updates. When we walked out of the restaurant and

decided to gather for a family photo, a bird pooped on me.

See? A better question that elicits a good story that makes you laugh and rememberme in a sea of people as the guy who doesn't care for long dinners that include bread

dipped in hot cheese and who got fly-by crapped on. You know me bet ter, will andcan connect with me one a deeper level than if you simply knew I like Snickers bars.

as for me



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Not everyone has been to The Melting Pot or a similar restaurant, so some folks mayfeel excluded. One addendum can be to include in the question those hibachi

restaurants, where the chef makes your chicken and beef in front of you and tossesshrimp tails behind his back and into his hat. And, if you think that people haven't

been to either of these places, then move on to better icebreakers that follow.

possible pitfalls



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What kind of art can you stand?

Again, we're looking for questions than allow people to tell stories. Stories, after all,help us remember people better, as well as offer a chance for the storyteller to reveal

more about himself or herself.

The way people tell stories, the way they highlight certain parts, what they choose toremember and tell and how excited they feel about telling it all allow insight into a

person more than simply sharing the name of their pet. People's ideas of art alwayshave a story involved. Some people hate art, some don't understand it , and some love

it to the point of snobbery. Since opinions of art are rarely worn on our day-to-daysleeves, this question allows groups to get to know each other a lit tle more in-depth.

why this question?



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Keep the phrase as I've listed above because it lightens the mood and directspeople into a similar mental framework to share a unique angle on art . Sure, youcould get more philosophical and ask, What artist has made the most important

contribution to the collective human understanding of self? But that would be boringand no one would talk.

By asking what kind of art people can stand, you're bound to get stories of art peoplecan't stand, usually accompanied by a story beginning with, "One time, my wife made

me go to this exhibit" or "In second grade my class went on a field trip" andhilarity may ensue.

just a thought



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But, more than anything else, you get to learn what people feel connected to. Art, likemusic, usually elicits something emotional in people. And, the coolest part of this will

be that the art neophytes in the group (like me) will usually tell the stories of theirfriends who paint or take pictures, allowing new people to hear about someone tryingto share their talent with the world. Most folks would rather hear something personal

than some idiot ramble on about Da Vinci or Monet.

just a thought



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I'd talk about how I really enjoy religious art, mainly from the medieval andrenaissance eras. I like seeing how people long ago understood their faith and

depicted it in art. I'd share how I think we're in similar positions today - we think weknow a lot about spirituality, but it really just comes down to our own take on things.Just as no painting can capture all of our thoughts about something or even a glimpseof religious mystery, neither can our best attempts at describing the divine, whether

we use paintbrushes or pulpits, blogs or Bibles.

Deep, huh? It's certainly more than you'd get from me telling you what my favorite TVshow is.

as for me



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Not everyone loves art , and some folks just can't stand any of it. That's fine tellthem to listen to others. By the time it's their turn they'll be ready to share an

experience with art that did have an impact on them. And, because our randomgroupings may mean that an art theory major will be alongside the president of the

local Anne Geddes fan club, you may need to set some ground rules that no one willbe judged for their opinions on art (however it's defined).

possible pitfalls



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Who's your favorite fringe character?

Asking about favorite TV shows reveals something deeper about someone sincepeople have to dig through their memory banks to remember what TV used to be like.

With the fringe question, people begin to rifle through their television highlights. Inorder to name a favorite fringe character you have to know the show pretty well. Thus,

group members get a glimpse into which shows you like and are dedicated to.

Like all good icebreaker questions, we could get a story with this one. We may hearabout how much television someone watched as a kid (or even now). Some may also

share how the show brings up past memories of importance. We may get a quick story about certain posters of main characters that hung in bedrooms or lockers.

why this question?



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What this question also teaches is how people observe things. Fringe characters onlymake brief appearances, even if they have recurring roles. Therefore, it's always

interesting to see what people pick up in a brief amount of screen time. The parallelis obvious we all have fringe characters that dramatically shape our lives. Our

worlds could be even richer if we paid as much attention to them as we do to actorswho take the stage only briefly on our TV.

just a thought



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As a bonus, here are specific variations on the question (along with my answers):- Who's your favorite male on Sex in the City? (Steve, with Aidan as a close second)- Who's your favorite adult on Saved by the Bell? (Mr. Belding's brother - one-timesubstitute teacher once and his long hair made him seem so much cooler than all ofmy substitute teachers)- Who's your favorite patient on Scrubs? (I like the lady who dreams of singing onBroadway - she ultimately dies and sings a Colin Hay song teaching JD about death)- Who's your favorite friend on Full House? (who doesnt like Michelle's friend Teddy?)- Who's your favorite cameo on Friends? (Bruce Willis did a fine job, but I'll alwaysenjoy Brad Pitt at Thanksgiving)

as for me



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If you have a group of a various age groups they may not all watch the same shows. Although a lot of people watch TV, not everyone does (believe it or not). And, some

people may not be dedicated to TV as much as others. Thus, the term 'fringecharacter' should be an ambiguous one. One persons Jazzy Jeff may be anotherpersons Nurse Jennifer (the school nurse that Zack Morris wanted to go out with

instead of Kelly). You should also allow other people to use fringes in other worlds aswell (favorite guest musician on a favorite artist's album or favorite fringe character in

a novel).

possible pitfalls



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What's your high and low?

Were looking for questions that allow people to tell stories because stories make usremember better. Stories convey facts that we remember because of the distinctparts in the information shared - a beginning, an end, a conflict and its resolution.

This question about high points and low points always comes with a story attached.This is a question my family has been doing for years. After my mom saw The Story

of Us and declared that the only redeeming feature of the entire film was thisdinner-table ritual. Since then, we've incorporated it into our Sunday brunches, ourvacations, our holiday meals, and nearly any other gathering that provides time for

sharing and updates.

why this question?



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One of the best things about this question is that it allows for coworkers andcolleagues to see the life side of peoples' work/life balance. You begin to hear about

someone else's trip to the mall, a kid's soccer game, a humorous anecdote aboutgrocery shopping or driving, a deep story about meeting someone for the first time, ahorror story about a date, or anything else that happens to us outside of our working

hours. In essence, this question allows us to see that there are real people at ourconferences and staff meetings. This then helps shape how we communicate during

the rest of our time together.

just a thought



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I've used this question in my weekly meetings with teenagers and in churchgatherings. At first, many attendees are a bit apprehensive, but over the course of a

few weeks, once they begin to see that this is a staple and a routine, many evenbegin to come prepared with an answer.

We begin our time each week with this simple question. We go around the circleallowing each person to answer the question as he or she chooses. We hear that

someone hates their job, that someone is excited about their mothers upcoming visit,

and about someones great concert expereince. We hear about life. And that's reallywhat we're all running around trying to find: others to live experience with.

as for me



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Better Icebreaker Queerwerstions