BREAK FREEHave you woke up just wanting to die? Praying to god just for a simple death. Thinking about trying suicide just because you have no reason to leave, just because you are direction less, and just because you feel like running from everything and start a fresh. Its really hard to start fresh from where you left, its easy to build a new start from a different place. It just need a lot of courage.I texted my friend 2 days ago and I know she has seen read and deleted the text. I know what I did was not right. I do regret it but that was necessary. Someone had to do that. Someone had to break free. I did it and I became the bad guy. Right now I am just thinking its not my fault. Everything we have been through it wouldnt have been possible without me. I took her as a child, as a sister. I showered my love to her but I never got back. Yaa I do miss her cause making her grew from her childish nature to a mature person I know theres a lot of my effort. What I just couldnt do was make her not be selfish but I guess she turned me to her. I am a lot selfish now. And I thank her for that. May be just showering my love was useless cause every day I shower love to everyone and I get nothing. I have no one to share what I feel. May be getting a little selfish is not a harm.I remember the times when I asked her to go to DJ night and to that she replied you go enjoy with your friends. That day was the first time I felt what I have been doing for her being her back that all was useless. But right after that I thought maybe she is feeling too lonely so I started to be with her more and I stopped talking with all of my friends. Its been 3 years for that incident and now what she called my so called friends are actually hers and I am all cornered out.I still remember her look when I used to talk with other student showing her so called attitude and just because of that look I stopped talking to others. I started sacrificing for her. Whenever we used to go out we used to eat what she liked she never ever asked what I wish to eat. And thats all my fault I forgot I was just her friend not her mom or family and I did not need to sacrifice for her. I remember the time when she used to get upset I used to take her out or I would bring her food or ice cream just because she was upset. I asked her what if I get upset what you would do. She said we would not do anything because you like to stay all grumpy when you are upset. And I thought I always do so much and today I get this answer. I remember the anger in me busted that day. When I was waiting for her for the key. I had called her a billion times I had texted her may times. If it would be someone else I would totally understand but I wasnt a stranger that she should have ignored after all she had said that she would be in home after 5min. and I had waited for her 40 min outside the room doing nothing just waiting with all the ignored calls and messages. She came in and I said you would come in 5min. she shouted and said dont you think I had to wait for auto. I got so mad and said dont you think you needed to answer my call or reply back and what I felt was (I know your phone is always in your hands and you can never miss a call from anyone. I am not a stranger). After that she just changed and stayed on the corridor like I had I kicked her out of room or said something that was wrong. I took her dinner from bhaiya and when she written she didnt had it. I thought she wasnt hungry. The next day as always I took both of ours breakfast she just didnt took it. Instead she took another bowl and had her breakfast. We both were getting ready and I went to change my clothes on she ran away. She was totally ignoring me as it was my fault. I was so torn apart. She would never be in the room like I said something bad to her. Like I am the bad person but all I wanted to say was I am not an unknown person I have always been there for her for the past 5yrs and from all that what I get from her is that. I remembered time and again when chirag used to say what you two are isnt friendship. Everyone can clearly see she is using you. And you are stupid enough to think that its friendship. Even though he was totally against our friendship he helped her to talk with me. And I regret accepting her sorry. I know theres my fault and now I dont regret breaking the ice by walking away from her. I dont regret it. Yaa I do remember her when there always exam or project submission and I send her message because its been my duty since the longest time I know. But what I dont regret is walking away from her.I got into depression thinking I have no one. I wanted to die coz of that. Thinking I gave her all of me and I have no one around of me but time will heal it. I thought I had left her behind. But she had left me behind manytimes without any information without anyone. This is my part of story may hers is different. And breaking the ice was best thing. If this wasnt the actual situation it would have been worse. I dont care If I am the bad guy over here but I wanted to break free