Breast Cancer Wellness Journal

8/7/2019 Breast Cancer Wellness Journal

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26 Breast Cancer Wellness Magazine | Be a Thriver!

Inspire

But Lillies preparation or her own

healing and or her lies work began long

beore Lillie was an adult. It began as

young as age 12.

Miss Bertha was the best riend o Lil-

lies mom. Lillie was only 12 years old when

Miss Bertha was diagnosed with breast

cancer. Though a well-educated woman, a

psychologist, Miss Bertha didnt know thewarning signs o a breast health problem.

She had an open draining sore on her

breast and a mass the size o a sotball or

more than a year beore she sought medical

care. By that time, the cancer had advanced

to her ribs, hip joint, lungs, and liver. The

tumor had actually grown so large it had

broken through the skin.

The doctor estimated that Miss Bertha

would live approximately fve months, and

urged her to go home and get her aairs in

order. She told the doctor she didnt have

time to get her aairs in order because she

was going to be too busy living. She ex-

plained that she made a list o the personal

goals she intended to achieve beore she let

this world and she had just decided to add

an additional goal to the list --- that goalwas to outlive him, her doctor! And Miss

Bertha did. She survived or 21 more years.

Her doctor died o a heart attack 18 years

ater her diagnosis, so she accomplished

her goal.

At the time Lillie had no idea how

signifcant Miss Berthas attitude about

living would have on her uture and her

own personal health. She taught Lillie the

It was while Lillie Shockney was still recovering from her rst mastectomy

surgery that she knew she was meant to devote her life to helping others

facing breast cancer. illie is the dministrative Director of the John Hopkins

von Foundation Breast Center at Baltimore MD, member of the surical

faculty, oncoloy nurse, internationally renowned speaker, breast cancer

survivor and thriver, and author ofStealing Second Base, A Breast Cancer

Survivors Experience and Breast Cancer Experts Story.

Thriver Prole

Humor andWellness Wisdom y BEVERLY VOTE

Lillie Shockney, B, M

priceless value o humor, a git that Lillie

experiences and shares in some way every

day that she can.

Lillies amily kept humor alive, includ-

ing the most difcult time o telling theirdaughter Laura who was 12 at the time

o Lillies diagnosis. Laura suggested they

keep the breast in a pickle jar on the fre-

place mantel so that i Lillie was ever sad

she could go and look at it, or when Laura

asked i the doctor was going to move her

right breast to the middle o her chest? The

question caught Lillie o guard because she

thought she was prepared or any ques-

tions her daughter would ask her, but this

one surprised and humored her when she

thought about the operative consent orm

would be needed or such a surgical treat-ment. Yet it was the ingenious insight o

the child that knew the removal o Lillies

large breast would create an imbalance in

her posture. Lillie explained what a breast

prosthesis was. Lauras questions were seri-

ous to her but hit Lillie and her husband

right in the unny bone in the perect way.

They made a pact that every day or the rest

o their lives they would fnd something


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www.breastcancerwellness.org 2

unny about the act that Lillie had been

diagnosed. And they have honored the pact

ever since.

Humor continued to present itsel in

Lillies lie. Funny situations that could

have been ignored, but Lillie allowed the

git o humor to keep her lie in perspective.

One o her riends rom Florida sent Lillie

stick-on nipples or her breast prostheses in

hopes o boosting Lillies confdence or an

upcoming presentation Lillie was making

about the program she had created in the

Breast Center called Waking Up Trans-

ormed. Lillies presentation was to discuss

ways to improve the surgical experience

or women undergoing breast cancer. Her

audience was mostly a male audience or

her presentation and it was the only time

that Lillie ever thought she was going to be

nervous or a presentation.

Who could have been prepared or what

happened ater Lillie returned to the table

ater speaking so orthright about what

women needed ater breast surgery. She ex-

plained to her audience that women needed

to be able to eel in control on their day o

surgery and how their Breast Center could

help women eel less anxiety by educating

women what was going to happen to them

during and ater surgery, and that more

help was needed to control nausea. These

were certainly very important messages

that these inuential people needed to

know.

Just as Lillie was taking o her jacket

and sat down with her peers, a lovely china

plate o cookies were being passed. When

the plate got square in ront o Lillie, she

looked down and on her dessert plate was

one o her nipples. Yes, her stick-on nipple

had made its way to the plate! Lillie was in

shock, the plate was shaking in her hands.

The chairman looked at the dessert plate

and said, Oh, I didnt see that they had

those thin waer cookies. Thats my avorite

cookie.

Lillie stared at her plate, and quickly

responded Gee its my avorite too and I

I think that humor builds the immunesystem, and it is the immune systemthat has gone on the blink to allowcancer cells to grow. So Im going to

find something to laugh about every

day as part of my treatment.Miss Bertha, Family Friend

f ever had a doubt that was in the riht profession and doin whatgod wanted me to be doin, all doubts left my mind that niht.


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think Ill save it or later. She picked up

the nipple and put it in her skirt pocket

and excused hersel to the restroom ater

scanning the table to see i her other nipple

was laying around someplace it shouldnt

have been too. Because the stick-on nipplewasnt properly applied, it had migrated

over to the pocket o her mastectomy bra so

when Lillie had reached or the cookie plate

being passed, the nipple ell out. Without

her quick thinking, someone might have

been chewing on her nipple! Lillie never

wore the stick-on nipples again.

Its just not Lillies humor that the world

needs more o, but we also beneft rom her

wisdom and compassion. In Lillies work

she serves women rom all other the world

by helping them ater being diagnosed

with breast cancer in whatever capacity

she can. She received an email rom Bill

that his wie Mary had been battling breast

cancer or more than three years and that

it had advanced to her liver and brain.

The doctor advised Bill that the drugs and

therapy werent working anymore and it

was time to switch to hozpiss. When Lillie

read the email, her heart sank; Bill didnt

know what the doctor was telling him. She

couldnt just e-mail this man back. She had

to speak with him and help Bill understand

that hospice was a service rom compas-sionate individuals who would help his

wie get closure with her lie and die with

dignity and be as comortable and prepared

as possible or end o lie.

Needless to say, Bill was devastated and

explained that Mary couldnt die. They had

two small boys to raise and that he couldnt

live without her. Lillie helped Bill to see

that he needed to be strong or his amily

and help Mary do what she needed to do

in the potentially brie time that remained.

Lillie then asked Bill to go to the local card

store and to explain to the manager hiswies situation. Lillie told him to request

that the manager assist him in selecting

birthday cards or each boy up through age

21, holiday cards, graduation rom high

school and college, and even cards or the

boys wedding days. The manager would

need to help because many holidays and

events such as Christmas are not displayed

year round and are kept in their storage

room. Bill then was to go to the hospital

and help his wie write one sentence in

each o them or each o their boys. What

message did she want to tell them as they

reached certain milestones o their lie?

She could still, through her words, be rightthere instilling her values in them and lov-

ing them. They would eel her spirit.

Bill e-mailed Lillie our days later that

his wie had passed and that all the cards

were saely placed in a lockbox or the u-

ture. Lillie is thankul that she was candid

with Bill about the seriousness o his wies

condition so that this amily could have

closure in whatever way was best or them.

Afrmations or our lies work come

in many orms, but the story Lillie shares

about Jo, a 34 year old mother diagnosed

with stage IV breast cancer, is an extraor-

dinary message, one which might give you

goosebumps as it did me. I have read it

more than once to let the beauty o its mes-

sage soak in even more.

he tory of Jo

I was sitting at my desk responding

to e-mails one aternoon when my phone

rang. I picked up the receiver and pro-

vided my usual introductions: This is Lille

Shockney. May I help you? The voice onthe other end o the phone was desperate

and tearul. Who is there? I replied again,

This is Lillie Shockney. Where am I call-

ing? I replied, Youve reached the Breast

Center. But where? Which breast center?

I was surprised to think that she was so

stressed she wasnt even sure what institu-

tion she was calling. I simply responded,

The Johns Hopkins Breast Center. She

then said, Can you help me? I said yes,

without even asking yet what her problem

was and then asked her to describe her situ-

ation to me. She tearully explained thatshe was a new mother, age 34, and her baby

was just a week old. She had been diag-

nosed with inammatory breast cancer that

had spread to her bones and lungs. She had

told her OB doctor numerous times during

her pregnancy that her one breast was red,

hot, and hard. He had placed her on antibi-

otics, which she had taken or more than 3

months without relie and steadily watched

Join Lillie on the6th AnnualBreast Cancer

Thrivers Cruise

he will share her personal

journey with breast cancer and

how humor has been one of

her weapons aainst breast

cancer. he will share with what

it means to be a survivor and the

opportunities life has presented

to her in allowin her to make a

dierence in this world for others

and how she wants to inspire

others to do the same. oether

we will lauh, and cry, but all of

us will come away feelin more

enriched and alive and wantin

to help others in their journeys

forward. oether, we will

rock the boat!

See page 42 for details.


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Mary Ann Wasil Nilan2011 Pink Power Super Mom

WHO IS A PINK POWER MOM?

She is a mother who has persevered through a battlewith breast cancer and continues to be a role modelto her family and community. Pink Power Moms inspireeveryone whose lives they touch, so the Bright Startsmission is to share their stories with the world.

WHAt dOES SHE WIN?

The eight winning moms will each receive a $5,000donation to the breast cancer charity of her choice, aweekend getaway, plus pampering gifts just for her.

CELEBRAtE 5 YEARS StRONg

With cancer, 5 years is an important milestone. It meansyoure winning. This year, the Pink Power Mom initiative iscelebrating its fth year of applauding women who havemade a difference for others.

Nominations run from April 1 through June 30, 2011.

nominate the

in your life

2010PINKPOWERMOMS:CindiHartDollyAshtonONealHillarySweetLindaBlairLydiaDodyTamiBoehmerWendyM

www.pinkpowermom.com

her today at


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Bein dianosed with breast cancer and bein iven the opportunity to survive provides each of us with the chance

to step back and assess how we are spending our time and bein to look more closely as to whether what we are do-

in is really contributing to this world in a positive way. We are in touch with our mortality ahead of schedule and

bein to realize that life is more precious than we reconized or conceived and needs to be valued and not taken

for ranted. elationships take on a dierent tone, some perhaps endin and others becomin more meaningful.

Lillie Shockney

her breast get worse. She had complained

that her hips hurt and her ribs hurt. Still

she was ignored and told that all these

symptoms were related to her pregnancy.

When she delivered by C-section, she

complained more about her ribs hurting

than her new abdominal incision. Still her

doctor didnt listen, but the anesthesiolo-

gist did. He was concerned and requested a

chest x-ray 24 hours ater the baby arrived.

There were pathological ractures to her

ribs. She had metastatic disease, and it was

everywhere. She was told that there was no

treatment. It was too late and to go home

and spend time with her new baby. They

estimated she would live 3 to 4 weeks at the

most. That conversation had taken place

just days beore her call to me. So she said,

Please tell me Hopkins can do something.

I dont want to die and leave my baby. I

dont want to leave my husband alone to

raise her. Please help me live, even i justor a year.

I instructed her to come to Hopkins the

next morning, and when I hung up with

her I wondered what I could do to buy

her time. Was it possible? What would it

take? Was it unrealistic to give her a sense

o hope? I worried during the rest o the

evening and night. I arranged or her to see

a surgical oncologist as well as a medical

oncologist the next morning. She arrived

with her husband in the clinic. Her baby

was being taken care o by her mother at

home. She walked toward me and I put myarms out to embrace her, being as careul

as I could to not squeeze her too tight as

to avoid hurting her brittle bones more.

She walked like she was 98 years old. Her

husband looked like a deer caught in a cars

headlightsscared, bewildered, and very

nervous. He was just 28 years old. They had

been married 3 years. This was their frst

child. He acted a bit odd though when he

met me. He pointed at my name badge and

shouted, IS THAT YOUR NAME? I said,

Yes, this is my name on my ID badge. A

ew minutes into the consultation with the

team he turned to me again and said, Is

that YOUR name on the badge? I again

replied that it was. Thirty minutes later

he asked me yet again about my ID badge.

I need to know i that is YOUR name on

your badge. I replied again, Yes, this is

my name. The badge says Lillian Shock-

ney. Thats my legal name. Everyone calls

me Lillie. Please call me Lillie too. Jo, the

patient turned to him and said, Honey, I

told you last night that I called and got con-

nected to this wonderul nurse and she said

that Hopkins could help us so we are here

and they are going to help us. Help me.

Dont you remember? He nodded his head

yes but still stared at my name badge.

We were able to help Jo. We got her

underway with chemotherapy in 48 hours.

Though she understood her prognosis was

poor, she was appreciative o any time that

treatment would aord her. She wanted to

be here as long as possible to raise her new

baby. We set a goal initially o six months.

Once we saw that her disease was respond-

ing to chemo, the goal was changed to 1

year and then 2 years. I saw Jo and her

husband regularly. She even was able to

eventually have a mastectomy and took

a break rom chemo and radiation or 2

months to spend time with her amily and

enjoy being a mother. It was a huge celebra-

tion when her child turned 2a point in

time that rankly none o us thought was

initially achievable.

Her husband called me one evening at

my home. Usually, he would call i there

was a problem, but this time he was call-

ing or a dierent reason. He wanted tothank me or helping his wie and him and

making it possible or his wie to live as

long as she had. He realized that she prob-

ably wouldnt make it to their little girls

next birthday, but he appreciated the time

they had had together and wanted to tell

me a story. He asked i I remembered the

frst time I had met him. I told him that I

remembered him accompanying Jo to the

breast center and that he was very stressed.

He said, Yes, and I kept asking you about

your name badge. I had actually orgotten

that part until he mentioned it to me again.I replied, You were very nervous that day. I

didnt think much about it. He said, Well,

Ive thought a lot about it and want to tell

you a story and hope you wont think that

Im out o my mind. My grandmother lived

with me when I was growing up. She and I

were very close. She was wheelchair bound

since I was a toddler but she never let lie

get her down. She was a remarkable and

Its just not Lillieshumor that the

world needs more of,but we also benetfrom her wisdom

and compassion. InLillies work she serves

women from all otherthe world b helping

them after beingdiagnosed with breast

cancer in whatevercapacit she can.


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loving woman. Even though Jo and I mar-

ried, I still stopped at my parents house

every day on my way home rom work to

see her. Thats how close were. She became

very ill toward the end o Jos pregnancy,

and we knew that she was going to die. Iwas with her that evening at her bedside,

a moment I will never orget. You see that

was beore we knew Jo had cancer, beore

all the bad news came. It was two weeks be-

ore the baby was born. Grandmom said to

me, I wish I could live long enough to see

your baby come into this world. This new

lie that will soon be here. But I cant and I

accept that as Gods decision. But I hope to

return to you as a guardian angel over all

three o you and you wont necessarily know

me by my ace but you will instead know

me by my name. He paused a moment, and

then said, Her name was Lillian. You see,

my wie wasnt calling Johns Hopkins the

day she got connected to you on the phone.

She was calling her mother who lives in a

totally dierent area code than yours and

has a totally dierent phone number. I be-

lieve my grandmother ulflled her promise

to me and connected Jo to you. I shivered

as I heard him describe this to me. No won-

der this young man was so ocused on myname badge when he met me. He had never

shared his grandmothers dying words with

Jo either. The additional irony is that I was

named or my grandmother.

Jo lived another year, passing shortly

ater their daughters third birthday. She

accomplished her goals. She wanted to

survive long enough that her child would

remember her. To this day her little girl

tells her daddy that every morning early

beore sunup she sees her mommys ace,

just her ace, and hears her voice say, Good

morning sunshine! So that tells me that Jo

is serving as a guardian angel over her little

girl now. This gives me a sense o comort

and peace too.

I ever I had a doubt that I was in the

right proession and doing what God

wanted me to be doing, all doubts let my

mind that night. And though the story

sounds ar-etched, it is all true, and I eel

blessed or having been the chosen one to

help this amily. n

* Excerpted

with

permission

from Lillies

book,

Stealing

Second

Base.

Speaker, Author, Thriver

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Breast Cancer Wellness Journal