Chapter 3Building Strong Families

FAMILY CHARACTERISTICSChpt 3.1

Qualities of Strong Families

• Work together to provide for the needs of the family and prepare for children to live in our society

• Spend time together• Share responsibilities• Work together to resolve differences• Listen to each other with an open mind• Allow each other to express opinions and share feelings• Share goals and values• Show appreciation for each other

Functions of the Family

• Meet basic needs• Food, clothing, shelter, health, and safety.• Strong families will also meet emotional and social needs too.• Living in a family teaches sharing and teamwork.• Strong families will also meet intellectual needs

• Prepare children to live in society• Adults teach children what is important to people in their society

using three ways:• Through Example – Showing them how to behave• Through Communication – Telling them how to behave• Through Religious Training – Principals of right and wrong through a

spiritual aspect

Provide Support

• Family members support each other• A support system is needed to keep a family together• Friends, families, and local agencies can all help form a

support system to support families

Form Traditions

• Spending time together is the foundation to building a strong family• A tradition is a custom that is followed over time• Families that form traditions form strong ties with each other• Traditions provide a sense of continuity, understanding, and

appreciation that brings a family together• Traditions provide a family with time together to communicate, heal

from loss, adapt to new events, affirm family values, celebrate, and connect to the past

Types of Traditions

• Celebration Traditions – Activities or events around special occasions• Birthdays, holidays, etc.

• Family Traditions – Events and special activities created to fit a family’s lifestyle• Vacations, family meetings, etc.

• Patterned Family Interactions – Actions centered on daily routines in life• Dinner, bedtime, etc.

Share Values

• Values are the beliefs held by an individual, family, community, or society.

• In a strong family, everyone is committed to one another.• The family is built on shared values• With a strong foundation of shared values, children feel

more at ease.• People who learn trust in the family tend to see the world

as a safe place.

Handle Family Conflict

• When families resolve their conflicts successfully, the whole family is stronger.

• Tips for handling conflicts effectively:• Keep cool• Be an active listener• Use positive body language

Family Structure

• Nuclear Families• Single-Parent Families• Blended Families• Extended Families• Joining Families

Nuclear Families

• A family that includes a mother and father, and at least one child.

• Two parents who help raise the children

Single-Parent Families

• One that includes either a mother or father and at least one child.

• Absent parent may have died or left after a divorce, or the parents may never have married

• Raising a child alone is a demanding job• Many single parents receive help from friends or relatives• If in the case of divorce, the child would live with the

custodial parent, and have visitation with the other parent.

Blended Families

• Formed when a single parent marries another person, who may or may not have children.

• To a child, the parent’s new spouse becomes a step parent.• To the new spouse, the children become step children.• If both spouses have children, they become stepbrothers and

stepsisters.• Parents and children will need time to adjust to one another• Patience, tolerance for different opinions and habits, and a

sense of humor can help families overcome the challenges they face.

Extended Families

• A family that includes a parent or parents, at least one child, and other relatives who live with them.

• Examples: • A grandparent who lives with a nuclear family• An aunt who lives with a single-parent family

Joining a Family

• When a child joins a family through a legal process• Legal guardians – a person who is designated by a legal process to assume

responsibility for raising a child

• Adoption• A legal process in which children enter a family into which they were not

born into

• Foster Care• Foster child - A child that comes from a troubled family or difficult

circumstances and is placed in the temporary care of another person or family• Foster parents care for foster children, giving them a home while their parents

solve their problems, or sometimes until a permanent adoptive home can be found.

• Adults apply to the state government to become licensed foster parents.• They receive payment to help with the expense of caring for the child.

Trends Affecting Families

• Mobility• Many adults move, so families are not as close as they used to be

• Aging Population• There are a larger number of older people living than in the past• Grandparents are now helping raise children, more than ever

• Economic Changes• Many families struggle to make ends meet• Due to this, many families are smaller than ever because of rising costs

• Workplace Changes• Types of jobs are shifting, more unemployment than ever• Growing number of people who work outside of the home

• Technology• Increase efficiency at home and work• Monitoring social networking sites, and setting time limits• Growing need to make sure children are using technology safely and within reasonable

limits

Check for Understanding

• What are two functions of the family?

• Analyze the similarities and differences among the four family structures described.

• Identify three trends that affect families.

PARENTING SKILLSChpt 3.2

Children’s Needs

• Parenting is a learned process that occurs each day• Children’s needs can be grouped into three categories• Physical Needs – • Food, shelter, and clothing

• Emotional and Social Needs• Making sure children feel safe, loved, and cared for• This allows children to learn how to make friends and work with other

people

• Intellectual Needs• Need stimulation and the opportunity to learn about the world and become

educated• Parents and caregivers help prepare children for life as independent adults.

Parenting Styles

• Authoritarian• Children should obey their parents without question• When rules are broken, the parent typically responds quickly and firmly

• Assertive-Democratic• Children have more input into rules and limits at home• When rules are broken, the parent believes children learn best from

accepting the results of their actions or by problem solving together to find an acceptable punishment

• Permissive• Parents give children a wide range of freedom• Children usually set their own rules• Encouraged to think for themselves and not follow trends.• Rule breaking is usually ignored

Guide Children’s Behavior

• Guidance means using firmness and understanding to help children learn how to behave

• Self-discipline is the ability to control one’s one behavior• Conscience is an inner sense of what is right

Be a Role Model

• Children learn best by being shown what to do• They constantly watch those around them and then

imitate the behaviors they see• “Actions speak louder than words”• This applies to all behaviors, not just positive ones

Give Effective Direction

• Be sure you have the child’s attention• Be polite• Use positive statements• Use specific words that they child can understand• Begin with an action verb• Give a limited number of directions at a time• Be clear• Give praise and love

Set Limits

• A way to guide children toward appropriate, safe behavior.

• The following questions can help parents determine limits:• Does the limit allow the child to learn, explore, and grow?• Is the limit fair and appropriate for the child’s age?• Does the limit benefit the child, or is it just for the adult’s

convenience?

Provide Positive Reinforcement

• A response that encourages a particular behavior• Can be used to help change a problem behavior and to

strengthen a good behavior• Be specific• Comment on the behavior as soon as possible• Recognize small steps• Help children take pride in their actions• Tailor the encouragement to the needs of the child• Use positive reinforcement wisely

Deal with Inappropriate Behavior

• All children will misbehave from time to time• A child’s age should shape an adult’s response to

inappropriate behavior• Questions to consider when deciding how to respond to

misbehavior:• Is the expected behavior appropriate, given the child’s age

and development?• Does the child understand that the behavior was wrong?• Did the child do the behavior knowingly and deliberately, or

was it beyond the child’s control?

Negative Reinforcement

• A response aimed at strengthening desired behavior by removing an unpleasant trigger.

• When deciding which method of negative reinforcement to use, parents and other caregivers often find that what works for one child may not be effective for another.

• Ideas:• Natural Consequences – Suffer from the result of their action• Logical Consequences – Something that makes sense, but may not

be the natural consequence• Loss of Privileges – Taking away a privilege as result of a behavior• Time-Out – short period of time in which a child sits away from

other people and the center of the activity

Poor Disciplinary Measures

• Bribing• Making children promise to behave• Shouting or yelling• Shaming or belittling • Threatening to Withhold Love• Exaggerating Consequences

Consistency in Guidance

• Being consistent, or continually the same, is the key to guiding children’s behavior.

• Clearly making rules and applying them in the same way whenever the situation occurs.

• It helps children know what is expected of them• It also lets them know what response to expect from

parents• Extremely important when there is more than one

caregiver

Check for Understanding

• Identify four factors that are part of nurturing

• Explain why it is important to set limits

• List two ways to deal with inappropriate behavior