CJA Sukkos / October 2001

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Every once in a while when reading a bedtime story to the younger children I findmyself in the end wiping a tear from the

corner of my eye and wondering if any of thechildren are really capable of appreciating thedepth of the seemingly simple story, if it is notmeant more for the parents and if we get it either.

One such book reappeared on the bookshelfrecently. It must have been with all the stuff forsukkos 'cause it certainly belongs there. It's called,"The Happiness Box". The plot is something likethis. There's this kid that's never happy with whathe has. He finds things to complain about all day.Whatever he has is not enough or not just rightand all he can find is fault.

One day after his family moves into a beautifulnew house a giant package arrives. It's a washingmachine or some other large appliance and the kidis suffering from existential nausea because it's notfor him. His clever father convinces him that thebox is the real item of desire and it's just for him.It's called "a happiness box" and while inside onemust think only happy thoughts.

This boy accepts the premise of the box and atfirst begrudgingly but later with greater ease is ableto generate happiness producing thoughts such as;"Sometimes my mother makes dinners I like." Andother such affirming statements that put him intoa state of mind that makes him feel rich and full.After a while he's complaining a lot less. Then hebecomes anxious about going to summer campbecause all his possessions need to fit neatly into aduffel bag and he would have to leave "the box" athome. What would become of his state ofhappiness? He then realizes the great truth that thehappiness is not in his box but in his head. Theimportant life lesson is well learned. The childrenare fast asleep but I am more awake.

The simple child's story reminds me a little of abad joke about a fellow who claims his dog is sotalented he can do anything he is commanded todo. The challenge is taken up by a friend whothrows a stick a distance and commands the dog,"Fetch!"

The dog looks up at him and begins his diatribe."All day long people tell me what to do. Roll over!Jump! Go through the fiery hoop! Good dog. Baddog. Sit! Heal. Eat this! Don't eat that! I can't takeit anymore. It's no fun being a dog. I hate it. I wishI were never born! The fellow interrupts the dogand tells him with a sense of outrage, "All I askedyou to do was fetch." The dog answers back withsurprise, "Ohhhhhh! I thought you said "Kvetch".

Sukkos is referred to in our liturgy as "the timeof our happiness". How do we celebrate? We leaveour lovely homes and sit exposed to the elementsin little boxes. We are commanded by the Torah;"and you should rejoice with your holiday and beonly happy!"

Maybe the story is not so simplistic and the jokenot so (as we say in yiddish) "farfetched". It's veryeasy to be focused on what's missing in life; to givespecial recognition to the cruel and heartless; tothe unfinished business of history and history ofbusiness. Even more so these days we need a wayto regain a sense of optimism. How about 7 daysin "a happiness box" to see what's right in G-d'sworld. Hearing clearly the commandment as it ispronounced is a critical point. No where does itsay, "kvetch"!

We all know how we can feel sometimes and howit creates a contagion of negativity. Therefore wehung two signs in our sukkah. One upon enteringreads, "You are entering a no kvetching zone". Theother posted prominently reads, "Don't even thinkof kvetching in the sukkah!" The Vilna Gaoncalled this the hardest mitzvah in the Torah tofulfill. So, don't expect it to happen with a simplestory, a bad joke, by reciting an imperative verse,or by hanging a humorous sign but it sure is a goodbeginning.

The Happiness BoxBy Label Lam www.torah.org




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Our Rabbis tell us that the holiday ofSuccos, the “holiday of our joy” is, in reality,a celebration of the gift of Yom Kippur. Theincredible experience of reconnection, theidea that I can undo the damage and pulldown the barriers that I erected betweenmyself and Hashem, is an idea over which onemust rejoice. I can go home again, wipe theslate clean, start over, and believe, reallybelieve, that G-d has forgiven me. Succos isthe declaration of that belief, rejoicing to-gether with Hashem, a time of prayer, song,and dance. A time of eating, sleeping, andspending time, in the quiet embrace ofHashem’s Succah, leaving our homes andmoving into His home, a space of holinessand intimate connection with the Shechinah.

It struck me that what we’re reallycelebrating is the relationship, and the YomKippur process which allows the relationshipto remain strong. Repentance, and forgiveness,repairing the damage we’ve done over thecourse of the year. What about the otherrelationships in our life? We know that weoften take them for granted. The child whonotices that guests in her home get the “royaltreatment”, the special smile, and lots ofattention, while she feels invisible. Or thespouse who feels that his or her partner in lifehas no time to invest in the marriage, butlimitless time to help out a friend, or devote toa community project.

Nothing tests us more than the love rela-tionships in our life. No one can push ourbuttons more than those closest to us. Whenwe love someone we hand that person ourheart and with that we also hand him/ her the

power to hurt us, really hurt us. And when wefeel hurt, we often wish to strike back,continuing the cycle of pain and destruction.Whether it’s a spouse, child, parent, sibling, orany other close relative or dear friend, thestronger the love, the deeper the potentialpain. It takes tremendous commitment anddetermination to be careful, so very careful,of the feelings of the ones we love.

Celebrating a relationship means recogniz-ing its importance, giving thought to the giftof having this person in my life, feeling thehappiness that that brings, and communicat-ing those thoughts and feelings to the other.And just as Succos follows Yom Kippur, thetrue experience of this joy is most felt andbest expressed after we do the repair work.Healing the pain we’ve caused others with ourwords or actions takes much effort andcourage. The steps on the road back include:a) taking responsibility, genuinely owning thehurtful action, b) showing remorse,c) apologizing sincerely, without blaming theother, and d) committing to be more careful inthe future. Time is often needed in the re-covery as well, perhaps as little as a few min-utes, a few hours, or even longer.

And don’t forget to celebrate, rejoicing in allour relationships. The Succah calls to us, toappreciate all the people in our life, even themost challenging ones, to hold those dear tous, as Hashem holds each of us always.

Dr. Lob is a clinical psychologist in private practice inChicago, working with adults, adolescents, and families, formany years. He lectures and writes extensively on topics re-lating to psychology, relationships, parenting, education, andJewish thought.

THE SUCCAH CALLS TO US

By Rabbi Dr. Jerry Lob


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Sauce:1 cup chicken stock1/4 cup margarine, melted1/4 cup of flour1 cup pareve milkSalt and pepper

Additional Ingredients:1 pkg. chicken or leftover chicken1 pkg. frozen chopped spinach1 large onion, dicedmargarine1 6oz jar mushrooms1 pkg. puff pastry

Sauce: Melt margarine; add flour and milkvery slowly, making roux (white sauce) bymixing constantly. Add chicken stockslowly until thick, then salt and pepper. Set aside.

Brown chicken and cut into cubes. Sauteonions and mushrooms in margarine untilsoft. Roll out the puff pastry into two longand thin rectangles. Brush with meltedmargarine. In center of pastry, layerchicken, sauce, onion, mushrooms, andspinach. Fold together sides and pinch.Brush with melted margarine and turn over.

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Ingredients Directions

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Rabbi Shmuel passed away and is now standing in aline of people waiting to find out whether they are goingto heaven - a line containing, among others, the righteous,academics, religious leaders, and the virtuous. As RabbiShmuel looks around, he sees an angel talking withrespect to a rather rough looking man. The angel thenleads this man to the front of the line.

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Get your kashrus questions answered here! Email [email protected]

Soup to Nuts Your kashrus Questions. . . Answered

Written by Rabbi Dovid CohenA service of the Chicago Rabbinical Council2701 West Howard | 773-465-3900

CORKSCREW

Q. Can I use a corkscrewwhich had previously been usedto open a bottle of non-kosherwine?

A. Yes, just rinse the corkscrewoff and it can then be used forkosher wine. NEW OVEN RACKS

Q. We just purchased a newoven. The instructions said thatthe racks were coated with a veg-etable oil. Does this pose anykashrus problem?

A. In recent years it has be-come common for oven racks tobe coated before they are shippedto consumers. Since we cannotconfirm the kosher status of theoils used in that process, we rec-ommend that you kasher theracks before you use them for thefirst time. In this case, the kash-ering is quite simple – just turnthe oven on to 550° F and leave itat that temperature for one hour.CHAMPAGNE LIMESTONE FILTERING

Q. My father in law pointedout that a bottle of vodkadescribes how they run the vodkathrough “Champagne Lime-stone”. While it sounds innocent,if that really indicates alcohol fil-tering through any kind of wine(Champagne) that would be veryproblematic from a kashrusstandpoint. Can you find outwhat that really is so I can knowwhether I can serve it at my son’sBar Mitzvah?

A. Champagne is the name of

a region in France which isfamous for its wine products.The earth in that area – as inother areas of France – has ahigher than usual concentrationof chalk, limestone and clay thanother parts of the world, andthere are those who theorize thatthat is with why the grapes thatgrow in that region have a uniquetaste. Some companies believethat filtering their water withlimestone from that area ofFrance improves the flavor of thefinished product.

While we have no opinion as towhether that claim is justified, wecan confirm that that type offiltering does not pose anykashrus concern.COFFEE MACHINE

ON TIMER

Q. Is it possible to use acoffeemaker with a timer onShabbos? One of our weddinggifts was a coffeemaker with abuilt-in timer. Obviously, thisassumes that everything has beenprepared Erev Shabbos and thatthe built-in timer brews thecoffee Shabbos morning.

A. Rav Schwartz said that weshould follow the ruling of TzitzEliezer 2:6 who prohibits thispractice.INSTANT OATMEAL

Q. Is instant oatmeal fullycooked? Can one make it onShabbos?

A. The reason “instant”oatmeal can be prepared withouta long cooking process is notbecause they are cooked at the

company but rather because thecompany cuts the oats a bit finerand rolls them somewhat thinnerso that they’ll cook more easily.Accordingly, one may not prepareinstant oatmeal (or any other kindof oatmeal) on Shabbos.KOSHER ALERTS

Irish Crème flavored Coffeegrounds produced by ChicagoCoffee Roastery, Huntley, IL, wasmistakenly produced with a dairyingredient, and should be treated askosher dairy (Cholov Stam).Product made after Sept. 4th iskosher pareve.

The "Gummi" products made bySuperior Sensations (Chicago, IL)listed bellow bear an unauthorizedcRc. The products are not kosherand are being recalled. GummiBears, Gummi Worms, Sour BriteWorms. If you see any "Gummi"or "Worm" products bearing thecRc on the label, please contact thecRc office at 773-465-3900 [email protected].

Contrary to posted signs in theirstore, the cRc does not certify theScoops Ice Cream Shop in LakeGeneva, Wisconsin. Only thesestores at the listed addresses arepresently certified by the cRc: BagelCountry, 9306 Skokie Blvd, Skokie.Chocolate Shoppe Ice Cream, 4041W. Dempster, Skokie, Dairy Star,3472 W Devon, Lincolnwood,Dunkin Donuts/Baskin Robbins,3132 Devon, Chicago, Illinois, Nut,3745 W Dempster, Skokie,

Dean's Sour Cream Light by PetO’Fallon, LLC, (O’Fallon, IL) bearsan unauthorized OV-D symbol onthe label. This product is NOTcertified by the OV. Correctivemeasures are being taken.


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CJA Sukkos / October 2001