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Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 1
COMMUNICATIONS
1. Nature
2. Process
3. Interpersonal
Relations
4. Transactional
Analysis
5. Organizational
Communication
By: Kashif Nawaz Jakhar
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 2
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 3
COMMUNICATION -NATURE
Communication is a process by which an idea is transferred
from a source to a receiver with the intention of changing
his behaviour.(interpersonal situations)
It is a mutual exchange of facts , thoughts or perceptions
leading to a common understanding of all parties. It does
not imply agreement.(encompasses organizational
communication.)
Intrapersonal communication-the reasoning, analysis or
debate that a person carries out within its own mind .
NATURE
Communication is Perception- is highly personal and has a
large component of emotions ,values and needs of
individual.Effectiveness of communication thus is limited
to the range of perception of the recipient.
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 4
• Communication is Expectation – people perceive only
what they expect to-depending upon their own needs,
values, motives, background or even the situational
context.The unexpected is ignored or misunderstood.
• Communication makes Demand- are in terms of
emotional selection, preferences or rejection on part of the
receiver.It has been scientifically established that the
words with pleasant association are retained easier and
longer in a persons memory than otherwise.
• Communication differs from Information- logic
characterizes information, which is also formal and
impersonal in nature.(perception)Information infact
presupposes communication, because, unless the latter
takes place, the former is of no use to anybody.
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 5
CHANNELS OF COMMUNICATION
VOCAL NON-VOCAL
VERBAL SPOKEN WORDS WRITTEN
WORDS
NON-
VERBAL
SIGH FACIAL
EXPRESSION
GRUNT POSTURE
GESTURE
INFLECTION SPATIAL
RELATIONSHIP
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 6
Three sub sciences
• Kinesics
• Proxemics
• Paralinguistic
Have emerged as substantial contributors to the art of
communication.
• Kinesics- is dynamics or movement aspect of NVC as related
to gestures,head nods,facial expressions eye movements and the
like.
• Proxemics- deals with roles of bodily contact,physical
proximity and body orientation
• Paralinguistic-deals with the non linguistics aspect of speech-
pitch, pauses, modulation ,etc.
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 7
Communication-Process
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 8
COMMUNICATIVE LANGUAGE PROCESSES
To act as a speaker,writer,listener or reader,the
learner must be able to act out a sequence of
skilled actions.
To speak , the learner must be able to :
• Plan and organize a message (cognitive skills);
• Formulate a linguistic utterance (linguistic skills);
• Articulate the utterance (phonetic skills);
To write , the learner must be able to :
• Organize and formulate the message (cognitive
and linguistic skills);
• Hand-write or type the text (manual skills)
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 9
To listen , the learner must be able to:
• Perceive the utterance (auditory phonetic skills);
• Identify the linguistic message (linguistic skills);
• Understand the message (semantic skills);
• Interpret the message (cognitive skills);
To read , the reader must be able to:
• Perceive the written text (visual skills);
• Recognize the script (orthographic skills);
• Identify the message (cognitive skills).
• Understand the message (semantic skills);
• Interpret the message (cognitive skills).
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 10
COMMUNICATION PROCESS
SOURCEENCODING MESSAGE DECODING
RECEIVERFEEDBACK
Ideas Info
Intentions
and Purpose
Necessity of using
words, symbols or
forms in a precise
manner
Its final shape and
form depends on
the channel
selected and the
speed
Interpreting message in
terms of background
experience and
expectation
Understood and acted
in the light of it
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 11
COMMMUNATING EFFECTIVELY
Regardless of your job title or the type of organization or industry you work for ,your job requires being able to effectively interact with others-staff, peers, and bosses.
Internal customers: fellow employees, inside and outside the department where you work,to whom you provide services or assistance.
External customers: people outside your organization who need the product and services, suppliers ,investors.
• The goal of the communication process is mutual
understanding.
• Interpersonal communication involves senders and
receivers.Take turns being senders and
receivers,otherwise the tension mounts as the tug-of-
war goes on.
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 12
The ways that help to achieve the goal of
mutual understanding are :
• ASSERTIVE SPEAKING - or the act of
expressing yourself directly,positively and
with confidence,so that your point comes
across clearly and you maintain respect
towards others.
• ACTIVE LISTENING - or the act of
providing non-verbal and verbal feedback to
a speaker that allows his or her message to
be expressed and shows understanding of
the message.
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 13
Barriers to communication
INITIATION OF MESSAGE
Different personalities of sender and receiver
Different perceptions of sender and receiver
Receiver evaluates credibility of sender
Words have different meaning
Receiver hears what he wants to hear
Code not understood
Noise
Distorted message
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 14
HOLDING ASSUMPTIONS
The problem with assumptions is that they can lead to
mistakes, misunderstandings, and strained relationships.
Jumping to conclusions
Finishing people‟s sentences
Interrupting
Tuning out
Dismissing new ideas
Focusing on intentions: focusing on intentions instead of
actions sometimes causes you to interpret inconsequential
actions as destructive or of ill will.
Thinking you know best: making decisions for someone
else without first checking with the person who is affected
directly by what you do. Save such surprises for birthdays.
Stereotyping: shows your ignorance.
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 15
Deal with each other as an individual
Listen first
Avoid generalizations
Communicate first ; act second
Make the safest assumptions of them all: assume that the
other person means well. This assumption allows you to
see and deal with the actions and ideas of others at face
value.
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 16
FOUR APPROACHES TO SPEAKING1. MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY: THE AGGRESSIVE
APPROACH
“You must…”
“Because I said so”
“You idiot!”
“You always/never….”
“Who screwed this up?”
There is nothing subtle to the aggressive approach. The following
are the common behaviours :
Blaming, accusing
Intimidating body language
Demanding, ordering
Raised voice
Harsh, personal language
Verbal browbeating
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 17
2. THE APPEASING WAY: THE NON ASSERTIVE
APPROACH
“Uh…..if that‟s the way you want to do it….um, that‟s fine
with me.”
“I don‟t know if I could do that.”
“I‟ll talk to him soon about that problem; I‟ve been really
busy.”
“I am sorry to ask you.”
“I hate to bother you.”
“Maybe that‟s a good idea”
Behaviours:
Soft voice
Overly agreeable, no point of view expressed
Avoidance
Withdrawn body language
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 18
Sounding unsure
Beating around the bush
Sounding hopeless and helpless
3. SUBTLE BUT AGGRAVATING: THE PASSIVE -
AGGRESSIVE APPROACH
“I knew that wouldn‟t work.”
“If that‟s the way you want it…..”
“How could you even think of that?”
“When was the last time you helped me?”
“The problem with Joe is….”
Behaviours:
Appears to agree but really does not agree
Tells others but not the source of concern
Makes subtle digs and sarcastic remarks
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 19
Keeps score and sets conditions
Nonverbal message contradicts the verbal massage
Holds back expressing concern or providing assistance
Criticizes after the the fact
4. STRAIGHT AND POSITIVE: THE ASSERTIVE
APPROACH
“Yes that was my mistake.”
“As I understand your point…..”
“Let me explain why I disagree with that point.”
“Let‟s define the issue and then explore some options to
help resolve it.”
“Please hear me out and then work with me to resolve my
concern.”
Behaviours:
Takes responsibility
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 20
Listens actively
Takes initiative
Speaks up, is direct and constructive
Shows sincerity
Is solution focused
Assumes confident voice and body language
Addresses concerns directly to the source
Requests needs
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 21
DO NOT CONFUSE AGGRESSIVE FOR
ASSERTIVE
AGGRESSIVE
Blunt
In conflict situations, a
harsh in tone
In conflict situations,
blame and browbeat the
other person
Push your own way
One way conversation
flow
ASSERTIVE
Direct
In conflict situations, a
firm tone
In conflict situations,
collaborate on the
solutions
Speak up, yet hear what
the others have to say
Two way conversation
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 22
POSITIVE IMPACT OF POSITIVE
LISTENING
Accentuate the positives
How do you feel when someone really listens to you?
Respected
Cared for
That you‟ve gained rapport
Rewarded
Satisfied
Sense of achievement
Positive feelings:
Increased productivity
Stronger working relationship
Better quality of work
Greater customer satisfaction
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 23
Repeat business
Easier and better problem solving
Greater cooperation and team work
Less stress
Listening is a powerful means of communication that can increase your effectiveness on the job.
THE THREE STAGES OF THE LISTENING PROCESS
Stage one - receiving: you take in the speakers message through your senses, hearing and seeing.
Stage two - processing: this activity takes place in your mind and involves analyzing, evaluating, and synthesizing. Great deal of concentration is needed. “What does the speaker mean?”
Stage three - responding: the speaker sees and hears what the listener does. The speaker feels respected and understood by the listener, connection is made and productivity goes up.
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 24
PUT A POSITIVE SPIN IN THE MESSAGE
• Make something sound better than it is: combine tact and
clarity. “This decision by the management is really a good
one for you . Remember our jobs are about adapting to
change and keeping this business moving forward . If you
keep this in mind , the new strategies will work just fine.”
• Emphasize what you can do instead of what you can‟t. “I
will help you”,
• “I will ensure your problems are resolved”.
• “Based on a few other matters I need to handle now, I can
take care of your issue by the end of the day”
• “I can give you a status on that item by the end of
tomorrow. I first need to check on what happened with it.”
• “I can give you an update in two days. I‟ll know more
about where that issue stands then.”
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 25
AVOID LANGUAGE THAT DWELLS ON PROBLEM
• “Whose fault is this?”
• “You‟re wrong about what happened.”
• “You never help when I need you.”
• “Why can‟t you get this right ?”
• “Why are you causing such problems here ?”
USING LANGUAGE THAT FOCUSES ON SOLUTIONS
• Option: “Let‟s explore some options for resolving this
situation.”
• Idea: “I have an idea that can help solve this problem.”
• Recommendation: “Here‟s what I recommend we do.”
• Suggestion: “May I offer you a suggestion or two on handling
that challenge?”
• Solution: “Let‟s take a look at some possible solutions that can
help us.”
• Proposal: “I have a proposal that can help resolve this issue.”
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 26
Interpersonal communication
• The goal of communication process is mutual
understanding (no small feat) .Communication
involves senders and receivers.They may have
differences , but differences aren‟t an excuse to
have a tug - of-war ; rather differences are issues
to work through to reach the desired outcome.
• Lack of trust , deceit , self centeredness , non -
cooperation , unhappy atmosphere and the like
have the beginning in distortion or breakdown of
interpersonal communication.
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 27
Components of interpersonal communication
• Perception of self-social self,material self and
spiritual self.
• Person perception-filters we tend to apply to our
behaviour when relating to others.
Complexities in relationship
• Self fulfilling Prophecy
• Spirals
• Paradoxes
• Congruence between being and seeming
• Empathy
• Positive regard
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 28
There is a scientific basis to understand the dynamics of
communication.Joseph Luft Harry Ingham, behavioural
scientists,have developed a model of social interaction
known as Johari Window which facilitates understanding
of the basis of interpersonal communication that in turn
determines the quality of relationship.
This model in a very condensed form states the fact that we
as individuals consciously know some of our strengths and
weaknesses,but are not aware of certain others. Similarly,
other people become aware of our positive qualities and
shortcomings through the type of relationship we develop
with them.
Interpersonal styles and relationship
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 29
ArenaBlind
Spot
Facade Unknown
Known
to self
Unknown
to self
Feed Back
Known
to
Others
Unknown
to
Others
E
X
P
O
S
U
R
E
Communication – Johari Window Model
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 30
IT ISN’T JUST WHAT YOU SAY BUT
HOW YOU SAY IT
What you say is important, but how you say it often carries
more weight
Most people haven‟t been taught how to truly listen; therefore,
you can‟t count on them to listen fully and effectively when
you speak to them
Make steady eye contact
Maintain eye contact
Look in the right places
Posture
Facial expressions-tells all or nothing at all
Gestures-use in unison with your speech
Project your voice- vary speed and pitch
Show inflection in your voice
Display sincerity in your tone
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 31
Enunciate your words clearly
Insert pauses occasionally in your message
Match your pace with your listener‟s pace of speaking
AVOID:
Staring and glaring
Looking away and all round
Darting glances
Blinking excessively
Focusing on one person, not everyone
Glazing over
Slouching
Invading space
Hovering over the listener
Looking blank
Looking stern
Folding your arms
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 32
Transactional analysis
• Transactional analysis can be distinctly divided into the following types of analysis:
• Structural Analysis: it covers the individuals personality,his mental make up-the frame work which forms the basis of his behaviour.
• Transactional analysis: this refers to the analysis of what people say and do to each other or analyzing transaction.
• Games analysis: this pertains to analysis of situation where people respectively engage in a pattern of behaviour of saying or acting one thing but implying something different and deriving a psychological pay off from these transaction.
• Script analysis: this relates to analysis of life dramas or roles which are determined for us by early developmental process, which we later keep playing more or less compulsively.
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 33
Transactional Analysis
Dr. Eric Berne ,a clinical psychologist , helps us in understanding the perspective of human behaviour and that makes the process of communicating smooth and productive. Dr.Berne has identified the basic unit of social interaction as „Transaction‟.
• When two persons encounter each other ,they provide a stimulus and receive a response –termed as „Transaction‟.
• Each person is composed of three different kinds of constituents –PARENT, ADULT and CHILD EGO STATES. Transactional Analysis is the method of analyzing these transactions to identify which constituent of one individual activates which one other.
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 34
• Structural Analysis:is a method of analysing a person‟s thoughts, feelings,and behaviour based on the phenomenon of ego states.
• An Ego State: a consistent pattern of feeling and experience which is directly related to a consistent pattern of behaviour can be defined as an ego state.e.g. from a punishing boss he becomes a cajoling subordinate
• Parent Ego State:the unquestioned recordings made in early childhood of the messages received from elders.
• Child Ego State : manifests itself in feelings of joy, frustration,rejection,playful ,manipulative,etc.
• Adult Ego State: starts functioning when the child‟s mind starts processing the data from the parent and the child ego states and tests it against reality to make its decision.It relates to objective information and data gathering ,and rational decision making or problem solving based on the data available.
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 35
ANALYSING TRANSACTION:
A- Have you finished the job?
A- No Sir, there is little bit left.
P- No excuses. Get the job done quickly.
C (showing fear)-Yes Sir.
C- I feel like flinging these papers out.
A- You mean things are a bit tough here?
Take a break!
P
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 36
• CROSSED TRANSACTION
A- What time is it ?
C -You better buy a good watch…
P- You behaved terribly today.
P- Were you any better?
C- I will go and play table tennis today.
P- Can‟t you be ever serious about studies.
A
C
P P
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 37
• ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS
A(P)- Your team can accomplish the task if properly supervised.
A complex transaction where more than two ego states are involved in the stimulus or response itself.
Adult ego state is normally the last to develop and tends to lag behind generally even in later life.parent or child tend to respond automatically when a stimulus is received.it is desirable therefore ,to remain in the adult ego as often as possible to avoid frustration resulting from crossed transaction.
P
A
C
P
A
C
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 38
GAMES ANALYSIS
• A psychological game has been defined as a recurring set of transaction ,often repetitive,superficially rational,leading to a pay off.
• Games are played from all ego states, but the adult ones are most calculative in nature.They are played either to fill time , to reaffirm life positions, to draw attention or to enact a pre-determined life drama.e.g..KICK ME “I have messed up things again ,sir”The pay off is a negative stroke.That is the food of his psychological being.
• Now I got you SOB-The initiator plays the game from the parent ego state and the subordinate is generally manipulated into doing something wrong.
• The need for filling time, is satisfied through playing games which can be destructive to a varying degree. Certain amount of game playing cannot be avoided, but excessive indulgence can result in tragedy.
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 39
We should avoid getting involved in game
playing by adopting the following measures:
Be alert to stimuli which are likely to result in
game playing.
Refusing to play complementary parts in games.
Increase involvement in fruitful activities.
Develop more open and intimate relationship with
people.
Have positive regard for others and accept them
for what they are.
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 40
Script Analysis
Shakespeare says:
• All the world‟s a stage.
• All men and women are merely players.
• They have their exit and entrances
• Each man in his time plays many parts.
• This symbolises the concept of script which gets embedded in our psyche in the early years of our life,and plays the role of –hero, persecutor,victim or rescuer.
• Consider this: We Americans love our freedom‟.
• We Rajputs will rather die in battle than be taken prisoner.
• In our company ,if two of us take a bet,only one checks up;
• The other takes his word for it.
• These are samples of national character,racial ethos and organisational
• Culture which become scripts and determine how each player should enact his part.
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 41
Organisational Communication
• In an organisation ,groups, departments,branches and
services,tend to develop philosophies,strategies,tactics,and
views of their own which promote, sustain,and protect
their special interests. At times ,these may sub-optimise the
organisational goal thus creating conflict situations
• The two channels of communication are:
• Formal Structure Informal Structure
Organisational chart
Job description
Regulations
Rumours
Grapevine
Work group loyalties
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 42
Distortions in organizational communications
• Chain of command .
• Information hoarding.
• Specialization.
• Sycophancy
• Staff screen
• Feed back- Lack of it and Lack of cognizance.
Breakdown of information:
• Division to brigade- On no account must hamlets be burned down (written order)
• Brigade to battalion- Do not burn down any hamlets unless you are absolutely convinced that Vietcongs are in them.(on radio)
• Battalion to company- If you think there are any Vietcongs in the hamlets ,burn them down.(on radio)
• Company commander to troops - Burn down the hamlets! (verbal order)
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 43
Mass communication
Effectiveness of mass communication
• Com.eff = F(message x situation x personality x group norms)
• Effective communication has been described as a function of above factors.
How to reach the individual?
• Fraction of selection = Expectation of Reward Effort Required
In order to increase the receptivity of an individual ,the communicator can resort to :
• Increase the receiver‟s expectation of reward.This pertains to what is his expectation of gain from grasping your message.
• Reduce the effort required for him to grasp.
Feedback: will always get feedback in one form or the other, direct or indirect.
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 44
ENHANCE TEAMWORK
To enhance effectiveness in teamwork for productivity and unity:
• Make newcomers feel welcome: new members need to go through the learning curve and need to pay attention to the dynamic among all members of the team.Ask others to help in showing new person the ropes.
• Keep information flowing : think of the flow of information as a loop.By opening and closing the loop, you keep the flow moving.CLOSING THE LOOP :Following through and getting back to others, informing them of what happened or what you found out about an issue.OPENING THE LOOP : Taking the initiative to let others know something in advance, or passing on information that is helpful for them to know-without being asked.
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 45
• Teach so that others can learn : Part of what often is needed in teams often involves cross-training or showing team members how to do certain tasks.Explain the process step by step,be receptive to questions ,answer them clearly and directly.
• Offer assistance: “ I can help you get that assignment done,if you‟d like ”. Speak the language of a valuable team player. People want to know they can count on you.
• Ask for help: Asking questions is a sign of interest and assertiveness, not of stupidity.
• Speak up in meetings : The more you get involved in team situations, the more you are asked to attend team meetings.
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 46
• Talk in terms of outcomes : Make outcomes the focus of these discussions.Ask “ what goals are to be met ”,
“ what results do we need to accomplish,” “ what customer needs do we need to meet ”. The outcome needs are often lost in the debate over “ your way versus my way ”.
• Give feed back supportively : Doing so enhances teamwork,it opens up honest communication.Describe your observations based on action,not subjective commentary.Give feedback to recognize good performances.
• Take problems to the right source: As a team deal with them collectively.
• Maintain a sense of humor : An effective team is people laughing with each other.eases the stresses that come with the job.
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 47
Actions That Lend Credibility To Your
Communications
• You can’t buy credibility ; it can only be earned.
• Credibility means having others find you are believable,
trustworthy and deserving of respect.
• Following Through : Do what you agreed to do,and get it
done by that time.Forgetfulness and disorganization aren‟t
acceptable for lack of follow through.Consistency of
actions supporting words breeds credibility.
• Returning Phone Calls : Responsiveness builds
credibility.
• Being Passionate : Passion is about having interest and
enthusiasm and puts emotion into your message. “Allow
yourself to be emotional enough to provide conviction, but
not overly emotional to lose credibility.” Sara Nelson.
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 48
• Demonstrating Expertise: Be knowledgeable. Know your
stuff and share with others. When others come to you for
service or assistance, they want your expertise to come out in
the interaction.
• Disagreeing Without Being Disagreeable : Disagree with
ideas and thoughts and make that the focus of what you have
to say .Avoid treating opinions as right or wrong.
• Staying Calm under Pressure:Deal with stress without
getting stressed out.Listen and communicate
constructively.Do venting privately.Inflame and distress
others ,when you show your stress.
• Taking Positive Approaches To Problems : Problems are a
part of all jobs.Much of what you are getting paid for has to
do with fixing problems.Let people know they will not be
shot or tarred and feathered for the problem focus on
solutions. Become a positive problem solver.
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 49
• Listening First ,Acting Second :Making snap judgments,
jumping to conclusions ,and reacting before gathering all the
facts don‟t inspire confidence from others.
• Showing Sincerity :is a quality of coming across as genuine
and honest.Have good intentions matched by your tone of
voice.
• Being Straightforward : means being direct ,candid,and clear.
• Direct : “ The numbers on page 4 of your report do not add up
correctly”
• Blunt : „The numbers on this report are all screwed up and
show you nothing about using data.‟
Being clear, respectful, and forthright in your communications are
universally appreciated.do it consistently,you definitely have
credibility.
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 50
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 51
CONVERSATION
MUTUAL EXCHANGE OF
IDEAS AND THOUGHTS
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 52
CONVERSATION SKILLS
• MAGIC KEY TO PERSONAL AND
SOCIAL POPULARITY
• BUSINESS MEETINGS PAY OFF
• EXPRESS YOUR POTENTIAL
• KNOW A SENSE OF PERSONAL
HAPPINESS
• DEVELOP NEW FRIENDSHIPS
• STRENGTHEN OLD ONES
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 53
BEING A GOOD LISTENER
WILL MAKE YOU A
WINNER
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 54
INITIATE
CONVERSATION
• ASK QUESTIONS
• MAKE A STATEMENT
FOLLOWED BY A QUESTION ON:
the party, food,weather, current
news, books, movies or pay a
compliment
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 55
WITH ONE PERSON
Provide a topic that:
• Appeals to his interest
• Leads to discussing his hobby
• Gets him talking about his job
• Pays a compliment to him
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 56
IN A GROUP:
SPARK A DISCUSSION ON A
SUBJECT THAT INTERESTS
MANY PRESENT :
• a hobby/ interest that the group has
in common
• a spectator experience you’ve
shares together
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 57
WATCH YOUR
REACTIONS
• BE PLEASANT
• BE CHEERFUL
• BE SINCERE
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 58
CONVERSATION MEANS
GIVE AND TAKE AND
NOT SIMPLY ASKING
QUESTIONS
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 59
RID YOURSELF OF
INHIBITION/ SHYNESS
• THINK OBJECTIVELY ABOUT
THE PROBLEM, NOT
SUBJECTIVELY ABOUT
YOURSELF
• PUT THE NEEDS OF OTHERS
FIRST
Kashif Nawaz Jakhar Cell no. 0331-4791167 60
COMMUNICATE
CLEARLY
• ENGAGE MIND BEFORE STARTING
TONGUE
•SIMPLICITY IMPROVES EFFECTIVENESS
•DON’T GET EMOTIONAL
•USE SPECIFIC AND NOT GENERAL WORDS
•AIM FOR A MORE ANIMATED
COVERSATION
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BUILD A RESERVOIR OF
KNOWLEDGE AND
CULTIVATE INTERESTS
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USE A GENERALIST AND
SPECIALIST APPROACH
•READ BOOKS, PAPERS, MAGAZINES
•RECALL MOVIES, TV SHOWS
•KNOW YOUR ENVIRONMENT,
GEOGRAPHICAL AREA
•KNOW YOUR JOB, YOUR COMPANY
AND ITS PRODUCT/ SERVICE
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DON’T
•MONOPOLISE
•BE GARRULOUS
•BE INSULTING & ABUSIVE
•AIR DIFFERENCES
•TALK OF MUNDANE TOPICS
CONTD
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•TALK OF ILLNESS & MISFORTUNE
•GOSSIP
•INTERRUPT
•FINISH SENTENCES
•SNATCH STORY
DON’T
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VOICE MODULATION
SPEECH BLEMISHES & HOW TO DETECT THEM
MIRROR
• Are you using your hands too much?
• Are you tense, aloof, stiff, talking without moving your lips? Forcing your voice? Making faces while talking?
TAPE RECORDER
• Helps you to hear exactly as you sound. You can detect your defects and shortcomings. You can use it to review your ideas aloud, to edit, practice speech/presentations before interviews.
VIDEO RECORDER
• This is a combination of mirror & tape recorder. Helps to see as well as hear.
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• NOSE TALKER
• When you talk through your nose, you twang. Clasp your nose between thumb and forefingers and say “ Mona sang seventeen songs & swooned” Your fingers pick up the vibration caused in your nose by “M”, “N” and “NG” The three legitimate sounds in our language.
• The voice finds its way through the nose if your mouth does not open enough when you talk.
• There should be at least half an inch gap between your teeth when you talk. Nasal speakers speak with their teeth close – worse are those who speak with their lips closed.
• For persuasive and impressive speech bring your resonance from your chest and not your nose.
• The clenched jaw speaker emanates tenseness & strain. Tightness in the voice creates the impression you are holding back.
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Strident
• Do you talk that way even when you are not angry?
• Neck looks taut, veins and cords stand out like ropes. Muscles around
the chin are tight to the eye and touch.
The Unfocussed Speaker
• Sounds weary & depressed.
• Lacks vitality, vigor, energy, enthusiasm & intensity.
Whisperer
• When you fail to project because of improper breath support.
• Whispering is for telling secrets. Whisper is a ghost of a sound from
which tone and resonance are missing.
A Fader
• One whose voice comes and goes. Starts on a strong note but fades
into silence.
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Fog Horn
• Because of faulty breath support leading to strain.
Unsupported voice is like climbing a hill in high gear. It
moves slower , jerks and finally stalls altogether..
Lazy lips
• A person whose lips do not move enough. Fails to project,
runs whole words together sometimes omitting whole
syllables.
Colour Gray
• Average voice scales 12 to 20 notes. A professional singer
or actor reaches 36.. A bad speaker hits 5 notes. This is
the voice like a tap with a faulty washer – it goes drip drip
drip – the kind of voice that puts people to sleep.
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• No variety, no pitch, no colour. To check your voice for
drabness read from a newspaper and check your speech for
pitch and pacing.
Does your speedometer need adjusting
• Talking fast makes the audience breathless and talking
slowly puts him to sleep!
• We should average between 120 to 160 wpm. We read
faster than we talk. Rate should never be constant. Thought
and emotion alter pacing. Pause for effect. Chance in
tempo provides variety.
Speech tics
• “You knows”, “:That is”, “um” and “I believes” Also
called padding. Unattractive and irritating.
• Don‟t upstage with visual detractors .
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Eye Clasp
• Like a handclasp – establishes link with human being
Tells you audience reaction.
Improve your voice
• Proper breath support is the foundation of a good voice.
• The way you exhale is what counts.
• Project your voice, don‟t shout.
• Don‟t let your voice sound older than you are
• Make your lips lively, not lazy
• Be a low pitcher
• Be a smooth talker.