Community Links Issue 136

J u l y 3 1 - A u g u s t 1 4 , 2 0 0 9 V o l . 5 I s s u e 1 3 6 y”xa, ceg-ibj,tu ,arp

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8

FeaturesJuly 31, 2009

12 16The Never Ending VoiceRevolutions may come and go but revelation iseternal. The voice of Sinai continues to pro-claim eternal truths that never become passé or

Parshas VaEtchananRabbi Yossy Goldman

Advice for OverdoersFortunately the cure is not a drug or an opera-tion: it's dedicated long-term improved self-care- physical, mental and spiritual.

Alice Bacchini

When Those Who Should HelpActually Cause HarmIf you treat a condition in the same manner that85 to 90 percent of the cases are treated withthat condition, you are likely to have success. So,why take the time to think and individualize thetreatment for the actual problem?

Dr. Robert J. Rome Ph.D

The Search For HappinessIs this my ego speaking or is it my Divine soultrying to understand why some of us are driversand others are being driven?

www.meaningfullife.com

community links • Volume 5 Issue 136

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Robert J. Rome, Ph.D

When Those Who ShouldHelp Actually Cause Harm


Did you ever go to someone to have something re-paired and that thing that should have been fixedends up with even more problems? Within the new

age of computer technicians and “by the book” medicalproviders, this seems to occur more frequently. There aremany cases reported where someone with a relativelyminor medical problem ends up in a coma. Far removedfrom medicine, there are similar kinds of problems withthose assigned to provide service for cable or satellite tel-evision. Often after talking on the phone with “servicetechnicians” from India, you eventually hang up and de-cide to resolve the problem by yourself after therunaround you get on the phone.

My first run in where someone assigned to heal me ac-tually caused greater harm was when a decade ago I wentinto the hospital for Appendicitis. While all my symptomsseemed to be symptoms that could only be caused by Ap-pendicitis, the attending physician kept saying that my con-dition couldn’t be Appendicitis. He pointed to my rightside where the pain of a rupturing or diseased appendixwould occur. My pain was two inches over from thatpoint. As my pain was outside of the quadrant of thebody seen in 85 to 90 percent of the cases with Appen-dicitis, my problem had to be something else. Surely, Ihad gall stones or kidney stones, according to the doctor.I was taken off the list for surgery for almost 24 hoursbefore I eventually had the surgery that was clearly indi-cated from the outset, if only someone bothered to payattention to me personally instead of a statistical chart.

There is a relatively new way of performing medicalpractice, relatively new in that it is only the product of thelast couple of decades rather than the thousands of yearsof medical practice before it. In this new way of practic-ing, there are algorithms which serve as a guideline tochoosing alternative treatments. Roughly, this techniqueof algorithms has the doctor choose between two or morealternatives. Does the condition present like A or is it likeB? Once the doctor decides that it is like A, then there aretwo more choices. For this algorithmic technique, the doc-tor makes a series of choices, all based on charts. All ofthese choices are based on a system where the great ma-jority of cases which look like A succeed with treatmentX. While this is not a 100 percent successful way of per-forming medicine, it greatly reduces the choices that thedoctor ends up facing and in the great majority of casesguides the physician to the right remedy.

That would be great if we were facing the statistical oddsof Vegas. With the algorithms created for doctors, we

would tend to beat the odds in Las Vegas and most oftenhave the right solution. However, “most often” does notcount when we are dealing with life and death issues. Noone who is among the 15 percent group which differsfrom the majority would ever want to die as a result ofthe doctor choosing to treat the majority type of a caserather than the minority case represented by the patient.

In my case, I was later told that I am one of about 10percent of the population that has my appendix posi-tioned to the inside of my gall bladder rather than to theoutside. The 10 percent of people like me have pain whichoccurs in an area about two to three inches over fromwhere the typical patient with Appendicitis experiencespain. The end result of trying to treat the minority caseby the algorithm technique was that the attending physi-cian concluded that my condition was not Appendicitis.The surgeon was then forced to look at possible gallstones, kidney problems, bladder problems, and evenmore conditions before even considering finally that therewas a diseased appendix. I was unnecessarily kept fromsurgery for close to 24 hours, with a great risk of injuryfrom a possible burst appendix. I was then under the knifein the operating room for an excessive time as the doctorhad to eliminate the options caused by the algorithmcharts. I then woke up with a five inch scar across my belly.Nerves and muscle tissue were evidently cut, all to lookfor gallstones, kidney stones, and other conditions indi-cated by the statistical charts. It took my close to a year torecover from this more extensive surgery. I could not con-tinue to exercise and began to gain weight. It was 10 yearslater before I was able to take the weight off. My veryhealth was in danger. This all occurred because a physicianchose to do something by the “new book,” rather thanclosely observe my specific condition, listen to me as I de-scribed the pain I was feeling, and do the other kinds ofthings that had been previously a tradition in medical prac-tice.

Many areas of “helping professions” and “serviceproviders”, far beyond the medical field, are using tech-niques similar to algorithmic charts in their fields.

A couple of months ago, our satellite television recep-tion went out. We could not gain a satellite signal. I re-membered that about two years earlier the same thing hadhappened and that somewhere in our house was a buttonthat I was able to press that sent the signal to the satelliteto gain transmission. I could not remember, however,what this button was called, where it was located, or othersuch details so I called the service technicians from the


satellite company. I immediately asked about this certain button and where it might be. The service technician, however,said that before anything could be done by way of specific techniques to regain satellite reception, I would have toshut down the entire system and then reboot it up as that usually corrects the problem. This process of shutting downthe system at each of the five satellite terminals in our house at each of the televisions would require almost a halfhour. I responded that I did not think that was necessary as I had been advised in a previous conversation about twoyears earlier what to do and it worked immediately. The satellite service technician said that he was an expert and notI and that company procedure called in this type of situation for first shutting down the system. So I shut down theentire system. He then directed me to about 20 alternatives. At the end of these 20 alternatives and well over an hourand a half of my time, the reception had still not been restored. Finally, I hung up. I spent ten minutes on my ownsearching for that button which I did find. I pressed the button and good satellite reception resumed.

So involved are various service providers in following the prescribed charts that even when those prescribed chartsdo not yield success, the technicians still follow them. I may have been on the phone additional hours with this servicetechnician and still not have had an answer. I would have had to wait until that chart finally gave the choice of pressingthe appropriate button before the service technician would have given me that option. He even said, “I am supposedto go through all these steps to make sure we did not miss anything.”

During my training as a psychologist, in the years before these statistical charts, the first things you would look atduring an evaluation was background history. And the first things you would look at in background history weremedical issues such as hearing and vision. I have seen numerous cases of the child who looks inattentive in class beinggiven psychiatric medication for ADHD. When the medication does not work, a larger dose is given. When the largerdose does not work, a different medication was given. I have been asked in a few dozen cases after the treatment withmedication has not worked to evaluate dozens of children who appear inattentive. Within my testing, the children areshown to have hearing concerns. I refer them to hearing specialists. In all but one of the cases that I have so referredin the past three years, the children were found to have significant hearing loss. In all of these cases, a quick check ofthe child’s background history would have shown that he or she had had repeated ear infections. Had a mother brought


a child into a hospital with the complaint that his ears hurt, various charts would have asked the doctor to do some in-quiring and it would have been noticed that the problem was likely related to hearing. However, the family came inwith a complaint from the school that the boy was inattentive. The doctors would then follow various charts on whatto do with a child with a possible attentional disorder.

What happened to using one’s brain in performing medicine or another service-related task? Whether it is the pedi-atrician or the child psychiatrist in regard to the hard of hearing children, the attending physician in regard to my ap-pendix, or the service technician in regard to our satellite TV system, there seems to be a push against actually thinking.Someone has come to the conclusion that it may take too much time to think. If you treat a condition in the samemanner that 85 to 90 percent of the cases are treated with that condition, you are likely to have success. So, why takethe time to think and individualize the treatment for the actual problem?

In many ways, we have stopped listening to one another. We have approaches that have been brought about by ourlearning and training. We have political and other partisan-type positions which govern how we look at various thingsin society. We have certain economic values which put a certain tint on what we see. We have stopped our thinkingprocess. We often act by prejudice, pre-judging the situations by certain values we hold.

Unfortunately, there are consequences for this change in approach from the “old ways.” When the attending physiciandoes not recognize Appendicitis and the appendix bursts, the patient’s life may be at risk. When the pediatrician doesnot bother to ask questions, the hearing problem persists and the behaviors worsen. Who knows how long I wouldhave had to wait to get the right answer from the service technician for the satellite TV system?

People matter. People’s problems matter. A young child who has behavior problems in school can worsen and hiswhole life can be colored by the negative experience of having a problem prolonged by the wrong diagnosis and treat-ment.

We must restore the value of thinking. We must bring back the care and concern that will lead to a successful con-clusion. We must not treat people and their conditions as mere statistics.

I was privileged in my Jewish studies as well as in my secular studies to have some of the greatest professors whohave written some of the greatest books that I know. For all of them, thinking mattered. Insights mattered. A specialist,for them, was one who had the insight and creativity to find the right solution to the problem in their area of studyor field.

Shortcuts are not really short. When we get the wrong conclusion from a doctor and we go back a couple of monthslater with the same problem, time is not saved. So why bother with these algorithms if they often don’t save time andin a large number of cases they don’t work? I may be wrong, but I think we have elevated expediency to one of ourprimary values and we have come downplay real expertise.

Expect more from the people who provide you with services. Tell them what ails you. Make them listen to you.

It is important to add a footnote. Three years after my appendix debacle, one of my daughters went into the hospitalwith the same symptoms. The then attending physician at the same hospital where I experienced my nightmare toldus that my daughter “can’t have appendicitis. Her pain was two inches too far over.” Fortunately, we demanded tospeak directly with the surgeon on duty. My daughter also had a diseased appendix at risk for bursting. Only throughour prior experiences and the knowledge and experience we had gained were we able to bypass the attending physician’sinappropriate reliance on statistical charts.

Expect more from the people who treat you or provide you with services.

Robert J. Rome, Ph.D., is a licensed Psychologist in clinical practice in Encino, California. He can be reached at [email protected].


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PARSHAS VA’ETCHANAN

When the Ten Commandments are repeated in the Torah as part of Moses' review of the Is-raelites' 40 years in the wilderness, Moses describes how G-d spoke those words in "a mightyvoice that did not end" (Deuteronomy 5:19).

One of the explanations offered by Rashi is that Moses is contrasting G-d's voice with human voices. The finitevoice of a human being, even a Pavarotti, will fade and falter. It cannot go on forever. But the voice of the Almightydid not end, did not weaken. It remained strong throughout.

Is this all the great prophet had to teach us about the voice of G-d? That it was a powerful baritone? That it resonated?Is the greatness of the Infinite One that he didn't suffer from shortness of breath, that He didn't need a few puffs ofVentolin? Is this a meaningful motivation for the Jews to accept the Torah?

Moses was the greatest of all prophets. He foresaw what no other prophet could see. Perhaps he saw his people be-coming caught up in the civilization of ancient Greece, in the beauty, culture, philosophy and art of the day. And theymight question, is Torah still relevant?

Perhaps he foresaw Jews empowered by the Industrial Revolution, where they might have thought Torah to be some-what backward. Or, maybe it was during the Russian Revolution that faith and religion were positively primitive.

Perhaps Moses saw our own generation with its satellites and space shuttles, television and technology. And he sawyoung people questioning whether Torah still speaks to them.

And so Moses tells us that the voice that thundered from Sinai was no ordinary voice. The voice that proclaimed theTen Commandments was a voice that was not only powerful at the time, but one that

"did not end." It still rings out, it still resonates, it still speaks to each of us in everygeneration and in every part of the world.

Revolutions may come and go but revelation is eternal. The voice of Sinaicontinues to proclaim eternal truths that never become passé or irrelevant.Honor Your Parents, revere them, look after them in their old age insteadof abandoning them to some decrepit old age home. Live moral lives;do not tamper with the sacred fiber of family life, be sensitive to theneeds and feelings of others. Dedicate one day every week and keepthat day holy. Turn your back on the rat race and rediscover your hu-manity and your children. Don't be guilty of greed, envy, dishonestyor corruption.

Are these ideas and values dated? Are these commandments tired,stale or irrelevant? On the contrary. They speak to us now as perhapsnever before. The G-dly voice has lost none of its strength, none ofits majesty. The mortal voice of man declines and fades into oblivion.Politicians and spin-doctors come and go, but the heavenly soundreverberates down the ages.

Torah is truth and truth is forever. The voice of G-d shall neverbe stilled. •


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You never have enough time to get everything done. You miss meals or just grab something on the go thatmay not be very nutritious, but you still put on weight easily. You push yourself to keep going when all youwant to do is lie down, but once in bed spend your time anxiously going over the concerns of the day. Coffee

or sweet food and drink gets you through when your energy droops, and there isn't enough time to relax, pray or meditate,never mind enjoy yourself having fun with the children or going for a nice walk in the countryside. Your energy levelsare low and you wake up exhausted in the morning. And things are getting worse.

These symptoms might have been written off as a psychological problem in the past, but these days, forward-thinkingscientists have identified a new hormone disorder- adrenal fatigue- caused by stress, inadequate nutrition and dependenceon stimulants in place of real energy. Whereas over-eating and under-activity are linked with imbalance of the hormoneinsulin, the under-eating and over-active lifestyle leads to imbalance of the hormone cortisol, which keeps us goingthrough the day. We have all heard about the growing problem of obesity, but how many of us aware of the similarlydangerous and widespread problem of early decline from pushing yourself too hard on not enough energy? People cansee your size, but they cannot see how tired you are, especially if you don't let them. The worst thing is, many womenconsider this almost a virtue, rather than a dangerous way of life. Yet it really can put so much stress on the body thatillnesses take over and organs start to fail.

Fortunately the cure is not a drug or an operation: it's dedicated long-term improved self-care - physical, mental and

Advice for Overdoers


spiritual. Doctors don't talk about spirituality much, but anoverview of the recommended approaches to improving youradrenal health, and making yourself stronger, and more en-ergized, shows a remarkable correlation between the best ofmodern holistic medical care and the advice of certain Jewishsages - ancient and modern. And many of these recommen-dations are either very similar to spiritual practices, or wouldbe better accomplished with a spiritual approach, in my hum-ble view. For instance, remembering that Hashem runs theworld is a great solution in itself to stress- and it reminds usthat trying to run our own little worlds on our own is not aworthy, admirable thing to do, so much as an egotistical andwrong-headed one.

As a Noahide, I am not surprised that the health books Iam reading say the same things as the Rambam, Rabbi Nach-man and Rabbi Brody - that's how I know they are goodbooks! Medicine and health advice goes through fads andtrends, but some basic principles remain true, and it is my be-lief that sticking to those principles from the start would en-able us all to avoid harming our own hormonal systemsthrough abuse. Over the years, I have noticed many times thatwhat really works for everyday health problems is prayer,avoiding dependence on doctors, and staying focused ongood health practices through a sense of spiritual obligation.Yet as a sufferer of adrenal burnout, I know how easy it isnot to realize what you are doing to yourself until things getbad. Modern American culture encourages us to follow the“work ethic”, not the “obligation to Hashem to take care ofourselves as well as our families” ethic. The yetzer hara tellsus we are doing good when actually we are doing bad. Butthen we realize, and we learn and do better.

Here is a list of the basic requirements for people in a stateof exhaustion with the symptoms of exhaustion, anxiety,stress, overwork, bad sleeping patterns and a poor diet. Ihope to expand on them and explain more about what to do,both spiritually and in other practical ways, in further articles.

1. Eat natural, nutritious, balanced meals, including break-fast.

2. Exercise in moderation, not excessively, and not to thepoint of exhaustion.

3. Spend time each day in relaxing meditation and prayer.

4. Sleep as much as you need to - allow 8 hours in bed.

5. Avoid alcohol and sweet drinks, and phase out caffeine.

6. Avoid sugar, and eat nutritious non-sugary snacks be-tween meals to boost your energy instead.

7. Practice deep breathing several times a day.

8. Avoid junk food, chemical additives, and any other chem-icals or toxins, and breathe fresh country air instead, as muchas possible.

9. Do something light-hearted and enjoyable every day-have fun, be happy (it's a mitzva!)

10. Remember that taking care of yourself is an obligationto Hashem, not a selfish way of life. It's much more selfishto neglect yourself and damage your health, especially if oth-ers are dependent on you.

If you are exhausted in the ways I have described, just mak-ing one or more of these changes could improve your well-being greatly, almost right away. Please do make the time todo that now, especially if you are a mother. And don't forgetto ask for help- from your husband, your family, and mostof all Hashem. You are not on your own, and now is the timeto stop acting like it- taking on too much is not heroic, it'sletting the yetzer walk all over you. Just remembering twentytimes a day that the world is on God's shoulders, not yours,can make all the difference. Do that while taking a few deepbreaths, and you're on the right road already.

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The Search for Happiness


Tuesday dawn, July 7, 2009 –

Land in Jorge Chavez International Airport inLima, Peru. After eight hours in the air flyingsouthwest, from New York to Lima, I finally

disembark, marveling yet again at a new country I havenever visited, with a culture and language of their own,yet people not unlike anywhere else, who shed the sametears and cast the same smiles as we do in New York andelsewhere in the world.

Something strange going on at this airport. Airport of-ficials, vendors, attendants and just about everyone work-ing in the terminals is wearing a surgical mask! It feels likebeing in a hospital. Are they allergic to Americans? Arethey hypochondriacs, or are they protecting themselvesfrom infections of the profane world?

I discover that none of the above is correct. It’s swinedisease that they are protecting themselves against. So whythe heck aren’t they distributing these masks to all of us?It seems weird that the traveling passengers walk aroundunprotected while all the “officials” are covered in masks,as if saying that “we need to protect ourselves for youalien carriers?” like in some surreal science fiction movie.

Oh well, it is after all 6:30 in the morning, and after agrueling all night flight, I may be dreaming…

A driver takes me to my hotel. Rumor has it that in Limamany people have drivers, and even the drivers have driv-ers… I’m wondering whether I got a driver or a driver ofa driver. Is this my ego speaking or is it my Divine soultrying to understand why some of us are drivers and oth-ers are being driven?

Arrive at Libertador Hotel, in Lima’s quiet financial dis-trict – an elegant place with spacious suites, good showersand comfortable beds (just in case you were planning atrip here and need a recommendation).

On the lobby’s big screen I see the live broadcast of theMichael Jackson memorial, being beamed across the globeon CNN and other cable networks. They estimate that twobillion people are watching this. Two billion.

Throughout the day this memorial was played and re-played again and again. And when that became too ex-hausting, the programmers began feeding the airwaveswith a non-stop diet of interviews. Every doctor, chauf-feur and plastic surgeon – every possible consultant andexpert – was marched on the screen, in a steady farcicalflow of one pundit more ridiculous than the previous one,speculating on everything from Jackson’s cause of death

to his parenting, from his skin to his nose, medical advi-sors discussing various medications, analyzing rumors andspeculations, with about as much wisdom that anyonewatching could equally dispense.

I came to Lima to participate in a conference on Hap-piness. Is this – the addictive display of Michael Jackson’slife – making people happy? I understand that his musicand dance – as a brilliant performer – lifted many hearts,helped people escape for a while from their troubles. I seethe people crying over Jackson’s untimely death. But havewe taken this “celebrity worship” too far? Are people play-ing out their own lives through celluloid heroes, replacingtheir own challenges, escaping from their own struggles,by watching the “movie” of other lives?

And what about sensitivity to those that passed? Is therea point when we can leave Michael Jackson rest in peace?His bizarre life, all under the spotlight, must have beendifficult enough. “Leave him be, and go live your ownlife,” was one of my many thoughts in a Lima lobby.

It’s just staggering to think about the amount of hoursthe networks dedicated to this story. Even more staggeringis the amount of hours people everywhere have spent –wasted – on watching these displays. Is there any practicalbenefit coming out of all this? Are relationships beingmended, marriages strengthened, families built, psycheshealed? Is anyone becoming more refined, more giving,more anything – besides for more informed aboutMichael’s intimate details?

Trust me, I’m not being judgmental and critical. I seethe allure and can easily fall into the same addictive trap.That is the hypnotic power of the visual. What is evenmore hypnotic is when these images and stories are beingwatched by almost everyone and everywhere you go. DidI come to Lima to become educated about mass hysteriaand mass hypnosis?

My thoughts turn to the words of my colleague, DavidFischman, who shared the podium with me in this con-ference on the nature of happiness.

David is an acclaimed author, having penned five books,including The Secret of the Seven Seeds: A Parable ofLeadership and Life (Jossey-Bass, 2006). A civil engineerby training, David is a well-known and highly respectedpersonality in Peru. He is dedicated, as he shared with me,to use his skills to serve and better people’s lives.

This conference, which was held in a large, packed hallin Lima, was moderated by a famous Peruvian sports an-


nouncer, who asked us each two questions: “What is happiness?” and “How does one find happiness?” After eachquestion we each had thirty minutes to respond.

Among the many fascinating studies and statistics that Mr. Fischman presented, one struck me in particular: by age10 the average child in the Western world has seen one million advertisements. Denmark, Fischman pointed out, wasrated in a recent study as the country with the happiest people, and is also the country with the least amount of publicadvertising. Fischman suggested that perhaps happiness is directly linked to the amount of options we are offered.Those with higher exposure to advertisements hawking all types of wares, covet more and are therefore become moremiserable not be able to fulfill all their desires. In Denmark, where they are not that exposed to advertisements and allthe options they offer, people are more content with what they have. Confirming the idiom: Happiness results frombeing at peace with wanting what you have, instead of having what you want.

So where does that leave Americans, who are inundated more than most with an insatiable diet of products andservices? With 24/7 cable and internet platforms streaming images of Michael Jackson experts or whatever. Howhappy are people in the most prosperous country that ever existed (the United States)? How content are those mostexposed – addicted, is more like it – to the sophisticated marketing machines, pumping a unquenchable diet of picturesand stories assaulting our psyches, violating our souls, convincing us that we need this and that, opening us to optionswe could never have fantasized on our own? You can imagine that the US doesn’t come out on top of the happinessscale. (But don’t feel so bad: Pakistan and Iraq rated lower).

So we are addicted consumers, who feel freer than ever in our endless choices, and our ability to buy anything wewant. But are we actually free, or are we buying into a very manipulative marketing force – a modern-day, sophisticatedversion of “snake oil salesmen?”

And how does this bode for our relationships? Since we have before us an infinite menu of options, with the delusionthat they are all available to us, how committed can weever be to one person?

Interesting isn’t it? Is it possible that our success andcomforts are also our undoing? Can it be that our un-precedented high standard of living, our technologies andease of access to anything we can possible desire – andeven to things that we would never have dreamed of de-siring – can also be the cause of our misery?

And if so, is the only option frugality? The simple life?

But before this makes anyone too, ahem… unhappy ordepressed, please bear in mind that happiness is not a re-sult of how much we possess or don’t possess. True, thereare those who have very little but are very happy, andthose that own much and are miserable. But there are alsopeople with little who are very unhappy and prosperouspeople who are very happy.

What I shared at the conference is that happiness is nota verb, but a noun. It is not driven by actions, acquisitions– going out and buying something. Objects can make ushappy for a while, but happiness is a state of being. Andeach of us is inherently a happy person. We were bornhappy. Just witness children. And then due to sad attitudesof those around us we learn to become unhappy, and theinherent happiness in our souls gets buried beneath layersof despondency driven by many forces – insecurities,

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fears, and yes, also all those options that marketers are selling us, promising… happiness.

The key to happiness is thus accessing your inner self and realizing that whatever you acquire in life is a blessing andan opportunity. A blessing: a humble recognition that despite your efforts, your gifts are blessings that should neverbe taken for granted and never seen as a sole result of “my own strength and personal power” (Deuteronomy 8:17).An opportunity to use your gifts and resources to serve – to help others and improve your corner of the world.

Instead of being a victim, standing on the receiving end of all the “news,” “ads” and “messages” being streamedinto your brain and heart, recognize that your happiness springs from within, and that all the options that come yourway are meant to be used to fulfill your higher calling.

So prosperity is a blessing. Our high standard of living a gift. Our technologies and comforts an opportunity – aspiritual opportunity to sublimate the universe in which we live.

How much exposure, then, do we allow ourselves and our children to the “merchants” and “peddlers” of the world?The less the better. Especially in our earlier, formative years, we need to first build up our inner sense of purpose –our internal compass – before we can navigate well. At that stage it is critical not to be overwhelmed by the barrageof external “noise” of money and the marketplace, which drowns out and interferes with the “subtle” sounds of ourown souls. We must first discover the end before learning about the means, lest we confuse the two. Before we exposeourselves to the “voices” out there – and G-d knows, there are many such voices clamoring for our attention – wemust first discover our “inner” voice.

In the world in which we live we inevitably are exposed to far too much “information” –coming at us from every di-rection: Our streets, screens, stadiums, telephones, mobile devices, books, newspapers, tee shirts, billboards. The listgoes on and on. We therefore ought to bear in mind both indispensable messages:

The more you minimize your exposure the happier you will be. The sages tell us: Be satisfied with the minimum(mistapek b’muet), and: Who is wealthy? the one satisfied with his lot.

On the other hand, whatever does come your way – and whatever you do acquire in your life pursuits – always re-member: These are gifts and opportunities bestowed upon you not merely for your personal gain; but to transformyour world into a sublime environment.

Best regards from Lima, Peru. !

Courtsy of www.meaningfullife.org



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Man does not live by bread alone. A famous line (it even figured prominently in an ad for a

burger chain some years ago), but what does it mean?

The verse comes from this week's Torah reading and is areference to the miraculous manna, which fell from heavendaily during the Jewish people's sojourn in the wilderness. The conclu-sion of the verse is that "rather, by the utterance of G-d's mouth doesman live." Thus, it is reminding us about the true source ofhuman sustenance.

Contrary to popular belief, it is neither our earthly toil northe sweat of our brow nor all those conferences, meetingsand sales seminars that ensure our success. The reality isthat it is G-d who sustains us and looks after us, in the verysame way as our ancestors trekking through the desert weretotally dependent on Him for their daily bread. Wealth is aG-dly gift. At the end of the day, it is not our business acu-men alone that provides our daily bread, but the blessingsfrom above which endow our efforts with success.

Ask anyone in sales how often their best laid plans andpitches have come to naught and then, out of the blue, abig order comes in with little or no effort. Of course, it'snot the rule, and we must be prepared to put in effort if weare to succeed. But when it does happen, it reminds us thatthere are higher forces beyond our control at work.

But there's another meaning to this verse as well. Mandoes not live by bread alone. The human spirit is such thatwe crave more than bread. Human beings are never satisfiedwith money or materialism alone.

Money is important but we cannot live by money exclu-sively. What about job satisfaction? I know a number of in-dividuals in our community who willingly gave up lucrativepositions for less rewarding ones because they found theirwork unstimulating. They were making lots of cash butthere was no emotional reward.

I also know people who have it all financially but who are

nonetheless unhappy people. They are very successful andvery miserable. The successes we achieve do not guaranteeour happiness. After we've bought the house of our dreamsand our fantasy sports car and the latest cell phones, laptopsand DVDs, we tire of them all. For satisfaction to be lastingit must be more than material, it must be spiritual. We needmore than bread and money; we need stimulation and asense of meaningful achievement. We need to know thatour lives have purpose and that somehow we have made adifference. We want to be assured that our work is produc-tive and will have lasting value.

They tell the story of a prisoner in a Russian labor campwhose job it was to turn a heavy wheel attached to a wall.For twenty-five years the prisoner worked at his backbreak-ing labor. He assumed that this wheel must be attached toa mill on the other side of the wall; perhaps he was millinggrain, or pumping water that irrigated many fields. In hismind's eye he saw the plentiful crops and the sacks of milledgrain feeding thousands of people. After twenty-five yearsof hard labor, when he was about to be released, the pris-oner asked to be shown the apparatus behind the prisonwall. There was nothing there! The wheel was just a wheel-- all his "work" had served no useful purpose. The mancollapsed in a dead faint, absolutely devastated. His life'swork had been in vain.

We have a deep-seated need to know that our life's workis purposeful, physically and spiritually. When we under-stand that every good deed is attached to a complex spiritualapparatus, that our every action meshes with a systematicstructure of cosmic significance, then our lives become en-dowed with a deeper sense of meaning and purpose.

We desperately need to know that, in some way, our workis helping others -- that we are making a contribution to so-ciety beyond our own selfish needs. Then, we live. Then weare happy.

Man does not live by bread alone. We simply cannot.




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Marinade: In a small bowl, whisk together lemon zestand juice, oregano, oil, 2 teaspoons coarse salt, and 1teaspoon pepper. Divide marinade between 2 large re-sealable plastic bags. Place 2 chicken halves in each bag;shake to coat. Marinate at room temperature 30 minutes,turning bags occasionally.

Preheat grill to medium; lightly oil grates. Removechicken from marinade, and pat dry with paper towels.Place chicken, skin side up, on grill. Cover and cook, untillightly browned and cooked through, about 20 minutes.Turn chicken over; cover and cook until well browned, 10to 15 minutes (an instant-read thermometer should register175 degrees.when inserted into thickest part of meat,avoiding bone). If chicken is browning too quickly, moveto cooler parts of grill or turn grill to low heat.

Transfer chicken to a cutting board. Tent with foil; letrest 10 minutes. Meanwhile, place lemon halves on grill,cut side down; cook until slightly charred, 8 to 10 min-utes. Cut chicken pieces in half; serve with grilled lemonhalves, and, if desired, garnish with oregano sprigs.

• 1 tablespoon grated lemon zest • 1/3 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice• 1/4 cup finely chopped fresh oregano• 2 tablespoons olive oil, plus more for grates • Coarse salt and ground pepper • 4 chicken halves (1 1/2 lb each) or 2 whole chickens • 4 lemons, halved crosswise • Oregano sprigs (optional)

Directions

Ingredients

Calfornia Kosher KitchenGrilled Chicken with Lemon and Oregano

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316 E Pico Blvd # F LA, CA 90015(213) 742-8888

Cow Jumped Over The Moon Kehila

421 N Rodeo Drive, B.H. 90210(310) 274-4269

Delice Kehila

8583 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035(310) 289-6556

Delice Bistro Kehila

8581 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035(310) 289-1702

Elat Burger Ben Zaken

9340 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035(310) 278-4692

Elite Cuisine RCC

7119 Beverly Blvd. LA, 90036(323) 930-1303

Falafel Express Buxbaum

5577 Reseda Blvd. Tarzana, 91356(818) 345-5660

Falafel Grill Chabad

5611 Kanan R. Agoura Hills, 91301(818) 991-8799

Fish Grill Kehila

7226 Beverly Blvd. LA, 90036(323) 937-7162

12013 Wilshire Blvd. LA, 90025(310) 479-1800

9618 W. Pico Blvd. 90035(310) 860-1182

22935 Pacific Coast Highway(310) 456-8585

Fish In The Village RCC

12450 Burbank Blvd. N.H, 91607(818) 769-0085

Glatt Hut RCC

9303 W. Pico Blvd. 90035(310) 246-1900

Golan RCC

13075 Victory Blvd. N. H, 91606(818) 763-5344

Got Kosher? RCC

8914 W. Pico Blvd. 90035(310) 858-1920

Habayit Buxbaum

11921 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90064(310) 479-5444

Haifa Ben Zaken

8717 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035(310) 888-7700

Hill Street Pizza RCC

456 S Hill St. Los Angeles, 90013(213) 627-9990

Jerusalem Pizza & Kehila

The Sushi17942 Ventura Blvd.Encino, CA 91316(818) 758-9595

Jeffs Gourmet Kehila

8930 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035(310) 858-8590

Jump To Juice RCC

8879 W. Pico Blvd. LA 90035(310) 858-2911

Kiki’s Grill RCC

12422 Burbank. N.H, 91607(818) 508-5557

La Brea Bagel OK

7308 Beverly Blvd. LA, 90036(323) 965-1287

La Gondola Kehila

9025 Wilshire Blvd. BH, 90211(310) 247-1239

La Glatt RCC

446 Fairfax Ave. LA, 90036(323) 658-7730

La Pizza Rabbi Furst

12515 Burbank Blvd. N.H, 91607(818) 760-8198

Le Sushi12524 Burbank Blvd N.H. 91607 (818) 763-6600

Mashu Mashu RCC

12510 Burbank Blvd. 91607(818)752-ASIA (2742)

Metro Glatt RCC

8975 W. Pico Blvd. 90035 (310) 275-4420

Milk N Honey RCC

8837 West Pico Blvd LA, 90035(310) 858-8850

Milky Way Kehila

9108 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035(310) 859-0004

Nagilla Pizza Kehila

9411 West Pico Blvd. LA, 90035(310) 788-0111

Nagilla Meating Place Kehila

9407 West Pico Blvd. LA, 90035(310) 788-0119

Nana Cafe RCC

1509 S Robertson Blvd. (310) 407-0404

Orange Delight Kehila

13628 Ventura Blvd. SO, 91423(818) 788-9896


Pats Kehila

9233 W. Pico Blvd. LA,90035(310) 205-8705

Pico Cafe Kehila

8944 W Pico Blvd. LA, 90035310-385-9592

Pico Kosher Deli RCC

8826 West Pico Blvd. LA,90035(310) 273-9381

Pita Way RCC

8532 Pico Blvd. LA, 90035(310) 652-5236

Pizza Maven Kehila

140 North La Brea Blvd.90036(323) 857-0353

Pizza Nosh Rabbi Ami Markel

30313 Canwood St. A.H.91301(818) 991-3000

Pizza Station Kehila

8965 W. Pico Blvd. LA,90035(310) 276-8708

Pizza World Kehila

365 Fairfax Ave. LA, 90036(323) 653-2896

Sassis Kehila

15622 Ventura, Encino,91436(818) 986-5345

Shalom Pizza RCC

8715 West Pico Blvd. LA,90035(310) 271-2255

Shanghai Kehila

9401 W. Pico Blvd. LA,90035(310) 553-0998

Shilohs Kehila

8939 W. Pico Blvd. LA,90035 (310) 858-1652

Smokin’ RCC

12514 Burbank Blvd. N.H,91607 (818) 752-6866

SubwayKehila

8948 W Pico Blvd. LA,90035 (310) 274-1222

Sunrise RCC

9216 W. Pico Blvd. LA,90035(310) 786-8282

SushiKo RCC

9340 West Pico Blvd. LA,90035 (310) 274-3474

Temptation GrillKehila

17547 Ventura B. Encino,91316(818) 995-4700

The Meating PlaceKCA

30313 Canwood St. AH,91301(818) 706-1255

Tierra Sur at HerzogWinery ou

3201 Camino DelSol Ox-nard(805) 983-1560

Unique Cafe Rabbi

Aron Simkin

18381 Ventura Blvd.Tarzana(818) 757-3100

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Community Links Issue 136