It's been two years since the last time I saw him. Two years since the last time I saw Ethan. I winced. Just the thought of his name is enough to cause me pain. The pain is both emotional and physical. I know it was my choice to let him go, but I can't help it. It was the worst choice I could ever make. I regret it everyday, from the moment I wake up till the moment I fall asleep. My father has been scared of me for the past two years; I would spend my days going from home to school, to work and back home. When I got home I would lock myself in my bedroom. I wouldn't eat or speak to anyone. My dad was constantly scared that I would have a break down any second. It was like I was a walking zombie, as if Ethan physically took my heart with him when he left. And that's exactly how I felt; even now I still feel that way. I sighed.

It was why I chose the farthest college possible. It was hurting my dad just to look at me, and I didn't want that. I was lucky to be accepted at any college. My grades went from good to average. I was only able to get into community colleges with my grades. And that's what I did. I gathered all the money I got from working seven days a week for two years and moved. The farthest I could move to was Methuen, Massachusetts. It's okay I guess, not that I care. I moved into the third floor of a house which was divided into four different quarters. I guess you can say I'm living in what used to be an attic. It's not big, but I don't need a lot of space so it doesn't really matter. My schedule hasn't changed, I still have no life.

"Kerry, are you listening?" I was startled out of my thoughts by Jennifer

"I'm sorry Jennifer, what was that?" She sighed and shook her head from side to side.

Jennifer was my partner for the project my class was assigned to by our Lit professor.

"Look if you don't want me-"

"No Jennifer, it's not that. It's just that I'm not feeling well." I lied.

"Well apparently you don't feel well everyday." She said getting up and walking to the window.

We were currently at Jennifer's house working on the ridiculous project. I barely knew her; all I knew was that she hated the school. I hated the school as well but I didn’t want my father to be more disappointed in me than he already was.

"Look I'm sorry, it's just you don't know what I've been through and-"

"Nobody does, that's your fault cause you-"

"Cause I can't tell anyone!" Jennifer turned around startled. "I can't." I said in a lighter tone.

"Kerry…" She said coming closer. I got up abruptly.

"I have to go."

"No Kerry…" I got my stuff opened the door. I turned around and looked at Jennifer.

"I'm sorry." I left going down the steps and getting into my car.

I drove strait home and locked myself in my room like I always do. I let myself sob until I was tired. I hadn't let myself cry in the longest time. I was tired, tired of holding in my emotions, of living an empty life, of living without Ethan. I couldn't take it anymore, I couldn't. It's been too much time and I just…There was a knock on the door then.

I should've known Jennifer would come after me. I thought.

I was about to get up but there was a bang and the door being slammed. I was startled and stood up fast only to be pushed back. I fell back, hitting my head with my night stand. The last thing I remember were two figures standing over me before the blackness swallowed me in.

It was dark when I woke up. All I could tell from were I was at was that I was probably in some sort of garage or basement. I, of course was gagged and tied up, both hands and feet. I couldn't tell what time it was or how long I had been unconscious for. All I knew was that I had been kidnapped and I had no idea why or by whom. I was thinking about a few scenarios on the way this could end when a thought came to me.

What if they are vampires? What if they are vampire hunters and think I'm a vampire?

I was contemplating this when I heard a bunch of things at the same time. There was a round of bullets being shot, shouting, running and objects hitting walls. All this noise when on for about five, ten minutes before everything went quiet and I could hear nothing but the sound of light footsteps coming nearer and nearer. I was

thinking that I was totally doomed when the door to the room I was in opened. I was blinded by the light for several seconds but when I was able to see again I gasped.

"You… you can't be here." I had just realized that while I had been blind, they had cut me loose and taken my gag off.

"Come on, we don't have time."

I was pulled up to my feet and dragged up the stairs and out the door. I didn’t know whether I was dreaming or had hit my head so hard that I was making stuff up. I was contemplating my insanity when we arrived at the car. He opened the back door and pushed me inside, closing the door behind me. He was at the driver's side door in seconds. In the passenger's seat was a male, maybe as old as me, maybe older.

"I don’t understand, what's happening?" I asked, scared to hear the answer.

"Kerry, are you going to start with your questions?" He asked, his voce giving out nothing.

I sighed and shook my head. I had no idea where they were taking me. It was like I was a magnet to these kinds of situations. I looked around and noticed that the car was brand new. The leather looked shiny and the rugs looked dirtless. That was when I noticed it. There was a jansport book bag on the floor.

"Is that-" I started to ask only to be interrupted

"Yes, it's yours. I figured you'd want some things."

"Thanks"

I grabbed the bag off the floor and opened it up. There were two shirts, a sweater, some jeans, a tooth brush and a hair brush. I sighed. At least it was something… I stared out the windows and watched as the streets flew by. I had no idea where I was and no idea why this was all happening; all I could hope was that Ian and dad were okay. I felt myself getting more tired and knew it would be no time before I was asleep.

"I'll find out sooner or later what's going on." I mumbled. I knew he would understand.

"I know. Goodnight Kerry" I heard him say before falling asleep into a dreamful sleep.

I was in a forest that much I knew. It was dark, probably midnight. I was running, but I didn’t know where to or who from. All I knew was that I was running and I was scared. That’s when I saw it, the flash of pale. I ran towards it knowing what it was.

“Ethan! Ethan, come back.” I shouted, but he couldn’t hear me.

I kept running and running towards him. I looked behind me and saw that I wasn’t alone. They were chasing after me and they were catching up.

Kerry, keep running! I thought to myself. But I was getting tired. I knew it wouldn’t be long before I tripped or fell.

“You can’t run Kerry!” I heard form behind me. “You’ll never escape me.”

I gasped. Oh no. I thought. This can’t be happening. I ran till I couldn’t anymore.

I tripped and landed on the ground. There was a laugh. It was a horrible, shrieking laugh. I screamed.

“Kerry” It was a different voice this time. It was a softer, smoother voice that didn’t belong to the person chasing me. “Come on, Kerry”

“Kerry!” I woke up startled. “It was just a dream.” He told me softly.

“Ethan …”

“It’s alright Kerry.” I sighed as he moved away. I looked around, noticing that we weren’t in the car anymore. “We’re in an old, abandoned underground train station.” He told me.

“What time is it?” I asked knowing I had to have been asleep for at least twelve hours.

“It’s just a few minutes after sunset.”

“You need to tell me what’s going on.” I sighed. “It’s like we’re reliving what happened two years ago except differently.”

“I know”

“Who was that guy that was in the car with us?” I asked remembering the person that had been seated in the passenger side of the car.

“He’s a friend of mine. We’ve been sharing a place while I …,” He paused and looked at me. He sighed and shook his head. “…while I kept an eye on you.” He finished.

"What?" I couldn't believe my ears. He's been close this whole time and I hadn't known. "I… You… You were watching me the entire time?"

He shook his head and sighed. "Yeah…"

"I can’t believe it."

"I'm sorry."

"You couldn't have-" I stopped myself from continuing.

“You shouldn't have treated your father that way, he-“

"Stop it!" I couldn’t take it if he continued. "You don't know anything."

"I know quite a lot actually." He said as he took a step towards me. "Like the fact that you barely sleep. Or like the fact that you can't have a roommate because when you do sleep you have nightmares that cause you to scream." He paused." There's also the fact that every one of those nightmares are about me, and that it's my name you scream out." He took another step forward and I took one back only to be stopped half step by his hand grabbing my arm. "Tell me that I don't know anything." He whispered his face only centimeters from mine.

"You don't-" My words were cut of by his mouth as he kissed me.

The kiss wasn't long but it was long enough for me to lose track of my thoughts.

Slowly his lips parted from mine and he stared down at me for several seconds.

"I've been, wanting to do that for as long as I can remember." He whispered.

"I can't believe you." I hissed. "This entire time-" I was cutoff by another searing kiss.

"Yes and I'm sorry about that." He said when he pulled away.

"What's happening?" I asked.

Ethan sighed and looked away.

“It’s a long story.”

“Then starts from the beginning…”

Chapter 2

I still couldn’t believe my eyes; Ethan was right in front of me after two years of not seeing him and not knowing where he was. The strangest thing though is that even though we had spent two years apart it felt like he had never left. Like if the past two years had been a nightmare that I had just woken up from. So far I’ve learned that Ethan had been following me for the past two years. The entire time he had been close and I had never noticed. When I moved to Methuen, he moved to Andover which was about an hour from Methuen. He had been sharing the house with Sam who was the guy from the car. He too was a vampire. So far the only thing I knew was that Sam was warning other vampires and that it was very possible that I wouldn’t ever see him again.

“Wait, how did you know that I had been kidnapped?” I asked.

“You do know that’s a stupid question, right?”

“Well okay, then how did you know where to find me?”

“Alright, I knew you were kidnapped because of the forced entry and the blood on the floor from when you banged your head.” I looked at him skeptically. I touched the back of my head to find that it hurt when I put pressure. I looked at my hand and saw that there was some blood “I’m surprised you hadn’t noticed sooner because there was a lot of blood and it looked like you had banged your head pretty hard.”

“Oh, I guess with everything happening I didn’t realize I was hurt.” Talking about blood reminded me. “Wait but doesn’t the blood bother you…” I didn’t know what other way to put it.

“No Kerry I’m fine.” He said realizing what I had meant. “I had feed earlier. Besides I could control myself”

It had been an hour and I still didn’t know anything about my own kidnapping. We were still in the abandoned train station and I was wondering if we had traveled far from were they found me. What I hate though is that I don’t even know where they found me. For all I know they found me a block from my house. I don’t even know if were still in Massachusetts.

We’ve been sitting across from each other while he told me what he’d been up to for the past two years. When I said he should start from the beginning I didn’t mean literally. He practically started from where I last saw him

two years ago, erasing evidence from Gilbert Marsala’s home. He told me how he once again changed his name back to Michel and moved to the next town over and kept an eye on me during the night. Now after finally arriving to the part where I was kidnapped he doesn’t want to say anything. It makes me think that he’s keeping something important from me.

“Why are you avoiding the specifics about what’s happening?”

“Because nothing is really happening except for the part where there is someone after us.”

“Ethan come –“

“It’s Michel.” He said smirking.

“Ethan, Michel, whatever your name is! I need to know what’s happening, how can I trust you if you can’t even tell me what happened to me?”

“Fine, remember the part where I told you that I’ve been following you?” I nodded in response. “Well I’ve been around you so much that I know your scent and even the sound of your heart beat. Point is I followed your scent and when I heard your heart beat I went in and got you.”

“And where exactly did you find me?”

He paused before answering. “I found you in Lawrence which is just south of where you live. Right now we’re in Maine.”

I just stared at him trying to understand what he was saying. He took my hand in his and watched me with

cautious eyes. We were in Maine; I don’t know why that bothered me. All I wanted was to find out why this was happening. I looked away from Ethan’s eyes and asked again.

“Ethan, what’s happening?”

“I’m so sorry Kerry. This is my fault.”

“What is?” He sighed and let go of my hand.

“His name is Rafael.” I looked up at him with uncertainty. “The guy who kidnapped you, he was after you because of me. He wanted me not you and he thought that if he kidnapped you I would come after you.”

“Then it was a trap? Why did you come for me if you knew he was after you? Why didn’t you just let me d –“

“Kerry, don’t say it… I would never forgive my self if something bad happened to you because of me.”

“What ever. That coming from someone who saw the pain I was in for two years yet didn’t do anything about it.” I got up and walked away needing time to think.

“You wanted me to stay away.” His voice was right behind me. “You said you needed to stay, so I left like you wanted me too.”

“But I didn’t want you gone…” I said facing him.

“At first you did want me gone, it was after I was gone when you realized you wanted me with you. But that doesn’t really mater anymore because the point is I came after you. Now all we have to do is lay low for a few days. Then you need a new identity and-“

“What, a new identity? Why?”

“Because he knows who you are and if he wants to find you, he can. The best thing to do now is fake your death and create a new identity and a new home for you. You can’t ever go back to your house. As a mater a fact, I think your new home is going to be somewhere in Europe, as far away from here as possible.”

“No! I’m not going to do that. Besides I can’t leave all my stuff, my memories. Not to mention what about my dad and Ian. I can’t hurt them more than what I already have.”

“You’re going to have to. It’s either their happiness or your life, either way you’re going to be dead to them!” He said raising his voice in a scary way.

I looked away, tears in my eyes. What he said hurt and I didn’t want to accept any of it.

“Look I’ll have Sam get your important things.”

“Whatever, do what you want just leave me alone.” I walked away hoping he wouldn’t follow.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I had stayed away from Ethan not wanting to talk to him. I was starting to think that maybe having him in my life like I had wanted was not a very good idea. I was going to have to leave everything I knew, from my home to my family. I know that I hadn’t been close with my family for two years but I still love them and even though I don’t see them I still talk to them. If I fake my death I wouldn’t

even be able to talk to them and that scared me. I don’t know why, but it did. I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to help them if they were in trouble. They might be in trouble this instant.

I thought back to that same fear I had when I’d thought Ian and my father were captured or dead, the panic of seeing the red paint on the living room wall. I shuddered as I thought back to when I found out that Ethan was in fact a vampire. I was stupid and naïve at that age and in a way still am. Though I remember distinctly telling myself to remember the bad Ethan, the one who scared me, the vampire, I can’t because despite everything I love him, but that’s not something I can tell him. I will never repeat my feelings toward him like I had the last time I’d seen him. I couldn’t, I wouldn’t.

I was lying on the dirty ground surprised that Ethan hadn’t come to find me. I guess its sun out. I thought to myself. I didn’t have a watch so I didn’t know but that was the only explanation. I didn’t know the time and I didn’t know whether we would be here much longer but I didn’t care. All I wanted to do was go home and lye down on my soft, comfortable bed. My thoughts continued in an unorganized fashion until I fell asleep, dreaming about a vampire with blue eyes and dark hair.

Chapter 3

I opened my eyes to an ugly day, not that it was surprising at all. I sighed and got out of bed, closing the curtains. I didn’t want to see the depressing weather anymore than I had to. Living in the UK is very different than living in Brockport or even Methuen but I’ve been getting used to it during the past year. Things have

changed dramatically since Michel and I were reunited. I now live in a gorgeous house in Nottingham, United Kingdom with Carolina and Mathew. As promised Michel had faked my death and moved me all the way to England. Carolina and Mathew were two vampires who are pretty much babysitting me. They are old friends of Michel who he had contacted after he had made plans to move me here. They have actually become really good friends of mine and they allow me to forget the reason why I’m even in this place. Michel on the other hand comes and goes while doing who knows what. It’s driving me crazy and it really irritates me.

I looked around the room and sighed. I owned the master bedroom of the house. The really big house that is three floors with four bedrooms, and four bathrooms. The first floor contains the kitchen, living room, dining room and a half bathroom. The second floor contains my room, Michel’s room and a separate bathroom. The third floor contains Carolina and Mathew’s room a guest room and the study/ library. The house is decked out in the latest technology and appliances including a high tech alarm system. Ethan arranged it all for me to have the best out of the best. The house is gorgeous but it’s not me.

I went in to my walk in closet and took out a white tank top with a black tie sweater, jeans and my converse. Then I went into my master bathroom and got ready. It was a Saturday and as usual I was stuck inside with nothing to do. Usually girls my age would be getting ready to go out clubbing later tonight but I was stuck home with two vampires When Michel came back I thought for sure my life was going to change but not like this. This is just torture because even still I find myself living without Michel.

I went downstairs to the kitchen and noticed that Carolina and Mathew weren’t due for another half hour. It was weird to in away be living the life of a vampire like this. I slept during most of the day and was awake most of the night. I went to school at night and did everything at night. There were those days though when I woke up and it was noon and I could see the sun and feel its warmth. Or like today where I woke up an hour before sunset. I remember in the beginning how difficult it was for me to get used to it. Michel had been there and he had been so frustrated with me. He kept on telling me that I needed to change to the night schedule so that Carolina and Mathew can keep an eye on me. It was frustrating in a way but it got better after a while.

I decided to eat cereal for ‘breakfast’ since there wasn’t anything better and I didn’t really want to cook anything. While I was eating I heard a door being closed upstairs signaling that Carolina and Mathew were finally up. It was their signal to me since I couldn’t hear any other sounds they made because they were so quiet. I realized a long time ago that Michel will most likely never change me. If he was going to change me he would have done it since the beginning of this whole mess. He wants me to stay human…I thought for the millionth time this year.

“Kerry?” Carolina asked coming into the kitchen.

“Hi,” I said as soon as she spotted me. “I’m just eating breakfast”

“I figured you would be; I could hear you chewing from upstairs.” She laughed.

I sighed and got up putting my used plate in the sink. I would wash it later when I felt like it. I leaned my hip against the counter and looked at Carolina.

“So are you guys going out to eat your breakfast?”

“Yep, we’re heading out now.” I nodded and stood up straight.

“Well I’ll be in my room then, don’t forget to turn on the alarm.” I said walking out of the kitchen and back up to my room.

I didn’t really care if they turned on the alarm or not, I didn’t care for much these days. All I wanted was for this nightmare to be over. As I went into my room I stopped and stared at it. It was a huge room that had way too much space for a girl like me. The walls were a very light grey almost white color. All my furniture was black and my bedspread was black and white. I had a king size bed with a nightstand on each side and a bench on the foot of the bed. I had a big flat screen TV and radio system with shelves that contained my DVD’s, music and books on the opposite wall of the bed. Then I had a seat for two against the wall close to the door. On the opposite wall of the door was the dresser with mirror which held my make up, perfumes and such. In the corner close to my bed I had the six-drawer chest that contained some of my clothes. Besides that the room was fairly empty but tolerable.

I sighed and went to sit on my bed. I hadn’t been sitting for two minutes when I heard a knock on the door and the door opening. Mathew stuck his head in the doorway and smiled.

“Hey, Michel just called he’ll be here tomorrow.”

“What? Why?”

“I don’t know, you know he never tells anyone anything.”

“Fine…” He nodded and left closing the door behind him.

Great, now Michel was coming back. I didn’t look forward to that. It’s not something I ever looked forward to. I sighed and lied down. I thought back to the happenings of the past year. It’s not something I enjoyed thinking about. Especially what had happened at the beginning of the year. When everything started to go downhill and before I started to really think about life, love and what they meant to me.

When Michel faked my death it was both smart and simple. He took my car and it ended up in some river or something. I don’t know how and I don’t want to know the point is he made it look like a crazy accident in which my body was lost in the water forever. I used to picture the thousand ways my father could react to the news when he was told. It saddened me that he would never be able to see me again and I wouldn’t be able to see him or Ian.

My thoughts changed to when Michel moved me here. It was different and hard to get used to but that was only because the location and some of the vocabulary was different. It was also a bit weird but I got used to it with no help from Michel, he left almost a week after we settled in. Not even a week. It was frustrating for me and it still is. Things have just not gone the way I had hoped. I had wanted a nice house with Michel and for us to be together. Not this. Definitely not this...

………………………………………………………………………………………………

I woke up to some moving of the bed and sheets. I must have fallen asleep while thinking about the past. I felt the bed dip and opened my eyes to find two blue ones looking down at me. I sat up in shock. He chuckled and lied down.

“What are you doing here?” I asked getting up and fixing my clothes.

“Didn’t Mathew and Carolina tell you I was coming?”

“Yeah, but they said you would come tomorrow.” He chuckled and stood up walking towards me.

“What, are you not happy to see me?” I sighed and looked away.

“You’ve been gone…”

“Trying to find Rafael and see what to do about him.” I shook my head and walked to the mirror looking at it.

“Your hair looks nice.” He commented coming behind me and touching my hair.

“Thank you” I said walking to the bench and sitting.

I had cut my hair to about shoulder length and it was very different than what it used to be when Michel last saw me. I had needed a change so I cut my hair and now I have bangs that go to the side of my face.

“What’s wrong?” Michel asked sitting next to me.

“When is this crap going to end? I hate this.”

“I’m sorry that you had to move away from your home.”

“But you don’t understand, it not the fact that I’m away from home. I don’t care; it’s the fact that I’m away from you. I want to be with you, I wanted to be with you. Now I’m not so sure…”

He shook his head and stood up. Apparently he didn’t like the fact that I was saying I wanted to be with him. I had promised myself that I wouldn’t repeat my feelings to him but people change and so do promises. At least that’s what I keep telling myself. I always stood on a fine line between loving Michel and hating him. It makes me both crazy and mad that my feelings where all out of order. I sighed and stood up.

“Forget I ever said anything.” I said walking to my chest and opening the third drawer getting out a pair of pajamas and underwear. “I never said a word.”

“No Kerry that’s not it, it’s just…”

“It’s just nothing. I have to take a shower, I’ll see you later. You should heed to your room.”

“No, I want to talk to you now and I’m not leaving until I do.”

“Well to bad, I’m taking a shower and you’re lea-” In seconds he was in front of me holding my arm.

“Remember I’m much stronger than you and I don’t need to use a lot of force to keep you in one place.” My eyes started to water and I looked away.

“This is why my love for you is slowly going away… You leave and then you do this.” I sobbed. Once again my feelings were taking over and I couldn’t control them. The grip on my arm loosened and then he let go.

“I’m sorry Kerry; I don’t know what to say…”

“You don’t need to say anything, you just need to leave.” He sighed and nodded.

“I’m sorry.” He leaned down and gave my forehead a kiss. Then he turned around and left my room.

As the tears rolled down my face I gathered my clothes and went into the master bathroom. I needed a long shower, one that would help me forget. At least for a little while…

………………………………………………………………………………………………

As I had expected Ethan had been listening for me so that he would know when I was out of the shower. So when I came out of my bathroom he was sitting on my bed. As I went my drawer and got a pair of sox I stared at him. He was looking down at his hands with a strange face, one I don’t think I have ever seen. After I got a pair of sox out and put them on I stood in front of him. After a few minutes he looked up at me and just stared at me. I sat down on the bed next to him and sighed.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Nothing, it’s just… You shouldn’t have taken back what you said.

“Yes I did have to. What do you expect? This isn’t possible and I know that, I’ve always known that but I can’t help hoping…” I groaned and looked away.

The look in his eyes showed shock, pain and most of all heart break. I hadn’t noticed it but I had been crying softly. I stood up hoping that maybe if I left and just kept going he would leave me alone. But that was too much to ask for. He got up and stood in front of me. He lifted his hand and I shrank back thinking he was going to hit me but instead he softly wiped my tears away. He kept his hand against my cheek and just stared into my eyes looking for something or maybe just looking, I wasn’t sure. He looked at something behind me and then back at me. He gave me a soft lingering kiss on the lips then pulled away sighing.

“I have to go, we’ll talk later though.” He said not letting go.

“What, go where?”

“It’s almost sunrise but if you wouldn’t mind, I could stay here.”

I paused and looked at him; it wouldn’t be so bad if he stayed just this once. Even though, he’s stayed countless times before. It thought.

“Okay I’ll go then,” He started to say but I stopped him.

“I’ll get the shutters and curtains closed.” I said pulling away.

He nodded and went to the other side of the bed closing the ones on that side. As I closed the curtains on my side

I smiled. Maybe things will get better from here on out. Maybe… I got in bed next to Michel and he snuggled me closer to his body. He gave me a kiss on the forehead and in minutes he was asleep. I stayed there thinking about what had just happened then slowly drifted off to sleep.