Conflict and CoachingConflict and Coaching

Presented by Denise ReensPresented by Denise Reens

Written by Joanne Alexopoulos Written by Joanne Alexopoulos

and Susan Tinnishand Susan Tinnish

2003 Alpha Phi International Fraternity, Inc.

About Conflict…. About Conflict…. Normal UnavoidableOccurs naturally Behavior causes conflict, not

personalities

2003 Alpha Phi International Fraternity, Inc.

Scenario IScenario I

Brittany & Sarah

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Roots of ConflictRoots of Conflict

ValuesAgendas and PrioritiesWork StylesPersonalitiesMiscommunication

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Scenario IIScenario II

Carolyn & Ann

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Personality TypesPersonality Types

SilentMonopolizerIntimidatorNice GuyUnhappy Camper

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Scenario IIIScenario III

The Chapter

Executive Council

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Conflict IndicatorsConflict Indicators

Verbal and Nonverbal Body LanguageFacial ExpressionOpen disagreements Strong Public StatementsLack of Respect

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Scenario IV Scenario IV

Campus Committee

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Ugly ConflictUgly Conflict

Disagreements escalateLanguage or behavior creates

conflictRarely about issues Creates negative emotions Divides teams

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Productive ConflictProductive Conflict

Acknowledges diverse viewsHealthy exchange of ideasDialog leads to solutionsPromotes personal growthSolves problems effectively

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AvoidAvoidBoth parties loseWithdraw or side step issuesInterferes with problem solving Use only as short term strategy

Conflict StylesConflict Styles

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AccommodateAccommodate

I lose – you winPersonal needs are set asideUse when relationship is important

or the conflict is not importantShows cooperation

Conflict StylesConflict Styles

2003 Alpha Phi International Fraternity, Inc.

Conflict StylesConflict Styles

I win – you loseOutcome should be more important

than the relationship Used when an immediate decision

is requiredThe end should justify the means

CompeteCompete

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CollaborateCollaborate

Both parties winRequires a trusting relationshipOpen & honest communicationRelationship is unaffected or

improved

Conflict StylesConflict Styles

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Scenario VScenario V

Alpha Phi vs. Student Union

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Resolving ConflictResolving Conflict

Raise the issueDiscover underlying interestsInvent options for mutual gainDevelop agreements

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Scenario VIScenario VI

The New Chapter Adviser

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Effective ListeningEffective Listening

Developed skillTakes time and practiceIs an active, not passive activity

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Active ListeningActive Listening

Maintain eye contactAsk open ended questionsWatch body language/vocal toneRestate

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Diffusing AngerDiffusing Anger

Deal with issues immediatelyListen to the other personUse active listening skillsRemain calmFocus on the problemSeparate feelings from issues

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Scenario VIIScenario VII

Jean & Patricia

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Stimulate Productive ConflictStimulate Productive Conflict

Develop action planUnderstand conflict stylesIdentify the problem

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Problem Solving StepsProblem Solving Steps

Identify problemBrainstorm solutionsEvaluate optionsChose a solutionTake action

About About Denise ReensDenise Reens … …

Denise is Director of Training and Denise is Director of Training and Development at the Alpha Phi Development at the Alpha Phi Executive Office (EO.) Executive Office (EO.)

Denise is a former teacher and Denise is a former teacher and entrepreneur and served in a variety entrepreneur and served in a variety of volunteer roles before coming a of volunteer roles before coming a full-time staff member.full-time staff member.

Epsilon Delta/Epsilon Delta/Northern Illinois UniversityNorthern Illinois University

About About Joanne AlexopoulosJoanne Alexopoulos … …

Joanne’s experience and interests are highly diverse. Joanne’s experience and interests are highly diverse. She has designed and delivered professional skill and She has designed and delivered professional skill and team development workshops, for young people and team development workshops, for young people and adults, for over 10 years. adults, for over 10 years.

As an Alpha Phi volunteer, Joanne has served as an As an Alpha Phi volunteer, Joanne has served as an advisory board member and regional team member. advisory board member and regional team member.

In her professional life, Joanne develops programs and In her professional life, Joanne develops programs and partnerships for girls and women for the Girl Guides of partnerships for girls and women for the Girl Guides of Canada national office and works part-time helping her Canada national office and works part-time helping her clients reach their fitness and weight loss goals as a clients reach their fitness and weight loss goals as a personal fitness expert. personal fitness expert.

Xi/University of TorontoXi/University of Toronto

About About Susan TinnishSusan Tinnish … …

Susan, is a Principal Partner at SEAL Inc., a Susan, is a Principal Partner at SEAL Inc., a consulting firm. She contributed program consulting firm. She contributed program content and role-play scenarios for Conflict content and role-play scenarios for Conflict and Coaching. and Coaching.

Sue has worked on the Central Midwest Sue has worked on the Central Midwest Regional team and is a founder and past Regional team and is a founder and past president of the Northwest Suburban president of the Northwest Suburban Alumnae Group in the Chicagoland area.Alumnae Group in the Chicagoland area.

Beta/Northwestern UniversityBeta/Northwestern University

2003 Alpha Phi International Fraternity, Inc.

Conflict and CoachingConflict and Coachingwas made possible by gifts to the was made possible by gifts to the

Alpha Phi FoundationAlpha Phi Foundation

2003. Alpha Phi International Fraternity, Inc. “Conflict and Coaching.” All rights reserved. Reserved for the exclusive use of Alpha Phi International, Inc., members. No part of this presentation shall be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written permission of Alpha Phi International, Inc.