Counseling Gifted Children

Kara Hodges, MSMississippi State University

July 20, 2010

Parenting (counseling/working with) a gifted child is like driving off-road without a map

-- you may be able to discuss terrain similar to yours with others, but you are

going to need to navigate the driving yourself, making it up as you go. And

expect it to be bumpy!Mika Gustavson, MFT

Important to Know• Gifted kids share the same basic guidance needs as other children.

• BUT because they are so different in the type and level of their special abilities

and motivations, in their learning styles, and in other personal-social

characteristics, many times they require guidance and personalized counseling.

The Need for Counseling is Greatest When: 1)early adolescence, when many gifted students face achievement/affiliation conflicts 2) at points of transition from one type of school program to another (especially when the new program is more challenging than the old).

Some of the most common counseling issues for school age gifted children:

• Underachievement, stubbornness, overreactions, peer relationship difficulties,

intense sibling rivalry, poor self-concept, perfectionism, and depression (Webb et

al., 2005)

• Asynchrony of skill development, difficulty finding true peers and lack of

educational challenge (Boland & Gross, 2007)

• Highly gifted in general

education classes

• Twice-exceptional students

• Those questioning sexuality

• Cultural or ethnic minorities

• Gifted writers and visual

artists are more at risk for

mood disorders (Neihart & Olenchak, 2002)

Other subcategories that may be in need of counseling:

According to Mika Gustavson, MFT:• “My personal belief is that the quality of the rapport between the

therapist and the client is far more important than which approach the therapist uses.”

What about INDIVIDUAL VS FAMILY THERAPY?• “I see this question on a daily basis in my practice, and I have to say

it’s a very case by case thing.”• “One important factor that I see is how old/mature the child is.• “Many of the families that I work with have young school-age kids, and

I am finding that it is far more effective to see just the parent(s) and provide support and ideas to help them in supporting and raising their kids.”

• “There is transformation over time in what approach is best.”

What Type of Therapy Works Best?

Counseling Gifted ChildrenCounseling Gifted Children

• Bibliotherapy:Bibliotherapy: Using quality literature as a base or catalyst for discussing social and emotional experiences and issues.

“For gifted students, bibliotherapy is an effective way to introduce them to fictional peers and mentors -people like them (or like them in certain ways) whose lives, struggles and decisions are revealing and affirming.”Delisle and Galbraith (2002)

“This technique with gifted children has special advantages. It takes their strength areas, such as their ability to conceptualize, to generalize and to abstract, and allows them to use these strengths to support areas of need and personal growth.”Barbara Clark (1997)

According to Andrew S. Mahoney M.S., L.P.C., L.M.F.T.: To effectively work with gifted children, counselors need to:

• Be aware of the resources available for gifted children: support groups, parent organizations, educational opportunities, bibliographies, etc.

• Be creative in their approach to counseling. Conventional counseling methodologies may not be the best choice for relatively unconventional clientele.

• Remember that gifted children have exceptional abilities. It is easy to be fooled by exceptional intellect and interpersonal abilities.

• Ask for help. Exceptional cases require exceptional help. One of the main characteristics of gifted children is their strong sense of independence. Model interdependence and seek the insight of more knowledgeable colleagues.

• Gifted children often demonstrate deviant behavior. Counselors should be mindful of their value structures for deviant behavior and be conscious of their real feelings.

• Be an advocate. This may require you to expand your role as counselor by educating others involved with the child and coordinating services for them.

• Be yourself. Gifted children require authenticity in relationships. They see right through manufactured methodologies. They seek and require relatedness in their interactions.

Don’t Forget The Parents! • Parents of gifted children also experience unique issues such

as feelings of parental inadequacy and confusion about the role they should play when schools are not meeting their child’s needs.

• Group Counseling is helpful preventative strategy if there are trained counselors available to create and run the groups in the school systems. These can be done at any grade level and can help both the child and the parents.

• Support groups for parents of gifted students have been a focus of SENG (Social and Emotional Needs of the Gifted), which has produced an excellent guide for facilitators of parental support groups.

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Support Groups for Parents

• Parents can see that they did not create the difficulties their children are having through poor parenting, and they can trade ideas and solutions.

• A group just for parents also provides them an opportunity to replenish themselves and look after their own needs. The intensities of raising gifted children, especially if one lives an intense life already, require enormous energy and focus, and it can really wear a parent down. 

What The Kids Say:• Don’t like to feel patronized by simplistic languaging

– It’s better to err on the side of overestimating vocabulary and understanding

• Don’t like an “overly optimistic” presentation from the counselor– “She had this kind of fake smile on her face all the time.”– “She always wanted me to think positive.”– “He just wanted to pretend that everything was good”

• Use Appropriate humor

ResourcesNeihart, M., Reis, S., Robinson, N., Moon, S. (1991). The Social and

Emotional Development of Gifted Children: What Do We Know. (pp. 213-219)Washington, DC: Prufrock Press

Milgram, R. M. (1991). Counseling Gifted and Talented Children. Norwood, New Jersey: Ablex

Moon, S., Hall, A., (1998). Family therapy with intellectually and creatively gifted children. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, Retrieved July 14, 2010, from www.findarticles.com

Wessling, S., (2010, Janurary 13). An interview with therapist for the gifted family, Mika Gustavson. Examiner. Retrieved July 12, 2010, from http://www.examiner.com/x-33270-Gifted-Children-Examiner~y2010m1d13-An-interview-with-therapist-for-the-gifted-family-Mika-Gustavson

Mahoney, A. (n.d.).Counseling The Gifted. Retrieved July 12, 2010, from http://www.counselingthegifted.com/bio.html