Dachau Concentration Camp Response

8/12/2019 Dachau Concentration Camp Response

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Dear Family and Friends,

As some of you may be aware, I had traveled to Dachau Germany on Saturday where the

first concentration camp was created as the base model for all other concentration camps and

extermination camps throughout the Nazi Germany and other countries in Europe. I had

forewarned many of you that this would be an emotional and psychological draining day and it

turned out to be more so than I had imagined. We have all seen pictures of concentration camps

and extermination camps of the mangled, stick-like bodies stacked on top of each other and as

many of us see these images, we think that this event can never happen again. Never again will

6 million people of a single race be completely wiped out. Humanity wont allow it. During the

several different readings and discussions of several different books and articles, the class came

out of the discussions with an understanding that this did happen and will happen again. In a

fallen world, Satan is winning and humanity is very capable of being blind to the truth. I wanted

to share this with all of you because it was something that I learned and something that I had

grown more aware of through the discussions during this trip as well as the different museums

and historical sites we visited.Since I have now had time to reflect on my visit to Dachau, I want to describe one

extremely emotional moment with those who are closest to me. As I walked around Dachau, I

just tried to imagine myself as a prisoner of the concentration camp. Even though it wasnt an

extermination camp, thousands of people died at this camp from exhaustion by overwork or even

executions of political prisoners. One moment that extremely was emotional for me was when I

went into one gas chamber where political prisoners and Jews were killed with the use of

poisonous gas. I thought it was only fitting to the millions of lives lost to go through the

experience as one the innocent lives lost. I wanted to share my thoughts as I went through the

waiting room, the disrobing room, and the gas chamber. Because I tried to be in the mindset that

I was one about to die, it might be hard to read for some but I wanted to share my experiencewith you while it is fresh in my memory even though a memory like this will always be with me.

As I walked through the Large Crematorium in the back of the camp, I read a plaque that

described it. It was built between May 1942 and April 1943. Its purpose was to serve as a

killing facility and to remove the dead. The gas chamber in the middle of the building was not

used for mass murder but it said that survivors have testified that the SS did, however, murder

individual prisoners and small groups here using poison gas. Victims had lost their lives in this

specific gas chamber.

As I walked into the crematorium, I waited in a white blank room where the victims

would be informed on how to use the showers since the SS soldiers told them that is why they

were there. The next room was the disrobing room where the victims would disrobe before

entering the gas chambers. The clothes would then be gathered after the group entered the gas

chambers to their deaths and the next small group would enter and repeat the same procedure.

This next room was the most emotionally difficult for me to experience and might be difficult to

read but I urge you to continue reading if you can as I hope to show you what I learned.

As I walked into the gas chamber, I felt a shiver go down my spine and immediately felt


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the wall. Others before me felt that wall as they took their last breathes. I walked around for a

little bit. I saw a sign that said that this room was disguised as showers and was even equipped

with fake shower sprouts to mislead the victims and prevent them from refusing to enter the

room. During a period of 15 to 20 minutes up to 150 people at a time could be suffocated to

death through prussic acid poison gas (Zyklon B). The next decision I made is the reason I

wanted to write all of you. I decided to sit down in one spot of the gas chamber, in the corner,

and try to contemplate the next 15 minutes being the last 15 minutes I was alive.

Even though there were constant tourists walking in and out, I tried to not let that bother

me because realistically, there would be several other people around me if I were a victim in that

gas chamber. I want you all to understand that I did this to try and understand what it would feel

like to have only 15 minutes to live and tried to my utmost ability to actually feel that. As I sat

down in the corner, I put down my phone and started the timer. Not many of the victims would

know that they had 15 minutes to live but it was difficult to block that out of my conscious as I

sat there. To the best of my ability, I tried to describe the thoughts and questions I thought as I

imagined dying on the cold floor.As I imagined the door slamming shut and the prussic acid poison gas being released into

the chamber, I knew that I was going to die. Death was inevitable. I imagined others trying

frantically to escape and bang against the door but for me, there was no use. As I slowly sat

down against the wall in the corner of my room I thought of my family and their fates. I

wouldnt be able to see my parents again. No longer could I enjoy my parents warm embrace?

What was the last thing I said to them? Do they know that I love them? Did I make that clear

before we were separated? Did I let them down? Are they disappointed in me that I was about

to die and most likely never see them again? Will I ever see them again? As I imagined my

death drawing nearer, for some reason I had a wrenching feeling in my gut. I didnt need to

imagine this feeling. I tried to imagine my throat burning from the gas but it was too hard to putthat upon myself. Ibegan to realize how alone I actually was. I didnt have someone to hold

tight as my existence began to diminish. I was all alone about to die without a loved one in sight.

My mind started to wander about my family. Did my family receive the same fate? Are they

even alive? (A friend and I had a discussion later that night which brought up this thought)

What if they are waiting for this death on the other side of the door? Please dont let it happen to

them. I felt helpless. There was nothing I could do to stop what was going to happen to me and

my family except just let it happen. I almost began to wish that they were all with me so that I

wouldnt be alone. That I could die in the arms of my family. At least then I wouldnt feel

forgotten. One scene I actually did see and I didnt have to imagine was the comforting of others

in the room. Three college females were all in the room crying and began to embrace each other

for comfort. As I looked up, it was a surreal moment because this is what would have happened.

Friends would have clung to friends. Children would have clung to their mothers. Husbands

would have held their wives. Where was this comfort for me? This is where it really hit me that

I was truly alone. Where was my friend to hold? Where was my family to cling to? Why had

God done this to me? What had I done to deserve this fate? Where are you? Do you even exist?


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My thoughts began to shift to what happened after this life. Was there life after-death? I had

grown up thinking that a God loved me and now He sat there watching as His chosen people

were suffocated, dying a slow agonizing death alone. Were these last five minutes, all I had of

my existence or was there more? Its hard to imagine that there was if the God I believed in was

allowing this to happen to me. Time was running out and I began to think about the life I

wouldnt be able to live or the moments I would never be able to enjoy. I wouldnt be able to

experience real love or have that moment when you know that one woman is the one person I

want to spend the rest of my life with. I wouldnt be able to see my wife walk down the aisle. I

wouldnt know what it felt like to hold my son or daughter in my arms or watch them grow up.

Wouldnt be able to see my children have kids. I wouldnt be able to grow old. My life was

being cut so short. There were so many things that I aspired to do. So many things I regretted

not doing. So many thoughts wandered through my mind almost to the point where you couldnt

find a connection in my thoughts. 15 minutes felt like an eternity. I had the advantage of

knowing how much time I had left. They didnt. They could probably feel it but they had no

idea when the breath they took would be their last. As I sat there with about a minute ofexistence left, my breaths got shorter. My thoughts of loved ones and friends got more sporadic.

Did I let them all down? Had my life fulfilled a purpose? What had I accomplished in 21

years? Why me? The last ten seconds took even longer than the previous 14 minutes and 50

seconds. My life was ending and I couldnt stop it. I looked around one last time and it was

over. I was just another dead corpse that the Nazis had eliminated. I was of no significance to

anyone and just another person closer to complete extermination of the Jewish race.

At this moment, I put my head in between my knees and prayed. I thanked him for the

gift of life and breath. Also, for never having that feeling that I was alone. Amongst other

things, I prayed for the victims that suffered the fate that I had tried to imagine I experienced. I

will never know why these atrocities happened or for what reason but I prayed that Hisknowledge and grand scheme was above my finite understanding and would be revealed one day

in eternity. It was a humbling moment to stand up and even though I tried to imagine what those

15 minutes would feel like, I never would be able to put myself in that scenario. I would never

be able to understand what those victims were thinking in those gas chambers as they were

dying, fighting for breath. To the best of my ability, these were the thoughts that I tried to

remember while I was in the gas chamber and wanted to share them with all of you as my

experience at Dachau.

I didnt mean to write this to depress all of you and ruin your day but I wanted to express

to all of you how grateful I am for your love these past years. An experience like that humbled

me to the point where I started to realize how unbelievably easy I have it compared to others.

You are all a big part of that. Many of you also wanted to hear about my experiences on this trip

and I felt inclined to share my journey at Dachau with all of you however depressing and

difficult it may be. I guess I just wanted to share this story with you all to show you how truly

blessed and thankful I am for each and every one of you in my life. Also, I came to understand

how even if none of my friends and family are around, or by me, or even alive, I am never alone


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because of my faith. God is always my companion and maybe I didnt know that before. Maybe

it took a dark and depressing place like the cold floor of the gas chambers at Dachau to realize

that. I love you all and am constantly thinking of you.

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Dachau Concentration Camp Response