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DAPPERT H E G R O O M ’ S G U I D E

Dapper is a wedding guide for men. This magazine is designed to lead grooms, best men, wedding parties, and other men to a successful wedding day. Luckily for you, we laid it out chronologically, starting from engagement all the way to the reception. Dapper has your back. We’re here to help you from start to finish. The layout goes through the key phases of the wedding process: ENGAGEMENT, FASHION, CEREMONY, and RECEPTION.

DON’T BE LATEFOR YOUR WEDDING DATE

3Table of Contents

11ENGAGEMENTThe engagement period includes asking for the blessing, picking the right ring, and then popping the question.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

ASKING FOR THE BLESSING

PUT A RING ON IT 14

BE A BETTER BEST MAN 22

7171

141453

33SUITE AND TIEThere are options ranging from the classy traditional black tux to colored and pat-terned suits.

SUIT AND TIE

ACCESSORIES 35

CELEBRITY FASHION 37

4 Table of Contents

CEREMONYThe ceremony is a blur so it is best to be fully aware of what is happening before the wedding day.

FEATURING

37373333

8181

WEDDING BAR GUIDE

TRADITIONS 71

TOASTS 77

RECEPTION ETIQUETTE 81

RECEPTION: BAR GUIDEMany people will tell you the best part of a wedding is the open bar, but we want you acting Dapper at the Reception.

49

65WEDDING BAR GUIDE65WEDDING BAR GUIDEacting Dapper at the Reception. 65acting Dapper at the Reception.

I PROMISE YOU

CEREMONY SEQUENCE 53

DEALING WITH BRIDEZILLA 55

WEDDING FEVER 58

TO THE

FLY ME

MOON.yes dear.

THE GUYS AND GALS WHO MAKE DAPPER AS DAPPER AS IT CAN BE

ContributorsCameron BrownJordan Hill Lauren Sati Shelby LemonNora KanallyCeleb Crush: Justin TimberlakeFavorite Food: TacosPotential 1st Wedding Song: Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-A-LotIdeal 1st Date: Dinner then movie night at either houseWost Date: My fi rst date with my previous girlfriend the waitress said I was at that same restaurant, same table with a dif-ferent girl the previ-ous day. The waitress then pulled my date away and told her not trust me for anything. she obviously didn’t get a good tip.Feature: Be a Better Best ManDepartment: Put a Ring on It

Celeb Crush: Justin TimberlakeFavorite Food: Anything with chickenPotential 1st Wedding Song: I would dance to anything sung by Michael BubleIdeal First Date: Going to the zoo or arboretum then a delicious meal with drinksWorst Date:My fi rst boyfriend and I went to the ice skating rink. He got on the ice without me started skating really fast in hockey skates. Before I could even get my skates on, I fi nd out he fell hard on the ice and received a large cut above his eyebrow.Feature: BridezillaDepartment: Reception

Celeb crush: Justin TimberlakeFavorite Food: MexicanPotential 1stWedding song: Hey Pretty Girl by Kip MooreIdeal 1st Date: Dinner at a cool new restaurant, then go for a nice stroll around townWost Date: One of my fi rst dates I ever went on was with an older guy. He owned a car, but was grounded from it, so his mom had to take us to dinner and pick us up. She was a nice lady though, I think I liked her more than I liked the guy.Feature: Reception EtiquetteDepartment: Suit and Tie

Celeb crush: Justin TimberlakeFavorite Food:Coffee (It’s a food group)Potential 1st Wedding Song: God Gave Me You by Dave BarnesIdeal 1st ate: Bowling and exploring downtownWorst Date: The weather likes to rain on my parade- but really. I went to a Royals Baseball game and it was raining and cold. I was cranky, awkward with my date, and looked like a drowned cat. What happened next? I was put on the jumbotron. Feature: TraditionsDepartment: Ceremony and Wedding Vows

Celeb crush: Justin TimberlakeFavorite Food:PizzaPotential 1st Wedding Song: It’s A Wonderful World by Louis ArmstrongIdeal 1st Date: Lunch, ice cream, and a walk through a park. Worst Date: For my senior prom, this guy was going to ask me, but then chickened out. So I didn’t think I was going, until the week of prom when his best friend awkwardly asked me, and it was such an awkward prom night because of that.Feature: Celebrity FashionDepartment: Asking for the Blessing

she obviously didn’t get a good tip.Feature:Be a Better Best ManDepartment:Put a Ring on It

skates. Before I could even get my skates on, I fi nd out he fell hard on the ice and received a large cut above his eyebrow.Feature:BridezillaDepartment:Reception

lady though, I think I liked her more than I liked the guy.Feature:Reception EtiquetteDepartment:Suit and Tie

happened next? I was put on the jumbotron. Feature:TraditionsDepartment:Ceremony and Wedding Vows

asked me, and it was such an awkward prom night because of that.Feature:Celebrity FashionDepartment:Asking for the Blessing

COLE HAAN

NE W YORK SINCE 1837T IFFANY & CO.

ENGAGEMENTEverything from asking for the blessing to how to pick out the perfect ring. What you want and need to know about popping the question so you have the smoothest, most enjoyable engagement possible.

BUYING THE RING

ASKING FOR THE BLESSING

BE A BETTER BEST MAN

12 Asking for the Blessing

ENGAGEMENT

Asking for the wedding blessing dates back to ancient times when marriage arrangements were made. It shows that you have respect for her parents and their wishes. Asking for a wedding blessing is definitely fading out, but it’s shows you are a gentlemen, and that you consider their thoughts and feelings for your loved one.

((

THE BIG QUESTION BEFORE THE “BIG” QUESTION

No matter who you are asking, you might be a little nervous, But you’ve got to do it. Once you get the blessing you’ll probably feel bet-ter about popping the question.

Depending on your bride to be, and her family situation, you may or may not be asking he fa-ther for a blessing. Instead you might be asking her mother, older brother, mother and father, or some other family member.

Who are you asking?

SO WHY DO YOU HAVE TO ASK FOR PERMISSION?

Some History

BEFORE YOU POP THE QUESTION, YOU MIGHT HAVE TO ASK FOR HER HAND

IN MARRIAGE. SO HOW DO YOU ASK FOR THE BLESSING? WHO ARE ASKING?

AND HOW DO GET OVER BEING NERVOUS?

ASKING FOR THE BLESSING

DAPPER’S GUIDE TO

13Asking for the Blessing

EXPLAINEXPRESS

PROMISE NOW ASK

HELPFUL HINTSA BASIC STEP BY STEP GUIDE TO GET THE BLESSING

I think the best way to start off the conversation is to express to the father your love and admira-tion for his daughter. Tell him how much she means to you. Mention some specific qualities that you love about her. He raised her, so you are really complimenting him at the same time.

Now it’s time to cut to the chase. Explain your wish to marry his daughter. Assure him that you understand the seriousness of the commitment and that being able to spend the rest of your life with his daughter would make you the hap-piest man in the world.

Put yourself in this man’s shoes. He’s been the man in her life since she was baby. He’s taken care of her since she was in diapers and only wants the best for her. He wants to know that he’s handing off his little girl to someone that will take just as good care of her as he has. Make the commitment that you’ll always honor, respect, and cherish his daughter.

Now, just request the blessing and support in you asking for her daughter’s hand in marriage.

Be calm

Be confident

To take a deep breath

Why you love her

But just remember

Asking for a blessing shows you care. Her family cares too, so they will appreciate you taking the time and energy to do this.

1 2

3 4

Section Title14

15Put a Ring on It

ENGAGEMENT

1. DO YOUR RESEARCHBefore you set a budget, fi nd

out exact what your future fi -

ancée may want – and how

much that ring’s style, cut, and

weight would potentially cost.

Be sure to visit many

locations to compare

prices. online retailers

offer exceptional ways

to learn to shop with a

no stress environment.

2. CARAT, CUT, OR CLARITYIf you must sacrifi ce one area

when buying a diamond engage-

ment ring, decide whether size

or quality is most important.

3. INSURANCEIf your ring is going to have a

high material or sentimental

value, you should have it in-

sured. You could fi nd a com-

pany or check your renters or

homeowners policy.

4. TIMEOnce you’ve narrowed down

your choices, fi gure out exactly

how long it will take to create

the ring, so you can plan your

proposal accordingly.

PUT A RING ON ITHOW MUCH TO SPEND ON AN ENGAGEMENT RING

ENGAGEMENT DO’S AND DON’TS

Even more nerve-racking than the proposal is the price of the engagement ring.

The age-old adage of spending two months salary on a ring may no longer hold true

during these economic times. So how much should you spend on that ring? Consult

this handy guide before taking the plunge.

FACTORS WHEN SETTING A BUDGET

$$$

Put a Ring on It16

ENGAGEMENT

How much should you actually spend on an en-gagement ring? The answer depends on the economic situation of each couple. The usual rule of thumb created by society, two months salary, does not work for many couples in the current economy. Ac-cording to the current data, couples getting married are

only spending approximate 12% OR 1.5 MONTHS SALARY. Using this stan-dard, we calculated how much you should spend based on yearly income.

$15,000INCOME $50,000 $90,000$30,000 $70,000 $110,000

$6,000

$10,800

$13,200

$3,600

$1,300

$8,400

SETTING A PRICE

MILLION DOLLAR RING CLUB

JAY-Z & BEYONCE$5 Million

NICK CANNON & MARIAH CAREY:$2.5 Million

PARIS HILTON & PARIS LATSIS:$4.7 Million

SEAL & HEIDI KLUM$2 Million

TOM CRUISE & KATIE HOLMES$1.5 Million

DONALD & MELANIA TRUMP:$3 Million

$13,200

18 Put a Ring on It

ENGAGEMENT

CUTA good cut gives a diamond its beauty. The angle and

fi nish determines how light passes through and is re-

fl ected by the diamond.

CLARITYThe clarity refers to the presence of blemishes or inclu-

sions on the stone. The fewer the inclusions, the higher

the clarity grade.

COLORBright, colorful diamonds can fetch a higher price due to

their rarity, though many brides-to-be fi nd them tacky for

engagement and wedding rings.

CARATCarat is a unit of measurement used to weigh a diamond.

One carat is equal to 2 grams.

WHAT AFFECTS THE PRICE OF THE RING?

POINT CUT TABLE CUT

MAZARIN CUT

OLD SINGLE CUT

PERUZZI CUT

Section Title 19Be a Better Best Man 22

HE’S YOUR BEST FRIEND. You’ve known him since you were kids. You’re his wing-man: the Dy-namic Duo, Maverick and Goose. You were there the night he met his girlfriend. You encouraged him to go and talk to her. And now, five years later, he’s finally popped the question: Will you be his Best Man?

Be a Better Best ManFrom the Bachelor Party to Wedding Speeches

22 Be a Better Best Man

ENGAGEMENT

It’s costing tens of thousands of dol-lars. And your speech as “The Best Man” will be the main event. After all, you have always been the funny one. Then there’s the other stuff: Get-ting measured for suits, not losing the wedding ring. You read something once about the bridesmaids toast (but no one seems to know how or why this happens). And of course, you have to organize the all important “bachelor party.” Like Napoleon surveying the vast Russian Steppe in 1812, the enormity of your task starts to sink in.

Measuring Up The Groom might ask you for help in choosing the wedding attire for the groomsmen. In most cases this will involve selecting a suit hire company that is conveniently located, arrang-ing a fi tting session for the group and organizing the collection and safe re-turn of the suits. You must not intrude too much on the groom for he has the fi nal say, but help him choose some-thing that everyone would enjoy wear-ing. FITTINGS ARE ESSENTIAL FOR EV-ERY MEMBER OF THE GROOMS PARTY, YOU DON’T WANT TO COME SLUTCHING IN WITH A SUIT THAT IS TOO BIG.

The Bachelor PartyThe biggest responsibility you will

have as the Best Man is planning the last night out. The fi rst is to plan a bachelor’s party for your buddy. When most people hear bachelor party, they

think keg stands and g-strings. Men may be surprised to learn that the tradition of having a bachelor party is rooted in ancient times. The Spar-tans, who originated the idea in the 5th century BC, would hold a dinner for the groom-to-be on the night be-fore his wedding. The evening would be spent feasting and toasting the groom and each other. The tradition of having a bachelor’s dinner contin-ued into modern times. In the 1940’s and 1950’s the occasion was called a “Gentlemen’s Dinner.” This dinner was thrown by the groom’s father and involved the same toasting and eating that the Spartans had enjoyed. These bachelor dinners were designed for male bonding and to celebrate the groom-to-be’s important rite of pas-sage from single life to marriage. Remember this is not your stag do. Whatever fantasies you might have about fl ying helicopters, racing dune buggies or carousing in the fl esh pots of Amsterdam need to be put to one side. Ask the Groom what he wants to do and who he wants to invite. Do not impose an agenda on him. Once the outline has been agreed you will need to organize invitations for the stag party, make the hotel and other reservations and think about mundane issues like transport and logistics. Check that any bars you might be planning to visit are happy to take stag parties. If the plan is to go abroad you will need to ensure that the group have valid passports, visas and insurance. Remember that the best stag dos are planned carefully in advance, not improvised by a group of

well-meaning drunks on the streets of Newcastle, Dublin or Riga at 2 o’clock in the morning!

The “Do” Itself Contrary to common wisdom on a stag do, it is not the job of the Best Man to get spectacularly drunk, hu-miliate the Groom by shaving, tat-tooing or otherwise exposing their private parts, or to live out their own stag fantasies. PRIMARILY, YOUR JOB IS TO ENSURE THE DAY OR WEEKEND RUNS SMOOTHLY, THE GROOM HAS A FANTASTIC TIME AND EVENTUALLY HE GETS HOME SAFELY. Any problems that emerge during the day will be your re-sponsibility to resolve. Everyone else will look to you for leadership. Expect little help from other party members, especially with alcohol involved. Contrary to common wisdom on a stag do, it is not the job of the Best Man to get spectacularly drunk, hu-miliate the Groom by shaving, tattoo-ing or otherwise exposing their private parts, or to live out their own stag fan-tasies. Primarily, your job is to ensure the day or weekend runs smoothly, the Groom has a fantastic time and even-tually he gets home safely. Any prob-lems that emerge during the day will be your responsibility to resolve.

Section Title 23

24 Be a Better Best Man

Blazer

H&M – $60

Vest

H&M – $45

Shirt

Uniqlo – $30

Tie

J-Crew – $20

Wedding Day Duties It is your responsibility to get the Groom out of bed, cleaned up and dressed presentably, and importantly transported to the church in good time. He will undoubtedly be ner-vous so be supportive and don’t make things worse! MAKE SURE THAT YOU HAVE THE WEDDING RINGS SAFE IN YOUR INSIDE JACKET POCKET. You will be asked to present them during the service. Also ensure you know where the church is a good suggestion is to drive the route beforehand. You may also be responsible for or-ganizing the Ushers, and for getting the guests seated in the right place. This will vary from wedding to wed-ding but try to take as much pressure off of him as you can.

You may also be responsible for or-ganizing the Ushers, and for getting the guests seated in the right place. This will vary from wedding to wed-ding but try to take as much pressure off of him as you can. It is your responsibility to get the Groom out of bed, cleaned up and dressed presentably, and importantly transported to the church in good time. He will undoubtedly be nervous so, be supportive and do not make things worse! Make sure that you have the wedding rings safely secured in your inside jacket pocket. You will be asked to present them during the service. Also ensure you know where the church is a good suggestion is to drive the route beforehand. You may also be responsible for organizing the

Bachelor Party Reminders:

Don’t Assume: Beacuse you want a

crazy night doesn’t mean the groom does

Find Someone to Drive

DO NOT DO IT THE NIGHT BEFORE

Divide the Costs (the groom shouldn’t

have to pay a cent)

Choose Guests Wisely

Avoid Pictures

Keep it Simple

Section Title 25

Groomsmen Don’tsDON’T GET DRUNK BEFORE THE CEREMONY. This also includes the implied “Don’t get the groom drunk before

the ceremony.” Sure, enjoy a beer or a few sips of whiskey to

calm the nerves or to celebrate as you get dressed. But showing

up to this momentous event with a buzz on is disrespectful, and

will be noticed.

DON’T WEAR SUNGLASSES. Yes, even if it’s a bright, sunny day. They look tacky in wedding

photos, there are just no two ways about it. You can put those

Ray Bans or Oakleys back on after the ceremony and portrait

session. But please, don’t go all Corey Feldman and don them

all night.

DON’T ARRIVE UNPREPARED TO DRESS UP.If we hadn’t seen a groomsman take his shirt out of the plastic

package a mere moments before game time, we’d think this goes

without saying. Make sure your clothing is ironed and present-

able the night before. Learn how to fold that pocket square and

tie your bow tie. Wear matching socks.

DON’T MENTION AN EX DURING YOUR TOAST. As in the groom’s, but probably not your own either. Plenty of

brides will gamely smile their way through this faux pas, but oth-

ers won’t, so save everyone the awkwardness and don’t bring her

up at all. Your pal’s wedding day is about looking forward to the

future, not dwelling in the past.

“SO LONG AS WE ARE LOVED BY OTHERS

I SHOULD SAY THAT WE ARE ALMOST

UNBREAKABLE; AND NO MAN IS

USELESS WHILE HE HAS A FRIEND.”— Robert Louis Stevenson

28 Be a Better Best Man

Ushers, and for getting the guests seated in the right place. This will vary from wedding to wedding but try to take as much pressure off of him as you can. You may also be responsi-ble for organizing the Ushers, and for getting the guests seated in the right place. This will vary from wedding to wedding but try to take as much pres-sure off of him as you can.

The Speech So it’s already D-Day and Zero Hour is fast approaching. Everyone has told you repeatedly how much they are looking forward to your speech. Some have asked you to make last minute changes reminding you of some hi-larious incident or other that MUST be in your speech. Be strong and re-sist their requests. Your speech was (hopefully) written well in advance. So it’s already D-Day and Zero Hour is fast approaching. Everyone has told you repeatedly how much they are looking forward to your speech. Some have asked you to make last minute

changes reminding you of some hilari-ous incident or other that MUST be in your speech. Be strong and resist their requests. Your speech was (hopefully) written well in advance. You have avoided clichéd wedding jokes, you have included some stories about the Groom as a teenager, described the night he met his bride to be and in-corporated a carefully worded report on the stag do! You have practiced your delivery in front of a trusted friend. You have written it onto hand cards which are securely placed in your inside pocket. You are sober, focused and ready to deliver! (For more on Best Man Speeches, turn to page 72)

During the Wedding Planning

Help Groom Choose Tuxes

Organize Tuxedo Fitting

Plan Bachelor Party

Organize Groomsman gift

for groom

Before the Wedding

Organize departure from

the reception

Confi rm couple’s honey-

moon reservation

At Rehearsal Dinner

Attend the Rehearsal

Organize who will toast

Give the second toast

(after the father of the groom)

At Home, Wedding Day

Help groom get dressed

Take charge of the rings

Make sure groom has

wedding license with him

At the Ceremony

Take a head count

Make sure all groomsmen

are there on time, dressed

appropriately, and ready

To seat guests if they are

ushering

Make sure all groomsmen

have boutonnières and are

attached properly

Get help from the fl orist

or wedding coordinator

Check in to make sure the ring

bearer knows what he needs to do

(If there is a ring bearer)

Stand by the groom’s side

while waiting for the ceremony

to start

Best Man Check List:

Hand the groom the rings if

there is no ring bearer

Escort the maid of honor

down the aisle

Return to escort the Mother

of the Bride

After the Ceremony

Sign the marriage license as an

offi cial witness

Drive the couple to the

reception if there is no limo

At the Reception

Act as a host

Welcome guests, mingle, make

introductions

Organize groomsmen for formal

photographs

Organize who’ll be giving toasts

Determine the toast order, give

the fi rst toast

Dance with the bride and the

Maid of Honor

(expect to also dance with the

mothers of the bride and groom)

Help the groom change into

honeymoon clothes, if the couple

is leaving directly from the

reception

Take charge of the groom’s tux

and return it or have it cleaned

Take charge of gift envelopes to

hold until the couple’s return

Have either the decorated car or

limo waiting to take the newlyweds

from the reception

When they’re ready to heave,

help them make their escape

Notes:

Tear Here

Tear Here

Tear Here

Tear Here

NEVER HIDE

FASHIONMens fashion is important too. In this department, you’ll fi nd alternative ways to dress on your big day, and smaller accessories that you can use to make your style unique. If you have no clue how you want to dress, look for your favorite celebrity and where they buy their suits.

UNIQUE ACCESSORIES

ALTERNATIVE STYLES

CELEBRITY SUITS

Section Title32

SUIT AND TIE

Blazer

Brooks Brothers

$60

Bow Tie

Brooks Brothers

$25

Boutonnière

Homegrown

33Suit and Tie

This is for the grooms out there that aren’t afraid to have their own unique style, to break out of the status quo and assert their independence from the traditional tuxedo. And we have some ideas to help you guys break the mold - from modern twists on a classic, to a complete 180 on what you think a groom should look like. You can change up your look on your big day in a lot of different ways. From making your cuffl inks into bullets (bottom left) or hav-ing a unique boutineer that matches your bow tie. Adding a personal touch will make it that much more special.

12

3

4

36 Suit and Tie

5

6777

8

10

9

11

FASHION

37Suit and Tie

(Numbers 1-4 are from page 35) 1) Shirt, Tie, Vest | Mens Warehouse | $195 2) Shirt and Bow Tie | J.Crew | $120 3) Suit |

Jos. A. Bank | $500 4) Cuff Links | Etsy | $30 5) Tie Clip | Etsy | $50 6) Tie | J.Crew | $60 7) Bow Ties | Knotty.com | $40 8)

Boutonniere | Etsy | $20 9) Suspenders | Mens Warehouse | $80 10) Cuff Links | Etsy | $70 11) Personalized Alcohol | Cork

& Barrel | $55 12) Sun Glasses | Oakley | $150 13) Watch | Fossil | $200 14) Shoes | Cole Haan | $130 15) Socks | Happy

Socks | $20 16) Shoes | Custom Converse on Etsy | $70 17) Shoes | Allen Edmonds | $250

12

13 14

15

16

17

WANT TO LOOK LIKE JAMES BOND or Justin Timberlake? Or least be inspired by their fashion choices on your wedding day. Find out how to dress like the stars from the 50’s to now. Where you can buy your wedding day ensemble, and how much it will cost.

Celebrity Wedding FashionFrom Old Hollywood to Now

Cary Grant January 18, 1904 – November 29, 1986) was an English stage and Holly-wood fi lm actor who became an American citizen in 1942. Known for his transatlantic accent, debonair demeanor and “dashing good looks”, Grant is considered one of classic Hollywood’s defi ni-tive leading men. Grant was named the second Greatest Male Star of All Time (after Humphrey Bogart) by the American Film Institute. He was known for comedic and dramatic roles; his best-known fi lms include Bring-ing Up Baby (1938), The Philadelphia Story (1940), Suspicion (1941), Arsenic and Old Lace (1944), Notori-ous (1946), To Catch a Thief (1955), An Affair to Remem-ber (1957), North by North-west (1959), and Charade (1963). Nominated twice for the Academy Award for Best Actor (Penny Serenade and None But the Lonely Heart) and fi ve times for a Golden Globe Award for Best Actor, Grant was continually passed over. In 1970, he was pre-sented an Honorary Oscar at the 42nd Academy Awards by Frank Sinatra “for his unique mastery of the art of screen acting with the respect and affection of his colleagues”

The style icon and actor

CLASSIC HOLLYWOOD STYLE

CARY GRANT

Suit

J.Crew – $200

Tie

Macy’s – $50

Shirt

Nordstrom – $30

SEAN CONNERY

The ultimate secret agent

AGENT 007

Sir Thomas Sean Connery Kt. born 25 August 1930 is a Scottish actor and producer who has won an Academy Award, two BAFTA Awards (one of them being a BAFTA Academy Fellowship Award) and three Golden Globes (in-cluding the Cecil B. DeMille Award and a Henrietta Award). He was knighted by Elizabeth II in July 2000, and received the Kennedy Center Honors in the US. Connery is best known for portraying the character James Bond, starring in seven Bond fi lms between 1962 and 1983 (six Eon Productions fi lms and the non-Eon Thun-derball remake, Never Say Never Again). In 1988, Con-nery won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for his role in The Untouchables. His fi lm career also includes such fi lms as Marnie, The Name of the Rose, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, The Hunt for Red October, Highlander, Murder on the Orient Express, Dragon-heart, and The Rock.

Tuxedo

Dillard’s – $200

Tie

H&M – $20

Shirt

Uniqlo – $40

CLASSIC HOLLYWOOD STYLE

PAUL NEWMAN

Paul Leonard Newman (Jan-uary 26, 1925 – September 26, 2008) was an American actor, fi lm director, entrepre-neur, humanitarian, profes-sional racing driver, auto racing team owner and auto racing enthusiast. He won numerous awards, including an Academy Award for best actor for his performance in the 1986 Martin Scorsese fi lm The Color of Money and eight other nominations, six Golden Globe Awards (including three honorary ones), a BAFTA Award, a Screen Actors Guild Award, a Cannes Film Festival Award, an Emmy Award, and many honorary awards. He also won several national championships as a driver in Sports Car Club of America road racing, and his race teams won several cham-pionships in open wheel IndyCar racing.

The style icon and actor

Suit

Macy’s – $150

Tie

H&M – $30

Shirt

Macy’s – $40

BEAT MAKER

Kasseem Dean (born Sep-tember 13, 1978),[n 1] bet-ter known by his stage name Swizz Beatz, is an American hip hop recording artist, re-cord producer, and compos-er from New York City, New York. Born and raised in The Bronx, he began his music career as a disc jockey (DJ) and has since added rapper, record executive, creative director, fashion designer and painter to his repertoire. At the age of 16, he gained recognition in the hip hop industry through his friend-ship and work with East Coast rapper DMX and the Ruff Ryders Entertainment record label. Dean has so far released two of his albums under the label; the fi rst, a compilation titled Swizz Beatz Presents G.H.E.T.T.O. Stories, released in 2002 and his debut studio album One Man Band Man, re-leased in 2007. About.com ranked him #27 on its list of the “Top 50 Greatest Hip-Hop Producers,” while The Source placed him on its list of the “20 greatest produc-ers” in the magazine’s 20-year history. Fellow American rapper and music producer Kanye West, has also praised Dean, calling him “the best rap producer of all time.”

HIP HOPSTYLE

SWISS BEATZ

Suit

Brook’s Brothers

$300

Shirt

J.Crew – $60

Shirt

Uniqlo – $30

Tie

J-Crew – $20

Ryan Thomas Gosling (born November 12, 1980) is a Canadian actor, director, writer and musician. He began his career as a child star on the Disney Channel’s Mickey Mouse Club (1993–95). Gosling came to the attention of a wider audience in 2004 with a leading role in the ro-mantic drama The Notebook, for which he won four Teen Choice Awards and an MTV Movie Award. His performance as a drug-addicted teacher in Half Nelson (2006) was nominated for an Academy Award and his performance as a socially inept loner in Lars and the Real Girl (2007) was nominated for a Golden Globe Award. Also in 2007, he starred in the courtroom thriller Fracture. 2011 proved to be a landmark year for the actor as he appeared in three mainstream fi lms – the ro-mantic comedy Crazy, Stupid, Love, the political drama The Ides of March and the thriller Drive – and received two Golden Globe nominations. In 2013, he starred in the period crime feature Gangster Squad, the generational drama The Place Beyond the Pines, and the violent revenge fi lm Only God Forgives.

Actor and ladies man

HEY GIRL

RYAN GOSLING

Tuxedo

ASOS – $280

Bow Tie

J.Crew – $40

Shirt

Macy’s – $35

SINGER/ACTOR

Justin Randall Timberlake (born January 31, 1981) is an American singer-songwriter, actor, record producer, busi-nessman, and philanthropist. Born in Memphis, Tennessee, he appeared on the televi-sion shows Star Search and The All-New Mickey Mouse Club as a child. In the late 1990s, Timberlake rose to prominence as one of the two lead vocalists and young-est member of the boy band ‘N Sync. During the group’s hiatus, Timberlake released his solo studio albums Justi-fi ed (2002) and FutureSex/LoveSounds (2006); the for-mer spawned hits “Cry Me a River” and “Rock Your Body”, while the latter debuted atop the U.S. Billboard 200 and produced the Billboard Hot 100 number-one singles “SexyBack”, “My Love”, and “What Goes Around, Comes Around”. He has established himself as one of the most commercially sucessful singers. From 2007 through 2012, Timberlake focused on his acting career, effectively putting his music career on hiatus; he held starring roles in the fi lms The Social Net-work, Bad Teacher, In Time, and Friends with Benefi ts.

Mr suit & tie

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DARE TO BE DIFFERENTDARE TO BE DIFFERENT

CEREMONYIf you’re the Groom on the wedding day, expect to be in a daze. Best men, be prepared to keep the groom on track. Review what you need to bring to the wedding and reception, and the order of events so everyone is always at the right place, at the right time!

CEREMONY SEQUENCE

DON’T FORGET

WRITING VOWS

DEALING WITH BRIDEZILLA

Section Title48

CEREMONYHOW TO WRITE YOUR WEDDING VOWS

Your wedding vows are extremely personal. They’re the special words that will marry you, and they represent your commitment to one another. There are an assortment of tradition-al and non-traditional, religious and secular wedding vows out there. Brainstorming and a talk with your future spouse can get you start-ed on finding the right type of vows for you. If

you are getting married in a religious setting, check with your officiant as she/he may have specific words that you cannot deviate from. Otherwise, personalize your wedding vows with your own embellishments, loving words, and inside jokes. If you want to make it rhyme, sing them, or read them from note cards, you can. Make them your own!

Ceremony 49

4

TEMPLATE EXAMPLEI, (name), take you, (name), to be

my friend, my lover, the (mother/

father) of my children and my

(husband/wife). I will be yours in

times of plenty and in times of

want, in times of sickness and

in times of health, in times of joy

and in times of sorrow, in times

of failure and in times of triumph.

I promise to cherish and respect

you, to care and protect you, to

comfort and encourage you, and

stay with you, for all eternity.

·Name of spouse

·What you take them for

·Your commitments

·Even when _____ happens

·Promises

·Forever

ARE YOU WRITINGTHEM TOGETHER?There are pros and cons either way. If you write them together you will feel more comfortable and possibly less emotional than if you write them separately. Keeping your vows separate can also make the day special and spark anticipation.

ESTABLISH A STRUCTUREEstablishing structure of your vows together, especially if you aren’t writing your vows together, is a way to level the playing field. Anything you’ll share to establishing similar phrases like “I promise to” give you an outline so you aren’t writing from scratch.

DETAILS, DETAILSThis is the time to make promises your future spouse. Be specific and say things you vow to uphold in the marriage and things you will work on to continue building a strong foundation for you two. Use events as examples and be real.

BE YOUIf you’re silly, be silly. If you’re seri-ous, be serious. If you want to cry...let it out man! This is a time for just you and your spouse. Your vows don’t have to sound like a speech. They can be a story, a poem, or es-say. Make sure not to embarrass the one you love, but use your vows to let your uniqueness show.

TIPS

I ‘Promise’ VowsI promise to curate a faithful and fan-tastic marriage with you.I promise to treat you with kindness, respect, appreciation and silliness. I promise to participate in our relation-ship, even when it might be hard. I promise to let you know when you are getting too arrogant at backgammon. I promise to roll my eyes with you, and not at you. I promise to make laughter an integral part of our family. I promise to love you until I am extinct. Thank you for marrying me.

Funny VowsI (Name), take you, (Name) to be my lawfully wedded (husband/wife) and chief tennis doubles partner, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sick-ness and in health, for when we win and the very very rare occasion when we lose. I promise to love, honor, and cherish you, to return your serves and do my best not to foot fault. This I vow to you.

Religious VowsI love you, (Name), and I know that

God has ordained this love. Because of this I desire to be your husband. Together we will be vessels for His service in accordance with His plan, so that in all areas of our life Christ will have the pre-eminence. Through the pressures of the pres-ent and the uncertainties of the fu-ture, I promise to be faithful to you. I promise to love, guide, and protect you as Christ does His Church, and as long as we both are alive.

Anecdotal Vows (Friends)Chandler, for so long I wondered if I would ever fi nd my prince, my soulmate. Then three years ago, at a another wedding, I turned to a friend for comfort and instead I found ev-erything I’d been looking for my whole life. And now, here we are, with our future before us, and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soulmate, my friend...unless you don’t want to. You go.

I PROMISE YOUKeep in mind, these examples of vows are relatively short in length. Write as much or as little as you like; don’t take this commitment lightly. It’s a promise you’ll keep forever.

?The bride’s father would deliver her to the groom, and the two agreed that they were wed, and would keep the vow of marriage by mutual consent.

DID YOU KNOW?

CAPTURE THE MOMENT

Whether you’re the groom, best man, or a guest, you need to know what to expect at the ceremony. Use this guide to know the order of events.

CEREMONY SEQUENCEI DO

Pre-ceremonial music as the ushers seat the guests. Music usually begins 15 minutes before the ceremony.

After the guests, the groom’s parents are escorted to their seats. The bride’s mother is the last. The bride’s father is waitingwith the bride.

The officiant, ushers, best man and groom take their positions.

The processional music for the brides-maids, maid or matron of honor, flower girl & ring bearer, begins as they are ready to walk down the aisle.

Following the attendants, the bride’s father offers her his arm as they begin down the aisle. The guests rise in honor of the bride.

Traditional vows may be exchanged or you may write your own personal vows to recite.

Music is played during the candle-lighting or other non-verbal portion of the ceremony.

Be sure to know where your rings are before you go down the aisle!

Have Fun! Stay classy.

At the end of the ceremony, the of-ficiant may introduce the newlyweds to the guests as the new Mr. & Mrs.

The newlyweds lead the wedding party back down the aisle.

WEDDING DAY GIFT The wedding day gift. Pick something for your spouse that reflects your love and marriage. It is something they will cherish the rest of their lives.

READING PROPSIf you or someone in the wedding is reading from a book, bible, or notecards be sure to grab them! You’d hate to ramble or mess up the ceremony.

THE RINGBest man, this is a job for you. The groom will be so nervous and frantic, he could too easily misplace the ring. Keep it with you at all times.

TISSUESDon’t think you’ll be emotional? Think again. It is better safe than sorry to keep a tissue in your pocket so you don’t have to stop the ceremony to find one.

CAPTURE THE MOMENT

CHOOSING A WEDDING LOCATION and then organizing the wedding is an extremely emotional time for the bride, her mother, and the families of both bride and groom. When emotions, money, organization, love, and stress come together, the result can be a type of person called Bridezilla. But, keeping the bride happy isn’t the only thing you’ll need to worry about.

Surviving BridezillaHelp your Bride Keep Her Cool

54

CEREMONY

Surviving Bridezilla

CONQUER THE

“BRIDEZILLA”

TREAT HER LIKE THE PRINCESS SHE ISN'T.

To keep the hostility at bay, shower her with attention and compliments. On a regular basis, ask her if she’s lost weight and if she’s using a new hair product. Tell her that wedding planning must be good for her because she’s never looked so radiant.

IN THE MONTHS BEFORE YOUR WEDDING,you may start to notice your fi ancée getting frustrated over what you perceive to be “minor” wedding details. Trust us, to brides, there are no “minor” wedding details. As the big day ap-proaches, your bride-to-be’s wedding planning frustration may turn into a fi ery rage directed at renegade wedding vendors, uncooperative bridesmaids, pushy mothers, or, of course, you (the groom).

Now don’t panic and immediately consider hav-ing your bride-to-be committed to an insane asy-lum. This type of behavior is perfectly normal and common — there’s even a TV show about it. Face it; wedding planning can be very stressful. She wants everything to go perfectly on the big-gest day of your lives. So you can’t really blame her for freaking out about a bridesmaid dress not being available in midnight blue, the band being down one member or not being able to fi nd the perfect napkins to match the fl owers.

You might be thinking that things are really get-ting out of hand. While that may be true, the best thing you can do when your lovely bride-to-be becomes Bridezilla is to be supportive and try to get her mind off wedding planning, even just for a night. Here are a few suggestions:

Surprise her with dinnerTell her that dinner is at 7 pm and to come hungry. You don’t have to go all out with lobster and fi llet mignon, but a nice fi sh or chicken dish (as long as she’s not vegetarian) with vegetables and a side salad generally goes over well. Not only are you making her a nice dinner, but it also isn’t full of carbs and red meat (our preference), which may make her feel stuffed and thus worried about be-ing able to fi t into her wedding dress.

Have a movie nightThe movie shouldn’t be wedding related or even a chick fl ick. Pick something with a lot of bombs and explosions going off. Think James Bond or Jack Bauer. Or, go with a classic comedy that never gets old. Nothing takes your mind off of your worries better than a great movie and some popcorn.

Be the “yes” man for the nightThe answer to every question she asks should be “yes, dear.” If she wants a foot rub, do it. If she wants you to run to the grocery store for her, go. We know, it isn’t always easy say-ing yes, but if you succeed, she may be the one saying yes or rewarding you for your good behavior later.

55Surviving Bridezilla

I MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE

How Do You Know She’s...Transformed?Trust us on this one, you’ll know! Your usually even-tempered partner will be-come suddenly obsessed with the wedding plans, focusing day and night on little else. She will, at times, become irritable, accusatory, dismissive, irrational, and demanding. It’s not PMS, it’s the biggest day of her life, and dammit, it’s going to go off without a hitch. The groom has got to cut his bride some slack.

1. PREVENTION IS KEY. Before you dive into the planning stage of your wed-ding, chat with your bride-to-be about how you plan to tackle it. And by you, that means both of you. Have a good talk about what each of you will be responsible for, and not to let the enor-mity of the task ahead get the best of you and cast a storm cloud over one of the greatest events of your lives. If she doesn’t bring this up, be proactive. Es-tablishing a plan of action will benefit you if things

get out of hand later. You can simply refer to your

“initial agreement” to get you back on track.

2. GROOMS AREN’T GUILTY UNLESS…THEY ARE. If you are upholding your end of the bargain, you have absolutely noth-ing to feel sorry for. Even so, this may not prevent your future wife from becoming Bridezilla. If she succumbs, remind her that you’re doing all you can and that if she is taking on tasks above and beyond what was agreed upon,

that is her own choosing. However, if you’re skipping out on things you agreed to help with to have a drink with friends or catch the game on TV, sorry brother but...you’re guilty as charged. In this case, your Bridezilla is justified in being a monster. Rectify the situation as quickly as you can. Be extra nice.

56

DEPARTMENT

Surviving Bridezilla

WEDDING FEVER IS CONTAGIOUSThe bride isn’t the only one with a short fuse during wedding planning.

OF COURSE THE BRIDE’S MOM IS EXCITED for the wedding, she did give birth to the bride. And your mom is most likely also excited. If you come from a family of only brothers, your mom is probably more than happy to help with wedding in plans with her future daughet-in-law. Whether it’s your mom or your lady’s mom, you’re going to have to be able to be fl exible. But you need to be able to put your foot down. It’s not “mom’s way or the high way.” It’s you and your lovely bride’s special day. Here are a few tips to involve mom without letting her takeover the whole thing:

Warn your wedding planner. If you let her know what to expect, she can be prepared to help run interference.

Make all the important and not-so-impor-tant decisions in advance so that nothing can be changed by the time Momzilla gets involved.

Warn your vendors that Momzilla may try to meddle. Tell the DJ not to take music requests (or CDs) from her, tell the photographer that you don’t want him to the take pictures that your mother requests unless it’s something you’ve al-ready requested.

Find a task that isn’t as importantto you—a farewell brunch or the contents of the welcome bags—and assign it to your mother to give her something to do to keep her busy and out of your hair.

Assign a good friend to babysit your moth-er all weekend. Momzillas crave attention, and making sure she has a captive audience most of the time, even if it’s just one of her best friends, will help to take a lot of the pressure off of you.

DEPARTMENT

57Surviving Bridezilla

INFAMOUS WEDDING ‘CRAZIES’

They have no idea what’s going on. To get away from them pre-tend someone is calling you. Don’t be rude. Listen to them for a little while. 3-5 minutes tops and then run for your life. Offer to bring them another drink. Easiest way to get up

You are marrying your future father-in-law’s baby girl. She is is pride and joy and there’s no way daddy is going to let anything happen to her. Hopefully, you received the father’s blessing be-fore asking for your beloved’s hand in marriage. This should set a positive

Being a bridesmaid can be a big job, and not everyone has the time or money to do it well. Focus your attention on the friends or family members who live close by and have more accommodating

Sorry, we aren’t talking about J-Lo from 2001’s, The Wedding Planner. We’re talking about your actual wed-ding planner (but if you get J-Lo, then that’s another story). Remember, your wedding planner is stressing out as

and go. Send the drink you prom-ised with another person (someone you don’t like *evil laugh*) and God’s speed to them. Chances are you’ll be tipsy it too. Drunk people can be cool to hang out with, well, some of them.

Drunk Uncle

schedules. Make sure you take a few minutes with the bridemaids to ex-press your gratitude. Even with wed-dings as expensive as they are, try to budget so that you don’t have to skimp on the bridesmaid gifts.

The Bridesmaid(s)

The Wedding Plannermuch (or even more) as your bridezil-la. Remember to be nice and appre-ciate your wedding planner. But there are times when you will disagree with your planner.

Father-in-lawtone for the engagement and hope-fully after the wedding. If dad really doesn’t like you, try fi nd out what he likes. Who knows, maybe you’ll fi nd that you both love cracking open a beer and turn on Breaking Bad after a long day of work.

“ALL YOU CAN DO IS ALLOW HER TO VERBALLY

ABUSE YOU AND DISCOUNT EVERYTHING YOU SAY.”

60

DEPARTMENT

Surviving Bridezilla

We’ve been going on and on about bridezilla. But what about groomzilla? Your want your wedding to be perfect too, right? Just make sure you don’t go over the top. You don’t want to drive your groomsmen insane. Two out of three brides reported there was at least one thing that could transform their future husband from a groom-to-be into a full-fledged Groomzilla. For some, that something was the guest list. About a quarter of brides said the music selection would put their men over-the-edge, while 16% answered that honeymoon preparations might trigger Groomzilla tendencies. Here are 10 signs that show you are becoming a groomzilla.

1. Your Facebook friends are “un-friending” you in scores because every update, photo, and link is about your nuptials, including vendor information, that video of how you met, honeymoon plans, and the name of your registries. Guys, it’s your wedding, not Mardi Gras, and you need to keep in mind that other people have lives.

Try not to end every social network comment with “P.S.: More engagement photos to come.”

2. You’ve picked 12 groomsmen, your Best Man, and your first-dance song, and you’ve been engaged for less than an hour. Once you make the decision to wed, take time to savor the moment. After you get back to reality you might find that asking your overbearing boss to be in the wedding party was a huge mistake, or that P!nk’s “Blow Me (One Last Kiss)” is not an appropriate first-dance song.

3. You forgot to register to vote, but you’ve registered for gifts at three different places. As easy as it is to think otherwise, taking time to do things like vote is (almost) as important to the future of the world as your wedding.

4. The last two movies you saw were “Father of the Bride” and “The Wedding Planner.” When friends tell

ARE YOU A

“GROOMZILLA”

you to take a break and get out more, they mean take in a new movie, or hit a museum, or go away for the weekend. The only thing you need to do is love the guy at your side.

5. You’ve stopped working out. Fitness is imperative, not just for your long-term health, but to ease wedding stress and clear your head. You’ll actually have more energy if you schedule regular exercise.

6. You’re so engrossed in the glamour of wedding gifts that you’ve registered for martini sets, china, cookware, even a toaster . Unless that home is a trailer with no amenities, avoid registering for wedding items you have no use for. Virtually everyone has a registry these days, which means your gift options are unlimited. If you don’t want presents, you can give to charity or form a registry to donate to one of your favorite LGBT organizations.

7. You gave tonight’s front-row Madonna tickets to a friend because you’re in a tizzy over seated meal or buffet. No planning complication is so important that it can’t wait a day. If your Best Man gets stranded in Hawaii the day before your Nebraska wedding, stop what you’re doing and make adjustments. Otherwise, get up on the dance fl oor and have some fun.

8. Your mind goes blank when someone mentions the phrases “Honey Boo Boo,” “binders full of women,” or “What are your holiday plans?” While not understanding what that fi rst phrase refers to might be a blessing in dis-guise, having no knowledge of current events is a sign that you’re too self-absorbed. Read the paper, watch the news, and, most importantly, connect with your friends and loved ones in a way that does not involve your wedding. Make it about them for a change.

9. You’ve ordered an eight-tier cake—and your guest list is 20. Face it, wedding stuff is fun, fun, fun. But don’t go overboard: Once you know your budget, guest list, and formality, stay within those limits. Otherwise, you might end up with egg on your face and a lot of maxed out credit cards.

10. Your mother tells you she wishes your wedding was less stressful than some of the other ones she’s planned —like her own. In this case, mom defi nitely knows best!

“Wedding planning has evoked

my inner girl. I used to cut my

hair at Walmart, now I have

my own stylist. And I may get a

manicure with clear polish for

the wedding.” —Nick Stamos, age 30

AdTHE BEERSWIRLING POWER AND LIVING MAGIC. GET ACQUAINTED WITH THE UNIQUE TASTE OF GUINNESS

PLEASE ENJOY RESPONSIBLY

RECEPTIONNo matter what size your wedding reception will be, it still requires good planning. The responsibility of plan-ning a fl awlessly successful wedding reception can be daunting — from favors, food, and drink to entertain-ment, seating charts, and children, you have myriad details to consider. Just do your homework, make in-formed decisions, and strive to keep the mood festive.

WHAT TO SERVE

WEDDING BAR GUIDE

BAR PERSONALITY

WEDDING TRADITIONS

RECEPTION ETIQUETTE

64 Wedding Bar Guide

RECEPTION

WEDDING BAR GUIDE

Many couples opt for an open bar, where guests have access to unlimit-ed drinks throughout the entire recep-tion. While this is certainly the most gracious approach, it’s also the most expensive and could end up costing as much as 10 to 20 percent of your total budget. An alternative is the “limited,” or

“soft,” bar, where you offer a careful selection of drinks (say, wine, beer and vodka cocktails) at the bar during specifi c times (throughout the cock-tail hour and right after dinner), then have waiters serve wine or beer during the meal.

On a tight budget? Don’t even think about having a cash bar. Guests should never be expected to pay for their own drinks. Instead, consider skipping the hard stuff, which is pricey, and serve less-costly wine and beer only. Or, opt to offer your site’s

“well” brands of liquor, which are less expensive than premium brands; the same goes for house wines and cham-pagne. Also, discourage the wait staff from refi lling wine glasses at dinner without fi rst asking guests if they want more. When you stock the bar, think about the brands that are most likely to sat-

On average, you should a l low 1 dr ink per person per hour at the recept ion. A bott le of champagne wi l l usual ly serve

f ive g lasses.

BAR TIP:

BASIC BAR RATIO

Serving Sizes

1 bottle of wine =

5 servings

1 case = 12 bottles

750ml bottle of liquor =

18 servings

For a wedding in the evening with dinner and dancing, we recommend you sock the bar with this ratio of alcohol

1 bottle = 1 serving of beer

1 full sized keg = 165 beers

1 bottle of champagne =

8 servings

Full bar: 20% liquor, 15% beer, 65% wine

Beer and wine only: 20% beer, 80% wine

One of the major decisions a couple makes when planning a wedding is what type of alcohol to serve at their reception. Here’s a guide you and your bride can use to assist you with your wedding bar selection.

isfy the greatest number of guests. Again, you know your guests. If your family is fl ying in from the highlands of Scotland, you may want to substi-tute a single malt for that Kentucky bourbon, but generally, standard bar fare will go over just fi ne. On the wine front, there is a far greater opportu-nity to make choices based on your personal preferences.

65Wedding Bar Guide

WHAT TO SERVE:

1010

66

bottles of vodka

bottles each of gin & rum

44bottles of scotch

2 bottles of each ofwhiskey, bourbon, tequiula, vermouth, and triple sec

Add these to your list:Have on hand 2 cases of beer, 3 to 4

cases (36 to 48 bottles) of white

wine and 2 to 3 cases (24 to 36

bottles) of red wine.

Three cases (36 bottles) of champagne.

Don’t forget to provide non-alcoholic drinks. Popular drinks include sodas, fruit punch, coffee, and tea.

Section Title66

DEPARTMENT

FLY STRAIGHT.

A LITTLEBIT OF

HONEY.A WHOLE

LOT OF JACK

67Wedding Bar Guide

WHAT’S YOUR

BAR PERSONALITY?Every time you order a drink, you’re letting people know what kind of person you are. What does your drink of choice say about you?

These drinks are much more appearance aware. They don’t view life through the beer, but see it as a status symbol in their self-made beer pyramid of greatness. They consider themselves “top shelfers,” looking down through their fancy bottles at everyone else.

Draft beer drinkers are the least pretentious and a little unimaginative. They are rarely well spoken, but always want to talk. Image is truly nothing and taste is everything.

Whiskey is a strong drink. The alcohol content is high and the flavors are robust. It’s a drink that men use to assert their dominance. Often, this masculinity can be seen as attractive, however, it can also be arrogant as well since people who drink whiskey often like to perceive themselves as better than others.

A glass can be a stage for pretentious drinkers. The wine drinker is usually a nervous, insecure type who knows their noble charade could be blown at any minute.

Those who celebrate “life” and “tonight” can be an enigmatic bunch. They are good-looking, extroverted and apparently having the most fun in the bar. But don’t be fooled. Conversation with our bubbly friends is usually restricted to shrieks and giggles, and is entered into at one’s own risk.

Cocktail drinkers have no understand-ing of themselves or the greater world, preferring chaos to normality. They’re many people in one, a cacophony of emo-tions. Never coherent in speech patterns or dance moves.

BOTTLED BEER WINE

COCKTAILS

DRAFT BEER

CHAMPAGNE WHISKEY

RECEPTIONRECEPTIONRECEPTION

TRADITIONS, WITH OTHER THINGS, can be changed, modified, and molded into your own style. It is important to have a conversation with your spouse on what they expect to happen at the cer-emony and reception. Read on to learn more about history, tips, and a checklist of traditions. No doubt there’ll be man hugs, handshakes, and slaps on the back.

TraditionsCEREMONY & RECEPTION

70 Traditions

RECEPTION

DO YOU EVER WONDER WHY YOUR signifi cant other, and most traditional weddings, make a checklist of typi-cal reception traditions? Why exactly do brides wear garters? Why is there a bouquet toss? Husbands, why do you carry your spouse through the front door of your home? These are all valid questions. Read on to hear about the history behind these crazy traditions.

MANY OF TODAY’S popular wedding ceremony and reception traditions can be traced to ancient Egyptian and European customs. These were often based on symbolism, superstition, folklore, religion, and even the belief that evil spirits could bring disease and death to newlyweds and crops, which was very important in many farm-based early cultures. Although the exact ori-gin and usefulness of many of these early wedding traditions are not always clear, popular acceptance has allowed them to fl ourish. They may not make sense, but now that you know more about traditions you can impress every-one on the big day. Besides, many of these wedding traditions are just fun!

According to various sources, some of the early marriages were literally car-ried out by the Groom and his “Brides-men” (or “Bridesknights”) who would kidnap a woman (the origin of “carry-ing a Bride over the threshold”) from another tribe! The Groom and his fel-low conspirators would then fi ght off the female’s family of tribesmen with swords held in their right hand while the Groom would hold the captured Bride in his left hand, which is the ori-gin of why a Bride stands on the left side of the Groom at a wedding.

After a successful capture, another politically correct practice was for the Groom to hide his new Bride for one month for mating purposes. It is said that the word “honeymoon” was cre-ated to describe this one month cycle of the moon when they would drink mead, which was a honey sweetened alcoholic brew that effects both sobri-ety and the acidity of the womb, thus increasing fertility. Is that strange? Maybe.. but hey, it gives you an ex-cuse to honeymoon with your spouse right after marriage.

The word, “Wedding” comes from the Anglo-Saxon word “wedd” that meant a man would marry a woman and pay the Bride’s father.

When a Groom used to steal his Bride from her tribe, he was forced to carry her kicking and screaming. This act of thievery has evolved into a more romantic gesture, instead welcoming the Bride into her new home.

Prior to the 5th century, the ring finger was actually the index finger. Later, it was believed that the third finger contained the “vein of love” that led directly to the heart.

History &Traditions

Sunday used to be the most popular wedding day; it was the one day most people were free from their duties at work. Puritans in the seventeenth century put a stop to this, believing it was improper to be festive on the Sabbath. Nowadays, Saturday is the most popular wedding day because it gives you Friday to prepare, Saturday to celebrate and Sunday to recover.

SAVE THE DATE

TRADITIONSTHE BEGINNING OF

Why do people toast? It is said that this tradition first began in France, where bread would be placed in the bottom of two drinking glasses for the newlyweds. They would then drink as fast as they could to be the first person to get to the toast. According to legend, the winner would rule their household!

Section Title 71Section Title 71

PICTURE THISPhoto HistoryUNTIL THE LATER half of the 19th century, most people didn’t pose for formal wedding photos during the wedding. Instead, they might pose for a formal photo in their best clothes before or after a wedding. In the late 1860s, more couples started posing in their wedding clothes or sometimes hired a photographer to come to

the wedding venue.WANT SOME memorable wedding pictures that aren’t your typical cheesey poses? Make sure the photos reflect you and your significant other. Brainstorm friend groups, locations, and poses before hand. Make them your own...who says they have to be traditional?

72 Traditions

dancers to sit down as related to how long they have been married. For example, after a minute of dancing all of the couples who have been married less than fi ve years sit down. After a minute and a half, the 10-year couples sit down and so on until the couple who has been married the longest is the only couple left dancing. Other guests applaud the long-lasting marriage when the song fi nishes.

LAST DANCE The last dance is a celebratory song. The bridal couple and all the other guests dance the last song of the night. It’s also a signal to the guests that the recep-tion is ending.

1. Bride & Groom2. Bride’s Parents3. Groom’s Parents4. Bride dances with her father5. Groom dances with mother-in-law7. Bride dances with father-in-law8. Groom dances with his mother10. Rest of Bridal party joins in11. Guests join the dance

Dancing at a wedding reception always starts out with some traditional dances. Establish a “dance order,” beginning with your “first dance.” The traditional dance order can be changed as you desire.

WHATEVER DANCES YOU and your spouse decide to have at your wedding, be sure to communicate with the DJ the order to announce them and the songs to play. If you want to add more dances feel free! You don’t have to dedi-cate an entire song to each of these dances—try making a mixed song or fade from one to the next.

Your fi rst dance can be formal, or casual, slow and romantic or fun and energetic. You could have your fi rst dance alone or invite your guests to join in. You could even have more than 1 song. There really are no rules, so make it your own.

DOLLAR DANCE The dollar dance began in Poland, but has found popularity in Mexican-American and American weddings. The concept of this dance is for the bride and groom to earn money to use during their honeymoon or for their new life together. Men take turns dancing with the bride as they pin money to her gown or she places the money in a satchel. Sometimes the groom joins in and women pin dollars to his tuxedo jacket.

ANNIVERSARY DATE One way to make married guests feel acknowledged is by having an anniversary dance. This is a dance when the emcee of the event asks that all mar-ried couples dance. A rendition of this tradition is to ask

Order of Dances

SHAKE YOUR GROOVE THINGMUSIC

20 FIRST DANCE SONGSJason Mraz – LuckyElvis – Cant Help Falling In LoveAdele – Make You Feel My LoveKings of Leon – Use SomebodyKiss – I Was Made For Loving You

Plain White T’s – Rhythm of LoveFrank Sinatra – Fly Me to the MoonDido – Thank youSir Mix-a-Lot – Baby Got BackEd Sheeran – Kiss Me

Van Morrison – Sweet ThingJack Johnson – Better TogetherIron and Wine – Such Great HeightsThe Beach Boys – God Only KnowsFrank Sinatra – Angel Eyes

Michael Buble – EverythingJohnny Cash – Rose of My HeartThe Beatles – And I Love HerZach Brown Band – FreeL.O.V.E. – Nat King Cole

Start

FOX TROT

73Traditions

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21 TOAST/SPEECHES The toast generally happens after everyone is seated and the fi rst course has been served. The best man starts the toast and gives his speech, followed by the maid of honor. The couple re-sponds (the groom usu-ally responds to the best man, but why not let the bride say something, too?), and then parents and other guests speak.

RECEIVING LINE The line can form at the wedding ceremony site just after the wedding or at the reception site, depending on logistics. If you think your guests will get to the recep-tion before you (if you and the wedding party will be taking pictures after the vows), you might want to have the line at the ceremony site. Another option is to hold the cocktail hour in a room other than the main recep-tion room. You’ll have plenty of time to get to the cocktail hour, and when the doors to the reception room open, you and your parents can form the receiving line as guests enter.

FIRST DANCE This blissful moment can take place when you two are announced for the fi rst time as hus-band and wife, so just go directly to the dance fl oor. Alternatively, you can wait until after the salad course. It’s entirely up to you.

DINNER Once cocktails are fi nished, the couple and wedding party have been announced, and the fi rst dance is over (if you’ve chosen to dance before the meal), dinner should be served. Not much more than half an hour should have passed since guests entered the reception room.

COCKTAIL HOUR The cocktail hour kicks off the wedding reception and can last for an hour or an hour and a half. Guests arrive, greet each other and you, and get into party mode.

CUT THE CAKE The cake is usually cut dur-ing the last hour of the reception, which makes sense because it’s time for dessert and coffee as the party is winding down. Also, the wed-ding cake cutting gen-erally signals to guests that it’s okay to leave soon, so don’t cut the cake too early or things could start wrapping up before you’re ready for them to end!

RECEPTION EVENTS

1. Receiving Line

2. Cocktail Hour

3. Champagne Toasts

4. Wedding Cake

Section Title

DEPARTMENT

Blazer

Men’s Warehouse

$300

Shirt

Uniqlo – $50

Tie

J-Crew – $20

75Traditions

If you do still want to do a garter toss, it can

be more comfortable for the bride to stand and

slightly raise her dress, with the groom kneeling

in front of her, to remove the garter. This makes

for a less awkward position and better photos!

You certainly can skip the bridal bouquet toss if

it’s just not something you want to do. Instead,

you could give your bouquet to a special friend

or relative, or break it into smaller bouquets and

give them to a few special wedding guests.

You certainly can skip the bridal bouquet toss if

it’s just not something you want to do. Instead,

you could give your bouquet to a special friend

or relative, or break it into smaller bouquets and

give them to a few special wedding guests.

At weddings, people with no public speaking experience — and no desire to have any — sometimes have to get up in front of a big group of people and say something moving, charming, and memorable. Unsurprisingly, this is stressful! But we have some tips to make it less so.

Writing a clear, concise, and all around successful toast can be diffi cult. Here is an example of a best man’s toast. Remember, these steps are just guidelines so feel free to get as creative as you want.

This is a formula that will work for toasts delivered by any-one in the wedding party. Having guidelines can help you keep from babbling on the big day. Tips on how to deliver it on the next page. Writing a Writing a clear, concise, and all around successful toast can be diffi cult. Here is an example of a best man’s toast. Remember, these steps are just guidelines so feel free to get as creative as you want.

Garter

Toasts

Bouquet Toss Cutting the Cake

ReceptionChecklist

Dapper Guide

Song list

Camera(Disposable)

Garter

Change of Clothes

Champagne

Toast Notecards

Rice/Bubbles

Good evening, everybody. My name is Tim, and I’ve had the pleasure of having Kevin as my closest friend for seven years. I’m honored to be his best man today, and I’d like to offer a toast to his beautiful bride, Alicia. I’m grateful for the opportunity to be here to witness their union, and I’d like to thank her parents, John and Alison, for their grace in welcoming us tonight.

The first time Kevin told me he was seeing Alicia, he didn’t even have to tell me anything about her--I knew this girl was different. I could tell from the way his eyes lit up when his phone rang, and it was her. Till that point, I’d never seen him get that excited about anything except football! Then...Kevin started changing. All of a sudden, he had a bounce in his step, a twinkle in his eye, and grin on his face--and he always offered me the last beer instead of hoarding it up for himself! Since he started seeing Alicia, Kevin has been more considerate, thoughtful and motivated than ever.

Alicia, you have deepened Kevin’s appreciation for life in way I never could have predicted. He is steadfast, honest and downright good-looking, and you are his match in ev-ery way: dedicated, genuine, and beautiful, inside and out. Thanks to your presence in his life, Kevin is not only a bet-ter friend; he’s a better person all around.

Let’s toast to the health, happiness and future of this amaz-

CLARIFY RELATIONSHIPWHO ARE YOU TOASTINGGIVE THANKSSHARE ANECDOTE

OFFER COMPLIMENTEND ON POSITIVE NOTEINDICATE END OF YOUR TOAST

BEACHES SMEACHESHAVE AN ADVENTUROUS HONEYMOON

THE RECEPTION CAN BE THE BEST PART OF THE WEDDING, and the part that all your guests are looking forward to! Usually the speeches and good food gets the party started, and the open bar keeps it going throughout the night. But with so many people hanging around, there is bound to be some characters in the group. This is a how to guide on surviving this party without too much embarrassment and most of your dignity still in tact.

Reception EtiquetteSo You Won’t Be “That Guy”

80 Reception Etiquette

RECEPTION

Time to Dance!Dancing is one of the

main attractions at the re-ception, but can also be a panic attack waiting to hap-pen for some guys. All you have to remember is to re-lax, and have a good time.

Just keep it simple, no need to pull out fancy moves that you see in music videos. Simple swaying and side to side dancing is all you need to do if that is what you are comfortable with.

Now, if you are a natu-ral born dancer and want to break out some great moves, then go for it! Every-one loves a good party boy who will get the dance fl oor really going!

If you really want to start something up, try the tips on the next page.

BE CAREFUL ABOUT THIS GUY! Weddings are suppose to be a time to celebrate, but you don’t want to be the one who makes the fool of himself on the dance fl oor!

81Reception Etiquette

Dancing Cheats

Follow along with the flow. You don’t

have to be the trend setter of the

dance floor. Just look around and see

how your friends are dancing, and go

with the flow!

Pick the easy partiers. People like

little kids and grandmas usually love

to dance, and don’t care at all what

you look like when you’re dancing.

All they want is someone to go out

there and have fun with!

Request “dance along” songs. These

songs are like Cupid Shuffle where

they literally tell you what moves to

do in the song. These songs are a

sure fire way to get everyone out on

the dance floor!

If all else fails, get a little bit of liq-

uid courage in you! Its never a good

idea to drink in excess, but a glass of

wine or a beer is okay to loosen up.

Famous Dances

The Cabbage Patch The Running Man The Sprinkler

82

RECEPTION

Reception Etiquette

When Hitting on a BridesmaidDO: RAISE HER SPIRITS

Bridesmaids are defi nitely feel-

ing the pressure when it comes

to her friends wedding day.

Of course she is happy for her

friend, but there is also a kind

of sadness that comes along

with seeing someone with so

much happiness that you don’t

have. So when dealing with

this, identify with her and her

sympathies!

DON’T: BE FAKE

If you really don’t care about

hearing about her woes, then

move on!

DO: GO SOLO

This is the time to assert your

independence fellas. No wing

men necessary. Weddings are all

about couples, and when you’re

single, that all you want to fi nd.

She likely doesn’t want to sit

alone either, it’s a matter of

fi nding and focusing on similari-

ties.

DON’T: BE CREEPY

If a girl is sitting alone and you

go and give her some company,

make sure it is reciprocated.

DO: BE AWARE OF LOCATION

It might not be the best idea to

make your move at the church,

but rather help a bridesmaid

get out of a boring conversation

with a distant relative. She will

surely be grateful!

DON’T: HIT ON PAIRS

Just like a group of girls at a

club, a group of girls at a wed-

ding can be hard to crack. Just

remember, sometimes, girls are

not looking for their sole mates

at a wedding.

DO: PLAY NICE

When fi rst arriving to the recep-

tion, or the ceremony itself,

offer to help move tables or any-

thing else they need. Everyone

is going to be scrambling to get

things done, and having a little

bit of that “nice guy” persona

never hurt.

DON’T: BE “THE” NICE GUY

Don’t get caught being the one

who everyone calls on for help

the entire day. A couple acts of

kindness goes a long way. Then

duck out and meet your girl.

Guys, there are so many ladies who are jealous and have a “it-should-have-been-me” complex. Just feel your way out, and you’ll be fine. Now go out and have a great time!

85Receptoin Etiquette

Place SettingsThis might be one of the

most important articles you read that you will only need maybe once or twice in your life time. Apparently, using the same utensils for an ap-petizer and the main course is a crime when it comes to fancy dinners, so they have assigned each course a dif-ferent fork and knife. Now, if you don’t want to get weird looks from the people at your table, pay close attention to

the chart below! A general rule though, for if and when you forget which is the salad fork, just work from the out-side, in. The waiters should take your used silverware when you are done with a course, so process of elimi-nation will help with your de-cision also.

The different types of glasses though, actually have a purpose. They have different weights and ways to

hold them or how much air is let in the glass that makes the liquor you are drinking taste just that much better. Scotch and other hard li-quors are most-often served in tumblers because they are designed to bring out the flavor and aroma of the drink. Red wine is suppose to be served in a rounder, taller wine glass, so the wine can oxidize and be swirled easier. White wines are sup-

pose to be served in a thin-ner version so oxidization does not occur as much. Champagne glasses are the thinnest of these types of glasses, usually referred to as “flutes”. This shows off the wine’s main attraction, the sparkling bubbles, and makes them last longer.

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1. Napkin

2. Salad Fork

3. Dinner Fork

4. Dinner Plate

5. Salad Plate

6. Dinner Knife

7. Teaspoon

8. Soup Spoon

9. Bread Plate

10. Bread Knife

11. Dessert Fork

12. Dessert Knife

13. Water Glass

14. Red Wine Glass

15. White Wine Glass

Section Title86

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