Effective Communication Skills

OBECTIVES:

• Objective of effective communication

• Role of manager in internal & external

communication

• Barriers to effective communication

• Ways to improve communication

• Characteristics of good communication

• Learn how to use own strength & work on area

of improvement

Objectives of

Effective Communication

‘The greatest ability in business is to

get along with others and influence

their actions.’

~ John Hancoak

What is communication?

• Communication is the process

by which information,

meanings and feelings are

shared by people through the

exchange of verbal and non-

verbal messages.

Communication is essential for

managers as:

• it is a core management activity of

managers; and

• should not be taken for granted.

Rather it is a skill which should be

developed with sensitivity & care.

Objectives of communication:

• To ensure common understanding;

• To meet agreed objectives; and…

•To achieve intended results on the key

dimensions of communication by:

* putting thoughts and ideas in

writing clearly, concisely and

correctly;

* making presentations confidently

and effectively;and…

* Listening actively to the feedback

and feeling of others;

* Keeping others informed and in

touch; and

* Managing meetings effectively.

Elements of communication

• The sender;

• The receiver;

• Media of communication including

written communication, face to face

interaction, telephone conversation,

email, etc;

• The message; and

• The feedback on the message.

INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION

THE SENDING PROCESS

Information that I

want to convey to

the receiver

Is transformed into

verbal and

nonverbal behavior

The Difference

Between Intent

And interpretation

THE RECEIVING PROCESS

And is interpreted

by the receiver

Who reacts to what

was interpreted

OBSERVABLE

BEHABIOR

Verbal: 7%

Nonverbal: 93%

2

4

3 1

Encode (or transform)

• Feelings

• Thoughts

• Attitudes

• Intentions

React (or feedback)

• Verbal and nonverbal response

• My understanding

Decode (or transform)

• Perceptions

• Interpretations

• Experiences

• Feelings

Body Language 58%

Tone of Voice 35%

Words 7%

Face to Face Communication Skills

Communication

Softeners

S - Smile

O - Open Gesture

F - Forward Lean

T - Touch

E - Eye Contact

N - Nod

Points to note during the

communication process:

* Attention

* Understanding

* Acceptance

* Retention

Role of Manager

in

Internal & External

Communication

A manager needs to perform the

following functions:

• To take initiative in explaining

organizational or departmental policies

and action;

• To gain awareness & understanding of

organizational and departmental issues;

• To provide forums and means of clients

and staff consultation.

Internal Communication • Relate with the department:

- Must respect and support the culture and

behavioral standards, the authority of those in higher management positions; and

- Must be willing to operate as part of the management team. If given the responsibility for developing organization structure, should aim for minimum possible layers of management and keep the reporting line clear.

• Relate with senior management:

- Share common goals and objectives;

- Know how senior operates, their management

styles & expectations, and the pressure and

constraints they face;

- Show supportive of their decisions;

- Find ways to present them with suggestions

and ideas, not problems or reversed delegation;

- Produce work results for meeting their work

targets.

• Relate with his/her manager/colleagues:

- Build up a strong team and help team members to

develop their abilities to the maximum;

- Ensure that his/her team will meet the objectives of

the department; and

- Maintain a high degree of interdependency, support,

resource and information sharing from fellow

managers.

External Communication

• Keep themselves attuned to various external issues, be alert of the external environment and its influence; and

• Use feedback to lay the foundation for proactive external relations, and seek opportunities to reach out for better understanding of their clients and stakeholders.

Choosing the appropriate means of:

Communication is a pre-requisite for effective

communication. The following factors should be

considered:

- The purpose which the messages are intended

to achieve;

- The size and distance of the audience;

- The time and resources available;

- The confidentiality of the message.

Means of Communication

• Written communication;

• Face-to-face communication;

• By telephone;

• By electronic mail.

Barriers

to

Effective Communication

Barriers to Effective Communication

A manager should be aware of the following

barriers to avoid communication breakdown:

- Environmental factors;

- Inappropriate means of communication;

- Problems of the sender;

- Problems of the receiver.

• Environmental factors: Physical barriers (e.g. noise) and long

distance may make communication very difficult.

• Inappropriate means of communication:

Using inappropriate means will make the communication ineffective.

• Problems of the sender: - Failing to obtain feedback from the receiver;

- Listening inattentively to the feedback;

- Over-communicating the superficial content and under-communicating the underlying meaning and feeling;

- Focusing on self rather than the receiver;

- Presenting the message with poor skills;

- Being preoccupied by emotions (e.g. hostility, stereotyping, past experience, etc.)

• Problems of the receiver:

- Being pre-occupied by personal values,

assumptions or beliefs;

- Being preoccupied by emotions (e.g.

hostility, defensiveness, stereotyping, past

experience, etc.);

- Jumping to cause and action too quickly;

- Misunderstanding the message;

- Listening to the message inattentively.

Ways

to

Improve Communication

Ways to Improve Communication

• Techniques for the sender: - Maintaining credibility;

- Encouraging two-way communication;

- Seeking feedback;

- Being sensitive to the receiver’s concern, interest, needs, perspective or emotion;

- Being aware of the language & meaning;

- Observing body language;

- Being aware of the physical environment.

• Techniques for the receiver:

- Developing listening skills;

- Being sensitive to the sender’s concern,

interest, needs, perspective or emotion;

- Giving feedback to the sender, especially

when there is doubt on the content or

meaning of the message.

• Techniques for senders & receivers:

- Regulating the information flow;

- Following up;

- Putting oneself in the other’s shoes;

- Listening for the whole message;

- Resisting distraction;

- Responding but not interrupting;

- Paraphrasing to confirm understanding;

- Seeking the real meaning;

- Allowing time for reflection;

- Being ready to respond.

Feedback

Skills

Important

Skills

Questioning

Skills

Language

Skills

Listening

Skills

Seek first to understand,

then to be understood.

~ Steven Covey

Most people do not listen with the

intent to understand;

they listen with the intent to reply.

They are either speaking or

preparing to speak.

Stephen Covey

Listening Listening plays an essential part in

communication.

To listen is to understand and to speak is to

be understood.

Managers should be aware of the poor

listening habits, and be equipped with

effective listening skills for more

effective communication.

The word ‘listen’

contains the same letters

as the word

‘silent’. Alfred Brendel

Poor Listening Habits • Being inattentive;

• Pretending to listen;

• Waiting for every chance to interrupt;

• Hearing what is expected;

• Getting defensive;

• Listening for points of disagreement.

Five Levels of Listening

1. Ignoring:

Not paying attention ; not intending to get the message.

2. Pretending:

Not really listening for the meaning of the message.

3. Selective listening:

Selecting the message to which one has the interest, and neglecting the rest.

4. Attentive listening:

Paying full attention to the sender’s

presentation so as to get all the message.

5. Empathetic listening:

To place oneself in the position of the

sender so that one can better understand

the background of the message and the

feeling of the sender.

How to Listen? - The ‘Cherish’ formula

Concentrate on listening

•Shut out all physical and mental distractions.

Hear the message

•Pay attention to both verbal and non-verbal information.

Empathize with the speaker

•Try to put yourself in his place so you can see his point of view.

Respond to the message

•Give the speaker an appropriate response, verbally or non-verbally.

•Ask the questions to clarify doubts.

Interpret the message

•Concentrate on the meaning of the words spoken.

•Base your opinion on available information.

Stay neutral

•Don’t be biased. Keep an open mind.

Hold the tongue

•Don’t interrupt as far as possible.

TYPES OF QUESTIONS

CLOSED

MULTIPLE

OPEN

PROBING

LEADING

How to Ask Questions?

• Use more open questions;

• Be clear & specific;

• Paraphrase to check understanding;

• Link questions to what has been said;

• Probe, whenever necessary.

Essence of Positive Feedback

BE CLEAR

BE SPECIFIC

WITH ADDED VALUE

No Feedback. Why?

• Giving away feedback means giving away power.

• Giving out feedback takes time.

• People will eventually find out for themselves.

• Giving negative feedback harms relationship.

Feedback

A way of finding out another’s opinion about

how well

how badly

we are doing

Feedback Constructively

• Don’t avoid feedback – use it as training tool;

• Always criticize privately;

• Focus on the issues, not the person;

• Get all the facts;

• Ask questions & listen to the answers;

• Set realistic goals for improvement.

Receiving Feedback

• Don’t be thin-skinned. Take feedback as well as praise with equal grace.

• If no one has ever given negative feedback to you, it probably means that you have never achieved anything significant.

Feedback on Poor Performer

1. Explain the improvement purpose

2. Specify what you have observed

3. State your position/the impact

4. Describe how you feel about it

5. Listen for response

6. State your expectations

7. Reassure your support

Complete Message to Give Feedback

1. ‘I see…’ (describe behaviour, facts)

2. ‘I think…’ (the impact, the effects)

3. ‘I feel…’ (describe your own feelings, e.g. disappointed…)

4. ‘I want…’ (ways of improvement & commitment)

Constructive Feedback vs. Destructive Feedback

• Solve problems

• Focus on behavior

• Strengthen relationship

• Build trust

• Is reciprocal

• Reduce stress

• Avoid conflict

• Enable development

• Is assertive

• Exacerbate problems

• Focus on personality

• Hurt relationship

• Destroy trust

• Is one way

• Increase stress

• Cause conflict

• Hinder development

• Is aggressive or

passive

Checklist to Get Feedback in Communication

Stayed open, non-defensive?

Listened attentively?

Encouraged the person by allowing him to

have sufficient time to think and respond?

Used appropriate body language?

Tried to understand the person’s opinion?

Asked for more information specifically?

Expressed a sincere, honest reaction?

Thanked the person for providing feedback?

‘Language is the

expression of human

personality in words…’

~ Wrenn CL (1949)

Much of what people said

could be related to

unconscious drives and

motives Sigmund Freud

‘The Psychopathology of Everyday Life’ (1901)

Language Skills

• Use simple, specific words

• Be ready to explain difficult terms, if any

• Be as concise as possible

*Using appropriate tone of voice and go at moderate

speed, invite clarification where necessary.

Language Skills

• At least 1,500,000,000 words make

up 5,031 languages.

Have you ever been

misunderstood?

Language Skills

“You can’t do anything right.”

“You’ll never make it.”

“You shouldn’t be in this business.”

(Have these words every been said to you?)

(Have you ever said these words to anyone?

How do you think it made them feel?)

Language Skills

“You’ve done a great job.”

“Thanks for coming through.”

“You’re irreplaceable.”

Characteristics

of

Good Communication

Characteristics of Good Communication

• Assertiveness

Aim to maintain win/win situation for all parties

concerned.

• Empathy

Able to put yourself into other’s shoes.

• Communicating Supportively

Use various skills to validate information

throughout the communication process.

• Open Climate

Create an open climate to maximize contributions.

Assertiveness

Rights

Yours Mine

Verbal Features Non-verbal Features

• Expressive

• Blaming, sarcastic

or authoritative

tone

MAIN CONCERN: I

• Loud or brittle voice

• Cold, detached look

• Rigid posture

• Dominating gestures

(e.g. finger pointing)

Verbal Features Non-verbal Features

• Concise & to the point

• Firm tone

• No pleading or sarcasm

MAIN CONCERN:WE

• Appropriate loudness

• No hesitancy

• Relaxed posture

• Maintaining eye

contact

Verbal Features Non-verbal Features

• Indirect

• Apologetic tone

• Long-winded explanation or excuses

MAIN CONCERN:YOU

• Low voice

• Some hesitancy

• Uneasy body

movement

• Avoiding eye

contact

• Nervous laughter

Assertive Communication

• It involves honest communication at the right

moment to achieve mutual goals.

• It allows people with different viewpoints and goals

to minimize friction by reaching mutually

acceptable compromise.

Aggressive Boss

• Bosses should seek acceptance and

assistance, not agreement.

• A subordinate might have little choice but

to agree with the boss, but that doesn’t

mean he will accept the decision or assist

the boss as best he can.

Handling Disagreement

A good boss not only tolerates disagreement,

he encourages it and even creates it. Because

he cares about results more than protecting

his ego, he continuously searches for ways to

improve his and his group’s performance.

From No to Yes

• LISTEN ACTIVELY

- show them you understand

*that they feel strongly

*what they feel strongly about

*why they feel strongly about it

From No to Yes

• Win Yourself a Hearing

*Explain your own feelings

*Refer back to their points

*Make your points firmly but stay

friendly

From No to Yes

• Work to a Joint Solution

*Seek their idea

*Build on their idea

*Offer your idea

*Construct the solution form

everyone’s needs

‘EMPATHY’

• Put yourself in other’s shoes

• Don’t do to others what you don’t want others to do to you

• Do to others what you want others to do to you

What’s E.Q.?

1. Knowing one’s emotion

4 basic emotions: happiness,

anger, sadness and passion

2. Managing own emotions

3. Motivating oneself

4. Recognizing emotions in

others

5. Handling relationships

• Emotion is the feeling caused by an incident, it is

strong but instant usually lasting for a few

seconds to a minute.

What is left is the mood or state that lasts longer.

• Emotion is stimulated by an incident and followed

by action.

• People with high EQ cannot only

identify their feeling;

• but can also release their negative feeling &

• refocus on positive feeling.

(Way to manage emotions) Passion’s slave vs Master of your emotions

Emotional Flooding

Fouled Thinking

Negative

Consequences

Away from Goals

Emotional Master

Clear Thinking

Positive Consequences

Goal Achievement

HOW TO MASTER EMOTIONS EFFECTIVELY

• Perspective taking

• State control

- seeking out distractions

- deep breathing

- going for a walk

- relaxation methods

- active exercises

3. Motivating oneself

• Yesterday is history,

Tomorrow is mystery, &

Today is a present.

• ‘Hope for the best,

Plan for the worst, &

Take what comes with style and humor.’

Self Motivation

• Determining long-term vision

• Perseverance

• Upgrading goals continuously

• Delay of gratification

• Hope

- believing you have the will and the

means to achieve your goals

4. Recognizing emotions in others

An high EQ person employs Empathy to:

• Recognize & accept a person’s emotion

• Show willingness to share the emotion

• Help the person to describe the emotion

• Induce the person to speak out the matter that

causes the emotion

• Guide the person to search for alternatives

• Identify solution possibilities

5. Handling relationships

Anyone can become angry – that is easy.

But to be angry with the right person,

to the right degree,

at the right time,

for the right purpose &

in the right way

– this is not easy.

ARISTOTLE

Communicating Supportively • Skill Learning

– Probing response

• Asks a question about what the communicator just said or

about a topic selected by the listener

• Questioning can sometimes have the unwelcome effect of

switching the focus of attention from the communicator’s

statement (Why do you think that ways?)

– Reflecting response

• Just mirror back to the communicator the message that

was heard and to communicate understanding and

acceptance of the person.

Communicating Supportively

• Skill Learning

– Advising response

• Provides direction, evaluation, personal opinion, or instructions

• Help the communicator understand something that may have been

unclear before

• Help identify a problem solution

– Deflecting response

• Switches the focus from the communicator’s problem to one selected

by the listener

• Can be effective only if when the communicators need empathy or

re-assurance or support (I understand because of what happened to

…)

Communicating Supportively • Skill Learning

– Validating communication – helps people feel recognized, understood, accepted and valued

• Respectful communication (help subordinates feel that they have a stake in identifying problems, treat them as worthwhile and competent and emphasizing joint problem solving rather project a superior position)

• Flexibility in communication (communicating genuine humility, to be open

• Two-way communication (given “air time” to express their opinion and encourage to participate)

• Based on agreement (point out positive steps before past mistakes)

Creating an Open Communication Climate

• Downward Communication

to consult staff on matters that concern them

• Upward Communication

to seek for staff’s feedback and views

• Lateral Communication

to foster communication between peer groups and colleagues

To simplify messages, provide more face-to-face and informal communication.

Teams should keep the “big picture” in sight,

thereby preventing

“tunnel vision”.

This is especially critical when teams are

working feverishly on the narrow focus of

their own change goals and performance.

Language of Email

Functions:

• Asking for and giving information

• Asking for and reporting on actions

• Making and responding to recommendations

• Giving and responding to warnings

• Arranging get-togethers

• Complimenting others

• Congratulating others

• Apologising

Emails must be well-organised, written in an appropriate tone,

and written using correct language.

Organisation of Emails 1. When describing a situation or a sequence of events,

messages should be organised in logical or

chronological order.

2. When there is a request, suggestion or

recommendation, there are two ways of structuring the

information contained:

2.1 Front-loading

Put your request, suggestion or recommendation

right at the start of your message, and then filling in

background details later in the message.

Organisation of Emails 2.2 Back-loading

This method involves putting your request, suggestion or recommendation towards the end of the message.

There is no “best” method! If your message is simple and straightforward, front-loading is probably a good idea; on the other hand, if you need to persuade your reader or if there is a danger of offending your reader, then back-loading may work best.

Tone in Emails

• The tone you use in your message

reflects the relationship which exists

between you and your reader. Tone is

largely reflected in the formality and

certainty of your writing.

- CERTAINTY +

‘Tentative’

and ‘formal’

‘Neutral

certainty’

and ‘formal’

‘Certain’

and ‘formal’ F

OR

MA

LIT

Y -

‘Tentative’

and ‘neutral

formality’

‘Neutral

certainty’

and ‘neutral

formality’

‘Certain’

and ‘neutral

formality’

‘Tentative’

and

‘informal’

‘Neutral

certainty’

and

‘informal’

‘Certain’

and

‘informal’

1. A junior employee writing a short report for the boss giving recommendations on a particular project (Tone A).

2. A strict manager informing staff about company regulations (Tone B).

3. A colleague writing to suggest the time for a possible lunch gathering (Tone C).

4. An approachable manager welcoming new staff to the department. (Tone D).

Examples of four situations

The Five Ps of Effective Meetings

–Purpose

•Decisions / brainstorming / announcements

–Participants

•Size of the group / balance / common goals or values / relevant experience or knowledge of subject matter

–Planning

•Agenda / choose the most appropriate decision making format structures (by example / group discussion / brainstorming / consensus-building)

–Participation / Process

•Establishment of ground rules (how decisions will be made) / using informational displays / manage discussion / discourage quick fix / refrain from expressing strong personal opinions)

–Perspective

•Take time to prepare for the meeting / Listen to group members / Encourage participation

Language of Emails (Tone A)

Asking for information: I wonder if you would be so

kind as to provide me with

details of …?

Asking for action: I should be grateful if you

could…

Making suggestions: It may be worth

considering…

Giving a warning: There is a chance that X will

occur, if we do not Y.

Language of Emails (Tone B)

Asking for information: I should like to know exactly

what action has been taken..

Asking for action: Please ensure that you…

Making suggestions: It is definitely worth

considering…

Giving a warning: We urgently need…if we are

to avoid X.

Language of Emails (Tone C)

Asking for information: Could you let me know

what’s been done about…?.

Asking for action: Do you think it would be

possible to…?

Making suggestions: Can we get together

sometime later this week to

discuss…?

Giving a warning: If we don’t X, Y may happen.

Language of Emails (Tone D)

Asking for information: I want you to pass me all the

information you have about..

Asking for action: Do not forget to…

Making suggestions: We really should…

Giving a warning: Unless we X, Y will…

Tactics and Strategies

First decide whether it would be better to communicate verbally rather than in writing.

• Structure information in the way that best serves the purpose of the message.

• Use a tone that is appropriate for the relationship between you and your reader (formality/certainty).

• Try not to make your message too long.

• Think seriously before you append a file to your message. This file can be copied over to the hard disk of the recipient.

Key to Successful Communication

• Don’t over estimate the receiver’s

knowledge.

• Don’t under estimate the receiver’s

intelligence.

The 5 Critical Elements of

Communication:

• Speaker

• -express how you feel honestly & openly

• Clear Language

• -say what you mean

• Environment

• -free the air of distractions

• Listener

-listen carefully to what the speaker says

• Feedback

-verify and clarify

Be Tactful

• Think before you speak

• Apologize quickly when you make a

mistake

• Converse, not compete

• Time your comments

• Focus on behaviour, not personality

• Uncover hidden feelings

• Listen for feedback

Rules of Politeness

• Don’t impose

• Give options

• Make the addressee feel good – be

friendly

Interacting with Others

People usually respond in the same

manner that they are treated.

Thank You !