Deployment, Military Families, and Children:

Implications for Social Work Practice

SSS 804: Social Work With Children

National Catholic School of Social Service

Jane Slomski

November 2009

Military Families of Today

• All-volunteer military• No longer only single men• Most do not choose long-term service• 60% of U.S. service members have

children under age 5• Military policies are getting better but still

do not fully reflect the changing needs of its families.

Families Cont.

• Families expected to conform to demands of military lifestyle

• Demands have recently been met with increasing intolerance and dissatisfaction by service members and their families

• Recently recognized need for widespread reevaluation of military policies and procedures as they relate to military families

Unique Stressors in Military Families

• Deployment– Long term separations, sometimes with limited

contact with soldiers/families– War zones: increased risk of injury or death

• Reorganization– Family roles shift to compensate for absence of

soldier– When soldier returns, must reintegrate into family

• Relocation– Frequent moves disrupt networks of social support – Children have difficulty frequently changing schools

and making new friends

Military Children

• Literature suggests that children with deployed parents:– Are aware of the dangers of deployment– Show a greater ability to adapt than civilian

cohorts– Are extremely resilient– Feel a sense of sacrifice and patriotism

Children’s Mental Health During Deployment

• Strongly linked to coping skills and mental health of at-home parent

• If parent exhibits symptoms of distress, depression, or anxiety, children are likely to present with clinically significant symptoms as well

• Among surveyed military spouses, most common concern is fear for solider safety

Satisfaction With Army Life

• In study of factors associated with family’s satisfaction with army life, most important factor was impact of separations

• Impact of separation: Effect that soldier’s absence has on family life cycle

• Absence during important life events: Graduation, marriages, holidays…

• Impact of separation negatively correlated with spouse’s– physical well-being– psychological well-being– marital satisfaction– Army life satisfaction

Attachment and Separation

• Attachment Theory:– Biological attachment system activated at

birth: newborns seek safety, nourishment, comfort, connection.

– Attachment system is active throughout life; humans maintain psychological equilibrium through emotional and physical connections with others

– Separation from attachment figures activates the attachment system and causes psychological distress, anxiety, depression

Attachment Figures

• In childhood– Adult the child depends on to meet basic needs including the

need for physical comfort and emotional closeness (usually parents, not always)

• In adulthood– Moves away from parents; transfers to significant others in life

• In romantic relationships– Attachment style developed in childhood becomes the way we

relate to others as adults

• Primary attachment figure in childhood is usually mother and/or father; focus on quality (not quantity of time) in relationship

Attachment Styles

• Secure– Child: Feels comfortable with parent; turns

to them in times of distress; reacts negatively to separation but is able to regain equilibrium in a safe environment

– Parent: Acts as a “secure base” from which the child can venture forth to explore the world. Assures child of availability for soothing and comfort if needed; allows developmentally appropriate autonomy

Attachment Styles

• Avoidant– Child: Uncomfortable getting close to

attachment figures; do not trust easily; show little distress when separated; uninterested when reunited

– Parent: Emotionally rigid; become angry or reject child’s attempts at closeness;

Attachment Styles

• Anxious– Child: Extremely distressed when separated

from attachment figures but conflicted or ambivalent upon return

– Parent: Does not give consistent responses to child’s bid for closeness; sometimes angry and rejecting, sometimes accepting

Attachment Styles

• Disorganized– Child: Quickly switch from extreme distress to

ambivalence in response to separation; Might display both proximity seeking behaviors (reaching, crawling) and avoidant behaviors (turned back, crying, ignoring)

– Parent: unpredictable behavior; “spaced out,” disorganized; may look frightened or confused when child approaches them*

*May be the result of childhood trauma

Separation & Effects on Children

• Regardless of attachment style, children experience physical and psychological distress when separated from attachment figures for prolonged periods

• Military children may experience not only prolonged separation from primary attachment figures, but also separation from important friends and relatives due to frequent relocations

General Reactions to Separation

• Internalizing behaviors– Fear, anxiety, insomnia, nightmares, clinging

to available attachment figure, fear that the parent who is home will also leave

– Depression (clinical and sub-clinical)• Externalizing behaviors

– Crying, aggression, non-compliance (out of the ordinary)

• Problems in school• Loss of interest in activities/friends

Reactions to Separation by Developmental Level

• Infant (birth -1)– Reactive to emotions of caregiver– Sense depression, anxiety– Parents report changes in eating and sleeping

and increased fussiness, difficult to soothe• Toddler (2 – 3)

– Clinginess– Withdrawal– Depression– Difficulty sleeping

Reactions to Separation by Developmental Level

• Pre-school (3 – 5)– Regression to earlier behaviors

• Bed wetting, fussing, crying for attention, aggression

– Lack understanding of cause and effect and may believe that they caused the parent to go away. May experience guilt.

• Early Elementary (6 – 8)– Basic understanding of cause and effect– Begin to understand danger and war– May experience intense grief

Reactions to Separation by Developmental Level

• Late Elementary (9 – 12)– Experience range of emotions very quickly– Anger, feel abandoned by deployed parent– Boys may feel increased sense of

responsibility for family if father is deployed– Manifest as increased aggression, anti-social

behavior, over-involvement in extra-curricular activities to hide emotions

Reactions to Separation by Developmental Level

• Adolescence (12+)– Understand war and conflict – Feels sadness but understands the concept of

deployment and time-limited deployment which may help with coping.

– Likely to immerse self in extra-curricular activities and friendships

– Is able to discuss feelings and thoughts about deployment

– Feel increased sense of responsibility, especially with younger siblings

Effects of Deployment on Attachment Bonds

• Regardless of age of child, attachment bonds are stressed by prolonged separation/deployment

• Children < 1 year will not recognize the parent when he/she returns from deployment; attachment bonds must be reformed

• If soldier sustained injuries, children may be initially fearful and distant

Effects of Deployment on Attachment Bonds

• Children may initially react with fear and uncertainty under any circumstances

• Amount of contact with soldier during deployment often determines reactions

• Parents who were able to keep in contact regularly during deployment report easier transitions back into family life

• Parents who were not able to keep in contact often have difficulty reestablishing bonds

• Anxious/avoidant attachment patterns may form

Social Work Interventions

• Children with deployed parents often present with clinically significant symptoms of:– Anxiety, depression, anti-social behavior,

school failure, somatic symptoms…• Consequence of hyper-activation of the

biological attachment system• Interventions focus on reassurances of safety,

maintaining bonds with deployed parents, maintaining bonds with home-parent, and repair of attachment bonds when soldier returns home.

Social Work Interventions

• Very young children (1 – 5) – Focus on mental health and emotional

regulation of caregiver– Play therapy

• Clinician/parents should be aware of themes in play:

– War– Violence– Anxiety– Separation– Control – Death

Social Work Interventions

Older children– Direct conversations about thoughts and

feelings related to deployment

Parents– Encourage parents to talk regularly with their

children and let them know that talking about their feelings is accepted and expected

Regular communication

If possible, regular communication with deployed parent via internet, letters, etc

Social Work Interventions

• Rituals– Encourage family to develop predictable

rituals when talking to deployed parent or doing things at home• When deployed parent calls, always say goodbye

the same way• Call around same time of day if possible• Develop routines around waking up in the morning,

going to bed at night, etc. i.e. songs, reading stories, greetings and goodbyes.

Policy Implications

• Military policies around family and child welfare during deployment, although evolving, are still not satisfactory.

• Length of deployment is a major concern• Need increased recognition of multiple

family forms and increasingly diverse needs:– Separation and divorce/ fathers living

separately from children, single parent families, families with two deployed parents…

Resources

Homeward Deployed• www.homewarddeployed.org

National Fatherhood Initiative • www.fatherhood.org

Military One Source• www.militaryonesource.com

Army MWR• www.armymwr.com

Navy MWR• www.mwr.navy.mil

References

•  Allen, M. & Staley, L. (2007, January). Helping children cope when a loved one is on military deployment. Retrieved from http://www.naeyc.org/yc/pastissues/2007/january

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