EMPOWER, ENHANCE & ENCOURAGE - NACADAapps.nacada.ksu.edu/apps/intlconf_media/uploads/handouts/2018/67-H01.pdfChinese and Canadian Groups. Journal of Measurement and Evaluation in Counseling

HOW TO HELP STUDENTS OVERCOME PERFECTIONISM & FEAR OF FAILURE

EMPOWER, ENHANCE & ENCOURAGE

Cara Wiley, Brigham Young University

Amy Soto, Brigham Young University

Johanna Jacobs, Vrije Universiteit Brussel

Katrien Vanderstappen, Vrije Universiteit Brussel

Empower, Enhance & Encourage

PERFECTIONISM

Perfectionism is defined as the striving for

flawlessness. Extreme perfectionism is

wanting to be perfect in all aspects of life.

-Flett & Hewitt (2002)

DEFINITION


PERFECTIONISM

“Perfectionists do not just set high, often rigid,

standards for themselves in a particular domain;

they are oriented toward the process of evaluation.

Life is a series of quizzes, tests, and final exams,

and their name is always at the top of the report

card.” - Tangney, 2002, p. 199

DEFINITION


PERFECTIONISM & FEAR OF FAILURE


FEAR OF FAILURE

“A dispositional tendency to avoid failure in

achievement settings, because the

humiliation and embarrassment of failure is

perceived to be overwhelming”

Elliott & Thrash, 2004, p. 958

DEFINITION


MODEL


WHOLENESS

Brené Brown (2010) defines wholeness as

“wholehearted living” and states that it “is about

engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It

means cultivating courage, compassion, and connection to

wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets

done and how much is left undone, I am enough…

Wholehearted living is not a one time choice. It is a

process.”

DEFINITION


GROUP ACTIVITY

EXAMPLES OF PERFECTIONISM AND WHOLENESS

Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLYECIjmnQs&t=1s

THE COGNITIVE TRIANGLE

0

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

Moment 0 Moment 1 Moment 2 Moment 3

Person 1 Person 2 Person 3 Person 4

STRESS MEASURING

A B M N R S H I

C D O P T U J K

M N A B H I R S

O P C D J K T U

R S H I A B M N

T U J K C D O P

H I R S M N A B

J K T U O P C D


THOUGHTS – FEELINGS - BEHAVIOUR


CLASS EXERCISE

Situation Thoughts Feelings Behaviour

Home alone–sound

Oral exam–yawning examiner


All-or-nothing“All my results have to be perfect, I can’t

fail”

Unachievable standards – never feeling satisfied

THOUGHTS

THINKING ERRORS

Catastrophizing

Discounting the positive

“If I make a mistake, I will fail my internship”

“I stuttered duringthe presentation,

which means it was bad”

Constant worrying -feeling exhausted

Frustration – never feeling good enough


THOUGHTS

THINKING ERRORS

Emotional reasoning

Mind-reading

“I am anxious and I feel horrible, so

something must be wrong”

“That guy thinks I’m dumb because I answered the

question wrong”

Feeling hopeless and helpless

Low self-esteem

Should statements

“I should be working, not taking the nightoff! I should have done this by now!”

Pushing yourself –feeling disappointed

in yourself and others


Unfair comparisons“If my sister got an A+ on her test, so

must I”

Feeling inadequate –feeling isolated

THOUGHTS

THINKING ERRORS

False expectations“I’m only a good

student if I never fail an exam”

Feeling disappointed


Help your students become aware of their thinking errors

Practicing your conversation skills might help you with this!


CONVERSATION SKILLS

RELIABILITY & AUTHENTICITY


CONVERSATION SKILLS

RESPECT


CONVERSATION SKILLS

EMPATHY


SYMPATHY

VS

EMPATHY

VIDEO:

BRENE BROWN

Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw

Empower, Enhance & EncourageVideo Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QT6FdhKriB8&t=3s

EMPATHY VIDEO:

DISNEY’S

INSIDE OUT


CONVERSATION SKILLS

PRESENT & REALLY LISTENING


CONVERSATION SKILLS

VERIFY


CONVERSATION SKILLS

SENSITIVITY


Invites a person to think before answering with an explanation.

Cannot be answered by yes or no or a simple answer.

Examples:

- What brings you here today?- How has this problem affected your day-to-day life?- Where do you think the path you are on is leading you?- What do you most value in life right now?- How do you hope I might be able to help you?- Tell me more about….

CONVERSATION SKILLS

OPEN ENDED QUESTIONS


Feelings

FEELINGS

EMOTIONS - PHYSICAL


Help your students find more balance in their life


FEELINGS

COPING

Mental HealthPhysical HealthSocial Support

STRESSORS

Demands/ObligationsLife Events

Problems

LIFE IN BALANCE


Help your students invest in adequate coping strategies

STRESS MANAGEMENT COPING WITH STRESS

Exercise

Take a break

Talk it out

Lift weights

Cry

Punching bag

Have fun

Do hobbies

Write it out

Play/Listen to music

Use relaxation techniques

Enjoy Nature

Etc.

Th

e G

oo

d

Th

e B

ad

Th

e U

gly

Avoid tasks

Shut down emotionally

Drive recklessly

Criticize self

Blame others

Overwork

Excessive use of video

games, internet or TV

Emotional eating

Etc.

Yell at friends or family

Hit others or animals

Numb-out with alcohol/drugs

Road rage

Pick a fight

Injure self

Addiction or compulsive

behaviors

Etc.

STRESS MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUES

Stress Management

techniques

Exercise

Nutrition

Sleep

Relaxation techniques

Meditation

Guided imagery

Progressive muscle

relaxation

Breathing techniques

Aromatherapy

Massage

Pet therapy

Music therapy

Art therapy

Hypnotherapy

* May need to refer to professional


FEELINGS

BREATHING EXERCISE

https://caps.byu.edu/relaxation-recordings


BEHAVIOUR

ADEQUATE GOALS

HAVE TO“I need to study tonight, but I have to visit my

grandmother”

WANT TO“I have set my priorities. Tonight I will study

chapter 2 in my book. Aftwerwards I will call my grandmother and ask to see her later this week”


BEHAVIOUR

ADEQUATE GOALS

RESULT“I will only be satisfied when I have passed this

class”

TASK“When I’m in class, I try to take notes. At home I try to focus on finding and understanding the

structure of the course. During the exams I focus on rehearsing and revising.”


BEHAVIOUR

ADEQUATE GOALS

VAGUE“I want to be well prepared for the next

session”

SPECIFIC“I will fill out my notes from class, redo the

exercise and read the chapter in the textbook”


BEHAVIOUR

ADEQUATE GOALS

EXTREME“I’m not very good at this course. I should know the whole textbook by heart by the end of the semester”

ACHIEVABLE“This course is not my cup of tea. I will make time to fill in the blanks in my notes, ask questions about what I

don’t understand, and try to find answers in my textbook”


Help your students be SMART


S Specific

M Measurable

A Achievable

R Realistic

T Timed

SMART GOALS

Create a SMART Goal


Invest in your students’ study skills

STUDY SKILLS

Time management

Notetaking

Reading

Memory

Test preparation

Test taking

Goal setting

Communication

http://college.cengage.com/masterstudent/series/becoming_a_master_student/12e/assets/students/protected/discovery_wheel/discovery_wheel.html

http://college.cengage.com/masterstudent/series/becoming_a_master_student/12e/assets/students/protected/discovery_wheel/discovery_wheel.html


FINAL EXERCISE

ROLEPLAY

THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE!

QUESTIONS?

• Bartels, J. M., & Herman, W. E. (2011). Fear of Failure, Self-Handicapping, and Negative Emotions in Response to Failure. ERIC, EBSCOhost (accessed May 4, 2018).

• Brown, B. (2010). The gifts of imperfection. Center City, MN: Hazelden.• Campbell, J. D., & Paula, A. D. (2002). Perfectionistic self-beliefs: Their relation to personality and goal pursuit. IIn G. L. Flett & P. L. Hewitt (Eds.),

Perfectionism: Theory, research, and treatment (p.181-198). Washington D.C.: American Psychological Association. • Ciarrocchi, J. (2002). Motivational Enhancement, Stages of Change, and Goal-Setting: Counseling Problem Gamblers. In Practical Resources for the Mental

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Loghum• Depreeuw, E. (2003). Groepstherapeutische behandeling van faalangst: leren falen. Handboek Groepspsychotherapie, C3 (47 pp.). Houten: Bohn Stafleu Van

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Hewitt (Eds.), Perfectionism: Theory, research, and treatment (p. 5-31). Washington D.C.: American Psychological Association.• Hjeltnes, A., Binder, P., Moltu, C., & Dundas, I. (2015). Facing the fear of failure: An explorative qualitative study of client experiences in a mindfulness-

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• Kem, L. & Navan, J. (2006). Gifted students in college: Suggestions for advisors and faculty members. NACADA Journal, 26(2), 21-28.• Tangney, J. P. (2002). Perfectionism and the self-conscious emotions: Shame, guilt, embarrassment, and pride. In G. L. Flett & P. L. Hewitt (Eds.),

Perfectionism: Theory, research, and treatment (p. 199-215). Washington D.C.: American Psychological Association.• Travers, L. V., Randall, E. T., Bryant, F. B., Conley, C. S., & Bohnert, A. M. (2015). The cost of perfection with apparent ease: Theoretical foundations and

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therapy and research, 16(2), 201-228.• Seligman, M. E. (2011). Learned optimism: How to change your mind and your life. New York, NY: Vintage.• Smith, M., Saklofske, D., Yan, G. and Sherry, S. (2015). Cultural Similarities in Perfectionism: Perfectionistic Strivings and Concerns Generalize Across

Chinese and Canadian Groups. Journal of Measurement and Evaluation in Counseling and Development, 49, 63-76.• Stuart, E. M. (2013, January 1). The Relation of Fear of Failure, Procrastination and Self-Efficacy to Academic Success in College for First and Non First-

Generation Students in a Private Non-Selective Institution. ProQuest LLC.

REFERENCES

Documents

EMPOWER, ENHANCE & ENCOURAGE - NACADAapps.nacada.ksu.edu/apps/intlconf_media/uploads/handouts/2018/67-H01.pdfChinese and Canadian Groups. Journal of Measurement and Evaluation in Counseling