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February 23, 2015

England embarrassed

Steven Lynch33 Share on Facebook Share on Twitter CommentAs they lick their Wellington wounds, a look (from behind the sofa) at some other occasions when they were left red-faced shares 33

I miss, you run: England can never seem to get past the Dutch in T20s

Losing to Netherlands... It was supposed to be a nice, gentle workout, an easy introduction to the World T20 at home in England in 2009.When Ravi Bopara and Luke Wright opened up at Lord's with a stand of 102, it looked as if Netherlands would befirmly put in their place. But wickets slipped away, and the eventual 162 for 5 wasn't conclusive. The Dutch scrappedhard and were always close, and with Ryan ten Doeschate keeping calm it boiled down to two off the last ball.Tailender Edgar Schiferli scuffed it away and galumphed off for the single that tied the scores - but Stuart Broad, thebowler, tried to run him out; he missed, and the ball sailed away for the winning overthrow.

... and again The two sides met again in the 2014 World T20, in Chittagong. A Dutch total of 133 didn't look much - at least untilEngland started batting. At the halfway stage it was 42 for 5, and there was no comeback: the eventual winningmargin was 45 runs, a Grand Canyon in T20 terms. And the overall score in T20 internationals now reads like theresult you might expect if they met at football: England 0, Netherlands 2.

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Underestimating Sri Lanka After a couple of months of being thumped by the rampant West Indies in 1984, an end-of-season Test against SriLanka - their first on English soil - looked like a good way for England to recapture some confidence. Possibly eyeing aday off, David Gower won the toss and stuck the new boys in... and had to field for more than two days, most of itspent bowling at Sidath Wettimuny, who made 190 in 642 minutes, the longest innings ever at Lord's. Englandconceded a lead of 121 but escaped with a draw.

Losing to Ireland Despite a scare or two, England had never lost an official international to Ireland till four years ago. When they ran up327 for 8 in Bangalore during the 2011 World Cup, that record looked safe. Indeed, when Ireland dipped to 111 for 5just before halfway, even David "Bumble" Lloyd might have been tempted to start the car. But Kevin O'Brien floggeda once-in-a-lifetime century from just 50 balls - the fastest in World Cup history - and although he left with victorytantalisingly close, John Mooney had enough left in the tank to make Ireland's day, or possibly their year.

In the 1999 World Cup, England hit the sack early, at their own party

Patronising India Until the 1950s, England only picked full-strength sides when they went to Australia; senior players would pick andchoose their tours to other places. The team that went to India in 1951-52 contained hardly any regulars, and thecaptain - Lancashire's Nigel Howard - was an amateur batsman with a first-class average of 24. Still, England had neverlost a Test to India, and they duly went one up in Kanpur, thanks to Howard's Lancashire spinners Roy Tattersall andMalcolm Hilton, who shared 17 wickets. But India squared the series with a crushing innings win - their first victory inalmost 20 years of Test cricket - in Madras.

Losing to Bangladesh England's 2011 World Cup campaign was a curious affair: apart from the defeat by Ireland (above), England theydone well to beat South Africa and, in a dramatic high-scoring affair, tie with India. And then they lost to Bangladesh,in Chittagong, letting a winning position slip away, and leaving qualification from the group wide open.

That No. 1 ranking... A crunching Ashes victory in 2010-11 set England up to claim the No. 1 Test ranking, which they duly did bywhitewashing India 4-0 at home in 2011. But hopes of a glorious long reign at No. 1 took a severe knock in the verynext series, when Pakistan's spinners overwhelmed England in the UAE, setting up a 3-0 whitewash of their own.South Africa won in England in 2012 to take possession of the ICC mace, which they still hold.

Missing their own party The 1999 World Cup started in low-key fashion, with a few derisory fireworks failing to light up a drizzly day at Lord's.And England failed to progress beyond the group stage, their exit confirmed by losing to India at Edgbaston, the daybefore the official tournament theme song was released.

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© Getty ImagesFrom 3-0 to 0-5 in a matter of months

First defeat by New Zealand By 1977-78, New Zealand had been playing England for 48 years, and still hadn't beaten them, in 47 attempts. Thatall changed in Wellington, the city where the recent World Cup shellacking took place, when England - needing just137 to maintain the status quo - were shot out for 64. Richard Hadlee took 6 for 26, to finish with 10 for 100 in thematch.

From the start of the Ashes... In 1882 it was generally felt in England that, while these upstart Australians might have pulled off the occasionalvictory over below-strength visiting teams at home, they couldn't possibly cope with the full might of the OldCountry, as assembled at The Oval in 1882. Why, even WG Grace was there. England looked in charge when theybowled Australia out for 63, but they then managed just 101 themselves. Still, they ended up needing only 85 topolish the Colonials off. But Fred Spofforth - enraged by what he saw as WG's poor sportsmanship in running outSammy Jones while he was "gardening" - steamed in, living up to his "demon bowler" tag by adding 7 for 44 to hisfirst-innings 7 for 46, and in an incredibly tense finish England fell seven short of victory. Stunned supportersstaggered home, and one was moved to pen the mock obituary of English cricket which led to the birth of the mostfamous sporting rivalry of them all.

... to an Ashes whitewash Australia had pulled off two previous Ashes whitewashes, but there were reasons for those: in 1920-21 English crickethad barely recovered from the Great War, while the 2006-07 one was part last hurrah for a truly great Aussie side,part payback for the 2005 Ashes upset. But 2013-14 was different: England had won the three previous seriescomfortably, the last one 3-0 just a few months earlier - the first time Australia had failed to win at least one Test inEngland since 1977. During the first day of the series in Brisbane, it looked like business as (recently) usual, as theAustralians dipped to 132 for 6, and even though the tail more than doubled the score, it seemed just a temporaryblip. But England hardly took another trick in the series: Australia won in Brisbane by 381 runs, and the steamrollerwas under way. It was arguably the biggest and most surprising Ashes turnaround of them all, vying with 1958-59 -Richie Benaud's first series in charge - when Australia won 4-0 after having lost the three previous Ashes encounters.

Steven Lynch is the editor of the Wisden Guide to International Cricket 2014. Ask Steven is now on Facebook

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