(800) 777-4114 1

Employee Assistance ProgramOne Union Square600 University Street, Suite 1400Seattle, WA 98101(800) 777-4114www.FirstChoiceEAP.com

Every day at work, opportunities emerge for conversation with co-workers that have the potential to tear down or build healthy communication. In their book, Developing Capable People, H. Stephen Glenn and Jane Nelson explore these barriers and corresponding communication builders. Integrating builders into the workplace will help enhance and sustain a healthy work environment.

One barrier to communication happens when we begin ASSUMING what other people think, what they will do, and how they will respond. CHECKING is the alternative response and happens when we ask other people what they think, what they plan to do, or when we try to understand why they chose to respond the way they did.

Another barrier is DIRECTING, which happens when we give instructions to a co-worker, making sure it is done the right way. At times, this can be interpreted as an attempt to control another co-worker versus

What’s in your Fall Newsletter

Barriers to and Builders of Healthy Communications ............................ 1

Effective Strategies for Dealing with Difficult People .................................... 2

Why Does My Employer offer an EAP? ....... 2

A Workout a Day Keeps Depression at Bay ...................................... 3

Online Work Life Resources ........................ 3

Welcome New Groups! ............................... 4

Scrambling to Succeed Without Scrambling Your Brain ................... 4

allowing them the space and freedom to be who they are. ENCOURAGING/INVITING is the alternative which happens when we see our co-workers as assets rather than objects or recipients of our requests and demands. We allow room for mistakes and become curious about other co-workers’ different viewpoints. This is one way to honor diversity at work.

A final barrier is EXPECTING, which happens when we set high standards and then point out a coworker’s failure to reach them. CELEBRATING is the alternative and it recognizes progress and encourages any steps taken in the right direction. The focus is on improvements versus mistakes alone.

Building healthy communication in the workplace begins with an awareness of the barriers we inadvertently construct.

Fall 2010 - EAP Newsletter

Why Does My Employer offer an EAP? Your employer offers an Employee Assistance Program to support your success and healthy well-being. Healthy employees help make healthy companies.

The recruiting, hiring and training of employees requires a major investment of your employer’s resources. Replacing skilled and dedicated employees can be costly and also disruptive.

Offering cost-free, confidential and convenient access to professional services in support of the well-being of employees as well as their families makes good business sense, and it is a powerful way of caring about people.

The counseling assessment and Work/Life resources available through First Choice Health EAP encourage you to become an active participant in your health, career and personal satisfaction.

Recent medical research shows that identifying and responding effectively to conditions and concerns like depression greatly improves an employee’s overall quality of life as well as contentment and productivity at work. You can assess your vulnerability to the corrosive effects of stress, anxiety and depression in the Screening Tools section of our website at www.FirstChoiceEAP.com.

Fall 2010 - EAP Newsletter

(800) 777-41142

Whether it’s a relative, neighbor, or co-worker, each of us is increasingly familiar with the stressful, negative experience of interacting with and managing our response to difficult people and challenging interpersonal situations.

Parents and teenagers can be overwhelming, the people living next door can be inconsiderate, a co-worker can be insensitive, drivers can be outrageous and the concept of “customer service” sometimes seems like a contradiction of terms.

First Choice Health Employee Assistance Program (EAP) offers the following ideas/strategies for lowering stress and increasing the positive feelings of personal effectiveness when you find yourself interacting with a difficult or challenging person – wherever and whenever your paths may cross.• “FightorFlight”:Thisisanormalhumanresponsetointerpersonalfrictionortension.Despiteyourphysiologicalresponses,it’simportanttorememberthatyoualwayshavetheabilitytochoosetokeepcoolorstaycalm.Ratherthanreacting,decidehowtobestrespondtothebehaviorofadifficultperson.

• Becurious:Curiosityincreasespositivecommunication.Don’trushtoaconclusioninreactiontothesituation;learntorespondbyexpressingcuriosityaboutthesituationorabouttheperson’spointofview.Curiosityallowsyoutobeflexible,openandsolution-focused.

• Establishcommonground:Usevalidationasacommunicationstrategy.Acknowledgetheotherperson’sperspective,experiencesandfeelings.Understandthatbadbehaviorisoftenjustanattemptbythedifficultpersontoequalizeperceiveddifferencesinpower,competenceand/orprivilege.

• Beenthusiasticandoptimistic:Whenpossible,reinforcepositiveinteractionswiththepersonbyinvitingthemtoexpressconcerns,preferencesandviewpoints.Thisapproachfrequentlyleadstoareductionofinterpersonalfrictionandimprovescommunication.It’struethatoptimismandenthusiasmcanbecontagious.

• ContactyourEAP:YoucanutilizetheEAPtoidentifyandpracticenewandeffectivestrategiesforcopingsuccessfullywithdifficultpeople.Ourproviderscanhelpyoudevelopnewskillsandwaysofrespondingtofrustratingsituations.TheEAPisheretorespondtoyourneeds/concerns–24hoursaday,7daysaweek.ContactFirstChoiceHealthEAPat(800)777-4114oronlineatwww.FirstChoiceEAP.com.

Effective Strategies for Dealing with Difficult People

A Workout a Day Keeps Depression at Bay A study at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center (reported in the Journal of Preventive Medicine), confirms what physicians and mental health professionals have been advising for many years:

Exercise can be effective in reducing and managing the symptoms of depression. The research was funded by National Institute of Mental Health.

Mild to moderate symptoms of depression were reduced almost 50% in adults aged 20 to 45 who engaged in 30 minutes of moderately intense aerobic exercise three to five times per week. The aerobic exercises in this study included treadmills and stationary bicycles.

Symptoms of depression typically include negative thoughts, decreased ability to make decisions, frustration, lethargy, irritability, a sense of hopelessness, and sleep irregularities. While adults with symptoms of depression typically view exercising as a chore, this study makes clear the benefits of becoming an active participant. Consistent exercise can lead to consistently feeling better.

Because aerobic exercise involves increasing and sustaining the heart rate at levels higher than those required for basic daily activities, always consult a physician prior to beginning or significantly increasing an exercise program. Also be aware that exercise is not a replacement for medical treatment of moderate to severe symptoms of depression. In general, symptoms of depression can be most effectively managed by a combination of counseling, medical treatment and making an investment in a healthy, physically active lifestyle.

Contact First Choice Health EAP for more information about the symptoms of depression at (800) 777-4114 or visit us online at www.FirstChoiceEAP.com to make use of the Screening Tools for depressions, anxiety, assertiveness and/or stress.

Fall 2010 - EAP Newsletter

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Employee Assistance Program

Balance in Life.www.FirstChoiceEAP.com

(800) 777-4114

Online Work Life ResourcesOur self-serve menu of learning tools, information and resources on various topics ranging from infancy to adolescence to adulthood to senior living is available 24/7 at:

www.FirstChoiceEAP.com

Click on the Work Life Resources button and enter your Username and Password. To obtain login information, contact your HR or the EAP at (800) 777-4114.

(800) 777-41144

One Union Square600 University Street Suite 1400Seattle, WA 98101www.FirstChoiceEAP.com

EAP Newsletter Fall 2010

Welcome New Groups!

Scrambling to Succeed Without Scrambling Your Brain

• AHBL

• AlmondBellevue,LLC

• CouleeMedicalCenter

• HighgateSeniorLiving

• MasonCountyFireDistrict#2

• PurcellAdvisory

• TridentSeafoods

24/7(800) 777-4114

Who Does What To Whom?• Noonedoesanythingtoanyone psychologically.Inotherwords,hedoesn’tupsetus,shedoesn’tmakeusupset,theydon’tdoittous.Instead,weupsetourselvesbythewaywetalktoourselves.

• Self-TalkistheCulprit.We’renotalwaysawarethatwedothis.Usuallyoverour

lifetimeweunwittinglylearnself-defeatingthinkingandemotionalhabits.These“bad”habitsaretheself-talkweusewhenweexperiencedisappointment,sadness,frustrationorinconvenienceinlife.

• Automaticthinking.Infact,we’velearnedourself-talksowell,weautomaticallyrespondtoabadeventwithastrongnegativefeelingandsoquicklythatitseemsasifthesituation

causesustobeupset.Thus,theideathatothersorthingshavetoormustchangeinorderforustofeelbetter.

• Learningtothinkandfeelbetter.Ofcourse,ifitweretruethatothersorthingshadtochangeforustofeelbetter,thenwe’dbestuckbecausefrequentlytheywillnotorcannotchangejustforus.Thegoodnewsisthatsincemostofthese“bad”habitsarelearned,wecanunlearnthemandbestofall,learnnewthinkingandreactinghabitsthatresultinfeelingbetterandbeingmoreproductiveathome,atworkandatplay.