Everybody always : becoming love in a world full of setbacks and difficult people : study guide

Everybody,AlwaysStudyGuide©2018byBobGoff

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EBOOKINSTRUCTIONS

In this ebook edition, please use your device’s note-taking function to recordyourthoughtswhereveryouseethebracketedinstructions[YourNotes]or[YourResponseHere].Useyourdevice’shighlightingfunctiontorecordyourresponsewhenever you are asked to checkmark, circle, underline, or otherwise indicateyouranswer(s).

CONTENTSEbookInstructions

Introduction

HowtoUseThisGuide

SESSION1:LovePeopleWhereYouAre

SESSION2:CatchPeopleontheBounce

SESSION3:Don’tPlayItSafe

SESSION4:LookatWhat’sinYourBucket

SESSION5:LoveEventheDifficultPeople

Leader’sGuide

INTRODUCTION

“LovetheLordyourGodwithallyourheartandwithallyoursoulandwithallyourstrengthandwithallyourmind”;and,“Loveyour

neighborasyourself.”

LUKE10:27

WelcometoEverybody,Always!It’sgoodthatyou’rehere.Like,reallygood.Becausetheworldwe’reliving

inrightnowisreallygoodatsomethingelse:division.Itisgreatatteachingustoonlytrustpeoplewhotalklikeus, thinklikeus,votelikeus, livewherewedo,andseeeverythinglikewedo.Anditalsoteachesusthatanybodywhotalks,thinks, votes,worships, or sees theworld differently than us can’t be trusted.Theymayevenbeourenemy.Thiswayofseeingtheworldmakesloveprettyconditional—withtheconditionbeing,weonlyhavetolovepeoplewhoarejustlikeus.

The good news is that God isn’t like that. Not even close. God’s love isunconditional,andit’sforeverybody.God’sloveturnsenemiesintofriends,anditisbiggerthanallthethingswecookuptodivideourselves.ButGoddoesn’twanttobetheonlyonearoundherewholovesthisway.Hewantsustolovethisway too. You see, God doesn’t want us to love some people, sometimes. Hewantsustoloveeverybody,always.

Everybody?Yes, everybody.The peoplewe like and the peoplewe don’t?Yes. The people we respect and the people who creep us out? Exactly. Thepeople we admire and the people we don’t? Them too. Everybody actuallymeanseverybody.

Well,whataboutalways?Doesthatmean,literally,always?Yes,itdoes.Asin,whenwefeellikeitandwhenwedon’t?Yep.Whenit’seasyandwhenit’shard?Bingo.Whenitgivesusenergyandwhenitwearsusout?Precisely.ForGod,alwaysreallymeansalways.

Now, if this sounds like a tall order, you’re right.But you’re also in luck.

Goddoesnot leaveus to love thiswayby trusting inourownwillpower.TheHolySpiritisaroundtoactuallyhelpuslovethisway.Butthere’sanotherparttoo: this is something we can actually train in to get better. Like running amarathonorpracticinganinstrument,loveissomethingwelearnandgrowinaswepractice.Andthat’swhereastudylikethiscomesinreallyhandy.

Everybody, Always is a five-week experiment in learning how to loveeverybody,alwayslikeGoddoes.EachsessionwillexploreadifferentaspectofthislovethroughtheteachingsandstoriesofBobGoff.Therewillbeanopeningquestion,alittleBiblereading,andthenyou’llwatchBobonthevideo.

However,therealactioncomesafterthevideo,whenyoudigintoeachtopicinaguidedsmallgrouptime.Herewelettherubbermeettheroadandseehowlovingeverybody,always,getspractical.It’sgoingtobegreat.Really.However,ifyouwanttogetthemostoutofyourEverybody,Alwaysexperience,it’sbesttokeepacoupleofthingsinmind.

First,therealgrowthinthisstudywillhappenduringyoursmall-grouptime.ThisiswhereyouwillprocessthecontentofBob’smessage,askquestions,andlearnfromothersasyoulistentowhatGod’sloveisdoingintheirlives.

Whichbringustopointtwo:smallgroupscanbeadeeplyrewardingtimeofintimacy and friendship, but they can also be a disaster. Work to make yourgroup a “safe place.” That means first being honest about your thoughts andfeelingsaswellaslisteningcarefullytoeveryoneelse’s.

Third,resistthetemptationto“fix”aproblemsomeonemightbehavingortocorrectsomeone’stheology.That’snotwhatthistimeisfor.Andfinally,keepeverythingyourgroupsharesconfidential.Allthiswillfosterarewardingsenseof community in your Everybody, Always group and give God’s Spirit somespacetoheal,challenge,andempoweryoutolovewithoutconditions.

HOWTOUSETHISGUIDE

Asyou’lldiscoverthroughoutthisstudy, loveispractical.Itgetsout thereanddoes things. It takes risks. This study is designed to give you similaropportunities.

EachsessioninEverybody,AlwaysbeginswithamixerquestionfollowedbyareflectionfromtheBible.Thenyou’llwatchthevideoteachingwithBobandjump into somedirectedsmall-groupdiscussion.Even though thereare lotsofquestionsavailableforyoursmallgroup,don’tfeellikeyouhavetousethemall.Yourleaderwillfocusontheonesthatresonatewithyourgroupandguideyoufromthere.

The final component of each session is called “Doing theWord.” This iswhereEverybody,Alwaysmightdivergefromstudiesyouhavedonebefore,asyour group will engage in one hands-on, practical exercise that makes thecontentBobdescribedinthevideocomealive.Theseexercisesaredesignedtobecompletedduringyourmeeting,andtheywillbewhatyoumakeofthem.Ifyouchoosetoonlygothroughthemotionsorabstainfromparticipatingintheseexercises, there is a lot less chanceyou’ll findwhatyou’re looking forduringthistime.Butifyougiveitagoandtakethegamble,youmaydiscoverwhatsomanyothershavealreadyfoundtobetrue:faithcomesalivewhenwetakeholyrisksforGod.

Now, the thought of “risky” activities can make some folks feel anxious.That’s okay. If you fall into this category, just read ahead to each “Doing theWord”activity,andyoucanseewhatyou’regoingtobeinvitedtotry.Thenyoucan prepare yourself accordingly. And remember, none of these experimentsinvolveanythingweirdorembarrassing.Theyarejusthands-onopportunitiestolearntolovelikeJesusdoes.

Attheendofeachsession,therearetwoorthreemoreopportunitiesforyouto engage the content of Everybody, Always during the week. This sectionincludesactivitiesdevelopedaroundaction(calledDo),Biblereflection(calledReflect),and/or readingashortchapter fromEverybody,Always (calledRead).Thechallengewillbetodoatleastoneoftheseactivitiesbetweensessionsandtousethisstudyguidetorecordwhatyoulearned.

Startinginsessiontwo,therewillbetimebeforethevideoteachingtocheckinaboutthepreviousweek’sactivityandprocessyourexperiencesasagroup.Ifyou could not do an experiment oneweek or are just joining the study, don’tworry.Hearingwhatothershavelearnedwillbenourishmentenoughonitsown.

Finally, remember that all this is an opportunity to train yourself in a newwayofthinkingaboutlove.Thevideos,discussions,andactivitiesareallmeanttokickstartyourimaginationsoyoustartcomingupwithnewideasandtryingthingsonyourown.Imean,whatdoyouthinkGodcoulddowithawholegroupofpeoplewhowerepassionateaboutJesus’loveandeagertoputitintocreativepractice?Let’sjumpintoEverybody,Alwaysandfindout.

Note: If you are a group leader, there are additional instructions andresourcesinthebackofthisguideforleadingtheactivitiesanddiscussiontimes. Because some of the activities require materials and setup, makesure you read this over ahead of time so you will be prepared for eachweek’sactivity.

SESSIONONE

LOVEPEOPLEWHEREYOUARE

Wedon’tneedtocrosstheoceantolovepeopleextravagantly,wejustneedtocrossthestreet.

BOBGOFF

HGETTINGSTARTED

ave you ever heard of the musical Wicked? It was a big deal when itpremieredin2003,winningalltheawardsthereweretowinandmakingits

starshouseholdnames.Whywasitsopopular?Well,asidefromamazingsongsand great performances,Wicked took the story of theWizard of Oz and didsomethingunexpected.

InWicked,thefamiliarstoryofDorothy,theCowardlyLion,theScarecrow,andtheTinManisretoldfromtheperspectiveofElphaba,theWickedWitchoftheWest.Inthistelling,welearnaboutElphaba’ssadbackstory,therivalrywithher sister (Glinda the Good Witch), and how she might not be the one-dimensionalvillainwealwaysthoughtshewas.ThismusicalpresentsuswithanElphabawhoisa tragicfigureandwhom,wediscover, ismoremisunderstoodthanmean.Italsoshowsusthatwhenyoulearnsomeone’sstory,itcantotallychangehowyouseethatperson.

Inourculture thesedays, it’s tempting to sift everybodywemeet into twocategories: “good guys” and “bad guys.” It is as if life is one of those oldvaudevillemelodramaswherewecheerfortheheroandhissatthevillain.Butthat’snotreallife,isit?Reallifeiswaymoreinterestingthanthat.Everybodywe know is a fully formed, complex, and interesting creation.Nobody in ourorbitisallgoodorallbad.Learningpeople’sstorieshelpsusseethis.Itbreaksdownourjudgmentsandpreconceivednotions.Itfreesusfromviewingothersascardboardcutoutsbutinsteadastheactual,real,God-createdpeopletheyare.And, like Elphaba, learning someone’s story might help us see them in adifferentlight.

Whenyouget caughtup in a lifeof following Jesus, theold categoriesof“good guys” and “bad guys” stopworking for you. You realize that not onlydoes everybodyhavea story, but also thatGodwantsus to love them too:nomatter what. Yes, this can be kind of scary, but that’swhywe learn people’sstories. Itmakes the creepy peopleGodwants us to love a lot less scary andfreesustoactuallyreachouttothemrightwheretheyare.

All this is what we’re talking about this week in our first session ofEverybody,Always.We’regoingtosharesomestories,learntoreachouttoourneighbors,andfigureouthowtoactuallyloveeverybodyGodhasalreadyputinourlives...always.

CHECKINGIN

WelcometothefirstsessionofEverybody,Always.Ifyouoranyofyourfellowgroup members do not know one another, take a few minutes to introduceyourselves.Then,togetthingsstarted,discussthefollowingquestions:

•Ifyoucoulddescribeyourexpectationsforthisstudyinoneword,whatwouldthatwordbe?

[YourResponseHere]

•Whydidyoupickthewordyoudid?

[YourResponseHere]

HEARINGTHEWORD

ReadaloudinthegroupthefollowingpassagefromLuke10:25–37:

25 On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus.“Teacher,”heasked,“whatmustIdotoinheriteternallife?”26“WhatiswrittenintheLaw?”hereplied.“Howdoyoureadit?”27Heanswered, “‘Love the Lord yourGodwith all your heart and

with all your soul andwith all your strength andwith all yourmind’;and,‘Loveyourneighborasyourself.’”28“Youhaveansweredcorrectly,”Jesusreplied.“Dothisandyouwill

live.”29Buthewantedtojustifyhimself,soheaskedJesus,“Andwhoismy

neighbor?”30 In reply Jesus said: “Aman was going down from Jerusalem to

Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of hisclothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. 31 A priesthappenedtobegoingdownthesameroad,andwhenhesawtheman,hepassedbyontheotherside.32Sotoo,aLevite,whenhecametotheplaceand saw him, passed by on the other side. 33But a Samaritan, as hetraveled,camewherethemanwas;andwhenhesawhim,hetookpityonhim.34Hewent tohimandbandagedhiswounds, pouringonoil andwine.Thenheputthemanonhisowndonkey,broughthimtoaninnandtookcareofhim.35Thenextdayhetookouttwodenariiandgavethemtothe innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I willreimburseyouforanyextraexpenseyoumayhave.’36“Whichofthesethreedoyouthinkwasaneighbortothemanwho

fellintothehandsofrobbers?”37Theexpert in the lawreplied,“Theonewhohadmercyonhim.”

Jesustoldhim,“Goanddolikewise.”

Attheendofthisparable,Jesusaskstheteacherofthelawwhichofthethreepeoplewhopassedthehalf-deadmanontheroadwasa“neighbor”tohim(seeverse36).WhydoesJesusaskthisquestion?Whydoyouthinktheexpertinthelawanswersthewayhedoes?

[YourResponseHere]

Haveyoueverseensomeonegiveawayextravagant lovetoapersonwhowastheirenemy?Ifso,whenwasitandwhatdiditlooklike?

[YourResponseHere]

WATCHINGTHEVIDEO

Playthevideosegmentforsessionone.Asyouwatch,usethefollowingoutlinetorecordanythoughtsorconceptsthatstandouttoyou.

Letthepeopleinyourlifeknowthattheyarenotonlyinvitedbutalsowelcome.

[YourResponseHere]

Youdobusinesswithbuyers,butyoudolifewithneighbors.

[YourResponseHere]

LovingyourneighborsiswovenintoyourDNAandyourfaith.

[YourResponseHere]

God’smessagetoyouisthatyoudon’thavetobeafraidanymore.

[YourResponseHere]

Godgivesyouapeekatwhatheisdoingintheworldthroughthepeoplearoundyou.

[YourResponseHere]

Partoffindingyourjoyinlifeishelpingothersfindtheirjoy.

[YourResponseHere]

Godwants you to love everyone, butwhat you need to do is start across thestreet.

[YourResponseHere]

What’sanextbigstepforyou?Whoareyougoingtogettoknow?Whatisyournextcourageousmove?

[YourResponseHere]

DISCUSSINGTHETEACHING

TakeafewminuteswithyourgroupmemberstodiscusswhatyoujustwatchedandexploretheseconceptsinScripture.

1.Inthevideo,Bobtalksabouthowhewaslookingforaneighborratherthanjustabuyerforhishousebecauseyou“dolife”withaneighbor.Whatdoesitmeanto“dolife”withsomeone?What’sanexampleofthisinyourlife?

[YourResponseHere]

2.Do you feel as if you truly “know” your neighbors or just “know about”them?Explain.

[YourResponseHere]

3.Whenyouthinkaboutyourneighbors,what’sthehardest(orscariest)partofconsideringhowtoconnectwiththeminnewways?

[YourResponseHere]

4.Bobstatesthatwefindourjoyby“helpingotherpeoplefindtheirs.”Whatdoyou think thismeans?Howhaveyou experienced joy throughhelpingothers?

[YourResponseHere]

5. Is there a difference between joy and happiness? If so, how would youdefineit?

[YourResponseHere]

6. People don’t grow where they’re informed—they grow where they’reaccepted.Wheredoesyoursmallgrouporchurchdothiswell?Wherecouldyouallbettergrow?

[YourResponseHere]

DOINGTHEWORD

Forthisactivity,eachparticipantwillneedacopyofthegridonthefollowingpageandapenorpencil.

During this week’s teaching, Bob suggests that loving your neighbor issomethingthatcanstartwiththepeopleGodhasputaroundyouinyourworld.Itdoesn’trequiregoingacrosstheocean—justacrossthestreet.

With this in mind, look at the grid below. This grid represents yourneighborhood.The center squarewith theword “YOU” in it stands forwhereyoulive.Theemptysquaresarounditrepresentwhereyourneighborslive.

Takeamomenttovisualizeyourneighborhood.Now,seehowmanyofthoseemptysquaresyoucanfillwith theactualnamesof thepeoplewholive there.Justdoyourbest.Ifyoulivenexttotheoceanorinthemiddleofnowhere,justuseyourofficeorsomeotherpublicspacewhereyouspendtimeasyourstartingplace.

It’sokay.Justfillinasmanynamesasyoucan.

Look at your grid once it’s filled in.What do you notice? Are there anytrends?Whodoyouknowwell?Whodoyounotknowatall?

Next, circle theneighboronyourgridwhomyouknow the least andwithwhomyouwanttomakeabetterconnectionthisweek.Itmightbesomeoneyouknowalittle,andyoucaninvitethatpersontocoffeetogettoknowbetter.Oritcouldbeapersonyoudon’tknowatall,andyourgoalfor thisweekis just tolearnhisorhername.Whateveritis,takeasecond,sayaprayer,andmakeyourplan.

When you’re done, share with the group your plan for connecting with aneighborthisweek.Ifanyoneinthegroupisstumped,offersomesuggestions.Andremember, thegoalhere isnot toconvertanyone,orwitness,oranythinglikethat.Thegoalisjusttoconnect...becausethat’swhereitallstarts.

CLOSINGPRAYER

Closethemeetingbyprayingforthespecificpersonyouaregoingtotrytomeetthis week. Pray especially that God would give you the courage to followthrough!

R

BETWEEN-SESSIONS

PERSONALSTUDY

eflectonthecontentthatyou’vecoveredthisweekinEverybody,Alwaysbyengaging in any or all of the following between-sessions activities.

Remember, this part of the study is not about following rules or doing yourhomework—the activities are simply designed to give you the opportunity tojumpintolovingGodandyourneighborwithbothfeet.Pleasebesuretoreadthereflectionquestionsaftereachactivityandmakea fewnotes inyourstudyguideabouttheexperience.Therewillbeatimetosharethesereflectionsatthebeginningofthenextsession.

DO:TELLYOURSTORY

Duringthisweek’steaching,Bobtalksaboutthepowerofstoryandhowoneofthethingsthathappenswhenyouareneighborswithsomeoneisthatyougettoknoweachotherbetterandswapstories.Thisweek,youare invited todo thisverything.Pickoneortwopeoplefromyoursmallgroup,gettogetherwiththatpersonduringtheweek,andjustswapstories.Youcangettogetherforameal,acoffee, or just touchbase in the churchparking lot.Wherever youdo it, yourgoalissimple:gettoknoweachotherbetterbysharingabitofyourlives.Herearea fewquestions thatyoucanask toget thestories flowing:Wheredidyougrowup?

[YourResponseHere]

Howlonghaveyoulivedwhereyoudonow?

[YourResponseHere]

Doyouhaveanysiblings?Whatcanyoutellmeaboutthem?

[YourResponseHere]

Whowereandarethemostformativepeopleinyourlife?

[YourResponseHere]

WhenandhowdidyougetturnedontoJesusandchurch?

[YourResponseHere]

Whydidyoudecidetoparticipateinthissmall-groupstudy?

[YourResponseHere]

Ifyouhadawholedaytoyourself,howwouldyouspendit?

[YourResponseHere]

Whatisonethingthetwoofushaveincommon?

[YourResponseHere]

Once you’ve connected with one of your group members and shared yoursstories, jot down the following reflections to share next week:How was theexperienceofsharingstories?

[YourResponseHere]

Wasiteasierorharderthanyouthought?Why?

[YourResponseHere]

Whatissomethingthisexperiencetaughtyouaboutyourself?

[YourResponseHere]

REFLECT:BENEEDY

ReadthefollowingpassagefoundinMatthew18:1–5:

1AtthattimethedisciplescametoJesusandasked,“Who,then,isthegreatestinthekingdomofheaven?”2Hecalledalittlechildtohim,andplacedthechildamongthem.3Andhesaid:“TrulyItellyou,unlessyouchangeandbecomelikelittlechildren,youwillneverenterthekingdomofheaven.4Therefore,whoevertakesthelowlypositionofthischildisthegreatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5Andwhoeverwelcomes one suchchildinmynamewelcomesme.

One of the things Jesus is always driving homewith his followers is thatGod’skingdomdoesn’tworklikethekingdomsofthisworld.God’skingdomiscounterintuitive. Ithasadifferentsetofvalues.Jesuskeeps telling thoseofuswhowilllistenthatwewilldiscoverthiskingdominwaysweleastexpect.

ThissectionintheGospelofMatthewpicksupaconversationthatJesuswashavingwithhisdisciplesabout thisvery thing.Theyhad justaskedhimaboutwhowasgreatestinhiskingdom.Essentially,theywantedtoknowwhowasthebestinGod’snewworld.Theywereasking,“Jesus,howdoyougettothetopoftheladderandsucceedinyourkingdom?”Theywantedtoknowwhowould—asBobputsitinthevideo—“getthebigchair.”

Toanswerthisquestion,Jesusaskedachildtocomeovertowheretheyweretalking. Then he said, “Be like this.” Jesus went on to say that unless thediscipleschangedtobecomemoreandmorelikethischild,theywouldn’tevenfigureouthowtobepartofwhatGodwasuptointheworld.WhatwasJesusgettingatbysayingthistothem?

Well,toliveinGod’sworldGod’sway,wehavetofirstletgoofallthewaysthiscurrentworldtellsustosucceed.ThekingdomofGodisaplacewherethe“best” are the least and the lowest. It’s where the frail and the fragile arepowerful. It’s a kingdom of downwardmobility, and it’s a place people oftenfindwhentheyhavefailedandareindeepneed.

This ispartofwhat Jesuswas illustratingwith thechildhecalled to standamonghimandthedisciples.Childrenhaveneeds.Theyarenotself-sufficient.

Theyaredependentandopentohelp.ItisexactlythosequalitiesthatassistusinfindingourwayintoGod’snewworld.

Can you see why a culture that values “pulling yourself up by yourbootstraps”mightstruggletoembracethismessage?SuccessinGod’skingdomcomeswhenyoustoptryingtowinandembraceallthewaysyoukeeplosing.

WhatelsedoyouthinkJesusmeantwhenhetalkedaboutbecominglikelittlechildren?

[YourResponseHere]

Jesussays“anyonewhowelcomesachildwelcomesme.”Whatdoesthatmeantoyou?

[YourResponseHere]

Whereareyoufrustratedbyyourownneedrightnow?

[YourResponseHere]

Inwhatwaysmight this actually be an invitation into the kingdom ofGod?

[YourResponseHere]

READ:LOVEPEOPLEWHEREYOUARE

Read the prologue and chapters 1 through 3 in Everybody, Always, and thenreflect on the following questions:Who are some people you knowwho giveawaylove“likethey’remadeofit”?Whataresomecharacteristicsyouadmireinthesepeople?

[YourResponseHere]

What are some of the barriers you encounterwhen it comes to lovingdifficultpeople?WhatcanyoulearnfromJesus’exampleabouthowtodealwiththem?

[YourResponseHere]

Whatdoes“extravagantlove”looklikeinyourlifeintermsof“coloringoutsidethelines”and“goingbeyondthenorms”?

[YourResponseHere]

WhydoyouthinkJesusasksustostartlovingothersbyfirstlovingourneighbors?Whowouldyoudefineasbeingyour“neighbors”?

[YourResponseHere]

Whataresomeways thatyouareactively lovingyourneighbors?Howhasthisinvolvedmorethanjustspeakingwiththemfromtimetotime?

[YourResponseHere]

Usethespacebelowtowriteanyotherkeypointsorquestionsyouwanttobringtothenextgroupmeeting.Inpreparationforyournextsession,

readchapters4through6.

[YourResponseHere]

SESSIONTWO

CATCHPEOPLEONTHEBOUNCE

WhatIwanttodoisseethehopethat’sinsideofpeople.

BOBGOFF

OGETTINGSTARTED

ne of the most popular TED talks of all time is called “The Power ofVulnerability.” It is a talk by Dr. Brené Brown, a research professor who

studiesempathyandvulnerability.Dr.Brownhasfoundthatempathyandshameareliketheoppositeendsof

anoldradiodial.(Rememberthose?)Shesaysthatthewayapersonmovesthetuner on the dial toward either empathy or shame is, in fact, all about howvulnerablethatpersoniswillingtobe.

For instance, if you turn vulnerability all theway up, youwill tune in the“empathystation.”Onthisstation,throughyoursharingofexperience,youwillfindconnectionwithanotherperson.However, ifyou turnvulnerabilityall theway down, youwill end up tuned in to the “shame station,”which just shutseverythingdown.

Possessingthekindofvulnerabilitythatmakesempathyhappenisdifficult,becauseyouhavetoopenyourselfuptootherpeoples’experiences.Youhavetobewillingtoseetheworldthroughtheireyesandimaginewhatit’sliketostandintheirshoes.Thiscostsyousomething.

However, shame is what happens in the absence of vulnerability. Shameoccurs when, because you’ve been hurt by others in the past, you armor-up,vowing, “That’s never going to happen to me again!” As a result, shameproduces fear, suspicion, and isolation. So, empathy connects you with otherpeople,whileshamedrivesyoufurtherapart.

Thisweek,youwillbe invited toconsider thesecategoriesofempathyandshamewhen it comes to loving thepeople inyourorbit that youmight find a“little creepy.” Instead of judging them, you will be asked to consider wherethey’vecomefromandwhatthey’vebeenthrough.

Doingthiswillkeeploveflowing,anditwillputyouinthepositionwhereyouareopento“catchingpeopleonthebounce.”

CHECKINGIN

Togetthingsstartedforthissecondsession,discussthefollowingquestions:

•Whatwasyourfirstjob?

[YourResponseHere]

•Doyouhavegoodmemoriesorbadmemoriesoftheexperience?Explain.

[YourResponseHere]

Lastweek,youwereinvitedtoactinthein-betweensessionspersonalstudy.

•Didyoumeetwithoneofyourneighborsduringtheweek?Ifso,howdiditgo?

[YourResponseHere]

•Didyoudooneoftheotheractivities?Ifso,whichone?Ifnot,whynot?

[YourResponseHere]

•Whataresomeofthethingsyouwrotedowninreflection?

[YourResponseHere]

•Whatdidyoulearnaboutyourself?

[YourResponseHere]

HEARINGTHEWORD

ReadaloudinthegroupthefollowingpassagefromMatthew16:13–20:

13When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, he asked hisdisciples,“WhodopeoplesaytheSonofManis?”14They replied,“Some say John theBaptist; others sayElijah;and

stillothers,Jeremiahoroneoftheprophets.”15“Butwhataboutyou?”heasked.“WhodoyousayIam?”16SimonPeteranswered,“YouaretheMessiah,theSonoftheliving

God.”17Jesusreplied,“Blessedareyou,SimonsonofJonah, for thiswas

notrevealedtoyoubyfleshandblood,butbymyFather inheaven.18AndItellyouthatyouarePeter,andonthisrockIwillbuildmychurch,andthegatesofHadeswillnotovercomeit.19Iwillgiveyouthekeysofthe kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound inheaven,andwhateveryoulooseonearthwillbe loosedinheaven.”20ThenheorderedhisdisciplesnottotellanyonethathewastheMessiah.

When Jesus calls Peter the rock onwhich hewill “build his church,” do youthinkheisawardingPeterforhisanswerornamingsomethingaboutPeterthatisalreadytrue?Explain.

[YourResponseHere]

Why do you think Jesus instructs the disciples not to tell anyone he is theMessiah?

[YourResponseHere]

WATCHINGTHEVIDEO

Playthevideosegmentforsessiontwo.Asyouwatch,usethefollowingoutlinetorecordanythoughtsorconceptsthatstandouttoyou.

Insteadoftellingpeoplewhattheywant,tellthemwhotheyare.

[YourResponseHere]

Recognize thatGodmadepeople just likehemadeyou—andhemadeyou toknowothers.

[YourResponseHere]

Thebestwayyoucanexpressyourfaithtopeopleistotellthemwhotheyarebecoming.

[YourResponseHere]

Godfoundyourightwhereyouare,andyoucanfindotherpeoplethesameway.

[YourResponseHere]

ThestoryofthegospelisthatJesusjumpedoutheaventobewithus.

[YourResponseHere]

Talk about the right stuff behindpeople’sbacks:who they’re turning into, notwhotheyusedtobe.

[YourResponseHere]

Don’t let shame distance you from God, and don’t let it distance you fromothers.

[YourResponseHere]

Follow Jesus to peoplewho are hurting—who have hit the ground hard—andcatchthemonthebounce.

[YourResponseHere]



1.Inthisweek’steaching,Bobsaysweneedtostoptellingpeoplewhat theywantandstarttellingthemwhotheyare.Whatdoesthismeantoyou?

[YourResponseHere]

2.Howdoyoulovedifficultpeoplebutalsohaveappropriateboundarieswiththem?

[YourResponseHere]

3.What do you thinkmakes it so appealing to say the bad stuff about eachotherinsteadofthegoodstuff?

[YourResponseHere]

4. In thevideo,Bobsays that in theend,we’reall“turning into love.”Whatquestionsdoyouhaveaboutthatstatement?Doyouthinkhe’sright?

[YourResponseHere]

5.Do you agree that showing love “with an agenda” isn’t actually showinglovetowardthepeopleinyourworld?Whyorwhynot?

[YourResponseHere]

6.What does itmean to “catchpeople on thebounce”?Howcandoing thisgive the people in your life a clear view of the hope that Jesus offers to

them?

[YourResponseHere]

DOINGTHEWORD

Forthisactivity,eachparticipantwillneedone2”×4”slipofpaper,aseparatesheetofpaper,apenorpencil,andtape.Thegroupwillneedonebasketorbowl(forcollectingthepapers).

Inthevideo,Bobstresseshownamingwhatisgoodandvirtuousinotherscanactuallybringthosekindsofqualitiesoutofthem.So,today,youandyourgroupwillgivethisatry.

Beginbywritingyournameononeofthe2”×4”slipsofpaperthegroupleaderwillprovidetoyou.Dropthepaperinthebasketorbowlthatyourgroupleaderpassesaround.Yourgroupleaderwillthenpassthebasketaroundagainandinviteyoutotakeoneslipofpaperwithanotherperson’snameonit.Makesurethatifyouhappentodrawyourownname,youputitbackinthebasketandtakeadifferentone.

Next,usetheseparatepieceofpaperyouweregiventowriteamessagetothepersonwhosenameyoudrew.Makesure themessage includesoneor twothingsyouhopefor themaswellasanythingyou’venoticedabout themthat’sterrific.Youcanwriteagenericmessageifyoudon’tknowtheperson(suchas,“Ihopeyouhaveagreatweek,”“Ipraythatyousleepreallywelleverynight,”or, “I hope you will know howmuch God loves you”). Or it can be a morespecificsentimentifyouknowthepersonwell.

Onceeveryone in thegroupis finished, fold thepaperwith themessage inhalf.Tapetheslipofpaperwiththeperson’snameonittothefrontofthefoldedpaper. Now fold that over one more time and return the whole thing to thebasket. When everyone has turned in their papers to the basket, your groupleaderwillinstructyoutofindtheslipwithyournameonit,andthenreadthenotewrittentoyou.Afterward,reflectonthesequestions:

•Howdiditfeeltoreadthemessage?

[YourResponseHere]

•Didyoufinditeasiertowritethemessageortoreadthemessage?Why?

[YourResponseHere]

•Doyouwanttoshareyourmessagewiththegroup?

[YourResponseHere]

Invite everyone to remember these messages throughout the week and toreally“own”them.Theyrepresentwhoyouareandwhoyouarebecoming.

CLOSINGPRAYER

Close the meeting by praying for specific individuals in your life whom youknowhave gone through tough times lately orwho are dealingwith issues ofshame.AskthatGodwoulduseyouto“catchthemonthebounce.”

R

BETWEEN-SESSIONS

PERSONALSTUDY

eflect on the content you’ve covered this week in Everybody, Always byengaging in any or all of the following between-sessions activities.Please

read the reflection questions after each activity andmake a fewnotes in yourstudyguideabouttheexperience.Therewillbeatimetosharethesereflectionsatthebeginningofthenextsession.

DO:TALKABOUTTHERIGHTSTUFF

Inthevideoteachingthisweek,Bobsuggestedthatwe“starttalkingbehindeachother’sbacks,but talkabout therightstuff.Talkaboutwhopeopleare turninginto. Say, ‘Have you seen Sally?Have you seenwho she’s turning into?’Or,‘Seenthatpastor?Seenwhohe’sturninginto?’Findthesebeautifulthings.Talkitup.Don’tmakeitup.”

Thisweek,pickthreepeople inyour lifewhorepresentringsoffamiliarityonyourtree.Startwithsomeoneinyour“inner”ringwhoisclosetoyou,likeafamilymemberorfriends.Next,picksomeonewhoisthreeringsorsooutfromthatplace,suchasanacquaintanceorsomeoneyoumeetupwithonoccasion.Finallypicksomeonewhoisfourorfiveringsoutfromthatspot.Thiscouldbeapersonwho isdistant fromyoubecauseyoudon’tknowhimorherwell,orbecauseyou’recriticaloftheperson,orevenbecauseheorsheisyourenemy.

Once you’ve settled on your three people, write their names in the spaceprovidedonthenextpage.Next,writedownthreekind,friendly,complimentarystatementsyouaregoing tomakeabout thembehind theirbacks.Youcan saythese statements to your coworkers, friends, people at church, or anyone elsewho is at least familiarwith the person. Justmake sure that you actually saythesethingstosomeoneinyourworldduringtheweek.

Person#1:_______________

Threestatementsyouwillmakeaboutthisindividual:

•[YourResponseHere]



Person#2:_______________





Person#3:_______________





Onceyou’vepracticedsomegoodgossip,seehowitfeels.Whatwasitlike?Diditchangeanythingabouthowyousawtheperson?Did itchangeanythingabout how you saw yourself? Keep track of your thoughts,make some notesbelow,andsharethemnextweek.

[YourResponseHere]

REFLECT:STOPKEEPINGSCORE

ReadthefollowingpassagefromLuke15:11–32:

11Jesuscontinued:“Therewasamanwhohadtwosons.12Theyoungerone said to his father, ‘Father, givememy share of the estate.’ So, hedividedhispropertybetweenthem.13“Notlongafterthat,theyoungersongottogetherallhehad,setoff

foradistantcountryandtheresquanderedhiswealthinwildliving.14After hehad spent everything, therewasa severe famine in thatwholecountry,andhebegantobeinneed.15Sohewentandhiredhimselfouttoacitizenofthatcountry,whosenthimtohisfieldstofeedpigs.16Helongedtofillhisstomachwiththepodsthatthepigswereeating,butnoonegavehimanything.17“Whenhecame tohis senses,he said, ‘Howmanyofmy father’s

hiredservantshavefoodtospare,andhereIamstarvingtodeath!18 Iwill set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I havesinnedagainstheavenandagainstyou.19Iamno longerworthy tobecalledyourson;makemelikeoneofyourhiredservants.’20Sohegotupandwenttohisfather.“Butwhile hewas still a longway off, his father saw him andwas

filledwithcompassionforhim;herantohisson,threwhisarmsaroundhimandkissedhim.21“The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and

againstyou.Iamnolongerworthytobecalledyourson.’22“Butthefathersaidtohisservants,‘Quick!Bringthebestrobeand

putitonhim.Putaringonhisfingerandsandalsonhisfeet.23Bringthefattenedcalfandkillit.Let’shaveafeastandcelebrate.24Forthissonofminewas dead and is alive again; hewas lost and is found.’ So, theybegantocelebrate.25“Meanwhile,theoldersonwasinthefield.Whenhecamenearthe

house,heheardmusicanddancing.26Sohecalledoneof theservantsandaskedhimwhatwasgoingon.27‘Yourbrotherhascome,’hereplied,‘andyourfatherhaskilledthefattenedcalfbecausehehashimbacksafeandsound.’28“Theolderbrotherbecameangryandrefusedtogoin.Sohisfather

wentoutandpleadedwithhim.29Butheansweredhisfather,‘Look!Alltheseyears I’vebeen slaving foryouandneverdisobeyedyourorders.Yetyounevergavemeevenayounggoat so Icouldcelebratewithmyfriends.30Butwhenthissonofyourswhohassquanderedyourpropertywithprostitutescomeshome,youkillthefattenedcalfforhim!’31“‘Myson,’thefathersaid,‘youarealwayswithme,andeverything

I have is yours. 32Butwe had to celebrate and be glad, because thisbrotherofyourswasdeadandisaliveagain;hewaslostandisfound.’”

Oneof thebrilliant truthshangingaround thisparable Jesus tells is that inlife,youwillcomeacrosspeoplewhojustseemtobe“keepingscore.”Theyaretheoneswhoalwaysseemtobewritingdownallthegoodthattheyhavedoneandall thewrongs thatothershavedone. In the story,we’vegot twobrothersand a dad.The younger brother basically tells his dad that hewishes heweredead, and then he leaves town with half of the family money. The youngerbrothersgoesontowasteallthatmoneyandeventuallywindsupinpoverty.

Finally,theyoungerbrothercomestohissensesanddecidestocomehometo see if he canwork for his dad so he can simply eat. But his dad not onlywelcomeshomehisyoungersonbutalsothrowshimahugepartytoboot.It’sanoutrageous,evenirresponsible,actofmercy.

But there’s another brother in the story, and he doesn’t likewhat he sees.Thisisbecausetheolderbrotherintheparableisa“scorekeeper.”Hefeelsthathehasbeenplayingbytherules.Hehaskepthisheaddownandhisnoseclean.Andhecannotstomachtheideaofhisdadacceptinghisyoungbrotherback...muchlessthrowinghimaparty!

Perhapsyouknowascorekeeperortwoinyourlife.Thesearethefriendsorfamilymemberswhoseemtobewalkingaroundwithaledger,alwayskeepingtrackofthegoodtheyaredoingandthebadthateveryoneelseisdoing.Then,whenanopportunemomentarrives,theytallythescoreandremindyouofit.Ifsomethingbadhappenedtothepersonontheirledger,theyremindyouthatheor

she “had it coming.” Or, if something good happened to the person, theycomplainthat“it’snotfair,”becausethey’vedonesomuchmoregoodintheirlife.

Butintheparable,Jesusturnsthenotionof“scorekeeping”onitshead.TheGod character in the story, the father, is ready to celebrate the return of theyounger son just because he loves him. He hasn’t been keeping score of theyounger son’swrongs.He doesn’tmake the sonwork for him to teach him alesson,orevenmakehimtakeanyvowstoneverstrayagain.Thefatherseemstothinkmercyismorevaluable.

Furthermore,thefather’sactionsdemonstrateawayofseeingtheworldthatisn’tlimited.Notonlydoesherefusetokeepscore,buthealsodoesn’tseetheneedtodividethingsupequallyinorderto“makethingsfair.”Hedoesn’tthrowtheoldersonaseparatepartytorewardhisactionsorevenacknowledgeallthethingstheoldersonhasbeendoing.Why?Becauseeverythingthefatherownsalready belongs to the son. For the father, it’s a limitlessworldwhere there’splentytogoaroundandnobodyhastokeepscore.It’saboutgrace—andgraceisnotsomethingweearnbyfollowingtherules.It’sagiftwesimplyreceive.

ThisiswhatJesusinvitesustothinkaboutwiththisparable.Doweseetheworldlikethefather,orarewemoreliketheolderbrother?Astheolderbrotherstandswithhisdad,watchingthepartybegin,willhegoinsideandjoinit?Willheletgoofhisscorecardandrejoiceinhisfather’sgenerosity?Orwillhestayinhistiredoldwaysofscorekeeping?

Inwhatwayscanyou relate to the“scorekeeping”natureof theolderbrother?

[YourResponseHere]

In what ways has God shown you mercy like he did to the youngerbrother?

[YourResponseHere]

HowdoyourespondtotheideathatGoddoesn’tfeeltheneedtodividethingsequallyto“keepeverythingfair”?

[YourResponseHere]

How does this parable challenge you to change your mindset towardothers?

[YourResponseHere]

Doyouthinktheolderbrothereverjoinedtheparty?Moreimportantly,whatwouldyoudoifyouwereinhisplace?

[YourResponseHere]

READ:CATCHPEOPLEONTHEBOUNCE

Read chapters 4 through 6 in Everybody, Always, and then reflect on thefollowingquestions:

DoesyourChristianpracticefeelmorelike“faith”or“compliance”thesedays?Explain.

[YourResponseHere]

Is therea relationshipwhereyou’ve let shamecreateabarrierbetweenyouandsomeoneelse?Whatwoulditlookliketohealthatdivide?

[YourResponseHere]

Whatdoes itmean tobuilda“kingdom”rather thana“castle”when itcomestoacceptingotherswhoaredifferentfromyou?

[YourResponseHere]

What are some ways to love the difficult people in your life “thirtysecondsatatime”?

[YourResponseHere]

Whyisitsoimportanttoreacttothosewhohavefailedwithcompassionandunderstandinginsteadofdisapprovalorindifference?

[YourResponseHere]

Usethespacebelowtowriteanyotherkeypointsorquestionsyouwanttobringtothenextgroupmeeting.Inpreparationforyournextsession,readchapters10

through12.

SESSIONTHREE

DON’TPLAYITSAFE

Playingitsafewillstealyourjoy.

BOBGOFF

JGETTINGSTARTED

esusused to really irritate the religiouspeopleofhisday.Theywerealwaysgettingmadatsomethinghesaidordid,especiallywhenitcametothepoor.

One time,someof these folkswerequestioningJesus’authority.They thoughtJesusdidn’thavetherighttosayallthestuffhewassaying.

Jesusrespondedbytellingastory(asheoftendid),andthenendedwiththisstatement to the religious elite: “Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and theprostitutesareenteringthekingdomofGodaheadofyou”(Matthew21:31).Asyoucan imagine, thatreally gotunder their skin!Butwhywouldhe say this?Tax collectors and prostituteswere the immoral folks nobody liked.They hadblown it and nose-dived in their choices in all theways thosemoral religiouspeople hadn’t. How could these failures-at-life be plugging into God’s worldfirst?

Well,accordingtoJesus,itwaspreciselythefacttheyhadfailedthatmadethedifference.OneofthethingsthatgetsinthewayofusconnectingwithGodisourself-sufficiency.Evenifwefollowalltherules,doalltherightstuff,andprayall therightways,wecanstillmissGodifwe’redoing itallbyourownstrength.ThisisbecausewearemostopentoGodwhenweareneedy,busted,and broken.No one knowswhy it’s thatway, but that’s how it is. It’s in ourfailuresthatwemosteasilyfindGod,notinourgreatachievements.

ThisiswhyJesussaidtheprostitutesandtaxcollectorswereenteringGod’skingdomaheadof the“proper” religious folks.Theyknewall toowellwhat itwas like to be broken and needy. Society didn’twork for them, and they hadbeen pushed to the edges and looked down on because of it.However, in thegreatmysteryofthegospel,thatmarginalizationisexactlywhatopenedthemuptofindinggrace.Andfindittheydid!

Thisupside-downdynamiciswhatthissessionisallabout.It’saboutgettingrealenoughregardingourownfailurestomeettheGodwhowantsnothingmorethan to lavishhisgraceonus.Yes, this canbe scary.Andyes, it’s a risk.ButGodcan’tlavishhisgraceonusifwedon’tthinkwehaveanyneeds.

So,whataboutit?Areyoureadyforgrace?Ifso,getreadytogetrealaboutitallaswejumpintothisweek’steaching.

CHECKINGIN

To get things started for this third session, discuss the following questions: •Whatissomethinginyourlifethatyou’vefailedatbadly?

[YourResponseHere]

•Whatdidyoulearnfromtheexperience?

[YourResponseHere]


•Didyou“talkabouttherightstuff”concerningthethreeindividualsyouidentified?Ifso,howdiditgo?Howdidthepeopleyouspokewithrespond?

[YourResponseHere]

•Whataresomeofthethingsyouwrotedowninreflection?

[YourResponseHere]

•WhatdidyoulearnaboutyourselforaboutGodbyengagingintheseactivities?

[YourResponseHere]

HEARINGTHEWORD


1“Becarefulnottopracticeyourrighteousnessinfrontofotherstobeseen by them. If you do, youwill have no reward from yourFather inheaven.2“Sowhenyougivetotheneedy,donotannounceitwithtrumpets,as

thehypocritesdointhesynagoguesandonthestreets,tobehonoredbyothers.TrulyItellyou,theyhavereceivedtheirrewardinfull.3Butwhenyou give to the needy, do not let your left hand knowwhat your righthandisdoing,4sothatyourgivingmaybeinsecret.ThenyourFather,whoseeswhatisdoneinsecret,willrewardyou.”

Why do you think announcing “your righteousness in front of others” ishypocritical?

[YourResponseHere]

WhatkindofrewardisJesustalkingaboutinverse4?

[YourResponseHere]

WATCHINGTHEVIDEO

Play the video segment for session three. As you watch, use the followingoutlinetorecordanythoughtsorconceptsthatstandouttoyou.

Ifyouover-identifywiththemistakesyou’vemadeanddecideto“playitsafe,”youwillmissoutonsomeofthebestthingsGodhasforyou.

[YourResponseHere]

Jesusdoesn’twantyou to show off your faith—hewants you to live out yourfaith.

[YourResponseHere]

You’re not defined by your biggest failure. And you’re not defined by yourbiggestsuccess.

[YourResponseHere]

Findasafeplacetohavethatdiscussionwhereyousay,“Here’swheretherecitalwentreallybad,andhere’swhatIdidnext.”

[YourResponseHere]

Insteadofmovingawayfromthosewhohavefailed,movetowardthem—nottobenice,buttobeJesus.

[YourResponseHere]

CanyougetrealenoughwithJesustoadmitthatyou’renotfixedyet?Canyouhonestlysay,“IneedasecondtouchfromGod?”

[YourResponseHere]

FailureiswhatGodusestoremindyouofyourtremendousneedforhim.

[YourResponseHere]

Ifyou’rewillingtocatchpeopleonthebounce—tofindthosewhocreepyououtandengagewiththeminlove—peoplewillseeJesusthroughyou.

[YourResponseHere]



1. In the teaching,Bobmakes the point thatChristianity is not like a pianorecital:wedon’tfollowJesusforanaudienceonstage.Haveyoueverbeentemptedtoperformyourfaithforothers?Ifso,whenandwhere?

[YourResponseHere]

2.Whatdoes itmean tomove towardpeoplewhohavefailed,andnotawayfromthem?Howdoesthatwork?

[YourResponseHere]

3.What’sthedifferencebetween“beingnice”and“beingJesus”?

[YourResponseHere]

4. Do you know your “blind spots”—those areas in which youmay not beperceiving the situation accurately? Who is the person in your life whohelpsyoutoseethem?

[YourResponseHere]

5.Haveyouevermadeamistakethatyouhavehadahardtimegettingover?Whatmadegettingoveritsodifficultforyou?

[YourResponseHere]

6.Doyouthinkthisgroupissafeenoughforyoutogetrealtosay,“I’mnot

fixedyet”?Whyorwhynot?

[YourResponseHere]

DOINGTHEWORD

Forthisactivity,eachparticipantwillneedanindexcardandapenorpencil.

For the remainderof this session,youandyourgroupwill spend timesharingrealstuffandgettinghonestaboutyourmistakes.AsBobsaid in the teaching,it’satthisplacethatwemeetGodandcommunityhappens.Startbygrabbinganindexcardandapenorpencil.

On the indexcard,writedownamistakeyouhavemade thatyoufearyoumightbe“over-identifying”with.ThesearethekindsofmistakesthatcankeepyoufromjumpingtowardthelifethatGodhasforyou—theonesthatmakeyouwanttostoptryingandplayitsafebyneverputtingyourselfoutthereagain.Behonest.Nooneisgoingtoreadthecardbutyou.

Onceeveryoneinthegrouphaswrittensomethingdown,taketheindexcardyou’vewrittenandballitupinyourhand.Standwiththegroupinacircle,andthen take two steps back (to make sure everybody has some space). Onceeveryoneisinposition,reflectonthetroublethismistakehascausedyouandthewayyourealizeithasheldyou.Next,considerifyouwouldlikeforthingstobedifferent.

As everyone in the group is thinking about this, take a jump forward as awayofsayingyestoGod’sinvitationofanewlife!Thejumpdoesn’thavetobebig(actually, itshouldn’tbe—becareful!),and itcanalsobeastepforward ifyoucan’tjumpordon’thaveroom.Likewise,ifyou’reseatedandcan’tstand,feelfreetomoveafootorfingerforward.

Basically,whateveractionyoutake,makeitsymbolizeyourdesiretojumptowardthenewlifeGodhasforyouandstopplayingitsafe.

CLOSINGPRAYER

Asyouandthegroupmembersstandtogetherinthecircle,closebyhavingonepersonreadthewordsofPsalm23:1–4asaprayerandpromisefromGod:

TheLORDismyshepherd,Ilacknothing.Hemakesmeliedowningreenpastures,

heleadsmebesidequietwaters,herefreshesmysoul.

Heguidesmealongtherightpathsforhisname’ssake.

EventhoughIwalkthroughthedarkestvalley,

Iwillfearnoevil,foryouarewithme.

Say“amen”togetherandcallitanight!

R

BETWEEN-SESSIONS

PERSONALSTUDY



DO:MOVETOWARDOTHERS

Duringthevideoteachingthisweek,Bobsays,“Insteadofmovingawayfrom[broken,needy,andcreepypeople],ourideaistomovetowardthem.Notjusttobenice,but tobeJesus.”Forthisweek’sDoactivity,youareinvitedtotakearisk...andliterallymovetowardfolkswhoarevulnerableandneedy.

Identifyaplacewheretherearepeopleforwhomthesystemsofoursocietyarenotworking.Thismightbeapublicpark,arescueshelter,abusstation,oranywhere else where people who are intimately acquainted with struggle andeven failuremight be hanging out. Once you’re in this space, just sit and bepresentforatleastthirtyminutes.

Asyouaredoingthis,prayandaskGodtoshowwhereheispresent—andalsoevaluateyourowndiscomfort.Whatareyoulearningaboutyourselfinthisplace?Whatareyoulearningaboutthesepeople’sstruggles?Mostimportantly,whatareyoulearningaboutGod?

Reflect on your experience,make some notes on the next page, and sharewiththeothergroupmembersnextweek.

WhatIlearnedaboutmyself...

[YourResponseHere]

WhatIlearnedaboutthestrugglesofthepeopleinthisplace...

[YourResponseHere]

WhatIlearnedaboutGod...

[YourResponseHere]

REFLECT:“WHAT’SNEXT?”

ReadthefollowingpassagefromJohn9:1–11:

1Ashewentalong,hesawamanblindfrombirth.2Hisdisciplesaskedhim, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was bornblind?”3 “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this

happenedsothattheworksofGodmightbedisplayedinhim.4Aslongasit is day, wemust do theworks of himwho sentme. Night is coming,whennoonecanwork.5WhileIamin theworld, Iamthe lightof theworld.”6After saying this, he spit on the ground,made somemudwith the

saliva,andputitontheman’seyes.7“Go,”he toldhim,“wash in thePoolofSiloam”(thiswordmeans“Sent”).Sothemanwentandwashed,andcamehomeseeing.8Hisneighborsandthosewhohadformerlyseenhimbeggingasked,

“Isn’tthisthesamemanwhousedtositandbeg?”9Someclaimedthathewas.Otherssaid,“No,heonlylookslikehim.”Buthehimselfinsisted,“Iamtheman.”10“Howthenwereyoureyesopened?”theyasked.11Hereplied,“ThemantheycallJesusmadesomemudandputiton

myeyes.He toldme togo toSiloamandwash.So Iwentandwashed,andthenIcouldsee.”

Oneofthethingsweallliketodowhenthingsgowrongisfindsomeonetoblame.Whether it’s little things or big things, blaming someone else for ourtroublesisprettycommon.Peoplehavedoneitfor thousandsofyears . . .andit’snotgoingawayanytimesoon.Buthere’sthethingaboutblaming:Jesusisn’tinterestedinit.

Inthestoryabove,Jesusrunsintoamanwhohasbeenblindhiswholelife.

Immediately,hisdisciplesaskwhosefaultitis.Now,thiswasaprettycommonquestioninJesus’day.Everyoneagreedthataphysicaldisabilitywassomeone’sfault—they just disagreed as to whose fault it was. So, the disciples aregenuinely curious.Was this guy’s blindness a result of something he did? Orsomethinghismomanddaddid?TheyareaskingJesustoputthewholemattertorest.

However,asJesussooftendoes,hetranscendsthecircumstancebyinvitingthedisciplestoseehowGodisworkingatawholeotherlevel.Jesusexplainstheman’s blindnesswas neither his nor his parents’ fault. Instead, he says, “ThishappenedsothattheworksofGodmightbedisplayedinhim.”ThenJesushealshim.Boom.

Jesuswasn’tinterestedinwhowasatfaultinthisman’ssituation.Heknewthediscipleswereaskingthewrongquestion.AndhewasattentivetowhatGodwasgoingtodonext.Thisiswhereitgetsinterestingforusaswell.

When things have gone wrong in our lives, we can spend a ton of timedwellingonwhosefaultitwasandresentthepeoplewhowefeelgotusintothisspot. And, to be fair, sometimes we need to do this. Forgiveness andreconciliationcanonlyhappenwhenwenameandacknowledgethetruthsaboutwhathashappenedtous.However,wecan’tstaythere.

HealinginvolvesmovingforwardandlookingtoseewhatGodisgoingtodonext.OurGodisaGodwhowastesnothing.Thereisnoeventsosadandbrokenthathecan’tbringsomethingnewandbeautifuloutof it. It iswhatGoddoes,andthat’sagoodthing.ThequestioniswhetherwecantrustwhatGodisdoing.Can we bring the broken events in our lives to God and trust him to makesomethingbeautifuloutofthem?

JesussaysthisiswhatGoddoes.Thequestionis,doyoubelieveit?

Howdoyou respond to this scene in John9:1–11? Inwhatwayshaveyouseenpeopletodayaskingthesamequestionasthedisciples?

[YourResponseHere]

Where are you feeling themost tempted to look backward and ascribeblameforthehardthingsinyourlife?

[YourResponseHere]

Whenwasatimewhensomethinggoodemergedoutofasadandtragiccircumstance?

[YourResponseHere]

Doyouthinkthiskindofthingcouldhappenforyouagain?Whyorwhynot?

[YourResponseHere]

READ:DON’TPLAYITSAFE


Whyisimportanttonotalwaysbelookingforthe“greenlights”whenitcomestoboldlysteppingoutinfaithandlovingothers?

[YourResponseHere]

HowhaveyouwitnessedJesushelpingyouto“seemore”spirituallyasyou’vecontinuedtofollowhim?

[YourResponseHere]

WhenhasavoiceofdefeattemptedyoutoquitwhatyouknewGodwasleadingyoutodo?Howdidyourespondtothatsituation?

[YourResponseHere]

Whenyouthinkaboutthewordevangelism,doesitbringuppositiveornegativeassociations?Whydidyouanswerthewayyoudid?

[YourResponseHere]

Jesusinvitesustomovefrommerelyidentifyingwithsomeone’spaintostandingwiththatpersoninit.Whatisthedifferencebetweenthetwo?Whereisaplaceinyourlifethatyouhaveanopportunityto“standin”someone’spainwithhimorher?

[YourResponseHere]

Usethespacebelowtowriteanyotherkeypointsorquestionsyouwanttobringtothenextgroupmeeting.Inpreparationforyournextsession,readchapters14through16.

SESSIONFOUR

LOOKATWHAT’SINYOURBUCKET

Iwanttohavethatnewcarsmell,thatnewcreationsmell,andIthinkyoudotoo.

BOBGOFF

IGETTINGSTARTED

nJesus’day,eatingwithpeoplewasabigdeal.Thisisbecauseifyouatewithsomeone,itmeantthatyouwereinterestedinbeingfriendswithhimorher.It

meant you accepted that person, and it was a sign to everyone else in thecommunityaboutwhatmatteredtoyou.

Based on this, you’d think that Jesus would have picked all the morallyupright,virtuouspeopletoeatwith.Afterall,thesewerethefolkswhohadbeen“getting it right” and showingeverybodyelsehow itwasdone. It onlymakessensethatJesuswouldwanttopointthemoutbyhavinglunch,right?

Well,you’dbesurprised.Ormaybeyouwouldn’t.Insteadofalwayseatingwiththerule-followingreligiouspeople,Jesusoften

atewith thewrongkindsofpeople.Thepeoplewhohadblown it.Thepeoplewhowere not respected.The peoplewhowere seen as theworst examples ofgodlyliving.Andhere’sthething...itdrovethereligiouspeoplenuts.

Onetime,whenthesefolksaskedJesusaboutwhyhedidthis,Jesusreplied,“Itisnotthehealthywhoneedadoctor,butthesick.Ihavenotcometocalltherighteous,butsinnerstorepentance”(Luke5:31–32).

Ofcourse.JesusknewthatwhatopenspeopleuptoanauthenticrelationshipwithGodistheirneed.Ifthissoundsfamiliar(asin,didn’tthelastsessionopenwiththesamelesson?),you’dberight.ItisamajorthemeinJesus’ministry.Buthere’swherethislessondivergesfromthelastone:openinguptoGodisnotjustabout recognizing your own need but also about moving toward other needypeople.

Eventheonesyoumayfindabitcreepy.Here’s the thing: if you hang around needy people, you’ll find Jesus. No

doubt.Sothequestionforthisweekis,“DoyouwanttomeetJesus?”Thissessionshowshowitworks.

CHECKINGIN

Togetthingsstartedforthisfourthsession,discussthefollowingquestions:

•Whowasyourbestfriendgrowingup?Wheredidthetwoofyoumeet?

[YourResponseHere]

•Areyoustillintouch?Ifnot,whydoyouthinkthetwoofyoudriftedapart?

[YourResponseHere]


•DidyoudotheMoveTowardOthersactivity?Ifso,howdiditgo?

[YourResponseHere]

•Whatotherreflectionsdoyouhavetosharewiththegroup?

[YourResponseHere]

•WhatdidyoulearnaboutyourselforaboutGod?

[YourResponseHere]

HEARINGTHEWORD

ReadaloudinthegroupthefollowingpassagefromJohn17:20–23:

20“My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who willbelieve in me through their message, 21 that all of them may be one,Father,justasyouareinmeandIaminyou.Maytheyalsobeinussothattheworldmaybelievethatyouhavesentme.22Ihavegiventhemtheglorythatyougaveme,thattheymaybeoneasweareone—23Iinthemandyouinme—sothattheymaybebroughttocompleteunity.Thentheworldwillknowthatyousentmeandhavelovedthemevenasyouhavelovedme.

WhatdoyouthinkJesushasinmindwhenhepraysthatallhisdiscipleswouldbe“one”?

[YourResponseHere]

JesussaystheunityofhisdisciplesiswhatwilltelltheworldthathewassentfromGod(seeverse23).Isthechurchoftodayknownforitsunity?Ifso,wheredoyouseeit?Ifnot,whynot?

[YourResponseHere]

WATCHINGTHEVIDEO

Playthevideosegmentforsessionfour.Asyouwatch,usethefollowingoutlinetorecordanythoughtsorconceptsthatstandouttoyou.

You will turn into whatever you fill your “bucket” with. If you fill it with abunchoflove,you’llactuallyturnintolove.

[YourResponseHere]

ThepromiseofScriptureisthatweeachgettobenewcreations.

[YourResponseHere]

If youwantmore faith, domore stuff—and don’t do it because Jesus “needsyourhelp.”Hedoesn’tneedyourhelp,buthedoeswantyourheart.

[YourResponseHere]

InJohn17,Jesusbasicallysaid,“Ifyouwanttoknowwhatit’slikebetweenmeandmyDad, just seehowpeopleareone—andyoucan’tbeone ifyouaren’tengaged.”

[YourResponseHere]

Godgrowsusupbylettingusdothingsandexperienceuncomfortablethings—becausecomfortablepeopledon’tneedJesus.Desperatepeopledo.

[YourResponseHere]

Don’tjustagreewithJesus.Actuallydowhathesaid.

[YourResponseHere]

Jesuswasalwaysavailable.Hehadtimeforeverybody.

[YourResponseHere]

Who’s somebody you could engage whom you’ve been avoiding? Who issomebodywhohaskindofcreepedyououtinthepastthatyoucouldengage?

[YourResponseHere]



1.Are thereanydifficultpeopleorhardcircumstances thathavegrownyourfaith?Ifso,whoorwhatwerethey?Howdidyougrowfromthem?

[YourResponseHere]

2.Howwould you describe the difference betweenagreeingwith Jesus anddoingwhatJesussaid?Whatdoesthislooklikeinyourlife?

[YourResponseHere]

3.Ifit’struethatwhateveryoufillyourbucketwithyou’llbecome,thenwhatwouldyoumostliketofillyourbucketwith?

[YourResponseHere]

4.IsthereanythingthatyouneedtotakeoutofyourbucketinordertolivethelifeGodhasforyou?Ifso,howwillyoustarttodothis?

[YourResponseHere]

5.Webecomeopen to Jesuswhenweareuncomfortable, afraid,or inneed.Whatwouldyournext“uncomfortable”stepbeinordertobeopentoGodinanewway?

[YourResponseHere]

DOINGTHEWORD

For this activity, each participantwill need five to six slips of paper (nothinglargerthan1”×6”),aStyrofoamcoffeecup(orDixiecup),andapenorpencil.

Duringtheteachingthisweek,Bobtalksabout“buckets”andsaysthatwhateveryoufillyoubucketwith,thatiswhatyou’llbecome.Fillitwithbusinessdeals,andyou’llbecomeabusinessperson.Fillitwitharguments,andyou’llbecomealawyer.Fillitwithlove,andyou’llbecomelove.Youcanfillyourbucketwithall sortsofgoodstuff thatwillhelpyou loveothers,oryoucan fill itwithallsortsofnegativestuffthatwillgetinyourway.

So, tocloseout this time together,you’regoing toevaluatewhat’s inyourbucket. Start by picking up a pen or pencil and one of the cups. The cuprepresentsyour“bucket.”Next,usingtheslipsofpaperprovided,writedownafew things in your bucket that get in theway of you doing the stuff Jesus iscallingyou todo.This couldbeanything from fear, resentments,work, socialmedia,andthelike.Justsayaprayer,behonest,andwriteeachonedownonaseparateslipofpaper.

Once you’re done, stack your slips of paper facedown and set themaside.Remember,noone isgoing tosee thisbutyou.Next,writedowntwo to threethingsthatyouwant tofillyourbucketwith.Theseare the thingsyouwant toturn into—the stuff that needs to happen in your life tomake reaching out toeventhecreepiestpeoplepossible.Onceyou’redone,stackyourslipsofpaperfacedownandsetthemaside.Again,nooneshouldseethesebutyou.

Now,onceeveryonehas their twopiles,ballup theslipswith thenegativestuffwrittenonthem,andone-by-oneputthemintoyourcup.Thisisawayofrecognizingwhat’sgoingoninyourlifenow.Sayaprayerandtakeeachslipoutofyourbucket,oneatatime.ThisisawayofsayingtoGod,“Idon’twantthisinfluenceonmylifeanymore,andI’mreadytogetridofit.”

Afterthis—stayinginthatsameplaceofprayer—taketheslipsofpaperthatnamewhatyouwant to fill yourbucketwith.Again,oneat a time, fold themoverandplacetheminyourbucket.Aseachonegoesin,letyourprayerbeonethat says, “God, I need more of this in my life. Please help me make thatpossible.”

Butyou’renotdonejustyet. . .thesurprisetwististhatyou’regoingtake

your“bucket”withyoueverywhereyougothisweek.Letitbeasymbolofwhatyou’reaskingGodtodoinyouandareminderofthekindofpersonyouwanttobecome!Payattentiontohowitspresenceshapesyourattitudesandimagination,and pay attention to howGod uses it show you things about him.Take somenotesabouthowitwenttosharewiththegroupnextweek.

CLOSINGPRAYER

ClosethemeetingbyprayingthatGodwouldhelpyou“fillyourbucket”withthe right things. Ask that he would fill your life with his plans so you canbecomemorelikehim.

R

BETWEEN-SESSIONS

PERSONALSTUDY



DO:BEAVAILABLE

Duringthevideoteachingforthisweek,Bobnoteshowhedoesnotsendanyonetovoicemail.Ashesays,“Peopledon’tfollowvision;theyfollowavailability.And there’s somethingbeautiful that happens.Every time I pickup thephoneandsay‘hello,’I’vejustansweredeveryquestionanybodyhas.Peoplejustwanttoknow,‘Isitreallytrue?’Theywanttoknowthataboutyou,andtheywanttoknowthataboutme,andwecananswerthatbysaying,‘hello.’”

For this activity, simply spend the rest of theweekpickingupyourphoneeverytimeitrings.Thismightseemcrazy,butseewhatGoddoeswithit.Andifthat’s toomuchtrouble, thenat least tryit foradayorevenanafternoon.Justtakeonesteptowardbeingavailable,andseehowJesusmeetsyouthere.

Oh...andifyoudon’thaveamobilephone,itdoesn’tmeanyougetoutofthis.Dootherthingstobeavailable,likeworkwithyourdooropenintheoffice,oreatinthebreakroom,orgowherepeopleareaskingformoneyonthestreetandgetinaconversationwiththem.Whateveryouchoosetodo,makenoteofitbelow,bringyourexperiencestosharewiththegroupatthenextsession—anddon’tforgettotakeyourbucketalong.

REFLECT:NOWYOU’RETALKING

ReadthefollowingpassagefromMatthew25:31–46:

31“WhentheSonofMancomesinhisglory,andalltheangelswithhim,hewillsitonhisgloriousthrone.32Allthenationswillbegatheredbeforehim, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherdseparatesthesheepfromthegoats.33Hewillputthesheeponhisrightandthegoatsonhisleft.34“ThentheKingwillsaytothoseonhisright,‘Come,youwhoare

blessedbymyFather; take your inheritance, the kingdomprepared foryousincethecreationoftheworld.35ForIwashungryandyougavemesomethingtoeat,Iwasthirstyandyougavemesomethingtodrink,Iwasastrangerandyouinvitedmein,36Ineededclothesandyouclothedme,Iwassickandyoulookedafterme,Iwasinprisonandyoucametovisitme.’37“Then therighteouswillanswerhim, ‘Lord,whendidweseeyou

hungryandfeedyou,orthirstyandgiveyousomethingtodrink?38Whendidweseeyouastrangerandinviteyouin,orneedingclothesandclotheyou?39Whendidweseeyousickorinprisonandgotovisityou?’40“TheKingwillreply,‘TrulyItellyou,whateveryoudidforoneof

theleastofthesebrothersandsistersofmine,youdidforme.’41“Thenhewillsaytothoseonhisleft,‘Departfromme,youwhoare

cursed,intotheeternalfirepreparedforthedevilandhisangels.42ForIwashungryandyougavemenothingtoeat,Iwasthirstyandyougavemenothingtodrink,43Iwasastrangerandyoudidnotinvitemein,Ineededclothesandyoudidnotclotheme,Iwassickandinprisonandyoudidnotlookafterme.’44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or

thirstyorastrangerorneedingclothesorsickorinprison,anddidnothelpyou?’

45“Hewillreply,‘TrulyItellyou,whateveryoudidnotdoforoneoftheleastofthese,youdidnotdoforme.’46“Thentheywillgoawaytoeternalpunishment,buttherighteousto

eternallife.”

Thisparticularpassage fromMatthew’sGospel isperhapsoneof themostcomplexandconfusinginthewholeBible.It’soneofthosepassagesthatwe’dliketojustglossover,because,ifwe’rehonest,itkindofmakesJesuslookbad.There’s sheep and goats, great separations, but also . . . eternal punishment.Whatisgoingonhere?

The answer is lots of things, but for this study we want to look at oneparticularpartoftheparable:thebiglistofstuffJesusproclaimsthatwhendonetoothers,it’slikedoingittohim.Youknowthelist:feedingthehungry,givingthethirstyadrink,welcomingstrangers,clothingthenaked,caringforthesick,andvisitingpeopleinprison.Intheparable,Jesussaysthecriteriaofwhoendsupasheeporagoathastodowiththeselists.

Andyet. . . ifwehaveagospelthatisallaboutgrace,unconditionallove,andunearnedmercy,thendoingtherightthingscan’tbeawaytoearnaspotinGod’s kingdom. If so, it would be the opposite of everything that Jesus hadtaughtupuntilthispoint.So,ifthelistsaren’taboutthat,whataretheyabout?

Awhile ago, a pastor namedGaryChapman published a book calledTheFiveLoveLanguages.Inthebook,hetalksabouthowpeoplegiveandreceiveloveinoneoffivedifferentways:

(1)actsofservice(2)wordsofaffirmation(3)qualitytime(4)physicaltouch(5)givinggifts

Eachoftheseactsislikea“language”thatweusetocommunicatetoothers.Using someone’s love language is a tangibleway to say, “I really care aboutyou.”

IsitpossiblethatallthesegoodworksJesusmentionsinMatthew25:31–46—theonesthatareonthelist—aresimplyGod’slovelanguage?MightitbethecasethatthelistisnotabunchofthingswehavetodototrytoearnGod’slove

butinsteadareadescriptionofhowtoliveinwaysthatsaytoGod,“Ireallycareaboutyou”?AsBobnoted, Jesusdoesn’twantourhelp,buthedoeswantourheart.Maybethisisjustthewaytogiveittohim.

WhatquestionsdoesthisparableofJesusbringupforyou?

[YourResponseHere]

Whataresomeof thewaysthatpeopleshowlovetoyou?Andwhat isyourprimary“lovelanguage”toexpresscaretoothers?

[YourResponseHere]

IfGod’s“lovelanguage”involvesreachingouttopeopleinallkindsofneed,whereareyoualreadyengagedinthatkindofservice?

[YourResponseHere]

Are there other opportunities for connecting with the needy that Godmightbecallingyoutodoaswell?

[YourResponseHere]

READ:DOMORESTUFF


Whenaresometimesyou’veseenGodleadingyoufromthesafestroutetotheonethathelpedyougrowthemost?

[YourResponseHere]

Howwould it changeyour life ifyouviewedeverypersonyoumet asJesus?

[YourResponseHere]

WhatisJesus’ultimate“plan”foruswhenitcomestoservingothers?

[YourResponseHere]

WhatdoyouthinkJesusmeantwhenhesaidthatifwemakeabigdealaboutwhatwe’redoingnow—hopingsomeonewillclap—we’vealreadygottenourreward?

[YourResponseHere]

Whathashelpingotherstaughtyoupersonallyaboutthecostofgrace?

[YourResponseHere]

Usethespacebelowtowriteanyotherkeypointsorquestionsyouwanttobringtothenextgroupmeeting.Inpreparationforyournextsession,readchapters20through24.

SESSIONFIVE

LOVEEVENTHEDIFFICULTPEOPLE

Goddidn’tsayitwouldbeeasy.Hejustsaiditwouldwork.

BOBGOFF

SGETTINGSTARTED

o,whatdoesthisallmeanforus?Thisisthebigquestionwe’reaskinginthisfinalsession.Duringthelastfoursessions,we’vediscussedhowlovingJesus

doesn’tmeanwehavetocrosstheocean,wejusthavetocrossthestreet.We’veseen that the people who creep us out the most are also our neighbors—andlovingthemmeanslearningtheirstories.We’velearnedthatdoingthiskindofthingcanberisky,butthatinJesuswecanactuallybecomepeoplewhotaketherisk.

Allthismeansthere’syetonemorestepforustotake:wehavetoactuallydo it. There’s a difference between learning about how to do something andactually taking a step to do it. The plan for this final session is to get youthinking about howyou are going to love everybody, always.Aswewill see,this includes your friends, family, and acquaintances, but it also includes thedifficultpeopleyoudon’tnormallygetalongwith—whomightbecalledyour“enemies.”

You’ve been training for this. All the in-between sessions activities havebeendesigned togrowyour imaginationandstretchyourcomfortzonesoyoucan make your own plan for what comes next. So take a deep breath, say aprayer,andjumpintothissession.

And don’t worry. If you blow it a time or two, remember that God willalwaysbetheretocatchyouonthebounce.

CHECKINGIN

Togetthingsstartedforthisfinalsession,discussthefollowingquestions:

•Howdoyourespondtothisideaoftakingstepstolovethedifficultpeopleinyourlife?

[YourResponseHere]

•Whataresomechallengesthatyouthinkyouwillhaveindoingthis?

[YourResponseHere]

Last week, you were invited to take your “bucket” around with you as areminderofthekindofpersonyouwanttobecome.

•Didyoudothis?Ifso,howdiditgo?Whatwasyourexperiencelike?

[YourResponseHere]

•Didyoudoanyoftheotheractivitiesfromthebetween-sessionspersonalstudy?Ifso,whichones?

[YourResponseHere]

•Whatdidyoulearnaboutyourself?WhatdidyoulearnaboutGod?

[YourResponseHere]

HEARINGTHEWORD


43“Youhaveheardthatitwassaid,‘Loveyourneighborandhateyourenemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those whopersecuteyou,45thatyoumaybechildrenofyourFatherinheaven.Hecauses his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on therighteousand theunrighteous.46 Ifyou love thosewho loveyou,whatrewardwillyouget?Arenoteventhetaxcollectorsdoingthat?47Andifyougreetonlyyourownpeople,whatareyoudoingmore thanothers?Donotevenpagansdothat?48Beperfect, therefore,asyourheavenlyFatherisperfect.

Whatisonepracticalwayyou’veseensomeonelovehisorherenemy?

[YourResponseHere]

Since thegospel is all aboutpeoplewhomakemistakesand findGod in theirfailure, what do you think Jesus means when he tells his disciples to “beperfect”?

[YourResponseHere]

WATCHINGTHEVIDEO

Playthevideosegmentforsessionfive.Asyouwatch,usethefollowingoutlinetorecordanythoughtsorconceptsthatstandouttoyou.

Your stories, and theway you applywhat you’ve learned about faith towhatyou’velearnedinyourlife,actuallyhavetheabilitytochangepeople.

[YourResponseHere]

If you really want a grade on where you’re at in your faith, see how you’retreatingthepeoplewhocreepyouout.

[YourResponseHere]

Peoplewhoputwheelsontheirfaitharewillingtotaketremendousriskstodothat.Notsothey’rethehero,orthevictim,butsothey’reaparticipant.

[YourResponseHere]

Wedon’tneedtounderstandeverythingaboutforgivenesstogetalittleofit.

[YourResponseHere]

Onyourveryworstday—on thatdayofyourbiggest screw-up thatyoudon’twanttoletanybodyknowabout—Godstillcallsyouhisbeloved.

[YourResponseHere]

Doyouwanttobe“perfect”badenoughthatyou’rewillinggetpastallthestuffthatiskeepingyouwrappedaroundtheaxle?

[YourResponseHere]

Insteadoftryingtofigureeverybodyout,justloveeverybody.

[YourResponseHere]

What’syournextsteptomovealittleclosertotheAuthoroflove?Whatisyournextsteptomovetowardlovingeverybody,always?

[YourResponseHere]



1.ConsiderBob’s story in thisweek’s teachingaboutKabi thewitchdoctor.Whatstuckouttoyou,touchedyou,oreveninspiredyou?

[YourResponseHere]

2.DoyourelatetoBob’sstatementaboutspendinghiswholelifeavoidingtheverypeopleJesuswasalwaysengaging?Whyorwhynot?

[YourResponseHere]

3.Haveyoueverbeensomeoneelse’senemy?Doyouknowwhy?

[YourResponseHere]

4.Isiteasierforyoutoforgiveortoreceiveforgivenessfromothers?

[YourResponseHere]

5.Whataresomehealthyprecautionstotakeindealingwiththosepeoplewhoare just unsafe to be around? How can these precautions keep you frombeingstuckinfearwhenitcomestoapproachingthem?

[YourResponseHere]

6.WhatisthemostthreateningpartofBob’schallengeto“justdoit”whenitcomestolovingyourenemies?

[YourResponseHere]

DOINGTHEWORD

For this activity, each participant will need one sheet of paper and a pen orpencil.

For the past four weeks, you have engaged in the Everybody, Always studythroughgroupdiscussionandapracticalactivitydesigned tohelpyou learn toloveeverybody, always.Theseactivitieshavebeenprovided foryou . . . untilnow!Thisweek,it’syourturn.

On the sheet of paper, make a list of your “enemies.” Now, these can beactualenemies,meaningpeoplewhoareactively trying todoyouharmin theworld. They can also be the people you have avoided in the past—somebodyfromwhomyou’reestranged,orevensomebodyfromwhomyou’vekeptyourdistancebecauseheorshewoundedyoudeeply.

Once you and your group members have completed the list, take fiveminutestowritebesideeachnameseveralwaysthatyoucantoconnectwiththatperson.This couldbea socialmediaaccount, email address,phonenumber, acommon acquaintance—anything will do for a starting point. Next, pick onepersonon the listwhomyouwill reachout toand loveafter thestudy isover.Sketchoutyourplanonthepaperforhowyou’reactuallygoingtodoit.

After the fiveminutes are up, share with the group some of what you’vewritten.Tell thegroupthepersononthelistwhomyouaregoingtoapproach.Remember,asBobsaysduringtheteaching,ifanyofthepeopleonyourlistaredangerous or unsafe, be smart about all this and ask the group for advice andguidance.Theideaistoleavethissessionwithaplanforwhatyour“nextstep”towardlovingotherswillbe.

Use the following questions to close out your time and reflect on theexperienceofthestudyasawhole.

Beforegoingthroughthisstudy,Iusedtothink___________________,butnowIwonder_____________.

Thebestthingaboutthisexperiencewas____________.Theworstthingwas_________.

If I could describe my Everybody, Always experience in one word, itwouldbe:_______________.

CLOSINGPRAYER

Close themeetingbypraying thatGodwouldgiveyou thecourage tonot justagreewithJesusbutactuallygooutanddowhathesays.Thenpray thatGodwould help you to not allow fear to hold you back in truly loving everybody,always.

R

FINAL

PERSONALSTUDY

eflectonthecontentthatyou’vecoveredduringthisfinalweekinEverybody,Alwaysbyengaginginanyorallofthefollowingbetween-sessionsactivities.

Thetimeyouinvestwillbewellspent,soletGoduseit todrawyouclosertohim.Besuretosharewithyourgroupleaderorgroupmembersintheupcomingweeksanykeypointsorinsightsthatstoodouttoyou.

DO:BLESSYOURHEART

Thechallenge for thisweek is to followupon the“next step”you formulatedwithyourgroupat thegroup time.This ispartof thegrandadventureyouareinvitedintowhenyoufollowJesus!Don’tpayyourdiscipleshiplipserviceonly.Get out there thisweek and take that next step!But if you’re stuck anddon’tknowhowtomovetowardthisgoal,here’saplacetostart.

In the book of Romans, Paul says you should “bless thosewho persecuteyou;blessanddonotcurse”(12:14).Onewaytoliveoutthisteachingistocalltomindoneofthe“enemies”onthelistyoumadeduringthegrouptime—theoneyoufinditthehardestofalltolove.Then,whileyou’reholdingthatpersoninyourthoughts,askthatGodwouldblesshimorher.

That’sit.It’sthatsimple.Exceptthatwhenyoutryit,youwillprobablyfindthatit’snot!Offeringaprayerofblessingforsomeonewhohashurtyouordonewrong toyoucanfeel reallyweird.But that’sbecauseGod isusing it togrowyouandsetyoufree.

Now,youarenotblessingthepeoplewhoareouttogetyousothey’llhavesome sort of divine encounterwithGod (though thatwould be cool,wouldn’tit?). Instead, you are blessing them soyou can be released from the stuff thatclogs your heart—things like hate, bitterness, and resentment.You bless thembecause it’sgoodforbothpartiesand,on theoffchance theopportunityarisesforthetwoofyoutoreconcile,you’llbeready.

So,goforthandblesstheirhearts...inthenameofJesus.

PRAY:FORGIVEASTHEY’VEBEENFORGIVEN

Readthefollowingpassagefrom2Corinthians2:5–11:

5Ifanyonehascausedgrief,hehasnotsomuchgrievedmeashehasgrieved all of you to some extent—not to put it too severely. 6 Thepunishmentinflictedonhimbythemajorityissufficient.7Nowinstead,yououghttoforgiveandcomforthim,sothathewillnotbeoverwhelmedbyexcessivesorrow.8Iurgeyou,therefore,toreaffirmyourloveforhim.9AnotherreasonIwroteyouwastoseeifyouwouldstandthetestandbeobedientineverything.10Anyoneyouforgive,Ialsoforgive.AndwhatIhave forgiven—if therewas anything to forgive—I have forgiven in thesightofChristforyoursake,11inorderthatSatanmightnotoutwitus.Forwearenotunawareofhisschemes.

PaulhasbeencorrespondingwiththeCorinthianchurch,anditappearsthatoneoftheirmembersdidsomethinginappropriatetohim.Wedon’tknowwhatitwas, but we do know Paul is aware of it and has heard how the communityworked through it with the person. As a result, even though Paul hasn’t yetreconciledwith theoffender, he tells the church that theway they forgave theperson is all he needs. As of now, he’s good. The Corinthians don’t need toprotecthishonorbyshamingthisguyanymore.Theirwitnessofforgivenessisallheneeds.

Couldtherebeamoredifferentattitudefromwhatwefindtoday?Holdinggrudges is like an Olympic sport in our culture. Oftentimes, we’re not evenholding them against the peoplewho did anything tous—we’reholding themagainstpeoplewhodidstufftoourfriends,spouses,orkids.Theproblemwiththisisit’snothelping.Infact,it’smakingussick,becauseit’sforcingustostoreup all sorts of resentment and pain in our hearts.We thinkwe’re holding thegrudgetopunishtheotherperson,wheninfactwe’rejusthurtingourselves.

Solet’sfollowtheexampleofPaul.Ifthere’ssomebodywho’shardforyoutolove,don’tletamistakeheorshemadewithsomeoneelsebearoadblockforyou.Youcanforgivethatperson.

WhatstrikesyouaboutPaul’swordstothechurchin2Corinthians2:5–11?

[YourResponseHere]

Areyoucurrentlycarryingagrudgeaboutsomethingthathappenedtoalovedone?Whatisit?

[YourResponseHere]

Whatwouldneedtohappenforyoutobeabletoforgivetheoffenderandletitgo?

[YourResponseHere]

WhatwouldyouneedfromGodtomakethatpossible?

[YourResponseHere]

READ:LOVEEVENTHEDIFFICULTPEOPLE


What are some situations you are facing right nowwhere you need tohear God say, “Be not afraid”? What would it take for you to becourageousinthatsituation?

[YourResponseHere]

WhenaresometimesthatGod“blewyourmind”andusedunbelievablethingstohelpyouexperiencehispower?

[YourResponseHere]

Every day, we get to decide whether we’re really following Jesus ortreating him like “he’s just a Sherpa carrying our stuff.” What is thedifferencebetweenthetwo?

[YourResponseHere]

Whenyouthinkaboutyourlife,doyoutendtolookathowfaryouhavetogoorseehowfaryou’vecome?Whydoyouthinkyouansweredlikeyoudid?

[YourResponseHere]

Howhaveyouseenyour lifechangeasyou’velearnedto lovedifficultpeople?Howhaveyouseenyourlovingactionschangeanotherperson’slife?

[YourResponseHere]

LEADER’SGUIDE

Thank you for your willingness to lead a group through Everybody, Always!Whatyouhavechosentodoisimportant,andmuchgoodfruitcancomefromstudies like this. The rewards of being a leader are different from those ofparticipating,andwehopeasyouleadyouwillfindyourownwalkwithJesusdeepenedbythisexperience.

Everybody, Always is a five-session study built around video content andsmall-group interaction.As thegroup leader, imagineyourselfas thehostofadinnerparty.Yourjobistotakecareofyourguestsbymanagingallthebehind-the-scenesdetailssothatasyourguestsarrive,theycanfocusoneachotherandoninteractionaroundthetopic.

Asthegroupleader,yourroleisnottoanswerallthequestionsorreteachthecontent—thevideo,book,andstudyguidewilldomostofthatwork.Yourjobistoguide theexperienceandcultivateyour smallgroup intoakindof teachingcommunity. This will make it a place for members to process, question, andreflect—notreceivemoreinstruction.

There are several elements in this leader’s guide thatwill helpyou asyoustructure your study and reflection time, so be sure to follow along and takeadvantageofeachone.

BEFOREYOUBEGIN

Beforeyour firstmeeting,makesureeveryone in thegrouphasacopyof thisstudyguidesotheycanfollowalongandhavetheiranswerswrittenoutaheadoftime.Thiswillkeepeveryoneonthesamepageandhelptheprocessrunmoresmoothly.Alternately,youcanhandout the studyguides atyour firstmeetingandgive thegroupmembers some time to lookover thematerial and ask anypreliminaryquestions.

Likewise, encourage each participant (or couple) to also get a copy of thebookEverybody,Alwayssotheycancompletethesuggestedreadingsinthein-between sessions personal study, should they desire to do so. If this is notpossible,seeifanyonefromthegroupiswillingtodonateanextracopyortwoforsharing.Givingeveryoneaccesstoallthematerialwillhelpthisstudybeasrewardinganexperienceaspossible.Duringyourfirstmeeting,alsobesuretosendasheetofpaperaroundtheroomandhavethememberswritedowntheirname, phone number, and email address so you can keep in touchwith themduringtheweek.

Generally, the ideal size for a group is about eight to ten people, whichensureseveryonewillhaveenoughtimetoparticipateindiscussions.Ifyouhavemorepeople,breakupthemaingroupintosmallersubgroups.Encouragethosewho show up at the first meeting to commit to attending the duration of thestudy, as this will help the group members get to know each other, createstabilityforthegroup,andhelpyouknowhowtoprepareeachweek.

HOSPITALITY

Asgroupleader,you’llwanttocreateanenvironmentconducivetosharingandlearning.Achurchsanctuaryorformalclassroommaynotbeidealforthiskindofmeetingbecausetheycanfeelformalandlessintimate.Whereveryouchoose,make sure there is enough comfortable seating for everyone and, if possible,arrangetheseatsinasemicirclesoeveryonecanseethevideoeasily.Thiswillmake transition between the video and group conversationmore efficient andnatural.

Also,trytogettothemeetingsiteearlysoyoucangreetparticipantsastheyarrive. Simple refreshments create a welcoming atmosphere and can be awonderfuladdition toagroupstudyevening. Ifyoudo serve food, try to takeinto account any food allergies or dietary restrictions your group may have.Also,ifyoumeetinahome,youwillwanttofindoutifthehousehaspets(incasethereareanyallergies)andevenconsiderofferingchildcaretocoupleswithchildrenwhowanttoattend.

Finally,besureyourmediatechnologyisworkingproperly.Managingthesedetailsupfrontwillmaketherestofyourgroupexperienceflowmoresmoothlyand provide awelcoming space inwhich to engage the content ofEverybody,Always.

STRUCTURINGTHEGROUPTIME

Youwill need todeterminewithyourgrouphow longyouwant tomeet eachweeksoyoucanplanyourtimeaccordingly.Generally,mostgroupsliketomeetforeithersixtyminutesorninetyminutes,soyoucoulduseoneofthefollowingschedules:

Section 60Minutes 90Minutes

WELCOME(Membersarriveandgetsettled) 5minutes 10minutes

CHECKINGIN(Discussoneortwooftheopeningquestionsforthesession) 5minutes 15minutes

HEARINGTHEWORD(Discussoneortwoofthequestionsinthissection) 5minutes 15minutes

WATCHINGTHEVIDEO(Watchtheteachingmaterialtogetherandtakenotes) 20minutes 20minutes

DISCUSSINGTHETEACHING(discusstheBiblestudyquestionsyouselected) 25minutes 30minutes

Asthegroupleader,itisuptoyoutokeeptrackofthetimeandkeepthingsmovingalongaccordingtoyourschedule.Youmightwanttosetatimerforeachsegmentsobothyouandthegroupmembersknowwhenyourtimeisup.(Notethere are some good phone apps for timers that play a gentle chime or otherpleasantsoundinsteadofadisruptivenoise.)

LEADINGYOURGROUP

Ifyouarenew to leadingasmallgroup,what followsaresomesimple tips tomaking your group time healthy, enjoyable, and effective. First, considerbeginningthemeetingwithawordofprayer.Thenremindpeopletosilenceandputawaytheirmobilephones.Thisisawaytosay“yes”tobeingpresenttooneanotherandtoGod.

Each of the sessions beginswith an opening reflection.The twoquestionsthatfollowinthe“CheckingIn”sectionserveasanicebreakertogetthegroupmembersthinkingaboutthetopicathand.Somepeoplemaywanttotellalongstoryinresponsetooneofthesequestions,butthegoalis tokeeptheanswersbrief.Ideally,youwanteveryoneinthegrouptogetachancetoanswer,sotrytokeeptheresponsestoaminuteorless.Ifyouhavetalkativegroupmembers,sayupfrontthateveryoneneedstolimittheanswertooneminute.

Givethegroupmembersachancetoanswer,buttellthemtofeelfreetopassif theywish.With the rest of the study, it’s generally not a good idea to haveeveryone answer every question—a free-flowing discussion ismore desirable.But with the opening icebreaker questions, you can go around the circle.Encourageshypeopletoshare,butdon’tforcethem.

Afterthe“CheckingIn”time,yourgroupwillengageinasimpleBiblestudydrawn from the content of the video, called “Hearing theWord.” You do notneedtobeabiblicalscholartoleadthiseffectively.Yourroleisonlytoopenupconversationbyusing the instructionsprovidedand inviting thegroup into thetext. Following this, the groupwill watch Bob on the video and then answersomesmall-groupdiscussionquestions.

Encourageeveryoneinthegrouptoanswerthequestionsinthe“Discussingthe Teaching” section, butmake sure that if someone does not want to share(especially as the questions becomemore personal), he or she knows it is notrequired.Asthediscussionprogresses,followupwithcommentssuchas,“Tellmemore about that,” or, “Why did you answer the way you did?” This willallowparticipantstodeepentheirreflectionsandinvitemeaningfulsharinginanonthreateningway.

Notethatyouhavebeengivenmultiplequestionstouseineachsession.Youdonothavetousethemallorfollowtheminorder.Feelfreetopickandchoosequestions based on either the needs of your group or how the conversation is

flowing.Also,don’tbeafraidofsilence.Offeringaquestionandallowinguptothirtysecondsofsilenceisokay.Itallowspeoplespacetothinkabouthowtheywanttorespondandalsogivesthemtimetodoso.

As group leader you are the boundary keeper for your group. Do not letanyone(yourselfincluded)dominatethegrouptime.Keepaneyeoutforgroupmemberswhomightbetemptedto“attack”folkstheydisagreewithortryand“fix” those having struggles. These kind of behaviors can derail a group’smomentum so they need to be shut down. Model “active listening” andencourageeveryone inyourgroup todo the same.Thiswillmakeyourgrouptimea“safespace”andfosterthekindofcommunitythatGodcanusetochangepeople.

The “Doing the Word” time that concludes the session will be the mostdynamic part of this study.During this section, participants are invited to putwhattheyhavelearnedintopracticalaction.However,forthistobesuccessful,it will require some preparation on your part. Take time to read over eachsession’s“DoingtheWord”activity,asseveralofthemrequirespecialmaterials.Reading ahead will allow you to ask groupmembers to bring any items youmightneedbutdon’thaveandwillgiveyouasenseofhowtoleadyourgroupthrough these experiences. Use the supply list below to make sure you haveeverythingyouneed.

SupplyList

Session1:LovePeopleWhereYouAre•Copyofthe“YOU”gridforeveryparticipant•Pensorpencils

Session2:CatchPeopleontheBounce•One2”×4”slipofpaper(foreveryonetowritehisorhernameon)•Additionalnotebookortypingpaperforeachparticipant•Pensorpencils•Basketorbowl(forcollectingnames)•Tape

Session3:Don’tPlayItSafe

•Indexcards(enoughforeveryoneinthegrouptohaveonecard)•Pensorpencils

Session4:LookatWhat’sinYourBucket•Fivetosixsmallslipsofpaper(nothingbiggerthan1”×6”)foreachparticipant•StyrofoamcoffeecuporDixiecup(youwillneedoneforeachparticipant)•Pensorpencils

Session5:LoveEventheDifficultPeople•Onesheetofpaperforeachparticipant•Pensorpencils

Finally,eventhoughthereareinstructionsforhowtoconcludeeachsession,please feel free to strike out on your own. Just make sure you do somethingintentional tomark theendof themeeting. Itmayalsobehelpful to take timebefore or after the closing prayer to go over that week’s between-sessionpersonal study options and ask peoplewhat theywould like to try. Thisway,everyonecandepartinconfidence.

GROUPDYNAMICS

LeadingagroupthroughEverybody,Alwayswillprove tobehighlyrewardingbothtoyouandyourgroupmembers.However,thisdoesn’tmeanyouwillnotencounter any challenges along theway!Discussions canget off track.Groupmembers may not be sensitive to the needs and ideas of others. Somemightworrytheywillbeexpectedtotalkaboutmattersthatmakethemfeelawkward.Others may express comments that result in disagreements. To help ease thisstrainonyouandthegroup,considerthefollowinggroundrules:

•Whensomeoneraisesaquestionorcommentthatisoffthemaintopic,suggestyoudealwithitanothertime,or,ifyoufeelledtogointhatdirection,letthegroupknowyouwillbespendingsometimediscussingit.

•Ifsomeoneasksaquestionyoudon’tknowhowtoanswer,admititandmoveon.Atyourdiscretion,feelfreetoinvitegroupmemberstocommentonquestionsthatcallforpersonalexperience.

•Ifyoufindoneortwopeoplearedominatingthediscussiontime,directafewquestionstoothersinthegroup.Outsidethemaingrouptime,askthemoredominatingmemberstohelpyoudrawoutthequieterones.Worktomakethemapartofthesolutioninsteadoftheproblem.

•Whenadisagreementoccurs,encouragethegroupmemberstoprocessthematterinlove.Encouragethoseonoppositesidestorestatewhattheyheardtheothersidesayaboutthematter,andtheninviteeachsidetoevaluateifthatperceptionisaccurate.LeadthegroupinexaminingotherScripturesrelatedtothetopicandlookforcommonground.

When any of these issues arise, encourage your groupmembers to followthesewordsfromtheBible:“Loveoneanother”(John13:34),“Ifitispossible,asfaras itdependsonyou, liveatpeacewitheveryone”(Romans12:18),and“Bequicktolisten,slowtospeakandslowtobecomeangry”(James1:19).Thiswill make your group time more rewarding and beneficial for everyone who

attends.Thankyouagainforyourwillingnesstoleadyourgroup.MayGodreward

youreffortsanddedicationandmakeyour timetogether inEverybody,Alwaysfruitfulforhim.

Documents

Everybody always : becoming love in a world full of setbacks and difficult people : study guide