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Exploring the Impact of Children’s Exposure to Batterers
Prepared by:Darlene Thomas, M.S.S.W.Executive DirectorGreenHouse17
Factors
•Naming the Problem• Newest language is “exposure”, “living with”
“experiencing” and “affected by” because it does not make assumptions about the specific nature of the children’s experiences.• The research is increasingly clear that
children are not passive onlookers. They actively seek to make meaning of their experiences and navigate the situations which confront them. (Laing, 2000)
•Prevalence of exposure • Prevalence estimates vary widely, however,
commonly cited figures suggest that 3.3 million children and 10 million teenagers are exposed to batterers behaviors each year.• 20 to 40% of adults reported being exposed to
domestic violence as a child.• 40 to 60% of mothers of abused children were
abused by their partner compared to 13% of mothers of unabused children. (Davis and Briggs, 2000)
Children’s Experiences Exposure to Physical Violence• Violence during pregnancy
• Injury from intervening attempting to protect Non-offending parent.• Injury because non-offending parent was
attempting to protect. • Hearing acts of violence• Seeing injuries to non-offending parent• Belief that they are responsible for the
violence.• Fear of leaving, fear of staying.• Moves from periphery to the center of conflict
if parents stay separated.
Non-Violent Exposures
• Isolation/Family Secrecy (staying and leaving)• Emotional Abuse• Verbal Abuse• Economic Deprivation• Intervention effects (police involvement,
rushed upheavals, disruption in schooling, new living environments, and loss of friends, pets, toys, etc.)
Impact
• Difficult to study, research has been limited until recently to shelter residents. • Other limitations include adult victim reporting of
effects and research tools that address behavior of children but not in terms of exposure to domestic violence. • Experts agree that there is an impact, but do not agree
to what degree.• Overall, studies do agree that children exposed to
batterers exhibit a host of behavioral and emotional problems when compared to other children.• Less consensus is found regarding cognitive and social
impairments and long term effects. (Laing 2000)
• The literature agrees that we must keep in mind that the majority of children exposed to domestic violence do not become either perpetrators or victims of domestic violence in their adult lives.• Methodological difficulties exist especially
when exploring the impact on children and the co-occurrence of child sexual abuse, physical abuse, poverty, and substance abuse.• Until recently, research focused on the stress
of the non-offending parent, the contribution of the perpetrator was largely ignored.
Mediating factors
• Co-occurrence of exposure to domestic violence and being a victim of child abuse is associated with more severe impact. (Co-existence is estimated between 30 to 60%) Growing evidence suggests that co-occurrence represent the greatest risk to children’s safety.• Family Relationships
Disputes assumptions that being victimized has a significant and detrimental effects on victim’s parenting capacity.
Children report that they do not see their non-offending parent limited in their capacity and identify that parent as a source of support.
Victims are aware of effects on their children and their parenting and attempt to address and/or compensate for any negative effects. (Laing, 2000)
• Gender, Ethnicity, Nature and Extent of Violence, and Dating Violence continues to have limited comprehensive research.• Resilience
Despite the association between exposure and diagnosable problems, it is consistently found that the majority of children do not exhibit negative effects. Many children exhibit average social competence and adjustment.
Protective Factors such as attributes of the child, support of family members, good relationship with one parent, and outside support figures.
Little is known why some children are intensely affected by exposure and others showed little negative impact.
Children Coping with Violence•Report hiding, trying to intervene, trying to
sleep, caring for younger siblings.•They report fear, helplessness, despair, self-
blame and depression.•They report the non-offending parent were
able to assist and support them.•They seek help from neighbors, trusted
adults.•Younger children understand situations
surrounding the violence while older children demonstrate the context of intentionality, entitlement and control.
• Children are not passive victims, children of all ages were active in their response to and how they coped with the exposure to violence.• Very few children accept the duality of their
abusive parents behavior. Rather they viewed the parent as either “bad” or found ways to contain, excuse and reframe the parents abusive behaviors.• Children’s view of the world, the meaning or
purpose of life, expectations of happiness, and moral development may disrupt the progression through age-appropriate developmental tasks.
Understanding “Batterer as the Parent” in Custody and Visitation Disputes• Understanding the mindset of a batterer,
parenting style and tactics used in divorce or custody cases is imperative to protecting children and the non-offending parent.• Contrary to popular belief, children can be
just as much as risk after separation as during the relationship. • Batterers as parents have a negative impact
on children by being a role model that perpetuates violence, undermining the victim’s authority, retaliating against the victim for efforts to protect the children and themselves, and creating divisions in the family/siblings.
Profile of Batterer
•They have a full range of personality types•They are difficult to profile•They often test well psychologically,
frequently better than victims do.•Outside acquaintances do not perceive the
abuser as abusive and often defend or deny behaviors even when presented with facts.
•Children and non-offending partner are exposed to behaviors that he hides from others; controlling and manipulative behavior such as not twisting arguments and incidents of abuse, blames others, and the public vs. private image.
Batterer Perception of Self
•Believes they are the victim•View resistance by victim or the children
as an act of aggression, being wronged that they must make right.
•Skilled at convincing others they are the victim.
•Manipulates “incidences” or “grievances” that may lead professionals to conclude that they are the victim or that the relationship is mutually abusive.
•Most have no psychological problems.•Battering is primarily driven by culture
rather than individual psychology.
Greatest predictors are…
1.Belief that battering is justified.2.Presence of peers who support abusiveness.These are more important than being exposed to battering as a child. It is a learned behavior linked to how the abuser formulates the concepts of relationship and family. (Lundy Bancroft, 1998)
Batterers behaviors in and out of the Courtroom during Separation/Divorce
•Need to control becomes greater•Focus’s on the betrayal and the perceived debt
owed to them by the victim.•Threats to harm, on-going intimidation,
manipulation of victim and the children.•File for sole custody to punish victim even
though often has had little involvement in the parenting of children. Especially if victim begins a new relationship.
•Finds a new partner quickly, treats them well and has them be a character witness, convinces new partner that the “ex” is the problem
•Often the batterer has more money, takes advantage of gender bias/victim blaming of systems, manipulates the children to be loyal to them, and manipulates systems to view them as the victim within custody disputes.
•Creates a great public image with systemic professionals. Verbalizes concern and care for children, acknowledges some mistakes but insists victim is exaggerating and vindictive.
•Often the batterers continue to harass and intimidate victims when they can’t be caught or held accountable. Stalking, child visitations, repeated taking case back to court, paying only enough child support to make it look like a hardship to the court but that they are sincerely trying.
Manipulation of Custody Evaluations/Mediation•Attempts to convince evaluators that the
only want what is best for children.•Batterers language will reflect empathy for
children, understanding that the relationship has ended, and insight into their feelings.
•Will blame others (family, friends, system) for turning the victim against them.
•Insists that the victim is only “keeping children from visiting” out of revenge.
•Often brings up victim’s HX of mental health, insisting victim is crazy.
•Describes victim as being hysterical, often insists that victim is promiscuous, left for another person.
•Batterer presents as the charming, betrayed, humbled, defeated victim.
•Strikes pre-emptively accusing victim of doing all the things they have done. Bancroft notes that in the cross-fire batterers gain power because judges and mediators throw up there hands and conclude both parents are at fault.
•Trauma effects often make the victim appear confused, hostile, disjointed and agitated while the abuser appears calm and friendly.
Joint Custody?????
•In cases where domestic violence has been determined joint custody principles provide batterers continued opportunity to manipulate, intimidate, harass and put victims in perpetual, potential danger.
•When victims don’t want contact with the abuser it is often viewed as obstructing the parent/child relationship.
“There is a wide consensus that children's recovery from exposer to batterers depends largely on the quality of their relationship with non battering parent and with their siblings. Courts should consider whether the batterer is likely to continue to undermine the mother’s authority, interfere with mother-child relationships or cause tension between siblings. Courts may not want to leave children in the unsupervised care of a man whose violent tendencies they have witnessed, even if they have a strong bond of affection for him” (Lundy Bancroft, 2002)
Best Practices• Protecting children while empowering victims by avoiding the creation of a dichotomy between the needs of women and children.
Community Education and Professional Training.Create new leverages for CPS other than “removal of children”
Specialized teams CPS/DV by integrating domestic violence and child abuse practice.
Add Probation and parole conditions as part of case plans.Protective Order power to hold batterer accountable.
• Understanding that victims safety and children’s safety are closely linked.
Active collaboration between Domestic Violence Programs and Child Protection Services to combine knowledge and expertise. (Voluntary vs. involuntary)
Best Practices• Systems to collaborate as a means to provide a continuum of care, with responses tailored to each child’s resilience and degree of impairment.• Monitoring implementation and practice of
collaboratives.• Adopting and implementing guidelines of “The
Greenbook” initiative.• Avoid stigmatizing children who have been
exposed. As we create awareness and more comprehensive services we can inadvertently create a socially deviant identity for children exposed. (Peled and Davis, 1995)
Best Practices• Family Law recognizesFollowing separation poses greatest risk for victims and children, yet at this time of heightened danger, the victim is expected to negotiate arrangements of contact.
Offending parents use of visitation and contact with the children as a route to further abuse victim or harming the children directly or indirectly by a proliferation of court cases.
Reconsideration of Joint Custody when domestic violence is present as opposed to low conflict couples. (Saunders, 1998)
• Expansion and Utilization of Visitation Centers
Best Practices• Maintaining a focus on the responsibility of the
perpetrator of violence. Interventions must be developed in a framework in which the responsibility of the perpetrator of violence is central and visible.
Understanding the risks to children from contact with perpetratorsContinued undermining of the NOP parenting and parent child relationshipContinued exposure to authoritarian or neglectful parentingRisk of exposure to new threats or violenceRisk of learning violence-supportive beliefs and attitudes.Risk of being abducted or used as a tool of the perpetratorRisk of further exposure through perpetrators future relationships. (Bancroft and Silverman, 2002)
Best Practices• Creating and maintaining a balance between
recognizing the impact and trauma experienced by children while not stigmatizing or pathologizing.• Not labeling victims as pathological, co-participants in
the violence and un-protective.• Not equating DVO’s or leaving the abuser with being
safe.• Focus on the strengths of the families, child/non-
offending parent relationship.• Comprehensive assessments, appropriate and available
counseling interventions.• Parenting classes for batterers.• Ongoing research that addresses the current gaps in
knowledge regarding impact on children exposed to batterers.
References
•Daniel G. Saunders. 1998, “Child Custody and Visitation Decisions in Domestic Violence Cases: Legal Trends, Research Findings, and Recommendations.”
•Washington State Criminal Justice Training Commission, Burien, WA., 2004. “Helping Children Affected by Domestic Violence.”
•Bancroft and Silverman. 2002, “The Batterer as Parent”
•Dr. Laing, Leslie. 2000, “Children, young people and domestic violence” Australian Domestic and Family Violence Clearinghouse.
Contact InformationDarlene Thomas, M.S.S.W
Executive DirectorBluegrass Domestic Violence Program
Beyondtheviolence.org
