March - April 2013Families Dorset www.familiesdorset.co.uk1

Issue 4: March/April 2013

Dorset

The really useful magazine for parents with children 0 to 12 years in Dorset

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ChildcareEaster ActivitiesHealthWhat’s On Guide

March - April 2013Families Dorset www.familiesdorset.co.uk2

Families Dorset is distributed to over 12,000 families in Christchurch, Bournemouth & PooleTo advertise YOUR BUSINESS with us call 07876 761623 or email editor@familiesdorset.co.uk

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Contents

Front cover image - M & CoFamilies Dorset Editor: Sarah CarrTel : 07876 761 623Email: editor@familiesdorset.co.ukwww.familiesdorset.co.uk

Next issue: May/ June 2013Booking deadline: 1 April 2013Copy deadline: 5 April 201324,000 readers per issuePrinted by Bishops

How Childcare Is Changing

The Ultimate Me-Time

Hypno-Birthing

How To Improve Reading Comprehension

Copyright: Families Dorset, March/April 2013

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News & Information

Easter Activities

What’s On Guide• Days Out• Diary Dates• Nearly New Sales

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March - April 2013Families Dorset www.familiesdorset.co.uk4

News The Good Play Cafe opens its ‘Underwater Garden’

The Good Play Cafe in Southbourne is a great place for children to spend time having fun, whilst parent’s can chat and relax within comfortable reach. We cater for the under 5’s throughout the day and admit under 8’s after 3pm. The soft play café has a state-of-the art four meter play frame and there is also a separate play area for the under 2’s. Parents and children are well catered for, with a superb range of coffees and healthy snacks, milkshakes, homemade cakes and a changing Café menu. The Good Play Cafe has recently opened its ‘Underwater Garden’, the ideal party venue, equipped with full length mirrors, fish tank, sofa, beautiful lighting and sound system. Music, drama, art, yoga, baby massage, and baby ballet classes take place on a weekly basis - all of which offer ‘Stay and Play for £1’ afterwards.Visit: www.thegoodplaycafe.co.uk for more information and opening times.

Real Nappies…Real Change This year’s Real Nappy Week takes place 15 to 21 April, with the theme of 'Real Nappies...Real Change!' to inspire a new generation of parents to make the change. The week is shaping up to be very exciting, with each day allocated a theme such as Real Choice, Real Easy and Real £change looking at the benefits of Real Nappies. This year you can get stuck in by taking part in The Great Cloth Diaper Change on 20 April at 11am local time, and be

part of a world record breaking attempt for the most Real Nappies changed simultaneously. On 21 April join in Real Clean and hang a chain of washing up in your garden, as others will do up and down the land. There are loads of events taking place across the country during Real Nappy Week, where you can meet people who use Real Nappies, get great advice as well as get your hands on nappies to see how they work. Find out about the latest events in your area at www.goreal.org.uk/real-nappy-week. Or you can hold your own event - it can be as simple as inviting friends around for a quick demo, or organising a fashion show to show off the latest Real Nappy trends. Email info@goreal.org.uk for support packs and advice. Don’t forget to check out the website for details of the new Chooser Tool to help you choose which nappy is right for you, plus you can watch online fashion shows where you can see a range of show-stopping nappies! You can also apply for trial kits online, speak to advisors and take advantage of the special offers and prizes during Real Nappy Week. And don’t miss the online webinars for demonstrations of how to use Real Nappies. Plus, if you have never used them before don’t miss The Great Real Nappy Giveaway. Check www.goreal.org.uk/real-nappy-week for details of how to enter.

Great South West WalkPutting 40 years of love into the South West Coast Path!An event to celebrate the South West Coast Path Association’s 40th Anniversary with a walk of the entire South West Coast Path. Broken down into a relay of 56 legs, people can take part in individual days (or half days) through to making a walking holiday of it. Each leg will be guided by local experts, rangers

and path wardens, who will share their knowledge about the area and highlight points of interest. 3rd April – South Coast starts in Poole16th April – North Coast starts in MineheadCulminating with a birthday party at Land’s End as the last two legs of the walk come together on the 7th May.You cannot just turn up on the day, you must register to take part in advance as there are various logistics to be organised for each walker (e.g. transport). Please contact the South West Coast Path Association to book your place on 01752 896237. Full information, including legs and dates of the walk, visit www.southwestcoastpath.org.uk

It’s true – phonics works! English schools climb the international league table in reading thanks to phonics. PIRLS, the international comparison of reading teaching achievement, has published results which show that figures for reading in England have improved significantly, with the country moving up 8 places to number 11th. “It’s incredibly good news to see England rising up the table,” said Chris Jolly, Publisher of Jolly Learning, the synthetic phonics programme of choice for many primary schools. “There is still work to be done though; we need to work harder in reducing the widespread range of achievement in England, and the huge difference between girls and boys which is unreasonably high. Synthetic phonics has shown over the years what a fantastic difference it makes for helping children to learn to read and write. I see no reason why we shouldn’t be challenging for the number 1 position currently held by Hong Kong and Russia.”

The National Trust's Kingston Lacy Running Festival - 9th June 2013A new year has never been a better time for goal setting and, following inspirational British sporting triumphs in 2012, there has never been a more motivating backdrop to set the scene for 2013 and a year of sporting participation. Votwo Events & Adventure has announced a new event for Dorset this summer. The Dorset-based events organiser has partnered with Kingston Lacy to host a brand new running festival in the spectacular National Trust grounds near Wimborne, Dorset on Sunday 9th June 2013. The first Kingston Lacy Running Festival, sponsored by Scott Sports, offers something for runners of all levels including a 5k and a 10k run, a half marathon, and a family fun run with medals awarded to each finisher as well as prizes from the Scott Sports running range The event features free entry into the Kingston Lacy grounds for participants and spectators, free car parking, medics on site, chip timing with finishing times displayed on a large screen, a large under cover area for spectators in case of rain and toilets at the start / finish area. To register for the event or to find out further information on the Kingston Lacy Running Festival or any other Votwo event visit www.votwoevents.co.uk.

March - April 2013Families Dorset www.familiesdorset.co.uk5

News Send your news to editor@familiesdorset.co.uk

Labels4Kids launches their new website

Leading UK based international kids’ labelling specialist Labels4Kids is launching their new look website for March 2013. Attention to detail is something Labels4Kids does well and to make high quality labelling easily available to help families save money on returning property to them is

something vital more so than ever before with the cost of new clothing, shoes and other belongings increasing all the time. The new Labels4Kids website makes ordering so much easier and you can even try designing your labels on the site prior to ordering. See the full range by ordering at www.labels4kids.com/fam today.

New vintage collection available at Emily and Evelyn

The new range of beautiful hand-knitted clothing and hats is now available at Emily and Evelyn. Our retro and vintage designs are made using top quality yarns including Italian Merino and cashmere and are perfect for a newborn photo shoot or to give as a gift. Our full range can be bought via the website and Families readers can get a special 15% discount. Quote ‘Families’ at the checkout. www.etsy.com/shop/emilyandevelyn

“Nickelodeon’s Dora The Explorer LIVE! Search for the City of Lost Toys heads to the Bournemouth Pavilion Theatre on 27th April – 29th April. To book tickets visit nickjr.co.uk/doralive”

Everyone’s favourite explorer is embarking on a LIVE musical adventure across the UK! In Nickelodeon’s Dora the Explorer LIVE! Search for the City of Lost Toys, Dora has lost her teddy bear Osito, and the search is on to retrieve him! With the help of the audience, Map, Backpack, Boots, Diego and their courageous friends, Dora uses her map-reading, counting, musical and language skills to successfully pass through the number pyramid and the mixed-up jungle to reach the City of Lost Toys. But watch out - you never know what that sneaky fox Swiper might be up to along the way! Dora the Explorer fans will delight in this two act, song and dance spectacular that invites them to think, sing and play along.

Dance, dance, dance

A pioneering new national dance partnership is set to ignite a passion for dance in young audiences. Launching this March, MOKO Dance is dedicated to opening the eyes of children and their families to the power of dance and unites DanceEast in Ipswich, Dance City in Newcastle, Lakeside Arts Centre in Nottingham, Pavilion Dance South West in Bournemouth, Sadler’s Wells in London, South East Dance in Brighton and Hextable and Theatre Bristol in a shared vision of bringing bold and innovative dance to young audiences across the UK. MOKO Dance offers a complete dance experience for young people and their families and will tour nationwide in spring and autumn 2013 with interactive front of house activities, dance workshops, digital games and a young ambassador critic scheme. Education workshops and downloadable resource packs will also be available to schools. “I strongly believe that the more we can work together to nurture, commission, create and programme powerful work for young audiences the better,” said Emma Gladstone of Sadler’s Wells. “As a result we are delighted to be part of this national MOKO Dance partnership, and look forward to working with both artists and colleagues next year and beyond.”

WIN! A wild family day out to Marwell Zoo

A visit to Marwell Wildlife is a chance to get up close to the wonders of the natural world – and help save them. We have 3 sets of family tickets (2 adults and 2 children) for you to win. This Easter you can take part in their Wild egg hunt and visit the Easter Bunny to collect your very own chocolate egg (Bank Holiday weekend only).

Also from 29th Mar-14th April enjoy all things feathery! Visit the new walkthrough bird aviary, get creative with free feathery crafts and listen to fascinating talks. To enter the competition simply go to our website: www.familiesdorset/competitions . Closing date - 31st March 2013. Full terms and conditions are on our website.

Do you have news to tell our readers? We would love to hear from you. Inclusion in these pages is FREE! Email editor@familiesdorset.co.uk or call 07876 761623

WIN! The potty training breakthrough that’s winning awards!Dry Like Me potty training pads are a real break-through in the challenge to get children out of nappies and into their own pants. The handy little potty training pads turn all pants into potty training pants by adding an absorbent layer. They give your little one extra confidence and ease the pressures on you. Dry Like Me pads help your child to recognise their body’s cues for the loo, a key part of potty training. They are soft, comfortable and suitable for children of all ages with one size fitting all. Dry Like Me are giving away five ‘Smarter Way to Potty Train Packs’ worth £15. Each pack contains four boxes of Dry Like Me pads and a lovely reward chart and stickers – all the tools you need to help your little one achieve potty training success! For more information, practical advice and special offers go to www.drylikeme.com.

March - April 2013Families Dorset www.familiesdorset.co.uk6

How Childcare Is ChangingBy Joanna Moorhead

By Joanna Moorhead

Childcare in Britain costs more than childcare almost anywhere else in the world – according to recent figures, 27% of the income of families with young children is spent on the costs of a nanny, a childminder or a nursery.  Everyone agrees it would be better if childcare was more affordable – especially for parents with two or more children, many of whom say it doesn’t make financial sense for them both to be at work. 

But how can childcare be made cheaper without compromising on quality?  That’s the question everyone, from government ministers to childcare providers, is grappling with at the moment.

What the government is saying

In late January the government announced a new plan to change child:staff ratios for childminders and nurseries, in a move it says will cut costs for parents and raise pre-school standards.

Early years minister Elizabeth Truss is proposing that:

*Childminders, who are currently restricted to looking after three children aged one to five, should in future be able to look after four

*They would also be allowed to look after two children aged under one, instead of being restricted to one child under one

*Nurseries will be allowed to increase their staff-to-child ratio from the current 1:4 to 1:6

*For under-ones, the ratio will rise from 1:3 to 1:4

*Qualifications would be raised for new nursery staff – they’ll be required to have a GCSE grade C or above in English and Maths

Other changes include the introduction of a new graduate-level early years teaching qualification.

Truss says the proposals won’t lead

to children being neglected: she points out that the changes she is suggesting will still leave England with higher staff:child ratios than those for childcarers in France, Denmark and Germany, three countries that are often cited as providing high-quality care for pre-school children. 

Her basic argument is that the current relatively tight ratios have two main effects: they mean higher costs for parents, and lower pay for staff.  The changes she’d like to see would, she believes, lead to lower fees for parents and higher pay for staff, and this in turn would improve the quality of childcare workers over time.

But Labour’s shadow education secretary Stephen Twigg says he believes the plans would undermine the quality of the UK’s childcare.  “I think this is one area where we’ve got something to teach other countries,” he says.  “If you look at France, there’s quite a big public debate about whether they’ve got this right.”

Marg Randles, managing director of Busy Bees, the UK’s largest childcare provider with 213 nurseries across the country, says the suggestion of changed ratios for three to four year olds would put her nurseries on the same ratio levels as school settings. 

But the important issue for Busy Bees is childcare vouchers: currently, employers are allowed to give employees up to £55 a week in tax-free vouchers to pay for childcare; raising this to £75 a week would make a real difference to parents, the chain argues.  In comparison, the saving to families if the Truss proposals go through would amount, says Busy Bees, to around £3.50 per week.

What about tax breaks?

Childcare vouchers are one form of tax breaks for parents paying for childcare.  However, before the recent Truss announcement it had been hoped that the scheme would be reformed and extended, allowing more parents to benefit from the scheme, and those already using it to save more.

Childcare Feature

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Childcare Feature

Unfortunately these hopes haven’t come to fruition: Ms Truss has said changes are in the pipeline, but that they’re “going to be slightly longer in the gestation than would be ideal”.

So the details of the scheme are still being worked out, and it’s been widely reported in the press that there are ideological differences within the Coalition.  Nick Clegg, the Liberal Democrat deputy prime minister, has suggested that changes should be for those on lower incomes, while the Conservatives are believed to want the breaks to be universal.

While we wait for another announcement, it’s being reported that the scheme under consideration could be worth thousands of pounds – sources close to the government have said working women with children aged under five could become entitled to claim a flat rate tax allowance of £2,000 a year to pay someone to look after their children. 

But if that’s the good news, the bad news – sadly – is that with all the political wrangling going on behind the scenes, the plan could take some time...though some experts still believe it could be introduced before

the next General Election.

How to cut your childcare costs in the short term

So the bottom line is that there’s not a huge amount happening at government level to cut your childcare costs right now – so if you need to get them down, it’s up to you to find a way.  Here are a few ideas we’ve come up with at Families:

*Change your working hours: as a parent with a child under 16, you’re entitled to request flexible working hours from your employer, provided you’ve worked there for more than six months.  You could ask to fit your work into fewer days that are longer – then your partner could collect your child or children from your carer on the days you’re working, and you can cut childcare bills. 

*If you work part-time and use a nursery, check out whether the fees are lower on certain days of the week (they sometimes are) and see if you can switch the days you work.

*Team up with a friend who’s also working part-time and has a child

of a similar age.  So you look after her child with yours while she’s working, and vice versa.

*When you’re choosing a childminder, check whether she can access the free 15 hours’ childcare a week that all three and four-year-olds are entitled to – not all childminders can do this, and it can be worth up to £180 for 38 weeks of the year.

For more information on childcare go to www.familiesonline.co.uk

 

 

 

 

March - April 2013Families Dorset www.familiesdorset.co.uk8

Pregnancy can be a pretty up and down experience for women and their partners. With all sorts of unexpected changes occurring and the anticipation of labour and birth, fear and anxiety is often evoked. Ideally women would be able to approach their labour and birth with excitement and optimism and the experience would not include the discomfort and pain that some experience, however this is often not quite the case.

Hypno Birthing by Ashley Parker

Baby & Pregnancy

Images of women laying on their backs with feet in stirrups, screaming and panting and pushing until they have nothing left to give, is often what is portrayed through media and even through stories from family and friends. With increasing choices for where and how a woman chooses to give birth, this doesn’t have to be everyone’s experience. HypnoBirthing is an approach to antenatal education, based on logic which aims to give couples all of the information and tools to approach the birth of their baby with confidence and empowerment and the ability to achieve a calm, natural and comfortable birth experience.

HypnoBirthing isn’t just for first time Mums, it works for women who have varying experiences in the past, such as trauma or simply wanting to be more in control of their experience. There is occasional scepticism and worries about what hypnosis is and the simple answer is it is simply a way of releasing some of the un-helpful and debilitating beliefs and assumptions that we acquire on our journey through life. It can actually control pain and there is no magic to achieving success with self-hypnosis; almost anyone who chooses to, can reach deep relaxation and redirected focus. Hypnotherapy is simply words, used in a positive and focused way, to help release worries and concerns about giving birth which is useful for first time Mums and those who have maybe not enjoyed the experience in the past.

Women’s bodies are designed to birth their babies naturally and statistics support this, as the majority of women

can and do. In HypnoBirthing we talk about how the uterine muscles work and why when relaxed and free of tension, the birthing muscles work efficiently and in harmony. Dr Dick-Read, the author of Childbirth without Fear postulated that the fear experienced by women in childbirth caused the blood to be diverted away from her uterus, in order to be used by other muscles to enable her to escape from danger. The result of this was to starve the uterus of oxygen, therefore preventing it from carrying out its intended function without pain.  This phenomenon he called “the fear-tension-pain syndrome of childbirth”. Dr Dick-Read believed that if a woman was able to eliminate the fear, her uterus would return to its normal function, thus eliminating the pain. He concluded that fear and tension was responsible for 95 percent of labour pain, which could be eliminated through relaxation techniques. By learning specific breathing techniques, visualisation and self hypnosis, it is possible to reach a deep state of relaxation, giving the body the best chance to do as nature intended.

The NHS is currently running a trial about hypnobirthing (the SHIP trial), with the aim of demonstrating its effectiveness and how the unnecessary medicalisation of normal births can be avoided. HypnoBirthing is regularly being offered now within maternity units and hospitals across the UK. Hypnosis is recognised in the UK by the National Institute of Clinical Excellence (NICE) and has been approved by the British Medical Association (BMA) for over 40 years.

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Baby & Pregnancy

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HypnoBirthing classes can be held in small groups or privately within your own home. You will learn all about the physiological side of childbirth, relaxation techniques, including breathing techniques, visualisation, self hypnosis and light touch massage which is used by your partner to deepen your relaxation.

HypnoBirthing is not a magic solution, nor is it a guarantee for the ‘perfect birth’, but it is a collection of uncomplicated tools that with practice and dedication work and even when special medical circumstances may arise, hypnobirthing helps mothers feel more calm and in control over treatment options. Most importantly, if the birth is calm, gentle and drug free for you, it’s also calm, gentle and drug free for your baby, so this little person arrives in the world alert, and with a mother who is alert and ready to receive it lovingly and attentively. Hypnobabies are often described as calm and serene and adjust well to sleeping and eating patterns.

Further Information

For more information about Ashley Parker visit: www.miracleinthemakinghypnobirthingyork.co.uk

For general information visit: www.thehypnobirthingassociation.com

“I decided to take a hypnobirthing course because I like to be in control of what’s happening,” explains Hanora, “in as far as you can with something like the birth of a baby!”

“I’d not had a great deal of time to think about being pregnant,” says Hanora,”I was teaching at the time and undertaking some other professional training too so the decision to take the course was a way of giving me permission to focus on the baby.”

“The five week course began when I was around 27 weeks pregnant and both myself and my husband attended the 2 hour sessions. We were given proper explanations of the process of childbirth - understanding what’s happening takes away a lot of the fear about the process.

Another really important aspect of those first sessions was the way in which we talked about labour. Gone was the language of ‘pain relief ’, ‘drugs’ and ‘pain management’ and we began using much more positive language and terminology. There was lots of positive affirmation, relaxation and visualisation and I was trained to breathe properly. I was given a file, book and a cd so that I could practice at home and it felt good to be able to stop occasionally and focus just on myself and the baby amidst the day to day stresses of my working life.

“I remember working on distraction techniques and spending quite a lot of time learning about breastfeeding including the physiology of what happens. I’m sure one of the reasons I managed to breastfeed so successfully afterwards was because I understood what was actually happening during feeding.”

As is often the case though, things didn’t go according to plan for Hanora and her baby was 14 days overdue.

“I was induced,” she tells me,”and I really hadn’t wanted that at all. Medical intervention would mean I wouldn’t be in complete control of my body.  But all was not lost; this was where the hypnobirthing course really helped. I was able to use so many of the techniques I’d been taught to help me stay calm throughout the whole labour. I made good progression without pain relief because my breathing was so effective.”

But then came another setback, Hanora was placed on a monitor, her contractions slowed and ultimately she needed a Caesarean. Her baby hadn’t moved down as the cord had been around her neck. “I know that things didn’t go as I’d imagined they would but the training I had helped me approach each decision calmly.

I learned there are no prizes for a ‘perfect delivery’ and that birth is just the start of life with your baby. “Eleanor was an impressive 10lb 2oz which is why she was perhaps a bit tricky to deliver! Looking back I can say I honestly enjoyed my labour. Other women may read this and think it must have been a ‘nightmare’ but it’s all a matter of perspective - hypnobirthing taught me that. Many women have experiences just like mine but it can be made easier by learning the coping techniques of hypnobirthing. “Of course everything was fine in the end. Eleanor’s now four and a half, has a baby brother and has just started school. I keep on learning from her every day.”

Hypnobirthing - case studyChoosing hypnobirthing doesn’t mean your labour will go as you planned - far from it. No-one can know what’s going to happen, as Hanora Habberjam found out. The difference is how you deal with it.

March - April 2013Families Dorset www.familiesdorset.co.uk10

Mindfulness has become the buzzword in the world of health and well-being. Helena Foss explores what the fuss is about and how busy mums can fit it into their day.

Over at Bangor University, you can do a degree in it. It is at the cutting edge of psychotherapy. Study after study shows it reduces the stress hormone cortisol (linked to everything from heart disease to cancer), alleviates headaches and anxiety; boosts the immune system; improves mental health, creativity and problem solving. In fact, with regular practice of mindfulness it is perfectly possible to rewire the brain to a more peaceful disposition, a process known as neuroplasticity. Academics at Bangor describe mindfulness as: ‘paying attention on purpose moment to moment without judging.’ This quote comes from Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder of the stress reduction programme at the University of Massachusetts Medical Centre, where mindfulness has been taught and studied since the 1970s. Based on Eastern meditation techniques, the Centre’s mindfulness programmes have yielded consistently successful results in all kinds of settings: from prisons and deprived inner cities to the corporate world.

Yes, but where do I find the time?Back in May, Cross Country Rail (www.crosscountrytrains.co.uk) commissioned a poll of 1,000 parents, 62 per cent of whom described managing their home, parenting responsibilities and longer working hours as akin to ‘one big juggling act’. Three quarters of those polled said that lack of time to themselves causes arguments with their partners, whilst one in ten get only ten minutes to themselves each day. Cross Country Rail have responded by creating a time-saving Smartphone app for booking train tickets. But are super efficient gizmos really the answer to alleviating constant overwhelm?

Human doings or human beings?Yes, women have the vote and legalised equality. But while we’re busy proving our worth to the world at large and overturning patriarchy, we are slowly but surely burning out. ‘Having it all’ has really transpired into ‘doing it all’, which is why we all need to schedule in pure nothing time on a regular basis.

This might appear unproductive. But there is great value in stopping being a ‘human doing’ and practicing the forgotten art of simply being, if only for a few moments. Most of us, at some point in our lives, have had a standstill moment in time – maybe watching an awe-inspiring sunset, looking into your newborn’s eyes for the first time, or even hearing heartbreaking news that you know will change your life forever. In that instant, we are so immersed in the moment that time itself slows right down. Now, this is the point of mindfulness practice; to be so present that time actually stretches, a little like blue tac, opening up space in your mind. No smartphone app required. Cool, huh? (Did I mention this takes practice?)

Mindless chatterCognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), the NHS approved treatment of choice for depression, works to change the negative thought loops which trigger emotional distress. Indeed, most of us identify so closely with our minds that we believe the stream of mindless chatter that forms the running commentary to our lives, is who we actually are. But if you listen closely, you will notice that a lot of it is, well, a load of old nonsense: Judgements, opinions, shoulds, what ifs and if onlys. Endless self-criticism, worrying about the future, pining over the past, arguing with someone in your head, wondering

what the neighbours think of you in your most stressed out moments (come on, admit it, we all yell sometimes), picking over every last detail of that mortifying incident when your child projectile vomited all over that terribly nice shop assistant... Anything except relaxing into the moment that is happening right now and letting everything be exactly as it is.

Doing nothing changes everythingThe magic of mindfulness is that simply observing our thoughts without judgement (which really does take practice!) can, over time, actually change them – no effort required. Using will power to, for example, lose weight, rarely works, as any yoyo dieter will tell you. Rather than sergeant majoring yourself into a strict health regime (and beating yourself up when you give into temptation), in the long term it is more practical and effective to observe your behaviour and compassionately notice the deeper, subconscious thoughts and emotions driving the urge to overeat. The Buddhist psychotherapist Tara Brach, calls this approach ‘radical acceptance.’ Not necessarily easy, but it does work.

Just like learning to ride a bike, mastering the art of mindfulness takes practice. Once you have the knack, however, you will be able to call on it whenever you have a few spare minutes (on the bus, in a waiting room, while the baby is napping). Find a way that works for you:

Get the knackFind some quiet time and practice sitting with a straight back, feet on the floor (cross legged if you prefer) and notice your breathing, how the air feels as it touches the insides of your nostrils, your chest rising and falling. The idea is to witness thoughts that come and go without getting caught up in them. You could see them as clouds in the sky or a newsfeed along the bottom of your internal TV screen.

Random thoughts will distract you time and time again. This is normal. ‘What can I make for dinner? Oh, my nose is itchy. I’ll never get the hang of this.’ You know the kind of thing. Keep bringing

Mindfulness Menu

The Ultimate Me-Time

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Health & Well-Beingyour attention back to the breath. If emotions arise, give them space and just let them be.

Once you have the hang of it, you can make any and all mundane daily activities mindful: Whilst washing up become as present as you can to the sights, sounds and sensations of that moment. Feel how your feet touch the ground whilst walking. Just notice. Simply be.

If you have three minutes:According to Goldie Hawn’s book 10 Mindful Minutes, a recent American study found that just three minutes of mindful breathing three times per day is enough to strengthen the brain and effectively change stressful thought patterns. Again, the key is regular practice.

If you have twenty minutes:Transcendental Meditation is a popular technique that involves repeating a personalised mantra silently to yourself. To find teachers near you see: www.t-m.org.uk

If you have forty minutes:Sometimes we are so full of tense energy that it has to be released before our minds will calm down too. The trick is to find any physical activity that you enjoy (swimming, jogging, walking through nature, dancing around the living room) and let your body take over and find its natural rhythm. This will naturally clear your mind. Then sit for a few minutes afterwards and practice mindful breathing.

If you have an hour:Try an active meditation like Osho Kundalini Meditation, which involves four equal parts of shaking, dancing and stillness (all set to specially designed music) and a final fifteen minutes of silence. It is worth trying this in a group first (check www.oshoinuk.com/places-to-meditate for one near you) or purchase the CD or MP3 download, available on Amazon, to do at home. The first half an hour moves the body, releasing stress and pent up emotions, making it much easier to sink into stillness. You will emerge a different person!

Helena Foss is a hypnotherapist, mum and writer: www.helenafoss.co.uk

I decided to write this article to help other parents to access the services they may need right at the start of their SEN journey. Every child is different and will need their own, personal help, so one solution doesn’t fit all. But the SEN system can be a maze, and finding the right people and organisations to help you through it is all-important. I hope that if you’re struggling with the fact that your child seems different from his or her peers, you’ll find something on these pages that will help.

My top tips:

See your doctorYour first port of call is your GP. If you feel something is wrong, you don’t need to wait for the nursery or school to tell you (although they will, if they feel your child is struggling). Depending on your child’s symptoms, your GP can refer you to CAMHS (the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service –the county’s child psychologists), a Speech and Language therapist or a paediatrician. If you’re referred to CAMHS, ask as soon as possible about the length of the waiting list, as it can be very long (my son was waiting 16 months to be assessed).

Don’t be ashamedYour child’s disability is not your fault, you didn’t ask for it and beating yourself up about it won’t help anyone. It’s natural to feel sad that your high-flying dreams for your child might not now come true, but he/she is still your child and needs you. Think positive.

Keep talking to your child’s school/nurseryIf your child is at nursery or school, liaise with the nursery manager or head teacher about your child’s progress and behaviour, and keep them informed of any changes outside school/nursery. This can help to build up a full picture of the child’s environment, which might shed some light on the problem. Don’t get defensive – they will be trying to help you and your child, not judging you.

Get reading Once you have received a diagnosis – or even before – read up on the problem, or what you think it is. I have amassed quite a library on Attachment Disorder, Autism, Aspergers Syndrome, ADHD, inflexible children and special diets! Be aware, though, that it’s all too easy to misdiagnose your child from a book or the internet – many symptoms overlap different diagnoses, and some behavioural problems actually have their roots in physical or emotional difficulties. For instance, a child who is dyslexic might act badly through frustration, or a child with hearing problems might switch off in class because they can’t hear the teacher. It’s important to see the professionals to get a proper diagnosis.

Reach out and make connectionsJoin a support group, even before diagnosis. This might be controversial, but having a child with an SEN can be isolating, and meeting others in a similar situation – whatever their children’s difficulties – can help you feel less alone. It’s also true that there is help out there that can’t normally be accessed before diagnosis, and you can find out about it at these groups.

What To Do If Your Child Is “Different”

by Gabrielle Starkey

When I became pregnant, I felt like I’d stepped through the looking glass. I’d been focusing on my career and never paid too much attention to family life, but suddenly it was everywhere, and I’d unwittingly joined a new club. There were new rules, and I was playing catch-up, but I soon began to feel at home in this warm, welcoming world of bumps and babies. But when my child’s behaviour started to go off the rails, at just 18 months, it stretched the welcome of my new world to the limit. I was forced, eventually, to step through another looking glass – into the world of Special Educational Needs (SEN).

March - April 2013Families Dorset www.familiesdorset.co.uk12

Ed’s Reading Room is an exciting free online book and story club for primary children in homes and schools. Each month, recently published books are selected as Ed’s Books of the Month for Owlets (age 5-7) and Owls (over 7s). On the website, there are fun literacy activities to accompany each book, including wordsearches, quizzes, poetry and reviews, and there are new original stories in Edtime Stories. There are also lots of other fun online activities, complementary to the curriculum. For further information visit www.edontheweb.com.

FOR AGES 5-7 YEARS

Arthur and the Mystery of the Eggby Johanne Mercier (Phoenix Yard Books £4.99)

ED SAYS: ‘Arthur finds an egg in his

grandparents’ garden. It’s a fairly ordinary egg but when he takes it into the house the grown-ups make a huge fuss. It really is a puzzle where it came from as there are no chickens nearby – and they all try to solve that great mystery, which came first, the chicken or the egg? They are in for a big surprise when the egg cracks, leading Arthur to ask the grown-ups another tricky question!

‘This is a lovely story for young readers who are sure to see things from Arthur’s point of view. There are super illustrations throughout the book which is the first in a new series.’

ED SAYS: ‘Welcome to Crumbly-

under-Edge! Pippa Peppercorn hates the idea of going back to school after the holidays but it is not as bad as she thinks because there is an intriguing new girl at school called Tallulah with an equally intriguing dog, Smug. But when Pippa tells Dash the dachshund at Mrs Fudge’s salon Chop ‘n’ Chat how amazing her new friends are, he is less than impressed.

‘This is a laugh-out-loud story that is packed full of action and fun. The delightfully wacky characters will amuse boys and girls alike.’

The Smug Pug by Anna Wilson (Macmillan Chil-dren’s Books £5.99)

FOR AGES 7 YEARS PLUS

ED SAYS: ‘Billy Broccoli and his ghostly pal Hoover

Porterhouse III, also known as Hoove, are off on another adventure. Hoove is seriously lacking in responsibility so Billy makes it his business to help Hoove improve in this area and he decides a good way forward would be to find Hoove a pet to take care of. But Hoove is not really an animal type so will Billy succeed in helping Hoove mend his ways?

‘This is the latest story in this hilarious series. The adventure shared by these unlikely friends is very entertaining and is gripping from beginning to end.’

Ghost Buddy: How to Scare the Pants Off Your Petsby Henry Winkler & Lin Oliver (Scholastic £5.99)

Bone Quill by John & Carole E Barrowman (Buster Books £6.99)

ED SAYS: ‘Matt and Emily Calder are twins who possess extraordinary

powers including the ability to bring paintings to life. In this their second adventure they try to find their mother who has gone missing and they desperately search for the ancient and mysterious bone quill by travelling back in time. Will they be able to stop those who attempt to abuse its power?

‘This is a thrilling story with fantastic characters and settings. It includes references to real and imaginary paintings thereby encouraging an interest in art. It’s a real page-turner of a book.’

Book CornerBournemouth NumberWorks’nWords share their tips on how to improve reading comprehension

Here is a strategy that has good evidence of success in improving reading comprehension for children. It is based on work completed by Marjorie Siegel, a professor of education at Columbia University and has been researched by Trevor Cairney, among other educationalists and researchers.

We are highlighting this because we identified it as a need by a number of children who come to our tutoring centre. Interestingly, difficulty with reading comprehension is not limited to just those students who come to us for help with English. It is also a problem for students who find word problems in maths challenging.

“Sketch to Stretch” involves having students draw pictures while they read and after they read. It is intended to “stretch” students’ understanding of what they are reading and increase their comprehension of the material. It also gives children a non-word based method to affect their appreciation of what they are reading, fiction and non-fiction. This may help some children who are challenged by the written word.

Here are the steps we suggest you have your children try:

Draw a picture to show what happenedDraw a picture of the character Draw a picture to show what the character or person did, saw, heard, thoughtDraw a picture of what might happen next or about the conclusion

This strategy may very well improve your child’s comprehension over time and develop an appreciation of what she or he is reading.

For further information contact Edward at Bournemouth NumberWorks’nWords on 01202 433673

March - April 2013Families Dorset www.familiesdorset.co.uk13

How to learn the times tables

EASTER ACTIVITIESOut & About

ABBOTSBURY SUBTROPICAL GARDENSwww.abbotsbury-tourism.co.uk29 March – 1 AprilTHE GIANT EASTER EGG HUNT

ADVENTURE WONDERLANDwww.adventurewonderland.co.ukEASTER WEEKENDAdventure Wonderland, Dorset’s Number One family theme park is the place to be this Easter with even more fun than ever with free egg hunts in our giant hedge maze and our ever popular egg and spoon races. These will be taking place over the 4 day Easter weekend but there’s lots more to do throughout the whole holidays, with over 30 rides and attractions, both indoors and outdoors.

BEAULIEU www.beaulieu.co.uk 29 March – 14 AprilEASTER EGG-STRAVAGANZAThere’s a lot more for all the family at Beaulieu this Easter; take a ride on the high-level Monorail or see the sights from the replica open-topped London Bus. Budding drivers can get behind the wheel on the Mini Car Driving Circuit and younger visitors can get physical on Dipstick’s Mini Motor Play Trail with its Veteran Bus climbing frame, swings and Little Tykes ride- on-cars. There is also face painting and Victorian games outside on the lawn.

BROWNSEA ISLANDwww.nationaltrust.org.uk/brownsea-island29 March – 1 AprilEASTER FUN ON BROWNSEA ISLANDJoin in the Easter activities with face painting, games, arts, crafts and the special Easter trail with chocolatey prizes. Easter egg trail costs £2. On Easter Monday join in with the free National Trust egg and spoon race at 2pm on Church Field. Eggs will be provided but bring your own spoon.

CORFE CASTLEwww.corfe-castle.co.uk29 March – 1 AprilEASTER EGG TRAIL AT THE CASTLE

DURLSTON COUNTRY PARKwww.durlston.co.uk29 MarchEASTER EGG TRAILFollow the clues around the Park to discover Durlston’s wildlife and win a prize! £2 per treasure hunt. Everyday throughout the Easter holidays 10am – 4pm.

EXBURY GARDENS www.exbury.co.uk 29 March – 1 AprilEASTER AT EXBURYEaster is a wonderful time at Exbury, with stunning displays of camellias, primroses, azaleas and early rhododendrons, and a cloth of golden daffodils leading down to the Beaulieu River. Ride on the Exbury Steam Railway and look out for the Easter bunnies hiding in the woods! With a trail sheet and colouring for children, it’s fun for all the family! Standard Gardens Admission prices apply. Train rides are extra, £4.00 per person.

MARWELL ZOOwww.marwell.org.uk ALL THINGS FEATHERYVisit our new walkthrough bird aviary, get creative with our free feathery crafts, listen to our fascinating talks. Take part in our Wild egg hunt and visit the Easter Bunny to collect your very own chocolate egg (Bank Holiday weekend only).

MOORS VALLEY COUNTRY PARKwww.moors-valley.co.uk5 AprilMEET THE EASTER BUNNYJoin the Easter Bunny for a walk full of fun, games and prizes. Follow the Easter Quiz Trail in the company of the Easter Bunny who will provide some fun games and activities.

MODEL TOWN AT WIMBORNE MINSTERwww.wimborne-modeltown.com29 March – 13 AprilTHE EASTER BUNNY HUNTThis Easter, the Model Town are teaming up with local traders in West Street who will decorate their shops with humorous models of ‘Easter bunny’s up to mischief’ and who have stored the Easter eggs somewhere in the Model Town. During the event, children will be provided with a worksheet setting out a number of clues to find hidden eggs and will win a bag of chocolate mini-eggs. 10am - 5pm

THE PRIEST’S HOUSE MUSEUM & GARDENwww.priest-house.co.uk29 March – 18 AprilEASTER ACTIVITIESEaster craft activities for all the family. 10am – 4.30pm

THE TOY BARNwww.toy-barn.co.uk29 MarchMAD HATTER’S FANCY DRESS TEA PARTY & EASTER EGG HUNTA fun Easter egg hunt with a Mad Hatter’s Tea Party fancy dress theme! As well as the traditional quest for Easter eggs, your child can play on the climbing frames, swings, trampolines and wendy houses in the orchard display and play area. Children should come dressed as characters from Alice in Wonderland’s Mad Hatter’s tea party. There will be a prize for the best-dressed child. And there will be tea, coffee and cakes on sale for the mums and dads! There are egg hunts planned at 11am, 1pm and 3pm. Tickets are £3 per child when bought in advance. Tickets on the door will be £4 per child. Adult entry is free.

Luca & Maya Make Easter Eggs

Marwell Zoo

March - April 2013Families Dorset www.familiesdorset.co.uk14

We aim to be as accurate as possible but the listings are compiled several weeks beforehand and may be subject to change. Please contact venues in advance to check details and prices.

To include your events in our What’s On Guide email the

details to editor@familiesdorset.co.uk

Out & About

What’s On Durdle Door, Dorset

Image - Daryl BakerDAYS OUT

ADVENTURE WONDERLANDwww.adventurewonderland.co.uk6-7 AprilMEET THE MEERCATS!The return of last year’s incredibly popular Meet the Meerkats event, including the chance to handle a real live meerkat. There will be a group of meerkats and 2 meerkats in a separate pen which can be handled. Also you can handle snakes, spiders, scorpions, lizards and even hissing cockroaches if you dare! Plus a beautiful White Falcon with which you can have your photograph taken.  A truly fascinating and delightful experience to get close to all these unusual animals and learn more about their lives, thanks to Bryan Paterson’s Wildlife Displays.

DORSET HEAVY HORSE FARM PARKwww.dorset-heavy-horse-centre.co.ukFrom 27 March 10am – 5pmA great day out for all the family! (Straight from the horses mouth!) You will find something for everyone enjoy interesting tours, talks and displays, FREE Heavy Horse Wagon Rides, Tractor and Trailer rides and even the chance to Drive a real Farm tractor!! There’s a busy timetable of hands on interaction with the friendly farm animals including over 20 rescued heavy horses, donkeys, miniature ponies, kunie kunie pigs, goats, sheep, alpacas, rabbits, guinea pigs, chickens, ducks, snow dogs and many more!

FARMER PALMERSwww.farmerpalmers.co.uk10 MarchHALF PRICE ENTRY FOR MUMS!Farmer Palmer’s is an award winning, family run, attraction just outside Poole, Dorset. They offer free parking, easy access and a great value family day out. See website for further details.

KINGSTON MAURWARD GARDENS & ANIMAL PARKwww.kmc.ac.uk25 March – 5 April KEEPER FOR THE DAYThis very popular day gives 9−13 year olds the chance to work alongside the animal keepers at the Animal Park and Animal Care Centre. Experience looking after a range of animals, from farm animals and small mammals to reptiles and fish. For children aged 9 -13 years old and who have an interest in animals. 10am – 4pm . £35 per day.

MOORS VALLEY COUNTRY PARKwww.moors-valley.co.uk17 March. PIRATE TREASURE TRAILA special charity fundraising event organised by Diverse Abilities Plus and Naomi House Children’s Hospice.Use your treasure map and complete pirate fun and games and reach the treasure – walk the plank, swab the deck and rescue the man overboard to collect your stamps and find the buried treasure. There are four seperate start times to make your way round the trail; choose between 10.00am, 11.00am, 12.00pm and 1.00pm. See website for full details.

24 March. RAILWAY OPEN DAYA rare opportunity to find out what goes on behind the scenes at Moors Valley Railway.Head on down to Kingsmere Station for a guided tour of the Moors Valley Railway workshop & engine shed.You can take a look in the carriage sheds for coaches and wagons you may not usually see and unusual bits of memorabilia, including the original gas lamp from Ashley Heath station! Have a chat with some of the people who work on the engines, find out how an engine works and see what they are currently working on. Trains will be running from 10.45am to 5.00pm – we hope you will also have a ride!

9 April. MAGICAL SPRING TRUNDLEA fun and playful walk exploring the magic and mystery of the woodland from sights and smells to bugs and beasties. Follow the Rangers on a gentle trundle through the woods pausing along the way to play games and discover more about the wildlife that we see. Look for bugs and beasties, make a smelly cocktail and more! All children must be able to walk 1 mile.

SNOWTRAX: THE ALPINE ACTIVITY CENTREwww.snowtrax.euOpen everyday from 10am until it gets dark.Set in the attractive woodland area at the bottom of the ski slope, the Alpine Adventure Park offers an area for parents to relax whilst the kids play. Children £3, Adults £1.50

SWANAGE RAILWAYwww.swanagerailway.co.uk30 March – 1 AprilMEET PEPPA PIGAward-winning standard gauge preserved steam railway. Visitors can experience a unique journey through six miles of beautiful scenery passing the magnificent ruins of Corfe Castle. Peppa Pig will be making appearances at intervals on each day.

BUCKLERS HARD, NEW FORESTwww.bucklershard.co.uk6 - 7 AprilFamily Fun Weekend Open daily from 10am Family Fun Weekend at the Unique 18th century village where warships for Nelsons Navy were built. Living history characters, kids fun trails and prizes to be won.

PAULTONS PARKwww.paultonspark.co.uk22 MarchNew 4D Cinema LaunchThe brand new 4D cinema will put families in the heart of the action with a 3D movie, specially-designed moving chairs that coincide with the action on the screen, water sprays, blasts of air, leg ticklers, bubbles and even snow.

DIARY DATES & EVENTS

GREAT SOUTH WEST WALKwww.southwestcoastpath.org.uk3 April – South Coast starts in PooleAn event to celebrate the South West Coast Path Association’s 40th Anniversary with a walk of the entire South West Coast Path.

PAVILION DANCE SOUTH WEST, BOURNEMOUTHwww.paviliondance.org.uk8 AprilMOKO MIX by MOKO DANCE, 11.30am An exciting double bill of dance for young people aged 7+ and their families. The Suitcase Story is a poignant and uplifting show about friendship and love, while The Rock is filled with thrilling adventure and magic. There will also be free activities in the foyer before and after the show, plus a dance workshop from 1.30pm - 2.30pm for ages 7-12, which is free for the first 50 bookers! Performance tickets £5, babes in arms free.

March - April 2013Families Dorset www.familiesdorset.co.uk15

Out & About

MZ Easter Explode 180x130mm.indd 1 2/1/2013 4:06:04 PM

LIGHTHOUSE, POOLE’S CENTRE FOR THE ARTSwww.lighthousepoole.co.uk12 – 15 March.Tiddler And Other Terrific TalesA new show from the award-winning Scamp Theatre adapted from the bestselling books by children’s laureate, Julia Donaldson and illustrated by Axel Scheffler (creators of The Gruffalo). This is a magical collection of Julia Donaldson’s most popular titles including Tiddler, The Smartest Giant in Town, A Squash and a Squeeze and Monkey Puzzle. Under sea, over land, on the farm and in the jungle, these tales are woven together with live music, songs, puppets and a host of colourful characters who will delight. (Age 3+)

INDOOR PLAY

BEE A BUG PLAY CAFÉwww.beeabug.co.uk01202 766710Under 5’s play centre in the heart of Westbourne.

GUS GORILLA’S JUNGLE PLAYGROUNDwww.gusgorillas.co.ukPoole Park, Poole BH15 2SF 01202 717197A great all weather attraction with free parking, open 7 days a week.

LEMUR LANDINGSwww.lemurlandings.co.uk01202 740500Children’s soft play centre located at Tower Park in Poole.

SERENDIPITY SAM’Swww.serendipitysams.co.uk01202 481015Children’s indoor play, party and activity centre in Christchurch.

THE GOOD PLAY CAFÉwww.thegoodplaycafe.co.uk01202 425577The Good Play Café in Southbourne will be celebrating their 1st birthday in April, check out the café website or Facebook page to be kept up to date of details. Music, Drama, Art, Yoga, Baby Massage, and Baby Ballet classes take place on a weekly basis-all of which offer ‘Stay and Play for £1 pound’ afterwards. A variety of classes are also offered during the school holidays for the Under 8’s.

WILD THING! ADVENTURE WONDERLANDwww.adventurewonderland.co.uk01202 483444Indoor Aztec Adventure Play Centre with a range of exciting jungle themed rides and restaurant facilities, offering guaranteed fun, whatever the weather.

NEARLY NEW SALES

BABY & CHILDREN’S MARKETwww.babyandchildrensmarket.co.uk16 March, 10am-12pmPurbeck Sports Centre, BH20 4PH14 April, 2.30pm-4.30pmMerley Community Centre, Wimborne

KINDERMARKETwww.kindermarket.co.uk23 March, 10am – 11.30amSt Aldhelm’s Church Hall, Poole, BH12 1AD

LITTLE PICKLES EASTER SPECIALwww.littlepicklesmarkets.co.uk7 April, 10am – MiddayLittledown Centre, Chaseside, BH7 7DXA market full of pre-loved stalls and lots of fun filled Easter activities for the little ones!

TWICE AS NICE, BOURNEMOUTHwww.2asnice.co.uk30 March, 2.30 - 4pm   Winton Methodist Church Hall, BH9 1DE 7 April, 1pm - 2.30pmBeaufort Community Centre, BH6 5LB13 April, 10am - 11.30am  Southbourne Children’s Centre, BH6 5JB

March - April 2013Families Dorset www.familiesdorset.co.uk16

The world’s largest official collection of original James Bond vehicles at the National Motor Museum

UPDATED & EXTENDED FOR 2013

DON’T MISS IT . . .

EASTER EGG-STRAVAGANZAFrom 29th March - 14th April

Face painting, Victorian games and a sweet treat from

the Easter Bunny!

VISIT BEAULIEU THIS EASTER...

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National Motor Museum Palace House & Gardens Beaulieu AbbeyBeaulieu, New Forest, Hampshire SO42 7ZN Exit 2 M27 Open daily 10am Tel 01590 612345 www.beaulieu.co.uk

WEAR AHAT DAYThursday28th March2013

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