Family Life Family Life CertificationCertification

Module 6Module 6Marriage Marriage

StrengtheningStrengthening

10 married 10 married couplescouples

3 important C’s in a 3 important C’s in a marriagemarriage

• ommitmentommitment• ommunicationommunication

• andlelight andlelight & kisses& kisses

A DEFINITION OF LOVEA DEFINITION OF LOVE

Love is Love is a principlea principle

a a commitmentcommitment an an

unconditional unconditional commitmentcommitment

a covenant between a covenant between two peopletwo people

Love is always there; Love is always there; irregardless of feelings irregardless of feelings

Love is a decision: two Love is a decision: two people decidepeople decide

To make marriage an To make marriage an

absolute commitmentabsolute commitment To communicate To communicate

that commitment that commitment OFTENOFTEN

The LORD God said, "It is The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to not good for the man to be alone. I will make a be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."helper suitable for him." Genesis 2:18Genesis 2:18 NIV NIV

But for Adam no suitable helper was But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the LORD God caused the found. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the the man, and he brought her to the

man.man. Gen 2:20-22Gen 2:20-22 NIVNIV

COMMUNICATICOMMUNICATIONON

THE SECOND THE SECOND “C”“C”

• At the heart of At the heart of marriage is its marriage is its communication communication system system (Dwight Small)(Dwight Small)

Communication is a skillCommunication is a skill• Not taught but caught at homeNot taught but caught at home• Not taught in school/universityNot taught in school/university• Yet is vital to a relationship, Yet is vital to a relationship,

especially to marriageespecially to marriage• Does not just happen; has to be Does not just happen; has to be

learnedlearned

#1 Source #1 Source of of

FrustratioFrustration n

for Wivesfor Wives

• ClichéCliché• Reporting the factsReporting the facts• My ideas/judgments/opinionsMy ideas/judgments/opinions• My feelings/emotionsMy feelings/emotions• Complete emotional, deep and Complete emotional, deep and

personal truthful personal truthful communicationcommunication

Levels of Levels of CommunicatioCommunicatio

nn

• Communication needs to be Communication needs to be positive and encouragingpositive and encouraging

THE THIRD “C”THE THIRD “C”

•Candlelight Candlelight and Kissesand Kisses

The man said, "This is now bone of my The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,‘ for she was taken be called 'woman,‘ for she was taken out of man." out of man."

For this reason a man will leave his For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one his wife, and they will become one flesh. flesh.

The man and his wife were both naked, The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.and they felt no shame. Gen 2:23-25Gen 2:23-25 NIV NIV

Haven’t you read in your Bible that Haven’t you read in your Bible that the Creator originally made man the Creator originally made man and woman for each other, male and woman for each other, male and female? And because of this, a and female? And because of this, a man leaves father and mother and man leaves father and mother and is firmly bonded to his wife, is firmly bonded to his wife, becoming one flesh—no longer two becoming one flesh—no longer two bodies but one.bodies but one. Matthew 19:4-6Matthew 19:4-6 NIV NIV

Cultivating Cultivating Romantic LoveRomantic Love

PlanningPlanning

PrioritiesPrioritiesIf you don’t If you don’t choosechoose to be to be romantic, and then romantic, and then planplan to be to be romantic, you probably romantic, you probably won’t won’t be romanticbe romantic

Time—a rare Time—a rare commoditycommodity

Parents don’t have time Parents don’t have time for childrenfor children

Husbands and wives Husbands and wives don’t have time for each don’t have time for each otherother

Korean couples spend only 2 Korean couples spend only 2 minutes communicating per minutes communicating per dayday

Quality time vs quantity time Quality time vs quantity time

5 Vitamins of Love5 Vitamins of Love

AttentionAttention

Bear hugs/touches each morning Bear hugs/touches each morning and eveningand evening

Compliments throughout the dayCompliments throughout the day

Discipline to learn how to fill Discipline to learn how to fill each other with loveeach other with love

EncouragementEncouragement

““Everyday we’re poured a Everyday we’re poured a cupful of time. You either cupful of time. You either drink yours or spill it on the drink yours or spill it on the floor.”floor.” -- -- Ron D. BarbaroRon D. Barbaro

Cultivating Cultivating Romantic LoveRomantic Love

Proper Proper restrest

Prayer in your Prayer in your MarriageMarriage

Prayer is the breath of the soul. It is Prayer is the breath of the soul. It is the secret of spiritual power. No other the secret of spiritual power. No other means of grace can be substituted and means of grace can be substituted and the health of the soul be preserved. the health of the soul be preserved. Prayer brings the heart into immediate Prayer brings the heart into immediate contact with the Wellspring of Life, and contact with the Wellspring of Life, and strengthens the … muscle of the strengthens the … muscle of the religious experience. Neglect the religious experience. Neglect the exercise of prayer, or engage in prayer exercise of prayer, or engage in prayer spasmodically, now and then, as spasmodically, now and then, as convenient, and you lose your hold on convenient, and you lose your hold on God. God. GW 254-255GW 254-255

Our Past & ForgivenessOur Past & Forgiveness

Like it or not, we are stuck with Like it or not, we are stuck with our past. The only tyranny of the our past. The only tyranny of the past is forgiveness. In order to past is forgiveness. In order to forgive we must first surrender forgive we must first surrender our right to get even. Without our right to get even. Without forgiveness your anger will turn forgiveness your anger will turn to resentment and eventually to resentment and eventually hatred for each other.hatred for each other.

We tend to forgive slowlyWe tend to forgive slowly

We tend to forgive with others We tend to forgive with others who forgive.who forgive.

We forgive as we are forgivenWe forgive as we are forgiven

Review: Share one point you learned with the rest of the group about strengthening a marriage.

I’ve told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. John 15:11, 12 NIV

Ask in my name, according to my will and God will most certainly give it to you. Your joy will be like a river, overflowing its banks! John 16:24 (Message Bible)