Feedback–

WE PROMISED in our last issue to

publish the top 10 runners-up in our

“Flirt with science” competition, in

which readers were invited to seduce

the person of their dreams with a

science-related chat-up line. In the

event we have decided to give you not

just 10 but 15. We hope you’ll agree it

would have been a shame to leave any

of these out.

We are glad to include here one of

the chat-up lines that was once actually

used – to great effect. We also include

two extra submissions from one of our

competition winners, Yonatan Silver.

I need a seed for my pseudo-random

number generator – could I have your

phone number?

Ian Marshall

Palo Alto, California, US

Your universe or mine?

and

Hello, did you know that I’ve invented

calorie-free chocolate, and I’ve got some

back at my place?

Attracta Uí Bhroin

Dublin, Ireland

You’re so sweet I am developing

insulin resistance.

Alex Carlton

Bradford on Avon, Wiltshire, UK

What’s a nice girl like you doing in

a superposition like this?

Nigel Eaton

Hitchin, Hertfordshire, UK

Did you know that if oysters had no natural

enemies, in 10 years the world would be

28 miles deep in oysters? (We married in

1968 and are still going strong.)

Michael Boddy

Binalong, New South Wales, Australia

Hello, I am Bob. You must be Alice. You

haven’t changed a bit!

J. H. Van Veen

Voorschoten, The Netherlands

As a quantum physicist, the moment

I observed you I determined that we

were heading to your place or mine.

and

Of all the bars, on all the planets where

conditions support intelligent, bipedal,

carbon-based life forms…

Yonatan Silver

Jerusalem, Israel

Hello, I’m Doctor Frankenstein – and I’ve

got a monster!

Allan Whatling

St Mawgan, Cornwall, UK

I’ve got some francium back at my place.

and

You have a hyperfine structure.

Ilona Schofield and Caroline Riggs

Brighton, East Sussex, UK

Forget what they say about butterflies,

I think that you could whip up a storm

just by fluttering your eyelashes.

Justin Byrne

Dublin, Ireland

How can I know a hundred digits of pi, but

not the 11 digits of your phone number?

Yuan Yang

Leeds, Yorkshire, UK

Looking at you, creationists may have

a point after all.

Amy Fairbrother

Northcliff, South Africa

TURNING to other matters, dramatic

news has reached us via the Remote

Sensing and Photogrammetry Society’s

announcement that the Earth

observation team within the UK

government’s environment

department has been organising “a

series of awareness raising events”.

Good thing too. We, for example,

didn’t know until we visited www.

defra.gov.uk/science/Earth

Observation.htm that satellites are

used to watch crops growing, not

growing, or being built over – as well as

other important things like the effects

of climate change.

So what was the occasion? The

society explains at http://ageofspace.

notlong.com that the events held at the

end of 2007 were “coinciding with the

50th anniversary of space”.

Is this a new date for the big bang?

Should the creationists be told? Or is

it just that crystal-gazer models of the

cosmos have gained greater credence

in some quarters than we had expected?

A SIGN at Holborn, the underground station

nearest the New Scientist London office,

stated: “Camden Town station is closed due

to a localised event taking place.” This,

presumably, was to distinguish it from

all those non-localised, quantum events

encouraged by announcements such as:

“Use all doors to exit.”

Even so, wouldn’t it have been simpler

just to say that Camden Town station was

closed “because something happened”?

FINALLY, several readers have told us

about signs on motorways around the

UK that tell drivers: “Please use

existing road signs.” Matt Kelland

probably speaks for all of them when

he observes: “I tried using the other

kind, but couldn’t find any.”

You can send stories to Feedback by email

at feedback@newscientist.com. Please

include your home address. This week’s and

past Feedbacks can be seen on our website.

PAU

L M

CDEV

ITT

64 | NewScientist | 5 January 2008 www.newscientist.com

An email entitled “Pumpkins, Rage Under Voodoo Spell” left Colin Deady disappointed, there being nothing in it about how to make vegetables furious with magic. Just another promise to make him more attractive