FELDMEYER 2009. David & Jonathan - The Love of Friends

8/2/2019 FELDMEYER 2009. David & Jonathan - The Love of Friends

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DAVID & JONATHAN: THE LOVE OF FRIENDSI Samuel 18: 1-4 & II Samuel 1: 25-27

Dean Feldmeyer -- Feb. 8, 200925

How the mighty have fallen in the midst of the battle! Jonathan lies slain upon your high places.26

I am distressed for you,my brother Jonathan; greatly beloved were you to me; your love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women.

27How the mighty

have fallen, and the weapons of war perished! (II Sam.1:25-27)

BROMANCE OR ROMANCE?

As we did a few weeks ago, we begin, this morning, with a brief quiz. Here are the names of some men. Howwould you define their relationships?

Lets start with fictional cops:Starsky and Hutch (Starsky and Hutch, TV Show)Crockett and Tubbs (Miami Vice, TV Show)Riggs and Murtaugh (Lethal Weapon, Movies)

Here are some men from the world of comedy fiction:Denny Crane and Alan Shore (Boston Legal, TV Show)Lenny and Squiggy (Laverne & Shirley, TV Show)Ralph Cramden and Ed Norton (The Honeymooners, TV Show)Fred Flinstone and Barney Rubble (The Flintstones, TV Show)Joey Tribbiani and Chandler Bing (Friends, TV Show)

From old movies:Bob Wallace and Phil Davis (White Christmas)Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid)

And here are some real people:George Clooney and Brad PittBen Affleck and Mat Damon

A generation ago we would have called these relationships partners or good friends or even best friends. But ourchildren and grandchildren have coined a new word. Its aportmanteau, that is, a word that is created by combining partsof two other words.

The word is bromance. Thats B-R-O-M-A-N-C-E. A combination of the words brother and romance. Theword itself is so new that the exact definition varies according to what source you consult but most of them agree that a

bromance is an unusually close or intimate relationship between two heterosexual men. Bromances are usually acause of frustration for the wives or girlfriends of these men because the level personal intimacy that these men have,while non-sexual, may be deeper than what they have with the women in their lives.

You know youve got a bromance if the wives or girlfriends say things liketheyre together all the time, or they are together more than we are, or hed rather be with him than with me, ortheyre more of a couple than we are.

So youve learned a new word this morning. Bromance.Your assignment for this afternoon, over lunch or dinner, is to see how many other bromances you can name

besides the ones Ive given you here.In the mean time well be thankful to Dave Carnie, the editor ofBig Brother, the skateboard magazine, who is

credited with coining the word in 1990. We are grateful because it is theperfect word to describe the relationshipbetween David and Jonathan.

David and Jonathan had a bromance an unusually close or intimate relationship between two heterosexual

men. Or not. It might not have been a bromance. It might have been a romance.Bromance or romance? That is a question that biblical scholars have wrestled with for just about a hundredyears, now.

Because, while there is certainly plenty of evidence within the text that the relationship was a bromance. There isnearly as much evidence that it was a romance. In fact, there is nearly unanimous agreement among scholars, today,that there are three possibilities, all of which can be supported by different interpretations of the text:

1. David and Jonathan had an unusually close, intimate, non-physical heterosexual relationship.2. David and Jonathan had a romantic but non-physical relationship.3. David and Jonathan had a romantic and physical relationship.

Anyone who insists that the first possibility is the only one just isnt fully in touch with biblical history andscholarship. It is possible to make excuses for references to David and Jonathan kissing, David and Jonathans soulsbeing knit together, David and Jonathan making a covenant binding them together, and Davids insistence in his eulogyfor Jonathan that your love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women. It is possible to explain the fact that David


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married none of his wives the eight who are named and the others who are not for love. And it may be possible torationalize the fact that David expressed love for only two people in his entire life his son, Absalom, and Jonathan. Butno matter how hard we try and how badly we want to, we just cant excuse, explain or rationalize themAWAY.

No matter what we do or say, the question still lingers there.Bromance or romance?Its fascinating and even fun to speculate on that topic and I felt like I had to bring it up this morning because

whenever you talk about these two guys its kind of like the elephant in the corner that no one wants to acknowledge. Butwe have to realize that no matter what side we come down on, its still speculation.

And its not even to the point.The point of the story of the relationship between David and Jonathan is to be found not in any part or phrase or

chapter or verse of the story but in the story as a whole.

THE STORY IN SIX PARTS

Parts I & II Jonathan Introduced as a Great Warrior (I Sam. 13-14)

The story of the life of David is spread out over forty two chapters of the Hebrew Scriptures which we havetraditionally called the Old Testament. Jonathans name appears in six of those chapters, but he appears with David inonly four.

We first meet Jonathan in First Samuel, chapters thirteen and fourteen. Saul is at war with the Philistines, ofcourse. (Saul was always at war with the Philistines.) His army numbers three thousand men. He takes personal chargeover two thousand and he puts Jonathan in charge of another thousand.

Chapters thirteen and fourteen describe Jonathans exploits as a military leader and how he becomes a hero of

the people and the soldiers. So popular is he that when he breaks a fast that has been established by his father, the king,an act that would have normally been punishable by stoning, the king is forced to back down because he feels threatenedby the army who like Jonathan more than they like Saul.

Jonathan then disappears from view for four chapters and what amounts to several years.

Part III -- Jonathan Meets David (I Sam. 18)

The next time we see Jonathan is immediately after the slaying of Goliath.Remember, Jonathan is a seasoned warrior and general in Sauls army by now, making him something like ten to

fifteen years older than David. And he is present in his fathers tent when David is brought before the king and asked hisname. He tells the king he is David, son of Jesse the Bethlehemite and, the text says:

When David had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was bound to the soul of David, andJonathan loved him as his own soul.

Saul than takes David into his home and refuses to let him go back to his fathers house and it is there, in thepalace, that Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. Jonathan strippedhimself of the robe that he was wearing, and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow andhis belt, an action that no scholar has been able to successfully and fully explain.

Part IV Jonathan Saves Davids Life for the First Time (I Sam. 19)

Just one chapter later, Saul, filled with paranoia and multiple psychoses, becomes convinced that David is goingto kill him and usurp the throne. He complains to his servants and to his sons, including Jonathan, that he wishessomeone would just kill David. (Shades ofBecket, eh?)

Jonathan runs to David and tells him he should be very careful, that Saul is out to kill him. Then he offers to go toSaul and speak to him on Davids behalf. He tells David to hide and he will try to talk Saul out of his desire to have Davidkilled and, if he is successful, he will come and tell David.

Jonathan speaks to Saul and reminds him that David has risked his own life to defeat the Philistines on severaloccasions and that he has done absolutely nothing to harm Israel or to undermine the king. This hatred Saul has forDavid is based on an illusion, a misapprehension or both.

Saul agrees that David is innocent and tells Jonathan to tell David that he is now safe in the city. So Jonathangets David and brings him back into the city, near the castle and all is well.

For awhile.

Part V Jonathan Foils Sauls Second Attempt on Davids Life (I Sam. 20)

By the time we get to chapter twenty, Sauls paranoid rage is in full blossom. He has, again, tried to kill Davidwith a spear (the third time) and David has left the capital and fled to the city of Naioth in the region of Ramah. Jonathancomes to meet him there and David asks, again, what he has done to enrage the king? Hes going to kill me, he tells


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Jonathan. Jonathan assures him that this will never happen because the king never has a thought that he doesnt sharewith Jonathan. If he was plotting to kill you, he says, Id know.

David isnt so sure. He knows you love me, he tells Jonathan. He might not tell you if he plans to kill me.Jonathan allows that this might be the case and says, Well, what do you want me to do? Ill do anything you ask.

And, together, they hatch a plan.The Feast of the New Moon is happening next week and Saul will expect David, who is now his son-in-law, to be

at the feast table with the rest of the family. David will not show up for the first couple of days of the feast. When Saulasks about him, as surely he will, Jonathan is to say that David asked permission to go back to Bethlehem because it isthe custom of Jesse, his father, to offer a sacrifice at this time of year and he wants the whole family to be there.Jonathan is to say that he, acting with the authority that only the kings eldest son has, granted David permission to go.

If Saul does not get angry, then they will know that everything is okay and David is not in danger.But if Saul does get angry they will know that the plan was afoot to have David killed and Jonathan has foiled that

plan by giving David permission to be away.They hatch a further plan so that David will know whether its safe or not. David will hide behind a pile of rocks in

a certain field and Jonathan will go to that field to practice his archery. He will bring with him a slave boy to fetch thearrows that he shoots. If, when the boy is gathering the arrows, Jonathan says that an arrow is short of where the boy islooking, that will be the signal that it is safe. But if he tells the boy that the arrow is further out than he is looking, that willbe the signal that it is not safe and David is to flee with all haste.

So Jonathan goes to the feast and, sure enough, Saul asks about David. Oh, hes gone back to Bethlehem tojoin his family for a traditional family sacrifice, says Jonathan. He asked me and I said it would be okay.

Saul flies into a rage. Not for one minute does he believe Jonathan. Listen to him as he speaks in the KingJames English: Thou son of the perverse rebellious woman, do not I know that thou hast chosen the son of Jesseto thine own confusion, and unto the confusion of thy mothers nakedness?

31For as long as the son of Jesse

liveth upon the ground, thou shalt not be established, nor thy kingdom. Wherefore now send and fetch him untome, for he shall surely die.

32And Jonathan answered Saul his father, and said unto him, Wherefore shall he be slain? what hath he

done?33

And Saul cast a javelin at him to smite him: whereby Jonathan knew that it was determined of his fatherto slay David.

34So Jonathan arose from the table in fierce anger, and did eat no meat the second day of the

month: for he was grieved for David, because his father had done him shame.Sauls rage is not first against David, says Old Testament scholar, Walter Brueggemann, in his delightful and

insightful commentary. His rage is against the closer target, Jonathan. Saul is not surprised or deceived by thesubterfuge of David. But to have his own son and heir join the charade against him is a profound humiliation. The rage israge only a father can feel for a son, a son who could have received the whole future from the father but would have noneof it.

Dont you understand, says Saul. As long as David lives you will never become king. But Jonathan does not

seem to care. Has his love for David blinded him such that he would betray his own father, not to mention his own future?Has David somehow seduced him into this covenant, this agreement that he and David have made that has, according toJonathan knit their souls together? First his daughter, Davids wife, Michal, lies to him and saves David. Now Jonathandefies him for Davids sake.

What strange power this David possesses, what amazing charisma is his that those who love and follow him will,if necessary, hate their own father.

The pleasant holiday meal has been hopelessly destroyed by the screaming match between father and son.Then, overcome with rage, Saul throws his javelin at his own son, Jonathan. And Jonathan storms out.

It is now clear that Jonathans choice to love David has come at a terrible price. Not only has he been rejected byhis father, his life is in danger.

Jonathan goes to the field where David is hiding, waiting to hear word. He shoots his arrow and tells the boy togo further out to find it, the signal that David must flee. Then, speaking to the boy, and secretly, to David, he adds:Hurry, be quick, do not linger.

But David cannot bring himself to go quickly. It is very possible, he realizes, that this could be the last time theysee each other. The writers of First Samuel describe their very painful parting: Jonathan gave his weapons to the boyand said to him, Go and carry them to the city. As soon as the boy had gone, David rose from beside the stoneheap and prostrated himself with his face to the ground. He bowed three times, and they kissed each other, andwept with each other Then Jonathan said to David, Go in peace, since both of us have sworn in the name ofthe LORD, saying, The LORD shall be between me and you, and between my descendants and your descendants,forever. He got up and left; and Jonathan went into the city.

They would never see each other again.

Part VI -- The Death of Saul and Jonathan (I Sam. 31 & II Sam. 1)

After leaving Jonathan, David flees and those soldiers who are loyal to him join him on the run. Saul is beyondreason and may very well have anyone who is sympathetic or loyal to David killed. David flees from one city to another


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but he is not allowed to stay anywhere for very long.No one wants to anger Saul.Over and over, David flees and Saul gives chase. Skirmishes take place. David tries to convince Saul that he is

not a threat. But Saul is lost in his own paranoia.Eventually, with nowhere else to turn, David hires himself and his men out as mercenaries to the hated

Philistines. And all goes well until the Philistines declare war, once again, on the Israelites. David, now under contract tothe Philistines, will be expected to fight against his own king and his own people. And, to make matters worse, wordcomes to him that Jonathan has somehow managed to get back into the kings good graces. He is back in front of histhousand men, leading them into the battle.

Saul and the Israelites are camped at Mt. Gilboa. David and his men are in the city of Gath awaiting instructions,assembling and getting ready to march out to meet the Israelites and trying to figure out a way to not fight against his ownpeople.

The order is given to march and the army of Gath moves out to meet the armies of the other cities of Philistia.When they do meet the other armies are not happy to see David and his men. They see this as a huge conflict of interestfor David and wonder if he can be trusted. King Achish, with whom David is allied, assures the Philistines that David canbe trusted but they disagree and insist that he and his men be left behind.

King Achish apologizes to David and sends him off to fight the Amelikites and punish them for a raid on the townof Ziklag. He is, of course, successful and it is while he is relaxing in Ziklag after the battle that word comes to him of thebattle of Gilboa.

The Philistines were triumphant. The Israelites were routed.And what of Saul? And what of his sons?They are all dead.

All?

All.

How the mighty have fallen in the midst of the battle! Jonathan lies slain upon your high places. I amdistressed for you, my brother Jonathan; greatly beloved were you to me; your love to me was wonderful,passing the love of women. How the mighty have fallen, and the weapons of war perished.

The enemy king, the wonderful generous, kind and loving man with whom he had lived for so many years, thepoor, miserable, demented wretch with whom he had tried to reason and from whom he had eventually been forced to flee

the enemy king the great and glorious Saul the killer of thousands and the one who dressed Israel in scarlet andpurple, is gone.

And Jonathan, the mentor and best friend whose love for David surpassed that of all his wives, the one withwhose soul his own was knotted and knit, the one who, when the choice was put before him, chose David over his own

father Jonathan, the beloved who kissed him and wept with him as they said goodbyeBromance or romance? Does itreally matter? The point is that they loved one another. They sacrificed for one another. They looked at the future andfaced it together and now the one, the only one to whom David would ever feel truly connected, heart to heart -- wasdead.

And David was alone in his grief a grief that no one understood, much less shared.Alone.

To whom would he talk now? With whom would he share his innermost thoughts, his dreams, his hopes and hisfears? To whom would he turn?

Next week, the answer to that questionand more.

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FELDMEYER 2009. David & Jonathan - The Love of Friends