Free Response Essay Tips for Structure and Organization of Ideas

Planning

• Take 5 minutes or so to plan. • Read the prompt at least twice. • Think about the prompt and what it is asking. Think about why this idea matters both in and outside of the novel.

Ask yourself “so what”? Think about how this big idea can be truly complex, how the novel demonstrates that complexity, and how your essay can be an exploration of this. Think about specific details from the novel you will include as evidence of these ideas.

• Create a brief brainstorm in whatever format helps you – a web, list, or something to that effect. Create a path for you to follow, but don’t be afraid to deviate from that path if an idea hits you as you write. Be sure to do this on scratch paper and not on the lined essay paper that will be graded.

Introduction and Thesis Option 1 • Begin your intro with the big idea presented in the prompt. Explore briefly but meaningfully why this idea matters

outside of the world of the novel. Avoid clichés such as “since the beginning of time” or “in the real world” • Transition into the world of the novel and work towards your thesis.

Option 2 • Jump right into the world of the novel. Provide a brief overview of the characters and/or setting and work your way

towards your thesis statement. Thesis Statement • Note that many prompts ask you to write about “a character” – this means one character. Of course, you will mention

other characters in your essay, but your main argument in these cases must be one character. • Create a thesis statement that makes an argument. This argument should include the big idea from the prompt, but it

must go further than that. It should identify what this novel says about the big idea, possibly linking this to another related big idea. (Example: Violence is in the prompt, but you could add to this by saying the violent act reveals the character’s desperation to escape the confines of his situation)

• Identify title (correctly punctuated – novel titles are underlined) and author of the work. Include a character’s name or the specific thing the prompt is asking you to include.

• Avoid thesis statements that are a formulaic list of the 3 points you will make in your essay. • Don’t make this a long paragraph. It should be 5 sentences or less. • Don’t include evidence yet. Save this for your body paragraphs. • DO NOT WRITE “THE READER” EVER. FOR ANY REASON. Body Paragraph 1 • Start with a strong assertion statement that includes a “sub theme” – one that relates to your thesis and includes a

specific character and/or setting in the novel • In many works of literature, the setting is an essential part of developing the theme. In these cases, you should provide

an overview of the setting. Provide specific details about the time and/or place and how the argument in your thesis is revealed through the setting. (Example: the hospital in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest helps reveal many of the novel’s themes).

• This first body paragraph should include the most obvious or basic ways to respond to the prompt. You are “setting the table” for your guest here. Help them get comfy and familiar with the literal before you get started on the true journey of the metaphoric complexities. To use another metaphor, think about going swimming in a lake. I suggest you gradually walk into the lake rather than jumping into the deep end.

• Evidence and Commentary: Provide several specific details from the novel and comment on each one and why it matters. These comments should help develop your thesis, which of course links to the prompt. (hold hands with the prompt!)

• DO NOT WRITE “THE READER” EVER. FOR ANY REASON.

Body Paragraphs 2 - ? • Remember to begin with an assertion statement, but also think about transitions. Each paragraph should be aware of

the paragraph that existed before it. Remember that you are building an argument and exploring complex ideas, not filling in the blanks of a formula. Make sure each paragraph ends with strong commentary that will help you transition into your next paragraph.

• Each body paragraph should build in complexity. Push yourself to really explore the novel here. One way to do this is to build towards things like irony and/or symbolism. This will almost always takes you to an interesting and complex place.

• Continue to include ample evidence in each body paragraph – specific details from the novel – then explore why those details matter. These comments should help develop your thesis, which of course links to the prompt. (hold hands with the prompt!)

• Remember your thesis but also don’t be afraid to truly explore the ideas that you want to explore. It’s better to go somewhere exciting than to remain safe, so take risks. If you stray too far away from your thesis, you can always find a way back. However, remember this exploration should always remain in the realm of the novel. Do not forget that this is a literary analysis essay, so this novel should remain your focus throughout your body paragraphs.

• Push yourself to include as many body paragraphs as you have time for. • DO NOT WRITE “THE READER” EVER. FOR ANY REASON Conclusion • Your job here is to conclude: that is, to express what you have realized through exploring the ideas in your paper. The

main idea here is to connect the sub-themes you’ve expressed OR to succinctly express why this book and these idea matter.

The Good • Revisit the ideas of your thesis but DO NOT restate the exact thesis statement • Keep it brief • Try one of these strategies

o End with a symbolic or powerful fact. o Describe a visual image from the novel that captures the argument in your thesis o Reverse the structure of your introduction (begin your conclusion with the ideas in your thesis then work towards

how these ideas matter in the world outside of the novel – really explore the “reasons for the reasons” o Think about the connection that your sub-themes have other than the connection to your thesis. Many times, this

connection is important. It can give a clue to a deeper, underlying theme that is connected to the theme you’re exploring.

o Another way to connect the sub-themes is to revisit the one that is most important, where you discuss the importance of that sub-point and why it is essential/profound/important

The Bad • Do not write “in conclusion” or anything similar • Do not repeat your thesis statement • Do not repeat what you have already included in your essay (unless you are revisiting it to emphasize why it is

essential to understanding the novel) • Do not include clichés or make sentimental, emotional appeals that are out of character with the rest of an

analytical paper. • Do not praise or critique the author’s ability to write effectively • Include very little if any evidence in your conclusion (sometimes one additional fact here can be powerful, but most

of your evidence should be in your body paragraphs) • DO NOT WRITE “THE READER” EVER. FOR ANY REASON.

The Ugly • Having no conclusion makes the essay feel incomplete. Even if you are rushed and can only write a couple of

sentences, that is better than nothing at all. Provide closure! • DO NOT WRITE “THE READER” EVER. FOR ANY REASON.

Sample Thesis Statements

Although the escalation of violence in John Steinbeck’s Of Mice and Men eventually results in two deaths, the violence actually reveals compassion as George, in a violent but merciful act, saves his friend Lenny from cruel mob justice. In William Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew, Petruchio demonstrates a clear ability to use language precisely. Therefore, he is far more successful at manipulating people than Lucentio, demonstrating that language, not money or social status, is the true source of power.

Sample Intros and Conclusions

Prompt In literary works, cruelty often functions as a crucial motivation or a major social or political factor. Select a novel, play, or epic poem in which acts of cruelty are important to the theme. Then write a well-developed essay analyzing how cruelty functions in the work as a whole and what the cruelty reveals about the perpetrator and/or victim. Intro In Shakespeare’s Othello, the evil character Iago instigates the majority of the plot though his cruel ways. At the start of the work, Othello has recently married Desdemona and the couple is perfectly content. Othello has also recently appointed Cassio to lieutenant – choosing him over the vengeful Iago. Through his manipulative ways, Iago is able to bring about the downfall of nearly every character in the play. Iago’s surreptitious and subtle cruelty fuels other characters to commit their own acts of cruelty which they may not have otherwise deemed possible. Conclusion Iago’s cruelty is the cause of everyone’s, including his own, downfall, but he is not the only one responsible. His cruelty reveals more about his victims than it does about himself. Desdemona demonstrates that it is not always necessary to become cruel when treated with cruelty, but many other characters fall victim to this. One cruel action fuels another, and the cyclical nature of evil prevails when one has at least a hint of even in himself. Cruelty functions in many ways, but it is nearly always guaranteed to breed more cruelty. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Prompt Palestinian American literary theorist and cultural critic Edward Said has written that “Exile is strangely compelling to think about but terrible to experience. It is the unhealable rift forced between a human being and a native place, between the self and its true home: its essential sadness can never be surmounted.” Yet Said has also said that exile can become “a potent, even enriching” experience. Select a novel, play, or epic in which a character experiences such a rift and becomes cut off from “home,” whether that home is the character’s birthplace, family, homeland, or other special place. Then write an essay in which you analyze how the character’s experience with exile is both alienating and enriching, and how this experience illuminates the meaning of the work as a whole. Intro Edward Said has asserted that exile is both an “unhealable rift” and an “enriching experience.” While these two statements seem to contradict one another, Said is correct in his assumption that the two often go together. In the novel Things Fall Apart, Chinua Achebe illustrates this heart wrenching experience through the novel’s protagonist, Okonkwo. Though his exile, Okonkwo confronts firsthand the meaning of cowardice and the importance of cultural understanding. Conclusion While Okonkwo’s exile did not prove entirely enriching for him, it illustrates the point that while being exiled from one’s homeland may be a devastating and unbearable experience, it can also provide insight to oneself and those left behind. Due to Okonkwo’s stagnant nature, he found himself unable to change, and this inability ultimately leads to catastrophe and inevitable demise.

CHARACTERIZATION MOTIVATION • What drives characters to act: their needs, goals, and fears? • Note that sometimes characters are not conscious of what motivates them. IRONY/CONTRADICTIONS • Do the character’s words contradict with his or her actions? • Does the character reveal more about himself than he intends? • Is the character reliable? If he or she does not tell the truth, is it an intentional or unintentional lie? • Does the narrator's attitude toward the character match the character's self-perception? PHYSICAL DESCRIPTIONS • Does the character's physical appearance reflect or contradict his or her personality? • How does he or she move (or not move)? • Does the character's physical appearance change over time, and does this change reflect a change within the

character? (see CHANGES below) CONFLICT • What prominent conflicts does the character endure in the passage? Pay careful attention to INTERNAL conflict. • Conflict always results in CHANGE (see below) • Types of conflict:

o WITH SELF values motivations desires aspirations

o WITH OTHERS

foils rivals allies doppelgangers other

o WITH ENVIRONMENT

setting forces of nature society (and/or socioeconomics)

o WITH DESTINY

purpose expectations self actualization

CHANGES • What changes does the character undergo in the passage? Does the character submit to or rebel against these

changes? • Does the character goes on a physical journey (even a seemingly insignificant one)? If so, look at how the character

evolves internally through this journey. • Does the character experience a moment or moments of transcendence (one that extends beyond the limits of ordinary

experience - think "spiritual moment") as a result of the changes he or she undergoes? • Does the character's physical appearance change over time, and if so, does this reflect an internal change?

Alludes to Argues Asserts Challenges Characterizes Claims Conveys Defies Demonstrates Denies Depicts Describes Distinguishes Distorts Downplays Dramatizes Embodies Emphasizes Evokes Extends Heightens

Highlights

Hints Illustrates Implies Justifies Lists Manipulates Mimics Mirrors Opposes Personifies Portrays Questions Recalls Refutes Reveals Ridicules Satirizes Suggests Symbolizes Vacillates

ST

RO

NG

VE

RB

S

Word Choice and Cohesion

Guidelines 1. Clarity: Every sentence clear and easy to understand 2. Vocabulary: Includes advanced vocabulary, including strong adjectives (Examples: manipulative, desperate) and

strong verbs (Examples: realizes, defies, avoids, fears) 3. Clichés: Avoids clichés (Examples: fight fire with fire, calls the shots, had his back, looked up to him, back off, tone

it down, start off with a bang, get under his skin, on edge) 4. Context: Avoids references to chapter, page number, and phrases like “throughout the book” and includes context

instead (Example: In chapter two, McMurphy shakes every patient’s hand. When McMurphy first arrives at the hospital, he shakes every patient’s hand.)

5. Repetition: Avoids repetition of words and phrases (unless they are being used as writing technique) 6. Pronouns: Avoids 1st person pronouns (I, me, we, us) and 2nd person pronoun (you)

7. Wordiness: Avoids wordy phrases that could be omitted (Examples: due to the fact that, this is because, the reason for this is, this implies that, this demonstrates that)

8. Sentence Variety: sentences vary in length and structure to create smooth transitions and a natural rhythm and flow

(Hints: Look at how long each sentence is. Look at the first word of each sentence. These should both change throughout.)

9. Vague Words/Phrases: Avoids phrases that are vague and/or ambiguous (Examples: changes to what it originally

was, shows a different side)

Sample 3A Length: 3 full handwritten pages

William Golding’s Lord of the Flies possesses a very different portrayal of childhood than the commonly

accepted notion of marked innocence. Wherever this belief is held, the question of when this innocence is lost

remains. Golding presents his view that children are never innocent, only constrained by the limitations of societal

expectations.

The novel begins as a group of stranded, British school children must inhabit an island without the supervision

of adults, after their plane crashes. A microcosm of adult society, the children’s actions (and inactions), decisions

(and indecisions) parallel the adult world despite their youth. For example, Ralph holds the conch, a

manifestation of the children’s idea of power; therefore, Ralph becomes the leader even though the smarter and

more qualified choice of leadership is Piggy, the object of humiliation and scorn. Ralph attempts to maintain

order, but human nature prevents this as factions form, disagreements blaze, and eventually, tribal warfare

erupts. Ironically, as the children sink deeper into their fighting, the adult world is completely enmeshed in their

own war.

The similarities between the children on the island and the adults of the world give frightening insight on the

nature of human beings. When left alone, the children do not play nicely as their parents would hope, nor do

they follow the rules of society when they have no one to enforce them. The older children terrorize the

younglings, indulge in a disgusting, sexualized slaughter of a mother pig, and eventually murder Simon, a fellow

child on the island. Ironically, Simon is the only boy on the island that can insightfully see the root of their troubles

and fears. While many of the boys believe there is an actual beast on the island, Simon eventually understands

that the only monster on the island is the evil within the boys themselves, creeping out from the inside, stalking

their conscience, and playing on their fears.

Golding presents the childhood of the boys as terrifying as they are in a situation that allows their inner

monster to emerge. The presumed innocence of youth evaporates when the boys find themselves outside the limits

of “civilized” society. Golding’s ironic truth, made apparent by the downward spiral of the boys’ concept of right

and wrong, is that children possess the same capacity for evil as adults. All men, children and adults alike, share

an innate depravity, kept in check only by institutionalized ideas of morality.

Prose Essay Packet Homework 1. Read pages 1 – 2 of your prose essay packet. Mark each bullet point on pages 1 – 2 with one of the following:

+ You feel confident you will be able to do this on the in-class essay - You do NOT feel confident you will be able to do this on the in-class essay ? You aren’t sure if you will be able to do this or what is being asked of you

2. Read the two sample thesis statements on the top of page 3. Highlight the one you like the best. 3. Read the sample introductions and conclusions on page 3 and answer the following questions:

A. Which intro and conclusion do like the best?

B. Why?

C. List two strategies you see the student using in your favorite introduction a.

b.

D. List two strategies you see the student using in your favorite conclusion:

a.

b. 4. Read pages 4, 5, and 6, which all contain info you’ve seen before. Highlight helpful info on each page. Look for things

you want to focus on in your writing.

5. Read the sample prompt on page 7. Highlight the big ideas in the prompt. Highlight the title of any novel you have read from the list at the bottom of the page.

6. Read the rubric on page 8. Highlight the words in each category that help you understand what that score means. 7. Read pages 9 - 13, which include 3 student essay. For all three essays, do the following:

Highlight evidence in one color.

Highlight commentary in a different color.

8. Read the scoring commentary at the end of each essay. Highlight words/phrases that are helpful to you in understanding why the paper received the score.

9. Answer the following after finishing the packet.

3 things you should do in a free response essay •

•

•

2 things you should NOT do in a free response essay •

•

1 question you have about the free response essay