Friday, March 11, 2011

Priory Mock Trial is doing great, so far undefeated. However, I’m going to tell you how we’ve done in an exaggerated story for your enjoyment. It all started with Brock Suzik. Driving down Pine Tree Parkway after a night of partying with his best friend Mickey Good and the goody-two-shoes, Jamie Ashman. A worried and pregnant woman Rene Bennett is driving in the opposite direction. Her car goes into a ditch, her baby dies, and she is paralyzed everywhere except for her eyes. Did Brock do this heinous crime? Or did Rene do it on her own? It’s up to the Priory Mock Trial team to contradict itself continuously when doing both sides, making American justice THEIR justice. There are six witnesses for each c a s e , t h r e e f o r e a c h s i d e . T h e prosecution has Sydney Saccharin (Me) the medical expert, Lee Morgan (Peter Jochens) the police officer, and Jamie Ashman (Gustavo Sanchez) the straight-A student. The defense has Lyle Sanders (Me) a neuropsychologis t , Er ic Langsdorf (Henry Cordova) the accident re-constructionist, and Mickey Good (Rocky Dara), the badass who can take more than a few beers. First up on Priory Mock Trial’s “list” was Rosati Kain. As prosecution, it’s our job to make sure that justice is done. As all cases begin, Henry Cordova

began with a riveting opening that captivated everyone. Unfortunately, the opposing team leader told him to “Never do an opening ever again.” Apparently, the jury and judge that gave him a 10/10 score didn’t agree. The other lawyers, Conor Whitmore, Zach Kraus, and Xavier Bick also held up strong the whole way through. Peter Jochens played the Rosati Kain like a fiddle. Unfortunately, the team leader was crossing me. Luckily for me, I threw everything back into our face and got a

10/10. Kraus ended the beating with a stellar closing, not laying up one bit. Unfortunately, their team’s leader brought upon us the whiniest and desperate closing we will ever hope to see. A 3-0 dominant win for Priory highlighted by a victory run to Chipotle. But it’s not over yet. Next up on our list was John Paul II. This time we were contradicting everything we argued against as we switched to the defense role, because that’s how we roll. We are the law.

Anyways, JPII were no slouches. Fortunately, our lawyers (Whitmore, Sanchez, Kraus) grabbed their witnesses and put them on a cheese grater during the crosses. The witnesses (Me, Dara, Cordova) stood firm the whole way through, making them look silly. It’s unfortunate when someone is crossing me and I point out a flaw in their self prepared question. Zach Kraus put up the most inspiring and beautiful closing the world will ever witness, leaving the other team melted like a puddle. Yet another 3-0 win for Priory, another run to Chipotle. Make that 6-0, it ’s Regionals time. It’s time to get serious. Our o p p o n e n t , t h e p r o s e c u t i o n , i s Pattonville. Mind you this is the Pattonville Lions team, one of their SIX mock trial teams. It turns out, names do tell us something as they made it to Regionals unlike their other teams (I’m serious): Flying Monkeys, Tin Men, Scarecrows, Munchkins, and Winkies. It was time to take back the Lions’ courage and eat it in front of them. Our lawyers (Whitmore, Gustavo, Kraus) were as usual sharp as ever, spotting all of their mistakes and making them look more awkward than a sad clown in the rain. No one got a 7/10 or below, because we simply went hard. Unfortunately, the judge (same one from trial #2) didn’t see our way even though we had the closing with examples and reasoning in it. All you can do is slowly and deliberately put your palm on your face

The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School since 1960Volume 41, Issue 20

The RecordFriday, March 11, 2011

Trevor Jin, ’12Entertainment Writer

Priory Mock Trial UndefeatedPriory Mock Trial Defends a Stellar Reputation Advancing to Regionals Undefeated

(Continued on next page)

Friday, March 11, 2011Volume 41, Issue 20

Editorials and EntertainmentThe Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

The Record StaffEditor in Chief:! Kevin Hess ’11

Layout Editor: ! David Taiclet, ’11

Content Editors:! Jon Gower, ’11! Sam Sagartz, ’11

Faculty Moderator: ! Mr. Matthew L. Barrett

In this issue...! Sam Sagartz ’11! Tom Rich, ’11! Mr. Jacob Martin, ’11! Zach Weiss, ’11! Jon Gower, ’11! Trevor Jin, ’12! Jack O’Brien, ’12! Peter Cogan ’13! Chris McKee, ’13! Andrew Cammon, ’14! Alex Hill, ’15! Artie Hidalgo, ’15!

The Record is the official student publication of Saint Louis Priory School in St. Louis, Missouri. It is produced by student editors/staff members. Its purpose is threefold: to inform students of events in the community; to encourage discussion of local, national, and international issues; and to serve as a training ground for budding journalists, photographers, and graphic designers. The Record accepts contributions from all members o f the Pr iory community , including students, faculty, and alumni. The Record will not publish content considered legally unprotected speech, including but not limited to: libel, copyright infringement, unwarranted invasion of privacy, or material disruption of the educational process. Student editors apply professional standards to the production of the newspaper and are solely responsible for all content, both explicit and implicit. Letters to the Editors are always appreciated. Feedback not intended for publication is also welcome.

The Record Disclaimer

With the initial loss of 4 varsity wrestlers to graduation last year, the team had some giant shoes to fill (as well as weight classes!). Fortunately under the new leadership of senior captain Sean Sigillito and junior captains James Merenda and Zach LaVallee, we were ready to do just that. The team also had a larger influx than usual of freshmen this year, two of whom managed to crack the varsity line-up! The line-up for the duration of the s e a s o n w a s a s follows: 112lbs:Zach L a V a l l e e ( ‘ 1 2 ) ; 1 1 9 l b s : D e r e k Swaney (’14); 125lbs: Nick Russon (’12); 1 3 0 l b s : D r e w C a l l a h a n ( ’ 1 4 ) ; 135lbs: Van Thomas (’12); 140lbs: James M e r e n d a ( ’ 1 2 ) ; 145lbs: Sean Sigillito (’11); 152lbs: Zach Behnen (’12); 160lbs: Nicky Sarai (’12); 171lbs: Tom Rich (’11); 189lbs: Khaliq Snow (’13); and 285lbs: Francis Cassidy (’11). From the first practice, it was apparent that this team was ready for all the trials, victories, and defeats that the season would bring.

W r e s t l i n g p r a c t i c e b e g a n immediately after the conclusion of all of the fall sports. While all other wrestlers are still struggling with their lack of conditioning in this part of the season, the Wrastlin’ Rebels excel. This particularly showed early in the season such as when they defeated their rivals from

Brentwood in a dual meet that was won handily 38-30. From that point until the rest of the season, the Rebels had a very impressive dual meet record. Losing only 4 dual meets out of a total of 11, we have truly shown great improvement from last year. The Rebels also had great success in the tournament scene this year, with individual wrestlers placing 1st, 2nd and 3rd in numerous tournaments. Notably, the Wrastlin’ Rebels placed 2nd in their own tournament for the second year in a row, and also beat out league rival Principia for 2nd place in the

ABC League for the first time in many years. And for the second time in ten years they had a state qualifier (Drew Callahan ’14) make the journey to Columbia, Missouri to prove his mettle.Priory wrestling is all about one thing: the sense of camaraderie. Ask any boy what they love the most about the wrestling team and they will always answer the same. The sense of family these boys share is truly inspiring.

They become brothers. In our own day and age, people avoid pain at all costs. But these boys somehow come together as a team and fight through it, knowing that each of them is going through the same thing. It is in this way that they inspire one another to really push themselves and to win.

All in all, Priory wrestling is no longer an “up-and-coming” sport. That would imply that it is still in the works. It is back, stronger than ever, and together the Rebels are ready to take on the numerous

seasons to come in the future.

Priory Wrestling Season RecapTom Rich, ’11

Sports Writer

and shake your head in disgust. A 2-1 win for Priory, good enough. On our way to Chipotle, Zach Kraus described out situation perfectly, “I’m getting tired of winning. Seriously, can’t we just mix it up by losing every once in a while? Why can we not lose???” Because we’re Priory Mock Trial.

Mock Trial Cont’d

I love every single lunch that our fine cafeteria serves. Chef Gill regularly rocks my taste buds, and if any of you saw the opener for the Battle of the Bands last Saturday, you know that guy can rock. However, those piping hot meals don’t always go over so well with the rest of the student body. Underclassmen have no choice but to make themselves a PB&J every time a bad lunch comes around, and seniors know that going out for lunch too often can be a real drain on their personal finances. That is why I, Zachary W.R. Weiss, feel I should use the enormous influence this column gives me to share my helpful hints on how to get through the tougher, soggier, leaner, meaner, and overall less appetizing lunches at school. If you’re wondering what qualifies me to do this, I can assure you of my credentials. Many professional and amateur chefs have referred to me as, “beyond all hope.” I’ve already exceeded their expectations, so sit back, relax, and allow me to exceed yours. Step 1: Put Hot Sauce on Everything. This is a popular, straightforward measure that is surprisingly versatile. Priory’s hot sauce has a mild, vinegary flavor that is never too overpowering, and like any decent hot sauce it can really bring the heat if you put enough on. As previously stated, it works on just about anything. Don’t like the hearty beef stew? Put some hot sauce on it. Does chicken fried steak have too much fried and not enough chicken steak? Again, hot sauce is the answer. Maybe you just need a little extra something to slide down those fish sliders. Hot sauce is there for you. Step 2: Make Things into Sandwiches That Weren’t Sandwiches Before. I cannot recommend this move highly enough, it

combines the warmth of the hot meal with the options of the sandwich bar. Why do mashed potatoes have to be a side when they’d be even more delicious between two pieces of bread, some American cheese and twelve slices of bologna? You know what would make that thing taste even better? Hot sauce.

Step 3: Have you considered Hot Sauce?


The Weekly UpdateThe Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory High School

Weekly Calendar

Wednesday, 3/16/2011

• Senior Retreat

Thursday, 3/17/2011

• St. Patrick’s Day

Friday, 3/11/2011

Saturday, 3/12/2011

Monday, 3/14/2011

• Senior Retreat

Tuesday, 3/15/2011

• Senior Retreat

Lorem Ipsum

Zach Weiss, ’11Editorial Writer

Weekly Lunches

Monday, 3/14

Sweet and Sour Chicken over Rice

Tuesday, 3/15

Hot Dog

Wednesday, 3/16

Szechwan Meatballs

Thursday, 3/17

Bowl of Chili

Friday, 3/18

Pasta con Broccoli

PuzzlesThe Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School


Crossword Puzzle

Sudokus

HARD

EASY

Cryptogram

- Charlie Sheen

Want to see your favorite comic strip featured in the Record? Please talk to David Taiclet or email the Record at

[email protected].

mailto:[email protected]



SportsThe Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

The Cardinals began Spring Training in 2011 with a crushing loss. Without Adam Wainwright , the Redbirds, as many analysts have said, have gone from the favorites to win the NL Central to a merely average team. In spite of this, Tony LaRussa insists the season is not entirely in the bag. With seasoned stars such as Lance Berkman, Matt Holliday, Chris Carpenter, and of course, Albert Pujols, the Cardinals indeed have a chance to make a run for the playoffs. It will come down to the performance of several young players, such as David Freese, Jaime Garcia, Tyler Greene, Jon Jay, and Allen Craig, who are looking to fill the gaps in the batting order and the rotation. Colby Rasmus in particular will need to step up in 2011, and Kyle McClellan will have a great chance to make a name for

himself as a starter in Wainwright’s absence. Finally, additions such as Ryan Theriot and Berkman need to make an

immediate impact in the lineup. 2011 Cardinals Batting Order:

1- 2B Skip Schumaker2- CF Colby Rasmus3- 1B Albert Pujols4- LF Matt Holliday5- RF Lance Berkman6- 3B David Freese7- C Yadier Molina8- SS Ryan Theriot

Rotation:

1. R Chris Carpenter2. L Jaime Garcia3. R Jake Westbrook4. R Kyle Lohse5. R Kyle McClellan

Cardinal’s Season Preview

Sam Sagartz, ’11Content Editor

Well, its spring again, and with spring comes the glorious sport many have come to know as golf. So, in order to familiarize the school with the team that will be representing the school in State this year, it would be in everyone’s benefit to continue reading. Leading the team this year are 4 veteran seniors, headed by several time state qualifier, Mason Meiners. Behind Mason are the ever-consistent Peter Jochens, Clayton Petti, and Dan Hogan. The Juniors come

in with 6 very viable Varsity players, headed by District duo Colin Kopsky and Matt Finneran. However, it is to be noted that the other four, Clay Swanger, Nick Russon, Reid LaVenture, and Jack O'Brien have all had Varsity experience, and any one of them are poised to make a r u n . T h e s o p h o m o r e s , b e i n g u n d e r c l a s s m e n , h a v e f e w e r representatives, but can still play just as well. Headlined by last year's upstart and more-than-likely high Varsity player Andrew Fogarty, the sophomores also boast Brandon Boyer who also earned Varsity time last year. Finally, in the Freshman class, dark horse Eric Stange has great

potential to be this year's Andrew Fogarty. All-in-all, the Golf team will be headed by 4 strong Seniors, and has 13 very feasible Varsity starters. It will be a dog-fight to see who will make League, District, and very possibly, Sectional, and State rosters, so be ready for a great season off Priory Golf.

Authors note: Can we please have 1 fan? It would be nice. We accept actual students, boisterous parents, teachers, ailing grandparent, and the undead.

Thanks for your support.

Golf Season Preview

Jack O’Brien, ’12Sports Writer

EntertainmentThe Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School


1. Jared Sullinger- Ohio State Forward (17.1 ppg)He leads the top team in the country into the NCAA tourney, and he’s only a freshman. He can take control of the game, and the opposition runs their whole defensive scheme in attempt to slow him down, often leaving the skillful Buckeye shooters wide open.

2. Jacob Pullen- Kansas State Guard (19.6 ppg)He has shown himself to be a leader, as was obvious in K-State’s wins against Texas, Missouri, and Kansas. He can get those much needed buckets in the clutch.

3. Marcus Morris- Kansas Forward (17.3 ppg)The combination of his power on offense and his experience with the Jayhawks makes him a valuable player. He has seen it all in the NCAA tourney and is ready to take KU to the final four.

4. JaJuan Johnson- Purdue Forward/Center (20.5 ppg)His power and ability to finish, as well as his presence on defense make him one of the top centers in college hoops.

5. Jimmer Fridette- BYU Guard (27.9 ppg)His talent at stroking the ball from beyond the arc and effortlessly scoring points makes him someone you want your defense to have their eyes on all game.

6. Ben Hansbrough- Notre Dame Guard (18.5 ppg)He can penetrate, dish it, and knock down three’s all day long. He leads the Irish towards a deep run in the NCAA tourney, and he will do well; it’s in his blood. He is the most competitive player on the floor regardless who the Irish are playing.

7. Kyle Singler- Duke Forward (17.1 ppg)Singler can finish better than any other forward in the ACC and his step-back three makes him a deadly weapon and almost impossible to defend.

8. Kemba Walker- UCONN Guard (23.1 ppg)He can penetrate the lane better than anybody else, but has trouble against a zone because he can’t shoot consistently from downtown.

9. LaceDarius Dunn- Baylor Guard (19.8 ppg)Bunn is the clear leader of a Baylor team that is on the bubble heading into the Big 12 Conference tournament, and his offensive talents might power Baylor past some tough opponents.

10. John Leuer- Wisconsin Forward (19.0 ppg)John and Wisconsin are both underrated and will be able to surprise anyone in the NCAA tourney.

On this day in 1927, the Flatheads Gang committed the first ever armored car robbery. Paul Jaworski, a recent escapee from prison, masterminded the heist. Newspapers reported that the gang had tunneled under the roadway that the armored cars would travel and planted charges 30 feet apart. They had then run wires to a battery in a tree stump located in a field 100 yards away from the road. The gang detonated the charges from this tree stump. Upon the detonation, one armored car was hit directly and thrown some 75 feet into the air, reportedly landing on its roof. The second car narrowly missed the explosion of the second charge, but was still thrown on its side. While all the guards of the money were knocked unconscious by the force of the explosion, the solid construction of the two armored cars prevented any injury. One guard did regain consciousness quickly enough to catch sight of the license plate of the gang’s getaway vehicle. The gang had cut the telephone lines surrounding the site of the robbery, thereby delaying the police response. However, the police did finally arrive and, working on the plate number and a vague description of the gang members, were able to trace the robbers to Bentleyville (15 miles from the scene of the robbery). Then, however, the case went cold for quite a while, and the gang members were not found or convicted. The two armored cars contained approximately $104,000 ($1.2 million today). This sum of money (all insured) was being transported to mine number 8 of the Pittsburgh Terminal Coal Company, and the robbers got away with it all. Later, the police tracked down Jaworski and made and an arrest. However, the man escaped from prison for a second time. Finally, authorities apprehended him in Cleveland, Ohio, and he was extradited to Pennsylvania for trial. Despite the arrest of Paul Jaworski, this robbery, the first of its kind, was largely successful.

Peter Cogan, ’13Sports Writer

Andrew Cammon, ’14Entertainment Writer

Best NCAA Hoops Players Trend Club Hosts Mean Event

Priory UpdatesJunior Schoolers, this column is dedicated to you. It brings you sports updates, variousopinions, and other important events. This week in sports, the 8th grade soccer teamwill play their first game on Sunday, September 12 at 1:15 at Priory. The 8th grade football players have just started practicing with full pads. We look like we’re ready to beat Vianney in our first game on Saturday, September 18th at 9 AM at Priory.

Now the important stuff – The Junior School Mixer! On Friday, October 8th at 7:00 inthe Multi-purpose Gym we will have our first mixer of the year. Bring all your lady friends!

Miscellaneous And now, the top five English Premier league teams:1 – Chelsea2 – Arsenal3 – Manchester United4 – Aston Villa5 – BoltonI’ll have you know that I, Alex Hill, am a die-hard Arsenal fan. If you have anythingto say about that, come find me, and I’ll tell you in person why the Arsenal is the mostamazing team ever.

Enough from my colleague, I am Artie Hidalgo - a person who believes that realfootball goes by a secondary name of PIGSKIN! This week in the NFL, my personalchoice of game of the week is the New Orleans Saints versus the Minnesota Vikings, a rematch of the NFC Championship game last year. It will be an epic Quarterback battle.Watch It! And one other thing, I am trying to form a Priory swim team/club. If you haveany interest, contact me!

Well, there you have it Gentlemen, the Junior School Update Column! If you have anyideas or suggestions, talk to either of us.

iTunes Top 10

1. On the Floor! Jennifer Lopez2. Till the World Ends! Brittney Spears3. Born This Way! Lady Gaga4. S&M! Rihanna5. E.T. feat Kanye West! Katy Perry6. Landslide! Glee Cast7. Blow! Ke$ha8. I Need a Doctor! Dr. Dre9. Perfect! P!nk10. Rolling in the Deep! Adele

Top 10Chiddy Bang Songs

1. Opposite of Adults

2. Truth

3. Eff You (Remix)

4. Dream Chasin

5. Danger Zone

6. Never

7. Fresh Like Us

8. Now u Know

9. All Things Go

10. Slow Down

! -Young Ivory

Alex Hill, ’15, Artie Hidalgo, ’15

Staff Writers

Junior School Column

Clearly the loss of starter Adam Wainwright is a huge blow to the 2011 Cardinals. In 2010, the righty finished the season with 20 wins and an ERA of 2.42. After the 2010 season, he finished second in Cy Young voting for the second year in a row and has been regarded by many as the best pitcher in the league for the last few years. On February 24th, the Cardinals announced that Wainwright's season would be over due to a ligament injury to his right elbow. The injury required Tommy John surgery, preformed by Dr. George Paletta father of George Jr. in Form II. The procedure will put the starter out for the entire season. Although a crushing blow to the team's World Series chances in 2011, the procedure is becoming incredibly common around the MLB these days. In the current Cardinal's rotation, four out of five starters have undergone the surgery at some point in their career. Chris Carpenter in 2007, Jamie Garcia and Jake Westbrook in 2008, and now Adam Wainwright in 2011. This would have been unheard of 20 years ago. Back then, Tommy John marked the end of a career. Now it is common for pitchers to come back even stronger than before after having their ligament replaced and strengthened. The ulnar collateral ligament in the elbow is replaced with a tendon from elsewhere in the body, usually a tendon in the forearm or somewhere in the leg. This gives the arm a brand new strong ligament. With new developments in the procedure, now pitchers often return after rehab with more velocity than before. However disappointing, the Cardinals coaches and doctors are confident Adam will be able to regain his dominant form in the 2012 season.

Go Cards!

Chris McKee, ’13Sports Writer

No Worries for Wainwright


EntertainmentThe Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

For those of you who didn't wait in line, Pokemon Black/White came out for the Nintendo DS last Sunday. Similar to the previous 17 games, these two games are the best games currently for sale. The biggest changes introduced in these games are the new Pokemon (obviously), the incredible graphics, and the plot, making for a smoother and quicker route to catch em all. Pokemon Black/White is the largest selling game in Pokemon history, showing that the series is not only retaining old fans, but also drawing in new ones. In Japan, over 2.6 millions copies were sold in the first two days, shattering the previous first week record. Over 1 million were sold on the first day in the US, nearly doubling the previous record in the US. 153 new Pokemon have been introduced, bringing the grand total to 649. Because they are new, the game is more interesting to play, because every battle is different than any you have ever had before. Not only do they look awesome(and by awesome I sometimes

mean stupid and dumb), but the new battle system allows you to see them from many different angles, zooming and rolling to highlight a specific portion of the screen in those intense battle moments. The battle screen wasn't the only graphical improvement however. You would no longer recognize the Pokemon world after the intense overhaul. The character no longer looks like a ball with arms and legs, but an actual human with a legitimate running style. The buildings have a realistic look, and there is a particularly intense scene on a bridge where a train is continuously passing underneath. Finally, Team Plasma (the new and improved Team Rocket) are actually a prevalent part in the game. They don't just sit in a warehouse waiting for their boss to lose, but they actually challenge you throughout the game. The gym leaders also play a role in the plot other than challenging the occasional passerby. The new triple and rotation style battles put a more strategic spin on things. Overall, the game better than ever, but it is still similar enough that if

you are sick of Pokemon, it probably won't win you back.

The RecordThe Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School


THE RECORD - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School 500 S. Mason Road, Creve Coeur, MO 63141 314.434.3690 ext. 221 [email protected]

Editor in Chief: Kevin H. Hess, ’11 Layout Editor: David J. Taiclet, ’11 Content Editors: Jon P. Gower, ’11, Sam J. Sagartz, ’11 Moderator: Matthew L. Barrett

Gent lemen, l a d i e s , f i r s t a n d foremost I’d just like

to get this out of the way. You know what really grinds my face? Asphalt. There, now calm down. You know you were thinking it, and you know you’re incredibly unfunny. Anyway, I’m extremely worried at the moment. You see, the ground recently did what no man has been able to do: it shed my blood. Now, bleeding’s a pretty common thing for most people, but not me. I once skipped across the razor meadows of Angmar and climbed the chainsaw trees of the Secret Amazon without spilling a drop of (my) blood. And so what concerns me is this: with my blood

now in its gritty little crags, I fear the Priory parking lot may try to

clone me. Not only that, but it will train that clone to be evil and rather ruin my weekend. While there is certainly nothing the clone could do to harm me, I fear I also may be unable to harm it. With a deadly and dangerous doppelganger running around, not even my alliteration could stop him. Any encounters we would

have would be like some sort of unending battle, just as the duel of the immortals in the first Pirates movie. Like two ninjas fighting a bear, it would be entertaining to watch, but also unending. I must take every precaution I can. I must find the parking lot’s cloning facility. I must stop this corruption of myself from ever coming into being. While some may call me a hero for this, I say, “Nay, you shan’t call me a hero, as the only bandages in my house have Hello Kitty on them, and I’m not willing to drive

and buy new ones.”

Cat MurderMr. Jacob Martin, ’11Weekly Editorial Writer

Pokemon Black/White

Jon Gower, ’11Content Editor



Documents

Friday, March 11, 2011