Gender Communication

Gender CommunicationGender CommunicationHow to Reduce BarriersHow to Reduce Barriers

FacilitatorFacilitator

Victoria Wors, SPHRBBA and MS in Human Resources Management

Certified Birkman Method® Consultant

Human Resources Professional with numerous years in various industries and working with different levels and cultures.

Currently consultant to small and mid-sized businesses to improved communications within teams and between specific individuals using the Birkman Assessment tool

Retained Human Resources Consultant to Premiere Employee Services, a St. Louis PEO

Wors Consulting, LLC All Rights Reserved 2009

Introduction

Communication Between Genders

Examples of Male vs. Female Styles

Non-Verbal Communication Barriers

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2

3

4


IntroductionIntroduction

The fact is, women and men tend to have vastly different communication styles - styles that often cause more friction than fraternity.


Communication Between Genders

Female Offended

Male Frustrated

Male BareFacts

Female Collaborative

Different Receptors


Women generally adopt a collaborative communication style i.e. like to get input from others, talk about ideas out loud and ensure that everyone is on the same page when it comes to a project.

Female Communication Style


Men, on the other hand, don't need to have everyone on board. e.g. 'If you're not on the bus, get off the bus”. Command and control.

Male Communication


The Differences between Men and Women:

How the sexes handle the same situation in very different ways using

4 examples.

Exploring Case Studies


Michael, Rob, Amy and Christina are in a business meeting discussing an effective approach for their latest project. During the meeting, Michael and Rob's interaction becomes noticeably heated. The two women immediately wish to calm the dispute and become very uncomfortable during the exchange

Example #1 GOALS: People/process vs. Tasks/results


Women: Women's thought process works like a web: everything is interconnected. When it comes to a project, the people and the process are just as important as the end result. Amy and Christina were concerned with Michael and Rob, and how the group was arriving at its conclusion.

Men: Men, on the other hand, are more task-oriented and fixated on the end result; the process is less important to them as long as the result is adequate. Michael and Rob's heated discussion had nothing to do with their relationship. It was merely a way for them to hash out a conclusion.

Group Dynamic


Resulting Clash: Men become annoyed with women's tendency to discuss everything related to a project as a means of finding a solution. On the flip side, women become very concerned when coworkers clash.

Resulting Clash:


Recognize the differences for what they are and figure out what style(s) work best for the individual situation and group dynamic.

Solution


Michael and Amy are working together on a project, as are Rob and Christina. The problem is that Michael and Christina are always late and never offer input. Amy tells her boss, "This simply isn't fair. I'm getting overworked and he isn't doing anything." Rob tells his boss, "Christina is consistently 2 hours late, and I had to take on her responsibilities AND mine."

Example #2: Feelings vs. Facts


Women: Women focus on feelings. Amy told her boss how she felt regarding the situation. Essentially, she stuck to value judgments.

Men: Men focus on facts. Rob told his boss the concrete realities of the situation and remained objective.

Group Dynamic


Men consider feelings irrelevant in the workplace, so they become confused and/or frustrated when a woman airs grievances that have emotional foundations.

Resulting Clash


When it comes to work, stick to the facts. Your co-worker might have made you feel taken advantage of, but your boss can only correct concrete problems.

Solution


During a weekly scheduling meeting, Amy's boss gives her a new assignment and explains the project. Amy asks several questions to clarify the purpose of the project and make sure she understands the tasks. Rob steals a look at the clock and gives a subtle sigh. The boss then turns to Rob with a different assignment. After hearing the explanation, Rob nods and the meeting continues.

Example #3 Questions: Asking vs. Withholding


Women: "Women ask questions to gather information. It's how they attack problems and come up with solutions." Amy asked questions because she felt it would improve her performance on the job and prevent communication problems from arising down the line.

Men: Men, on the other hand, talk to give information. They do not think aloud, sharing nascent ideas, but think to themselves until they have developed plan of action. What's more, Rob was actually annoyed that Amy asked so many questions.

Group Dynamic


Men view questions as a sign of weakness and assume the questioning coworker to be incompetent. On the other hand, "women assume that men know exactly what they're doing because they don't ask questions,”

Why the Resulting Clash?


Do what is needed to accomplish the task. If you ask 20 questions upfront and turn out a stellar result, there won't be anyone questioning your competency

Solution


Michael and Christina's assignment is to create a print ad for the company's new product. During brainstorming, Christina says, "I don't know how much you'll like this idea, but maybe we could use a light blue background." Michael considers this and says, "A white background will make it look cleaner."

Example #4 Talking: Weak Language vs. Direct Language


http://www.kptv.com/education/11434884/detail.html

Women: Women often discredit themselves in speech through disclaimers, such as Christina's. Weak language also includes tag lines ("That's a big success, don't you think?" or "That doesn't look right, does it?") and modifiers ("I'm just thinking..." or "Hopefully we can...").

Men: Men tend to be more direct when they talk. "They cut to the chase”. Notice how Michael didn't use any tag lines or modifiers to undermine his idea. He spoke with confident authority.

Group Dynamic


When women use weak language, men view them as weak employees. Her lack of confidence is as a danger to accomplishing the task.

Why the Clash?


Eliminate weak language from your vocabulary. Period.

Solution


Bridging additional barriers of communication in the workplaceBridging additional barriers of communication in the workplace

1.Getting InterruptedSolution: Take control.Say: "Excuse me, I wasn't finished," or "Just a minute, I'm still talking.“

2. Someone takes credit for your idea. Solution: Correct that coworker!Say: "I just said that a second ago," or "Thank you for reiterating my point."


Bridging additional barriers of communication in the workplaceBridging additional barriers of communication in the workplace

3. You have to critique someone else’s work

Solution: Forget the fancy talk. Be direct. Say: "This section doesn't accomplish what we need it to."


Non-Verbal Communication, What Your Behaviors Say About YouNon-Verbal Communication, What Your Behaviors Say About You

Communication isn't only about speaking. In fact, your movements and presentation can actually speak volumes.


Check for these Non-VerbalsCheck for these Non-Verbals

Nodding: Women nod to show that they understand something - "I see." Men interpret nodding as concurrence - "I agree." Too much nodding causes communication clashes.

Smiling: Women smile more than men do, as a part of their expressive nature. So what's the problem? A woman is more likely to be interrupted if she's smiling.


Check for these Non-VerbalsCheck for these Non-Verbals

Posture: Sometimes, women engage in weak body posture, such as a limp handshake, shoulder shrugging and averting the eyes. Men make more eye contact and stand tall, which projects a stronger visual image. Clothing: Speaking of visual images, make sure you're dressed professionally and look the part. Professionally attractive is much preferred over provocatively adorned.


Contact Victoria Wors [email protected]

Documents

Gender Communication