General Session: Creative Communication Tips for a Commoditized World Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Chris Stroud, MSPA, MAAA, EA, Principal

Simoneaux & Stroud Consulting Services (SCS)

Communication Challenge

“The single biggest problem in

communication

is the illusion that it has taken place.”

- George Bernard Shaw,

author

Goals of Today‟s Session

To increase awareness of good and bad communication styles

To understand the difference between positive and negative language

To provide techniques to improve written communications

To offer communication tips and techniques to help you handle common situations more effectively

We‟re All Marketers Now! Touchpoints: The Customer “Journey”

“Customer experience is the sum total of all contact points,

interactions, transactions, and encounters between a customer

and a company, its brands, and its various product and service

offerings over a determined period of time.” (Flip the Funnel)

Why Customers Get Upset

Someone was rude

Someone was

indifferent

No one listened

No one cared

Expectations were not met

Did You Know…?

When customers receive good service:

• They tell an average of 4-5 people.

When customers receive bad service:

• They tell an average of 9-12 people.

Top two reasons given for why companies lose customers:

• Attitude or indifference on the part of the service provider (68%)

• Dissatisfied with product (14%)

Habits

"We are what we repeatedly do.

Excellence is not an act...it's a habit.“

(Aristotle)

Three Dimensions of Communication

Words(7%)

Tone(38%)

Bodylanguage(55%)

Communication Skills for Today‟s Discussion

Active listening

Using positive language

Mastering the written word

Asking the right questions

Handling difficult situations

Skill: Active Listening

• Listen to the client‟s opening statement.

• Jot down (or input) name and key points.

• Listen without interrupting.

• Give the other person your full attention. (Do not begin crafting your next statement while they are still talking.)

• Repeat phrases and acknowledge. Listen between the lines.

Skill: Using Positive Language

"Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts

become your words.

Keep your words positive because your words

become your behavior.

Keep your behavior positive because your behavior

becomes your habits.

Keep your habits positive because your habits

become your values.

Keep your values positive because your values

become your destiny."

- Mahatma Gandhi

Positive vs. Negative Language

Positive language:

• Focuses on what can be done;

• Suggests alternatives;

• Sounds helpful and encouraging rather than bureaucratic;

• Stresses positive actions and positive consequences.

Negative language:

• Focuses on what can’t be done;

• Can have a subtle tone of blame;

• Can sound like a command;

• Demonstrates an unwillingness to help and offers no options;

• Is memorable.

Think Positive!

Negative Positive

Keep off the grass! Please walk on the pathways.

Don‟t yell! Please use your inside voice.

Don‟t pull the cat‟s tail! Please pet the cat nicely…like this.

Don‟t touch! Please look with your eyes and keep

your hands in your pockets.

Don‟t forget to send in your… Please remember to send in your…

Sometimes negatives are OK for impact:

“Don’t Drive Drunk!” is better than “Drive Sober”

Changing Negative Messages into Positive Ones

We regret to inform you that we cannot complete your new

plan documents, since you have neglected to provide

sufficient information. Please complete ALL sections of the

attached form and return it to us as soon as possible.

Congratulations on your new business.

To complete your new plan documents, we need some additional

information from you. Please return the attached form, with the

highlighted areas filled in, and we will be able to complete your

plan documents within one week of receipt.

We wish you success in your new endeavor.

Positive Words

Be sure your messages include positive words like these,

used sincerely:

value benefit enjoy pleasure pleased

inspire enhance please thank you agree

appreciate profit feel free saving honor

help you assist you are welcome admire

like glad delighted generous happy

Using Positive or Neutral Statements

WORDS TO AVOID: (“trigger words”)

• No…

• I’ll try…

• That’s not our policy…

• That’s not my job…

• You can’t…

• I have no idea…

• You have to…

• You need to…

• You must…

WORDS TO SAY: (positive or neutral statements)

• Here are some options…

• I will…

• Here’s what I can do…

• Let’s see what we can do…

• I’m confident that we can…

• I’ll find out…

• The best thing for you to do is…

• What works well is to...

• …< > will be required.

The “NO” Sandwich (“Needs Options”)

“What I will do is…”

“What you can do is…”

Other Ways to Say “NO”

• Can you tell me more about the time commitment? I just don‟t think I have the time right now.

Time

• I‟d love to be asked at another time. Can I have a rain check on that? Rain check

• Have you thought about asking Susie – I think she‟d be great at this task. Alternative

• I know how important this is to you, but I‟m not in a position to say yes (right now). Concern

• I only have 5 minutes right now. Is that enough time or should we reschedule? Limitation

Avoid Negative Phrases and Connotations

• “I‟m afraid that I can‟t attend that meeting.”

• “To be honest, I‟m not sure what time the

meeting starts.”

• “He is always late to meetings.”

• “I‟m only her assistant, so I don‟t have that

information.”

• “If it‟s not too much trouble, I wonder if you

could help me with this report.”

• “I don‟t tell stories very well, but...”

The Problem with “Not a Problem”

Appropriate positive responses to “Thank you.”

• You are (very) welcome.

• My pleasure.

• Glad to help.

• We are always happy to assist you.

• Certainly!

• Thank you for…

Just Say “Yes”

SURE YES

Avoid “Yes, but…”

• Avoid “Yes, but…” Instead, use “and” or a full stop.

• Negative: I like the sound of your letter, but there are a

number of spelling mistakes.

• Positive:

I like the sound of your letter, and if you run spell

check, it should correct the few errors that I noted.

or

I like the sound of your letter. If you run spell check,

it should correct the few errors that I noted.

Praise is Best when Specific and Timely

• “Thank you for…”

• “What makes you great to work with is…”

• “It’s clear you put a lot of time and thought into this

___ because…”

• “When you did ___ , it made my job easier

because…”

• “I appreciate how you consistently go out of your way

to…”

• “Sam, did you hear about the great job Sarah did…”

Remember: Giving praise doesn’t cost a single dollar!

The Gift of Constructive Feedback

Criticism is a valuable gift. But, to be viewed as such, it must be properly wrapped and sensitively presented.

It is kinder to be gently direct than to be cruelly silent.

Remember: Criticism done the right way is helpful.

Adverse judgments are hurtful.

Constructive Feedback: Past (Negative) vs. Future (Positive)

“You really didn’t prepare enough for that meeting. You were not able to answer the client’s questions, and you didn’t even know where to look in the file to find the answers.”

“The next time we have a client meeting, you will

be able to handle the questions better if you do

some extra preparation ahead of time. It will help

to familiarize yourself with everything in the file

and anticipate the types of questions the client

might ask.”

SIx Steps to Making Positive Language a Habit

1) Review everything you write.

2) Think before you speak.

3) Monitor your own speech.

4) Monitor the words of others.

5) Surround yourself by positive people.

6) Don‟t try to eliminate negative words from

your vocabulary completely.

The Client‟s Perspective

A Positive Work Environment

Foster open, honest communication. (Ask the right questions

and provide the right information.)

“Own” any problem that comes to you.

Accept follow-ups gracefully and keep other parties informed.

Respect others‟ workloads.

Be responsive to requests.

Never “assume.”

Skill: Mastering the Written Word

“If I had more time,

I would have written you a shorter letter.”

- Mark Twain,

author

Actual Customer Email

To date we have not received any signed documents

back for Mr. Smith’s plan.

ABC Trust has informed us they will be closing

Mr. Smith’s account at the end of the month if we

don't get their Custodial Agreement signed and to

them before that time.

Please send all the documents back to us as

soon as possible. Thank you for your prompt

attention in this manner.

Actual Customer Email

I hope all is well with you these days and that business

is flourishing.

Please let me know if the assets in your 401(k) plan were

below the $250,000.00 threshold as of December 31,

2010. This information is extremely important, because if

you were a ‘one participant plan’ and the balance was

below $250,000, the plan will be exempt from filing the

2010 return.

If you have any questions at all, please feel free to

call me any time.

Written Communication Techniques

Checklists and bullets

What’s ahead?

Inverted pyramid

Reasons, not rules

Technique: What‟s Ahead?

Re: Annual Valuation Report for ABC Corporation 401(k) Profit Sharing Plan and

Trust for Plan Year Ended December 31, 2010

We are happy to present to you the Annual Valuation Report for the ABC Corporation

401(k) Profit Sharing Plan for the plan year ended December 31, 2010.

In this transmittal, you will find the following:

• A CD ROM containing your Annual Valuation Report

• Hard copy documents, including the Form 5500 Series, Summary Annual

Report and Participant Statements

• A summary of each item, with applicable deadlines and document

distribution requirements

• Administrative notes containing important information about your plan

To ensure the best possible service for your plan, please review the following summary

and enclosed materials immediately upon receipt and advise us if you believe that there is

any error or omission. The Plan Administrator (usually the Employer) is ultimately

responsible for the accuracy of the annual valuation report and the annual return.

Technique: Inverted Pyramid

Enclosed are the following items for the ABC Corporation 401(k) Profit Sharing Plan and

Trust for the plan year ending 12/31/2010:

• Annual Valuation Report in electronic format on the enclosed CD;

• Annual Return (Form 5500) for your signature and filing with the government;

• Summary Annual Report (SAR); and

• Participant Certificates.

The important deadlines to note are as follows:

Annual return – mail before 7/31/2011

Summary Annual Report (SAR) and Participant Statements – distribute prior to

10/15/2011

To ensure the best possible service for your plan, please review this information

immediately upon receipt and advise us if you believe that there is any error or

omission. The Plan Administrator (usually the Employer) is ultimately responsible for the

accuracy of the annual valuation report and the annual return.

<page 2>

THE VALUATION REPORT …

Technique: Reasons, Not Rules (WIIFM)

THE VALUATION REPORT AND ANNUAL RETURN

THE VALUATION REPORT

Enclosed is the Annual Valuation Report for the ABC Corporation 401(k) Profit Sharing Plan

for the plan year ended December 31, 2010, together with the annual return (Form 5500) to

be filed with EBSA, an agency of the federal government. To ensure the best possible

service for your plan, please review this report immediately upon receipt and advise

us if you believe that there is any error or omission. The Plan Administrator (usually the

Employer) is ultimately responsible for the accuracy of the annual valuation report and the

annual return.

ANNUAL RETURN (FORM 5500 SERIES)

We have prepared the enclosed annual return/report (Form 5500 series) for signature and

filing by the Employer/Plan Sponsor with the federal government. Please advise us of any

changes so that we may prepare a revised original for your filing. The annual return should

be signed electronically by an authorized official of the Employer. In order to avoid

expensive penalties, please e-sign the return on or before the deadline of 7/31/2011.

Information Requests

HOW • How would they like you to communicate with them?

WHAT • Be clear in defining exactly what you need from the client.

WHY • Tell them why you need it.

WHEN • Tell them when you need it and what the next steps are.

WIIFM • Give them the “WIIFM.” (What‟s in it for me?)

+ • If appropriate, add a personalized comment.

Email: A Love-Hate Relationship?

Words(7%)

Tone(38%)

Bodylanguage(55%)

Email Etiquette “Rules” of Thumb (or forefinger clicks)

Rule #1: Never put

anything in an email that

you wouldn’t want to

appear on the front page

of the New York Times!

Top 10 Email “Don‟ts”

DON’T:

1. Make email comments that you wouldn‟t say directly to the person.

2. Perpetuate negative or unproductive emails.

3. Type anything in ALL CAPS. (It‟s like YELLING!)

4. Criticize someone in an email to another person.

5. Don‟t reprimand by email.

6. Send email when you are emotional or use negative language in an

email.

7. Send inappropriate jokes or graphics.

8. “Reply to All” when unnecessary. (Prevent email “clutter.”)

9. Send large attachments unless necessary, especially to a large list of

people.

10. Try to be too funny, especially to a mixed audience or people you

don‟t know well.

Top 10 Email “Do‟s”

1. Re-read before you send – check grammar and tone!

2. Make sure your emails contain meaningful content.

3. Use a subject line as a headline and keep it relevant. (Change when thread

changes direction.)

4. Put questions or actions at top – not bottom. (BLUF – Bottom Line Up Front)

Ask and answer questions in line (number them) – not in a blob.

5. Use Bold sparingly for important information or to single out a person for an

action, if email is addressed to multiple people.

6. Use standard file extension names. Send a separate email alerting if you are

sending a big file.

7. Remove unnecessary attachments when forwarding.

8. Use standard signature with contact info.

9. Use “Out of Office” message when you are away.

10.Use email to make people smile. Send at least one “Thank you for…” or

“Great job on the …” each day.

“Rules of 2”

Face-

2-

Face

2 Emails

2 Calls

2 Minute Rule

Video Break

Skill: Asking the Right Questions

Six Servants

(Rudyard Kipling)

I have six faithful serving men

They taught me all I knew

Their names are What and Where and When

And Why and How and Who.

Open and Closed Questions

• Who, What, Where, When, Why & How…?

• 5 Why‟s

• Use to:

• Give control to respondent

• Allow respondent to think and reflect

• Obtain opinions and feelings

• Drill down deeper

Open

questions

• Do, Would, Are, Will, Can, May…?

• Require short answers or Yes/No

• Use to:

• Get quick facts and easy answers

• Keep control of the conversation

• Test understanding and/or agreement

• Get the conversation started

Closed

questions

Open and Closed Questions: Examples

• What did you do over the holidays?

• Where do we stand on our year-end report deadlines?

• What are the pros and cons of the situation?

• Why aren‟t people using the new software? (5 Why‟s)

• BAD: Why did you…? How could you have…?

Open

questions

• Did you have a nice vacation?

• Are you on track to meet your deadlines?

• Are we all in agreement now?

• Who from your group isn‟t using the new software?

• Are you happy with your current TPA?

Closed

questions

Funneling

• Series of closed questions followed by an open question. (Often 3 to 1 ratio)

• Use to:

• Increase interest or confidence in other person

• Get more information on a specific topic

Funneling

• "Did you meet with the client?"

• "Yes."

• “Did you have any trouble finding the office?”

• “No, I even got there ten minutes early."

• ”Who sat in on the meeting?”

• “John, Bob, and Sally – the new CFO.”

• "Did they have any questions after you finished the presentation?"

• "Actually, Bob did. He wanted to know if we'd be able to meet a March deadline for completing the conversion. I said „yes‟ and that closed the deal!"

Sample Funneling

Conversation

Probing Techniques

• “You said you were not able to enter the distribution. Can you tell me exactly what happened when you tried?”

• “Can you describe what happened next?”

Clarify or Expand

• “Is there anything else I should know?”

• “You said you tried it twice. How did the second time compare to the first?”

• “Tell me more about…” (increasing detail)

• “You said they were upset about our service. What specifically did they say?” (focus)

• “Sorry, I’m not sure I’m following you. Could you help me by giving an example?”

Accuracy and Detail

• “This process is a total waste of time.” “Please define waste of time for me.”

Define

Delivering Bad News

Skill: Handling Difficult Situations When Things Go Wrong…

Don’t procrastinate – bad news early may not be as bad.

Face reality and take responsibility.

Use apologies sparingly when something is outside of your control.

Don’t place blame.

Make sure you ultimately uncover the real reason for what went wrong.

Good Ways to Deliver Bad News

Carefully craft your first few sentences – then listen!

Choose neutral words (no “trigger” words) and a calm tone to deliver the message. Then focus on what CAN be done.

Legitimize emotions – use empathy.

Don‟t get emotional yourself – keep listening! (Don‟t take their comments personally; know your warning signs)

Reassure - give them the WIIFM.

Summarize. (Follow up in writing.)

What‟s the Lesson to be Learned?

“The measure of success is not whether you have a tough problem to deal with,

but whether it’s the same problem you had last year.”

- John Foster Dulles

Diffusing a Situation

• The brain can‟t deal with logic until anger and frustration are put aside. Accept

• Stay calm and let the customer vent.

• Give them permission to be angry, upset or frustrated.

Diffuse

• “You have every right to be angry.” (upset, frustrated, concerned, etc.) Say

• Your goal is to make them want to continue to do business with your firm. Remember

Technique: Buffers

Express appreciation

• “Thank you for being so patient and understanding.”

Make a statement that covers a point that both parties can agree on

• “I agree with you that the electronic signing of the forms can be confusing. Let’s step through it slowly.”

Compliment the client

• “I’m so sorry this happened to you – you are one of our best clients and always send us good information.”

Express understanding of the situation and the client‟s needs

• “I understand that you are leaving town and you need the report by Friday.”

Five Capabilities of Emotional Intelligence (EI or EQ) (Dan Goleman, Ph.D)

• Ability to read/understand own emotions and impact; trust intuition; honest internal view Self Awareness

• Ability to maintain self-control; be flexible, honest, optimistic; thinking before acting; embrace change

Self-Management

• Passion to work and achieve beyond money or status; defer immediate gain for long-term success Motivation

• Ability to empathize and understand social dynamics; good listener; sense what is not obvious Empathy

• Ability to find common ground and build rapport; communicators; team players; help others shine Social Skills

The World is Your Laboratory! Observe: The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly

Contact Information

Chris Stroud, MSPA, MAAA, EA

Simoneaux & Stroud Consulting Services (SCS) 165 Geranium Court

Marco Island, FL 34145

Chris.Stroud@SCS-Consultants.com

305-479-3023

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