German Wedding Customs

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German Wedding Customs

Traditional wedding customs are an important part of weddings around the globe. Eachculture has their own unique customs which make weddings meaningful and enjoyable.German weddings are rich with numerous customs which would make a wonderfuladdition to the wedding of any bride or groom with German heritage. This is a look at

many of the traditional German wedding customs.

The Hochzeitslader hasthe honor of inviting theguests to the wedding.

Many Customs TakePlace Long Before TheWedding Day

Some of the Germanwedding customs beginlong before the bride andgroom ever meet. Thereis a very old traditionthat when a baby girl isborn, her family should
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plant several trees in her honor. At the time of her engagement, the trees are cut down topay for her dowry (this old custom is probably not so widespread in modern times!).Another tradition is that before she is engaged, a young woman begins saving pennies.Those pennies will one day be used to purchase her wedding shoes (hochzeit-schuhe).This tradition is meant to ensure that the marriage will start off on the right foot. On theday of the wedding, the bride's mother puts dill and bride into her daughter's right shoefor luck.

A wonderful old Bavarian custom is the Hochzeitslader. Rather than mail out invitations,the Hochzeitslader is sent around to personally invite each guest to the wedding. Hedresses in fancy attire adorned with ribbons and flowers. As the official inviter, he goesaround the village from door to door extending a personal rhyming invitation to all on theguest list. The way that guests accept the invitation is to pin one of the ribbons from theHochzeitslader's attire onto his hat. Then they are to invite him into their homes to share adrink or two. When the guest list is long, this ritual can take a couple of days to complete!

Something else that will take place before the wedding is the junggesellenabschied, alsoknown as the bachelor party, in which the groom and his friends hit the pubs for a lastbash before he gets married.

Civil Marriages Are Required

The laws regarding marriage are different in Germany than in the United States. InGermany, as in much of Europe, a religious officiant cannot legally marry two people.The official state-sanctioned service must be performed by a justice of the peace, called astandesbeamte. The civil ceremony which makes the union legal is performed in the townRegistry office. This is generally a fairly small ceremony, attended only by the bride and

groom with their immediate family and closest friends. The bridal couple will dress well,but rather simply. It is usual for the bride to wear a simple dress to her civil ceremony,although if a larger church wedding will not follow, she may opt to wear a white weddingdress. At the conclusion of the civil ceremony, the newlyweds and their witnesses oftengo out to dinner together.

China is smashed forgood luck at the

Polterabend - the more

the better!The Polterabend BringsGood Luck

Thecivil marriageceremonyis only the beginning of the fun. German weddings traditionally span thecourse of several days, and involve lots of fun and games for all. Within a few days of themarriage at the Registry, most couples will have a large church wedding with a reception
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to follow. Before that, however, there is another tradition which occurs, the polterabend .In cultures around the globe, there are longstanding superstitions regarding the evil spiritswhich were thought to be drawn to brides. Many of the wedding customs with which weare familiar involve making noise to scare away evil spirits. In Germany, this is achievedduring the polterabend . The night before the church wedding, the bride and groom havean informal gathering with their friends, family, and neighbors. China dishes are smashedto bits, with the idea that it will bring good luck to the bride and groom. It is important tonote that only china and porcelain are used, never glass; breaking glass is considered tobe bad luck. The breaking of the china during the polterabend also symbolizes that whilesome dishes may break, the marriage never will. Once the smashing is over, the bride andgroom work together to clear away the shards, which represents how well they will worktogether as a team during their marriage.

Many couples have

church weddingsfollowing the required

civil service.

Hochzeit: Large ChurchWeddings Follow CivilCeremonies

Large church weddings(hochzeitmeanswedding) commonly

follow the small civilceremonies required byGerman law. They are inmany ways similar toAmerican church weddings, but with some clear distinctions. One main difference is thatthe bride and groom process up the aisle together. They are already officially married atthis point of course, so it would not make much sense for the bride's father to give heraway to the groom, as is customary in American weddings. Additionally, there are nobridesmaids or groomsmen processing down the aisle in a German ceremony. Somecouples may opt to have a flower girl, who will wear a pretty dress and a wreath of

flowers. The religious ceremony will often last as long as an hour and a half, and includessermons, singing, and aNuptial Massif the couple is Catholic.
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Lily-of-the-valley is apopular wedding flower.

Brutkleid (bride's attire)

and BrutigamsKleidung (groom's attire)

The typical Germanbride will wear a whitebridal gown, but longtrains are rare. Ballgownstyle wedding gownswithout trains arepopular. The over-the-topfairy princess style sought by so many American brides is not the norm in Germany.

Fingertip veils are the most common length, although floor length veils are frequentlyworn by Catholic brides. If the bride does choose to wear a veil, she will keep it on atleast through the first dance at the reception following the ceremony. Grooms wear blacksuits or tuxedos, traditionally. Popularflowers for the bride's bouquet are roses, orchids,and lilies-of-the-valley. May is an especially favored month for German weddings, whichalso happens to be the time when lilies-of-the-valley are in season. In fact, the daintywhite blossoms are called Bells of May in Germany. The bride many also carry a longlength of white ribbon with her bouquet, which serves a special purpose after theceremony. Another thing which is customary for a German bride to carry is a little saltand bread, which is intended to bring a good harvest. The groom then carries a bit ofgrain to bring good luck and wealth.

Something which is very different about German weddings from the Americanperspective is that when a couple becomes engaged, the woman does not wear a diamondengagement ring! The newlyweds wear matching simple wedding bands (eheringe) oncewed, and they are worn on the right hand, not the left. Certainly all brides like to wearspecial sets ofwedding jewelry to enhance their wedding dresses, and German brides areno exception. Another interesting wedding custom is a little game which takes placebetween the bride and groom. At some point during the church service when the couple iskneeling, the groom will intentionally kneel on the bridal gown, as a funny way of

indicating that he will wear the pants in the marriage. Before anyone takes offense atthis, one needs to know what comes next: when the couple are instructed to stand upagain, the bride will take care to step on the groom's foot, to let it be known that she willhold the upper hand!
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The traditional rice toss is an ancient symbol of fertility.

Making of aBaumkuchen.

Waltzing AndHochzeitssuppe At The

ReceptionThen it is time for thereception. Weddingreceptions in Germany are all-night parties, just as they are in much of Europe. The partybegins with the German version of the cocktail hour, during which cakes, coffee, andtortes are served. During this time, the newlyweds will have their pictures taken by thephotographer. Next comes the first dance (the hochzeitstanz, or wedding dance) for thenewlyweds, which is traditionally a waltz. Then the bride will dance with her father andthe groom will dance with his mother. After some more dancing, the party will have theirformal dinner. One traditional dish is the hochzeitssuppe, or wedding soup, which is

made of beef, dumplings, and vegetables. Of course, the beer and wine flow freely allnight long!

As in American weddings, German couples will have a special cake at their receptionwhich they cut together. The traditional Germanwedding cake is a rich nut or genoisesponge cake which is soaked in liqueur or syrup. Filled with jam, marzipan, or nougatand frosted in fondant or ganache, this is a much richer cake than the classic white cake
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which is traditional at American weddings. Something else which is very different is thatGerman wedding cakes are not made in fanciful colors to match the wedding decorations;artificial colors are considered to be very tacky on a wedding cake in Germany. Anotheroption for a German-American bride is to serve a Baumkuchen, also known as the Kingof Cakes. This is a very special and difficult to make dessert, which is why it is reservedfor special occasions like weddings. The baker creates perfectly round cake rings bybaking them on a rotisserie, before layering and frosting the confection. TheBaumkuchenis also called a Tree Cake, because the layers of golden rings look like a treewhen cut.

The traditional bridalcup.

Pranks And GamesAbound At A GermanWedding

There are many otherthings which take placeat Germanweddings.Toasting andspeeches are started bythe fathers of the brideand groom. At someweddings, the happy

couple will share a toastfrom a bridal cup calledthe brautbecher. This is aspecial crystal or pewtercup made in the form ofa maiden holding a cupover her head. The cup ison a hinge so it can swivel, and the maiden's skirt is also a cup to hold wine orChampagne. In a game called Who Rules the Nest?, the bride and groomsimultaneously drink from thebrautbecher, the bride from the cup and the groom from the

skirt. The idea of the game is that whichever person finishes their drink first will rule thenest; typically the bride wins, as her cup is smaller. It is also another good example ofteamwork, as it is not so easy for two people to drink cooperatively from the same cup atthe same time without spilling.

Other games may also take place during the reception, including one during which thebride is kidnapped by some of the guests and spirited away to a nearby pub (this mostly
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takes place only in weddings in small villages). The groom has to go and find his newwife, and when he does, he has to pay the bar tab of the kidnappers to procure herfreedom! The mischievous friends of the bride and groom also may also play pranks onthe newlyweds by doing things to their bridal suite. Many German newlyweds arrive attheir honeymoon suite after dancing at the reception until 4 or 5 am and discover that thebed has been taken apart, the room filled with balloons, or many alarm clocks hiddenaround the room. After recovering from the excitement of the wedding, most Germannewlyweds will head off on a honeymoon for a week or two to unwind and celebrate theirnew marriage.

PolterabendFrom Wikipedia, the free encyclopediaPolterabend is the term for a German wedding custom in which on the night before thewedding the guests break porcelain to bring luck to the couple's marriage. The belief inthe effectiveness is expressed by the old adage: "Shards bring luck" (German: Scherbenbringen Glck). The expression is derived from a time when the word "shard" referred tothe unbroken clay pots of pottery makers, and not just the broken pieces. It was said that afull jar was a lucky thing to have, therefore the expression "shards bring luck".Contents [hide]1 Etymology2 Event3 Origin4 Regions5 Literature[edit]Etymology

The word "Polterabend" comes from German verb poltern (making a lot of noise) + noun

Abend (evening). It's the common word used to mean a bachelor party in several otherEuropean countries.[edit]Event

The Polterabend normally takes place in front of the house of the bride (or that of herparents), although exceptions are made for space considerations, for example. The couplegenerally announces the occasion but does not specifically send out individualinvitations. Word spreads via word of mouth, and those with a desire to show up may doso. Many couples use this as a way of including people whom they are not able to inviteto the wedding itself. Something to eat and/or drink is arranged (either provided for orrequested of the guests). Oftentimes guests will bring their gifts to the Polterabend.

The actual high point of the custom is the throwing onto the ground of porcelain that hasbeen brought. However, stoneware, flowerpots or ceramics such as tiles, sinks and toiletbowls are also happily thrown items. Metal objects such as tin cans and bottle tops arebrought along to the festivities. Forbidden are glasses (glass stands for happiness thatshould not be broken) and especially mirrors (as a broken mirror will bring seven years ofbad luck). The couple must thereafter take care of cleaning up the pile of shards. This issupposed to make the couple aware that it will have to work together through difficultconditions and situations in life.


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Relatively new is the so-called Polter-wedding. In this case, the wedding is combinedwith the Polterabend, and the smashing occurs in conjunction with the wedding reception.[edit]Origin

The origin of the Polterabend is not precisely known. Some believe the Germanic tribes

who threw shards to drive off evil spirits to be the origin. Others believe the heathenritual of the shattering of clay sacrifice altars after a sacrifice to the gods to beresponsible. It is possible that the Polterabend has a psychological motive: suitors whomay have wished to have this bride for themselves have the opportunity to "let the steamout" in a socially appropriate manner, so that peace in the village could better bemaintained.[edit]Regions

The Polterabend is most often celebrated on the Friday evening before the churchceremony, even in some regions on the Thursday or Saturday evening before. If thePolterabend occurs on the eve of the wedding, the couple is permitted to leave the fest

early (i.e. around midnight), so as to be fresh and without hangover on the next morning -the Polterabend is traditionally celebrated with more gusto and frolicking than the actualwedding festivities.This is only the case in some parts of Germany. In Bavaria, as well as in Austria andSwitzerland, bride and groom get separate bachelor/ette parties rather than a Polterabend.Some regions additionally celebrate the so-called custom of "Paube": the Paube can alsobe celebrated days or weeks before the wedding. On one hand, it is meant as a sort ofengagement party; on the other hand, it is often coupled with the housewarming of a newshared dwelling for the couple and expresses the joy of future life together. The Paube isless raucous than the Polterabend. Normally, the father of the bride grills by the Paube. Insome areas of Hesse the traditional green sauce from seven herbs is prepared; here thecolor green and the number seven stand for lucky charms for the couple.The Polterabend is commonly celebrated in the western parts of Poland - especially inWielkopolska, Silesia, Kashubia, Kujawy and Kociewie, where significant Germancultural influences used to be.[edit]Literature

Martin P. Richter: Gelungene berraschungen fr Polterabend und Junggesellenabschied,Freiburg, Urania, 2005. ISBN 3-332-01612-1

HOMETRAVEL EXPAT

Our Take on Canadian-German Wedding Traditions

Posted on the 18 January 2012 by Expatgermany
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This past August I married my now German husband (J.P.) in the Canadian Rockies andwanted to include some German customs in our Canadian-German wedding. Who betterto ask than my German fiance? So when I asked J.P. which customs he wanted to includehe shrugged and said Cant think of anything. I was in disbelief, the man who had anopinion on everything from our wedding colors to our invitations to ourchair hire towhether we should serve a plated dinner or buffet, now all of a sudden didnt have anopinion on something that I actually needed his opinion on?

From a combination of attending a German wedding, speaking with German friends and

Google research, I compiled a list of German wedding traditions. I soon realized thatcoming up with the traditions was the easy part but that actually implementing themwould not be so easy as I started discarding them one by one. I didnt think thePolterabend (breaking dishes the night before the wedding to bring good luck) would goover well in a Canadian national park. Nor would the rice throwing, which is not allowedin Canadian national parks. I convinced J.P. that our guests could blow bubbles instead.He remained unconvinced but relented, eager to be a law-abiding citizen, as mostGermans are. Still he took the precaution of explaining the reason for the bubbles in lieu
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of rice to our German guests before the wedding, who ended up having the most funblowing bubbles (top photo).

The log cutting Bavarian tradition was one of my favorite parts of our Canadian-Germanwedding.

I also didnt want to walk down the aisle together as German couples normally do,believing that if we saw each other before the ceremony on our wedding day that it wouldbring bad luck. J.P. was fine with not walking down the aisle together but wasntimpressed that now we would have to pay for TWO hotel rooms the night before thewedding, as he wondered aloud Do all Canadians waste their money like this? I

couldnt really blame him, he had lived in Swabia, a part of southern Germany where thepeople are famous for being tight with their money for 18 years. Still I stood my ground.

I also didnt want J.P.s friends to kidnap me during the reception taking me away frommy own wedding and hanging out in a local bar where J.P. would have to find me andbuy a round of drinks for everyone. J.P. readily agreed to forgo this one practicallypointing out that none of his German friends knew any good bars in Banff having onlyjust arrived the day before.


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According to the log cutting ceremony our marriage is off to a good start - so far so good!

On the other hand I did forgo a veil as most Germans bride do (but to be honest I didntwant to wear a veil anyway). We also omitted wedding attendants and just had twowitnesses sign our marriage documents as is typically done in Germany. We served asthe emcee ourselves. Had I not seen this working well previously at the German weddingwe attended, I would not have been so easily persuaded, but it also relieved the burden offinding an entertaining bilingual emcee. We danced, or attempted to dance, the VienneseWaltz, another German tradition for our first dance. The most obvious and fun Germancustom (which is really only a Bavarian one) that we integrated into our wedding was

cutting of the log. Directly following the ceremony the newlyweds must work togetherwith a a two-person saw to cut through a log. Its supposed to be symbolic of how wellthe couple will work together during their marriage and to show the couple that themarriage works much better when they work together. All Germans have heard of this,but none of our German guests, including J.P. had seen it before since none of them areBavarian. We did it anyway, much to the confused look on our Canadian guests faces andthe amused looks of our German guests who kept mumbling They know that justbecause theyre moving to Munich, that theyre not Bavarian right? It was one of my


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favorite parts of our Canadian-German wedding.

Documents

German Wedding Customs