HAPPINESSHow to Get It

How to Keep It

Ideas From the New Positive Psychology

Quotes

“It seems to me most people are as happy as they make up their minds to be.” - Abraham Lincoln

Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony.” - Gandhi

“Happiness, like unhappiness, is a proactive choice.” - Steven Covey

Scripture

Proverbs 17:22 “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” - (NIV)

1 Thessalonians 5:16 “Be joyful always.” - (NIV)

Philippians 4:4 “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” - (NIV)

4 Areas That Correlate with Higher Levels of Happiness

SOAP

4 Areas That Correlate with Higher Levels of Happiness

Social ConnectionsOAP

Quotes

- “Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.” - Helen Keller

- “Love is our destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone – we find it with another.” - Thomas Merton

- “We are wounded in isolation. We are healed in community.” - Alcoholics Anonymous- “Remember George – no man is a failure who has

friends.” - Clarence from Its A Wonderful Life

Quote from Ed Diener

“The most salient characteristics shared by the 10% of students with the highest levels of happiness and the fewest signs of depression were their strong ties to friends and family and commitment to spending time with them.” (“Very Happy People,” Psychological Science, 2002)

Scripture

- Genesis 2:18 “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone….” (NIV)

- Ecclesiastes 4:10 “If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” (NIV)

- Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” (NIV)- James 5:16a “Therefore confess your sins to each other ---” (NIV) - Galatians 6:2a “Carry each other’s burdens ---” (NIV)

Social Connections

- The most powerful of the four- The most researched among the four- Shows the most clear connection to happiness and

subjective well being of the four- From 50 years of research on the correlates of life

satisfaction, not only in the U. S. but around the world, it has consistently been shown that happiness is best predicted by the breadth and depth of one’s social connections

Social Connections

Currently the Trend is Against Social Connections:

- Family dinners and family vacations are down by over 30% in the last 25 years

- Having friends over to the house is down by 45% over the last 25 years

- Participation in clubs and civic organizations is down by 50% in the last 25 years

- Church attendance is down by a third since the 1960’s- 65% of Americans spend more time with their computers

than with their spouses

4 Areas That Correlate with Higher Levels of Happiness

Social ConnectionsOptimismAP

Optimism

- Optimism (positive predictions, interpretations and explanations about life) is highly correlated with happiness and subjective well being

- Pessimism (negative predictions, interpretations and explanations about life) is highly correlated with less happiness and more depression

Optimistic Explanatory Style

How We Understand the Causes of Negative Events:

- Permanent = The cause is something that will persist (pessimistic)

- Temporary = The cause is changeable or transient (optimistic)

- Pervasive = The cause will affect many situations (pessimistic)- Specific = The cause will affect only a few situations (optimistic) - Personal = I am solely the cause (pessimistic)- Impersonal = The cause involves other people or circumstances

(optimistic)

4 Areas That Correlate with Higher Levels of Happiness

Social ConnectionsOptimismAppreciation and Thankfulness P

Quotes

- “Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.” - Charles Dickens

- “Gratitude is not only the greatest of all virtues, but the parent of all others.” - Cicero

- “Gratitude turns what we have into enough.” -Unknown- “In ordinary life, we hardly realize that we receive a great deal more than we give, and that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich.” - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Appreciation and Thankfulness(An Attitude of Gratitude)

Scripture- Psalm 100:4 “Enter His gates with thanksgiving and his courts

with praise; give thanks to Him and praise His name.” (NIV)- Colossians 3:15 “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since

as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.” (NIV)

- 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (NIV)

- Philippians 4:6 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” (NIV)

The Gratitude Visit- Think of someone who did or said something that changed your life

for the better and who you never properly thanked.- Write a letter of gratitude to this person (about 300 words or 1 to 3

pages). The letter should be specific about what the person did for you and how it affected your life.

- Call the person and ask if you can pay him/her a visit. Be vague about the reason so this can be a surprise if possible.

- Take the letter, either framed or laminated, and read it out loud to the person. Then discuss the content and your feelings for each other.

- The letter is theirs to keep.- Participants in this exercise were happier and less depressed one

month later.

The What Went Well Exercise (also called Three Blessings)

- Every night for seven consecutive nights before you go to sleep write down three things that went well that day and why they went well.

- This can be hand written or on computer but do keep a physical record of what you wrote.

- Your items can range from little in importance to very important.- After the seven nights you will probably find it is very easy to

stick with this exercise and you may not want to stop (60% of participants in the original experiment continued the writing each night after the study had concluded).

- The study found that participants who continued the exercise were happier and less depressed six months later.

4 Areas That Correlate with Higher Levels of Happiness

Social ConnectionsOptimismAppreciation or gratitudePurpose and meaning

Quotes- “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” - Nietzsche- “Man’s main concern is not to gain pleasure or avoid pain but rather to see a meaning in his life.” - Viktor Frankl- “The question is not what do I expect from life but what does life expect from me.” - Victor Frankl- “There is no greater gift that you can give or receive than to honor your calling. Its why you were born. And how you become most truly alive.” - Oprah Winfrey

Scripture

- Psalm 57:2 “I cry out to God Most High, to God, who fulfills His purpose for me.” - (NIV)

- Ephesians 1:11 “In Him we were chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of Him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of His will…” - (NIV)

- Ecclesiastes 12:13 “Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: fear God, and keep His commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.”

- (KJV)