Helping Kids Heal

8/14/2019 Helping Kids Heal

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Good GriefGood Grief

Helping children grieveHelping children grieve


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Good GriefGood Grief

Helping children grieveHelping children grieve


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ObjectivesObjectives

Recognize how children grieve over thedeath of a loved one.

Learn how to use art to help childrenidentify and express their feelings of grief.

Learn specific examples of the arts forhealing

Quilt-making Writing

Drawing Painting Collage


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Good Grief Wk. 1Good Grief Wk. 1

Why the name Good Grief?


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Good Grief Wk.1Good Grief Wk.1

Introductions & Icebreakers

Confidentiality explained

Group rules discussed


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Grief definedGrief defined Grief is.different for everyone, no right or wrong way to grieve.

Grief is not a mountain to be climbed,

With the strong reaching the summit long before the weak,

Grief is not an athletic event,

With the stop watches timing our progress,

Grief is a walk through loss and pain,

With no competition and no time trials,

Grief is like peeling an onion in your own unique way,

Ahead of you lies more peeling and more walking through your pain,

Learning to adjust to life as it is now,


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Remembrance quiltsRemembrance quilts

Each child tells who they lost, their age andname.

Martha begins the quilt making project.

Photos are brought in and layed-out.

Children have a safe, non-verbal activity.

Photos allow kids to begin to confront powerful grieffeelings in the group setting, as a show and tell, anidea they are familiar with.

Our stories are shared informally, as they work ondesigning their quilts.


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Good Grief Wk.1- 2Good Grief Wk.1- 2

We begin by sharing our stories aloud,honoring our loved ones, reminiscing

Each child briefly tellswho died in their family.

Quilt making


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Mister Rogers Talking about the unmentionable makes itmanageable.

Our goal is to begin to unpack the heavy load of grief thateach child carries, making the road ahead a little easier.

The first step is going into detail about what happened to

them, their story is told. Hellen Keller The world is full tremendous sorrow, but is also full of the

overcoming of it.


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Children often are not asked Gather them into a circle and talk.

The first step is going into detail aboutwhat happened to them.

Their story is told:

Who, when, why, how, where.We listen to each other, the room is quiet


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Give sorrow words, the griefthat does not speak

Whispers the oer-fraughtheart,

And bids it break

Shakespeare


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Children need to be given a chance to grieve.Parents often think it is better to shelter their

children from discussing their feelings

associated with grief and loss.

However, the unspoken fears of a child andthoughts are more damaging if left unsaid.

Magical thinking explained.


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Specific Projects to trySpecific Projects to try

Expressive Art Projects to help children tell theirstory:

Booking making with markers and paper

Creating a story about an animal who lost somebody..OnceUpon a Time

Group Poem about the loss, pass around

Doodling while talking in a circle on large sheets of paper

Drawing yourself before the death and after.

Draw yourself as a tree who has suffered a loss

Paper Mache Heart Project


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Whats Inside Your HeartWhats Inside Your Heart


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Whats Inside Your HeartWhats Inside Your Heart


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Wk. 4 Explore Grief emotionsWk. 4 Explore Grief emotions

Anger

Fear

Sadness

Worries about other parents dying Feeling lonely

Feeling different than others

Guilt

Feeling responsible for the death

Magical thinking investigated and cognitive distortionscorrected


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I am a volcanoI am a volcanoI feel like I am a bomb about to explode. I am splittingI feel like I am a bomb about to explode. I am splitting

and exploding.and exploding.


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Example of an intervention used on Wk. 5 Focus: How to handle, identify and express anger in grief

Directive: Show your angry feelings as a monster (w/

woods, nails and broken tile pieces) which expressesyour anger about the loss of parent.

The children all interpreted the directive in a way that

they needed to express their grief and pain. These arethe stories of the children.


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When I asked Lauren what her sculpture would say if

it had a voice, she said I love you, dont be afraid,

you are never alone.

Then Lauren said and tell someone how you

feel.


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Angry Monsters SculptureAngry Monsters Sculpture

My monster is not as angry as it used to be. It used to

be out of control with anger. Now, it feels a little better

each day. I still miss daddy but I know that Im not the

only kid whos daddy died. I dont feel so different and

alone. I put a matchbox car on my monster because mydaddy really loved them. I put these nails for hair

because he didnt have much hair because of his

cancer. I used to ask God why me, why did I have to

loose my daddy when Im so young. But now I know Iwill be O.K.


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A group poem by 3-18 years oldsA group poem by 3-18 years olds

Loves everlasting

Sorrow is a deep well,

But, life goes on

The memory of your loved one is deep like a well,

And everlasting like the universe (the stars in the sky).

There is a reason for everything,

You are here,

I am with you,

Look around there is sun, waters sweet music Let your grief float on the water,

The tide will carry your precious memories back to you

Let the tide carry away your grief,

The tide will carry tiny bits of precious memories back to you.


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Week 6Week 6

By week 6, they are comfortable and dont want to leave thegroup.

Quilt ceremony, first 15-20 minutes, family and friends are invited.

We end the group with a candle, some give a poem or song to thegroup.

I ask them what are you leaving with?

Share memories and funny stories.

We discuss ways to handle grief in the future and introduce Good

Grief and beyond Share their Quilts and Comfort Card quilt.


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How Do We Parents Help?How Do We Parents Help?


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How Do We Parents Help?How Do We Parents Help?


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Be honest with the child and give simple, clear explanations consistent with the child's level of understanding.

Be careful not to overload them with too many facts.

Younger children are more affected by disruptions in their environment than by the loss itself.

Avoid confusing explanations of death, such as, "gone away," or "gone to sleep." It might be better to say, "his body stopped working." Avoid makingGod responsible for the death. Instead say, "God didn't take your sister, but God welcomed her." Or, "God is sad that we're sad. But now that your sisterhas died, she is with God." Don't assume that if the child isn't talking about the loss it hasn't affected them. Be consistent and maintain the usual routinesas much as possible. Encourage the child to express their feelings and to ask questions. Children may act out their grief in their fantasy play and artwork.If children have seen adults cry in the past they will be less concerned about tears now. Show affection and let them know that they are loved and will betaken care of. Each child reacts differently to loss. Behaviors that you may observe include: withdrawal, acting out, disturbances in sleeping and eating,poor concentration, being overly clingy, regression to earlier stages of development, taking on attributes of the deceased. Sharing your grief with a chil


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Avoid confusing explanations of death, such as, "gone away," or"gone to sleep." It might be better to say, "his body stoppedworking." Don't assume that if the child isn't talking about the loss ithasn't affected them.

Be consistent and maintain the usual routines. Encourage the child to

express their feelings and to ask questions. Children may act outtheir grief in their fantasy play and artwork. If children have seenadults cry in the past they will be less concerned about tears now.Show affection and let them know that they are loved and will betaken care of. Each child reacts differently to loss. Behaviors that youmay observe include: withdrawal, acting out, disturbances in sleeping

and eating, poor concentration, being overly clingy, regression toearlier stages of development, taking on attributes of the deceased.Sharing your grief with a chil


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How to helpHow to help

Encourage the child to express their feelings and to ask questions.

Children may act out their grief in their fantasy play and artwork.

If children have seen adults cry in the past they will be less concernedabout tears now.

Show affection and let them know that they are loved and will be taken

care of. Each child reacts differently to loss. Behaviors that you mayobserve include: withdrawal, acting out, disturbances in sleeping andeating, poor concentration, being overly clingy, regression to earlierstages of development, taking on attributes of the deceased.

Show affection and let them know that they are loved and someone willalways be there for them.


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What is normal grief in children?What is normal grief in children?

Show affection and let them know thatthey are loved and someone will always bethere for them.

Each child reacts differently to loss.Behaviors that you may observe include:withdrawal, acting out, disturbances insleeping and eating, poor concentration,

being overly clingy, regression to earlierstages of development, taking onattributes of the deceased.


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Connecting with your childConnecting with your child

While laughing with your child youll take apeek at heaven (play, build forts, rentfunny movies, play games, cuddle, make

jello, read, play wii).

Ages and stages


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Helping Kids Heal