Here to Serve You

8/12/2019 Here to Serve You

1/11

HERE TO SERVE YOU

CHARACTERS:

TED A tall, rugged, long haired man, late 30

T!" A #oung $uineman, earl# 30

TODD A e%urit# guard, an# age

SETT!&': 'ate A() at an air*ort terminal in a large %it#

T!"E: +:3 A"- +00.


2/11

HERE TO SERVE YOU

/!'HTS U

SETT!&': A large %it#- Air*ort terminal- 'ate A()-

T!"E: +:3 A"- +00.-

AT R!SE: Em*t# %hair- A hoe on the 1loor-

TED enter- He i a tall, long2haired, rugged #oungman ith a %om*a%t $a%4*a%4- He, the *a%4, and

hi %lothe are ell orn-

He it on the 1loor, tret%he out hi leg, ta4e outa *a*er$a%4, alo ell orn, and read-

A&&OU&CE"E&T 5male 6oi%e7

Unattended $aggage *reent a e%urit# ri4 and %ould $e %on1i%ated and detro#ed-

aenger are urged to re*ort u*i%iou item or a%ti6itie to the nearet air*ort e%urit#em*lo#ee-

5During the announ%ement, T!" enter- He ear

a uit, ha a %arr#2on $ag, la*to* %om*uter, and%o11ee- He i rum*led and $lear#- He et don hi

%ae and tret%he mightil#-7

A&&OU&CE"E&T 51emale 6oi%e7

8e ould li4e to remind #ou that the air*ort *oli%e and 1ire de*artment are here to er6e

#ou- !n %ae o1 an emergen%#, *leae dial nine2one2one 1rom an# *u$li% *a# *hone-

5T!" loo4 at TED, mile- TED doent loo4 u*-

T!" it, trie to get %om1orta$le enough to lee*,

$ut it ho*ele-7

T!"

Darned la#o6er, huh95TED nod ithout loo4ing u*-7

So- You going to oton9

TED

Re#4;a6i4-

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3/11

5TED %ontinue reading- T!" 1idget- He

loo4 at TED, then loer himel1 ti11l# to

the 1loor- He noti%e the hoe- A1ter a moment,he raie himel1 into a %hair-7

T!"! that < e=%ue me, i that #our9

5TED glan%e at the hoe, then indi%ate hi on

hod 1eet- He %ontinue reading- T!" o*en hila*to* and trie to or4, $ut i ditra%ted $# the

hoe-7

8a that < e=%ue me, a that there hen #ou got here9

TED

Did #ou $ring it9

T!"&o-

TED

Then #eah-

5TED %ontinue reading- T!" trie to or4-

8ear# and till ditra%ted-7

T!"You ouldnt thin4 < ould #ou9 You ouldnt thin4 ome$od# %ould loe a hoe and

not 4no it-

5TED loo4 at the hoe and at T!"-7

TED!t ;ut a hoe, man-

5He %ontinue reading- T!" trie to or4, $ut

i 1ar too ditra%ted-7

T!"

Shouldnt e < e=%ue me, hould e re*ort it9

TED

/ot and 1ound9

T!"

Se%urit#-

+


4/11

TED

"an, ! 4no #ou to minute, #oure alread# %ree*in me out-

T!"

You dont ha6e to> Dont the# a# re*ort unattended luggage9

5TED laugh-7

TED'o ahead, 4no%4 #ourel1 out-

T!"

So < ho do #ou thin42229

TED

An# $adge ill do-

T!"

ut #ou thin4 it ;ut a hoe9

TED

And a 4i i ;ut a 4i-

T!"

Youre not %on%erned9

TED

eronall#, ! dont mind i1 it omething ele- /i6en thing u*-

5TED %ontinue reading- &o T!" 1ind

TED di?uieting, too- He *oint to hi $ag-7

T!"

Do #ou mind9 !m de1initel# going to re*ort thi-

5T!" tart to lea6e-7

TED

5ithout loo4ing u*7 He#- /oo4 at thoe unattended $ag- !d $etter re*ort them-

T!"

Do #ou mind at%hing m# $ag9

TED

&o a#, man- Thi i not m# gig-

3


5/11

5T!" i anno#ed- TED doent %are- T!"

*i%4 u* hi $ag and e=it- TED ha4e hi

head and %ontinue reading-

A1ter a moment, T!" return ith TODD, a

e%urit# guard- TODD ha a $adge and al4ietal4ie- He i not armed- T!" *oint at the hoe-7

T!"Right there-

TODD

Uh huh- That the hoe9

T!"

Ye-

TODD

Uh huh- And> Hm- So it a ;ut l#ing there9

T!"

Right-

5TODD %ir%le around the hoe, un%ertain-7

TODDUh huh- So> Ha it 222 done an#thing in%e #ou $e%ame aare o1 it, ir9

5TED laugh, ithout loo4ing u* 1rom hi $oo4-7

TED

@eu, "ar# and @oe*h, ;ut 4ill me no-

T!"

&o- ut ! thought !d $etter re*ort it- And he a here-

TODD

Thi man a here ith it hen #ou got here9

TED

! ouldnt a# ! a ith it < in the $i$li%al ene-

TODD

Sir, ould #ou *leae tand and te* aa# 1rom the hoe-

5T!" te* $a%4-7


6/11

TED

Tell me #oure ;o4ing-

TODD

Stand and te* aa# 1rom the hoe, ir-

TED

!t ;ut a222

TODD

Step away from the shoe, sir.

5Ver# anno#ed, TED tand- TODD %ontinueto in*e%t the hoe-7

TED

5to T!"7 "an, #ou need a ho$$#-

TODDleae, gentlemen, i1 #oull ;ut 4ee* ?uiet hile ! ae the ituation-

TEDThere i no ituation-

TODD

Sir, ! ant #ou to222

TED

There i no goddamned ituationB

TODD

Sir, te* $a%4 and at%h #our language-

TED

There i no> !t ashoe- /oo4 at thi-

5He rea%he 1or the hoe- T!" ;um* $a%4

1arther- TODD get $eteen TED and the

hoe- He get out hi al4ie tal4ie- TEDta4e a te* $a%4-7

TODDSir, #ou do not ant me to ha6e to re?uet $a%42u*-

5TED laugh-7


7/11

TED

a%42u*9

TODD

5into al4ie tal4ie7 Thi i Todd at A2&ineteen, outh terminal-

TED

You need $a%42u*

TODD

5to TED7 leae, ir, ;ut it don-

TED1or a hoe9

TODD

&o, ir- or #ou- 5TED rea%he 1or hi *a%4- TODD te* in 1ront

o1 him-7ee* aa# 1rom #our *a%4, ir- Stand ?uietl# and 4ee* #our hand here ! %an ee them-

5TED te* $a%4-7

5into al4ie tal4ie7 ! ha6e a u*e%t hoe and *aenger here-5'ar$led re*one-7

Ye ir- ! am till aeing the ituation here-

TED5to T!"7 Ho $ad are #ou gonna 1eel

TODD5to TED7 Sir, ! ha6e a4ed #ou to 4ee* ?uiet-

TEDhen #ou 1ind out !m a 6et9

T!"

8hat ar9

TED

A1ghanitan- Remem$er that one9

TODD

And hi%h ide did #ou 1ight on9

TED

&ot hi-

.


8/11

TODD

5into hi al4ie tal4ie7 ! ha6e a *oi$le enem# %om$atant here-

T!"

That not hat he meant-

TODD

5to T!"7 Sir, ! ha6e to a4 #ou to te* o6er there, aa# 1rom the detainee-

T!"

Detainee9

TODDO6er there, ir- And ! ha6e to a4 #ou not to tal4, ir-

TED

Sti%4 around- 8at%h ho it or4-

TODDSir, i1 #ou 4ee* tal4ing, !m going to ha6e to add Freiting an o11i%erG to #our %harge-

TED5at attention7 Ye irB

5He *ut hi hand $ehind hi head and *read

hi leg-7

T!"

Charge9 8hat %harge9

TODD

And #ou, too, ir- ! need a$olute ilen%e 1rom $oth o1 #ou-

T!"

8hat are #ou tal4ing a$out9 He didnt do an#thing-

TODD

Did #ou or did #ou not re*ort a u*i%iou hoe to me9

T!"

Ye ! did, $ut ! ant a#ing222

TODD

And did #ou or did #ou not tell me that thi man a here hen #ou *otted the hoe9


9/11

T!"

ut that a ;ut a 1a%t-

TODD

Sir, #our re*ort ha $een noted and i $eing a%ted u*on and #ou are re?ueted to tand

o6er there and 4ee* #our mouth hut-

T!"

ut it ;ut a hoe- ! ;ut thought #oud222

TODD

! do not %are hat #ou thin4 it i- 8e do not 4no that thi i ;ut a hoe-

T!"

! thought #oud ;ut thro it aa#- ! ant tr#ing to222

TODDSir, tand o6er there and 4ee* ?uiet or ! am authoried to ue ne%ear# 1or%e-

T!"

or%e9 or hat9 !m ;ut, !m ;ut tanding here, ! ;ut ant to e=*lain222

TODD

Thi i the lat time !m telling #ou, ir- Stand over there and shut the fuck up-

TED/oo4 li4e e got

TODD5to TED7 And not a ord 1rom #ou-

TEDa eriou ram*2u* on our hand-

5T!" a**roa%he TODD- TODD tene-7

T!"

/iten, ;ut liten- ! a the hoe and ! re*orted it,

TODD

Sta# $a%4- Sta# $a%4-

T!"

$ut ! didnt mean to im*l#

I


10/11

TODD

!m arning #ou, ta# $a%4-

T!"

that thi man a in an# a# in6ol6ed in an#thing-

TODD

Sta# $a%4B

T!"

! ;ut ant to e=*lainB Thi doent ma4e eneB

5TODD i in a de1eni6e %rou%h $eteen theto men- TED ta4e a deli$erate te* toard

him-7

TODD5into al4ie tal4ie7 O11i%er donB O11i%er donB Re?ueting $a%42u*B &oB &oB

T!" A&&OU&CE"E&T 5male7

8hat are #ou2229 Unattended $aggage *reent a e%urit#

ri4 and %ould $e %on1i%ated and5TODD gra$ T!"- The# %u11le, $ut detro#ed- aenger are urged to re*ort

T!" i not a 1ighter- TODD get him u*i%iou item or a%ti6itie to the

to the 1loor-7 nearet air*ort e%urit# em*lo#ee-

TODD

5into al4ie tal4ie7 Where is my fucking A&&OU&CE"E&T 51emale7

back up? 8e ould li4e to remind #ou that the air*ort *oli%e and 1ire de*artment are

T!" here to er6e #ou- !n %ae o1 an

8aitB 8aitB Thi doent ma4e eneB emergen%#, *leae dial nine2one2one! ant doing an#thingB 1rom an# *u$li% *a# *hone-

TODD

@ut 4ee* till, ir- Do not truggle-

58ith hi hand till $ehind hi head, TED

al4 to the hoe and 4i%4 it toard TODDand T!"- TODD %o6er hi head-7

TEDoom-

5All 1reee-7

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11/11

/!'HTS DO8&

THE E&D

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Here to Serve You