(doorbell rings)

SIBELLAOh! Who could that be?

MONTYI haven't the foggiest!Quick! Go into the bedroom! Shut the door! Be very still!

PHOEBEIve decided to marry you! Ive decided to marry you!Ive decided though Henrys gone that life goes on for me!I have thoroughly thought it throughand the man that I want is you!Though its true there are quite a few who strongly disagree,nonetheless I will marry you!I confess that Im frightened too,but, unless I am wrong, you long for love as much as I!This is quite unconventional, Ill admit,but why should that matter a wit?And if you do not say yes at once, I think Ill die!

MONTYMiss DYsquith, youve rendered me speechless! May call you Phoebe?

SIBELLAWhat am I doing here? This could be dangerous. If Im discovered imagine the scandal. And I couldnt handle a scandal so visible, Ill stay invisible, still as can be.

But whats going on in there? I can hear voices. I recognize Monty, but is that a woman? And if thats a woman, then what is she doing here? Is it the cousin? I wish I could see! If its the cousin it might just be business. Its family business and none of my business. But why is she here in the home of a bachelor?

Of course, one could point out that Im here as well. But does she not realise this situation puts her reputation severely in question? The merest suggestion could cause a sensation and I cannot hear which is hell!

PHOEBEIve been warned not to marry you! SIBELLAI could go homePHOEBEIll be scorned if I marry you!SIBELLAI should go home

PHOEBE SIBELLAStill, I decided to live my life again! To live my life and be a wife again.

PHOEBEWhod believe how my life is turned? SIBELLAI should be offPHOEBEAfter grieving I quickly learnedSIBELLABut he makes me laugh

PHOEBE and SIBELLAThere is nothing that bends the will like half Castilian men.

PHOEBEAnd theres goodness to swearing you! SIBELLAWell, isnt this fun!PHOEBEAnd the gentleness bearing youSIBELLAIsnt she done?PHOEBEYou have taken a wounded bird and taught her how to fly!SIBELLAFamily business my eye!

PHOEBE and SIBELLAThis is quite unconventional, is it not? Rather a turn in the plot.

PHOEBEAnd so, will I be your fianc?

SIBELLAWhy dont you send the cow away?

MONTYPhoebe, darling!

PHOEBE and SIBELLAWhen I recall this day I think Ill cry!

SIBELLA (accidentally sitting on a glass)Ah!

PHOEBEWhat was that?

MONTY NAVARROWhat was what?

PHOEBE DYSQUITH:

That sound. Is there someone here?

MONTY NAVARRO:

Oh! Pay no attention. Thats my new man-servant. Hes just finding his way around.

Ill be with you in a moment, Warnsworth!

(aside)

Isnt this madness, who could foresee how one trick of timing could ruin it all?! One in the parlour, one in the bedroom, nothing between them but me and a wall.

Look at Phoebe, noble and pious, my esteem for her only grows, but, when I am with Phoebe, I am on fire thinking of Sibella, full of desire, passion and, dare I say it, love? But, when Im with Sibella, whom do I admire? None but Phoebe, perfect and lovely, who couldnt love her, heaven knows? Round and round and round it goes!

How happy Id be to be at your disposal, my darling! Of course I accept your proposal!

PHOEBE DYSQUITH:

Now we should kiss.

MONTY NAVARRO:

That would be bliss!

PHOEBE DYSQUITH:

Darling, but first Ill say this:

Ive decided to marry you!

SIBELLA HALLWARD:

What are they doing?

MONTY NAVARRO:

Phoebe!

PHOEBE DYSQUITH:

Ive decided to marry you!

SIBELLA HALLWARD:

What are they doing?

MONTY NAVARRO:

Sibella!

SIBELLA HALLWARD:

I wish this wall would fall and set me free!

MONTY NAVARRO:

Phoebe! Set me free!

MONTY NAVARRO:

Then again, theres Sibella! Yes, I decided to marry you, Phoebe, look what youve done to me!

PHOEBE DYSQUITH:

Monty!

MONTY NAVARRO:

Phoebe!

SIBELLA HALLWARD:

Monty!

MONTY NAVARRO:

Warnsworth!

SIBELLA HALLWARD:

Monty! Monty!

PHOEBE DYSQUITH:

Monty! Monty!

MONTY NAVARRO:

Im grateful, indeed, for you gracious bestowment! Yes, Warnsworth, I told you Ill be just a moment!

PHOEBE DYSQUITH:

Now Monty, dear, I think I now should go.

MONTY NAVARRO:

Oh!

PHOEBE DYSQUITH:

But I still want to marry you!

MONTY NAVARRO:

Even so!

PHOEBE DYSQUITH:

Ive decided to marry you!

SIBELLA HALLWARD:

Just go!

PHOEBE DYSQUITH:

How Im longing to marry you!

SIBELLA HALLWARD:

Go!

MONTY NAVARRO and PHOEBE DYSQUITH:

Yes, Im delighted to marry you, marry you, marry you!

MONTY NAVARRO:

Shame you must go, go!

PHOEBE DYSQUITH:

Shame I must go, go!

ALL TOGETHER:

Go, go, go, go!