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JULY 2020 ISSUE 114 #3 2020
Celebrations
Contents1 FROM THE PRESIDENT’S DESK
2 EDITOR’S EXPOSE
3 COLLECT CONTACT DETAILS EASILY
5 2020 OPD WHAT SHOULD I DO?
6 A WORD OR TWO FROM
YOUR MEMBERSHIP MANAGER
6 AFCC 1300 AND HELPDESK
7 AFCC INSURANCE COVER:
WHAT IT REALLY MEANS
8 HOME OFFICE EXPENSES
AND CAPITAL GAINS TAX*
8 NETWORKING
9 RETIREMENT REFLECTIONS
10 MY RATHER UNEXPECTED
CELEBRANT JOURNEY
11 AN ENRICHING JOURNEY
12 COUNTRY CELEBRANT’S
CONUNDRUMS OR CHALLENGES
15 FUNERAL FUNNY
16 MORE RETIRING REFLECTIONS
17 MY MOTHER’S WISHES
18 “I MISS YOU”
18 HAVE A QUESTION?
19 THE LAST QUIZ
19 NEXT EDITION OF CELEBRATIONS
19 THIS EDITION’S QUIZ
20 NEW MEMBERS
ISSUE 114 #3 – 2020 Celebrations 1
From the President’s DeskANTHONY BURKE AFCC National President
Welcome to the 2020/2021 membership year. I know that we are going to achieve great things together in the coming 12 months. We are certainly off to a flying start with many projects underway in each of the association portfolios.
Thank you to everyone who has renewed their membership and support with the AFCC. I am a little biased, as I believe that the AFCC is an amazing professional association for Celebrants looking to be supported, looking to grow and enhance their celebrancy business.
We have a few members who have decided to hang up their celebrancy ceremony folders. What an amazing journey each of you would have had. Each Celebrant is different and unique in their own style, so thank you for being you. On behalf of the AFCC National Committee and members I wish you all the very best in your retirement.
Over the last 10 years the association has grown and continues to grow and evolve into something truly wonderful. When you think about what resources and benefits we have available to us through our membership it certainly provides comfort knowing that the AFCC is here for support.
In that 10 years, the association has more than doubled in size and continues to grow on a daily basis. It isn’t the quantity that matters, it’s knowing that there are over 2000 Celebrants Australia-wide, being supported and involved in networking and creating professional relationships.
The AFCC is very much like running any type of business/organisation.
Your volunteer National Committee strives to ensure that we are fiscally responsible with your membership dollars. We have some very big ticket items for expenditure: insurance, copyright, software, website and this is even before we start to get into the daily running and our portfolios.
One of the costs is the running of the association – that is the committee costs. As per the ATO standards, it is recommended that Committee expenditure should be 30% or less, I am so pleased to say that in the last financial year these were below 20%.
We don’t have staff – we have a volunteer Committee who are always working to ensure the association remains the premier professional association in Australia.
Again thank you for your continued support. With your continued support and input we will accomplish great things in the coming membership year.
Like always we are here for you, so please reach out if we can help you in anyway.
Until next Celebrations
Cheers Ant
Don't worry about what others think, be creative, be unique, be YOU – Anthony Burke
ISSUE 114 #3 – 2020 2 Celebrations
Welcome to our 114th edition of Celebrations.
AFCC was formed in the early 1990s by some enthusiastic Celebrants wanting to improve their profession and their celebrancy. Since its establishment, many people have passed through this organisation.
Many felt that AFCC offered them great support, especially as they began their celebrancy careers, but also throughout those careers.
Since its beginning, AFCC has developed immensely and is now the largest Celebrant Association in Australia, offering members wonderful opportunities to learn in various ways, as well as offering support for everyone.
Insurance and copyright/APRA coverage are great benefits of AFCC membership. Resources available to current members are the best available. Whether that be the use of Celebrant Suite/Celebrant Briefcase, publications such as the Wedding Resources Guide and the Funeral Resources Guide, or the various certificates for family unity, renewal of vow, and baby naming services.
Some members have stayed as members of AFCC for their entire celebrancy journey. Others have stayed not as long.
In this edition, you’ll hear some wonderful stories from a few of those Celebrants retiring now, or within the next twelve months.
All those retiring were offered the chance to advertise any equipment/assets they had for sale, but some had already sold, with some doing so through the wonderful AFCC Facebook page – another wonderful benefit of AFCC membership.
I trust you are all coping with these difficult times and for those of you experiencing winter’s cooler days (like me) – I do hope you are managing to keep warm!
Cheers for now – and happy reading
IRENE HARRINGTON OAM, Celebrations Editor
Editor’s Expose
Disclaimer: While all reasonable steps are taken to verify the accuracy of information published herein, no member of the AFCC National Committee, nor the Celebrations’ magazine Editor, or any person or body associated with its production or distribution, can warrant or endorse the authenticity of the content.
Celebrations 3ISSUE 114 #3 – 2020ISSUE 114 #3 – 2020
Collect contact details easily
Contributed by TRACEY MATTHIES
As celebrants we are now required in some, if not all states and territories, to record contact details of people attending events such as weddings.
The information must be held for a defined period (may vary by state or territory).
There are options such as asking the couple to provide a list (likely to be the last thing on their mind); use the file uploaded to the AFCC Facebook group along with lots of pens, hand sanitiser and wipes. However, you can also use your own website to collect details electronically.
So, if you manage your own website, know how to create new pages, and know how to keep those pages private – the following might be for you.
I spent about an hour setting this up and testing it* – less time than it took me to write this guide.
Best of all, it was completely free, easily replicable for each event, and a value-add I can offer clients.
Oh and potential clients attending this event are visiting my website!
The end result: guests and vendors simply point their
smartphone camera at a QR code which prompts them to open a link – no additional software/app needed.
The link is a private page (not listed in the menu) of your website. Attendees fill in their details, hit submit, and an email is sent to a designated email address which automatically records the date and time (because that’s just what email programs do).
Point your smartphone camera at this QR code and click on the link that pops up to open my collector page for a fictitious couple.
***Important disclaimer: the images, text etc in screenshots here use SAMPLE information and stock images only. This is not a real couple and the wording is still subject to finetuning.
If you prefer to view the page on my website, go to: www.uniquelifeceremonies.com.au/michelle-and-barry
IN THIS QUICK HOW-TO, I USED THE FOLLOWING:
VISTAPRINT WEBSITE• You must have access to the content
management system for your website
• Functionality required
- Form builder
- Hidden pages i.e not visible in menu
- Clone pages (so you can copy your master and edit it to create separate pages for each wedding or event)
FREE QR CODE GENERATOR• I used www.the-qrcode-generator.com
HOW-TO: ON YOUR WEBSITE:• Create a new page on
your website
• Select hide from navigation menu (Why hide? If you don’t, this page will be visible to all visitors to your website, breaching your client’s confidentiality and letting anyone submit their – or false – details)
• Add text as required
• Optional – ask your couple to provide a nice photo of them – this reassures guests they are recording their attendance for the right event!
continued on page 4
4 Celebrations ISSUE 114 #3 – 2020
• Build a form to capture the required information
- TIP – make sure the form includes the name of the couple, especially important if you have more than one wedding on a particular day!
- TIP – include an option for one guest to record the full names of everyone in their immediate family group who is attending – saves time.
- Add a display message the guests will see after successfully submitting their information.
• Preview, check, edit, publish
• Make a note of the URL (address) for this specific page because you won’t be able to get there via your website menu!
• Very Important Information – you need to create a new page for each wedding/event
- Clone your master page
- Edit the information, remembering to edit the page title, form builder and display message
- After the event – delete the page (but never delete your master or you will have to start all over again)
QR CODE GENERATOR:• Open your chosen QR code generator.
I used www.the-qrcode-generator.com
• Copy and paste the URL for the new page on your website into the tab labelled URL
• Save the QR code – I use the PNG option
• Test by pointing your smartphone camera at the QR code
- Just click on the link that pops up, do not take a photograph of the code
- Fill in some details, submit
• Very Important – you MUST generate a new QR code for each page
WITH/FOR YOUR COUPLE:• Before doing anything – get their permission.
Even though the page is not accessible via your website menu, it is still published on the internet.
• Send them the QR code and have them display it clearly at the venue with instructions for use
- OPTION – if you’re graphically creative, you could put together an A4 poster for them
• Suggest they have a nominated person meeting and greeting, instructing people to register their details, maybe using their own device to enter details for people without a smartphone.
• In your housekeeping before the ceremony, remind people it is a government requirement to record their details
AFTER THE EVENT:• By the time you get home, you will have an inbox
of emails from that event.
• I just put all the emails from one event into a named folder in my inbox.
• I will only move to put them into a spreadsheet if required to submit them to a health authority for contact tracing purposes.
• Maintain security on your IT systems – our usual responsibilities re confidentiality apply.
• Do not use the details collected for any other purpose.
• Next day – delete the collection page. I leave it until the next day in case of latecomers, or people who don’t log their details until the reception (the reception venue should collect contact details but the time/date stamp on emails will show when someone submitted their information).
NEED A HAND?As different websites use different content management systems, I cannot tell you how to add pages, make them private or build forms on your website. I suggest using the inbuilt help function or even Googling your questions. Experiment, make mistakes and learn from them!
*Initial set up took about an hour, cloning and editing to create a separate page for each event takes 5-10 minutes.
Celebrations 5ISSUE 114 #3 – 2020ISSUE 114 #3 – 2020
Many members have already made arrangements for completing their OPD this year.
For those who are still unsure…
• OPD is COMPULSORY in 2020 and must be finalised by 31 December 2020.
• The AFCC is NOT hosting any face to face OPD this year
• The Gordon TAFE is offering online & distance OPD, with registrations taken via their website – www.thegordon.edu.au
• AFCC members will receive a discount for online, distance & Zoom OPD using the code MC021
• The Gordon TAFE is offering Zoom OPD – dates and topics are available on their website, but registrations for AFCC members MUST be made by emailing or phoning The Gordon directly at: [email protected] or 03 5225 0800
• The Gordon TAFE is offering face to face OPD between August and December. Details are available at www.thegordon.edu.au/celebrancyopd
Please note: No discount is available for AFCC members with the F2F option.
If you have any other OPD questions, please email [email protected]
2020 OPD What should I do?Contributed by KATHY PYNSENT, OPD Manager
I went to the cemetery
yesterday to lay some flowers
on a grave. As I was standing
there I noticed four grave
diggers walking around with
a coffin. Three hours later
I see they're still walking
about with it.
I thought to myself,
they've lost the plot!!
ISSUE 114 #3 – 2020 6 Celebrations
A word or two from your Membership ManagerContributed by RHONDA MCIVER, Membership Manager
Welcome to 2020-2021 Membership Year.
I want to take this opportunity to say thanks to all those members who contacted the 1300 555 875 help line during our renewal period. I had many lovely chats with you all to guide you with renewing, or other issues that may have been concerning to you.
One thing that I would like to mention is that many of the members do not use the AFCC website, therefore not being confident to try and log onto the site to check it out during the year, or utilise the Mini Website available to all members.
My suggestion to all members is to be sure you safely write down or put into your phone, your username and password. This is one of the main reasons members cannot log in as they have forgotten one or the other, or both!!
Often they find that the request for password or username is not working. Susan, our amazing treasurer and I were kept very busy over this period due to forgotten means of access.
The Mini Website is YOUR FREE marketing tool for potential clients to check you out through the Find A Celebrant section of the AFCC website.
You would be surprised at the number of enquiries that come to me on the 1300 phone, from couples looking for a Celebrant. They think that we actually provide details of Celebrants in their area. I have referred them to the Find A Celebrant section so they do the search.
A big thank you to those who advised me (140 users to start off the new membership year) that they wish to continue with the software packages, in particular, Celebrant Briefcase as I needed to advise Nick of all the names before the end of 30 June to give continuity as of 1 July.
If you were a user and you cannot access the program, please contact me on either on 1300 555 875 or email at [email protected] and I will provide your new licence.
If you are a Celebrant Suite user, Ron has emailed the link to everyone who had a licence for 19/20 to re-register by 11 July. That licence expires 11 July 2020. If you did not receive the email please contact Ron at [email protected]
A big thank you to Ron and Nick for their help and support in ensuring that the licences/registration for the use of the Celebrant software continues on smoothly.
Have a wonderful membership year and keep safe.
AFCC 1300 and HelpdeskDon’t forget if you need help with anything AFCC, you can either email [email protected] or call AFCC on – 1300 555 875.
Celebrations 7ISSUE 114 #3 – 2020ISSUE 114 #3 – 2020
There have been some posts on the AFCC Facebook page about our insurance cover, with a request for an explanation of what is offered to AFCC members.
Some celebrants have asked about the real value of our insurance cover.
At no additional cost on top of AFCC membership, the features of our public liability and professional indemnity cover for each and all financial members are really valuable.
• Professional Indemnity cover up to $1,000,000 on any one claim and $3,000,000 in the aggregate;
• Public Liability cover up to $20,000,000 per claim per member;
• Cover of $100,000 per claim per member for property in physical or legal control, not being general property owned by the Celebrant;
• Cover (above) for all Civil Celebrant services within Australia
• Cover for all past activities as a Civil Celebrant during the time you were a financial member of the AFCC; and
• Cover commencing from the day a Celebrant becomes a financial member of the AFCC and continues while the member remains financial.
Note: This cover is exclusively available to financial members of the AFCC. If you are not financial, you are NOT covered by the AFCC member Public Liability and Professional Indemnity insurance policy.
CURRENT INSURANCE CERTIFICATEAny member who needs or wants proof of AFCC member insurance cover can obtain a “Certificate of Currency” by sending an email to [email protected] indicating the following:
• In the Subject box type “AFCC Insurance Certificate Request”
• In the main text box add your name, AFCC membership number and your return email address
• The Certificate will be provided by return email attachment, usually by the next business day.
• Insurance cover remains current while a member is financial.
AFCC Insurance Cover: What it really means
8 Celebrations ISSUE 114 #3 – 2020
Home Office Expenses and Capital Gains Tax*Most members will have some sort of 'home office' where they conduct their celebrancy businesses and many more in the community have been working from home in isolation for several months due to COVID-19 restrictions.
Income tax deductions may be allowed for home office expenses, according to the proportion of your principal place of residence used, including for things like the relative proportion of your council rates, electricity costs, heating and cooling, cleaning and the like.
Generally speaking, subsequently selling your principal place of residence does not attract Capital Gains Tax UNLESS you've claimed and been granted income tax deductions for home office expenses in respect of what was otherwise your home.
*Don't take my word for it, however. I cannot provide professional advice on matters for which I am not qualified and each member's circumstances will be different. All I can suggest is that you ask your tax agent or accountant about it before you make a claim for home office expenses.
Contributed by BRIAN RICHARDSON
Networking Contributed by ALISON BURRELL, State & Territories Liaison Manager
During the COVDI-9 Pandemic, when so many things have been cancelled or postponed, it has been a real pleasure for President Anthony and I to conduct Zoom meetings around the States.
We had been wondering how we could connect with our members in a more informal way, considering we couldn’t meet face to face.
Many of our regional members were particularly grateful for the opportunity to meet virtually and discuss what has been happening in their Celebrant lives.
Some members even decided to meet to have a coffee and a chat as they lived close to each other. This will hopefully encourage other contact groups which members can access when things open up more.
Towards the end of 2019 I asked for volunteers in all states to help co-ordinate meetings in their areas and we had developed quite a bit of momentum until March. I’m sure we will be able to ramp these meetings up again next year.
In the meantime, please keep looking at our Facebook page and any communication from AFCC to find out when and where meetings will be.
It may be that we continue with the Zoom meetings, at least for regional members and perhaps at other times as well, as they have proven to be quite popular.
Celebrations 9ISSUE 114 #3 – 2020ISSUE 114 #3 – 2020
Retirement ReflectionsThe time has come…
Contributed by GAIL BRIGDEN
At age 16 Gail Brigden studied voice at the Conservatorium of Music Sydney and at 18 commenced a modelling career with June Dally Watkins. Singing and modelling professionally led to work on television and leaving her home of Sydney, for opportunities in Melbourne.
Although bringing up a family including three children put the brakes on her singing career, Gail managed to open a fashion boutique, continued modelling and took up presenting at fashion/store parades and on TV. Later she started her own consultancy business and starred in a radio program on 99.3 which continued for 20 years.
Some of Gail’s career highlights included starting her own fashion label, producing fashion shows and doing the wardrobe for the movie “Love Boat” and the TV show “Sons and Daughters”
At aged 50 she took up painting for the first time, concentrating on portraits with exhibits in various exhibitions, including the Archibald Prize. Her latest creation for the latter is shown here.
Her family encouraged her to become a Marriage Celebrant and in 1994 she commenced this new profession.
Having performed over 3000 ceremonies, she now only does one wedding a weekend after moving to the Central Coast to stop burn out, not realising that she would be asked to do the Hunter Valley and Newcastle as well. Owning the name – www.sydneycountrycelebrant.com.au was pretty useful.
Gail represented NSW on the National Committee for a few years during the early years of AFCC, joining the AFCC in 1995, and going to her first conference at Palotti, then all conferences from then except one when her husband passed away.
Gail was one of the Celebrants who asked for OPD. Although she’s not sure it was a good idea, she felt that something had to be done regarding Celebrant standards.
She trained and mentored many of the Celebrants who are now the teacher’s doing OPD. She said it has been funny being taught by those she taught.
She was runner up in a few ABIA awards and did the I DO,I DO TV show in 1996.
Gail has now decided to retire on her 80th birthday in February next year, which will be her 27th year as a Marriage Celebrant, but she will continue to conduct funerals. She has loved being a Celebrant as it fitted in beautifully with all her other endeavours.
She said – Nothing is forever and I think aged 80 is a good time to finish.
Gail also does a lot of voluntary work, as well as enjoying being Nanna to seven beautiful grandchildren. The group she sings with does 11 concerts a month around local (and not so local) nursing homes and they were awarded the Volunteer of the Year Award in 2017. Her group is pictured here:
10 Celebrations ISSUE 114 #3 – 2020
My rather unexpected celebrant journeyContributed by SUZAN FAYLE
It was my younger daughter who put me on the Celebrant path.
She’d reached the age where she was attending many weddings and one day out of the blue, she said: ‘Mum, you’d make a good Celebrant’. High praise from a critical perfectionist I thought!
I was about to retire from my IT job at a university, so I enrolled in the Cert IV and haven’t looked back.
My journey has been wonderful, varied and sometimes crazy.
I joined AFCC right from the start and this excellent, professional organisation has been my main support. From all the fabulous conferences I’ve attended, meeting many inspirational Celebrants, to the Facebook forums and local meetings – I’ve always felt part of a kind and generous group.
My many highlights have included a few surprise ceremonies (to the guests) – including marrying my ex-husband (we divorced in 1981) to his lovely boyfriend in 2018. A definite thrill to be asked!
The ruse was his birthday celebration, so all our children and grandchildren attended and there was much laughter and many (happy) tears.
As a long time supporter of marriage equality, I’ve been so happy to have been asked to officiate at a number of same-sex marriages since January 2018.
I married my younger daughter in a big wedding in 2014 and my older son in a small, ‘secret’ ceremony last Christmas Day. I’ve officiated on beaches, in parks (often navigating steep paths lugging my gear – tip: take a shoe change) and on a large cruise ship.
If I had to choose, I’d say my favourite ceremonies have been the more intimate ones as opposed to the huge productions, but all have been an honour and a privilege.
I’ll miss everything about being a Celebrant, but with four grandchildren and one great-grandchild I’ll be keeping busy!
My daughter-in-law took the photo of Suzan marrying her ex-husband to his husband (Wanchai & Richard) in October, 2018
Benefits of being an AFCC member As well as the wonderful support from other members, I’ve enjoyed the bonus benefits of the Celebrant Suite and the music licence, as well as insurance cover.
But I think it’s been the conferences that have inspired me the most. From my first at the Windsor in Melbourne, as well as in Canberra, Gold Coast, Hobart and Sydney, the information and entertainment has been first class.
My best memory as a new Celebrant was sitting at a table with a group of Celebrants, chatting about our locations. (Some time earlier my daughter had returned from a south coast NSW wedding and said ‘the wedding was wonderful and the celebrant was the BEST!’ I tried to get from her what made this Celebrant so superior, but she couldn’t really articulate why).
The pretty young woman sitting opposite me said she was Jo, a south coast of NSW and Snowy Mountains Celebrant. I jokingly asked her if she’d married my daughter’s friends and named them, and sure enough, she had! I stuck as close as I could to her during the whole conference (whilst not stalking, hopefully) to see if some of her ‘magic’ might rub off on me.
One of many great memories!
Suzan said she
put a note on the
Facebook page
and had sold all her
equipment/assets
within five minutes!
Mailed folder and
certificates to a
gentleman on the
Central Coast and
dropped table,
chairs, PA, stand
etc, to a lovely
Avalon celebrant.
Celebrations 11ISSUE 114 #3 – 2020ISSUE 114 #3 – 2020
It was 1988. It seemed simple to become a Marriage Celebrant. I had the backing of my local federal member, Mr. Robert Tickner MP.
In those days there were quotas and I waited…and waited… and enquired…and enquired…. until December 1994, more than six years later. No training, very little information or government assistance, I was appointed for life and exempted from complying with sub section 46 (1) of the Marriage Act, and there I was….. with a Certificate on my wall!
After 25 years it’s time to hang up the boots that have taken me to so many beautiful places. Places I may never have otherwise visited.
From Cabbage Tree Point at Bundeena NSW, to the Members Stand at the Sydney Cricket Ground, to Shark Island in Sydney Harbour ….. to the banks of the Never-Never Creek at Gleniffer on the road to the Promised Land, to Sacred Mountain Retreat at Valla …… to the Cruising Yacht Club in Adelaide.
In 2018, I conducted a marriage ceremony in a beautiful large church, a first for me. The couple asked my husband Jim to sing The Wedding Song…“He is now to be among you at the calling of your hearts…”.
As well as assisting with my gear, my husband Jim was frequently asked to present the poetry or sing an appropriate love song.
Most of all, I loved the intimate weddings in my own homes, in Bonnet Bay (Sydney), then at Valla Beach (NSW north coast) and in Adelaide where Jim and I now live.
I’ve met so many wonderful couples and many lovely Celebrants, especially through the AFCC.
I’ve been saddened to attend funerals of three grooms.
I’ve been honoured to receive photos of baby arrivals.
It has been a journey that has enriched my life. I hope my ceremonies have also enriched the lives of the couples who trusted me.
An Enriching JourneyContributed by MEG BOSWELL
12 Celebrations ISSUE 114 #3 – 2020
Country Celebrant’s Conundrums or Challenges
It is with regret that I am retiring as a Celebrant this July, due to hubby’s health issues and family obligations, but I have some marvellous memories and should now write a book called “Country Celebrant’s Conundrums or Challenges”.
No doubt from stories I have heard we all have interesting situations to overcome often on a more regular basis than we expect, but I thought I’d share a couple of country ones that will always come to my mind.
For most of my weddings the “norm” has been paddocks, shearing sheds, in the canola crop, home gardens, at local tourist spots or in the bush (not the easiest carrying gear 400m to their special tree), or standing under another’s own Karri tree as the wind drips rain on you, on dam walls, down gravel roads and paths with pet emus trying to eat your lovely wedding stationery, etc etc. Brides who arrived on horses or with the pet calf, grooms on horses with dogs (8), bride in the bucket of a large tractor (they hadn’t practised how she would get out – hmmm that was interesting).
Two Scottish terriers in full plaid outfits that barked the whole time ensuring the guests had no idea what was being said, so I gave up with the PA and used my farm yard voice (otherwise the expensive videographer would never get the words, the dog that went for a swim mid ceremony with rings attached to collar – didn’t lose the rings, but we all got a shower when he came out and shook himself dry !!
There was the day Aboriginal men in full paint and lap cloths welcomed the people ( from overseas) and in the process scared the flower girls into a full melt down, the times when waiting in the bush for up to an hour with 200 Marsh flies (they bite like h…. and thrive on Aeroguard), or with butterflies in baskets by the creek and Mr Tiger Snake sunning himself on the rock nearby, bull ants almost in my pants – the bites on the tops of my legs were there a week.
Even a bride wearing her “Asian” snakes around her arms – with the dress she wore I think she fancied herself as Cleopatra but both her father and I spent more time watching the snakes to ensure they stayed put.
Before the time of same sex marriages, I had a couple marry with their children from previous marriages, but he was a “cross dresser” and they BOTH wore wedding dresses!! She had pink ribbons in her hair, and he had blue ribbons in his. No, we are not country yokels – they had come away for the weekend so they didn’t have to invite ALL the families.
But the best was yet to come and thankfully later in my career, so I coped with it all quite well. It began when I asked at rehearsal for the music to try – it’ll be here tomorrow was the answer. Again city couple have arranged for a large family to have a weekend in the country – lovely place with cabins and large creek flowing through the paddock under trees and pets to feed. Large marquee and fantastic local caterer.
Wedding day – I am set up by the creek, videographer A and photographer B from different companies having issues with one another. Don’t get in my shots!! No, you make sure you’re not in mine!!! Requirement 1 = DIPLOMACY. Phew got that sorted out, OK now where is the music man? Ask friend Tony - “no music” - he says he didn’t know he was doing it. Impromptu 200m dash across the paddock by me to work out something with the bride. Lesson 1 – always have my backup disk and various songs.
Leisurely stroll back down paddock and everyone is good to go.
Well this farm has a lovely mannered Donkey who is often part of the bridal walk and with all her flowers in her hair she arrives.
Celebrations 13ISSUE 114 #3 – 2020ISSUE 114 #3 – 2020
Polish Uncle Bergle has his camera (and limited English) and is determined to take the photos so more PR work done with him, videographer A and photographer B to calm nerves.
By this time Donkey has relieved herself of a LARGE amount of very smelly and runny manure. Groom and guests having trouble blocking noses and then the flies arrived all 20,000 of them I am sure. Donkey owner gets upset as “Annabelle” has never had this trouble before and races 200m up the paddock and back with shovel to clean up.
Parents all in beautiful finery AND high heels, making statements like “why on earth are we out here in this place”, “whose idea was this?” etc.
Finally ready for the bride to come and flower girls lead the way; Uncle Bergle forgets the chat we had and insists on each of the bridal party stopping and getting photos (play the song again).
About the time the bride begins to make her way down the donkey has another release and flower girls loudly proclaim “What is that stink? It is like S..T”. Yes, I quickly and quietly explain it is just that and the donkey has a very bad tummy ache. Owner is upset and talking to Donkey. I move wedding party 5m to the right (any further and we’ll all be in the creek.)
From there everything was perfect. Even managed to harmonise everyone for the wine toasting at the end and Uncle Bergle is in his element toasting everything in Polish and broken English. I think he may have been sampling his flask during the ceremony or possibly just emotional.
Upshot was the guests had found the closed food containers that morning and had fed Annabelle COPIOUS amounts of carrots while they each got selfies with her. Donkey did recover, wedding party hugely happy, videographer and photographer still talking to one another (nicely) and Celebrant
mentally exhausted heads home asap, with dreams of drinking wine on the verandah.
On the 56km drive home I took a gravel road which passes a friend’s farm and was perplexed to see a cow jumping up and down on a fence and all the others watching her so being a farmer’s daughter I stopped and climbed the bank. Got close to her and sure enough the stupid animal had decided to jump the fence and leave home. Probably training for “Cow jumping over the Moon” trials, but her leg was thoroughly mixed up in barb wire and ringlock. Called the owner, but he wasn’t home – his parents (both in their late 80s) came to the rescue and Dad suggests - “You stand on the wire to hold the fence still Mum and Pat (Me) – you hold her head while I extricate the leg”. I am in my finest and dressy shoes, but thought, “what the heck?”.
Neither am I an animal whisperer like they think I am – (the poor cow was just exhausted), but after me holding her in a headlock for about a minute and praying she didn’t move ‘cause she was a whole lot bigger than I thought, Dad snipped the wire, cow did an almighty legs up jump (would have won the trials) and took off back into the paddock to her howling calf.
I called hubby to ensure the wine would be cold and continued on home. Just another wedding day in the country!
Funerals have by their very nature, been more sombre events, although they also have their moments.
Wet paperwork, buglers who missed a note and was reduced to tears, flags blowing photos off coffins; there was also the day the snake wouldn’t move away from the grave, the day the grave digger had forgotten to dig the grave, another day when the new grave digger didn’t dig it wide enough and we had to do the service, send everyone to the wake and then wait for him to come back 28kms and do it properly, then call the family back for the committal.
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On several occasions the graveyards have been totally crawling with black ants’ nests (right beside the new grave of course and having disturbed the land they were all out looking for revenge).
Country people often use humour to get through the adversities that occur.
The craziest was a funeral with the family all travelling three hours from the city and wish to view Mama before the funeral but are on a tight time frame to get back. We had a lot of rain that week, but the grave was dug the afternoon prior and grave digger pronounces that it’s fine. Not long before the family are due to arrive, the Funeral Director sends the other staff member to the cemetery to set up and greet early arrivals. Panic phone call – the grave has a lot of water in it! Ring the grave digger whose machine and pump is close by (because this does happen more often than people realise), but he states “it can’t be that bad, that woman is a townie – she probably over exaggerated!” She assured the Director that she hadn’t and I was asked to go and check while family have viewing. Sure enough at least 30cm (plus) of water in the grave.
Fast track to the local Farm Supplies business where a line-up of farmers are chatting and discussing the cattle prices from the morning’s sale. I don’t usually jump queues, but I drove straight to the front, hopped out and while three farmers were leaning on the counter I cut them off mid-sentence and asked the salesman to fit 3 bales of straw into my car as quickly as he could. Salesman says – “Sorry ma’am only have one and some bales of chaff, what are you needing them for?” “Hmm, I’ll probably get out of here faster and without abuse if I explain what’s happened. Of course farmers are practical people and sure enough they got on board and advised me more chaff would be better – it’ll soak it up quicker. They helped me tie the boot down and with a couple of jokes and some smart comments, they cheerily wave me off – probably gave them all another hours’ worth of conversation at the counter.
Meanwhile the staff member and I lined the bales up with the grave but then – how do we cut the twine. Then I remembered the scissors in the first aid case. Snipped the twine and tipped two in. Darn, they went in slightly crooked and it was all bunched up on one side. The hearse, followed by the family, are arriving so we grabbed two umbrellas and tried to poke the straw around. New lesson – small foldup rake is now an essential tool inside door of hearse, as trying to spread hay with the pointy end of an umbrella is like trying to push floating matchsticks into place with a needle.
I leave to calmly meet the Director and family about 100m from the grave. I explain that we have made Mama a soft bed of straw as there was a “little” bit of water on the bottom. Her coffin still gave a little “Squish” as it landed, but the family was very happy and thanked us, because Mama never learnt to swim even though she grew up on a Greek Island and was always scared of drowning.
Shared happy stories with the family, went back to the office and all collapsed with hot coffee. Then I get home to explain how my car is full of straw and dry chaff.
There have been as many more beautiful services that become so personal with the person’s animals, pet kangaroo right there, under a tree planted when they first bought the farm etc and in this picture is a beautiful mandala – buddhist token made by the family that morning – all from cones, leaves, flowers, vegetables, twigs from the deceased’s garden. A most moving service and the magpies he used to feed, arrived just at the end and began pecking at the mandala. Fitted the gentleman’s philosophy of all things returning to earth perfectly.
Always personal and looking back I feel proud of my ability to adapt to almost any situation as most every Celebrant does or soon learns to.
Being from a country town I have had the honour of naming brothers and sisters and babies of couples I have married; officiated for marriages of all seven members of two families – they were kids I had watched grow up through the years while I was School Registrar and I have sat and chatted about shared memories with others while we arranged their parents or grandparents’ funerals.
I’ve composed and presented memorial services, firefighter’s annual services, ashes ceremonies and annual public remembrance services for anyone who has lost someone, a Bus blessing for the new aged care facility bus, pet funerals and a couple of other obscure requests and they have all been special.
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I have loved this job and am humbled by the testimonials and thankyous I have received in return for what I believe was just showing compassion, listening to stories, writing stories for them and genuinely enjoying meeting the wide scope of people I have been able to help over this time.
I always attended face to face OPD as I learnt so much more than just the required training through the chats over a cuppa and the stories that are shared. And I thank all the other Celebrants for the networking – particularly in the beginning. For a country newby – it was invaluable.
I haven’t had a flat tyre in all these years (although a couple of windscreens were shattered on gravel roads), nor needed another Celebrant to fill in for me on any occasion which is just as well as I was the only Celebrant within 60 to 100kms for many years. Again, I wish everyone the very best and as many good memories as I have in my albums.
Funeral FunnyThis tale relates to the burial of famed composer Beethoven.
A couple of days after his burial, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried.
Terrified, he ran and got the priest to come and listen to it.
The priest bent down close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognisable music from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town Magistrate.
When the Magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment and said” “Ah yes, that’s Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony, being played backwards”.
He listened a while longer and said: “There’s the Eight Symphony and it’s backwards too”. “So the Magistrate kept listening: “there’s the Seventh…..the Sixth…..the Fifth..…”
Suddenly the realisation of what was happening dawned on the magistrate. He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery: “My fellow citizens, there’s nothing to worry about”.
(Are you ready for it??)
“It’s just Beethoven decomposing!”
Contributed by PAT STIEG
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More Retiring ReflectionsContributed by BARRY KLAER
It’s a privilege to be asked to officiate at what is one of the most important events in any two persons’ lives: their wedding ceremony.
Every couple wants to feel encouraged and have peace of mind as the wedding march music begins.
Ten years ago, I embarked on a journey that I believed would be a flourishing business for me. That has not been the case really, however every one of the 53 weddings I officiated were distinctly special, individual and created and crafted with couples to their specific desires. That alone to me was fulfilling.
And not forgetting the Commitment ceremonies, baptisms and funeral celebrations and memorial services.
Highlights – every ceremony had its own highlights:
• A back-yard garden wedding where I became aware that guests were staring, smirking and pointing at my feet. I looked down to see a little Maltese dog, dressed in waistcoat and bow tie sitting between my feet looking up at the bride as she said her vows
• Then there was the little flower girl who had dispersed all of the rose petals three-quarters the way down the aisle and stopped the bridal procession while she went back to pick the scattered petals from behind the bride
• And the groom becoming so emotional when he saw his bride entering the church that the ceremony did not begin for over ten minutes while he composed himself. (I officiated that wedding under hot spot lights with a broken leg in a cast in 40-degree temperature with the air-conditioning unserviceable). Actually there were a few ‘macho’ blokes who ‘lost it’ saying their vows
• I never had the experience of a ‘Bridezilla’
• Officiating a funeral being live streamed to Germany
Lowlights: mistakes – same as Frank, “I made a few, but then, too few too to mention…”.
Locations that helped make wedding ceremonies great:
Tumbling Waters Retreat, Stanwell Tops NSW, and Marcus Hill, Victoria were the most magnificent outstanding locations. Locally (SA), Mt. Lofty House, Ayres House, Glen Ewin Estate, and quite a number of between the vines and lakeside wineries were outstanding locations for weddings.
And I must consider the Botanic Gardens and other civic parks and gardens, back yard garden weddings all unique to the couple being wed, as highpoints.
On the 19th June this year 2020, I will officiate my last wedding, which is that of my youngest daughter Megan and her fiancé Ben. Because of that virus, it will be held at our new home in the country where we have now retired. I’m retiring as a celebrant on June 30th.
With that, I sincerely thank you, all of my colleagues in the AFCC, for the tremendous help, support and guidance in my journey as a Celebrant. I thank all of the AFCC Committees, National and State, who work so hard to make our Association the great informative support that it is. Well done and thank you!
Can you help?I have received a request from a new Celebrant/AFCC member who needs to purchase a microphone and speakers and is wondering if there are any retiring Celebrants who would be selling these off. Any assistance would be greatly appreciated. Please email [email protected] and the information will be passed on.
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My Mother’s Wishes
Contributed by JACKIE SLATER
We all know how hard those of us who do funerals work to make sure that the ceremony we deliver suits the life we are honouring. We spend long hours searching for just the right way to illustrate the personality of the deceased, including their wishes if they are known.
Recently my mother died at the age of 86.
She had suffered from heart problems for many years and although her passing was quick, it was not entirely unexpected.
Mum had been widowed for the last 7 years and had said although she wanted a funeral, she did not want fuss or sorrow. My brother and sister gave me the honour of leading the service, fellow AFCC member Robyn Foster kindly offered to come along in case I needed a little help and I gladly took up her offer: just in case!
I started to work on the ceremony and knew I wanted something special, but not exactly what.
I knew I didn’t want a standard eulogy and on a visit to the residential care facility where mum had lived, I was given a copy of mum’s life story in her own words. It was written by the staff from things mum had told them.
There was my eulogy told by mum herself, I couldn’t do anything better.
I still had to find a way to convey the lady mum was, without ‘making a fuss’ to use her expression.
For as long as I can remember mum was involved in needlework and craft. In her story I found she was taught to knit and sew by her grandmother when she was about five years old. When my brother, sister and I were children, mum knitted us jumpers and cardigans in winter and made all out clothes on her trusty sewing machine in summer. When we grew too old to wear homemade clothes mum discovered the art of patchwork and quilting.
Mum started by hand piecing and quilting before moving on to machine. She made so many quilts that she ran out of storage for them and so gave many away. Many of the quilts mum gave away were used in raffles and raised thousands of dollars for charity.
The Illawarra Quilters Guild, of which mum was a member for many years, gave me a tribute which said in part ‘Doris was a quiet, gentle woman who did beautiful handwork and her machine work was always precise’.
Mum was a founding member of craft group at her local PSA, where she taught sewing and other crafts. She taught the members how to make ‘Wraps of Love’ quilts which are donated to the local hospital so that any parents who have a baby ‘born still’, can have a quilt to wrap their baby in while in hospital and to take home with them when they go.
By accident one day, mum discovered machine embroidery and that became her latest passion.
She made everything from lace book marks and tablecloths, to an embroidered patchwork quilt.
After a few years mum’s eyesight deteriorated until she could not see to thread the machine needles, so being taught never to sit with your hands doing nothing, the knitting needles came out again. This time mum would knit squares which family and friends sewed together to make blankets for the homeless and the old folk. 86 years herself and she would still knit for the old folk.
Sitting talking about mum with my sister, we both had a ‘lightbulb’ moment at the same time. Her quilts meant so much to mum that we would take them to the funeral home, put them over the back of the seats and we would feel like mum had her arms wrapped around us during her service.
We also took her knitting, her needles had on them one square half-finished and she had stopped knitting in the middle of a row. Her knitting was put on a table at the front of the chapel.
On the day of her service as her family and friends arrived they admired mum’s work, talked about the times they sat with her as she pieced or knitted and their memories of mum and how much she meant to them.
I had done what my mum had asked, she had her funeral with no fuss, no sadness but a great appreciation for the beautiful work she had enjoyed for so many years.
The attached photo was taken by Hansen & Cole Funeral Directors and is used with permission.
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The amount of jokes about coronavirus virus
has reached worrying numbers. Scientists claim we are in the
middle of a pundemic.
“I miss You”I thought I saw you the other day – when walking in the mall.I followed you and saw you there – at least that’s what I thought.Your funny cap, your long leg strides, as you walked along.But it wasn’t you, just looked like you, and my heart was torn in two.
I heard a song the other day, one we used to sing.I heard your voice as you sang away – echoing in my head.I tried not to listen, but I couldn’t – it just went round and round.And when it stopped, my tears did flow – and the song remained a while.
I was at a place the other day – where we used to go.The long day trips each weekend – oh how we loved the snow.I took a breath and met you there – in my memories that fell,Upon my mind, upon my soul, and gathered there awhile.
It’s times like these I remember you and sometimes it makes me smile,But often not, as the tears that flow, come tumbling from my eyes.I do believe we’ll meet again - in that fair land one day.Then memories will come alive and I’ll embrace you once again.
Written and contributed by CHERYL WEEKS
Have a question?Contact details for:Marriage Law and Celebrants Section1800 550 343Outside Australia: +61 2 6141 [email protected]: 02 6141 32463-5 National Circuit BARTON ACT 2600
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Next edition of CelebrationsDo you have a story, article or funny anecdote about your celebrancy journey. If you like reading other people’s stories, then others will like yours!
Please send photos if you can as well and like the contributors for this edition, your article could be there for all to read/see in Celebrations.
Deadline for the next edition of Celebrations will be 22nd August, 2020, so there will be a lot of time to put your thinking caps on to come up with some ideas. But in the meantime, please feel free to send any articles and photos you may have to: [email protected] before that date.
The Last Quiz This Edition’s QuizIf you would you like to win your choice of either an AFCC Wedding Resources Guide or a Funeral Resources Guide – then why not try your hand at this edition’s Quiz? If you’ve entered, or won before, it doesn’t matter – try again!
Send your entry to [email protected] (and don’t forget to nominate which prize you would prefer). As always, current members of the National Committee are ineligible to enter.
It’s easy and it doesn’t cost anything to enter and you could be the lucky winner. Entries will ONLY be accepted between 1st August and 15th August, 2020.
1. Who wrote a lovely story about her mother’s passing and the funeral?
2. What is the email address if you want to get an insurance Certificate of Currency?
3. What topic did Brian Richardson cover?
4. Who wrote: I miss you?
5. Who had a rather unexpected Celebrant journey?
6. What did Gail Brigden study at age 16?
7. What is the deadline for the next edition of Celebrations?
8. What is the phone number if you want to call the Marriage Law and Celebrants Section?
9. We don’t have staff – what do we have?
10. Who was the composer mentioned in the Funeral Funny?
The lucky winner of the last quiz was: Joylene Goldsworthy, from Flinders Park, SA who has now received her prize of a Funeral Resources Guide.
Answers to the last quiz:
1. What is the cost of renewing AFCC membership before 30th June this year? $155.00 inc GST
2. Who wrote about ceremonies in the park? Brian Richardson and Stacey Maguire
3. Name the two Celebrants who co-conducted a wedding in New Zealand? Irene Harrington and Phillipa Linton
4. Who won the last quiz? Beverley Unitt
5. Who wrote about love in the time of COVID? Sophie Davies
6. Who conducted a wedding in South America? Michal Dillon
7. Who provided networking solutions for COVID-19? Hilary Van Eldik
8. Who gave advice on sound equipment? David Nettle
9. What is the deadline for the next edition of Celebrations? 30th June, 2020
10. What is the code you must quote to get a discount for your OPD with The Gordon? MC021
20 Celebrations ISSUE 114 #3 – 2020
New members
Estelle Muspratt Belconnen ACTKirsten Sachs Kambah ACTJulie Constable Port Macquarie NSWAnissa Darke Bonville NSWKim Hill Buxton NSWVal Lambert Googong NSWRod Strong Narrabri NSWBradley Vincent Kotara NSWZena Attasingh Greenbank QLDCheryl Barron Noosa Heads QLDKaren Betts Mount Perry QLDWendy Burrell Mulgowie QLDBrenda Fisher Berserker QLDAdrian French Robina QLDAoife Harper Wellington Point QLDRachel Harwood Tallebudgera Valley QLDJudith Hawthorne Eatons Hill QLDMarilyn Jackson Nerang QLDTed Johnson Gaythorne QLDSusan Jones Varsity Lakes QLDFabian Lizza Palm Beach QLDDebbie McCarthy Samford QLDSharon Munn Norman Park QLDKelly Sanders Centenary Heights QLDCraig Smith Merrimac QLDTuli Stacey Woody Point QLDSuzanne Forder Gawler South SAEllise Saunders South Plympton SABirralee King Promised Land TASSusan Lush-Saunders Huonville TASCatherine Watson Newstead TASPamela Anderson Buninyong VICLynne-Maree Donald Princetown VICGilly McInnes Monbulk VICDavini Malcolm North Warrandyte VICMaria Mastos West Footscray VICMaria Papoulias Ivanhoe VICCheryl Rapson Ararat VICAllison Roberts Horsham VICElisa Westein Templestowe Lower VICGail Barnard Mandurah WACathryn Elliott Bunbury WAMary-Anne Goyder Mullaloo WAHelen Mansfield Butler WARebecca Mitchell-McCoy Oakford WAMaureen Nicholson Dunsborough WA
Set out below, is a list of AFCC’s newest members – new members for the period from 14th May to 6th July, 2020.
Welcome to you all. We encourage you to utilise all the benefits available, especially the AFCC website and your personal mini website, which will allow you to make the most of your membership. And don’t forget, any queries can be sent to [email protected]
