~ Extension Bulletin 836

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WHEN IS MIDDLE CHILDHOOD? ucked between early childhood and adolescence is the unique period of middle" chi_ldhood. Children ages 8 to 11 years (ages 8, 9, and 10),

· sometimes referred.to as "school-age," are in middle childhood. During these years, children experience some very important developmental milestones.Three of the most significant changes that characterize middle

childhood are: . . .

• Movement of children out of the home and into the world of peers and other adults:

• Mental growth into adult thinking and communication.

Increased physical skills and participation· in games.

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EXTENSION

RELATIONSHIPS WITH PEERS uring the middle years, children become more independent of their parents and grow more attached to peers. They begin to ini­tiate relationships with people entirely on their own. They begin to develop a good

understanding of social rules and practice skills such as listening, caring and consideration. They come to understand that relationships involve give and take and that if they wish to have friends, they must be a friend. Social skills of middle childhood require com­promise, communication, and cooperation.

The peer group becomes an unportant part of the school-ager· s expanding world. This importance grows through the later years of this period. Each peer group has its own traditions, activities, values, acceptable behavior patterns, and rules of conduct. Participation in a peer group is an indication of healthy social development and is an important source of socializa­tion for children. Children will become interested in joining clubs, gangs, or secret societies. Boys physi­cally demonstrate their friendship by wrestling and pushing; girls hold hands, giggle and share secrets.

There are at least five ways that the peer group in middle childhood helps to prepare children for adult life.

1.PROVIDING COMPANIONSHIP. Children at this age prefer to spend free time with friends. The peer group teaches children many skills such as to give and take in social settings. ).TESTING BEHAVIOR. Children at this age begin to challenge rules and limits. The peer group lets children explore their independence from adult standards.

:J. TRANSM11TING KNOWLEDGE. The peer group transmits information that children will more readily believe than if offered by parents. This information may be correct or it may be inaccurate or wrong.

4. TEACHING RULES. The peer group helps children to learn acceptable behavior patterns and logical con­sequences.

5. DEVELOPING SEX ROLE IDENTITY. The peer group teaches "boyness" and "girlness," reinforcing traditional ideas and standards of sex role behavior. The boys "roughhouse" while the girls show girlish, feminine behavior. Sex role identity at this stage includes excluding the opposite sex. Children spend time with members of the same sex. However, by the end of middle childhood, kids begin to develop more ·

positive feelings about and friendships with members of the opposite sex.

As children begin spending more time away from parents and with their peers, being like their friends becomes very important. They do not want to be different.Conformity or agreement reaches an all time high. Children want to fit in and they'll go to practi­cally any extreme to go along with the group.

At the same time, parents begin to lose their "always right" status in their children's eyes. This generally happens about the ninth year. Children show resent­ment and disappointment through hostile, sarcastic remarks when they begin to realize their parents make mistakes, too. Despite these negative assessments of parents' abilities, 8- to 11-year-olds express a general satisfaction and approval of their relations with par­ents. Their attitudes toward parents are generally more favorable or neutral than unfavorable.

~------~~~~~------~----~~--~--~-----M.IDDLECHILDHOOD THINKING AND COMMUNICATING

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• uriosity about the environment characterizes preschoolers' learning. This curiosity lays the foundation for the mental development that occurs in middle chlldhood. School-aged chil­dren slowly begin to understand abstractions,

symbols, and concepts. This allows them to understand and use certain principles or relationships between events and things. They can now make sense of ideas in their own minds and make them part of their value and belief systems. They learn to add and subtract, classify and order, apply rules oflogic to reach conclusions, and apply rules to their own behaviors.

Two other major learning events occur dunng middle childhood-conservation and reversibility. Conser­vation means that the child understands that some­thing retains the same properties even though it can be

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rearranged differently or reshaped. For example, clay can be flattened or rolled in a ball but it is still clay. Reversibibty means that certain operations can be completed in reverse order and end up the same. Science experiments such as the process of freezing and thawing water help children learn to reverse the direction of their thinking, gaining understanding of reversibility. The children can think more logically and are not so bound by the appearance of things.

These years have been described as the period that children develop a sense of industry, that is, a sense of being able to make things and accomplish tasks. They are expanding their skills and abilities. They go off to school, learn to read and write, take up hobbies/ collections, start lessons and join groups. They are busy and productive and they experience pleasure in what they can do and produce. If children at this age have few experiences of success andaccomplishmenr, they develop a sense of inferiority. That is, they feel their efforts are doomed to failure and that they are useless. Chtldren in middle childhood experience the widening world of children. They now spend signifi­cant portions of each day in places away from home, particularly in school. In addition, children are corning into contact with many adults other than parents, such as teachers and coaches. Thus, the children have an increasing number of adult models. If the balance of experiences is positive, children develop a sense of competence-the feeling that they can use their skills and abilities to accomplish goals, free of feelings of unimportance.

It is in this elementary school period that they adopt family and social values. These values become part of their own internal system of thinking. A strong attach­ment to a principled, self-directed adult who not only describes approved behaviors but practices them in everyday life is the most important factor in helping children internalize and obey rules. The behavior of adults is more important than words. However, verbal statements about right and wrong also help children to see thmgs from another person's point-of-view, that is, to take the role of another. They begin to link moral thoughts and attitudes with the rewards that follow approved behavior.

DEVELOPMENT OF PHYSICAL SKILLS uring these years, height and weight in­crease slowly and evenly. Children grow about two to three inches in height each year. Body proportion also changes. In contrast to the chunky body of the

preschooler, during' the middle years the trunk be­comes slimmer, the chest becomes broader, and the aims and legs thin out.

Changes in physical appearance are most noticeable in children during the later years of this stage, i.e., during pre-adolescence. This is when children begina growth spurt. This growth spurt toward adolescence may begin as early as age 9 for girls, even though it usually starts around age 101 /2. For boys, it begins around age 11 1/2. Before the growth spurt, boys and girls are equal in strength. Afterwards, boys are stronger. Chil­dren usually become very concerned about what is happening to them during this time. They may wonder and worry, "Am I nonnal?" After the growth spurt and puberty begin, children also experience increased interest in sex.

Physical development during middle childhood is reflected m children's attempts to master a variety of skills. Their motor skills-strength, speed, balance, eye-hand coordination and flexibility-improve as their muscles develop. Playing ball, jumping rope, and biking are iniportant activities for developing large motor skills. As smaller muscles mature, children begin to enjoy activities like hammering, playing musical instruments, and putting puzzles together. It is important that children have opportunity to practice and develop physical motor skills. Many peer group activities emphasize, and peer group acceptance is dependent upon, the attainment of physical motor skills. Success also encourages a willingness to try new and different skills.

PROPLEMS/CONCERNS ... ome behaviors that parents consider prob-s lems occur so frequently that they are almost

the pattern for this age period. During middle childhood, children express emotions in­tensely. This can make them behave in so­

cially inappropriate ways. Mothers of 8- to 11-year-olds have described their children as being restless a.nd stubborn, demanding attention, and being willing to fight to get their own ways. Children at these ages have

MIDDLE CHILDHOOD

also been described as being afraid to do the wrong 1----------------­things, unable to take criticism, and easily hurt. Throughout the years from 5 to 11, boys and girls are active and restless as well as sensitive and fearful. Boys are more likely to have problems with over-activity and temper t;antrums, and girls are more likely to hold their feelings in.

Children at these ages do have fears. Their fears become less fantasy-based and more tied to the difficulties of everyday life, centering around school, family and friends. Issues that concern them may include loss of parent, fights between parents, and disagreements among family members. Children's sensitivity is reflected in their distress at embarrassing situations such as wetting therr pants, being caught in a theft, or being ridiculed in class. Children at this age worry about grades and tests, about being retained in a class, and making mistakes.

Knowing that antisocial behaviors and fears are com­mon during middle childhood does help parents relax. Parents who realize that many children have these troubles are more understanding of their children and of themselves as parents.

TIPS FOR PARENTS ven though children are beginning to pull away from their parents during middle child­hood, they still need (and want) parents' supervision, teaching, and guidance. Follow­

ing these tips can help make your job as a parent a bit easier and lead to more effective parenting. 1. ENCOURAGE C:.ROUP ACTIVITIES AND PARTICIPATION. Parents help children to grow when they accept their growing independence and support their growing interest in peers. 2. CONTINUE TO GUIDE CHILDREN. Keep rules, restrictions and limits reasonable and in the child's best interest. Use discipline techniques that help chil­dren accept rules so they can "parent" themselves as they move away from the family more and more. J. OFFER SUPfORT WHEN CHILDREN HAVE CONFLICTS WITH PEERS. Discuss moral decisions and peer rejection with your child: This helps children to deal with shortcomings, criticisms, and defeats when you're not there. 4.PROVIDEOPPORTUNITIESFORVOURCHILD TO LEARN NEW SKILLS. Encourage him or her to try new activities and to develop interests and talents.

S. SUPPORT YOUR CHILD'S EFFORTS TO LEARN AND TO DO WELL IN SCHOOL. Provide a stimulat­ing family environment and be involved in your child's learning process. Listen to your child read, check over completed homework, and participate m school-related activities. Model verbal skills and good work habits. Stress achievement in school and provide guidance on how to perf orrn well. All of these activi­ties help children to perform better.

6. PROVIDE SUPPORT AND COMFORT WHEN YOUR CHILD DOES FAIL AT A GIVEN TASK OR ACHIEVING A GOAL. Avoid excessive criticism, punishment, .and expressions of disappointment and disgust. Do not expect so much from your child that he or she is bound to fail.

7. PREPARE CHILDREN FOR THE PHYSICAL CHANGES THEY WILL EXPERIENCE DURING MIDDLE CHILDHOOD. Assure them that these changes (for example, pubic hair, oily skin, pimples, and voice changes) are normal. This will help to relieve their anxieties about what is happening to them. It is also an opportunity to share accurate information about their physical development and emerging sexuality.

8.ENCOURAGECH ILDRENTO DEVELOP ACCEPT~ ABLE ATTITUDES AND BEHAVIORS. Provide ex­periences at home that will help them develop social skills and learn to be responsible. Examples include taking tums, practicing good table manners, and doing chores. Do not spoil your child. Others seldom like spoiled, pampered children because of their attitudes and behaviors.

9. HELP CHILDREN LEARN TO EXPRESS THEIR EMOTIONS. Children need to know that it is okay to feel different ways but that feelings must be expressed appropriately. One way to help children learn this is to be a good example (i.e., role model). For example, instead of yelling and slamming doors when you are angry, learn to express your own anger in a "quiet" way: "I am very angry with you right now" or "That really makes me mad." It is also important to listen to your child.

10. "BE THERE~ FOR YOUR CHILD. This means being more of a ''psychological helper," someone who offers support and guidance, than a physical helper, someone who does or assists with the tasks or jobs at hand.

TASKS FOR PARENTS ust as children grow and develop, parents must grow and develop, too. They must adjust their parentmg strategies as children grow older. What works for a I-year-old probably won't work for an 11-year-old. Tasks you must ac­

complish in orderto successfully parent your children in middle childhood include:

1.DEVELOPINGAN UNDERSTANDING OF YOUR· SELF AS A PARENT. This includes being aware of how you react to your children and how the children perceive you as a parent. Come to giips with your strengths and limitations as a parent.

l. EVALUATING YOUR CHILDREN. Begin to get a more accurate picture of who your children are and who they can become. Thenre-evaluateyourgoalsanddreruns for your children in light of each child's potential.

J. INTERPRETING THE WORLD TO YOUR CHIL· DREN. A major task here is to decide what facts you want to teach, what behavior and manners you wish your child to develop, and what values you want to instill. School-age children want to know more about the world around them: Why do some people lose their hair? Why do people have different colored skin? Whydopeoplekidrlapchildren?Whydochildrendie? The questions of children at these ages can be pro­found and direct. Parents continually find themselves explaining their views of the world to their children.

4. DECIDE HOW INVOLVED TO BE IN YOUR CHILDREN'S LIVES. During middle childhood, chil­dren need less physical care and supervision and more psychological support. Parents must adjust. They must decide whether to directly participate in children's activities or to support their activities. For example, do you become the coach of the team or a fan at the game? Do you teach your children piano or drive them to piano lessons?

S. FIND AN APPROPRIATE BALANCE BETWEEN FREEDOM AND CONTROL. Parents of school-age children have to decide when to step in and say "no" and when to allow the child to make his or her own decisions and accept the results. Another aspect of finding an ;:i.ppropriate balance is deciding how much independence to allow the school-ager. When is it okay for them to stay home without a baby sitter? Are they old enough to ride their bikes, by themselves, to the store?

How parents handle these tasks varies. The maturity and needs of the children must be considered along with the parents' needs, interests, tirne, and abilities.

CONCLUSION hildren in middle childhood (ages 8 to 11) are busy learning-learning about the outside world, learnmg about their changing bodies, learning how to express themselves, learnmg how to be a friend.

They need the loving support and guidance of parents to help them through these years of transi­tion. This is the time to instill values, encourage skills, and introduce your child to the world. Knowing what to expect, understanding yourself as a parent, and making necessary :;i.djustments in your parentmg style are crucial to the positive growth and development of your child in m1dd1e childhood.

REFERENCES Bigner, J. J. (1985). Parent-child relations· An in­

troductzon to parenting (2nd ed.). New York, NY: Macmillan.

Brooks, J.B. (1987). The process of parenting (2nd ed.). Palo Alto, CA: Mayfield.

Erikson, E. (1963). Childhood and society. New York, NY: W. W. Norton.

Galinsky, E. (1981). Between generations: The stages of parenthood. New York, NY: Beckly Book.

Weigel, R. (1985). Parenting and the changing school-ager (Pm 1216). Ames: Iowa State Uni­versity, Cooperative Extension Service.

Williams, J., & Stith, M. (1980). Middle childhood: Behavior and development. New York: MacMillan.

WRllTEN BV Kathy K. Oliver, Hardin County Extension Agent, Home Economics, Kathryn Beckham Mims, Ph.D., Family Life Specialist, Ohio State University Extension

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M(f~DDLE~

CHILD~QOD S·TO 11·YEAR'OLDS

All educational programs and activities conducted by Ohio State University Extension are available to all potential clientele on a nondiscrimina­tory basis without regard to race, color, creed, religion, sexual orientation, national origin, sex, age, handicap or. Vietnam-era veteran status.

Issued in furtherance of Cooperative Extension work, Acts of May 8 and June 30, 1914, in cooperation with the U.S. Department of Agriculture, · Keith L. Smith, Director, Ohio State University Extension, ·