Lessons of the Wounded Warrior

7/29/2019 Lessons of the Wounded Warrior

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CONTENTS

Authors Note

Prologue: Lesson of the Intolerant Mind

1

Lesson of the Diversity Imperative

2

Lesson of the Universal Defensive Reflex

3

Lesson of the Wounded Warrior

4

Lesson of the Primordial Brain

5

Lesson of the Reasoning Brain

Epilogue: The Wounded Warrior Revisited


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Authors Note

When you grow up with a billboard on your back that says Im different, creatures of all types get a

kick out of making you miserable.

This is Raines voice, the protagonist in my story - a young girl symbolizing every wounded warrior who

battles against rigid rules of behavior, beliefs and beauty.

My allegory, LESSONS of the WOUNDED WARRIOR, stems from working in the trenches with clients.

Each day, I am struck by the higher purpose of therapy interventions. If an angry, hostile man exhibits a

greater tolerance towards the Raines of his world when he leaves my office -if he is kinder, gentler - I

have added a small dose of humanity back to humans. Im not simply changing the chemistry of the

brain, but transforming one mind at a time- the moral compass of mankind.

Consider the possibilities: If millions, or even billions, of people experience this personal transformation,

would a critical mass be reached that accelerates the healing of our universal woes? When me vs. me

changes to me accepting me when you and I embrace our unique journeys - a pebble is dropped in the

brook of humanity that changes it forever.

This human-to-human intervention is the most potent force for prodding positive changes in a

multicultural Universe.

Each of my characters represents this vast, untapped potential of the brain to transcend primitive

instincts of intolerance towards self and others through personal discovery. This transcendence is

exemplified in the Six Lessons of the Wounded Warrior.

Dr. G - the sixteen foot guru to Raines family - is a metaphor for the heights we can reach through the

infinite capacity of our minds. What stands in the way of this lofty goal is the King of all reflexes: The

compulsive drive to survive. To our emotional brains, a stick in the grass is always a rattlesnake ready to

strike (Lesson of the Primordial Brain). When we slay this instinct, reason and inspiration thrive.

Through the lens of the brains opposing reflexes fight and flight vs. relax and reason you will follow

Dr. Gs methods for teaching Raine and her parents, Cat and Tortue, in tapping the infinite capacity of

mind, body and spirit.

LESSONS of the WOUNDED WARRIOR is for anyone who has endured the stings of rejection in any of its

formsand strives to transform this inner panic into empowerment.

Devour this story like a sumptuous literary meal, and add your inimitable pebble to the ever changing

brook of humankind.

John J. Parrino, Ph.D


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CHARACTERS

Each animal/character in this allegory represents a componentof the self.

Cat, the tiger: Fighter

Tortue, the turtle: Avoider

Raine, the hybrid: Wounded Warrior

Dr. G, the giraffe: Healer

Sigmund, the myna bird: Rational Thinker


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Prologue: Lesson of the Intolerant Mind


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My dad is a reptile. Not in a bad way like rattlesnakes, alligators or other scary creatures.Really, hes rather passive and mild-mannered. Dad is, well, a turtle. His family migrated to the

States from Quebec. Sometimes he speaks English with a pretty good French accent and insists

on being called Tortue, his birth name. Most of the time, hes just Tort.

Mom is not a reptile. Thats a surprise, Im sure. Shes a mammal like you, except a bit lower

on the evolutionary scale. Moms a tiger and her name is Cat, which makes sense since shes a

feline, a rather large one at that. Shes not the least bit shy and quite the opposite of Tort. The

big Cat is expressive and aggressive, an animal who doesnt mind a good fight. I can vouch for

that and so can dad.

Im Raine, their offspring, with the emphasis on the off part. Yea, Ill bet youre dying to know

what I look like. Ill get to that later. For now, lets just say that Im a bit different. And dont

ask how Cat and Tort got together to conceive me in the first place. Mom and dad making love!

Sorry but my mind refuses to go there. TMI, if you know what I mean. Can you imagine your

parents doing it? Okay then, lets move on.

Cat and Tort were as stunned as anyone by the bizarre twist of fate that brought them

together, which you will discover in this pretty fascinating story. Im biased, of course, but

youve got to admit: This is not your run-of-the-mill romance.

Im told that most animals couldnt wrap their small brains around the idea of a mammal and a

reptile getting married, so there were nasty whispers in the background of their lives.

Apparently, mom and dad were very much in love and totally oblivious to the whole rumor mill.

On their wedding day, Torts excitement soared like a Pavarotti high C when his ravishing Catwalked down the aisle.

Here comes my big, hairy bride! he screeched for the entire world to hear.

That says it all, dont you think?


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********

The small-brainers felt that the nuptial was pretty weird and then, as they said, they had some

hybrid of a kid. I guess thats me, the hybrid. Maybe mom and dad should have named me Hy

instead of Raine, but it was pouring the day I was born. So much for advanced planning.

Anyway, for the xenophobic, the burning question just hung out there like dirty underwear on a

clothesline.

What the hell were they thinking?

Well, theres a perfectly sound answer to that question. It came from a magnificent doctor,

who happens to be a giraffe. That sounds strange, I know, but try to be open-minded. Dr. G

thats what his adoring fans call him is not your ordinary cud-chewing creature. This guy

attended the finest academic institutions in North America and earned a number of fancy

degrees.

The Doctor explains the rationale for this unique union of Cat and Tort in a perfectly poetic way.It stems from the Freudian principle of the unconscious mind and new stuff from

Neuroscientists about the brain, which he explained to mom and dad, and they tried to impart

to me. But thats where it stopped, so dont expect any of that technical stuff here. Youll get it

straight from the giraffes massive and prolific mouth. Ill give you my feeble, Raine version.

Cat and Tort are opposites in the animal kingdom, an emotional, confrontational tiger and a

logical, repressive turtle with a built-in ability to run for cover. Fight vs. Flight, as the talented

Dr. G might put it. Different, yes! But mysteriously hot for each other. I cant see it, buttheyre just mom and dad to me.


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So they fall in love, get married, and have moi. Suddenly, stress hits them like, you know, a

bunch of yucky craters that erupt on your face the day of the prom. Thats right, animals do go

to proms.

Cat and Tort were at the brink of marital mayhem, and my fragile self was braced for a personal

trauma as well. Their big challenge came from those gargantuan personality differences

between them, right? Thats where the fab giraffe comes to the rescue. The tall, eccentric

genius guides them through the really tough times.

Youve got to meet this giant of a guy yourself. I mean, if you have emotional issues like

anxiety, traumatic memories and marital stress. And who doesnt these days? Heck, Im just a

kid and suffer from two out of three of those pesky problems already. Yea, lifes a bitch andthen you have to see a shrink.

Cat and Tort the dynamic duo - contend that Dr. G is brilliant, tempestuous, empathetic,

wacky and wildly effective. The towering therapist thinks of himself as a private investigator of

the mind, a brain specialist who studies that marvelous three-pound mass of tissue that works

down under, like the crew in bowels of a nuclear sub.

The big Docs sense of humor is legendary. The duo described a few of his wacky therapy

techniques, but his ludicrous, mind-blowing exerciseWhos the ***hole in This Relationship?

is my all-time favorite. This tells you a little more about Raine.

Mom and dad tend to be a bit more serious than me, their off-spring. I suppose that comes

with the trials and tribulations of aging. They insisted that I plug the pivotal message of their

journey and put it this way: Its about accepting, embracing and loving our differences. My

friend from Montreal would say: Aimer la difference!


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Okay, so heres the deal about my looks. Im a cross between a tiger and a turtle, a mlange if

you will. So what would you expect? A muscular, hairy, low-to-the-ground, volatile creature

that can break your neck with a sudden life-ending lunge.

Not really. Thats just to create a little drama. Im pretty mild-mannered like dad, and rather

unique looking, some say in a good way. Not as large and hairy as mom, or as short as dad. I

have cat-like features and a tortoises hard shell, the best of both animals. The down side is that

Im bullied by creeps that dont get my unique looks anddivergent view of the world. Thats

when I want more of moms personality.

Oh yes, I almost forgot. Cat and Tort had another request for their story: Please start with Dr.

G, they said. Hes the centerpiece of the tale. Without the big guy, there would be little to talk

about. After I met the giant of the jungle, I understood what they meant.

Without further ramblings by Raine, heres the story extraordinaire. I hope you learn some

good stuff along the way and have a fun time doing it.


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Lesson of the Intolerant Mind

Small brains have difficulty with change and diversity.


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The Towering Dr. G

Dr. G, a sixteen foot, aging giraffe was sprawled awkwardly on a couch half his size. Cat andTort sat on a love seat waiting anxiously for the Doctor to start. The towering Doctor started

with

Can we begin?

The giraffe paused and cocked his massive head towards the wall that displayed his numerous

degrees.

Of course we can begin. Im the damned Shrink here.

Cat grumbled and Tort winced at the comment. Dr. G slipped his glasses down from his

forehead and looked more closely at the tense couple.

Wellwhat have we here? he asked rhetorically.

Ah, yes, my secretary said there was a new couple in the waiting room, a tiger and a turtle.Very interesting. Ive never seen this particular combination before.

Dr. G paused and smiled at them.


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Well, what the hell difference does it make. Lets move on. How can I assist you today?

Cat, a bit unhappy with the giraffes demeanor, began.

Well Doctor, weve come here to get some help for our marriage.

Of course, of course, of course! the Dr. G snapped and swiftly sat up.

Help! Thats what everyone wants from me.

The couple, stunned by his aggressive tone, sank deeper into the love seat.

Dr. G, struck by their reaction, stopped for a moment of reflection: Doctor, he said under his

breath. What is your problem? You are being a bit tough on these newcomersyes.

Vat the hell, vy not let it go! said a voice from across the room. And then again, Vat the hell,

vy not let it go!

Dr. G turned towards the bird cage in the far corner of the office. A myna glared at him from

atop a perch. It was the size of a lean crow, a mix of dark and light browns. The giraffe, an

admirer of the great Sigmund Freud, had trained it to articulate a single, unforgettable phrase,

which he always repeated twice. The bird blurted it out - on cue - when the Doctors body

language exuded tension.

The mynas learned response always followed a perceived gaff by the giraffe. The command

challenged him to sidestep his neurotic drive to be the perfect guru, to let worries go and move


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on. Siggy, as he called it, was a fine-feathered, unconditionally loving friend, a therapeutic aid of

his own making.

Danke replied the multilingual giraffe, moving closer to the couple. He then asked moresoftly,

So tell me about this unique marriage. What is the problem here?

Were so very different Doctor, Cat said. Im afraid the things that brought us together are

now tearing us apart.

Go on he said, peering at Cat over his glasses.

Tort was such a good listener, so caring and relaxed when we met. I was shocked when he

shut me out so easily. Doc, he drives me up a tree. Sometimes I just want to pull him out of his

shell and tell him how hurt and angry I am. How deceived I feel. And,

Okay, okay, thats good Cat. I see that you are the expressive one in the family. So, lets move

on to the turtle. Or, uh Tort. And what about you my little one? What do you feel about this?

Tort barely peeked from his shell. After a long pause, he finally spoke.

Shes out of control Doc. I cant handle all the turmoil. She growls, she snorts, she lunges. Weseemed so compatible when we met. Now Im truly panicked about the differences between

us. I just dont know what she wants from me.


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Want! roared Cat. What I want is a friggin mate, someone to share a life with. Not a

constipated shell of a partner in perpetual state of shock. Geez! Do you see what I mean about

him?

Tort pulled himself in for cover.

Yes, yes, yes. Of course, I see what you mean about this relationship. It doesnt take Sigmund

Freud, the great father of psychiatry, to diagnose the tenacious Tiger and Turtle Behavior

Pattern.

The giraffe looked down to his antique coffee table, and smiled at the bronze bust of the

famous analyst.

Before we get into that dastardly habit, let me tell you about compatibility and differences and

marital stress. You seem to be stuck on these points, without even knowing it.

The Doctor paused to clean his glasses, and adjust his elongated paunch on the couch.

It is obvious that the two of you are in a state of shock right now, and why shouldnt you be.

You chose each other for perfectly good reasons, fell in love and married. Then BAM! Within a

few months, Dr. Jekyll imbibed the marital potion and transformed into Mr. and Mrs. Hyde.

What a surprise, eh? But it should not really be a surprise. Let me tell you why.

Dr. G writhed uncomfortably on the tiny couch, then stood to stretch his body and banged his

head on a beam in the ceiling.


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These damned buildings, he complained. Constructed for only those tiny shrinks. Ah, but

thats redundant, isnt it? So let us continue.

In the first place, all animals in the early phase of love suffer from a very grave disability.

I call it Early Relationship Brain Dysfunction.

He paused for a laugh, smile, a belch, anything.

Very clever diagnosis, dont you think? he tried once again.

All was quiet from the passive duo.

Oh well, I see that I must explain, so listen very carefully. At first, we are in state of perpetual

bliss that blinds us from seeing the reality of our partners. Yes, from perceiving them as they

truly are. We scientists suspect this has something to do with excess hormones. You know,

testosterone and estrogens and that other sexy stuff.

Eh, eh, eh, the Doctor said, his eyebrows flapping up and down. .

A smile emerged from the heretofore angry duo.

Sex always gets them, he thought and mouthed to the bust: Thank you Dr. Freud.

The conscious mind is blind, but the brain still knows what it is doing. No one ever fools the

unconscious. It is much smarter than any of us.


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The tall one turned away and took a breath that seemed to suck every ounce of air out of the

room.

So you see, it is very simple. You choose each other for a very good reason and your

brainwell, it helps you ignore anything that might scare you away from each otherfrom

making a choice. So, tell me my little frustrated friends

Dr. G stopped abruptly, and in a dramatic move, got right in their faces.

Would you have come together if you could foresee the nasty little habits you were about to

discover in each other?

Cat and Tort looked at each other and in unison: Early Relationship Brain Dysfunction.

Cat growled: Damn it! That makes perfect sense. I think we had that.

Tort nodded in agreement.


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********

The Doc sat back on the couch and continued.

It is a beautiful trick by the unconscious mind to get us involved in a very difficult endeavor.

Ultimately - and you must trust me on this - your brain will make something good happen for

you, and for the rest of your little world.

The doctors discourse put Cat at the edge of her seat, and Tort ventured cautiously out of his

shell.

You mean this is supposed to be happening. That its actually very natural?

Yes, Yes, Yes! my tiger and turtle. We all go through this sooner or later. Reality. Stress.

Shock. And a very intense struggle for control and power. You see, when stress hits the

relationship, our most hidden vulnerabilities rise to the surface. Then your brain says: So what

are you going to do about this? Fight? Flight? Or find out what the hell is going on? Oh yes!

Its a grand opportunity my friends. The challenge of a lifetime. Tell meare you up for it? Or

do I have my secretary lift me off of this crazy couch and go on to my next case?

The doctor stood up and moved towards the door as if to terminate the session. Then he

methodically turned his massive body around and said,

But before you decide, you must remember: I will demand 100 percent from both of you. That

is 200 percent. So my little onesshall we begin?


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Remarkably, Cat and Tort were so captivated by Dr. Gs discourse that their tension had

subsided.

Tort, choking back tears, looked at her partner.

Im certainly willing if you are Cat.

Tears welled up in the tigers eyes.

Of course I am, you silly turtle. And they embraced.

Wonderful, the doctor shouted..

His enormous grin quickly turned to a quizzical look.

Now, my new protgs, I am very curious. You are a very unique duo, animals from different

species. A special challenge as well. But species smecies. I have treated many - shall we say -

unusual couples in my professional life. This can be very excitingyes?

The tiger and the turtle nodded vigorously.

So tell me please. What brought the two of you together? Your Doctor needs to know the

complete story.

Cat and Tort gazed lovingly at each other, brought their limbs together and began telling their

extraordinary tale.


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Reptile Meets Mammal

Cat and Tort lived and worked on the outskirts of a major metropolis. Cat toiled on a familyfarm helping the Brunos, an aging couple, care for their cows. A cunning tiger could make a few

bucks this way and dream about knocking off a bovine or two for lunch. Tort worked on a golf

course collecting stray balls for the owner of a country club. It was a good life for both of them

but something, or rather someone, was missing.

Cat was married once before to a wildcat named Willie. They seemed perfect for each other,

with much in common like their love of nude bathing and barbequed bovines. But alas, Willie

was too wild for Cat and had fantasies of frolicking through the night with other felines.

Fantasy turned into reality and Willie was history.

Tort never married. He had a lengthy love affair with a rattlesnake named Randa who slithered

around every gopher on the course, and a quickie with Clara the clam, who he met at the

beach. Clara was cute enough, but even worse than Tort when it came to communicating.Imagine a clam and a turtle tackling lifes stressors when neither would peek out of their shells

for a risky adventure. Needless to say, Tort was rather shell-shocked about love relationships.

The tiger and turtle rarely roamed beyond their habitats in their daily lives, but a fascinating

twist of fate was destined to bring them together.

One day, farmers and golfers were confronting each other at the county courthouse to argue

the merits and demerits of converting pristine farmland into Country Clubs. Cat was taken in

the back of the Brunos pickup truck with Sporty, their German Sheppard. Tort rode atop the

dashboard in a BMW full of grumpy golfers. Cat and Tort were just along for the ride, but what

happened next would change their lives forever.


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The drama unfolding in the courthouse that fateful day was palpable. The country club

developer, backed by the grumpy golfers, proved the power of money over merit. Tort worked

for the golfers, but his heart beat passionately for the farmers. Thus, he was livid with anger

when the judge ruled against them. Yet, true to turtle form, he could only pull into his shell and

swallow his feelings. Cat - as tigers are prone to do - expressed his displeasure by growlingexpletives at the jaundiced judge who laid down the ruling.

Cats tirade went unheard by the powers that be, but her roar rocked Tort out of his shell.

Who was this renegade with the melodious roar? he asked, peering around the courthouse.

And thats when it happened: Cat and Tort, paw to shell, made perfect contact. The tiger

lunged at a golfer with the turtle as a stepping stone. Granted, a skewed way to meet, but this

is a tee-tooting reptile and aggressive, bovine-lusting mammal were talking about.

Cat apologized to Tort, and later to the golfer in yet another court appearance for the Brunos.

To compensate for her rudeness, the tiger graciously invited the turtle to the farm for brunch.Tort - his reflexive reserve curbed by his attraction to Cat - accepted the invitation.


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Why Opposites Attract

Raine here - your friendly hybrid - to insert some hard-nosed facts into Cat and Torts mushyversion of their courtship. You dont have to be a geneticist to figure out that I didnt get this

info firsthand. The Brunos filled me in on the heartwarming and (excuse my attitude)

nauseating story. Yes, my stomach turned a bit when I heard about the big Cat and little Torts

delusional infatuation. They were so enamored - so gaga - that you could park a 747 in the

space between their fantasy world and reality.

Did they even consider what they (and I) would be up against?

The big Doc insists that this state of mind and body occurs in all love affairs via the explosion of

euphoria-inducing dopamine, that neuro-stuff that drives addicts crazy. Supposedly, theres a

tiny brain part in the hypothalamus, the sex engineering department, usurping all logical

thinking in the first few months of love. Early Relationship Brain Dysfunction, according to Dr.

G. I still dont get it, not yet anyway.

So heres what happened on that fateful Sunday.

Except for the bovine tartar, brunching with Cat, the Brunos and Sporty was a memorable

experience for Tort, who was accustomed to the staid affairs of the country club.

The towering guru said that irresistible forces were drawing them together in an opera of love.

They were drastically different an expressive, sometimes irascible mammal and a shy,

repressive reptile. But Cupid has a mysterious way of guiding diverse creatures towards the

dream of transcendence. Great minds of the past have repeated the thesis in many ways: We

shall, we must, overcome our differences. The reptile and the mammal were instinctually doing

their part for themselves and the entire universe of animals.


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Okay, I can buy that, but mom talking to dad in a really mushy way puts my, heretofore, cast

iron stomach into reverse. Check out this aggressive tiger.

Tort, I just love the way you handle the pressure of life at the country club. The golfers dontseem to rattle you at all. And I especially admire the way you care for your shell, so

methodically, so compulsively. Goodness, perhaps one day youll teach me how to be so neat

and organized.

And then dad comes back with (yuk!) this response.

Cat, he would say, Youre so expressive, passionate and honest with me. Im impressed!

Your communication style helps me stay excited about our relationship. And Im pleasantly

surprised myself: I dont even care that you are a bit aggressive at times. Ive come to realize

that its just you, and I love everything about you.

If that doesnt make you want to stick a grapefruit in somebodys face, youve obviously been to

gaga-land yourself, perhaps more than once. I forgive you for being, well, human.

This is Dr. Gs take: The mammal and the reptile, two marvelous creatures with significant

differences, came together as one, complementing each other and relishing every moment of

it. What could be more marvelous, romantic and healthier for the Universe than that?

Due to my great respect for the big guy, Im putting my lousy attitude on hold for now and

trusting his analysis of the situation.


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********

This may be a good time to clue you in on my psychological makeup, lest you get the idea that

Im some perennial pessimist.

If you read the summary of a psych report by the School Psychologist (which I did, stealthily),

heres what you would discover: Raine is a vulnerable animal that has developed a defensive,

cynical attitude to protect her considerable wounds. This creative, intelligent creature has been

at the precipice of a nervous breakdown and unconsciously chooses to be persistently vigilant

to avert emotional threats from her environment. Prone to use humor to deflect uncomfortable

feelings. Edgy, with a sarcastic wit. Should be considered fragile, but not dangerous to self or

others. (I love that part.) Needs considerable therapeutic help, when she is ready.

In laymans terms, Id rather be edgy, defensive and cynical than go completely bonkers. And,

just in case youre wondering, Im not quite ready for a shrink job.

I hope that assessment helps you comprehend this challenging character named Raine.


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********

The Brunos had no trouble accepting a tidy, timid turtle to their trio. Even the golfers adjusted

to the idea of having a tiger around who could rid the golf course of those pesky intruders: the

golf ball hoarders, joggers and gyrating race walkers.

Six months later, Cat and Tort had one of the finest weddings the country club had everwitnessed. All of their friends attended, including the Brunos, the grumpy gofers and loads of

farm animals. They were cautiously joyful about this strange union between members of two

species. In the shadows of these happy moments came the whispers of doubt: Would they be

accepted by society? How would they deal with their differences?

And heres the best part. Some of the more gossipy and salacious creatures in the group

wondered out loud to each other:

For goodness sakes, the prurient ones pondered. How could they possibly make love?

Well hells bells, Im living proof that they figured it out. So stuff the pervy questions guys!

Sorry about that, but I get so frustrated by those uppity, self centered and grandiose types.

Heck, if mom got wind of that gossip, she would bite their snooty heads off, literally.

Enough said. Lets return to the sessions before the Raine tantrums get out of hand or paw,

whichever the case may be. In spite of my edgy attitude, theres much to learn from the

therapy trio and, of course, the irrepressible Siggy.


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Irresistible forces draw us together in an opera of love.

Cupid has a mysterious way of guiding diverse creatures

towards the dream of transcendence.

Great minds of the past have repeated this thesis: We

should, we must, overcome our differences. The reptile

and mammal were instinctively doing their partsfor each

other and the entire universe of animals.


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2

Lesson of Universal Defensive Reflex


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Whos the ***hole in This Relationship

Dr. G shifted from states of riveted attention to fidgety impatience during Cat and Tortstantalizing story. At one point, he resorted to a four-legged soft shoe to stop himself from

barging into the tale. The couple, enthralled by each others perception of the journey, hardly

noticed the big beast dancing.

Like an overheated pressure cooker, brilliance must eventually spew forth. And at the end of

the saga, the giraffe exploded.

Fantastico! Wunderbar! Oh, my goodness, Im so excited that Im speaking in tongues. Yes,

yes, yesthis is absolutely amazing!

Cat and Tort didnt understand, tilting their heads in dismay.

Ah yes, my dubious duo. It is perfectly incredible to observe the stages of marriage, and the

way they evolve in all species. First, theres the unconscious ignoring of our partners

peculiarities, the love is blind issue I mentioned before. Then, we have the reality of everyday

stress: work, and bills, and worst of all, forgetting to put the toilet seat down after we pee.

In a moment of self deprecation, the Doctor thought out loud: Perhaps I should have used a

more technical example.

Vat the hell, vy not let it go, Siggy commanded. Vat the hell, vy not let it go!


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The Doctor looked at the bird: Yes, yes, yes, danke mylittle friend.

He took a deep breath and continued.

And the most powerful stage: The primordial instinct to project blame. Dr. Freud observed it

first in humans, and you illustrated it beautifully in your session with me.

The Tall One paused for a moment to reflect on the brilliant Psychoanalysts research on

defense mechanisms.

You want to blame me and I want to blame you. My goodness, it goes on and on, ad nauseam,

this reflexive instinct to point the finger at each other. Its a terrible propensity that gets us

nowhere, except in the animal house with each other.

Cat and Tort remained puzzled, so Dr. G demonstrated the principle by a using a maneuver that

worked beautifully with confused couples.

Let me illustrate this destructive process here and now. Tell me, Mrs. Tiger and Mr. Turtle, he

said, bending his enormous head down between them. Very slowly, he posed a provocative

question.

Whatdoyouthinkhashappenedtotransform your

blissintopureagony?

The tiger and the turtle quickly fell into the doctors trap and launched their attacks. He did

this! exclaimed Cat in her aggressive manner. She did that, whimpered Tort while buried in

his shell. The instinct to point the finger of blame was automatic, like salivating before the first

bite of a sumptuous meal.


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The duo vigorously lobbied the good doctor to take sides, transforming the giraffe from a

helper into a black-robed judge sitting atop the Supreme Court of unruly behavior.

The great and all-knowing Judge would execute the fantasy of simple marital solutions: First,

find the guilty party. Then, chastise the perpetrator. Finally, deliver the maximum sentence for

the dastardly crime of bad marital habits.


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********

Dr. G played along with the blaming game, giving them all the rope they needed to hang

themselves. But enough was enough, even for a mild member of the animal kingdom.

Stop! Stop! Stop! Or I will have to perform another one of my silly soft shoes, he shouted in

frustration. My friends, your accusations are so very poignant that I have gone to the troubleof documenting them.

The Doctor looked down to his tablet full of numbers.

Cat, according to my calculations, you have argued successfully that Tort has a plethora of

horrible habits. Good for you. Now, let me count Torts accusations. Ah! Yes Mr. Tort, you

have eloquently complained about Cat as well. Wonderful for you as well. You are both superbat playing the blaming game, so allow me a moment to identify the guilty and not guilty parties.

Yes, please, a little patience until I can declare a verdict and dictate a sentence to the culprit in

this relationship.

The tiger and the turtle, feeling quite smug at their execution of blame, contemplated Dr. Gs

statements as he retrieved a large rubber stamp from his desk drawer.

Ah, yes. Here is precisely what I need.

With a swift and surprising move, the Doctor pressed the stamp against Cats forehead, then

vigorously stamped Torts shell as well. The stunned couple stared at each in disbelief.


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You have a big black A on your forehead, Tort said.

Well you have a huge A on your shell, retorted Cat as she turned to the Doctor with a puzzled

look on her face.

Perfecto! said Dr. G. Its done. Just what you have asked me to do. I have discovered the

***holes in this relationship.

The couple, struck by emotional lightening, fixated on the Doc with their mouths agape.

Well, he continued. Are there two ***holes in this relationship or not?

A long pause ensued, and then a raspy voice screeched from the corner of the room.

Vell, vat the hell, vy not let it go! the bird started.

The giraffe shot the bird a stern stare and commanded: Not now Siggy. Not now!

Another pregnant pauseAnd then, a spasm gyrated from the doctors gut, spread to his long

neck, vibrating his long throat. Like a volcano spewing its pent-up lava, his massive mouth

erupted with laughter.

The gyrating tossed the large creature from the couch to the floor, where he continued

guffawing uncontrollably. The absurdity of the exercise sank in. Cat and Tort staring at their

respective As began to spew laughter as well. In unison, the voices permeated the room

like three tenors in a comedic opera.


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When the opera buffa subsided, Dr. G got up, brushed himself off and hovered over Cat and

Tort. He noticed a distinct change, a relaxation in their body language. In a soft, compassionate

tone, he said.

Now that you can laugh at yourselves, we can begin once again.

From experience, the doctor knew that couples live with a myth that someone is to blame for

their faulty relationship. They expect the therapist to take sides, find the culprit and chastise

the guilty creature. The giraffe, in his infinite wisdom, seized the opportunity to teach a very

important early lesson.

Fault-finding, you see, gets you nowhere and very quickly. You must inhibit, obliterate and

relax the instinct to blame, blame, blame. You know, my little clownish partners, neither of you

are at fault, but both are responsible for whats happened to this marriage. So I suggest

strongly that you take one hundred percent of the responsibility. Then we have two hundred

percent to work withYes?

Dr. G proudly surmised that he had executed the ***hole Maneuver with just the right timing,

and he was pleased with Cat and Torts reaction. They absorbed the comedic exercise and

realized the absurdity, the sheer futility, of the blaming reflex.

Most important, they left the session with a growing trust for the wise giant of the jungle and

his expert guidance.


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Lesson of the Universal Defensive Reflex

Projecting Blame Is the Brains Pervasive Maneuver

That Reinforces an Intolerance of Others


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Prejudice and the Progeny

The hairy bride ravished no longer, and the turtle dropped a plethora of notches on his perfect

partner scale. Stress happens!

Heres the good news: Cat and Tort continued to work through their differences with the Doc.

Thats how they tried to mollify me when I shook nervously in the corner of my room during

their so-called marital encounters.

Dont be so nervous honey. Were just working through our emotional issues.

Yea, right! Mom roared through the house, and Dad snapped and retreated into his shell. Call

me sensitive, but that felt like an old fashioned brawl to me.

I like what I heard about the Dr. Gs therapy style, direct and right between the eyes. Exactlywhat the nervous progeny ordered. You must admit that his ***hole Maneuver was pretty

funny. I had a healthy belly laugh when Cat and Tort told me about the big As on their bodies. I

was, like, Go BigGiraffe! They didnt find my exuberance terribly amusing.

At this point, you may be asking yourself: Whats the deal? Why does the kid keep inserting

Raine complaints into the middle of the saga?

To be honest, I am in desperate need of some sympathy. Or is it empathy? I never know the

difference. Please, someone be in touch with what the kid, moi, was going through. Just in case

youre interested, Ill tell you: It was no fun at all, perhaps the most miserable period of my

short, esoteric life.


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Mom and Dad struggled through a good part of my childhood, cycling between lovey-dovey

stages and then chronic periods of fight and flight. Dr. G was good, but hes not a miracle

worker. Every kid hopes for a quick cure, but I cut them some slack: They did the best they

could, given their major league differences and the stressors of everyday life.

Cat and Tort were angst-provoking, but to tell you the truth, my biggest challenge was at

school. You humanoids worry about your kids being pushed around by bullies, and rightfully so.

But think about this: We had bona fide bulls at my school. Yea, monstrous creatures with huge

torsos, gargantuan horns - and when they were pissed - gross stuff oozed out of their gigantic

noses.

If the burly bulls didnt like your particular look, or your smell - or the way you moved your littlefanny - you had big problems. A walk around the schoolyard was an invitation for trouble. At

times, I felt like one of those Spanish matadors, side-stepping angry, dangerous toros at every

turn. And nobody came to my rescue or screamed olay when I executed a cool escape.

My school was pretty much a disaster, with gangs of mammals and reptiles fighting for

dominance over the campus. Not a great environment for learning. Its not easy listening to

teachers with reptiles crawling around, and bullshit tossed from one side of the classroom to

the other. If youve ever been slammed on the side of the head with a flying disc of manure,

you understand my pain.

Fortunately, the school imbroglio improved considerably when a grownup version of me was

hired as the new principal. Imagine that! An animal that was I hate to use the word a hybrid

of two species that actually made it to adulthood. A really big dude, an ex- pro-creature-athlete

of some kind that got the undivided attention of the mammals and reptiles.

This animal was all about diversity, and taught the student body an invaluable lesson (which

Ive known forever): Relax your instinctual fight-flight reflex long enough to get to know your

fellow creatures and the differences are naturally obliterated. It was a grand idea he

proliferated, which worked for about eight out of ten animals. The other twenty percent

remained in the dark ages. Those are the creatures that need Dr. G.

Cat and Tort were plodding along on their journey, so lets return to the next part of their story:

The Tiger and Turtle Behavior Pattern. Thanks for your attention, and your sympathy or

empathy, whatever the case may be.


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Relax Instinctual Fight-Flight Reflexes and Our Differences

Are Naturally Obliterated

The Wounded Warrior is the Catalyst for Change in an

Intolerant World


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The Tiger and Turtle Behavior Pattern

Cat and Tort made a home for themselves in a loft apartment above the Brunos barn. Eachevening, they strolled through the farm to unwind from the days work. One night they stopped

by the fish pond and talked about their latest session with the Dr. G. The tall one focused on the

Tiger and Turtle Behavior Pattern. During the next session, they asked about this habit and how

it applied to them.

Very good question my friends, he said with obvious pleasure.

The Tiger and Turtle pattern plagues most couples. Im so happy that you were paying

attention. This is undoubtedly the most important principle to understand for the health of

your marriage.

The giraffe was pensive for a moment, adjusting his tablet on his oversized paunch.

All of us, even a mild-mannered creature like me, are a complex mix of tiger and turtle. What

I mean is that we can be expressive and terribly aggressive as well as fearful and passive: The

infamous fight-flight reflex that we inherit to deal with dangerous encounters comes in very

handy in the jungle.

His voice trailed off for a moment and then came to life to punctuate a critical thought.

But this reflex can be devastating in the affairs of love.


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Now visually angry, the Doctor was ready to blow off some steam.

And please tell mewho in the hell teaches us about love? Parents, family, siblings and peers.

Yes, yes, yes! Animals who themselves are struggling with fight and flight. How can we possibleget it right? We inadvertently learn to depend on one pattern and neglect the other. Thus, you

see, we develop an imbalance, too much tiger or too much turtle.

The anger dissipated and he said calmly, more affectionately.

Then we meet someone special who complements us adds turtle to our tiger and vice versa.

And this balances us. We fall in love with that part of us (and them) that was left behind years

before. You see my dear ones, we fall in love with the lost self that is discovered in someone

else. Its a beautiful, perfectly natural and gratifying experience.

Cat and Tort held each other tightly. The giraffe paused to think about his own marriage and his

bulbous eyes welled up with gigantic tears.


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********

.

Dr. G recovered from his momentary catharsis and continued.

We get married, make commitments and have offspring. This seems like a panacea until stress

and reality strikes, and we regress to what were accustomed to - our silly tenacious habits. You

know, you must be acutely aware of your habits and there is a very effective way to think aboutthem. Let us try and see, he said with a slight smirk.

Take the word HABIT apart, one letter at a time. Subtract the letter H and you still have A

Bit. Take away the letter A and you still have a Bit. Now subtract the B and you still

have It. Voila! You are stuck with the same damned thing, the HABIT. See how perfectly

clever that is? It will help you remember the dreadful power of your behavior patterns.

The gentle giant paused for a moment, wondering if he had executed the habit lesson

correctly. Then, sotto voce, under his breath.

That was a bit amateurish Doctor, dont you think?

The Myna perked up from his usual slumber.

Vat the hell, vy not let it go!...Vat the hell, vy not let it go!

Danke Sigmund, said the giraffe. You are a great help, prodding me away from my penchant

for perfectionism.


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Analysis of a Conflict

After his rather lengthy discourse, the Tall One peered down at Cat and Tort. The duo,unlocked from each others affectionate grip, was now engaged in a spirited discussion about

the fact that a behavior pattern had been named about them.

A tiger and a turtle, they said to each other. Is the Doctor pulling our many legs?

The quizzical look on their faces spurred Dr. G to elaborate with a real life experience.

Let me illustrate this tenacious habit by asking you to do another less ludicrous exercise: The

analysis of a conflict. Yesthere is no better way to help you comprehend this essential point

than to analyze one of your arguments. If you will, please act out a typical row in your daily life.

It would be very helpful.

Cat and Tort out of their growing respect for the giraffe dutifully complied with his request.

They played their parts with Dr. G as the director in a psychodrama of their real lives at

home. This is the scenario that unfolded.

Tort returns from work where he retrieved balls from back yards, frigid streams and the mouths

of angry copperheads. Cat and Sporty have been chasing bovines all day, and the tiger has just

begun to prepare dinner. Shes anxious to see Tort, to share her day with him and is looking

forward to a romantic stroll through the farm. Tort crawls into the kitchen, his tiny head barelypeeking out of his shell.

Cat: Hi, hon. How was your day?


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Tort: Okay, I guess.

Cat: Tell me what happened with the grumpy golfers.

Tort: I really dont want to talk about it right now, dear.

Cat: (Under her breath) Well, he never wants to talk about anything. But, Ill give it another

try. Come on hon. You know, its better to get feelings out in the open instead of

keeping them all inside.

Tort: Give me a break Cat! If its okay withyou, I dont want to talk right now. Im tired and

just want a drink, maybe listen to the news and unwind a little.

While this fight-flight pattern unfolds, Dr. G quietly observes and contemplates the familiar

process. Tort pulls inside of himself to deal with stress, and Cat feels abandoned. This has

become a consistent habit that prevents an end-of-the-day connection between them.

Cats style is expressive. She wants to commiserate, whereas Tort shuts her out with his Im

going inside my shell routine. The tiger is not as patient as before, and her threshold for

aggression is perilously low.

Cat: I feel like youre a stranger in the house. Youre so damned shut off from me Tort! You

just cant let me in on whats happening to you.

The Doctor observes the point of escalation.


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And, by the way Mr. Tort, since were being honest here, I wish you wouldnt be so damned

compulsive about cleaning your shell. Thats all you do when you come home. Pull in

and neat yourself to death.

Tort: You cant let a damned thing go can you? Especially me. You explode for no reason at

all. And you dont give me a moment of peace. Geez, you must be insecure. I wish

youd spend more energy cleaning up around here and less time trying to control me.

Ah ha! the Doctor interrupted. There it is, in the flesh: The dangerous HABIT. I knew it. The

analysis of a conflict, it works so beautifully.

Dr. Gs reaction caused a moment of self reflection, which provoked another internal dialogue.

You know, dear giraffe, you are a very excitable creature, yes?

And he answered himself.

I know, I know. But I love this work and I cant help myself. When I see a grand opportunity for

growth, I am compelled to jump on it.

This time, without Siggys help, Dr. G vs. self continued.

Of course, of course. I forgive you for your exuberance.

Thank my dear fellow. I see that years of therapy and Siggy have worked to help you accept

your peccadilloes.

And the final self statement.


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I appreciate your reinforcement of my good internal work, my dear accepting self.

After his affirmative, internal dialogue, he returned to Cat and Tort, who had grown

accustomed to moments of pensive self refection from their Towering Guru.

Now, before the next time we meet, I want you to complete an assignment. Please listen

carefully: You must be curious, very, very curious. Like a scientist, you should become experts at

observing your respective habits, and how they affect your marriage. In the jungle, the saying is

Curiosity killed the cat.

Before his could continue, the tiger jumped up and roared with anger. The doctor, aware that

he had struck a nerve, quickly explained.

No, no, no Cat. Not to worry. Its a silly saying at best.In this case, its more appropriate to say,

Curiosity cures the Cat, and the Tort as well.

The turtle reached over and put his tiny arms around his mate, which settled her down.

Introspection is a very healthy thing. You must become aware of your responsibility in creating

marital stress. Remember what I have said again and again: I will demand 100 % effort from the

two of you. Then we have 200% to work with. I hope that you are okay with that.

Tort was still holding the rattled Cat when they left, which pleased the giraffe greatly.


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All of us are a complex mix of tiger and turtle. We can be

expressive and aggressive as well as fearful and passive.

The instinctual, fight-flight reflex was built into our brains

to cope with dangerous encounters in the jungle, but this

reflex is devastating in the affairs of modern relationships.

The Tiger and Turtle Pattern Plagues Individuals in all

Cultures. This Pivotal Principle Helps Us Understand an

Intolerant Universe.


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5



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7

Two Hearts Beating as One

Dr. G started the session with a vigorous argument for the mental and physical health benefitsof love relationships.

A famous actress once said, and I quote

The giraffe paused long enough to induce a puzzled look from the tiger and turtle.

No! No! No! My dear ones, she did not say, And I quote.

He paused so the punch line could tickle the funny bone, and the duo giggled, which was

enough for the big guy.

I know, I know. Its an old, corny joke, the Doc said . But I banked on the fact that you had

never been victimized by it.

He paused again to give Siggy a chance to whine at him, but the bird was snoozing on the job,

so he continued.

What she said was, I vant to be aloneWell, more power to her if she vants to be alone.

For me, however, the real action is in the struggle for healthy love.


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Cat and Tort smiled and moved closer to each other, the language of their bodies spoke

volumes about the emotional distance they had traveled.

And why, you ask, is that true? I will gladly answer: Because a love relationship is the perfect

medium for learning. Better, yes, than schools and universities and athletic stadiums and , he

stopped, suddenly peering at the antique bust on the table.

Forgive me Dr. Freud, but even better than the shrinks couch. What we learn from love is

irreplaceable, irrefutable and many other irre words I cannot think of at the moment which

excuse the terrible punirritates the hell out of me.

Vat the hell, vy not let it go! the bird started, but the Doctor quickly interrupted.

Down Sigmund! he commanded. That was catharsis, not self flagellation.

The myna reflexively returned to his quiet slumber.

The duo, undaunted by the interruption, seemed pleased with the Doctors discourse. Thegiraffe who always relished a good audience continued to a dramatic finale.

In sum, I believe and I think the scientific data will back me up here two hearts are better

than one. And brains, livers, spleens, bladders, andOh my goodness, he caught himself, and

once again in a moment of self reflection.

Sometimes doctor, you never know when to stop.

Sigmund, anxious to correct his previous blunder, jumped into action.


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Vat the hell, vy not let it go!Vat the hell, vy not let it go!

Yes, damn it, you caught me that time. I suppose a Danke is in order.

After the familiar refrain, he continued.

So this is what we can do together that we cannot do alone: We learn from each other.

If you are to get the absolute maximum from this marriage, you must learn the lesson of the

tiger and the turtle. And we start the process of learning from each other by two exercises:

Tamingthe Tiger, and Getting the Turtle Out of Its Shell.

It matters not who takes this first risky step. When the tiger relaxes, it gives the turtle a chance

to feel safe. Or, when the turtle comes out of its shell, it makes the tiger feel confident and

secure. You see, my dear ones, it is a reciprocal process, one stimulating the other. As the

Americans say, lets get the show on the road, or lets get the ball rolling. Those Americans

know how to motivate, dont you think?

And after a pause, the Tall One asserted: So, shall we give it a try?

Cat looked at Tort and then at Dr. G.

Why not? she said. Come on Tort. Come on out. I promise to take a deep breath, relax andlet you take the lead for a change.


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Tort felt on the hot seat for a moment. What was he supposed to do? he asked himself.. For a

change, it felt unusually safe outside of his shell. Cat seemed relaxed and Dr. G was his typical

sublime self.

Vat the hell, he said mimicking Sigmundand out he came.

This is what Ive been thinking and feeling, started Tort and then continued to express himself

like he had never done before.


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********

That night at the farm, Cat and Tort were in a pensive mood. They didnt grasp everything that

unfolded in the session, but felt strongly that a life-altering experience had occurred. For the

first time in their marriage, they had been neither tiger nor turtle.

Cat had lost part of herself in that session, the drive that reflexively pushed for attention andlove no matter what the emotional cost. She gained a more gratifying response: The option to

relax and listen to the thoughts, feelings, and desires of the one she loved.

Tort lost part of himself as well, the reflex to pull into his shell out of fear. In its place, he

gained the desire and ability to take a risk for Cat, and for their marriage.

Cat and Tort experienced what it felt like to be balanced, to experience the synthesis of tigerand turtle. Most important, they were accomplishing Dr. Gs goal for them: To learn from each

other.

In the gurus illustrious words: What are we if not teachers of love? What else is there

to do, if we dont help each other discover the lost self from long ago? What is

marriage but the merging of these two lost selves, the tiger and the turtle, into

one healthy, loving creature.


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Transcending the Primordial BrainTapping the Reasoning

Brainis the Height of Human Endeavors. The

Uniquely Human Process Allows Us to Embrace

Our Differencesfor the Sake of Personal,

Relationship and Worldly Well-Being


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8

Dr. G and the Lady Anna

The evening after the therapy session, Cat and Tort sought out the Brunos at the farm. Theythanked them profusely for the referral to the brilliant helper, and expressed how much they

had improved under his tutorship. The duo knew there was much work to be done, and that

the good Doctor would be there when they stumbled. This gave them great hope for the

future.

Dr. G assigned them the task of being perennially curious about life, love and happiness, which

served them splendidly in the merging of the tiger and turtle in their personalities. Balance was

eroding the split between fight and flight.

Now their overwhelming curiosity turned towards him, the good Doctor. Who was this

Towering Therapist? What was he all about? And, how did he develop his phenomenal

emotional acumen?

Naturally, they turned to the Brunos for answers. The couple smiled to each other about their

barrage of questions, the insatiable thirst for knowledge they had encountered before. In the

past, many ofDr. Gs adoring clients had come to them to ask about the great creature. This is

the surprising tale they told.

In the distant past, Gerald the giraffe was not so wise, so kind or brilliant in the realm of the

brain and behavior. In fact, he was an aggressive, impulsive animal with many addictions. He

spent money frivolously, consumed pounds of addictive substances, gambled compulsively and

worst of all - he ran recklessly through the metropolis bullying creatures half his size.


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For years after Gerald earned a degree in the helping profession, he helped no one. He couldnt

manage his own life and was considered a hack among his colleagues. It was a very raunchy

reputation for one who was so talented.

The giraffes bizarre behavior persisted until his most massive friends - the elephant, rhino, and

hippo were forced to intervene. With their considerable cumulative weight, one sat on each

end of Gerald with a third in the middle. From this position of strength and heft, they made

him an offer he had to consider:

Get some help now or lose our friendship, and perhaps your life, to these destructive habits.

This weighty intervention was the first step in Geralds recovery. He entered therapy with a

famous lion, an African missionary who visited the States to teach the art and science of

healing. Among many interventions, the king of doctors prescribed the following: My dear

colleague and friend, he said. You absolutely must take consistent breaks from the stress of

caretaking.

The wounded healer took the lions advice and began his regular escapades to a farm owned by

the Brunos.

The giraffes many lonely nights induced the couple to do some serious thinking about a match

for their recovering resident. Thus, they introduced him to their dearest friend, Anna the

Accountant.

The couple was only mildly confident about their undertaking: Was this a perfect union or a

miserable mismatch? they asked themselves.

At first, it seemed preposterous and unsavory to Gerald.


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What in the world are you thinking? he asserted. A tall creature born in the wild and, well, a

humanFor goodness sake! Shes short, has merely two legs and her head is incredibly large for

her body.

Yet, the union turned out to be a brilliant romantic maneuver. What better way to counteract

Geralds wild nature than to balance him with the quiet, mild-mannered Anna, the compulsive

counter of the countryside.

After a short courtship, they entered premarital counseling with the Lion, and later were

married in a small ceremony. The rest, as they say, is hybrid history.

Cat and Tort were spellbound by the Brunos story. When they recovered from their trance-like

state, the duo felt infinitely grateful to the lion and to Anna for bringing the Great One back to

his senses.

The tiger and the turtle left the farmhouse that night in a hopeful mood. And we leave them as

well: Cat and Tort lovingly connected, heart to heart, with their enviable differences.


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Epilogue: The Wounded Warrior Revisited


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Thats the story, Cat, Tort and Dr. G.

Mom and dad are thriving and visit the good doctor for periodic booster sessions. When they

regress to old habits, they endure another therapeutic shot from the big Doc, typically a firm

tongue lashing. And if youve had a close encounter with a giraffes humongous tongue, you

know that it whips you into shape toute suite, right away.

Once they had the cojones (their word) to ask him: Docwhen do we finish with therapy? You

knowtermination?

This query provoked a thunderous laugh that seemed to rumble the earth.

HA! he bellowed, which blew dads toupee right off his tiny head.

You ask about the end. When you make it to the coffin, or turn to ashes, whichever youprefer. Then, you will never again drive yourself or others crazy. Perhaps you will finish when

you get to heaven. Then, you may drive God a little nutty too, but I can assure you, the

Almighty One can tolerate your ugliest habits. In the meantime, I have the great pleasure of

putting up with them.

Dr. G has kept his therapeutic edge or edgy therapy, whichever the case may be.

A gentle side of the towering guru emerged in my sessions with him. I suppose a vulnerable kid

reminds the most confident healer of his wounded youth. As they say in the psych biz, I went

there with a lot of emotional baggage. Years of coping with ugly comments and derisive stares

took its toll on me. The feelings of rejection have always been the major-league, worst part of

being different.


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The Doc nurtured me through this tough stage of my young life, and taught me a lesson or two

about the cruel creatures that I encountered.

Disgusting! he spewed. Those cruel ones, they create emotional havoc throughout the

animal kingdom. Some say its the devils work, and evil in the world. I say evil, smevil to that.

They are a bunch of cowardsyes? Always picking on the tall, short, yellow, green, fat or lean.

He paused and reflected on his poetic prose.

And further, my tender child, they crave and achieve great joy from chastising the anxious,

melancholy, OCD, ADHD, PTSD and many other vulnerable animals. Those who are coping with

bad memories, emotional or physical challenges, or creatures who are just plain introverted.

Yes, the cowards choose to prey on the sensitive ones.

Dr. Gs anger was palpable.

Ask yourself why? Why would they want to do this?...I could scream at the top of my very long

lungs, but that might rile Siggy, so I will just explain their pernicious motives.

He paused and looked around, as if to check for mean ones in our midst.

You must understand, my little student, they are full of fear - the darkest, deepest terror

known to animals. Yes, fear that if they lose control and power over others, they will be

abandoned. Excuse my jungle tongue, but when those who follow their dictates stop caressing

their hairy buttocks, they always disintegrate. The cruel ones then regress into a puddle of

poop.

Dr. G stopped to reflect on his statements.


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I really should have used more technical language, he said and then caught himself.

Not a word from Sigmund, so the giraffe looked over and cleared his throat, very loudly.

The bird perked up: Vat the hell, vy not let it go. Vat the hell, vy not let it go.

Satisfied with his able assistants recovery, the Doc continued his tirade.

And then, they are forced to spend some special time with me. Thats when I have the joy of

poking at them.

So, my petrified control freaks. What took you so long to get here?

Dr. G bent down close to me, and with his massive hoof, he ruffled my perfectly coiffed hair.

This is the bottom of the pit for the mean ones, he started and paused. Or is it the bottom

line? Whatever it is that the Americans say. This is what you must learn my little cookie: Keep

your defenses down and your confidence up.

He leaned down to my level and almost whispered.

If they dont smell your fear, they have no choice but to feel the wounds of their own

miniscule minds.


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The Docs point hit its emotional mark. It took time and effort to quiet my fight-flight reflex and

build up my confidence. Ultimately, I learned to cope with the nasty, narcissistic animals in my

life. I remember his final advice to me, which sank right into my heart.

Be patient and kind to yourself. You are a beautiful work in progress.

Im much better now, less reactive to criticism and more self assured. I think about college

down the road, perhaps an international adventure like the Sorbonne in Paris. Im told they

have quite a diverse group of students, so my hybrid features may not rock or shock the

campus.

The city has dealt with the likes of Toulouse Lautrec, Van Gogh, Hemingway and Gertrude

Stein, not to mention Mr. Bonaparte. And the Moulin Rouge is there as well. Really, Parisians

have seen it all, if you know what I mean. I should be just a tiny bleep on their emotional radar,

which is perfectly fine with me.

Heres an unexpected development: Feelings and urges have popped up in bodily places that

Ive never noticed before. You know, in a Moulin Rouge sort of way. And they percolate when I

least expect them. It happened the other day when a big gorilla brushed up against me, and

again when I accidentally bumped into an aardvark. Whats that all about?

Maybe, just maybe, Im beginning to understand the mysterious chemistry between Mom and

Dad. These feelings are disturbing and pleasing at the same time. Pubescence? Who knows?

Whatever you call it, this maturation thing is quite the challenge. Perhaps another visit to the

good doctor is in order.

Speaking of the magnificent one, Ive read that hes won awards from various psych

associations for innovations in therapy. Also, something about a television series in his future.

Yea, a reality show called The Longest Couch or something like that. I guess when youre tall,

erudite and eloquent, the world just cant get enough of you. Maybe hell make loads of money

too. I can just imagine what he might say.


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Raine, Raine, Raine, my precious young creature. You must know that it is very, very expensive

to be a guru in the big city. And your good Doctor, he has to make a living, yes?

And talk about a match made in animal Heaven. What about Dr. G and Anna? Who would have

expected that union? Not exactly Ward and June Cleaver. Maybe thats what its all about: A

tiger and a turtle, a giraffe and a lady. Im reminded of what mom and dad said.

Its about learning to embrace and love our differences.

Very coolyes? Excuse me while I check out that gorgeous hunk of a gorilla.


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From Dr. GtoAll Wounded Warriors

Be Patient, Kind and Loving to YourSelfYou Are a

Marvelous Work in Progress

Le Fin


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Documents

Lessons of the Wounded Warrior