Level 3: Chapter 16

Understand the difference between assertiveness, aggressiveness, and passiveness

Discover how assertiveness can be beneficial to tutors and tutees.

Learn how to be more assertive!

Passive Allowing someone

else’s rights to overshadow one’s own

Easily coerced into thinking like someone else

Difficult to express opinions and ideas

Put the tutees needs before one’s self

Aggressive No regard for the

rights of others May give threats

(verbal or physical) Viewing oneself as

superior Refusing to listen

to the thoughts and opinions of others

A tutor who exhibits passive behavior May feel hurt, anxious, or even angry May not get the most out of a session,

because he or she yields too much to what the tutee wants to talk about

Could become frusterated with the idea of tutoring and dread it

May cause inability to communicate needed information effectively

A tutor who exhibits aggressive behavior May cause a conflict between the tutee

and themselves May say things that they do not mean May make the tutee uncomfortable to

the point he or she gains little to nothing out of the session

May not take the tutee’s learning style into account or other unique needs

Being able to express oneself without violating the rights of others In other words you are putting yourself

in the leadership position without abusing your role or neglecting your responsibilities

Allows you to manage the time you have

Avoid Internalizing feelings An inefficient session

Encourages effective communication

To be able to refuse requests from students when necessary

To avoid being overwhelmed by the demands of others

Avoid letting the pressures of tutoring build up

Consider your needs/responsibilities before the needs of your tutees

Imagine how a past conflict could have been handled in a more assertive way

Practice talking in an assertive way Respect the wants, needs, and feelings of

others in sessions and in everyday life no matter how different from your own

Take a problem solving approach to conflict, viewing the other person as a teammate rather than opposition (compromise)

Be honest without trying to make the other person feel guilty or responsible

Begin statements with “I” rather than “you”

Listen actively Brainstorm to solve the problem

together Learn from bad experiences to handle

things differently the next time

Eye contactUpright postureRelax the shoulders and faceBreath normallyTry to maintain a steady tone of

voice during conversation

Assertiveness is important not only during tutoring, but also during everyday life

If you are only assertive when tutoring it is difficult to make assertiveness part your routine

An international student wants you to guide them on his or her paper topic. It is an opinion paper that regards personal experience. What would a passive tutor do? An

aggressive tutor? An assertive tutor?

A tutee that wants you to do his or her work, and is asking in a desperate manner. What would a passive tutor do? An

aggressive tutor? An assertive tutor?

A tutee with ADHD keeps drifting his or her attention from the session no matter how interesting you try to make the subject. What would a passive tutor do? An

aggressive tutor? An assertive tutor?

A tutee frequently shows up a few minutes late and you have sessions back to back so while at first you welcomed the break it has become difficult because the tutee wants the full hour. What would a passive tutor do? An

aggressive tutor? An assertive tutor?

What kind of person are you? Are you a different personality type when you are tutoring than in your everyday life? Is that good or bad?